Compassion and Setting and Holding clear Boundaries (from research by Brene Brown)

Рет қаралды 2,610

2 ай бұрын

This video explains the connection between being compassionate and good at setting clear boundaries. It covers the reasons why people who show compassion are often better at establishing and upholding boundaries, offers advice on how to improve these skills, and discusses the benefits for personal and professional relationships. Ideal for those interested in emotional intelligence and its impact on interpersonal dynamics.
Hi, I’m Conor Neill, I speak and write about Persuasion, the art of Moving People to Action. I have the privilege of being father to two great little daughters. I live in Barcelona, Spain.
Questions? Ideas? Tweet me: / conorneill
Visit my channel for more videos: kzfaq.info...
Conor is a sought-after keynote speaker on Leadership. He teaches Leadership Communications at IESE Business School and is the President of Vistage in Spain, part of the world’s leading CEO organisation. As an entrepreneur, he has founded 5 companies, selling 16 private jets and building the 3rd largest fleet of private jets in Spain. He is a visiting professor at University College Dublin, the University of Montevideo and Permanent Faculty on Entrepreneurs’ Organisation’s Global Leadership Academy.
What is Persuasion?
* What does it take to move people to action?
* What does it take to have impact when you communicate?
* How can I inspire the people around me to be the best version of themselves?
These are questions that I answer. I answer these questions with tools that work for politicians, business leaders, entrepreneurs and professors.
Where do I begin?
The Complete Guide to Personal Habits: 158 Positive Reflections in 7 Categories to Be The Best Version of Yourself bit.ly/1Z3baAz
10 Personal Habits of Resilient People bit.ly/2N0PqsQ
14 Things Highly Productive People Do Differently bit.ly/2MXWdU9
Simple Rules for Effective Meetings bit.ly/2N8A2KK
6 Ways to get your Email Ignored bit.ly/2MXWCpD
17 Daily personal habits for a fulfilling life bit.ly/2MXWM0d
Free Speaking Course bit.ly/speakpractice
Speak as a Leader is an email driven course. You will learn to deliver speeches that are interesting and lively so that you can capture and maintain your audience’s attention.

Пікірлер: 24

@tomaszsapalski5255 2 ай бұрын

Two thoughts from me: one is to work on self-respect. That was a struggle for me for many years, and I am on a journey where I give myself permission to say "No" to people in power. But it takes years and a conscious decision each time, and permission from myself to say no. So, working on self-respect is significant and can help. The second thought is that to set your boundaries, you have to reach them. From my personal experience, I used to say yes too often. And I finally started saying no when I began to respect myself more. That is how I encountered one boundary. But I started liking to say no and started declining too many things. And I reached a point where I pushed too many people away. So, I discovered my other boundary. And I started saying yes again. Now, I know where my yes and no boundaries are, and I know I don't want to reach the extremes again. I can also recognize the signals when I am getting close, so I can change direction. I'm not sure if this is the best strategy, but I still think you need to reach your limits to know where they are and stay between them.

@hannaraoul7731 2 ай бұрын

Don't want to make any philosophy now. Here, we are so almost great. Almost. We need helping hands around, hands like mine 🙏🏻 ❤ Have a good day

@annrosen9597 2 ай бұрын

Thank you Conor. Excellent advice. Not always easy in practice. I am a therapist and perhaps too eager to help patients with their struggles and neglect time boundaries. A valuable lesson!

@Ismail-tn5wt 2 ай бұрын

These are two things we struggle with. We like to stay friendly and welcoming, however, we also need time to work on our own projects or personal development. Finishing a book might require closing your door or politely declining a friend's invitation. Balancing passion and clear boundaries seems challenging😊. Thank you Conor, your lessons are always amazing.

@amidlifejourney 2 ай бұрын

I just wanted to congratulate you for creating this channel. I appreciate how you deliver all messages!

@arthurthomasware5004 2 ай бұрын

The ability to quickly determine how much time and effort will be required of us when a situation to be compassionate arises is an important factor. To help, or quickly teach, or show someone how to do something, against weeks or even months of time on our part. Are we instructing? Or are we coaching or mentoring long term? To decide to help or say no firmly, I'd say could play a big part here, in determining whether we find ourselves feeling imposed upon.

