Closing Closets: The Upside of Disclosing Your Sexual Identity | Jeroen Mulder

Closing Closets: The Upside of Disclosing Your Sexual Identity | Jeroen Mulder | TEDxTwenteU

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8 жыл бұрын

'Coming out of the closet' is the term we use when we talk about disclosing your sexual identity, a metaphor that has gained a greatly negative connotation over the years. Based on his personal experience, Jeroen makes a case for using the metaphor of an inspiring journey, focusing on the joys and upside of disclosing your sexual orientation, instead of on the downside of the claustrophobic closet.
Jeroen Mulder is a student in communication sciences at the University of Twente. Next to that, he is engaged in Contramime, in which he entertains people with cabaret together with his fellow students.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 69

@johnross5098 4 жыл бұрын

That one laugh in the crowd when he said, “scared straight”

@Donello 4 жыл бұрын

Ha-ha! LMAO. It's up to debate whether the pun was intended or not.

@williamexmormon3792 3 жыл бұрын

Lol funny

@talisn1966 5 жыл бұрын

My teacher is a friend of him and showed this in class today

@garcia7288 4 жыл бұрын

Oh my god when he said “is it me” at 5:47 my mind was like “is it me, Jesus?”

@RainbowQuartz2.0 4 жыл бұрын

Garcia omg same

@Lightning-ik3so 4 жыл бұрын

I like this description a lot because it's so true. As someone who realized first that they were asexual, then aromantic, then non-binary, I've realized it so much. Each part of my identity has its own journey, and even when I have one or two parts that I'm quite open about, there's another part that I have yet to disclose to most. Yet there's something great about it because once you have people in your corner that are with you on the journey, it is so freeing. It's not something you have to do completely alone.

@alicest5777 2 жыл бұрын

I was also swayed by the idea that we choose identity. But before 2 years Jesus came to my kitchen, I understood He is God, creator. Felt indescripable love. And suddenly I knew He made me perfect. And there is only either woman or man. Nothing else. He also showed me Satan, I saw him my eyes. He is also alive. He is alsi behind anxieties, false believes, fears, temptations, hate,.. So we need to take Gods word and see who He says we are. Otherwise we take anything Satan tells us to be. It really feels like reality, I understand it from my own personal experience. But when you come to God, He takes all confusion away, cleanses you from all sin as you repent and you are again im tge pure state you were when you were born - innocent, pure, man/woman, joyful, peaceful, hearing Spirit, - this is what happens whe you are BORN AGAIN amd you are renewed by His word. Jesus ♡ no one EVER will love us more than He does. ♡ thank you Jesus!

@Lightning-ik3so 2 жыл бұрын

@@alicest5777 Just so you understand, this is not the place to put this. I was just celebrating my own identity and you essentially told me I was wrong about it. 1. I am a random stranger on the internet. You know very little about me. 2. I am choosing to believe that you had good intentions with this message. But it comes across as condescending. 3. Even if it wasn't, one message isn't going to sway anyone. I similarly wouldn't be able to sway you away from Jesus, because I'm a random person on the internet. But when you leave comments like this, no matter how well meaning, you are potentially going to be met with a lot of anger, because I can promise you that its not something we want to hear from a random person on the internet. Despite your intentions, comments like this are doing more harm than good.

@-Swamp_Donkey- 11 ай бұрын

Maybe you’re just insane and/or a complete mystery to yourself?

@NomanAhmed3 4 жыл бұрын

Damnit KZfaq! It's 3 years old and I'm seeing it today?

@1Girl248 4 жыл бұрын

A lovely perspective! I knew I liked how I felt more secure coming out these days, and I'm looking forward to being even more so, but I didn't really notice how much I've learned to like the whole process.

@alexanderivory-brown118 4 жыл бұрын

Very good presentation! Life is a journey and worth walking with others. We are not meant to walk this journey alone.

@alexljmac 4 жыл бұрын

perfectly put

@BTURNER1961 4 жыл бұрын

Jeroen is right. But nobody is going on any journeys with you, if they are scared to ask you questions about the journey. That means, at least for a little while, you will have to be welcoming of some questions. And I can't say enough for keeping that humor flowing. Its so important to making everyone comfortable so that friends and family be able to laugh and not take all this too seriously. People have to learn to relax more.

@yadi5808 7 жыл бұрын

Thank You, that is such a lovely point.

