I hope this helps someone out there. Love you all. All poems, vids and novels: www.ClaytonJennings.com Have I been able to help you? Support my channel here: app.moonclerk.com/pay/2qswhhel8db9 Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/3HM2KNmxuQ4SS3A3sI5Lez Apple Music: music.apple.com/us/artist/clayton-jennings/1494243865 Amazon Music: tinyurl.com/y5u4hxc3 Instagram: instagram.com/claytonjennings1/

Whose here with me 2024 ?.

Schools should really start talking about depression and anxiety, not only bullying because sometimes we bring ourselves down, not others.. 😕

Man... When he says, "I'm good thank you" and walks out.... That was perfectly depicted with how anxiety is.. Everything he wanted too and needed to say... But instead chose to bottle it all up because he felt he didn't have a choice.. anxiety PERFECTLY explained.

Anyone reading this. You have purpose you are here for a reason. Don't give up, stay. We need you here.

“I’m an actor who got really good at being on today” that hit deep

some ppl don't under depression and having anxiety when u try to look for help they say that you are seeking attention but deep down you are drowning, you really need their help not their judgments

It’s crazy how much I come back to this 😢 this is so relatable

I've turned back to God because of this video . Today is my first day giving up alcohol. I'm depending on Him to get me through this. Thanks man for this video, you're truly helping people ❤

The loneliest people are the KINDNESSES The saddest people are the BRIGHTEST Alll because they don't wish to see anyone else suffer the way they did

He needs to collab with NF

“But everything I really am is what I didn’t want to be” Took the air from me….

I'm 29 and I stutter. I can out work, out smart anyone in my career. Every time I hear this, I break down crying 20-30 seconds in. Religions not my cup of tea, but the message hits hard.

mom- whats the matter me- *smiles* nothing *thinking* don't cry, don't cry

" anxiety is not an item that can return at the store "

As a retired US Army soldier of 21 years. I turned all of my anxiety, concerns and inner demons over to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior in your heart and soul and the Holy Spirit will live inside you, he will be your counselor, guide and comforter. Praise God and Hallelujah

I just sat down next to my teenage daughter & had her listen to this... as you spoke I looked at her beautiful face and she was wiping away her tears. My beautiful girl suffers from severe anxiety - I feel partially responsible as my daughter doesn't remember me not having cancer - I am blessed by God above to still be here today, but that doesn't take her hurt or her fear away. I just wanted to say Thank You Clayton for having such a positive impact on so many lives today♡. All my thanks & love to you & your beautiful family♡.

2.5 million views but only 486k subscribers. You're helping more people than you know, Clayton. Thank you.

The NF of Spoken Word

The message in this is the ending, so many times people that deal with anxiety have so much they want/need to say. In private we feel strong, and talk our selves up. Then when we come face to face with it, we just can not bring ourselves to say it. Anxiety took 40 years of my life away. I am more free now then i ever have been. That said it is still a choice i have to keep making. Those voices are still there still putting me down, but i keep reminding myself of how good it feels.

Anyone just forget about this video for so long, then remember how good it is and come back when feeling stressed and anxious, such a great spoken word!

