Thank you for saying that solo parenting is easier than co-parenting with a narcissist. It feels wrong to think it, but it absolutely would be easier.

I pray for the day the courts understand and are able to implement ways to protect kids from the narc parent.

Co-parenting with a narcissist can be a VERY LONELY PATH. As it was said perfectly by Dr, people don’t get it and don’t want to get it. So to all of you out there, I hear you, I’m with you, you are not alone. You can do it, you have the strength!

CO-PARENTING WITH A NARC IS THE WORST. I learned to document everything, from texts, visitation drop offs and pick ups, taking pics, audio and video record. It may seem like a lot of work, but keeping that narc in check is priceless. I meet him at the sidewalk with our son in clear view of the neighbors so he can't lie about anything that transpired. He's a toxic mess that hates me because I had the audacity to leave, relocate and move on with my life. The key to co-parenting with a narc is to document, document, document. Once he realized how meticulous I was with it, the accusations, gaslighting, lies lessened. They didn't stop, but lessened. If he said I dropped off our son dirty, I'd send a pic, date and time stamped proving otherwise. If he said I didn't inform him of an appointment, I'd send a screenshot of a text showing that I did. If he said I lied about the time the school bus drops our son home, I'd send a video of the bus pulling up. Sometimes I don't respond at all and let him think he's had his "Gotcha" moment, only to embarrass him in court with evidence. He's lied about me abusing our son and had child services in my home, only for them to suspend his visitation. He was so busy trying to discredit me that he didn't pay attention to his own home. He tried to get custody to collect child support. When the judge told him he's the one to pay me, he then denied our son was his. Bitter men exist.

I've never felt so understood in my entire life. This is incredibly healing just to know I'm not alone thank you

This is spot on! Single parenting with a elephant on your back is a brilliant metaphor, thank you!

I literally started tearing up when you mentioned how difficult the first few days are with the child, after getting them back from the narcissist. My son has a sweet and pure soul, but for at least two days, after he is with his dad, it is exhausting and horrible...horrible because I see how much pain my son is in without even understanding why he feels that way. He needs extra love and cuddles, but is extremely defiant, calls me stupid, the list goes on. I thought I was imagining it because of how much animosity I have for his dad but in my heart I knew it was true. His nanny also mentioned she noticed a behavioral difference. And even so, I am the one constantly being accused of being a bad parent; it's really a nightmare. It truly would be easier being a single parent. Thank you so much for this video!!!

I was married to a Narcissist for 58 years and we had 4 children, all of whom I raised as though I were a single parent for the most part. I came to realize that he preferred that I took most of the responsibility for raising the children so that in case anything went wrong, he could then put all the blame on me!! As an only child raised by a narcissistic Mother, I was the perfect target, as a lot of his behavior, especially in the earlier part of the marriage, were quite familiar. However, as the Narcissism progressed as he aged, it became so much worse, that I had the feeling something was not right. I never felt like an equal partner, he never took responsibility for anything and was an expert at twisting things around so that the blame was always on other people, especially on me!! I had never heard of the word Narcissist until about 17 years ago, when a brief article on the subject of BPD and NPD arrived together with his health insurance bill one month while he was overseas. I had to get out the dictionary and look it up, which provided me with a huge revelation. I began to read everything I could get my hands on on the subject and discovered videos like the ones you make, which have been very enlightening!! By then we were already grandparents, so although I did consider leaving him, it seemed more practical to stay, since we are immigrants to this country and I did not want to involve friends in what would have been a very ugly divorce. Because in spite of the contention between us, and there was a lot of that, he never wanted to separate, as that would have ruined the image of the happy family that he had created to show to the outside world!! Plus, knowing how vindictive and spiteful he was, I was afraid of what he would have done if I had left him. The only way would have been to have left the country, which was impossible, as he controlled the finances with an iron hand. Things got progressively worse when he retired and was home 24/7, but by then his health was deteriorating and he died 1 1/2 years ago, which was a huge relief for me. I am so enjoying my peaceful home and if I said I have missed him for even a minute I would be lying!! Thank you for these enlightening videos which bring me much validation, which, strangely enough, I seem to have a great need for!! Once I was onto what was going on, I withdrew from him emotionally, communicating with him only when necessary, and NEVER giving him any information about my family, knowing that it would have either been used against me or to embarrass me at a later date. Had I known earlier what I was dealing with I would have left, before there were the entanglements of insurance policies, grandchildren and the like. So my advice to anyone in this kind of situation is to get out while you can and don’t look back!! Don’t waste your life on a Narcissist. There is no reward and the stress of putting up with their BS can make you sick and can even lead to death.

