You’re human! Don’t sweat it but thanks anyway for explanation ☺️

I'd just like to say, I appreciate this comment very much. I am a sociopath, been to the doctor and diagnosed. I continue to work with doctors, and try very hard to understand the people I interact with on whatever level I'm capable of, and act in a manner that helps others and, hopefully, improves the world a little bit. I used to rather dislike myself, but over time I learned that I could use the way my brain functions to my advantage. I may not be able to empathize properly, but I can study other people enough that I understand them on an intellectual level, and try my best to do good by them. No, it isn't always easy, and yes, I often do things or say things that hurt people unintentionally. But I try. And having someone acknowledge that folks like me aren't just inherently "bad" is encouraging. So thank you.

Nice disclaimer

While I appreciate the disclaimer, I believe you should consider changing the name of the video as well. It sensationalizes these diagnoses in a way that can only be described as dehumanizing towards people with ASPD and NPD.

Hello Jonathan. Long time Therapist here. Reading your above comment, I'd like to add a reflection. Not to split hairs, but as you mentioned that there are those who might be diagnosed as "narcissists and sociopaths', not everyone may be aware that a diagnosis establishes a gamut or set of patterns which best determines a course of therapy, rather than putting a label on a patient. There are those with narcissistic and/or sociopathic tendencies, rather than 'being narcissists and/or sociopaths' outright, and it is they who can demonstrate potential for progress in bettering themselves and their lives. Question: I have not yet come across a term for the 'dead eyes' you spoke of towards the end of this video (which I have privately been referring to as "demon eyes" since it looks exactly like the special effects used in horror films when a demon / pure evil is being portrayed). Have you heard a more technical term for it? I'm really enjoying your videos. Great team work and excellent reflections! Best Wishes!

Yeah... and mine did tell me this. Luckily I’m not dead because he’s in prison but realizing the danger you were in was actually so real it could kill you... that does something to you. My friends and I would think “oh it was awful back then with him and the way he would treat us... but that was just him”. On some level it was our normal and to be told “you’re lucky you and your friends aren’t dead, and you need to get away before you *are*”. 😔Even a few years later, you don’t ever feel free.

@@aubreygraham981 I am happy that he is away from you. I can't imagine what you have gone threw. Stay safe ♥️

I think it's pretty scary the fact you can hear your surgeon while you're on the table

@@localtavernsluteplayer2182 lol. i had surgery on my foot while i was awake. they just numbed my foot and had a panel up so i wouldn’t see it lol

Honestly kind of worse because one of those is an accident and the other is a warning of someone’s intentions towards you

I noticed you censored a word as a trigger warning. I just wanted to let you know that I'm triggered by censorship so please refrain from censoring yourself in the future. Thank you.

@@Kineticboy2K1 lmao wtf

The invisibility aspect can come with the attractiveness of said person if you are beautiful you can get away with murder reasons why people crush over Ted bundy

@@ashaf4530 Why is that funny?

@@Kineticboy2K1 you’re the best troll ever

The scariest thing is that it's not even all that metaphorical. I had an SO who stole my things or moved them and convinced me that I was just forgetting where I put my keys/wallet/work shirt. I so badly want to watch this movie, but it's so real and I cannot handle.

My mum dared to do a college course once and my dad screamed in her ears for hours the night before an exam so she had a huge migraine.

Yes. Or the abuser will tell the target that the workplace is abusing them and their boss is no good, or that the target is not a good fit for the job. Every day. It's an easy gaslighting tactic because so many jobs suck. But in this case they are trying to prevent the target from having an income.

they will sabotage any important events or days u have, and don't want u to succeed at anything

@@professionalpainthuffer yeah my dad would do this too. Horrible. He would gaslight us and control us in any possible manner. :(

I’m with you Shado Kittie! It’s been 11 years for me. It’s hard. I have a lot of problems letting anyone get close. It’s an awesome excuse to surround myself with doggos!!

Glad you got out of it!

You're a strong, badass survivor.

I'm glad you're doing better. I hope whoever that monster was has payed with their blood.

Dude really was an “invisible man” to you. I’m glad you got out and are far healthier now.

So true. Dude was awful. Actor seems like a cool guy. He really made me hate the character, though. Did his job I guess :)

Another great example of how little Adrian actually cares is the food scene. The first part is, Adrian acts like he is so nervous so he got her everything but never thought to ask Cecilia what she wanted beforehand, which shows his true nature. Second, most of the food on the table is sushi, which can be harmful to women who are pregnant. Adrian knows Cecilia is pregnant but still buys her sushi while claiming to love her.

@@createdbychanel8960 Good point. Sometimes the little things are the most telling/insidious.

@@lacybookworm5039 It's one of the reason I like this movie so much. You can see little symbolism in the things done, such as the stove being a gas stove when Adrian turns it up and then Cecilia thinks it was her mistake, he's still gaslighting her from afar.

You people here are extremely perceptive. All I get are hunches that turn out to be right XD I really think, even though I haven’t seen the movie and have only watched videos such as these, that I would have liked this movie a lot. It’s based, at the beginning and end, on very real things. It’s why I like the Disney movie Tangled and why Mother Gothel’s my favorite antagonist; The manipulation tactics and abusive relationships are so scarily real. It’s what real life can be, not just a fictional story about a monster trying to kill everyone for the sake of horror. And the acting in this is so good as well, very admirable. They did their job great.

I'm so very glad and proud of you for getting out ❤️

Hang in there, trooper! I'm glad you got out.