I wake up, puddle of sweat. I have nightmares and I get back into bed. It’s like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head. And I can’t keep them to leave me alone, thirty years old but still hates being alone when I’m home. Because that’s when the voices get the loudest. Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest. But these demons keep pressing me, I swear to the foulest. But I’ve grown comfortable with their presence, my conscious is coulees. My dreams are their playground, my thoughts are their palace. I’ve tried to evict them, they returned with more. Anxiety isn’t an item you can return at the store. I was ten the first time I had an panic attack. Like a punch to the stomach there is no planning for that. And I didn’t tell anyone because I was too scared about what they’d say. And I know deep down there was nothing they could do to take it away. It was my fight to fight and my battle to face. I remember that house I grew up in an how these demons would rattle that place. I’d lay awake at night staring at the ceiling. I’ve spend my whole life trying to run from that feeling. That feeling of being lonely, that feeling of being lost, that feeling of being lost when the lights turn off. That feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious. The feeling of screaming to god begging him to take this. Only to get silence in return. I’d lay In that bed crying and I toss and I turn. And I turn and I toss till this day. The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray. I tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away. So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today. I’m an actor who got really good at being on today. But when I turn off I go right back into the shadows. I’m at the deep end now but I started in the shallows. And I might just drown myself in these waves. So burn me in hell, these homes are all graves. Everyone is coping with something but won’t admit that they all too afraid. And these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say. If I’m honest with them, maybe they wont think highly of me. Everything they want me to be is what I’m dying to be. But everything I really am, is what I’m not trying to be. I want them to know they not alone In their struggles. I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles. And I don’t think I’ll ever get out of this valley. I’m in terrified that all along god is telling my sins. And if he has the number must be astronomic. My life is a joke and you keep reading just past the comic. Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth. I wish I could open up to you and just let loose. But my vocal cords get thight when the devil pulls on this news. And then I’m back at keeping everything bottled up inside. But he’s not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time. He’s not gonna keep me trapped like this. I can’t get out of bed, I was never meant to act like this. I’m packing up my backs and he can’t stop me from running fast like this. I’m not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety. I’m showing the devil back for every time that he lied to me. And I’m taking a belt to this demons who whisper to spear my ear. And I’m ignoring every nay-sayer who stands and stares when I’m near. I’m moving forward out of this slum. I took my bruises I took my lumps. I felt down but I got right back up. So give me a torch and just light that up. I’m sending fire to the devil and I’m dousing these demons in gasoline. Look at you now. Now you not laughing at me. Now who’s the one being tortured and plunked. Now who’s the one closing every door that I want. Now who’s the one watching the other burn to the ground. Don’t look away from me, you better turn back around. I’m not done talking to you now. I’m watching you moves. I’m on your back and I’m stalking you too. And when you try to ruin some other kids life I’ll be stopping you too. You took thirty years of my life, and I can’t get that back. You told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that. You took me down but I bounced right back. I was lost then but I got found like that. Everything you told me I wasn’t, someone new told me I was. And everything you hated in me, someone new told me he loved. And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety. He reached in and placed hope deep inside of me. So I’m done listening to you and let you control me. I’m announcing now that the devil can’t hold me. I’m walking away from the old me, and I’m demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me. You knew I would find a way out sooner or later. And I found my escape in the form of a savior.

The ending really hits cuz thats what everyone says when their asked "are u ok" "yeah I'm fine"

This honestly made me break down when I heard it 1st time. He said every feeling and emotion I can't. Masterpiece.

This was totally my journey exactly except I was 34 when diagnosed with severe panic disorder. Took 3 years of facing my fears, learning to shut off the cacophony and learning to hear God’s spoken words directly to me. He speaks a better word. Perfect Love cast out my fears. I’m 52 now and 15 years anxiety feee. ❤ love your music so encouraging

He just explained my whole life in 6 mins

The happiest of people are usually the saddest.

I love the fact that he referenced God and our saviour Jesus as his ticket out from anxiety. This piece is such an inspiration and an eye opener to the limitless potentials of God to touch and change ANYONE. keep repping Jesus man 👍

"You took thirty years of my life and I can't get that back, you told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that" - Clayton Jennings This verse hit me hard

It’s scary how a smile and a “just tired” can get people to think your fine... I’m not I don’t think I ever will be fine but as far as you know and care I am, as long as I’m doing fine I’m school and am not bothering anyone, I’m okay, no matter how much I’m struggling.. To those reading in the comments I know why your here you feel like your giving up, your scared and have no one to go to but someday things may get better we will find someone to help us, maybe one day we’ll actually be fine... Edit: I never even knew about the reply’s and likes, for one I’m so sorry to everyone who can relate to what I was and still do feel from time to time. I wish I could take that away. But I’m here to tell you it does get easier, as cliche as it sounds, I know it does, it does, maybe not entirely, I’m still waiting for that but those moments when we wish we could smile and genuinely mean it, they do come, and I won’t lie saying that there won’t be bad days, because unfortunately there always will be. I’m simply here to say, just wait, there’s so many things to look forward to, that one song that you’ll cherish forever. The movie you’ll have on repeat. The memories of watching sunsets. The KZfaq videos you’ll never get to see. The books you’ll never get to read. The people you’ll never get to meet. You will meet people who will accept you for everything you are, and when you do, it will be magical you just need to be there to see it. We both do, so please hold on, let’s take a trip, till the shampoo and conditioner run out at the same time, we’ve already made it to the moon. It was hard I know, but how about we go to Pluto it must be so lonely out there, we’ll make it together. How does that sound. Please hold one, so we can both have those good days, where we can really smile.