My kids are now all teenagers to early 20s and I’ve recently just blatantly gave it to them straight about there Dad. It was tough for them to hear but they have seen enough bs from him on their own over the years to know he is not a mature/responsible parent. After he physically assaulted me that was the last straw for me. I literally told all my kids I’m most definitely pressing charges against your abusive narcissistic father and I don’t care if you don’t like it!! Sometimes you have to give it to your kids straight after they get a level of maturity to understand consequences. They are sad that their Dad will more than likely go to jail but they now understand that this man does not keep getting passes to be a menace just because he is their father. I honestly have been through so much dealing with my ex trying to co parent, that i can honestly admit that I have came to a point where I don’t even care if my kids hate me for giving him consequences! If they choose to follow that reckless idiot then that’s on them and we just won’t be close. But im moving on and im not giving this man any more passes to keep disrupting our lives!

I know we are still in the beginning stages of this psychotic situation, but I am so sick of obliging the narcissist! I'm tired of the need to document. These are my kids and I am protecting them. I refuse to let others into my life. The courts. The schools. I am so done with having to change my life because an abusive man wants to play games! I pray all the time that God will intervene on my behalf. My kids are so keen on the fact that their dad is immature and a liar. I don't have to do anything. We can't say narcissist... passive aggressive, not responsible, lack of communication... set up boundaries and a schedule. They can't cooperate with someone telling them what they will be doing. They want full control of everything. Just make a schedule that doesn't involve you. Don't tell them too much of what you want or prefer because it gives them ammo. Simple. Simple. Simple. and pray because they can't pull their s#$$ with God. This person is a cold pole to you.... nothing more. God is my husband, God is the father of my children. I keep telling myself that he will not get away with anything. I can do my best for me and he can be responsible to God. God help us and bless you for anything you are enduring. This is evil. It isn't impossible. It takes skill. Train. Train. Train.

So true, I was 9 out of 10 times underminded. Hurts deeply watching my son being mentally and emotional ly abused.

I am SOOOO glad that a "highly educated professional" has enough common sense to see AND say what I've been saying for years about family law...THE COURTS DO.NOT.CARE about the children...they are viewed as an asset...not just in the court’s eyes on behalf of the parents, but also in the court’s eyes on what makes the family law area of practice a multi-billion dollar revenue generator for the legal system. It's RARE a judge does what's best for the kids and as Dr. Ramani said, it's usually AFTER the damage is done. The courts won't dare let that source of revenue diminish in any way so they need parents to keep coming back to court...it's one way the lawyers, judges, lawmakers, etc. keeps the money flowing in. And unfortunately, the foolish parents who love fighting in court are typically the poor and middle class with much lower income than those who work for legal system who can't see how they're part of feeding the 1%.