I'm glad you did. Lots of love to you.

If you rather hear "I'm glad you got out", well... I'm glad you got out. Hopefully things are much better. Best wishes to you! :)

I am glad you got out ❤

Thats a good catch. Foreshadowing indeed

“I’m sorry I didn’t treat you well enough while we’re together and it took you leaving to learn my lesson” was the last thing my ex said to me before i blocked him. Get outta here with that bullshit 🥲

@@46tearsforyou was that the last time your ex contacted or tried to contact you?

I never thought about that... damn

That's an AMAZING observation! 👏🏾

"Really? ______ was abusive? He always seemed like such a lovely and charming man. I couldn't ever have imagined he would ever be abusive."

@@Elowuz yes! They never seemed to realize that they simply were never in a close enough position to experience said person abuse. Narcissists CHOOSE who to reveal themselves too be because they know who will accept the abuse ans who wont. They know how to portray themselves as well meaning people to outsiders.

Exactly. Growing up with a narcissistic father everyone thought he was the sweetest man ever. People loved my dad and they didn't understand why I didn't get along with him. For him, his reputation is EVERYTHING. He controlled me to make sure I was the perfect daughter in his eyes. He tried to force everything about me from the way I dress to the career path I took. I remember how he logged into my email and deleted my acceptance letter to top-performing colleges like Rutgers, Boston University because he wanted me to stay in-state and live at home with him. He even took my mailbox keys so he could control what letters I see. He only took the letters out in the late-night when everyone was asleep. He even tried to force me to be a doctor so he could brag to his friends and family that his daughter is a doctor. He did the same thing to my brothers.

@@Elowuz or “she’s a woman what can she do?” Hiding behind the shield of her sex, that’s because she’s a woman she’s not capable of monstrosities. When in actuality she’s just as bad as any monster in films. Abuse has no sex/gender.

@@bigpulgalokes I agree. I was just giving an example.

Along with that, the main dish on the table is sushi. Adrian knows Cecilia is pregnant but disregards her health so much he orders sushi which is known to be dangerous for pregnant women to consume.

Aye, to be fair, between the weeks of spiking her water with diazepam and all the time he spent invisibly kicking fifty shades of crap out of her throughout the film (the ACTING in that kitchen scene tho), the sushi is probably not the biggest present danger to foetal health. Cecilia says in the movie that he'd been screwing with her BC and trying to get her pregnant. He wants her/us to believe that his sudden gear shift from 'emotional torture and literal murder attempts' to 'look at my big brown Labrador eyes and my anxiety' is out of concern for her health and that of the baby, but it's so clearly just another attempt to regain control over the situation.

Also it's another technique used by abusers. He starts off small again trying to control her by saying "Here, I chose what you can eat but I'm giving you the illusion of choice." It's a foot in the door way of getting her to bend to his will again, so he can escalate his commands and not have her notice. "Why don't you wear this dress. Why don't you sleep at my place. Why don't you blow off your family and be with me instead."

Is this just actually the best theatrical portrayal of narcissistic abuse ever? Even just the concept of the invisibility - while others see the effects on Cecilia, they never see the full extent of what goes on, so there's always room for doubt and denial. They see what he wants them to see. He masks himself as rich, young, smart and handsome. When that fails, he masks as dead. People start seeing through that and he shapeshifts again into a victim of kidnapping. Anything to avoid scrutiny and cast doubt onto Cecilia's accusations against him. He doesn't just want her to feel like she's going crazy, he wants everyone else to help convince her that she is crazy.

Yes! This is one of those insidious things that abusive partners do. Extravagant surprise gifts and gestures that you didn't ask for. It has nothing to do with you or what you like, and everything to do with how they want to see themselves as a partner. And it's a very difficult thing to complain about without seeming ungrateful. It's like every time they make a big flashy gesture (that might be really nice things to do in the context of a different relationship) they are hanging another stone around your neck, while also telling you who they want you to be.

Agreed. Tangled is too imo

We're all no names, at the whim of these people. I'm sorry.

I’m really glad your therapist could see him for what he was, that they were in your side, and that they stood up for you to your family.

*on your side

Thank-you for sharing your story. I hope it helps other people to get out.

Thank you for sharing.

Yeah. We need to have that conversation more for sure.

Pfft, nobody cares what people do to their DAUGHTERS, it’s the sons that really matter... I feel like crying.

I have been in a similar situation multiple times. I'm glad you're alive and safe; my heart goes out to you!

@@krampus7520 I'm a trans man

@@okijoki_art Alive but not safe. Thanks tho

So I've had some sort of ptsd from 7 years old where a 20 year old man followed me home trying to kidnap me and rape me...... the worst part I was 7 years old and I kept seeing that man in church and it's not like I was 14 liking like 18 I was 7 I nearly looked 10

Goreandhoodies Damn..did he ever get arrested atleast..?

fuck,reminds me of my abusive ex-friend who tried to control over my decisions,tried to make me change my appearance,everything WAS under his control. Don't worry though,I already got out from him since two years ago but I always get traumatised and whenever I thought that I'm safe from him,idk why I get the sense of him following me everywhere. Relapse sucks too,it can happen out from nowhere whether you are at work,school,etc.I remember that I got dreams sometimes about him chaining me up & demanded me to keep under control because he IS the one who controlling me. Okay I apologise for ranting,although I already got out from this emotional abusive friendship,it still haunts me..

Definition of my childhood.

I was diagnosed with PTSD in my mid 20's and this is suuuch an accurate way to describe it

I’m glad you got away.

