Okay, it might look like I'm in a similar place to where I was last year, but thankfully I'm far from it. This is the next part of my training camp with the legend that is Simon Grieve, and this particular day was the one that I was feeling a little sceptical about.
We journeyed to Vale View, a local venue to Simey, to have our first cross-country training session of the year. Seeing as we have had a seriously wet winter here in the UK, no XC places on grass were open around us, so having the arena XC at Vale View was a great way to get some practice in.
I knew that having not been cross country since September of last year, there was a good chance those dreaded thoughts of self-doubt might creep in. That, coupled with it being a freezing day, Jam being very spooky, and being rather ill myself, sadly led to a bit of a wobble with my nerves and some uncharacteristic refusals from Jam.
Now, as I said at the start, it might look like I'm back to square one, but in fact, this was a really great session to show me how far I've come since the famous breakdown at Lucinda's last year. While I did have a little moment, and may have shed a tear, this time I didn't have to get off and end the session; we worked through it!
Of course, it isn't ideal, but I am able to look back on it now and feel motivated to get back out and improve, rather than shy away from doing cross country. I hope you guys appreciate me sharing this; know that you are not alone in your confidence journey.
One day you can be jumping a strange horse in Ireland, then next you're worried to canter your own into a log pile. This sport truly does humble us!