Mu Becomes A Concern, The Delta Spread Continues, And Colbert Shaves The 'Stache

Рет қаралды 2,060,919

2 жыл бұрын

75% of American adults have received at least one vaccine shot as of today, yet the pandemic rages on as a variant called Mu enters the realm of concern. Meanwhile, caving to popular demand and family pressure, Stephen Colbert shaved off his questionable mustache. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

Пікірлер: 2 500

@maryrosekent8223 2 жыл бұрын

I’m so glad Evie has a sharp eye and a firm grip on the Colbert family

@Stethacanthus 2 жыл бұрын

@No Chance Without Pasta the return of the Colbeard?

@4thGradeReadingLevel 2 жыл бұрын

and the Colbert family jewels

@germandragon8136 2 жыл бұрын

behind every strong man there is a strong woman :D

@yo3685 2 жыл бұрын

Evie is the best!!! 🥰

@cathycooper6135 2 жыл бұрын

Totally!

@alansmitheejr. 2 жыл бұрын

Cows have been dealing with the Mu variant for ages. Just ignore it and look the udder way.

@jeffbaer5851 2 жыл бұрын

Dammit, I just can't NOT give this a thumbs up. It's like a 4 year old violin prodigy who has an Elmo sticker on her Stradivarius. Childish, but brilliant.

@telectronix1368 2 жыл бұрын

A bovine-ly inspired joke.

@dritemolawzbks8574 2 жыл бұрын

That would explain why the cattle and livestock dewormer drugs are getting mistakenly prescribed to humans.

@marisolaquino719 2 жыл бұрын

😆😂🤦‍♀️

@humbleevidenceaccepter7712 2 жыл бұрын

How do bovines get their shots? Very Cowfully.

@studiolezard 2 жыл бұрын

The best thing about the pandemic is that we got to know Evie.

@pi17835 2 жыл бұрын

True. And as happy as I am for him and the crowd that they are back: I really liked the shows from home

@LapsedPacifist79 2 жыл бұрын

She’s awesome, loved that laugh. He’s a lucky man

@aslinebelcourt3622 2 жыл бұрын

It’s the way Jon laugh at the Syphilis Jam Jokes for me. 😂😂

@transcendentalidiot3321 2 жыл бұрын

Stephen's stache had to go. It looked self-aware and I'm pretty sure it had evil intentions.

@Ortorin 2 жыл бұрын

Let's be honest, whoever colors his hair needed to see his face first. Would have been fine then.

@deecohen1383 2 жыл бұрын

Have you seen his episode of comedians in cars with Jerry Seinfeld he had a full on gray goatee he was “on a break”

@charlotteinnocent8752 2 жыл бұрын

Glad his wife stepped in he looked like John Bolton and the world already has one too many John Boltons.

@NoobSaibotMK666 2 жыл бұрын

I thought he looked like a younger Alex Trebek 🤔👍🏻

@dayegilharno4988 2 жыл бұрын

Now it's gone, I almost think that if anbody could pull that look off, it's Stephen... He should give wearing a cape a try next!

@SRowntree 2 жыл бұрын

There's Mu, let's just hope there's no Mu 2.

@M0oranshi 2 жыл бұрын

Hats off for that you good sir

@kito1san 2 жыл бұрын

Uh... Not if it evolves.

@thend4427 2 жыл бұрын

Lmao good pokemon reference

@nicoleyoung5890 2 жыл бұрын

Mu 2 will kick all our asses

@2keyblades 2 жыл бұрын

Hopefully a kid from Pallettown to save us

@michaelhoward142 2 жыл бұрын

"Nothing spreads like syphilis". OK, that made me laugh out loud -- for real. And Jon's reaction made it even better.

@sberke 2 жыл бұрын

Me too! 🤣🤣🤣

@smokingstone1141 2 жыл бұрын

Jon's reaction got me too.

@porkchop4401 2 жыл бұрын

I had to rewind because i loled for a good 5 seconds.

@MrTricksterWins 2 жыл бұрын

I have a 4&+5 now just thrive me sis dkdkdjddkd to try to

@chadd990 2 жыл бұрын

It isn’t your fault but your comment shows up directly under the video in the mobile app, and it completely ruined the joke for me. It was funny though

@--ART3MIS-- 2 жыл бұрын

I can't say if it's a good thing or a bad thing that, nowadays, this guy is the best that america has to offer to the rest of the world. all I can say is: I love Stephen Colbert! greetings from Europe!

@Sugarskulls_forever 2 жыл бұрын

That Pokemon joke was perfect. Someone give that millennial writer a raise!!

@jembozaba4864 2 жыл бұрын

As a massive Pokémon fan and player, I agree.

@misskasi8406 2 жыл бұрын

#weeblife

@Klynker 2 жыл бұрын

Absofuckinglutely

@mattstyles2498 2 жыл бұрын

U can compare people that were born in 2005 to people that were already 20 in 2005

@dielaughing73 2 жыл бұрын

You should Pokemon Go to the clinic!

@vitrify 2 жыл бұрын

FYI, the Robert E Lee statue was removed from Monument Avenue in Richmond, not the Capitol grounds. As an aside, with this action, the only figure left on Monument Ave is a statue of Arthur Ashe.