Oh goodness, that's horrible… I'm sorry you had to go through all that, and I'm glad you got away. I hope and pray that you're doing well. ❤

Stay strong. So sorry it happened to you.

Just remember these two things: 1) Someone actually risked their entire career so that you could be safe. Don't let they effort go to waste. Never go back. 2) Someone that loves you would never hurt you in any way or form. Thus, he doesn't love you.

My gosh that's terrible! I'm so happy and relieved that you were able to leave 😍 The most important thing is that you can live a life where you feel safe 🙂 Hopefully you can see your dad again - you should definitely press charges though for what he did.

His true goal is to control her not hurt/kill her. A narcissists wet dream is to have someone who will give them unconditional attention/devotion forever.

that fucking last part where he's talking ot her. the fucking gas lighting "i know you feel like you're going insane sometimes"

He also drove off all of the people that cared about her and made her believe it was all her fault, so when she asked them for help, they no longer cared because they thought she was insane. She kind of was, but only because Adrian made her feel that way.

This is why I arranged a job interview in a different town in secret. Got the job, broke up with him and left town within 2 days. In those 2 days I only left my place before it got dark and always locked the door behind me. Got put on a "blacklist" at my job because I didn't give in my notice 2 weeks prior. Didn't even care, I just wanted to leave that place alive.

@@veronikakiss3754 So sorry this happened to you! Hope you're safe now xx

@@forgetmenotjimmy thank you I am ❤️

@yourbirdcreative That's why I stayed. I was scared of what he would do if I left. He's a master at manipulation and control and emotional abuse... not physical abuse. But when I would try to leave, it would get scary fast. It was like taking a security blanket from a toddler. I was alone (no family). I had tried to get help from a friend... but it ended the friendship (my fault for reading the friendship wrong). He had properly isolated me. Whenever I hear people say, "Why doesn't she just leave?" about someone... my head about explodes. There are so many different reasons people get stuck... but probably the biggest is that people can become broken... just like horses (Stockholm Syndrome). And without a proper network of support... it's almost impossible to escape. Even with a network, it's extremely difficult and very dangerous. But that's one of the things I like about movies like this one... it helps draw those who haven't experienced abuse into the complexities of it and by doing so... increases empathy.

@@logicandlaughs I know the feeling, it's incredibly hard mentally to leave as well. People who say "why don't you just leave him" are extremely ignorant and should just do a 5 min Google research about the psychology of abused victims to know better.

It really does, man. I left my abuser almost 2 years ago but had to start going to therapy because of the severe PTSD and anxiety it caused me. Still to this day I wake up several times a week sweating because I have nightmares about being raped, getting beat up, dying etc. It fucks you up so much.

@@veronikakiss3754 I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I know it is incredibly difficult to find the will power to get OUT of those situations. I may be a stranger, but I’m proud of you!

@@sidecharacter361 thank you ❤️

@@veronikakiss3754 You are really strong to talk about this. I hope it will get much much better for You!

Your comment brought tears to my eyes and even vicariously I feel seen and not judged. So often the response is "get over it" or "it's in the past, you're safe now.". It's never for fully in the past when you're nervous system is on code red 24/7 and the memories haven't been fully transferred from their fragmented trauma state to normal long-term memory. I think your mom is lucky you are willing to see her ❤️

Proud of you!💗

So proud of you- your baby will be so much happier because they’ll be safe. Thank you.

Well said!

[laughs in the invisible Man reminds me of my dad]

agreed :D

Well, I am alone. I don’t just feel that. Very stupid thing to say when you are not in that situation.

@@svetlanabarrow6026 I certainly don't know your situation and my post was only intended to encourage, not dismiss anyone's lived experience. I have been in a position where I felt very isolated and alone and my situation was dangerous enough to qualify me for emergency shelter by a local domestic violence organization.

And also that the abuse continues to haunt survivors after they leave. There's the psychological ptsd that no one else can see and a sense of always looking over the shoulder for the real person to just show up.

This is, unfortunately, so true. I think that's part of what makes this movie so relatable, and so absolutely terrifying.

Hi, just saw this comment, a year After. Are you in a better place now ? I sincerely hope so

Definitely. I hope all is well with you

I really hope you got out. If you haven’t yet, keep trying to do what’s best for you. I hope you’re doing well.

Awesome! We want to do more horror eps, but it needs to be thoughtful horror. We've heard good things about Midsommer. We'll take a look!

Yesss Midsommar, The Lovely Bones, and The Babadook are my top three "this fucked me up" movies

@@carnivorousjellybean1599 oh joy, can't wait 😅

@@CinemaTherapyShow I hope that Alan Seawright will also point out the movie tricks that back up the topics shown in Midsommar's writing (mentioned above).

@@CinemaTherapyShow that would be awesome! The creator says Midsommar is at heart a "breakup movie" so y'all could talk about that, too!