“30 years old but still hates being alone when im home because thats when the voices get the loudests” 😞💔 Me: 100%

Oh man… this hits hard. It’s so hard to express the feelings, the pain, that comes along with depression. It’s so much more than just being sad…

This is such a powerful video, I've been fighting anxiety and depression for about 24 years and it just gets worse as the years go by. I'm hoping someday I'll be able to figure out how to feel normal again but when there's no one to talk to and relationships don't last it feels like there's no where to turn

Dear Anxiety/Spoken Word I wake up, puddle of sweat, I have nightmares and I get back into bed. It’s like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head and I can’t get them to leave me alone. 30 years old but still hates being alone when I’m home. Because that’s when the voices get the loudest. Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest, but these demons keep pressing me, I swear their the foulest. But I’ve grown comfortable with their presence, my conscious is calloused, my dreams are their playground my thoughts are their palace. I tried to evict them, they return with more. Anxiety isn’t an item you can return at the store. I was 10 the first time I had a panic attack, like a punch to the stomach, there’s no planning for that. and I didn’t tell anyone because I was too scared about what they’d say and I know deep down there was nothing they could do to take it away. It was my fight to fight, and my battle to face. I remember that house I grew up in and how those demons would rattle that place. I’d lay in my bed awake at night just starring at the ceiling. I’ve spent my whole life trying to run from that feeling; that feeling of being lonely, that feeling of being lost, that feeling of being sick when the lights turn off, that feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious, that feeling of screaming to god begging him to take this, only to get silence in return. I lay in that bed crying and I’d toss and I’d turn, and I turn and toss till this day. The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray. I’ve tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away. So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today, I’m an actor who got really good at being on today, but when I turn off I go right back into the shadows. I’m in the deep end now, but I started in the shallows. And I might just drown myself in these waves. Suburban hell these homes are all graves, everyone’s coping with something but won’t admit it their all too afraid, and these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say? If I’m honest maybe they wont think highly of me. Everything they want me to be, is what I’m dying to be. But everything I really am is what I’m not trying to be. I want them to know they are not alone in their struggles. I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles. and I don’t think I’ll ever get out of this valley I’m in, terrified that all along god has tallied my sins, and if he has, the number must be astronomic. My life is a joke, and you keep reading, just pass the comic, Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth. I wish I could open up to you and just let loose, but my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this noose and then I’m back to keeping everything bottled up inside. But he’s not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time. He’s not gonna keep me trapped like this. I can’t get outta bed, I was never made to act like this. I’m packing up my bags and he can’t stop me from running fast like this. I’m not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety. I’m shoving the devil back for every time that he lied to me, and taking a belt to these demons who whispered despair in my ear, and I’m ignoring everyone neigh sayer who stands and stares when I’m near. I’m moving forward out of this slump; I took my bruises, I took my lumps. I fell down but I got right back up, so give me a torch and lets light that up. I’m setting fire to the devil and I’m dousing these demons in gasoline. Look at you, now you’re not laughing at me, now who’s the one who’s being tortured and punked. Now who’s the one closing every door that I want, now who’s the one watching the other burn to the ground. Don’t look away from me, you better turn back around! I’m not done talking to you! Now I’m watching your moves, I’m on your back and I’m stalking you to, and when you try to ruin some other kids life, I’ll be stopping you too. You took 30 years of my life, and I can’t get that back, you told me to end my life, and I nearly got killed for that! You took me down but I bounced right back. I was lost then I got found like that. And everything you told me I wasn’t, someone new told me i was and everything you hated in me someone new told me he loves. And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety, he reached in and placed hope deep inside of me. So I’m done listening to you and letting you control me, I'm announcing it now that the devil can’t hold me, I’m walking away from the old me and I’m demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me. You knew I’d find a way out sooner or later. And I found my escape in the form of a savior. ~Clayton Jennings

