I delete. I move on. I have been there, now I'm wiser. I never feed into breadcrumbing. Know your value ladies so you can attract available men. Its ALLL about OUR energy.

If you love yourself you will not put up with this behavior

If he's doing this, you are in the driver's seat. He is allowing you to take a real close look at what he has to offer, from a distance. Be objective and you will find the answer is that he has very little to offer you. No courage, no integrity, no determination, no strength ... and probably no real sex drive. You may even start looking at him as the weakest kind of woman dressed up as a man. The time between his here-and-there contact is a gift. Use that time to take stock of guys like this. Is this what you want? You deserve better.

One word: narcissist. Being alone is so much better than being used and manipulated. They breadcrumb, ghost, love bomb etc... Move on. I don't have the time, energy or interest in such people.

This was the sweet gentle loving message I needed to hear tonight. Some men are really insecure and are going through painful stuff. We can only love them where they are at and do whats best for ourselves. Never wait. Its hard not to take it personally especially when you have an anxious attachment style or abandonment issues. I played my part. I own that xx

I don't believe that a man can put anything before the woman he wants. If you are not a priority especially at the beginning stages. I don't see why a woman should worry much because he is showing you His True colors. Believe Him.

Make them taste from their own poison. Don't leave unless you are no longer interested, just make yourself unavailable. Do your own things, go out with friends, enjoy life. Soon you will find out your are healed. When finally they start showing you some affection, you may no longer be interested. Then you will know you are ready for something more healthy.

I agree that shy of a guy is rare. Unfortunately, the first kind - guys who have been hurt and have turned that into disdain for women - are very common 😔

This is *hands down* the best video I've seen on breadcrumbing. I really appreciate finally hearing something straightforward on this topic that calls out this behavior and the real reasons behind it.

How are you bread crumbing yourself? Whoa..... Accountability level 100%

Just run! Period

My biggest mistake thinking my ex & I would reconcile. He breadcrumbed me constantly now that I know what it means. He's in a relationship and still wants to see and be with me on the side. Hell no I told him. He made the choice to leave so stay over there

I’m a gay man but we also deal with this same shit. I’m done. I’ve given him my body exclusively but he still says go with the flow and also I saw tinder on his phone last weekend. I’m over being an option. This may hurt me but if I don’t let go now, I will keep playing his fool until he finally get tired of me and discards me.

Yes, I feel like I’m breadcrumbing in my marriage. 5 years in and my husband is “nice” but has no compassion for me and feelings. His happy because all of needs are being met the way he wants. He told me he chose not to open or telling me things, I was like what the hell we together. We have kids but I’m ready to leave, He is emotional unavailable to me and or kids. He is all about his damn self. He only call to talk about his day or what he likes, or who made him mad at work.

And also love yourself unconditional

the way I look at it if a guy is interested in you - you will know it - if the guy isn't texting, calling or messaging you, then move on - he's not into you at all - don't be his booty call or don't be his go to for advice gal either -

Claytons masculine energy is palpable ☺️ Great Video!

Thanks for this video. Just realized that I'm in a BREAD CRUMMING marriage OMG

Must man like this who treat women like that dont have a good connection with there mom

Thank you, really needed to hear this! He keeps trying to get me to take the lead since I've pulled my energy back, yet in the past has said he likes to work for things. This video has been a reminder that I need to continue to work on my own self love. Thank you and keep up the great work 🙏

Very useful information. Wish I'd known this before I met my ex. I had never been in a relationship with anyone who was emotionally unavailable/ breadcrumbing. I couldn't get my head round it as I had never came across someone who blew hot and cold like that. I really loved this man but the relationship wasn't going anywhere. I tried and tried but it was as though the universe had other ideas. I know he loved me too but he couldn't step up and be the man I hoped he could so I decided enough was enough and left. Maybe you are right. Maybe subconsciously I wasn't looking for someone who wanted commitment because I was separated from my husband who things ended badly with(we had been together for 21 yrs, so it's not as if I'd never been in a relationship before). Anyway, I'm on my own with my 3 beautiful kids and am happy and getting on with my life now ☺️ Thank you

Thank you Clayton. After 4 years in a volatile relationship with a dismissive avoidant/emotionally unavailable man, I walked away. I finally realized that Our relationship was remaining stagnant because his emotional withholding prevented us from a deepening connection & growth.