I'm not sure that "narc" is the word for this. "Narc" is more synonymous with "tattletale." *EDIT: I realized after finishing the video that "narc" was short for "narcissist." Sorry, my mistake!*

@@emilylike-the-soup2502 haha yea it's slightly difficult to spell narcissist. I'm on RBN and use the term narcissist so often I just say narc for short eventually. And I do get that narc means something else

@@emilylike-the-soup2502 if you’ve ever been on the raisedbynarcissists reddit, it’s a term that they use there a lot.

my narc was a little bad at hiding it so some people, when i told them what happened, were like "yeah i could see it". Some however bought into what he said and thought he was just so wonderful

Something that lowkey bothers me, is how (in the video, and in the comments section) everyone is referring to the narcissist abuser as male, and it adds another level of "the abuser beign invisible" when I'm a male and my abusers have been females. There must be something about me that attracts them, but it's really disturbing how we as a society are even more blind to women being the abusers. Like, literally, I've had an ex that was psychologically/verbally/physically abusive towards me. Guess what she did? She told all our friends that I had been beating her. And it's a pattern I've experienced. The female abusers will literally turn the story 180, because they know they're more likely to be believed.

may i ask what those tendencies were? seems like useful info to have 😅

Chills. Good thing he is an ex.

But the thing is that they often do get away with it. Society still has a LONG way to go in actually handling abuse cases properly and actually punishing the perpetrators still doesn't really happen, if it does it's a slap on the wrist. The first response from society has to abuse and assault is to question if the victim is just lying about it. As a victim of both myself, I don't feel like society is very understanding of survivors of abuse and assault. Maybe others have had better luck, but I've only met therapists who really seemed to get it and didn't say or do things that made me feel worse.

I KNEW I had seen her face somewhere else before!!

She was great in Mad Men, too.

She's also a Scientologist

@@Makarosc Yeah, sadly.

@@Makarosc OOF, THE IRONY.

Wait you can’t eat steak if ur pregnant?

@@123marksalot You can't have it if it's not well done. If you like it rare or medium, you're not supposed to eat it.

It's sort of like how in the Marvel Jessica Jones show after Kilgrave takes control of Jessica he arrogantly assumes that his favourite foods are hers.

Oooh that's a really cool little detail! Love that

I wonder jow true this is because people in Japan eat sushi regardless and theyre fine.

I hope you’re okay

I really hope that you're OK now.

im glad you made it out

well done, how are you doing now

💀

We keep it real.

Its tasty popcorn tho

This made me laugh out loud Thanks :)

@@angryowl6226 you’re welcome!

You could see it as a tone-shift, where the invisibility stops being a narc metaphor and becomes complete superhero fantasy, though that is quite a leap.

@@D3wd20p I don’t think it’s a leap at all. It’s a power fantasy for abuse victims. Getting back at your abuser. Which, all things considered, is a totally understandable power fantasy.

@@NovusIgnis "especially as a woman since they're so believed these days" not at all. even if she is finally believed for it, it comes with a huge gash of shame. unless you have been a victim of abuse, any gender, you will know exactly what it's like for people not to believe

@@NovusIgnis I’m sorry that you’ve experienced abuse. However it is a fact that women suffer from more abuse at the hands of men, are drastically more likely to suffer physical and mental injuries from it and are more likely to die from it. Men are also mostly abused by other men. No there is not enough tools for men to get the support they need as society views them as “stronger” and can’t be abused which isn’t true. However, women are the vast majority of victims, experience the worst forms of abuse and are more likely to die or be sexually abused. Women by most societies in most countries do not have adequate resources to get help and keep themselves or families safe, including in my country Australia. I’m sorry you’ve suffered, but women do not get all the so called help and are often not believed nor protected. You may have suffered but that doesn’t mean women haven’t too

A fight like this was the beginning of the end of my relationship too. I got so angry with him. And I told him he was gonna sit there and listen to why I was upset and apologize. He apologized - and then "and now I want my turn and my apology, cause you made me really mad too". Nope. I got so pissed. Told him he had no right to be angry with me (didn't go over well) and ended up locked in the bathroom for an hour just to get away from his yelling. The fight? I said I was poor in an A&W drive-thru when my debit card got declined, and he said I embarrassed him in front of the drive-thru worker, and that I shouldn't "brag about being poor", especially when it was my decision to go into debt for university.... meanwhile he has no degree, lied on his resume for the $70k a year job he has, and had his fancy sports car paid for with his mothers credit line.

A apology without changed behavior is manipulation.. GOOD FOR YOU!! 🎉🎉👏👏

@@46tearsforyou Wow you sound unpleasant and bitter. Im sorry but holy cow dude.

This! I had an argument with a friend because he said he didn't care about my feelings, so I told him I didn't want a friend like that. I quit talking to him and our mutual friend told me that he felt bad about it all and that he wanted to apologize, all I needed to do was talk to him and apologize as well. I said that I had nothing to apologize for, I didn't do anything wrong (I'm usually the first to say sorry about any problem I have with people) and they said that I should still apologize because "it's the polite thing to do." It doesn't actively bother me but sometimes only one party of an argument should be the one to apologize

Glad you realized that sooner

I'm glad your out now. Never give up hope!

I am so sorry. I couldn’t imagine living like that. I hope you are in a better place now and I hope you are safe and you feel safe.

wow i hope you heal from it all

Real life doesn’t always follow the regulations. I’ve known several of these situations.

I'm morbidly curious if meeting this type of person is common...we could be walking past them every day and not know...dang.

@@Homesicktraveler Apparently everyday we meet a killer. We just don't know it.

@@magda1662 yeah I heard that too. Crazy.

And everyone who is aware of medical law would've agreed with his breaking of the rule as he believed a patient in his care is in danger. Its no different than him calling a suicide prevention hotline because his patient exhibited suicidal behaviors. He broke code to save someone.

Yes. I went into this movie looking forward to seeing a yandere version of Dr Griffin (the original Invisible Man). And instead I got “How I Escaped My Evil Ex”. I was really pissed.