I cried! I suffer from anxiety every day is a battle. Thank you Clayton for your beautiful powerful poetry. God bless you 🙏

Dear god I have never heard this before and I’m speechless there no words for how hard this just hit and brought me to tears this is absolutely insane of a song just this song just found a home on my playlist forever

Absolutely incredible! This is truly how it feels for me every time I try and open up to someone and I get discarded, devalued and dismissed. It's hard enough to try and share your inner demons with another but as soon as it is met with contempt, annoyance and condescension, it does more harm than people even realize.

NF and you should really do something together!

“The doctors gave me medication and the pastors said pray I tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away so forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today.” Felt this heavy

Took 30 years of my life and I can't get that back God I felt that deeply down in my chest 😢

Love this. I've been fighting anxiety and panic attacks for over 20 years and still I struggle but through the years I've learned manage it better. I've turned to God to overcome it ,I've also turned to drugs to mask it. I don't have a perfect solution but what I can say is this , drugs only made the anxiety worse in the end ,Christ however has been by my side through it all and gave me the strength to push through and never give up. I truly believe I will one day be completely free of the Anxiety that affects so many. God Bless

Who else wants to tell him "Thank u for making this"? 👍🏼👍🏼💯💯🔥🔥💙💙💙

"Screaming to god begging him to take this only to get silence in return"wow I felt that!

I rememeber so vividly finding this around when it came out at one of my lowest points, and hearing every word perfectly describing every single feeling in my body and every single feeling piled on top of me. I remember laying in my bed and just listening because I was so exhausted to even keep my eyes open to watch the video. These videos and these words saved me, they gave me the break I needed and something to hear. It kept me from simply giving into myself and letting it all drown me. I dont think Id be where I am, working and moving forward if these words weren't spoken. I may not have the same beliefs, but I was saved in a way. Coming back to this, it makes me feel stronger years later. Thank you

I needed this!! The lord never lets his flock wander too far, he always knows how to bring them home

Everyone who fights depression and anxiety like me , We are a huge Family and we can get through this together. NEVER GIVE UP

I wake up, puddle of sweat I have nightmares, and I get back into bed It's like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head And I can’t get them to leave me alone Thirty-years old but still hates being alone when I'm home Because that's when the voices get the loudest Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest But these demons keep pressin’ me, I swear they're the foulest But I've grown comfortable with their presence, my conscious is calloused My dreams are their playground, my thoughts are their palace I tried to evict them, they returned with more Anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store I was 10 the first time I had a panic attack Like a punch to the stomach, there's no planning for that And I didn't tell anyone because I was too scared about what they'd say And I knew deep down that there was nothing they could do to take it away It was my fight to fight and my battle to face I remember that house I grew up in and how those demons would rattle that place I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling I’ve spent my whole life trying to run from that feeling That feeling of being lonely, that feeling of being lost That feeling of being sick when the lights turn off That feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious That feeling of screaming to God begging Him to take this Only to get silence in return I’d lay in that bed crying, and I'd toss and I’d turn And I turn and I toss to this day The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray I tried both, and this anxiety still hasn't gone away So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today I'm an actor who got really good at being on today But when I turn off, I go right back into the shadows I'm in the deep-end now, but I started in the shallows And I might just drown myself in these waves Suburbian hell, these homes are all graves Everyone’s coping with something but won't admit it, they're all too afraid And these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say? If I'm honest with them, maybe they won't think highly of me Everything they want me to be is what I'm dying to be But everything I really am is what I'm not trying to be I want them to know that they're not alone in their struggles I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles And I don't ever think I'll get out of this valley I'm in Terrified that all along God has tallied my sins And if He has, the number must be astronomic My life is a joke, and you keep reading, just pass the comic Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth I wish I could open up to you and just let loose But my vocal cords get tight when the Devil pulls on this noose And then I'm back to keeping everything bottled up inside But he's not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time He's not gonna keep me trapped like this I can't get out of bed, I was never made to act like this I'm packing up my bags, and he can't stop me from running fast like this I'm not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety I'm shoving the Devil back for every time that he lied to me And I'm taking a belt to these demons who whisper despair in my ear And I'm ignoring every naysayer who stands and stares when I'm near I'm moving forward out of this slump I took my bruises, I took my lumps I fell down, but I got right back up So give me a torch, and let's light that up I'm setting fire to the Devil, and I'm dousing these demons in gasoline Look at you now, now you're not laughing at me Now who's the one who's being tortured and punked? Now who's the one closing every door that I want? Now who's the one watching the other burn the ground? Don't look away from me, you better turn back around I'm not done talking to you now I'm watching your moves I'm on your back, and I'm stalking you, too And when you try to ruin some other kid's life, I'll be stoppin' you, too You took thirty years of my life, and I can't get that back You told me to end my life, and I nearly got killed for that You took me down, but I bounced right back I was lost then, and I got found like that And everything you told me I wasn't someone new told me I was And everything you hated in me someone new told me He loves And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety He reached in and placed hope deep inside of me So I'm done listening to you and letting you control me I'm announcing it now that the Devil can't hold me I'm walking away from the old me And I'm demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me You knew I'd find a way out sooner or later And I found my escape in the form of a Savior

