The following are some key points and examples of Conscious and Positive Parenting:
1. Focus on the need and not the behaviour
Society tells us that we need to curb the “bad behaviour” to be able to raise compassionate, capable human beings. However, under your child’s behaviours are unmet needs or emotions. It could be as simple as being hungry & tired or more complex emotions like wanting connection or feeling jealous.
2. Connection before correction: This one is similar to the above element. As Parents, when we can connect first, our children feel more significant, that they are a part of a family and that they matter too. There are different ways to connect with your child during heated moments. The first step is getting down to their level and making eye contact.
3. Respond vs reacting. Parenting is one of the hardest things we will ever do as a human being. It tests us beyond limits and can bring up a lot from our own childhood or past. Especially in times of stress or if we are not prioritizing ourselves. It takes your own inner work & your patience to respond to your toddler having their gazillion temper tantrum of the day instead of yelling and reacting. It takes your own inner work and compassion to respond to your child’s talking back or big emotions. Responding first is as simple as taking a few deep breaths before speaking or reacting (snapping or yelling at kids)
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4. Model: If you want your children to be kind, respectful, compassionate and polite human beings then as a parent, it has to be guided through modelling. Same with dealing with our own emotions. If we are in a constant battle of reactions and letting the emotions run wild, then children don’t get a first-hand experience on how to remain calm under pressure.
5. Transitions: children have a harder time during the day to day transitions or big life events. Kids thrive on routines and love knowing what comes up during the day. Giving them either a visual cue (daily schedule) or a verbal reminder of what comes up next will help them adjust to the next task or event.
6. Natural & Logical consequences: natural or logical consequences help your child develop a sense of responsibility and resilience. The consequence is related to the behaviour and the underlying message is that their actions have outcomes (again it's the damage done, not the child that is the problem)
7. Offering options: children begin stepping into their own autonomy and independence starting in their toddler years. They want a sense of control in their life. Giving them choices helps them feel like they are still in control and gives them a sense of power.
8. Follow through: some people see positive parenting or positive discipline as permissive. There is a way to still empathize when your child is having a hard time but still be loving and firm. Most of this comes down to following through on what you said.
9. Honor your child's emotions: children often have big feelings as they learn how to self regulate. Temper tantrums, whining, moping, crying, screaming just to name a few. As parents, we often feel the need to fix the feeling or get it under control. Like a big pot of boiling water and it’s our job to put the lid back on before it boils over. Rather, we should think of it more so as helping your child move 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ the emotion. They need our empathy, acceptance and connection. We are their safe place and in order to be that, we need to accept and allow emotions to come up; sit with the muck and help them move through it.
10. Right your wrongs.
#consciousparenting #positiveparenting #positivediscipline
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