Thank you for sharing! 8 years ago, after gaslighting me for 11 years (now 19 years), my narc told me I was crazy and needed help. So, I got help. After 2 months, my therapist finally convinced me to look up the word gaslighting. I cried for 2 days straight. Shortly afterward, I reconnected with some of the friends I had been isolated from and filed for divorce. He wasn't working, which made him the most available parent, so the GAL was going to recommend he have the kids 6 days a week. During this time, both he and his family tried to destroy me emotionally, socially, and financially. There was no way I was going to escape and leave my kids behind. I stopped the divorce to be with and protect my kids. I got my own checking account, my own job, my own money, and my own activities. Basically, I got my own life with my kids. I refused to have holidays with his family or allow my children much interaction with them, and then none after they told my kids to run away from home. In the last 8 years, he's not been allowed in my bed, and I've made it a mission to learn and heal. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I've purposely made his life miserable. Hoping the misery he was living would outweigh his joy of trying to control me. When he took a great new job requiring him to relocate a few miles away, he told me I was not welcome to go unless I changed my ways. I again cried for 2 days until I realized he could not take my kids. This was my way out! That was 3 years ago. At first, the kids would visit him frequently, but soon, they saw him for what he is. Today, I'm in the process of divorcing him again. He thinks he's dodged child support cause my kids are now in high school. He doesn't realize since he is getting poor advice, plus, we are now in a different state than where he went through his 1st divorce, child support is to age 23 or longer when the kids are in college. My kids are going to college!!! It's not easy or over. He still threatens to take the kids, refuses to get a job since being fired, is blowing thru our retirement money, calls me names (the newest is POW, Piece Of Work), lies constantly, plays the victim, post derogatory stuff about me on fb, etc... In the end, I have always been a very happy person, and it kills him he can't take that or my kids from me!

The courts don’t care. There is a wealth of information in this video. This is one of the first things that became quickly obvious in my observation of the experience of a loved one going through the legal system. Survivors are desperate to believe that someone will hear them and acknowledge their pain at the hands of someone who constantly lies and is always verbally and sometimes physically abusive. Instead, they typically get dismissed and judged. Sadly, the courts don’t care. This has to change and I’m so glad that someone has implemented an initiative to educate court personnel regarding these matters.

As a therapist, I might add that "parallel parenting" is the most effective way to co parent with a narcissist. Thank you again Dr. Ramani, for the wonderful refresher

I'd like to comment on the yellow-rock "explaining" part of this video. I work with a Parenting Coordinator with my son's father. She has been with us for 8 months. I have learned that yellow-rock and not explaining or communicating the "why's" is frowned upon, establishing personal boundaries and enforcing them is frowned upon, not communicating every detail of what you do and why you do it is frowned upon. Example: My mother, who he loathed and often accused of breaking us up and slandering him, became terminally ill and was in the hospital for 3 weeks until she passed. I was not able to facilitate phone calls between him and our son before. I explained that there was a family emergency anytime our son was unavailable. I did not feel safe disclosing that my mother was in the hospital, I can't even imagine how much fun he'd have with making that time more difficult for me emotionally. The PC said, by me not disclosing that, I was demonstrating poor communication and added to the dysfunction even though she knew how verbally and emotionally abusive he is. He did however take advantage of causing problems once he found out she passed away and as always used our son. It was then she understood why I did not disclose everything while she was sick, however, validated his claim that if he'd known, he would have respected that time and would have been understanding. Even though, his pattern of behavior demonstrates the complete opposite. So, everything that I was doing to survive before we were ordered to her, is the exact opposite of what she wants to see with a few exceptions. She wants to see us working together but deny the reality that this is not possible with our son's father. She has ordered us both to therapy. I am going along with it and am actually grateful for therapy. I am surviving by pretending this person is normal, so I interact with him as best as I can as I would anyone else. I can see that it may work in my favor over time, if I demonstrate cooperation and resolution the same as I would a co-worker while he's making that difficult. I have to withdraw my boundaries, which is causing me a lot of anxiety, in order for the PC to see that there is a defined demarcation line between us and who is the problem in our co-parenting relationship.

Only 15 minutes in and already this is possibly the most important video I've watched in my life. Thank you so so so much from the bottom of my patched together heart following the hardest 6 months of my life.