This is art! Absolutely incredible. Showing him walking in. And the last piece is genius!! It hurts to know others feel like this but also reminding me we’re not alone. ❤ hugs to anyone who gets this.

If anyone ever cared/wondered how I felt on a daily basis this song sums up perfectly what it is like to have an illness

I’m an actor that got really good at being on today. That, that’s the truth for so many of us

As someone who struggles with generalized anxiety disorder and clinical depression, this was one of the most powerful videos I've seen in a long, long time. Thank you.

My younger self back in 2019 had seen this video and I had commented on it about how I pray I become stronger and how I hope my mom would be nicer to me and not show so much hate… 5 years later she is still the same I am a junior in high school that have been doing well and I hope I am making my younger self much happier. I love you man your strong…

I'm 17 years old, I've been listening to you for longer then I know. I struggle with really bad panic attacks. I collapse to the floor. It hurts to breathe. My throat closing up. I cant stop them, so I lay on the floor crying beacuse i cant breathe. I wish I could not have them. I missed a whole month of class beacuse I thought everyone hated me. I couldnt go to class beacuse id cry so much. You've helped me figure out how to help me. Thank you.

Excuse me for fantasizing about being gone today

“To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering”

my anxiety imprisoned me for years, i’ve just accepted it.. but youtube been recommending me videos like these and it made me realize i could actually live, i just have to make that effort. i’m on a journey to the life i dream about. i’m so grateful for content creators like this, thank you for making me remember i can take control of my life, thank you for making me realize i’m not alone.

You literally saved my life I watched your daily bible reading

Social anxiety makes me feel like a weirdo. I look at normal people talking and laughing and I’m just like I wish I could... maybe... never. Everytime I talk to someone I sweat and stumble on my words, can’t make eye contact.