@g.d.graham2446 2 жыл бұрын

Good humor with the stache. As they say, "Happy wife, happy life" 👏

@puniwong3478 2 жыл бұрын

Stephen is my fav. comedian, talk show host, love his sense of humor

@LeftIsBest001 2 жыл бұрын

That Italian bit at the end had some of the funniest gags I've heard in a while. _"In a misguided attempt to destigmatize mental illness..."_ Bahahahahahaaaaaaaa 🤣😂🤣

@notsure1969 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah. Bahaha indeed.

@brownkemosabe 2 жыл бұрын

Just so you know, the Mu variant has one Insertion mutation, and several substitution mutations in the region of the receptor-binding domain. In other words - if this variant doesn't become a breakthrough variant.... You can be damn sure that the one the diverges from this one will be. That's why it is so important for everyone to get vaccinated, and for an updated vaccine to come out soon

@A.K.00 2 жыл бұрын

you think the believers of ancient fairytales are gonna understand any of this?

@telectronix1368 2 жыл бұрын

Meanwhile covid deniers are still screaming 'it's never been isolated!'

@itsd0nk 2 жыл бұрын

@@A.K.00 oh crap, we’re doomed

@lindaleelaw5277 2 жыл бұрын

So vaxing is going to be on going ? I'll pass .

@davidanderson_surrey_bc 2 жыл бұрын

@@lindaleelaw5277 So you have to renew your driver's insurance every year? I guess you'll pass on that too.

@m2012o1 2 жыл бұрын

"Got my kiss." How dare you go for such blatant emotional manipulation, sir, and how dare it work so well.

@denasharpe2393 2 жыл бұрын

Lol

@mariekastler5391 2 жыл бұрын

Want to like this...want MORE to leave it at 69 likes😍

@tirsedenia 2 жыл бұрын

"In a misguided attempt to destigmatize mental illness" LMAOOO xD

@baxterosburn8642 2 жыл бұрын

So glad you're back, Stephen. That felt so much longer than 2 weeks.

@captaincosmos3280 2 жыл бұрын

For sure. I know a lot of people like it, but I hate that cartoon thing they've been doing as a filler.

@angellabrown462 2 жыл бұрын

God, yes! Couldn't believe how much I missed him!

@coultergill7728 2 жыл бұрын

@@Saffe1978 Colbert isn't a loser

@wgooetrik 2 жыл бұрын

@@Saffe1978 Coming from the guy that watches ben shapiro and fox news. Classic

@jstnxprsn 2 жыл бұрын

@@captaincosmos3280 Who likes the Tooning crap? It's so embarrassingly unfunny, I think Fallon came up with it.

@Thingumabob333 2 жыл бұрын

Missed opportunity to call the fake Italian food from america an "Impasta"

@Stormingmiku 2 жыл бұрын

Surprised that didn't happen 🤣 would have been amazing

@Flaubert 2 жыл бұрын

Love that one

@WizardOfArc 2 жыл бұрын

👏👏👏

@ansuajo 2 жыл бұрын

Ha! Go write for the late show

@AllPileup 2 жыл бұрын

If the product does not pass FDA regulations, the manufacturer might be Jailato-ed.

@JonathanHartwig 2 жыл бұрын

Sound guy LOVED that whistle. Holy crap, I typed that right before he said it.

@JohnkyTonkbadonkadonk 2 жыл бұрын

I was listening while off the page, and the second I heard "Pokemon", and "Mew" I immediately came back, to see our precious, pink, mewing, genderless, parent to Mewtwo.. 10/10 Episode.

@jwilk5606 2 жыл бұрын

Too late for that.

@LouellaSGray 2 жыл бұрын

In TV

@Missy-Missy1111 2 жыл бұрын

Mother Nature called 911 on humans and accused us of domestic violence.

@CloudsGirl7 2 жыл бұрын

Let's hope she aborts Texas first. (Well, Texas GOP, anyway.)

@michaelj.beglinjr.2804 2 жыл бұрын

But, it was just one stupid whistle!

@JaySaindon 2 жыл бұрын

The sound guys did a great job with the whistle

@rohananya 2 жыл бұрын

I love the way he presents the monologue - it doesn’t look as if he is reading ANYTHING - such a natural !!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 xx

@mariekastler5391 2 жыл бұрын

Based on SCIENCE, then Evie said "NO!" Shaved, and they lived happily ever after❣️

@tommyt1971 2 жыл бұрын

Boils down to “Evie SAID SO, DAMNIT!!”

@shayrobertson1788 2 жыл бұрын

Cause they know how to do a marriage the right way 😏

@smartmarketing173 2 жыл бұрын

Scientifically speaking, the lack of kisses makes the choice to shave an evidence-based decision. Science wins! Carry on.

@mercuryangel9223 2 жыл бұрын

Honestly, the writers for Stephen Colbert show should win all the awards they should rightly be nominated for! His monologue are always out of this world!! I LOVE IT!!

@Sam-jm1nn 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah I think they are more deserving than John Oliver's staff tbh

@Steve-oc2wr 2 жыл бұрын

I wish I was simple minded enough to enjoy him

@BendSpeirs 2 жыл бұрын

So true MercAngel. I died laughing.