I got this down to a fine art during my divorce, to the extent that he now leaves me right alone. There's always pain involved with dealing with a narcissist, but if you do it right, they won't want to mess with you because you have developed strong boundaries and DON'T react so there's no supply to get from you. I don't ask him for anything, not even money. As a friend told me, you are now in effect a single parent with no help, and the sooner you accept that the better off you'll be. I prefer to do it myself anyway it's easier than having to deal with him. My ex now looks nervous when he has to talk to me because I've got the power back.

i watch this video every few months to keep me sane......imagine having a narcissistic bipolar ex that is a domestic violence court clerk that files something every other month, living hell

Today was my 5 year old son's second visitation with his dad. My son's behavior changes are so different that I burst into tears. I truly am grieving my son because he normally is my sweet, loving, caring boy I raised for 5 years and now he shows anger, sadness, confusion, and fear. Dealing with his father who is not complying with the visitation orders making me drive from place to place to get my son is so cruel. As if that was not enough I got scolded because "I did not provide a Halloween costume" (I don't celebrate Halloween). Unfortunately even though there is a visitation order it cannot be enforced as it is not yet signed by a judge. To all the moms I just want to say, let's stay strong, get our children the help they need and lets get the help we need. I send you a strong hug!! you are not alone. Per court orders we are all being served on a silver platter to these narcissist/abusers. I am truly grateful for Dr. Ramani for posting this video. I immediately started to apply everything suggested and can't wait for the next court hearing sadly scheduled 3 months from today.

This is my life to a T, co-parenting with a grandiose AND malignant narcissist for the last decade. Thank you, Dr Ramani for so clearly putting words to a very frustrating, challenging time, and offering the tools to cope.

I finally stood up to my ex narcs abuse and went to see a lawyer with evidence of the abuse. He no longer can contact me as I've gone no contact, and he refuses to agree to the terms outlined by my lawyer. So he hasn't seen our son in 2 months and honestly, part of me wishes he gives up. He's toxic and inconsistent with our son, he would be happier completely out.

I just wanted to reach through and hug you when you said "it s their responsibility to go get help in adult hood"

Omg thank you, With my ex husband i always ended up over explaining things and writing so much till I learned to do this trick: finish writing the text, then read it, delete it, and just stick to facts. He always made me feel like if I didn't attach receipts, dates, whys and hows it was gonna be a full on 3 hr phone conversation. Now i stick to facts and that's it.

I’ve been watching Dr. Ramani for over a year and this is something I’ve been searching for the entire time because this is where I’m at with deal with the Narc… Never been married to him but we do have a child together.

Thank you! For this video. I honestly keep feeling like he is a narcissistic person because of how hard it is to coparent with my daughters dad. Now watching this video and relating to every single one of your topics, I know that he is a narcissist. It is sad. It is horrible. It would be easier to be a single parent. My poor baby

This work that you do is Pure Gold Doctor Ramani. Thank you so much for this webinar. Parenting with a narcissist has to be the most difficult of all narcissistic relationships. X

I am the mother watching my daughter going through her daily exhausting ritual of documenting every emotionally abusive text she receives. There are so many concerns we have. If he can destroy the self-esteem of an adult, we fear what he can do to a 2 year old when he gets visitation. The worst part, as you confirmed, is that the courts focus on parental rights rather than child safety. It's just another twist of the knife. My granddaughter is two and a half. We have never, nor will we ever, put thoughts in her head, but we witness her reaction when her dad picks her up for visits. She cries and says she doesn't want to go. The daycare has to pick her up and literally force her to go with him. There is a law that prevents child abuse from being brought out in the open. I have learned that recording the childs visit with a narcissist is illegal, and the person recording the visit can be jailed. Imagine, proven child abuse, and the person with proof is the criminal!! So we sit and wait for my two year old granddaughter to come home with "proof" of abuse. The laws need to be changed so that children under the age of 4 can be recorded during a visit.

And this right here is the reason why a lot of people stay in these abusive relationships until the kids are old enough

Thank you so much for sharing. This is exactly what I am dealing with every single thing you mentioned I am going through.

Thanks for this, I've studied narcissim for 4 years plus to understand what was happening to me. Now I'm onto co parenting and child access. This is so helpful. ❤️

I am so grateful every day, I am lucky to be surrounded by “unicorns” - including the judge who ordered supervised visits only. Thankfully my daughter is safe for now, but I know it’s not over.