@blackbox3008 3 жыл бұрын

I’ve been closeted for 5 years and still am not even close to be willing to come out

@EfrLuviano Жыл бұрын

Damn man Are you doing good?

@clefnoteproductions6695 9 ай бұрын

Coming our is a process for everyone. Knowing who's safe to come out to is tricky, especially if you come from a conservative background

@TheDuglas63 4 жыл бұрын

Jeroen, Thank you so very much, you are awesome. Douglas, Florence, Or, USA

@fabioaraujo8379 10 ай бұрын

Very illuminating talk. Thank you

@HarbingerofHyol940 4 жыл бұрын

I can't get over how absolutely handsome Jeroen is! WoW!

@Jcthered 4 жыл бұрын

Cheers to that. Thank you.

@moriae9527 5 жыл бұрын

I love how the lights at the audience shots form rainbows, as if they were trying to show their support

@twinkle_toes3906 4 жыл бұрын

I think if you guys included the audiences reactions that are vocal it would be way more impactful. Right now he just looks like a guy standing and talking in front of a large audience who isn't particularly interested in what he has to say

@PhoenixRising858 10 ай бұрын

Hmm, I understand how audience verbal responses could be interesting. On the other hand, I have yet to watch a TedTalk in which the audience responded except during a Talk that includes a Q&A.

@MrFersitos 4 жыл бұрын

Marvelous!!

@DesirevdBeld 7 жыл бұрын

Goed verhaal Jeroen! Inspirerend verteld. :)

@Clintsessentials 3 жыл бұрын

👍

@rolds3389 5 жыл бұрын

Nice!

@frcgfd107 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for giving me a different way to look at life, how can I join you on your journey?

@rocknroller1986 5 жыл бұрын

Story of my life.

@saintjohnson5927 4 жыл бұрын

Hear everything he say Me: I think I am in to deep

@ronja4567 5 жыл бұрын

I love Theater Alice storry

@javelsaudades6537 4 жыл бұрын

Darling man! Thanks. :)

@andreschuurman773 4 жыл бұрын

wauw goed gesproken.

@orlando098 4 жыл бұрын

I wasn't entirely inspired by this. Basically saying that rather one big thing you get over and done with it's a lifelong challenge.. Not sure that's preferable, though it's probably true.

@1Girl248 4 жыл бұрын

In some societies, it certainly would be a lifelong challenge, unfortunately. I'm lucky to live in a quite tolerant country, and I can relate to him - every time you come out, it's a different experience, and the more you do it, the easier it gets (at least, after you've told the ones closest to you, plus or including family). Each time there's some kind of nervousness at the back of my mind, and each time if it goes better than you expect (and it always has gone well for me; granted, I haven't really trusted a number of people to know yet), you get some reassurance and confidence in this part of yourself, and if nothing else, it prepares you for the next coming out. As another side effect, while there's the risk of ruining relationships, it can also strengthen them. Also as he said, if you examine the nervousness or fear at the thought of a particular coming out, you learn something - maybe about yourself. The feeling is different each time, so eventually your perspective about coming out likely changes.

@RobertYoung-rl5sh 4 жыл бұрын

You are a solder - a leader of your platoon.

@evangelosmouzakitis1278 4 жыл бұрын

need more info

@deIcorazon 4 жыл бұрын

wowie

@biggityboggityboo8775 4 жыл бұрын

He's cute

@Hntrd 4 жыл бұрын

BiggityBoggityBoo very

@carlo89 4 жыл бұрын

I just didn't understand his message. The only thing I got from this is that coming out is a series of smaller obstacles instead of one big one. Uhm... Yeah, sure we know that - as with everything else in life... But what is the upside of closing closets in this message?

@1Girl248 4 жыл бұрын

The upside is learning from the experiences. Lots of different coming outs means lots of things to learn about yourself and others, so it's an opportunity for growth - both for yourself and your relationships

@Urania4007 4 жыл бұрын

Ik raad je aan de werken van Karl Heinrich Ulrichs te lezen

@igod6800 2 ай бұрын

Algún día, ser sincero y honesto no estará acompañado de tanto miedo. Será en día en que ninguna institución de ningún tipo respalde la homofobia. Será una revelación. Someday, being sincere and honest will not be accompanied by so much fear. It will be a day when no institution of any kind supports homophobia. It will be a revelation.