@petergalindo6867 2 жыл бұрын

@@Sam-jm1nn why is that

@mostlysunny582 2 жыл бұрын

Win awards for this trash?

@adamgardiner5869 2 жыл бұрын

I don't know who that guy was who hosted last night, but I'm glad to see u back Stephen!

@giovanni1290 2 жыл бұрын

😡😡😡😡

@telectronix1368 2 жыл бұрын

It was his evil twin Blephen Colbear.

@DrTssha 2 жыл бұрын

Damn Mirror Universe hosts...

@throwaway5423 2 жыл бұрын

It was the darkest timeline...

@DS1Infinite 2 жыл бұрын

It Was Reven Rolbert His Evil Twin From A Paralell Universe

@maryanneslater9675 2 жыл бұрын

As someone who has had many a kiss turned into a "Gah!" moment by one of my husband's moustache hairs going up my nose, I do see Evvie's point of view.

@deprofundis3293 2 жыл бұрын

Same! Lol

@alexmartinez5859 2 жыл бұрын

My mother and her coworkers in the hospice home they work at said that COVID is quickly becoming the frat party no one wants to go to: Alpha Delta Mu.

@LaCheshireChat 2 жыл бұрын

I adore Jon Batiste's genuine laugh when he's particularly tickled by one of Stephen Colbert's jokes! It's wonderful!

@MrBayspring 2 жыл бұрын

Yes I agree, if he did not have an audience, all he needs is Evie & john.

@Keallei 2 жыл бұрын

Pikachu!

@MrBayspring 2 жыл бұрын

@@annaku_lickalicious Its probably a good thing for you that no one here knows who you are, unless of course the people that do know you are just as dumb as you, and its a fair guess that they are. John is in a league all by himself when it comes to how talented of a musician he is. If anything sthepen would be the one that would have to suck up to John to keep him on the show. There are so many other things he could be doing, and for a lot more money. And you must be new to the show if you don't know that their relationship is not one of boss and employee, besides being friends they genuinely admire each other's talent...John can't make you laugh, and Stephen can't compose songs, write music and orchestrate a band. Its mutual respect for what they do. So when you see and hear John laughing, its genuine.

@denasharpe2393 2 жыл бұрын

Probably because he had not heard them at rehersal!! That really makes me happy..

@stephenroche7988 2 жыл бұрын

Jon in the background saying Pikachu is now my favourite thing

@Keallei 2 жыл бұрын

I know it was soooo adorable!

@hopefulhyena3400 2 жыл бұрын

Is watching a man throw a ball real far so damn important that you can't watch it on TV while we're still in the middle of a plague?

@Green4peace 2 жыл бұрын

The people at the Iowa game were waving at the UI Children’s Hospital - which is attached to the UI Hospital - which makes it 100x worse. It was a giant F-U to those children and their families. “We will wave at you sans masks but won’t wear masks for you.”

@theodorethompson9032 2 жыл бұрын

Crazy there hasn't been any stories about everyone getting sick. Just like all the folks rioting last summer...

@midknight 2 жыл бұрын

@@theodorethompson9032 you must have your dates confused. Riots were on Jan 6. Peaceful protests happened last summer. It must be hard to understand facts when you watch Fox.

@theodorethompson9032 2 жыл бұрын

@@midknight I turned off MSM long before last summer. But cities BURNING is not peaceful.

@theodorethompson9032 2 жыл бұрын

@@midknight i turned of all MSM long before last summer. But if people burning buildings and churches and such is peaceful well we can't really talk...

@theodorethompson9032 2 жыл бұрын

@@midknight but we have proof the same ANTIFI was in DC the 6th that were burning cities all summer. We have them on tape. We have their fliers. We knew their plans...

@laalaa99stl 2 жыл бұрын

I'm pretty sure Evie's kiss/vote would override even if the Twitter poll were reversed. 😂

@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 2 жыл бұрын

Thank goodness Evie vetoed the stash it looked awful! 🚫👨

@johan.ohgren 2 жыл бұрын

Like the electoral college...

@user-nf9xc7ww7m 2 жыл бұрын

Imagine if Stephen demanded that until Evie grew some facial hair thst he would not kiss her. Fairs fair 😋

@chino3796 2 жыл бұрын

I knew Evie would come through to get rid of the unsightly stache.

@SuziSatterfieldCDA 2 жыл бұрын

Because Evie is the hero we all need.

@itsflowerside 2 жыл бұрын

the italian accent wrecked me, i thought it was just gonna be an awful stereotypical mess but he actually really got some of the inflections right, i lost it.

@Neojhun 2 жыл бұрын

It was surprisingly not painful.

@moodyavocado5613 2 жыл бұрын

He was mocking the American idea of Italian culture so Olive Garden had to be involved.

@trishakauffman4621 2 жыл бұрын

"Tombstone pizza. With all the flavor of a graveyard." He's not wrong.

@RBickersjr 2 жыл бұрын

One thing about the new variant MU. From what I've read, it is on a downward trajectory having lost its dominance to the Delta variant. So there's that. ✌️

@kitcoffey7194 2 жыл бұрын

I'd feel better about 80%+ of 2 doses. Be sure to get all your doses to stop the spread!