It truly is so hard when they don’t come across this way at first, and act super nice until you sleep together, *then* it all turns off and you see how emotionally distant he is.

Wow! You had me at "I'm Not Your Counselor"!!!!! Thank you, sir.

Great analogy, good advice. Very difficult to form a solid foundational couple, especially nowadays. Most people are having a hard time finding out who they really are, that alone trying to figure out somebody else's identity. Learning self love and validation is what's needed in most people, and owning oneself. Excepting that, and not waiting for an outsider to feel one's needs, can be extremely liberating. Love to all and, all to love 💛

He talked to another woman when we started off things. He will call her day & night but in the beginning he made room for me and reassured me so I thought there’s something to fight for. Until recently I told him I suffered from fibroids that prevented me to have a child. Even though I’m healthy now and I told him I can have children he all of a sudden stopped giving me attention. He now will only give me a good morning text, went from calling me a lot to only texts and litteraly making me look like the pursuer. He’s avoidant which is the opposite of his personality…Yesterday he started posting the woman all over again on his status. For me it’s a clear sign he choosed her.

Yeah need a therapist. Maybe I should just move on. Because its draining me a lot. I don't actually need him but I feel alone. I know I got a lot of internal issues and this is why I attracted this

Man like that dont want to put the work in please walk away

Yes!! I just realized last night before I saw this video the reason why I have been staying in this breadcrumbing situation is because I have been afraid to be in an actual relationship.

You speak very eloquently, thank you

Was celibate for 8 years..thought I had enough time to choose wisely. Finally let go and fell for someone who was such a little bitch and narassacist..I'm sad I fell for it and have up my "gift" and time to someone who didn't really want what I wanted to give even though they said they did.

I usually run so there's really no hard feelings. I know what I want and I'm in no hurry to settle.

Clayton, One of your videos popped up on my KZfaq feed today. I watched the first one,, went to the second one and went to a thhird!!! I truly believe in Divine Timing... today the Universe once again was sending me a gift ... and that was you. Grateful 🙏

Randomly came across this: not been an issue for me BUT I hadn't thought about it in relation to how I treat myself. I absolutely breadcrumb myself! Thanks for making that point.

I think you are absolutely right about me. I was in a very toxic marriage for 23 years and it took everything I had to escape and get free. Now the men I am attracted to are bread crumbing me. So I am the problem 😁 Thank you ❤️

It all comes down to how you treat yourself. Its okay to be single for a while and when love is ready for you it will show up eventually. When your single you will notice who is toxic and who isn't. Sometimes, it's not them it's you. Its important to change your mind set , because what you manifest does come into fruitation eventually. The universe watches how you treat yourself and others. What you put in ,is what you will receive back three times the charmed.

Declare what you want to the universe, unless you follow your statements up with changed behavior, nothing changes. The universe does not care what you declare.

You are empowering me to take my power back

I found this video in divine timing. Literally dealing with this right now. Thank you so much. I have the understanding and strength now to walk away. ✨🙌✨

You always do very good videos, thank you for it! What I am missing here is one of an important point of exlanation how and why breadcrumbing keeps someone in the loop: cause in the first phase some men are really attentive and seem loving, what we call "lovebombing", and in the next phase he breadcrumbs - for keeping others in the orbit.Thus is the key to the traumabond which unnoticeably arises. Persons (men or woman) who do that are toxic, but even if you recognise that it is not healthy, it is very difficult to overcome or ignore it, cause in you there is this bond to this person. (even you have no typical pattern of picking up persons who are unavailable!), it is like to be conditioned. You can find this kind of acting for example by people with NPD - narcissistic personality disorder - many are undiagnosed but you can detect them at their behaviours, but only in the long run. What I highley recommend is to slow down the getting-to-know-process to the point where it comes to intimate acts, cause than you have enough time to watch how this person will treat you in the long run. It works! And by the way: a person (man or woman) you breadcrumbs you, cause they want not to tell you that they are not that interessted in you, and cause the hope that YOU take action and go...sorry, this is neither friendly, mature or normal and so NOT begnigne! Thank you and best regards from Vienna/Austria :-)