Dr. Ramani in addition to being THE expert on narcissists, is one of the best teachers ever. Thank you for posting her workshop. She is brilliant.

Dr. Ramani is so right! I met my narcissistic first husband when we were sophomores in high school and I honestly never had a chance to even understand why he treated me so cruelly because I was so young and naïve. My friends tried to tell me and pulled away, but because of my own issues primarily with my narcissistic mother, I stuck by him. We married and had two children. I left him 32 years ago when our kids were 15 and 12 years old. Way too late! They are in their 40s now and both very damaged people. Once again I am estranged from my daughter, who is just like her father. Both of them have acknowledged that their father is a narcissist, but my daughter turned out just like him. My son is a gentle spirited person who was physically abused by his father. He gets it, but he is so wounded. I have been in the healing process through therapy and codependency groups for 40+ years. I am now a senior citizen, and the person who tormented, controlled and abused me beginning at the tender age of 15 years old still exists in my life, even though I haven’t seen or spoken to him in years. We don’t have a relationship, but his abuse lives on through my children. I am fine now,, but he managed to hurt me in the exact way he intended by hurting our children.

Wow this is eye opening. She would actually call me a narcissist and I even considered it after a while but this video perfectly describes her behaviors and how I feel dealing with it. Crazy thing.. shes the one divorcing me. The gaslighting is so accurate. 7 years and never apologized for anything once. Ive explained my feelings but shed completely write me off fo so long. I cant even count the amount of times I've apologized and tried to talk things through. Atleast I understand now but still have to deal with her while we coparent. Shes incapable of taking any ownership and never has

As a father, I was listening this thinking there were some narcissistic is my soon-to-be co-parent, but wound up finding some of my own traits reflected back to me. Luckily I'm already in therapy and really trying to look at this stuff. It's really hard and I feel pulled 900 directions by my own desires and my co parents desires and my personal work... But regardless this was helpful. Thank you!

Men go through this too and it sucks

I am dealing with a malignant at the moment. Quite early in the process, but had to be off studies/work for a while to gain strength and mindfullness. I have been called in to police, social justice, tried to be cut off all my savings, homeless, hold the children away, talk behind my back to the children, flying monkeys. I still love a false image of her. It's insaine. I am winning though due to she has a ex with my bonus child where she did the exact same and used me as a flying monkey. Now she might loose all custody and even jail through the other custody battle. That has been going on for 7 years. It is truley chocking to go through. Best of luck to all of you and my biggest thanks for this channel and community. ❤

Having this information made available for the world is invaluable. With a two year old involved with whats going on with me, all I can say is thank you.

this helped so much and have forwarded to my grown children who are in the midst of their dad's true colors. The gas lighting, money manipulation during college and now with my daughter's wedding. He is severe bipolar, severe narcissistic....was diagnosed during the divorce due to child pornography and a gay relationship. The 17 year marriage was bad....coparenting post separation/divorce has been a nightmare and worse with his aging. I'm begging my children to seek counseling to stop the cycle for their future. thank you for giving this lesson!!!

You are my personal hero, I don’t know if you are aware of the impact that you make in our lives you saved my mental health and my life and I can’t thank you enough

I'm trying to co parent with a narc it's impossible a train wreck I want off and out and raise my kids by myself.

Excellent summary provided. Thank you so much and God bless . As a Christian in this upsetting situation I know of the upset, and accusations, breakthroughs, insights and of strength not despair ,are happening but prayers are being answered also in Christ. Thank you for yr excellent advice here.

When you said " parenting with a narcissist you have to think forensically. Hour by hour on how or what to get." I feel like a detective, my life spins around what I can get next. I feel like going crazy

Wow! Great way of explaining counterparenting with a Narc. Totally different angle compared to what i've learnt. Extremely helpful. I wish you also explained dealing with teenagers bcos their mindset is formed and their opinions might have been shaped by the malignant narcissist to see the alienated parent as evil.

