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Summary 3 Common Mistakes: 1. Don’t try to impress people 2. Don’t try to win a debate 3. Don’t complain to connect Best Way to Make Friends is be a friend. 5 Ways to be more likeable: 1. Take a genuine interest in other people 2. Be easy to talk to 3. Listen more, talk less 4. Look for common grounds 5. Follow up

I love that "be a blessing to other people"

I’ve been a listener all my life. A problem I've encountered is people for whom others are an audience rather than an equal. I’ve had to distance people because their 20 minute monologues aren’t conversation and in fact are very stressful.

"Be a blessing." "Be a giver not a taker". Excellent advice!

"The Best Way To Make Friends Is To Be A Friend" - Alex Lyon

I feel that being overly friendly put me in position of low status.

Great advice. Listening actually works on many levels. The main problem comes when people obviously have extreme differences in opinions, assumptions and personality where friendliness just looks and feels pathetic. In these instances, a lot of people are just faking niceness to make sure the job gets done. Of course, this is still productive in a corporate society. However, lets not be fooled in thinking that the other person does not know what you are doing, consciously or subconsciously. Intuition usually senses the truth anyways. The best thing would be to just listen neutrally rather than trying to be friendly.

Alex? I think there are more than a few good reasons I have come across your channel! And I already know that this lesson is one of the most important... I am 51 years old and am just learning that "the road to hell is paved with good intentions!" Being too nice can be a bad thing, so looking forward to learning as much as possible!

I love your tips a lot. This will surely help me to be a better person for myself and for others. Thank you, coach.

I wanna thank you very much, I'm getting information easily from you and I learned a lot from your videos. God bless you coach :)

From an interactive video you and Lisa had, I followed you here and found your videos so informative and helpful. The tips shared in this videos particularly are the incredible relationship-building life lessons that we all should learn and reflect. I shared it with my family. Thank you so much!

I’m always looking for common ground with people and your suggestion brought up a happy memory for me. One time while traveling, my husband and I stopped into a sketchy looking taco shop. We were standing in line with some really gigantic and heavily tattooed men who did not look approachable at all. Believe it or not, I asked one of the guys who the fighter was who bit a guys ear off. This got a conversation off and running and we honestly talked non-stop about life and purpose and growing and evolving. It went so deep and was so meaningful! Love the practice of finding common ground. 🙏❤️

I do this with my mom and she really love me ❤️

It's incredible how amazing your content is... All the videos I usually get recommended feel so inauthentic but finally found some content that has valuable and practical advice.. thank you so much.

Brilliant. I've always had trouble connecting -- probably because I'm guilty of the don't you mentioned. But I long to be a blessing, not a burden.

I still need reminding. Thankyou so much Alex 🙏

Excellent advice, with a very effective delivery. Thanks for your ministry.

Fantastic! Thanks for sharing precious insights! Good bless you 😊

A video for lifetime! Thank you.

I share that same motto... Be a BLESSING 🤗

Thank you Coach Alex! Keep it up for LL those benefitting from following you (without pressing the FOLLOW button!) I know many!

I can't get over when a person who you are courteous to, responds indifferently. First impressions are everything...is so true. I just call them out, because if I didn't I would mirror this behaviour

I love the way you teach.

Great video!! I learned a lot with this one. Thank you!!

Love your videos! Please keep making them!!!

Wow I believe am really that likable person 😄😄😄 Bcoz I don't do the things as u said like being someone to impress and debating and complaining ... Even though I always try to get impress in peoples And for debating I always care for the peoples for respect ... And complaining more off I always try to solve the issue ... And I do everything as u said ... 1st for most is matching I mean finding the common ground And then taking peoples in interest way ....

Before one minute i was watching conversation between you and lisa and now am here immediately

Great advice! Thank you. 💖

Thank you! This video helped me a lot!