@prezbige 2 жыл бұрын

I love getting vaccinated because it's like taking my immune system to the gym. Bigger faster stronger every day

@Stormingmiku 2 жыл бұрын

I doubt we will have 80%+ though, I think we will get close, but I don't think we can save a lot of the trumparinas and anti-vax jokes. A 4th of the country still hadn't gotten it, we can probably reduce that to a 6th at most.

@comment2009 2 жыл бұрын

In my area 86% have at least 1 dose, 80% fully vaccinated. Next door is a conservative town in the mid 70s, while on the other side a city w/ a relatively minority population yet church going at 70+ and climbing. Both were in the mid 60s about a month ago.

@Stormingmiku 2 жыл бұрын

@@comment2009 that's a surprise, must not be a large number of far right conservatives in the area if that's the case, lucky them.

@queerbotanicalqueen 2 жыл бұрын

@@Stormingmiku it could also mean that even though it’s right wing, they still care for their neighbors and fellow people. I hope. But, unfortunately, it’s less likely.

@nikobatallones 2 жыл бұрын

So, if the Mu variant mutates, will it be called MuTwo?

@Hawner 2 жыл бұрын

Wrong for obvious reasons, but clever anyways. I did not see that one coming. XDD

@laurie6123 2 жыл бұрын

Mr. Mu

@thebrightest1230 2 жыл бұрын

I am so thankful that I can still hear the producer guy laughing in the background like we could before the audience came back 😅

@mlghelp2day 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Evie! That caterpillar had to go away! 😆👏👏👏❤

@zesty9815 2 жыл бұрын

1:50 If the supply of new variants surpasses the supply of Greek letters, we might really have to start naming them after Pokémon characters.

@user-nf9xc7ww7m 2 жыл бұрын

Pika-ACHOO!

@bcshelby4926 2 жыл бұрын

...Ghastly would be appropriate one

@Kevin-iu8hl 2 жыл бұрын

So they finally respected Robert E. Lee's request for him and other confederates to not be remembered as a statues and monuments.

@maeannengo4908 2 жыл бұрын

Daughters of the Confederacy: Not like that

@u123881 2 жыл бұрын

and will erect statues of Epstein and Maxwell the metaphoric peoples' twin towers

@maeannengo4908 2 жыл бұрын

@@u123881 oooh so edgy

@u123881 2 жыл бұрын

@@maeannengo4908 Wished you would of thought of it I know.

@maeannengo4908 2 жыл бұрын

@@u123881 😂😂😂

@renren123451 2 жыл бұрын

Appreciating how the show says "man-made global warming", not merely "global warming". edit: whoa was only meaning to point it out the word "global warming" has been thrown around for at least two decades now but it's crazy that it somehow feels like beyond our control when human activities have contributed to it...like, wth does "hey, it's not just us" achieve? we can't throw rocks into a crowd and not realizing it'll hit somebody. didn't expect the replies but anyway it's been a few days, kissing the anons in the replies goodbye. hope everyone lives a good life.

@twonumber22 2 жыл бұрын

Ever read about County of Maui v. Hawaiʻi Wildlife Fund? Please do if you haven't.

@danm9390 2 жыл бұрын

And how is your “appreciating” translating into doing something?

@twonumber22 2 жыл бұрын

@@danm9390 What a stupid question. lol

@renren123451 2 жыл бұрын

@@danm9390 yes not much will be done :) things just don't change their course right away. emphasizing it's driven by human (as some of us know that many still deny it's caused by human) so people start to realize the extent of consequences and do what they can is along the lines of easy small changes.

@danm9390 2 жыл бұрын

@Owren Kwan - “appreciating” is essentially a way of saying you care without having to make a sacrifice. If you believe in man-made climate change then do something more than “appreciating” the acknowledgment.

@glnnchrstphr9717 2 жыл бұрын

Apparently Steven didn't learn his lesson last time he tried to grow a stache.

@glnnchrstphr9717 2 жыл бұрын

@hognoxious not really. It wasn't any better than this one. His wife said shave it off last time too. She doesn't like a stache on her hubby, some women just don't like facial hair. My first wife hated any facial hair as far as a beard and mustache but my second wife loved it when I was scruffy and unshaven. Go figure.

@MTMF.london 2 жыл бұрын

@@glnnchrstphr9717 I suppose because they are two different women? LOL

@arunpharyn1404 2 жыл бұрын

"I thought i was the whitest man" My dude, my little brother complains that Mayo is too spicy 😂😂😂

@beberivera7011 2 жыл бұрын

😭☠🥇

@LindaC616 2 жыл бұрын

@jeanneeber 2 жыл бұрын

"Happy wife-Happy life!" It's a no brainer.

@MrBrewman95 2 жыл бұрын

More like no wife, happy life. Not broke either.