I can sign up under every word you said! This is the best uncovering of blue print of co-parenting with a narc. I wish I knew earlier in life what narcs had taught me. Courts do need to be educated to prevent that “shredding” of kids during divorces. 👍

Thank you so much for this! Love your work! Many need this! I’m a Psychology degree student and a single parent with 2 ‘antagonistic’ fathers also. The world needs your knowledge. Many thanks 🙏

This is probably one of the hardest thing anyone could go through. Parental alienation attacks the fundamentals of life. NPD is on the rise too.

Watching this today I am for the first time ever in 20 years of dealing with this hearing words of affirmation for the first time. I am the wife of a man who has a narcissist ex wife and mother to their three children. I had to deal with all of this without being prepared or warned of this situation until I was in too deep to back out. I did not know how bad this was going to be in the beginning. I think my husband tried to hide it because he was ashamed that he didn't have a handle on it. I think maybe a small part of him thought that she would calm down after he got re married. It actually got much worse. Everything described in this podcast is exactly to a T what we went through and still am going through with our now adult children and their spouses as well. At first I really thought the woman was just jealous or angry or overwhelmed. But she is actually a malicious narcissist. I know that now thanks to Dr Ramani. I have shared these videos with my husband and even though he doesn't want to re live what we went through, his eyes are open. I could write a book on all the things that happened over the last 20 years on how this "antagonistic" person has affected my life and used me and my husband as her personal punching bag. It was so completely unfair to do that to us and unnecessary. I wish I had Ramani as my personal therapist to talk to because getting this all out of me and my hubby would be just the medicine we need. Because this whole situation is still a bottled up mess in both of us waiting to be released somehow. And I wished my step kids could all see these videos and get the healing they need as well. Because God knows they probably need it more than I do. Our middle step daughter still has not spoken to us in years because of the Gaslighting. She used to look at me when she was little and tell me, "My Mom hates you". I used to go off into my room and cry alone. All we wanted was to be a big blended family. And this kids were never given the opportunity to love me or even like me at all. They have been poisoned. I hope and pray this all somehow turns around one day. I'm just not sure how. Also as for my sweet husband, I really want him to know that none of this was ever his fault. He couldn't control what his ex did. I know he feels guilty that maybe if he stayed in that marriage none of this would of happened. He is just as much a victim as the kids are. And for the record, no I had nothing to do with his divorce. I didn't even live in the same state as him. I didn't know him or anyone in this town. I moved here alone and met my husband 6 months after living here. And he had already been divorced from her for 4 years.

I have been watching and learning about this for going on two years now and this is the most accurate most helpful most powerful KZfaq I have landed on. Thank you so much for what you do

Wow. What a relief to have these issues actually confirmed as “issues.” There was no good way of explaining the impact of speaking through our children, the picking up the pieces, feeling like a single parent w/ an elephant on my back.

This is so helpful! Dr. Durvasula gives priceless advice and it's so helpful to have someone in our corner who just gets it!

This is so so helpful. Thank you. All my questions well answered beyond what is thought of. Its such a sad thing for a child who is stuck in this situation.

Thinking forensicly.. I like to think like a judge is reading EVERY TEXT... or my daughter is reading them... I'm not perfect but that helps me... Great webinar!! Love what you put out! Thank you 🙌

Great information. Shared immediately with a few single parents friends who are experiencing this.

Every point is so true and on point ! No one knows except the co-parents and Dr Ramani. I am eternally grateful for your understanding and help.

This is the 1st time Ive seen this video and I cannot express how grateful I am to feel seen with this information. It’s all here. Everything I’ve been going thru the last 6 years. Thank you. This has been a big help! ❤

Never saw such a great breakdown of the 'Types' of Narcissist until you broke it down!