I somewhat agree. I thought the movie was going to be a silly thriller tbh, so did ppl I knew. But I feel that marketing it as escape from abuse wouldve also gotten not quite the right attention

Honestly, not sure it would have. I can see victims going to this and thinking it's something else, and realising their relationship is unsafe from it.

Eh? The first time I saw this movie it was fucking terrfying as a trailer, he wasn't even invisible yet. She literally sneaked out of her bed and her boyfriend punched in the window to get at her. The first thought I hd was 'he isn't terrifying because he's invisible, he's HORRYFYING because he's a psycho'.

Sadly it wouldn't. Often topics heavy like this are the reason people will try to avoid. If you watching a movie at night, you wanna go to do something easy and light to rest your mind.

You did the best thing; no contact. Great job!

Man can become victims of women too. I hope you have a great, happy and safe future. All the best for you.

My uncle was abused by his ex wife. She tried to poison him and he even hid a camera to record her beating him unconscious with a book. I can't remember why the toxicology report was tossed out in court and the video was tossed out because he "didn't have her consent to record her". Luckily he's out of that marriage, but I didn't realize how bad his situation was until I was talking to one of my cousins (not one of his kids) who is in regular contact with that side of my family.

Glad you're in the better place now. And yes, women can abuse people too, be careful guys. Sending you a big hug!

Same though

Same

And that applies to all sorts of toxic relationships, not just full on abuse. Even if someone's otherwise a nice person but is a serious downer can be so emotionally draining it starts to affect your physical health. Especially if you already have problems with depression. In those cases, it's probably safe to stay friends, but, you know, maybe hang out together less, and definitely don't be roommates.

YES! Jonathan here. I'm SO game. That movie really got to me.

@@CinemaTherapyShow The Babadook himself is the 1st horror movie monster in ages to scare the hell out of me. I also love the story of the grieving mother detached from her son, and sort of blaming and hating him for indirectly causing his father's death, while the boy is totally oblivious as to why his mom doesn't seem to love him.

@@aleaanderson6600 it was a brilliant film, for sure. We'll have fun with it. So many layers!

I watched that movie a couple days after my grandpa had died (he was old and fell, it wasn't unexpected but still). I'm not much of a movie-watching person so the metaphors didn't register... but something about that movie made me so uncomfortable that I was physically nauseous and had to leave the room.

@@aleaanderson6600 I actually related to some of the son's traits. Part of him makes me think he has ADHD.

THANK YOU! My friends keep telling me I need to get away from my abusive mom, but I'm like FUCKING HOW?? I can't do it by myself. X'D It's SO frustrating!

​@@7Write4This9Heart7So frustrating, especially when you're a minor without finances or many choices. It's not easy for anyone

@@juliab3326 The sad part is, I'm an adult with a shit ton of money saved up, but my parents control EVERYTHING about my life, so... It's not that simple. ;A;

What chilled me the most was how casual he was about it all. He murdered and brutalized people in front of her. Choked her, and threatened to kill people she loved. He murdered her sister and framed her for it...but that would all be ok, because he needs her. Ugh...I was very satisfied with the ending. He got what he deserved.

People tried to defend him?!

Yeah at the end, my little brother was like, oh so he was a good guy? Like, this character fooled some of the audience members too. Unreal how manipulators do that to people

Couldn't agree more. At the end of the movie I was like, wait he seems innocent and I was thinking maybe cecilia is just hallucinating or something then I later realized,I was gaslight

Flashbacks to breaking the window, murdering people, gaslighting her like crazy* *Humble and kind?*

yEs i need this in my life

I would love to see that! Have you seen Hello Future Me's video called "The Psychology of Azula"? I thought it was a pretty good breakdown of her psyche, but I would love to see their analysis too.

@@thepinkpanda818 I'm glad someone mentioned that. I was going to bring that up, too. It's one of my favourite among Tim's videos.

A piping hot mess.

Poor azula. I feel so bad.

I understand the abuse was harsh, but if it was a passion i hope they didnt manage to kill it. How are you holdung up today?

@@G.D.G. I'm disgusted by creative jobs and have zero trust in anyone. The financial devastation still haunts me.

I was in a 3.5y emotionally abusive romantic relationship and this is 1,000% accurate. Towards the end when I would reiterate my request that he go to therapy, he would angrily fire back something about how much money he spent on me and couldn't I tell from that how much he loved to me?? (Money he chose to spend offering to get me things, and insisting on doing so when I liked something, to the point that I tried not to visibly like things so he wouldn't offer to buy them and I wouldn't have to try to dissuade him without angering him [because I MUST be upset with him if I won't even let him buy me something because that is the only reason I wouldn't want him to, so why am I upset with him this time]) Here's what I learned, kids: When deciding to keep someone in your life, screen out all the good times and good behaviors. Look only at the shit. Is this shit a handful of times the other person was crappy because they were really, really stressed both physically and emotionally? Or is this shit a big long pattern that remains surprisingly consistent even when the person improves and grows in some ways? Don't lie to yourself, and don't make excuses for them.