wake up, puddle of sweat I have nightmares when I get back into bed It's like these voices just keep playing on repeat In the back of my head And I can't get them to leave me alone 30 years old but still hates being alone when I'm home Because that's when the voices get the loudest Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest But these demons keep pressing me I swear they're the foulest But I've grown comfortable with their presence My conscious is calloused My dreams are their playground My thoughts are their palace I try to evict them, they return with more Anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store I was ten the first time I had a panic attack Like a punch to the stomach, there's no planning for that And I didn't tell anyone Because I was too scared about what they'd say And I know deep down there was nothing They could do to take it away It was my fight to fight and my battle to face I remember that house I grew up in And how those demons would rattle that place I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling I've spent my whole life trying to run away from that feeling That feeling of being lonely That feeling of being lost That feeling of being sick when the lights turn off That feeling of being depressed That feeling of being anxious That feeling of screaming to God Begging him to take this Only to get silence in return I'd lay in that bed crying and I'd toss and I'd turn And I turn and I toss to this day The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray I tried both and this anxiety still hasn't gone away So forgive me if I fantasise about being gone today I'm an actor who got really good at being on today But when I turn off I go right back into the shadows I'm in the deep end now but I started in the shallows And I might just drown myself in these waves Suburban hell, these homes are all graves Everyone's coping with something but won't admit it They're all too afraid And these kids are glued to watching me what do I say? If I'm honest with them maybe they won't think highly of me Everything they want me to be is what I'm dying to be But everything I really am is what I'm not trying to be I want them to know that they're not alone in their struggles I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles And I don't think I'll ever get out of this valley I'm in Terrified that all along God has tallied my sins And if he has the number must be astronomic My life is a joke and you keep reading Just pass the comic Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth I wish I could open up to you and just let loose But my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this noose And them I'm back to keeping everything bottled up inside But he's not going to keep me from pulling The throttle back this time He's not going to keep me trapped like this I can't get out of bed I was never meant to act like this I packin' up my bags and he can't stop me From running fast like this I'm not going to be a slave to these voices of anxiety I'm shoving the devil back for every time that he lied to me And I'm taking a bell to these demons Who whispered despair in my ear And I'm ignoring every naysayer Who stands and stares when I'm near I'm moving forward out of this slump I took my bruises, I took my lumps I fell down but I got right back up So give me a torch and lets light that up I'm setting fire to the devil and I'm dousing these demons in gasoline Look at you now, now you're not laughing at me Now whose the one whose being tortured and poked Now whose the one closing every door that I want Now whose the one watching the other burn to the ground Don't look away from me you better turn back around I'm not done talking to you now I'm watching your moves, I'm on your back And I'm stalking you too And when you try to ruin some other kid's life I'll be stopping you too You took thirty years of my life and I can't get that back You told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that You took me down but I bounced right back I was lost and I got found like that And everything you told me I wasn't Someone new told me I was And everything you hated in me Someone new told me He loves And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety He reached in and placed hope deep inside of me So I'm done listening to you and letting you control me I'm announcing it now that the devil can't hold me I'm walking away from the old me And I'm demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me You knew I'd find a way out sooner or later And I found my escape in the form of a saviour

You just made me cry! Boy can I relate! No need for words, I hear you.

Oct 2023 anyone? , always my reset song, when i fill up with so much emotion it just has to let go, I cry and cry listening to this song until I'm out of tears, building my self back up again and again, it's worth it, 28 years old now when I thought I'd never make it past 23, as that was the first time I thought su***de as the only way, but this song stopped me when it came out and I figured out my way to restart my brain and try again.

"I am 30yrs old and i still hate being alone by myself" ... Yea you're talking to someone that knows

This brought tears to my eyes

"I'm in the deep end now, but I started in the shallows." That part always gets me, I've been listening to this for years now. This has been my main inspiration to write my own poems about how anxiety and insecurities feel. I love this so much 💛

Honestly feel like this one hits home so hard that you just dive right into the song and relive all those little bits but at the same time where it makes you reliving it all so makes you remember that you're not alone

Anxiety and depression it's real and if you haven't been through it please don't judge me, pray for me!

My favorite part of this video is the end where he actually didn’t say anything. That’s what really happens. We stay silent. We’re afraid. It’s scary to be vulnerable, but vulnerability brings strength

The beat part of this whole thing is how at the end he didn't really say any of the things he wanted to and that's what makes this so real. Thank you Clayton for using your gift to give us somewhere to go and not feel so alone. ❤

4 years ago I was 9th grade I seen this video and honestly it hit hard cuz every word had hard meaning and at the time anxiety was my biggest issue I'm 20 years now and still anxiety hits me medicine dose nothing I needed someone in my life and my gf has been pulling out of my own grave

People assume that if they see you looking unwell your probably sick. People don’t realise that you can have a smile on your face, but be so lonely and lost inside 💙

“And I found my escape through the form of a savior “

I start crying when he finishes and kneels

I’ve never had someone be able to put into words exactly how I’m feeling. This was it. I broke down into tears after the first sentence. This topic isn’t talked about enough in our society but it needs to be. This is what needs to be talked about in schools. I hope that I can help as many people who are struggling as this man has. Thank you

That is a perfect line: You told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that. I love the end of this, it's a perfect rendition of anxiety.....all he said was in his head and anyone with anxiety knows that this is exactly how it works

