Coming Out Story Part 6--Trip Down Memory Lane

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3 жыл бұрын

My journey to an authentic life continues! A couple notes:
1. I myself never had the teacher whom my coworker brought up, so it is possible my coworker was exaggerating. Nonetheless, my coworker should have chosen his words more carefully.
2. When I say that people undermined my masculinity, I am not saying that I necessarily strive to be masculine--I think the association of masculinity with males and femininity with females is an outdated, unhealthy perspective. Nevertheless, I have observed how expectations on gendered behavior can lead to internalized homophobia.
Part 1 of my coming out story: • Coming Out Story Part 1
Part 7: • Coming Out Story Part ...
Also, a documentary that I highly recommend: "Homo Say What," released in 2019. It takes a sociological approach in looking at how LGBTQ+ prejudice became prevalent and the lasting impacts today.

Пікірлер: 35

@davidward805 2 жыл бұрын

I am a retired professor and often counseled students. I have also been told that I would have been a good therapist, and often help my friends out.

@ericsteennielsen 3 жыл бұрын

I really do appreciate what you are doing with your series. It really helps having someone else telling in depth about these topics. I agree that words matter - a lot, they mattered to me. I could only wish for the future that every parent would make sure that their children knew from an early age that it wouldn't matter how they identified in regard to sexuel orientation or gender. I wish you a happy new year 👍

@calvindavis3641 3 жыл бұрын

Hi Tanner. I really liked the way you broke things down around words we hear and their impact. And dealing with other people after coming out. I can tell you handle yourself in a very mature way and that’s the best thing we can learn. People can’t always control themselves in what they say or how they say it. We should always be prepared to be confronted or having to let someone know what’s not okay. Applied properly, it can be an easy conversation.

@tannereustace 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! Indeed, the conversation can be easy if both people are mature about it. I think the things I talked about in my video have made me scared that others cannot handle this topic in a sophisticated manner, but many of the people I have talked about my sexuality with have been mature :)

@JChrisTurner1234 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your personal coming out story, Tanner. You are wise beyond your years and use great examples that I know will help others that are thinking about coming out. Though I am much older, you are my new hero and inspiration. You present your thoughts so well and clearly. I know your message is helping other young people that are struggling. Thank you for being the wonderful person you are. If you ever need someone to talk to or lean on, I'm here.

@tannereustace 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! I noticed you sent a Facebook friend request, I wasn’t quite comfortable accepting it since we don’t know each other, but you can always feel free to contact me at tanner.j.eustace@gmail.com!

@alexanderirizarry-camarill6277 3 жыл бұрын

Wow, sounds like my dad? My dad was so big on gender roles and behavior, from walking Ike a girl, to holding a coffee mug. It was crazy. How has your relationship grown? You’re very mature, and very masculine, not to label. It’s just we all need to be aware of the words we use? Be well and stay safe. Alex from LA

@tannereustace 3 жыл бұрын

I guess it’s complicated as there’s not just one way to fix the issue. Language is constantly evolving, and it can be tricky when differentiating the harmless from the offensive. That’s interesting our fathers are similar in that regard-during the time period when they grew up, there was probably a lot of gender role reinforcement starting at a young age. The masculinity thing is also interesting as I definitely have some traits that would not really be considered masculine (e.g. I am not interested in most sports and I love certain female musical artists-you’ll know what I mean regarding my piano covers lol)

@alexanderirizarry-camarill6277 3 жыл бұрын

@@tannereustace thank you for the response, you are truly wise beyond your years! I hope things are going well for you? Should you ever need anything, let me know, I got your back! Continued support in your music...I totally like the term not straight, since I too don’t like labels of any sort. Blessings as we all continue moving forward in this pandemic. Alex 💙

@danmills3273 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the update on your journey to an authentic life. Last update I saw was #4, so it's nice to learn that now your mother knows. Every step you take will lighten the burden. You seem so down-to-earth about things the way you carefully analyze the past and speak optimistically about how you are fitting in with friends in college. I ditto the remarks made by Eric and Calvin below. You mentioned Callum Scott as an out musician who helps our cause. Another is Chase Sansing, an out country singer who produced a nice pride video about two years ago and has a number of good covers and original work on his KZfaq channel.

@tannereustace 3 жыл бұрын

Much appreciated 🙂 Thanks for letting me know about Chase! Representation in the media is always important!

@kechiotta5349 3 жыл бұрын

Awesome video. Your coming out series really help to easily breakdown misconceptions about the LGBT community. I know how awful sometimes it is to recall past events about some homophobicic terms but the way you analyse it is great. Sometimes people make homophobic jokes not knowing it could internally harm a closeted person, once I knew about this I immediately cautioned myself. I'm a member of the LGBT community but I have learned to caution my words even to other various communities out there.

@tannereustace 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for being so open! Indeed, people tend to say things where the impact on someone else is not the same as the intent. Language is certainly a powerful thing!

@Bortnoone 3 жыл бұрын

You seem to be a nice, sensitive, intelligent person. Enjoyed your video.

@MEVMontana 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Tanner. The more coming out videos I watch the more skeptical I grow about "labeling" people. Regards Martin

@tonyworrall7379 3 жыл бұрын

Language can be the worst weapon on occasions. Good video Tanner

@davidward805 2 жыл бұрын

I am so glad that I found you! You are so intelligent! I really like the way that you think.

@danielreichert7148 3 жыл бұрын

Tanner I really enjoy your updates keep up the good work also if you listen to podcasts I think you would like this one if you could look it up it’s called Geeky Gay...God Bless Dan

@rjcarter2904 3 жыл бұрын

Words matter--a LOT! I'm sorry you had those experiences. By the way, Tanner, where did you grow up?

@guyinawheelchair9648 3 жыл бұрын

Awesome! Thanks❤

@guyinawheelchair9648 3 жыл бұрын

I'm gay

@davidward805 2 жыл бұрын

By the way I am also a musician, and taught music at my college.

@dr.frankschneider8486 3 жыл бұрын

Hey Tanner, I think you are a wonderful boy. I wish you that you will find your dream prince. Enjoy your life, every minute, every hour and every day. All the best and luck in the world for you and your future.

@rjcarter2904 3 жыл бұрын

I guess I'd also say about your mom that it's very hard to unlearn what you grew up with socio-culturally. Call it implicit bias or whatever, but it become a natural response that is hard to suppress with new knowledge.

@davidward805 2 жыл бұрын

I don’t like to put personal things here because it is a public site. I went to your private Insta site and asked to follow you. Maybe we can correspond there.

@tannereustace 2 жыл бұрын

Sorry just saw this! That Insta account is not actually mine, but I have Facebook and my email should be in my KZfaq description :)

@guyinawheelchair9648 3 жыл бұрын

Can we talk please?

@tannereustace 3 жыл бұрын

Please feel free to email me at tanner.j.eustace@gmail.com!

@guyinawheelchair9648 3 жыл бұрын

@@tannereustace I can't read your email address sorry

@tannereustace 3 жыл бұрын

Oh weird! My email is also featured in the “about” section of my channel, but you can also feel free to comment your email!