My last relationship was... well, I don't know if it could be considered actually abusive, but it was definitely unhealthy. Several times in the year we were together, she'd say things like, "I always change myself to be more like the person I'm with, and I'm doing that for you." Every time I'd have to be like, "Not only did I not ask you to do that for me, I don't *want* you to do that; I want you to be yourself." And yet she's still say it again and again another time. She had a strong habit of clearly promising me things she *thought* I wanted from her without actually listening when I said what I actually needed. At one point, we went to couple's therapy (more like I was already in therapy for an anxiety/depressive disorder, and my therapist wanted a session to include her after hearing about our relationship). She kept saying things like "I can't fix you," or "When you have an episode, I think I'll just leave you alone and then come back when it's over, because I can't help you with it anyway." And I kept repeating, "I don't need you to fix me, I'm not asking for that, I'm just asking for support!" I can imagine my therapist at the time was probably thinking, "I hope he gets out of this toxic relationship as soon as possible, but he's got to realize that for himself." Sorry, went a bit tangential with a personal anecdote, but the point was that promising things to a partner that they never asked for and then praising themselves for it, or getting defensive about not doing something no one asked them to do, is a pattern I'm all too familiar with...

I think that's really insightful- he's not offering something with emotional substance. He's not offering safety, recovery, reconciliation. He'll kill, throw his material goods in the sea, give her money and nice things. But he himself is empty, and he will absolutely NOT give her an Apology or Acknowledgment.

From my observation, this seems to be a super-common thing with narcissistic people...? Giving gifts even when the recipient has asked them not to (always based on the giver's tastes not the recipient's) and getting really angry & calling their victim ungrateful or mercenary when the person they're forcing things onto protests. Doing things "to help them" without actually consulting the recipent & in ways that significantly cross their personal boundaries, then accusing the unwilling recipient of being ungrateful, selfcentred & uncaring because they aren't comfortable with this behavior. I guess it's just another form of gaslighting and lacking respect for boundaries...? Can come from a place of emotional insecurity (trying to "buy love") or one of attempted manipulation, or both. Really difficult for the target to combat though, because it's framed as unselfish generosity.

MY MOM ACTUALLY SAID THAT TO ME

I actually had that realization with myself that I was in an invisible hold. I got out of an abusive situation with my parents that’s been going on for years, I realized it was abusive, and I didn’t have to go back. So I thought everything was going to be better from now on but when I started actually talking to my friend and how it affected me, I just started to cry because it hit me that I still wasn’t okay because of what happened. And it’s been about two years and I still struggle with it

it took me a while to stop having nightmares. I kept having nightmares of him murdering me, even a year after leaving. It's been 2.5 years now though and I'm in a much better place. Oh and also, i was only in this relationship for four months. compared to the average length of these relationships, many stay in for FAR longer. And idk how they make it because I was already so drained physically, it was starting to sicken me. My point is, it really doesnt take a whole lot of time to traumatize a person

@@jonathanschaffer2594 it will get better. And opening up to a trusted person who isn't going to question why you're still affected, that really helps. You need to vent some of that and get it out of your system sometimes. but ultimately, the best thing that faded the impact on my psyche was really just time. Our brains are wired to eventually fade memories, you can take some solace in that.

even though i do not know you, I am glad you got out of that hell.

Great to hear you got out! 💚💪 I hope you're safe now and healing 💚

I hope you're doing better now :)

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you're doing better

And this channel loves you!

Katie saame

I love it so much skskbakdksk

We all do. 🖤

Yes

How are you?

Hope you did.

Leave leave leave

Thank you I was about to look it up!

Looks up penitent lmaooo

Glad I wasn't the only one

I knew that one because I was raised catholic 😂

Great choice! Superheroes who aren't quite so super is a fantastic idea for a show. We've talked about doing CT episodes on TV series in the future, though they'll be about specific episodes or arcs than about entire series, which is beyond the scope of what we do here. We may turn towards The Boys. Thanks for watching, and please always hit us up with your suggestions :)

@@CinemaTherapyShow The cool thing about the boys are how... realistic the superheroes are there, and their character arcs are fascinating. Especially as an aspiring psychologist major, it would be great if you guys checked it out!

Homelander is the best depiction of a malignant narcissist I’ve ever seen.

@@existentialgamer9206 what about the nazi woman?

@@zbeh4495 I hadn’t seen her yet when I made the comment but I still stand by it. She is evil but Homelander is a much more fleshed out character and still a better depiction IMO

You might have some problems that no one pays attention to since dreams are a reflection of you.

@@hairyspiders407 I *know* I do. Or did, mostly. Spent the vast majority of my childhood trying to figure out if there was something wrong with me or the rest of humanity, and the school councilors *insisted* that I wasn't different *at all.* Age twenty-five, find out I have Asperger's. Like the gag tombstone epithet, "I *told* you I was sick!" Still have a problem sometimes with people dismissing what I say. Often, I think, because I have a hard time explaining things verbally (Asperger's) and because I often see connections and patterns other people don't (again, Asperger's). Doesn't help that sometimes the connections aren't there. Or that I've spent most of my life around people significantly older than me.

I remember a nightmare I used to have when I was younger: there was an evil witch or something (i just remember it was a woman) and I kept trying to scream to warn other people and even pointing at her but my voice wouldn't come out.

@@brinaf2857 Oof. I've had some variations on the 'trying to scream but no sound comes out' dreams. Most recent one was last year, I think, when I had walking pneumonia.

I so feel this. The majority of nightmares I have are cases of "something bad is happening and no one is listening". The weird part for me is, usually, whatever the bad thing is (usually an intruder or monster) it's never after me. Its ALWAYS after someone else, usually family. And every time, no one listens, and theres nothing I can do about it.

Hi army!

He's no longer "invisible" literally and figuratively. Good catch!