@tommyt1971 2 жыл бұрын

“Followed by absolute fever and chills, followed by absolute loss of consciousness, followed by absolute induced coma and absolute ventilator…”

@offspring9087 2 жыл бұрын

are you talking about the breakthrough infections ? 😂 Never mind, go and pick up your booster for a sound sleep - it’s all based on science - isn’t it!?😂

@senicanastasia 2 жыл бұрын

Our school finally mandated masks when, in the first 9 days, there were 70 kids out due to COVID. The turning point was that they didn't want football season to be cancelled 🙄

@melindaphillips5724 2 жыл бұрын

🙄 I completely understand. Being from the South I've seen over and over how they protect the football teams but not the student population in general. Or the teachers. Makes me crazy!!🥴😕

@cc1k435 2 жыл бұрын

Whatever it takes to make reality finally sink in. 🙄

@hc768 2 жыл бұрын

The school has its priority right

@lilaclizard4504 2 жыл бұрын

Fair call :) In Australia the national football game GF had to be moved to the other side of the country to be able to be played in front of it's usual 60,000 crowd. No question the footy season there would have been impacted beyond repair if they didn't start trying to control it. No real evidence the masks are going to do all that's needed though is there! Biden should have stopped it getting into the country - that's what was done in the state the Aussie footy game is to be played in - in front of a maskless, unvaccinated full stadium

@melindaphillips5724 2 жыл бұрын

@@lilaclizard4504 Yea well Biden wasn't President when it came to this country! It squarely falls on tRump!!

@ReaverLordTonus 2 жыл бұрын

Finally, Robert E. Lee can rest in peace knowing his wish to not have a statue was finally granted. _"I think it wiser moreover not to keep open the sores of war, but to follow the examples of those nations who endeavored to obliterate the marks of civil strife & to commit to oblivion the feelings it engendered."_ - Robert E. Lee

@AnonymOus-ss9jj 2 жыл бұрын

Wait he DIDN'T want a statue! Now I'm seeing the old statue in a new light. Knowing that it was there to spite him, I want it back.

@Tustin2121 2 жыл бұрын

Anonym Ous - The statue wasn’t there specifically to spite him, but it was built against his wishes. Because Lee was gracious in defeat and wanted the country to heal, while the people who put up these confederate statues wanted instead the country to remain divided. It’s still a good idea to take the statues down.

@virginiatyree6705 2 жыл бұрын

Hey Tones, Thanks for the history lesson. My lesson for the day. v

@jayweh 2 жыл бұрын

oh wow, that's new information for me! thanks!

@sarahdodson5372 2 жыл бұрын

Yes, @Tustin2121 is exactly right. The monument was built as a symbol of white supremacy. In fact, there were tons of monuments built all over the country during the civil rights movement as a way of showing Black Americans that they will never gain equality. Thankfully, Richmond has opened its eyes, and has taken down every racist statue since the murder of George Floyd. The statue of Lee was the last to go and it was a huge point of contention because, Stephen was incorrect in saying the monument was located on capitol grounds... it was actually located on Monument Ave which is a beautiful street full of gorgeous million dollar houses. Unfortunately, the owners of these houses were worried that the removal of all of the monuments (Lee in particular) would lower the housing value. But ultimately, the city made the right choice and I couldn't be more proud to live here :) Also, it's pretty cool to see RVA recognized on The Late Show!

@richardfarwell6759 2 жыл бұрын

And, here I thought the MU variant came from Devin Nunes' Cow.

@brianmcmanus4690 2 жыл бұрын

That's a little harsh, don't you think? I mean, it's his wife and all and there's someone for everyone man.

@albertobarbieri117 2 жыл бұрын

Laughing out loud from Italy.

@doubleehokie 2 жыл бұрын

The Iowa fans are waving at the children watching the game while undergoing treatment in the children's hospital and they do this every game.

@RobbyM32CREW 2 жыл бұрын

Idiot mocking something built for kids that literally can’t leave their rooms, this guys a blow hard

@nathanodland2989 2 жыл бұрын

I think a more appropriate joke would've been, “Hi kids with vulnerable immune systems! It’s too much to protect you by wearing a mask or getting vaccinated, so we’ll just wave.” Too real? Too real?

@ccooper1969 2 жыл бұрын

The Wave has been created a few years ago before Covid. These kids are fighting cancer, and might not be around in the future. A smile and a wave showing love and support might bring these kids alittle happiness in this World. It's more about these kids who are fighting for their lives then a bunch of Adults and the decisions that are made

@nathanodland2989 2 жыл бұрын

@@ccooper1969 I don't have a problem with waving at the kids, it's the maskless unvaccinated people that are spreading a virus that could kill those kids that I have a problem with. That was the whole point of the joke. To point out the hypocrisy of waving to people you're doing nothing to protect

@theodorethompson9032 2 жыл бұрын

@@nathanodland2989 the vaccinated can spread the virus as well so what's the freaking point? Been a week and all the players are healthy.

@mikefromwa 2 жыл бұрын

A "shapeshifter" is when you see something that looks like a bat but then you look away, and when you look again it's Ted Cruz.

@thatswhatisaid8908 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you. It's been vaguely bothering me why i am reminded of someone evil whenever i see that nasty piece of work.

@TheRolexseller 2 жыл бұрын

Insulting to bats and vampires

@pg9193 2 жыл бұрын

@@TheRolexseller and ted cruz... but i s'pose that's point lol

@beth8775 2 жыл бұрын

Hey, bats are actually useful!