You are so likable coach 💚💚💚

Thank you for sharing its true we must give to get more of goodness from the other person

You look More Likable than the rest of the KZfaqrs too

Thanks you for this sound advice. God bless you for this

Maybe this is the reason why they always wanted to be with me. Hahah lol. I guess you can still listen to a person who is a complainer but guard yourself, if you really want to be more like-able you should know how to drive a conversation. So that, you can make a new friend. :) I always carefully listen to my colleagues when they’re sharing stories about their lovelife, work, family and their plans in life. I make sure that they know that I am listening by asking question, nodding, showing my genuine reaction, and empathy but sometimes after the meet up I felt so exhausted. You know what I’ve learned? Learn to guard yourself and don’t absorb everything. Next is for you to feel complete or satisfied is to share your own story or experience. This is also for you to be more comfortable to the person that you met or to your friend. Thank you, coach Alex!

Great tips! That line complainer person always just makes me feel uncomfortable and I tend to try to avoid further communication/eye contact with that person. Definitely good point there!

Its actually pretty simple: LISTEN MORE, TALK LESS & ALLOW people to BE WHO THEY ARE. STAY UNITED NOT DIVIDED. 💙🇺🇸🌏

Excellent set of instructions that actually work! I have completed your communication coaching and would like to share my ways of engaging with the situation so that I could practice. Easy to say but much harder to do. I wished I had an electro-mechanical wristband which would send a mechanical signal every time I failed to act as per your instructions! Instead, I decided to wear a yellow band (R U OK band, popular in Melbourne) which would instantly remind me to a) there is an opportunity to practice, b) take a compose and speak candidly rather than rushing to make a comments to justify my presence in a conversation, which obviously would set the impression opposite! It's training, it's working slowly. The challenge is to disengage myself while I had already forced one leg forward, come back with a composed approach, and apply again. By the time I realised, the situation already took place.

I really love your videos, Alex. I always learn something valuable. It's really inspiring for me to see someone who creates content on comms skills experience success like this on KZfaq. Thanks for putting your stuff out there. 🙏😀

Excellent information !! Children would also benefit from how to communicate kindly

I am practicing these tips now in my life. Thank you!

Nice & simple . Thank you

Thanks!

coach Alex, you're the best

Excellent advice

amazing, thank you!

This is so great! You are the best!

This was so simple yet to the point and helpful! One of the questions that comes up in my Leadership Training is how to be more likable as a leader and these five steps are perfect! Mr. Lyon I would love to interview you regarding your steps and how to incorporate them into better work place communication. I will take as much or as little time as you have!

thanks for these videos.

I learned how to communicate by complaining. It's a really hard habit to break!

Thank very much for sharing

Just be yourself!!

Great video Alex.

I wanna thanks to you .. I learned a lot from your videos

Great tips. Thank you

Great advice!!

I love these suggestions. Something I struggle with, tho… where is the line between finding common ground and one up-ing. When someone says something that I’ve also done or am interested in, it feels like common ground to share my experience. But I worry that it is perceived as me trying to turn the conversation to myself. Where is the line between a give and take conversation and one upping. I try really hard to be polite and considerate of other peoples’ opinion, their feelings, their space… so much so that I have been called a doormat. I guess there is a fine line there, one that I’m not picking up on. There is another aspect that I deal with, that I don’t feel you address… social and financial position. I am constantly in the position of dealing with people who have power over me or feel they do because they have more money… a lot more money. Do you feel like that changes things or is that in my mind?

So odd and interesting. I didn’t think I was “1 upping” when I shared something relatable to the person sharing with me. I thought I was connecting with them with a similar experience I had, I saw that as me connecting or resonating with him or her. I think I also saw it as actively listening. Hmm I want to pay attention to this. I definitely don’t want to appear as I’m 1 upping someone. Nor do I want to make it all about me. I seemingly have so much to learn 💖

I do not consider friendship as an investment. I consider it an life attitude, in a sense, I would never try to be a friend to someone just to benefit from it, while not really liking him/her. Because such falsification touches deeper levels of subconsciousness and poisons it.

One point about finding common ground::: My whole life I thought I was finding common ground with people and being relatable. I recently found out people think I’m “One Upping” them. 😢 I had no idea. Definitely wasn’t my intention. So be careful with this one.