Dear Anxiety/ Spoken Word I wake up in a puddle of sweat, I have nightmares and I get back into bed, its like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head and I can't get them to leave me alone. 30 years old but still hates being alone when I'm home, Because thats when the voices get the loudest. Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest, but these demons keep pressing me I swear their the foulest. But ive grown comfortable with their presence my conscious is callist, my dreams are their playground my thoughts are their palace. I tried to evict them they return with more, anxiety isnt a item you can return at a store. I was 10 the first time I had a panic attack, like a punch to the stomach there's no planning for that. I didnt tell anyone because I was to scared about what they'd say and I knew deep down there was nothing that could take it away. It was my fight to fight and my battle to face. I remember that house I grew up in and how these demons would rattle that place. I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling. I've spent my whole life trying to run from that feeling, that feeling of being lonely that feeling of being lost that feeling of being sick when the lights turn off that feeling of being depressed that feeling of being anxious that feeling of screaming to god begging to take this, only to get silence in return. I'd lay in that bed crying and I'd toss and id turn and turn and toss till this day. The doctors gave me medication the pastor said pray I've tried both and this anxiety hasn't gone away. So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today In am actor who got really good at being on today but when I turn off I got right back into the shadows. Im in the deep end now I started in the shallows and I might just drown myself in these waves. Suburban hell these homes are all graves everyones coping with something but won't admit it. Their all to afraid and these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say? If I'm honest maybe they wouldn't think highly of me. Everything they want me to be, is what I'm dying to be. But everything I really am is what im not trying to be. I want them to know they are not alone in their struggles. I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles. I don't think I'll ever get out of this valley I'm in, terrified that all along god has tallied my sins, and if he has the number must be astronomic. My life is a joke and you keep reading just pass the comic because everything you think that I am is far from the truth. I wish I could open up to you and just let loose, but my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this noose and then I'm back to keeping everything bottled up inside. But he's not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time, He's not gonna keep me trapped like this. I can't get outta bed, I was never made to act like this, I'm packing up my bags and he can't stop me from running fast like this. I'm not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety, I'm shoving the devil back for every time he lied to me, and I'm taking a belt to these demons who whispered dispare in my ear, and I'm ignoring everyone neighsayer who stands and stares when I'm near. I'm moving forward out of this slump I took my bruises I took my pumps. I fell down but I got right back up, so give me a torch and lets light that up. I'm setting fire to the devil and I'm dousing these demons in gasoline. Look at you now, now your not laighing at me, now who's the one whos being tourtured and punked, now who's the one closing every door that I want, now whos the one watching the other burn to the ground. Dont look away from me you better turn back around I'm not done talking to you. Now I'm watching your moves I'm on your back and I'm stalking you, and when you try to ruin some other kids life I'll be stopping you too. You took 31 years of my life and I can't get that back you told me to end my life, and I nearly got killed for that!. You took me down but I bounced right back. I was lost then I got found like that. And everything you told me I wasn't, someone new told me I was, and everything you hated in me someone new told me he loves, and when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety he reached in placed hope deep inside me. So I'm done listening to you and letting you control me, I'm announcing it now that the devil cant hold me, I'm walking away from the old me and I'm demanding a refund for every lie that you sold me you knew I'd find a way out sooner or later. And I found my escape in the form of a savior

30 years old and still hates being alone when I'm home... That hit deep.

I’m truly speechless! That has to be the most captivating thing I’ve ever heard! Truly Gods words. What a Blessing your words are! Thank you Clayton and God Bless all who are struggling!!

*_WHY DO I ALWAYS CRY WITH HIS VIDEOS?!_*

YOU SAVED MY LIFE MAN THANK YOU!!

This song saved my life. Put words to my pain and gave me the help i needed. I listen to this song a few dozen times a year. It gets better

Goosebumps. I hope youre ok Clayton. It's hard to struggle every day, even for someone with a platform such as yourself. I hope you're well my guy. Thank you for speaking what those that suffer wish they could say, giving us a voice when we don't have one. I wish whoever reading this gets through the struggle you're facing. You deserve to live and you deserve to thrive. Don't let your demons win. You can do this

For someone who has depression and anxiety .... I can fully relate with him...

