Giveaway link: www.bboutique.co/vibe/zelphontheshelf-yt ✨

As far as the woman who referred to her Mormon brain; I wanted to say that part of the damage of Mormonism is that they create your boundaries and when you leave and you're uncomfortable with certain things, it's hard to tell the difference between the boundaries Mormonism set for you and your own personal boundaries that you will never be comfortable with.

The “everyone always leaves me” line was used to keep me in a manipulative, unhappy situation for months. It’s a powerful narrative and it’s hard to break out of.

You both seem to have a lot of compassion and I appreciate that! 🥹

My partner and I have been together since we were in high school. As we’ve grown up together we had to unlearn so many unhealthy patterns that were either modeled to us by our parents as children or became ingrained in the relationship while we were still children. Respect and curiosity were the foundation of surviving those unconscious toxic behaviors.

Aaarrggh! I once told a guy (on the second date, I think?) that I had very recently had sex with an ex (because I’d felt like it) and he acted like I was trying to test him or something. I was just being honest, good grief! Anyway, he got so dramatic about it that I stopped being fully honest. I really should have just told him I wasn’t comfortable with his behavior and left.

Sex toy Ed note: good sex toys are usually silicone so that they are non-porous and can be fully cleaned. Toys made from plastics or jelly types are porous and cannot be fully disinfected so can give you infections, UTIs and cannot be shared between non fluid-bound partners. In other words, Silicone is Safest ☺️. **Note- you can only use water based lubes with silicone toys. Silicone lube on silicone toys will slowly deteriorate it and make it no longer non-porous. *Second note- sex toys are amazing and must be destigmatized more 😄 Blue Boutique in Salt Lake City is actually my favorite physical shops I’ve found (I ended up working there for a while) BECAUSE they educate their staff on sex education and health extensively. It’s not a perfect business but far outweighs my experiences at Hustlers, Adam’s and Eves, Doctor John’s, and all shops I found in Vegas as well 😂 just based on standards and education of staff. Silly note: Discrete’s great but my tentacle dildos a work of art and will be displayed in lights fr 😌😇

comment for the algorithm! watching this on a snowy day, curled up under some blankets and cuddling with my cats. super cozy

After a dry December and January, I am so excited to drink my first glass of wine in 2 months and watch this video.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and thorough responses! I relate very much to the woman who asked about dating in Utah and ableism. I am 38 and have MS and disability. And I have had these dating concerns for sure as well!

Leaving a comment for the algorithm, I love watching your videos while knitting. ❤

Ooooh congrats on the brand deal!

Cutest thumbnail ever

i love the sweater with the flowers it's so cute!!

Just in time for the premier!!

I wonder how much the long-standing idea that men have some degree of ownership over a woman with the reverse not being true plays into the way jealousy plays out in a cis-gender perspective.

I channel my jealousy into affirmations that target the underlying fears/insecurities

watching this at work. as someone who's never been connected to mormonism and has no intention of doing any dating any time soon im looking forward to explaining why I'm watching this if one of my colleagues appears behind me 🤣

14:10 i love Tanner's psychology self-parenting skills SO much.

Yay! Thank you!

21:34 I wish I could feel that way about all of my exes! I have so much hurt from a couple of them, it’s hard to see it that way. At 23 I was groomed and abused by a 42 year old who reeaallyy messed me up. Before him was a raging alcoholic who couldn’t hold down a job. There have been some good ones that left minimal damage but man I gave attracted some stinkers.

So I'd be more disturbed that I was in a relationship for someone who could make me feel super safe while hiding a lie for that long. Oh not to mention the lie wasn't like, my grandmother died, but he put my health at risk.

40:34 I guess the problem for me isn't KNOWING to do research, but rather HOW to, you know? Like, what in the world do I type into the search bar to get what I'm looking for?

25:35 YES INDEED. 7 months is when the New Relationship Energy starts fading out slowly. Your rose-tinted glasses fade a bit, and you'll notice more things you might *not* like. Find your feet, see whether you like being together in the second year of dating. I'd not move in with or consider marrying someone before 2 years have passed. YMMV, but New Relationship Energy is a biochemical state of mind that isn't gonna last for your whole relationship ^^

I've never really dated. I'm not sure if I'm aromantic or if it's my anxiety disorder.

Love a good toy

I tried polyamory and wow, it did not work for me. I’m sure for some people it works but I experienced a lot of manipulation and my feelings being pathologized by my partner. She and her other partners had a cult like approach to polyamory as an ideology. It hurt, but I walked away with a much improved ability to identify red flags. Guess ya gotta learn sometime. Probably not shocking to get mixed up in something like that as a healing exmo!

❤

Hi!

Commenting for the 🐊 😊

Where is this sweatshirt from Sam?! The people must know.

I'm drawn to your videos. Not sure why, but I find them intriguing. I've always been curious about the relationship between you two. Can you clarify?

If I have children I don't want instability in a relationship. Having multiple sexual partners threatens that I think. I ges it's not a problem for you guys though

As bi woman who grew up in a cult: woman whose ex went on a mission should break up with her. One of the reasons why I had to take a look at my behavior is because nobody was supporting me in it. It's like abusive relationship.

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I left Utah and learned there are definitely worse states!!

I guess ZOTS qualifies are s** symbols? Sorry, I've been waiting months to say that, and I know you two can get bad jokes.

Adam and Eve? Lol

Leaving a comment for the algorithm, I love watching your videos while knitting. ❤