Oh. My. God. This is so true. I am recovering from an 8 year abusive narcissistic marriage and I fell for someone impossible - long distance, no realistic future etc. Of course he breadcrumbed and was flakier than a croissant. But I was self sabotaging without realising it by picking the wrong guy to move on with, precisely because I am still traumatised by the abusive ex. Thank u. This was a truth I needed to hear.

This is truly my wake up call to knowing I did the right thing! Ty for this gift of empowerment!

This one guy is crushing on me but he says he works alot and only text me mornings and night then I wait 7+ hours for him to message me again...I think I'm going to drop him next time he messages me I'm going to ignore him I deserve better. 😊 Update - he texted me and I ignored him so he tried to talk to me on the other app I ignored him there to he doesn't have power over me 😊

i can’t believe this behavior still exists being that we are all adults. i’m very you g and itll scare me if i ever ran into a guy like this

BREADCRUMBING = you have a connection with a guy, but he's not clear, not progressing the relationship, and just throwing breadcrumbs of a meal at you. OPTIONS: 1. This guy is a sinister dude, who's just out to hurt you. ------ There are guys like that. You won't change him. Why are you trying to change somebody? Are you their therapist? If you're not having a mutual agreement, then step back and drop this connection completely. If you are continuing to dance with this energy you're asking for it. 2. He's not ready for the level of connection and consistency that you are. And he's just got other things going on and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. By breadcrumbing you he hopes you get the hint. Probably he just wants to have a casual connection with you, because somehow as a man he doesn't own it, because he sees it as kind of wrong, so it will come out in his behaviour, and he will just hope that you get along, without asking directly. 3. Maybe he just wants validation, or a connection with you, because he feels lonely. Maybe it's not malicious on his part. There is no agreement around what you really are. He's getting to know you very slowly, but haas no intention of progressing it. Doesn't feel like he's causing any harm, because that's the way he relates to people. He doesn't even think you're taking it personal. (Ignorane). You may let him know what the effect is on you, and by his response you will know who he really is. And hopefully get clear on wether he wants to move forward. 4. He's oblivious about your feelings and confused about how to take things forward. He's insecure and has low self-esteem. He is really afraid of rejection and is trying to get explicit green light from you that you want to see him more often. (Shy guy, with less of a social strength). You need to make up your mind if you want to be in a relationship with such a guy. ============================About YOU: If you are in such a dynamic, with many different men, and you start to think why it always has to be that way- then you may become resigned and bitter about the opposite sex and love in general. In that case you are encouraged to pause for a moment, and get in touch with the energy you're creating in your body, and if that's the kind of toxicity that you want to be fostering inside yourself. If that is the case you should take full responsability for your experience right now: If you have been breadcrumbed from guys - how are you (as the breadcrumbee) breadcrumbing yourself (how are you so consenting to/alowing/perpetuating this experience in your life?). Apparently on a conscious level you want a commited relationship, a guy who is going to step up, be loyal and commit. But why does this keep happening? It may be happening on an unconscious level then. Get curious: "Do you really want that?" Frequently, people who continually experience partners, who are dismissive, avoidant and breadcrumbing by nature, the breadcrumbees pick partners, that makes it look like they are trying, and that allow to not put any "skin in the game" (not have to intimate and take a risk by exposing yourself). Perhaps they were hurt in the past and this is some sort of protection from getting intimate and hurt. Ask yourself: "What is that protecting you from?" That may not be what is the situation for you, but it makes sense to consider this option. Also, if you have experienced breadcrumbing over and over again, then maybe you being single right now and not actually being in relationship, actually serves your highest good. If you were really hurt, and were dating someone very dominated or controlliing, who has compromised your trust for a relationship, it took all your strength, then you may well pick up breadcrumbers (people avoidant or available for connection), because it is way safer then ending uop with a controller, that makes you feel trapped. You will keep your distance, so that you can heal your heart and get your sovereignty back. And only then the right potential partners start to show up for you, that are available for a connection. Both scenarios: they bring your power back. The universe is creating a scenario to protect you, and heal you from a past hurt. You might also hire a coach/therapist to help you reframe certain things. On the other hand: maybe you are just not really wanting what you say that you want. There is a certain fear that you will need to overcome and some risk that you will have to take to be fully seen by a guy. You can trust that. Or be fed up with unavailable guys, clear them out of your life ccmpletely. So that you create space for sth different. You will turn down sth that is not a 10 out of 10. And trust that what you do want will then come into your life. If you see a guy who is great, but missing commitment, if you say YES to that, you will continue to get that. Many women were scared to let go of these guys, because of fearing to have nothing. That takes guts, it takes courage. But is very powerful.