@HeavenestStCyr 2 ай бұрын

5:35-5:45 is such a good question to make you think

@OliviaSchofield 2 ай бұрын

I really enjoyed your video today Conor. I consider myself a very compassionate person. I also am a person who is not very good at organizing and structuring my time and space and setting boundaries. I've always considered you as being very good with boundaries. 😆I am constantly being asked for advice and help, and I give with pleasure what I can manage. OK, often more than I can manage. However, I also think that the givers of this world are the biggest receivers. I have received from others, yourself included and giving back is part of the paying it forward. I would be very interested in hearing Brene's talk on this correlation. Setting boundaries to protect yourself and your creativity/productivity/ sanity. I think I just adjust the amount of giving depending on my requirements. I do think it's about self respect. What time or inputs do I need to take for myself. I come across many people good with boundaries, but not so good with compassion. 😂

@juliovildosola1075 2 ай бұрын

A particularly tough issue this boundary setting. Whilst being far from perfect myself, I have found that explicitly laying out the boundaries seems to work. Easier to do with the family than with friends though.

@ConorNeill 2 ай бұрын

great to hear from you! hope the surf is good ;-)

@mariannemaili 2 ай бұрын

Believe people when they tell you about themselves. Trust your instincts for more or less space. Speak clearly, firmly, and kindly about your needs.. Respect your intuition. I think it's an ongoing and changing learning, this boundary thing. Flexibility is an asset. Speaking only about yourself and respecting others desires. Asking questions invites engagement and shows interest and curiosity about others boundaries, too. BB is an inspiration with her research and experience and willingness. I find her books helpful. Thanks for sharing your experience and questioning!

@mustakizahzakaria6800 2 ай бұрын

Thank you for knowledge sharing in this digital platform for continuous learning in the digital world

@StevenWebb 2 ай бұрын

I did a speech a few years ago and I was talking about unconditional love (which I'm still working on) and an audience member said how can you have unconditional love in a relationship? And I said something to the words of, and it seemed to go down quite well. The love that I have tried to give is unconditional, a relationship is a different entity altogether alike and still love unconditionally that partner but the relationship has conditions and boundaries. So I guess the moral I realised is that boundaries don't have to be sacrificial in every part of your life just reflective of certain parts, a boundary work is different at home. I hope that makes sense.

@jagannathshenoy8538 2 ай бұрын

Thank you Conor sir.

@-igor- 2 ай бұрын

Turns out, I am still learning setting and holding boundaries. Your videos help me to sort the things out. Thanks!

@sirajkhoso8564 2 ай бұрын

You are great Connor ❤❤❤. Love you

@Elquesomasrico 2 ай бұрын

This is a very interesting topic for me. I would like to share my view as i am trying to understand it aswell. The first step for setting and holding boundaries in any relationship is understanding your own needs. The second step is understanding how do that needs fit into the relationship and the needs of the other participants, to consider the possibility of adapting your needs to that specific context. The third step is communicating them to the relevant person, in the right time and space and in a positive way. It is important to have time to talk, to explain your situation and also to listen to the other parts involved. That is how i am implementing it myself.

@KMC8873 Ай бұрын

Thank you Conor

@ConorNeill Ай бұрын

glad it helps!

@foxeedobarrad3974 2 ай бұрын

❤️❤️👍

@hannaraoul7731 2 ай бұрын

Boundaries defined by breath or luck of it. When we cross from one state to another the boundaries take a very clear form, that's why I support a lot, too much I suppose yet I just see the eyes close and open. Misunderstanding

@nasrijemal4374 2 ай бұрын

I am the superior of my friends when I want them to follow me to do something important, and I find sometimes them trying to do the same thing; asking me to follow them to somewhere. But when I found out that their proposal is not so important for me I used to refuse to follow them. So can we say that can be good- boundaries? 😅

@lorenzoward946 2 ай бұрын

Look, my mother used to complain that I grew up as a self-centered person. But I am also gifted with a good heart and feel profoundly for other living beings. I try to help where I can. But helping needs to be guided by some form of insight into what the other side actually needs. Sooner or later you will come across individuals making demands on you as a way to avoid doing it on their own. It’s a disservice to indulge these people as the resolution of their issues can only come from themselves. These are natural laws not spiritual ones. Being compassionate is having the heart to see what the matter is, then using your head to address it? Hope not too convoluted. But I enjoy your posts.

@HeavenestStCyr 2 ай бұрын

Better Boundaries better compassion Failure Emotional Discomfort Amiss Rejection