@jeannefoster5594 2 жыл бұрын

Heeeey! Quit dissing on bats!

@2332Stephen 2 жыл бұрын

I listen to Stevens monologue everyday I listen to it when I'm driving home from work at 3 a.m. it's the only thing that brings me Comfort right now

@Japanathan 2 жыл бұрын

Watch seth meyers too then same thing

@naomiwood1970 2 жыл бұрын

How is it comforting for u…

@naomiwood1970 2 жыл бұрын

It’s just bad news central

@2332Stephen 2 жыл бұрын

@@naomiwood1970 hes got charisma..his writers write great jokes and stephen knows how to deliver them effortlessly...it just works...his presentation is on point...seth and Jimmy just too unnatural...it feels like they're reading a prompt..stephen delivers his monologue as if it's off the top of his head..

@joeyjoe7930 2 жыл бұрын

@@2332Stephen Totally agreed! He’s my favorite host hands down! I listen to his monologue almost every day, too, and he makes me laugh every time. The writers are brilliant and his delivery is just on point!

@jonesball06 2 жыл бұрын

"There's a reason for everything we do here at the late show, it's all based on science." *Best line - Steve C.

@lyreparadox 2 жыл бұрын

reminds me so much of Portal 2

@QueenofNonSequitur 2 жыл бұрын

Love this man & the writers!

@undefined40 2 жыл бұрын

That Delta airlines CEO seems to be a suprisingly considerate person, avoiding a misunderstanding that would worsen even more the already quite bad reputation the new Covid variant has.

@kennywonglabow3547 2 жыл бұрын

This was clever and I appreciate you.

@jstnxprsn 2 жыл бұрын

LMAO Good one.

@petecutter 2 жыл бұрын

@paoloadam 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks man, it's amazing what a good laugh can do, and wonderful to still get one through a comment, after the monologue fell somewhat short...

@jstnxprsn 2 жыл бұрын

@@paoloadam I always read the comments for the Late Night Comics. Some of the best jokes can be found there. There are a surprising amount of brilliantly funny folks out here.

@BusterTucker 2 жыл бұрын

The whistle scared the living $#!t out of me I wasn't paying attention when Stephan blew it I jumped and nearly hit the ceiling!

@henrygvidonas9573 2 жыл бұрын

Damn headphones!

@jemiebridges3197 2 жыл бұрын

Now imagine how the audio guy with master sound must have felt 🤣

@BusterTucker 2 жыл бұрын

@@jemiebridges3197 I thought about that lucky for him he has one ear covered, I have 2 speakers in fromt & 2 behind me with a sub on the floor, I thought it was Robert E Lee and his horse 🐴 were at my front door!

@carolinah4348 2 жыл бұрын

That "the horse said 'NEEEIGHH'" - joke warmed my heart , and definitely made me laugh more than I'm proud to admit.

@ekdaufin1485 2 жыл бұрын

Yessss🐴

@BallerGirl_06 2 жыл бұрын

I laughed hard because I "saw" it coming, but didn't think he'd do it. 😂

@brianmorton9419 2 жыл бұрын

“Pants crapping, sometimes called code-brown” Someone remembers his role in monsters vs aliens

@screamingmimi90 2 жыл бұрын

Omg… this monologue alone is Emmy-worthy. 😆😆

@edwardcurl3856 2 жыл бұрын

And you are delusional

@pearlsaphier3458 2 жыл бұрын

No it's not. It's stupid & degrading.

@jeffbaer5851 2 жыл бұрын

That Syphilis Jam joke got me. Well played, Stephen's writers. Well played. A hit, a very palpable hit.

@davidanderson_surrey_bc 2 жыл бұрын

Goes well with chlamarmalade and superspreadable butt-er.

@damienalvarez2957 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you fellow fans and Evie! Haven’t seen a surprise stache that frightening since Mark Harmon had one as Gibbs.

@GalapagosPete 2 жыл бұрын

That wasn’t actually Traveler up there with Lee; apparently the artist guy thought Traveler was not impressive enough so he made up a horse. Yes, I was disappointed, too. I feel so used.

@vodostar9134 2 жыл бұрын

Damn, he's really "on" tonight. Great jokes. Great delivery.

@tonirivera3693 2 жыл бұрын

Completely agree 👍

@stephanies2239 2 жыл бұрын

that is why we watch since in this crazy world we live, we need a bit a laughable sanity

@pg9193 2 жыл бұрын

he rested well during vay-cay

@claytonstringman596 2 жыл бұрын

Hes a goofball

@raptango_na6199 2 жыл бұрын

I guess he didnt want to seem unfunny or waste political capital defending the Biden administration when he was hiding from the camera during the afghanistan withdrawal.

@chipsalom 2 жыл бұрын

I miss when "super spreader" was just a euphemism for someone really naughty.

@jarretheller2244 2 жыл бұрын

I knew a girl in college like that. very nice girl but her self-esteem wasn’t what it should’ve been to go with the looks she had. And she was reckless.