Thank you for the video. Just cut out a bread crummer today. I will be alone but also ready for the main course so... Bring it on.

Wish I had heard thismany years ago before settling for a breadcrumber who has never been able to give me what I needed

Went you meet these people run far

I very much value your honesty and excellent insight! You’re fabulous!

Wow! What you said in 8:45! Can you please explore this subject a bit more? That's exactly what's happening to me

You described it exactly...it's hurt to not have him calling

How to recognise that if it's happening in a long distance relationship would be useful. Thanks for the insightful video.

Hahaha you're fun and smart really appreciate your support for us...people shouldn't treat others badly because you never know down the line in the future when you'll meet again..that first impression is so important..we don't realize that..thanks for your time Clayton you are a rock..I mean well right

there are so many videos on this subject and this is one of my favorites. Soo true, such good points. Seriously, music to my ears..

Just subscribed! Really needed to hear this. So, so glad it came across my youtube feed and I saw it. Thank you 🙏

I finally let him know where I stood. I got no answer back. What does that mean. What kind of person never answers back?

Thank you so much for this I have currently realized that even though I meant the one person that's right for me bad timing on our part causes a lot of problems and now going through all of the issues with myself it has been very healing to take responsibility for my actions see things from another perspective and try and correct them sometimes doing that on your own can be very confusing but I am working through it in a healthy and positive manner it's good to know that there is someone out there who can give an open honest perspective on what we need to change and how to go about it thank you again

Sometimes it takes a minute to see if they will breadcrumb. And it is confusing when they start off Not breadcrumbjng and pull away and bringing it up is also a no no so the fact men have to have all these fears in commitment and brjng open with themselves turns today’s day of dating to marriage a mixed back of what am I gonna get next it is true that today’s era has accepted much less in the area of marriage versus many short term relationships

Best video so far! "What is breadcrumbing protecting you from?" Wow. Thanks again, Clayton

Excellent insight. You’re fabulous!!

well , why cant he just come out and say they only want to keep it causal, and why would they push me to commit and than close off don't make sense i was fine with causal !!!

Thanks Clayton. This is true...it takes 2 to have a lousy relationship. In my case, I am as avoidant as the men that come in (and out) of my life. I have this funny hope that we can be avoidant together! My issue is that I do not like being a wife, or living together. I feel trapped.

Great video Clayton, It always takes two to tango!

what if its both true that theres both fear and risk to be seen and meeting emotionally unavailable men that dont show up as you wish. spiritually this is the consequence of the fear and risk to be seen fully. how do you overcome that?

I felt like you were talking directly to me! Thank you :)

Amazing video. Spot on. Beautiful. Empowering. Thank you so much for sharing.

Excellent way of putting both positive and negative points into perspective. Thank you for this video.

Or he could be a widower who's wife died 3 months ago, and he doesn't know how to date or commit yet.

I've never met anyone I wanted to change. Yet I don't just don't date just anyone either. I've found I've learned a lot from others. That's cool !!