This was very therapeutic for me

I literally was doing everything wrong and people still like me, lol. Great video I'm going to try to be a better friend to my friends.

Showing interest is done wrong so often it will sound like an interrogation or uninterested dismissiveness, “how’s work? Yea, so did I ever tell you…”

Great advice

Awesome videos god bless you

Your content is excellent and has helped me become a much better communicator whilel at the same time creating stronger bonds with my coworker s. I do have a question. Is it inappropriate to say God bless to somebody if you do not know their faith, belief system, or lack thereof?

Just came across this channel. (No, not like that you perverts) Great information. Alex is a very compelling speaker. The kind of dude I'd definitely have a beer with. 😎🇦🇺 God bless

Thumbnail contradict Title😆 Nice Information... Thanks

"make direct eye contact" Why you have to attack me like that 😂

got me hyped for between two ferns rection

I am very grateful for you videos Coach Alex, I am dealing with a lot of stress however and a bad actress so it always seems to come through when I communicate. Any suggestions?

I ponder what you think about ghosting and people who don’t respond to text messages or phone calls? How long is it acceptable for someone to ignore us ? 1 week, 2 weeks or a month? I don’t know why a lot of people I meet have been very unreliable in their communication.! They say one thing and do the opposite. They tell me they call me soon to get together and get a coffee but I don’t hear from them ever again. I have leap to eliminate such people from my life. I feel it is not a acceptable behavior period.

What are your thoughts about recent revalations as to how social media profited most on people whom were spreading negative things because those posts and such got the most attentiin? Just wondering 😁

Listening more is the best thing one can do. Unfortunately in this case you might miss to talk at all.

That's interesting, I do all these things all my life, but always after a few months my friends are starting to be competitive, I even have this with family. This is why I don't have friends and contact with family, they see me as competition. And that's not how it should be. It's sad.

I have been seeing a guy only about six months and it seems he is most interested, comfortable and attentive when I AM COMPLAINING! May I ask you what you suspect gives? I have a couple theories but it is concerning and unattractive to me for a few reasons and I would be most grateful to hear your thoughts. Thank you!!

My problem is that I don't talk enough. 🙃 I'm always listening. Do you have any tips on how I can communicate and talk more in a group conversation?

"A man who has friends must show himself friendly" Proverbs 18:24. Caveat being too friendly.

Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

I discovered this channel from AccurateEnglish

👏👏👏

Hearing what it takes to be likable really reinforce my decision not to be 😂👍

I learned in dbt skills... validation validation, " sounds ( insert emotion) Whatever emotion tye person is going through...

Some people hate being asked questions about themselves.

I'm a good listener and easy to talk to. However i find it hard to strike up a conversation 'cus i feel invisible (not being noticed) among people. So is there any tips to change that?

Next how-to should be how to end a conversation when the other person has hemmed you in for over an hour and your ears are full, without getting them angry or hurt. PS You may have already covered this, but I have just discovered this channel. If you (he) has, I’d appreciate directions to it.

Obey Givernment, right

The follow-up. So many fall short.

Then more people would want to be around me, yukio.

What’s the difference between wanting to be likeable and be seen as desperate or having that friendship taken advantage of?

Let's try to find a common ground.

I have been in meetings with well-educated people, and they discuss back and forth. I do not care. I space out, doing actual work. Decisions are not made in meetings but by those who implement them.

👍

What if the other party is trying to impress me and he is doing everything to be unlikable? Should I smile it off? Btw great video I just discovered this channel and the more I watch the more I realize I knew nothing about communication.(used "I" 4 times in one sentence; Is it bad?) Thanks!

I like so many people just fine and still don’t re-engage, unless I have to. I don’t show my genuine interest often. Hmmm

tip 30: let him win the chess match

#1 Don’t be hateful

I get the follow up but sometimes people expect one to be normal and when you are not they judge. I can't afford to on holidays so I lie that I did and then they come with the follow up .. awkard.

Yay chess! 🎉

💎🙏💎