@peterdavis6006 2 жыл бұрын

AOC....LMAO

@sanctifiedsuccubus2562 2 жыл бұрын

@@jarretheller2244 Bruh don't remind me of my college years

@romulofigueroadiaz480 2 жыл бұрын

@@peterdavis6006 oh look the incel arrived

@omstout 2 жыл бұрын

Italy complains about unauthentic Italian food from U.S.A.; Where the actual F! did tomatoes come from? AMERICA!!!

@r.j.whitaker 2 жыл бұрын

Exactly 🍅 even after Europeans got the seeds,they didn't eat them initially. They grew them as ornamentals for a while 🤔 I'm not sure which European discovered they were delicious 😋 Meanwhile Aztecs: *yeah we eat these every day*

@generalZee 2 жыл бұрын

Just for the record, the Lee statue wasn't on "Capitol Grounds" as stated in this. It was actually on privately-owned land in the middle of town that was donated to Richmond eons ago on the condition they keep the statue there. That's why it's been so hard to take down.

@judycameron8208 2 жыл бұрын

So glad they are gone all of them Grew up reading lies THAT he was such a hero..I belived until. Found out ,He wasn't a hero at all . AND NOW WE HAVE TO , AS A TRUE COUNTRY WHO DOES NOT CARE TO HEAR ANY MORE LIES. CHECK IT OUT YOUR SELF..READ THE REAL VICTORY OF GETTIN RID OF SO CALLED HEROS LIKE HIM

@sirmoonslosthismind 2 жыл бұрын

it's public land, and the fact that it used to be private is irrelevant, as is the reason the private land was donated to the state. this was not a difficult issue, as the virginia supreme court recognized in a unanimous ruling. the government has always has the right to violate prior agreements. past elected officials can't handcuff the people's current representatives.

@AnnoyingMoose 2 жыл бұрын

As a man with a full beard I assure everyone that the only vote that really matters when considering facial hair is what the woman in your life thinks.

@CJA32able 2 жыл бұрын

Very heteronormative sir. 😂

@kratosaurion002 2 жыл бұрын

Yo didn't deserve it anyway

@telectronix1368 2 жыл бұрын

@@CJA32able Get over yourself. Stastically, since most people are indeed straight cis, it is hardly earth-shattering to refer to **the most common scenario** for 'man with a beard'

@16tangerines 2 жыл бұрын

@@telectronix1368 thanks for breaking down what heteronormative means, i guess? "of or relating to the world view that promotes heterosexuality as the normal or preferred sexual orientation"

@Emanon... 2 жыл бұрын

My wife forbids me to have a shorter beard than 8 mm. We tried it, and she got a rash every time we kissed. So I hear ya, brother.

@luuketaylor 2 жыл бұрын

The Crazy Calzony joke got me laughing good and hard. These writers are the ones who are to be marched down the street as kings of comedy.

@alissacheck4194 2 жыл бұрын

Its already established that his wife hates his mustaches. He keeps trying, but I don't think Evie is gonna ever approve.

@ewolfgirl 2 жыл бұрын

FYI: The Robert E Lee statue wasn’t on the Capitol grounds in Richmond, VA. It was in a traffic circle on Monument Ave, which had quite a few confederate statues. Lee was the largest and last to come down, due to lawsuits about it being on privately-owned land.

@katiehettinger7857 2 жыл бұрын

Traffic circles are public.

@mikefromwa 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Evie, you're a hero!

@cherylsibson2529 2 жыл бұрын

Steven, You've reminded me of one year my Dad had to grow a beard and mustache for a part in "Brigadoon" and he and my mother had curlers in their hair and beard, ok so Mom tolerated it for 6 weeks for a show, what really matters is what is comfort? And when she went bald when she had brain tumors she got a lovely little hat and was comfortable with the hat. Glad you had fun doing your Monologue.

@walterzamalis4846 2 жыл бұрын

I just realised how bad it is for Delta to share the same name as Delta. That’s super unfair for them to be compared to such a shitty airline

@aceofspades9503 2 жыл бұрын

And Corona. Its super unfair to be so close in name to a terrible beer.

@karenwatkins655 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Evie! You saved Late Night with Stephen Colbert for me.

@LisaLisa001 2 жыл бұрын

This episode has to win something, I wanna thank the writers for these jokes.

@citybird29 2 жыл бұрын

Italy complaining about pasta from America meanwhile Spaghetti westerns : “ calm down my Italian friend”

@thatsright5949 2 жыл бұрын

No One wants this extremely, unhealthy, fattening, garbage, America is feeding Us 🤮😫😥 Go Figure 💔

@Elephantstonica 2 жыл бұрын

Well if the US pasta surpasses the Italian pasta in quality, your statement might then have equal comparison. Besides, the best pasta really ought to only come from one’s own hands.

@666Tomato666 2 жыл бұрын

@@Elephantstonica "Well if the US pasta surpasses the Italian pasta in quality" since when adding high-fructose corn syrup to pasta makes it better?

@Elephantstonica 2 жыл бұрын

@@666Tomato666 Umm, Never.