I'm so glad to be listening to this. Until recently I've been 50/50 co parenting with a narcasist for 12 years and for 10 of those years his high functioning alcoholic partner. It is a nightmare!!! It's honestly like a perfect storm. I cannot even begin to start on the things that have happened over the last 12 years. Now our daughter has started hitting puberty he's started (predictably) turning it on her. She's hurting so bad it's heartbreaking. It resonating so much about the grieving because now I'm facing the fact my daughter does not get to have the childhood she deserves and although I know it isn't it feels like it's my fault. I'm trying my best to give her what she needs and mitigate for the abuse and neglect on their part but I have come to realise I can only do what I can do and it's not enough. I just hope she will come out OK but I also worry about the teenage years.

Dr. Romani thank you for sharing all your studies, You seriously have saved me! I wish I had this knowledge during the raising of my children, who now have nothing to do with me, my Ex has done a number on my adult children. I was definitely a enabler always tolerant of his violent out burst making excuses for him, because he had a extremely narcissistic father who was very abusive, but my Ex idolized him as far as even moving him down the street from us he would come over unannounced barge in rageful, rude, want you to drop everything for him all these years later I am watching the cycle repeat itself now my children idolize their father who would physically and emotionally abuse me and them! I could tell them so many stories but I don’t want to throw him under the bus he is the only father they have! I am finally living with peace of knowing I did the best I could at the time that I love my children but I will not tolerate them treating me like their father even though that’s all they know, I have created strong boundaries married a wonderful man and we are trying to leave the past in the past be happy and love our children despite how evil they treat us! Dr. Ramani one day I would like you to do one on why adult children can be so mean to the only mother or father that loved them unconditionally and defended them! Thank you so much, you are a rockstar!

Came back a year later to listen again... and it's a great refresher and I've learned how to apply to my situation today instead of last year.

I have been unable to find a friend or therapist who truly understands my experience. Its incredibly isolating. Thank you for this!

I am grateful that you brought up this topic Dr. Ramani. Co-parenting with a narcissist while living with them or while not living with them is so very stressful and at times can be dangerous depending on whatever comorbidities are present in the situation. Many of us who got through to the other side of that to see our adult children thriving sometimes wonder how any of us involved in the situation survived it at all.

It's incredible that you are able to say the same exact things that I am thinking and feeling.

This videos are SO helpful, thanks for doing them Dr Ramani!

Bless you. God bless any parents having to deal with this . Peace to our children. ♥️🕊🌟

Omg nailed every single tiny detail. Thank you for all this amazing help.

This video is packed with great information and advice. I wish I had heard this when I was raising my daughter and dealing with her Grandiose Narcissist father. Just as Dr. Ramani says, he succeeded in alienating me and my daughter with his money and power. I saw him chipping away at her respect for me over the years, but trusted that she would eventually see through it. Still waiting for that day to come.

I feel so sad because my son is only 1y old. He will never know what his parents looked like when they were happy together. He will only be able to look at pictures and wonder. But you have given me hope that I will be able to teach empathy and understanding of feelings in my home away from the narc

Only 5 minutes in and you explained exactly what I'm dealing and have dealt with. Thank you.

"What if my child turns out this way ?" is a very sad realization

I wish my kids could watch this, to know and understand, but that won’t ever happen because I continue to protect them from more pain. The games of their narcissist father will never stop, as long as he is alive. I agree with absolutely everything you say here…it’s the story of my life! It hit me like a train. :-(

This video is making me so emotional my daughters father is putting me thru absolute hell. Most recently has been withholding her meds for months when she’s with him because he was upset that I didn’t respond to a text message. He will look me in my face and lie about any and everything. I feel helpless

Thank you. This helped so much. Bless you for all you are doing to help others, including my kids and me.

U are the best🙌🏾 Thank u for telling like it is and giving us practical tools and inspiring us to step up ⚖️

I’m constantly asking my children are you ok? How are you feeling? 😭 I ache for them.

Thank you! Anxiety was killing me to a level I cudnt sleep but now I feel better after watching this video. God bless.

Dr. Ramani this is an amazing insight and great information. I am in the filed of being a mediator and a Professional Supervised Visitation Monitor and you have hit the bullseye with this video

I wish I found this video earlier. This is so validating and so helpful.