I think I was "bread crumbed" way back before cell phones existed. He actually was still emotionally connected to his girlfriend (who was a friend of mine) They'd lived together, but split up and I hung out with him, it became physical, but as Clayton said "he popped in and out of my life," not even over weeks or months, but years....I stayed perpetually alone, and believe I've stayed single because I had "trauma" from this guy. I don't want to go into more detail, but I've never felt confident or secure in myself as a woman so now, I simply stay away from relationships. I feel very sad because I think I have anger and bitterness toward men, which I don't mean to put on anyone, but I think I must put my "story" on any man :( It really sucks!

Very insightful -thank-you.I am simply more solid on my own.People are all confused about love, I am not and waiting for change in others is stupid and I am tired of my own stupidity.I changed thank God ,Lol - you cheered me up ,not that I am sad just tired of being a Gretel crumb munching slave.Running off the plantation like little Miss Gump....vvvooooosh!!!!

Such a smart man you are! The way you talk is the way us delusional women need from a real man. LOL ♥️♥️♥️💕💕🥰

This spoke straight to my soul, especially the part about still healing from past hurt. I never considered that before

Don't get settle for crumb because it will not change

Ding Ding Ding !!!🛎👍that was empowering!!,,,, thank you Mr.Olsen !👍👍👍👍👍

Know what you wanted no bad behavior will accepting because this will not changed

Wow! I really listened and ACTUALLY putting things in place, just as you've said. I cut him OUT. YOU got a new subbie

I really appreciate the honesty in this video.

Fantastic video Clayton, thank you so much. You have answered a lot of undefined questions I had in my head about men who have been breadcrumbing me as well as myself as a breacrumbee. I did the breakup and I love the idea that this is the first step to declaring what I want to the Universe and that I am ready for a committed relationship

I don't even know why i'm hurt, he has no job, doesn't seem to want one and is an alcoholic, who basically just wants to hang out with his friends all day. I guess the thing is he was there when I needed him for quite a while and very supportive. I guess I need to just get it, that its never gonna be that way again.

You hit the nail on the head! The universe brought me to this video!

Thank you so much, Clayton, you are so kind on a subject that is hard to want to delve intobit, and that makes all the difference ☀️

very painful to hear at places but is vital to face the truth!

Now your worth dont settle for crumb

Your honesty is so refreshing, Clayton!

They could be bisexual too. Confused and narcissistic, just say no, block and move on.

Thank you for the clarity in these scenarios. The generosity of your expertise is greatly appreciated.

Now I know why I'll just stay single too much work...

My ex breadcrumbed me after we broke up. I’m going to block him on his last way of contacting me

This is very good advice. Thank you.

Thankyou so much, i so needed to hear this!! I keep doing this!! "Enough is Enough"!! 🙏🙏

WOW, that psychology part 🙌 you were definitely speaking to me, thank you for your knowledge and insight!

Clayton! 🥰 you are so on point! Wow. I love your presentation and the education you gave me. Your delivery was stellar. Speaking in first person in regards to where he may be coming from and where I may be coming from really spoke to me. This video is life-changing! Thank you 😘🙏🏻

Curmb people keep them far from you

Oh that’s so funny that you said breadcrumbing. Because actually I was going to tell my friend that I m not loving myself if I accept the crumbs he gives me. Thinking there’s confusion on his part. He has a shy side to him. What makes this complicated is he’s so much younger then me. So much so that he’s friends with my children. He doesn’t care if anyone else knows about us, but he doesn’t want my sons to know. One reason is one of my son has a lot of anger and is protective of me. So this could be a big reason why he’s not contacting me so much. His getting his business together does seem to be his highest priority right now.

This was very helpful and actually gave me a lot more insight into my own behavior/feelings than all of the other videos on breadcrumbing I've seen. Consider me a new subscriber.

I have been listening to a lot of things on this topic and I must say that you have nailed it! Thank you !

This confirms a lot- I thought I was being too much. Thank you x

17 years is long enough to be ready for a real relationship. Never heard of breadcrumbing. I Haven’t dated or picked someone who is a bread crumb er. I need to understand more. I’ve decided to cut him out. But he doesn’t want to leave. Quite strange. I do not want to blow up but I’ve taken action said what I need. And he won’t go away.

Oh my! You are so sweet! Your thinking is lovely... Thank you!