@666Tomato666 2 жыл бұрын

@@Elephantstonica *precisely*

@shieh.4743 2 жыл бұрын

Mu actually "peaked in July" in America and was outcompeted by Delta. What the CDC is keeping an eye on is a combination of Mu (which looks to.escape immunity) and Delta (which is very transmissible).

@Natalia-un4hu 2 жыл бұрын

Italian here: we forgive you thanks to this heartfelt declaration from Stephen 😁

@LupinLovebites 2 жыл бұрын

>>holding moment of silence for Corona beer

@Sigart 2 жыл бұрын

Corona beer had a surge in sales in Denmark just when the pandemic started.

@julieholt7889 2 жыл бұрын

Literally crying from laughing at the “misguided attempt to de-stigmatize mental illness…” Or I could be crying thanks to the mental illness brought on by the past five+ years of torture.

@mattsoreng3066 2 жыл бұрын

My last name is holt also, do you have any family in Birmingham AL or Little rock Arkansas or mobile AL.

@Cthulhu4President 2 жыл бұрын

@@mattsoreng3066 You legit sound like you're trying to hit on her because you thought she might be your cousin.

@madyjules06 2 жыл бұрын

Julie, right there with you sister (I think we’re all nuts, to some degree, by now) 🤣

@jenvicinity9143 2 жыл бұрын

I sincerely believe that many Americans have some level of PTSD from the craziness and some level of stress over T and the GQP along with covid. Same is true for many Canadians... it really has been like living above the downstairs neighbour who's running a meth lab. Please goodness things calm way down asap.

@kellyoradio5029 2 жыл бұрын

Wow, somebody laughed at Colbert. That's an achievement.

@whaleymom76 2 жыл бұрын

You know the interesting thing about the Robert E. Lee statue is that Robert E. Lee very publicly spoke out against statues memorializing the past. He wouldn't have wanted to be memorialized that way.

@DavidJordao 2 жыл бұрын

I feel like when Stephen was growing a stash, he was like a teenager trying to show people how grown up he was

@northernmichiganjen2372 2 жыл бұрын

Buhahah! 💯🤪

@dianaprince1347 2 жыл бұрын

So glad you're back, and the stache is GAWN!

@rosesmith6925 2 жыл бұрын

My husband always had a beard and moustache in some form or other, like lambchops in the 70's but thank goodness never a goatee, the whole time I knew him. When our daughter was about 16 he shaved it all off except for the moustache and she flipped. Told him to "put it back like it's supposed to be!" Bless her heart cause I hated it too but didn't have the heart to say so 😂😂

@jjetta264 2 жыл бұрын

I am with Evie regarding the mustache. It didn't look good on you. And, you could hardly see it on television because it was silver. Your still funny as ever. I love you, and you are the best.

@marlontransporter 2 жыл бұрын

Syphilis Jams...... nothing spreads like Syphilis! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

@sacrilegiousboi 2 жыл бұрын

"I think it wiser," the retired military leader wrote about a proposed Gettysburg memorial in 1869, "…not to keep open the sores of war but to follow the examples of those nations who endeavored to obliterate the marks of civil strife, to commit to oblivion the feelings engendered."

@semanticsdictionary 2 жыл бұрын

My dad rocked a stash for like 40 years. When he shaved it off it was not only the first time I’ve seen his upper lip, but also my moms first time. And she was less entertained than I was, by a lot. Lol

@neerajamb 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Evie! That stache had to go

@beriukay 2 жыл бұрын

One thing I miss about the quarantine times is being able to hear Stephen's final sentence of the segment.

@susanhowie2796 2 жыл бұрын

Never disappoints,!!! Always puts a smile on my face!!!

@dianaclark3698 2 жыл бұрын

Me, getting ready to click the video: "Please don't have a mustache, please don't have a mustache." [Video plays] Oh thank God.

@kenc2257 2 жыл бұрын

If your luck/wishes aren't all used up, consider buying a lottery ticket...

@JB-fd6gr 2 жыл бұрын

Yay! Evie & Steven happily ever after! This is the news we needed!

@Haijwsyz51846 2 жыл бұрын

Love your monologue. Your monologue is my news source because I feel I can get the true story. And I love the wit of your joke and delivery.

@Jedsa009 2 жыл бұрын

Animal "Shapeshifting" in response to climate change. Expecting my koi fishes transform into Gyarados soon.

@pffftnames9047 2 жыл бұрын

_Splash_ _Splash_

@RabblesTheBinx 2 жыл бұрын

You should probably hope they don't.

@jameshightower1249 2 жыл бұрын

Damn, John Baptiste is the best dressed man in America.

@kenc2257 2 жыл бұрын

Also, Steve Harvey.

@_JayRamsey_ 2 жыл бұрын

Fucking love that guy

@FinneousPJ1 2 жыл бұрын

Probably not

@fran5043 2 жыл бұрын

Jon’s the goat

@screamingmimi90 2 жыл бұрын

Yes! Fabulous.

@DerVogel361 2 жыл бұрын

11:49 I think Jon Batiste and Stay Human playing the Mario Star theme is my favourite thing now...

@anitagee3362 2 жыл бұрын

I'm glad they have a healthy, happy relationship, they LISTEN to each other 💛

@pamelalaneschreiber5938 2 жыл бұрын

So rare