It's crazy how many people come back to this everyday. This song is legendary 💕 2022 anyone??

Every time I hear this I feel like I have hope. The hope of actually winning this war. Hope of victory over depression and anxiety and all of the ugliness that comes with it. I live my life not for myself, but for other people, which is terribly sad. I don’t know how to love myself, I don’t know how to feel joy, I don’t know how to change the way i look at myself, I don’t know how to forgive myself, I don’t know how to make the noise stop, I don’t know how to drown out the silence, I don’t know how to feel peace, I don’t know how to extinguish the fire of chaos that is waging wars inside of me. I don’t know the right words to say, I don’t know when to be silent, I don’t know when to be loud. I don’t know how to not feel pain, I don’t know how to not feel numb. I don’t know anything, but I know everything. I just know that when I listen to this piece of art, I feel like I have a fighting chance, I feel like I have a direct line of communication to the savior Jesus Christ. He knows my heart, he knows me, the true me, the real me, the me that he loves, the me that he went to the cross for. He loves me. Just as he loves you all. Thank you Clayton for being obedient to Gods purpose for you. God bless you. Matthew 5:3 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

I don’t know you but I feel you. Sharing doesn’t help but helping other people does. We have to help each other. I give you mad respect for that song.

This gave me goosebumps. I can relate to this in so many ways... Very well portrayed.

I can’t help but cry, this touched the deep core of me. I hate anxiety I’ve always called it the beast inside me. It rattles in my rib cage & even though I’ve aged it still has some sort of hold on me. I’m battling PTSD & everyday I’m fighting to reach that bright place of recovery, I can honestly say anxiety has never ever really left me, but I pray that one day god will release these shackles from my feet & set me free. Thanks again Clayton you always shine the brightest light for those souls like me who are struggling to find hope in the dark x bless you x

Years ago you saved my life with your messages and videos….. I needed to come back here to help me with these new struggles! All I gotta say is thank you!

Clayton, man this hits my soul. Im 38 and have been dealing with almost the same stuff and share the same hurt from religion. You have been a big factor in my decision to seek Him out again. I know it's hard and I literally feel your pain through the words He has given you to speak. If it's any condolence to your burden, know that you have helped Him return another to the flock. Much live and respect sir. Maintain your light and may you continue to be a beacon and a vessel to do His good work . I pray for you and your family tonight. Your pain is not in vain and I am grateful for your courage.

ɪ ғᴇᴇʟ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʜᴇ sᴀʏs..

Your stuff really spoke to me... And now I always believe that God is there for me.... I'm 14 and I went to the hospital for a suicidal attempt.... I watched this video and it really spoke to me and u wanted to say thank you for that... You really helped me in life... And now I know that God is with me everywhere even when I sin... He's still there... Thank you

When I first heard this I broke down . I felt every word he was saying . Clayton , u have truly helped me thru some hard times thru ur poetry . Because of u I have gotten out of many dark phases no one knows about . Ur truly phenomenal and every thing u say is so spot on . I pray u continue to touch lives with ur words of testimony cause I know uve touched mine .

came here when I was in the darkest place and I felt it so much and now after 2 months I can say that it got better ,you are worth it , nothing stays forever just like pain.

I’m not the crying type at all. But watching this had tears rolling down my face because it’s crazy to hear someone else speaking of the same things that I deal with and feel everyday, so relatable. Keep it up man. Thank you, I needed this.

I just want to hug him to show him he's not alone 😢💔.

For the past 15 years I've been struggling. not a day goes by that I don't think about taking my life.the world needs more people like you.

My therapist asked me what my anxiety is like and I showed Him this video and it brought him to tears

"You took 30 years of my life and I can't get that back" hits me so hard.

Stunning... I grew up in Texas, Indiana, and Ohio and have no idea why I have never seen this. These are words of a courageous soul... I am remembering when the actor Chris Evans used to speak openly about anxiety and how his voice is so lost now.. I applaud this artist for sharing his story. Props. Mad respect. The world needs more of this.

This man’s Spoken Words help me through so much… ❤