@@lindseycassella3015 thanks!!! 😃

THIS! Just the other day, my mom said something about "I would walk through the fires of Hell for you kids". Meanwhile, a few weeks ago, she called me an ungrateful bitch who she hates and wishes would just get out for doing a more efficient job washing the wall we're painting than she did. AND a few weeks before that, my brother told her he wished she and her bro, his fave uncle, got along better, and she proceeds to tell him she fucking hates him and fuck you seven times and she wishes he'd get the hell out. *upside down smiley face* THE CREEPY-ASS HYPOCRISY!

Preach truth!

Yeah but they focus on the men because 90% of abusive partners are men and there’s a good chance the woman can get physically hurt

@@NovusIgnis Truth🖖

Correct🖖

@@NovusIgnis it’s not evenly split. 1 in 5 women in the us has been r@ped, 1 in 75 men have been r@ped. Men are 1 in 4 women experience spousal abuse, and 1 in 9 men experience spousal abuse. The people most often abused by largeness are women aged 18 - 24. Almost 20 million women have reported been stalked compared to over 5 million men. Females make up the most child sexual abuse victims, being 3 to 5 times more likely. Men are often the victims of other men like fathers, family friends etc. men need to be educated, given the tools to be helped when abused and taught not to abuse. However, men and women do not experience the same level of abuse, society and history has made sure of that

Great suggestions! We're so sorry for the awful things you've been through. We'll definitely do more trauma content in the future. Did you see our Serenity ep that explores PTSD? kzfaq.info/get/bejne/Z7hmqtWLu7iXaZ8.html

@@CinemaTherapyShow thank you, you're very kind. I haven't seen it 🤦‍♀️ it's the one video of yours I've somehow missed 😅 but not for long! Thanks again guys.

@@the_book_review7388 you're so welcome!

Women often say this because they know that it is more acceptable to "I stayed out of love" than to say that they were financially dependent on their abuser or to say that sometimes the abusive society we live in can be even worse than an abusive relationship. Often, leaving an abuser means having to put up with even more abuse until you can get on your feet. Especially if your abuser keeps the physical abuse to a minimum. Scenario. You are in a marriage, 2 kids shared (no steps or halfs) that are under school age. you have a high school diploma and haven't worked since your first was born-years. Your only access to money is a low-limit credit card. Your spouse hits you once or twice a year, although they do smack your ass a little harder than necessary when they are being 'affectionate' and sex is often rough and almost never when you want it. in fact, if you do express sexual intent towards them, they will rebuff you and put you down. They often put you down, call you names, tell you all they things you are bad at. This has been going on for years. You have no friends and your family is not a viable option. But, you get tired of it and leave. You take the car you were allowed to have, fill it with gas, buy all the things you think you will need and can survive on in that few hours you have access to that credit card before he will shut it off and you find a woman's shelter. They have a list of rules for you to follow, but they don't actually have a room for you. You have to stay in a hotel room the first night. Your children are crying for daddy and for their rooms and the stuffed animal you forgot. Other patrons of the hotel complain about the noise. Management knows what is up and allows you to stay, but it is still stressful. The shelter can only afford 1 night stay in hotel, but they still don't have a room for you and your children. You will have to stay in the common room, sleeping on the couch or floor. There is a curfew of 8pm, earlier than even your abusive husband ever required you home. you have no privacy. Your children are crying constantly. It wakes the other women and their children at night, women who seem to have forgotten how scared they and their children were. Not all of them, others come out to help and support you, but those who run the shelter have already told you that they have the other families to think of and if your kids keep being noisy, that you will have to find a different place to stay. They have helped you apply for housing, but you have been told that even with your homeless status that it will be 6 months to 2 years. Women who have had bones broken by spouses are ahead of you. You don't disagree with this. So, there aren't any rooms available to you, since you are not a permanent resident of the shelter, you have to leave everyday and can only come back at 5pm. So, you have to spend all day just sitting around, you try the library-they kick you out for noisy kids after a couple hours. You can't look for work with two kids in tow. You have applied for welfare and childcare assistance and you get SNAP within a few days, but won't get cash assistance until the first of the next month and they have told you it can take up to 90 days to receive daycare assistance and that it will only be for 20 hours per week until you find a job, but in order to get cash assistance, you must volunteer/job search at least 40 hours per week. Except for a few women at the shelter, almost every person you come in contact with is antagonistic towards you. The security gaurd at the library follows you around. You have turned around to find a strange man playing with himself and watching your kids. Homeless men have taken over the public park closest to the shelter and you cannot afford to use gas to go farther. Besides the car is in your husbands name and you are pretty sure that the only reason he hasn't reported it stolen is because he doesn't want to look stupid in front of the police. People sneer at you when your kids run around, they give unsolicited advice, they threaten to call CPS on you for being homeless. The shelter keeps getting daily complaints about your children crying at night and the mentions that they just don't have room for you keep increasing. Your children are surviving off of microwave food because you often can't access the stove in the shelter until everyone else is done, and by then it is lights out time. So, now instead of one person treating you like shit, you have many doing so. Your children are crying, eating badly. Any help you can get may be months away, that is if you even get it because without a restraining order, they want to count your husband income you have now learned. The judge won't give you a restraining order for financial/emotional abuse. you look at your previously happy children, you uncertain future, the 2 weeks that have gone by with no change, no bites to job applications and you start to feel how selfish you are-to place your children in this situation. He doesn't hit you that often, after all and what is being called names compared to your traumatized children? So, you go back and tell yourself that you will try again when the kids get in school or you think, maybe, just maybe he will mature and get better.