💜my gratitude for ALL your work is very emotional...ie teaching us how to recognize precise aspects of NA, codependency or knowing today's parents will have such valuable tools to coparent...PS and your sense of humor too. My fav "...take my car, i'll take the bus!!!"

yellow and grey are my favorite colors. about to start. the future is brighter. thank you all for all you do

Thank you so much for making this video ♥ you feel so alone when going through this this, the inability of others to even comprehend the malignant treatment/behavior causes isolation and self-silencing.

I’ve not met my daughter for 2 months already. I messaged her today, “ When I see my daughter? “ no answer still my ex

My 15 yo has been the recipient of her “dad’s”malignant narcissistic abuse, is in therapy, and explains it as court ordered abuse. The courts really know how to ruin and devastate children. She is old enough to make her own decisions not to have interaction with him, but can’t wait until 18. It breaks my heart as I had the crystal ball and it could have all been prevented. Adults suffering today are often a product of this system.

Thank you for continuing to make these helpful videos.

Thanks for sticking these videos up. Thanks for letting me know what I’ve gotten myself into. It’s hard dealing with narcissistic mother who is chipping away at alienating my son from me. The fella turn 18 in December and the day before his 18th, she was chipping away at him in that he doesn’t have to go to Dad’s anymore. The sick bit is she will use him to hit me over my head with medical issues. I don’t often seek help and I certainly do not have the money to burn to get help. It’s hard at times but I do shoot for the high road when things go south and I have had the satisfaction many times for doing that. Now that the fella is 18, and he is a type one diabetic, and he ‘can do what he wants’. It’s harder to ensure he takes ownership of his disease and all the other things that go on in his life. The fella is mummt cuddled, never worked a day in his life and from what I see coming from the mother home, that’s not going to happen. It’s a shame as she is destroying him and me..

This was fantastic. You hit the head on the nail with certain specifics in my situation, along with giving simple ways for improvements. Thank you.

May God bless you for every thing you do to help us. We are blessed because we are no longer blindfolded under the narcissistic spell, but we still need a lot of help and information, specially when we are co parenting. Thank you for being there for us all 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

This is golden! Thank you hundredfold dr. Ramani. God bless you!

Thank you for this very useful video. I cried a lot at the beginning because it was very painful to hear a lot of the bluntness and realities of the situation. I think it was important to hear the harsh reality of what is to come but it has given me some understanding and knowledge to feel more confident to ride the storm. Thank you. X

Very important topic, thank You! Yes! This is the hardest ever! You just cannot walk away, like in relationship, and that is sooo hard already! Very damaging! All that have become a victim of this shall be blessed and healed! 🍀🙏❤

I have to meet you! This is BLOWING MY MIND HOW YOU ARE SPEAKING MY MIND!

Thank you for this. I am an enabler and I can't regulate strong emotion. I am going to put more effort into actively listen to my children.

I’ve listened to so many hours of information on the topic and I’ve personally found this hour is without a doubt the most helpful and applicable: thank you sincerely so much. If you’ve ever pondered it, I’m sure many would dearly appreciate a Part 2 covering more material on this very difficult topic… thanks again😊

I needed to be introduced to your studies. Thank you for existing

I stayed to mitigate his influence. I was not going to allow him extended time alone with our children. I would rather let them see me stand against his crippling contempt and selfishness. Sure it was hard on them, but now they realize my sacrifice and that I was the one who loved them. That his perspective and behavior is the way to end up alone.

Thank you for putting my experience into words and helping to validate what I’m going through ❤️

A few minutes with the children and takes many snaps together to show as a proof for how much he loves them, but never shows up for anything else....

Just got the app. Narcissistic sons father showed up after being absent for 5 years and refusing to help in anyway. This is the beginning of my coparenting journey with a narcissist and I am scared. This video made me feel understood. The app is great so far.

Wow, this is literally my day-to-day reality. Thank you for this