@@mandlerparr1 can i have a tldr. If you here to tell me how hard it is for women to leave i understand. They are usually helpless to leave. I just do.t think these movies should be promoting a toxic kind of love which.might get people to enter a toxic relationship in the first place.

@@mandlerparr1 here mine, I'm not sure if this good or not but um here we go, sorry for about this. *until one day, a young woman saw your children crying and and screaming came up to them and started doing silly tricks cause them to stop, you were shocked how your children slowly stop crying and screaming just to watch a silly woman doing some silly tricks, then she pulled out silliness glasses which make your children laughing, you slowly smile when the woman who saw you said "I knew you need some cheering up." You're surprised how she said it, you look to her where she take out two toys you first thought she was CPS but your children already took the toys, one for your baby who is slowly chewing on and one for your toddler who hug it very tightly, the woman give the toy a little voice telling your toddler "oh please, oh please don't hurt me." Which made your toddler to be shocked, looked at the woman, she continued "be very gentle to your friend there alrighty." Your toddler nodded his head, you still surprised how she deal with your children better than you, she looked at you and said her name and you said your name, she actually a volunteer from next state about five hours from just to help those who are needy, she ask you how long you and your children been in the shelter, you slowly started to telling her your story which she was broil when you told her about your abusive husband, and wish to the beat crap out of him, which you started to laugh a bit by telling her that he use to be a boxer in high school, which she replied that she does boxing, karate, wrestling and swimming with her older brother who they tend to have a lot of contests growing up mostly he won but she happy that her teach her self defense, you again surprised and jokingly said "I bet his girlfriend enjoyed him." Which she replies that he is single and in the Navy because in her family most of them always in the navy or the air force, you nodded understand, she look the shelter and told you to wait here, she ran off to the main office while you waited, you look at your children who finally fell asleep on your sides, you looked to the woman with the owner of the shelter, as they came the owner ask that you can stay with the woman for a place to stay and a place where your children can stay safe and secure, you first hesitate for a bit but decided that make better then staying here, so you said yes to the owner and the owner said to you that the woman told your story and understood why the kids couldn't stop crying because of her, you most forget about that, you told her about and she "I work with children who have hard time separate from their parents at daycare luckily I always in up cheering most of the time." You chuckled a little, soon you and your children already out the shelter, your new friend drive you to her parent's house for five hour also stop to get food for the week and stop at fast food restaurant for your children to eat, you still scared that your Ex husband make hurt you but you knew you needed to have an life for you and your children, this time there no going back for once and for all.* Again, sorry for this, I'm not sure if this good or not but again sorry I'm very good to tell stories about abusive relationships or how the victims get out of with new friend or not.

@@leiajiang7877 You're comment just seems negative and demeaning to woman tbh.

Like, so what if they can't fight back? It's hard! A mental and physical battle. Stop projecting your issues. This was a great movie but not because the main lead wasn't as weak as other female leads.

It was her sister, but yeah. I was like "You dumb bitch".

Yup. I picked up my brother from an abusive relationship. I told him , I come to your place. You get your stuff, we go. Instead, I picked him up and we left an hour later. SMH.

I tend to think the invisible man is a metaphor for trauma. The therapists pointed this out at the beginning: the Invisible Man only appears when Adrian "dies" - he is only real to Cecilia for most of the film. First, he follows her, stalks her, hurts her, and ultimately he hurts those around her and destroys her relationships - that's what trauma does too. In the end, Cecilia "owns" her trauma (dawning the invisible suit) and uses it to rid herself of Adrian once and for all.

@@realSimoneCherie that's very good either. Loved it.

Yeah, it's really smart how it mixes in real-life horror and fantastical scares.

Me too

Thank you so much for the suggestions, Fae! We'll look into them :) So glad you're enjoying what we're doing. Many more to come. Please invite your friends to the party!

Yes! I love "A Silent Voice"

Anime movies! Yes! My favorites, of course, are from Studio Ghibli. There should be lots of material they can work with there.

@@CinemaTherapyShow Yes, definitely a silent voice. It is different from what you normally do, but a lot have people have seen it and can relate to it. I can personally relate because I do get suicidal and sometimes it feels like you just don't want to exist but when you find someone who can help you though it it can make it easier. Of course i could be wrong that's just how it is with me.

"A Silent Voice" is incredible and an excellent psychological study in different characters and their motivations.

Do not fall for the , getting you back with food thing.

Glad he's an ex. Hope you are finding happiness now.

I hope you are safe

Mine too. But I’ve not watched this movie on purpose lol

For me it wasn't a boyfriend, it was my father and to this day I still have flashbacks to all the abuse and pain he's caused me

Hugs

I hope you're safe, and that you get out okay.

I hope you're now far away and healing 💚

I didn’t, and wouldn’t see the movie but that would get me as well. I love someone with cptsd and this was a reminder that the tension doesn’t go away, or at least won’t for a long time, years more, because even young people with narcissistic tendencies can break down the belief that in another kid that her life is safe and she’s not a terrible person. Thanks @Cinema Therapy. Really. though this is terrifying which is why I wouldn’t actually watch it.

Exactly. First two weeks is the most dangerous.

Why?

It's not a gender specific thing.

Yes.

@@blue-sq7tj how fucking belittling, you sound exactly like the people who tried to mock me when I talked out about my abusive ex.

@@blue-sq7tj just ignore the unreported cases why don't you.

i hope you feel happy and safe and free without him. please know that if he's still alive/close to your family that you aren't obligated to go back to him ever. you are justified in your decision of leaving.