I know this is an old post, but I wanted to thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. My husband of 4 years left me last week, and I am pretty confident that this has been the hardest week I have ever experienced. I have gotten set up with a counselor, trying to surround myself with family, and trying my best to take care of myself but it is significantly harder than I ever could have anticipated. Found out yesterday that we would never reconcile due to him meeting another women. Feeling very lost. Seeing your content has helped a bit, so thank you.

Sigh.....I don't even know where to start. My now ex-wife told me she didn't love me anymore one December morning in 2014. We had been married 14 years at that point. It was the beginning of the end for us. She officially left me in September of 2015, after I discovered her affair. I knew something was up, because none of her reasons for wanting out made sense. I'll spare you the emotional details but what I can tell you is that you are right on about the depression and emptiness feeling. We share four kids together, our youngest at the time was just two. It was, by FAR, the most painful heartbreak I've ever felt. Today, six years later, I am better, but still I think of what went wrong. In the end, I realize I did everything to make her happy, but there was no holding her back. Accepting defeat and letting her go was equivalent to mourning the death of a loved one. I cried, a lot, just like you and many others. I never want to experience that type of pain ever in my life again. Thank you for this video, It really hit home, even after six years alone; which tells me that these situations are not easy to recover from. Anyhow, today, after watching and listening to you, I am inspired to do great things and try and help others who are also on this heartbreak train. I've been wanting to start my own channel and speak about this big issue. I know there are millions out there suffering from a falling apart marriage or already in the divorce process. You've ignited a flame in me to seek out and suppot others in need. Thank you so much for sharing, you are helping and making a difference in people's lives.

The response to this video tells me there are many others dealing with similar situations. I hope sharing my experiences helps others; it has certainly helped me. It’s been a long journey, and the 2.5 years that have passed since I made this video have brought about many changes (some good…some bad). Soon, I will be making new videos sharing my journey the last few years in the hopes of connecting with you all and many others. They say that pain shared is pain halved and I can honestly say that sharing this video was helpful for me. It didn’t solve all my issues or make all my pain go away, but it did help me release some of my pain/frustrations. I welcome you all to check out my upcoming videos where I will try my best to remain vulnerable as I share more of my life with you. The first video will likely be out later today. Thank you everyone for your continued support and I hope to keep the conversations going.

Thank you. I needed this. I’m 47, and I’ve been separated for 5 years and divorced for 3 years. My ex wife and kids live about 8 miles away, but I haven’t been able to see or talk to my kids for about 4 years. They refuse to talk to me because they are very mad I left their Mom. The court is leaving it up to the kids whether they want to see me or not. I feel pain every day, but there are days (like today - Father’s Day is tomorrow) where I get severely depressed and don’t know how to handle it. I had been thinking already about all the things you were saying. I started working out consistently about a year ago, and I’m trying to build my life again. I don’t make friends easy. I’ve lost contact with friends from my past. I’m planning to join some groups through Meetup, and I’m also looking for volunteer opportunities, but I’m struggling to find activities I enjoy. I will keep trying. I was in therapy a few years back, and I’m thinking of trying again. There is a therapist near me who does EMDR. I’m hoping that helps. Thank you again.

New video posted where I discuss my failed marriage and what led to its demise. I welcome you all to watch it and share your thoughts with the community. Thank you all for the support you've shown thus far. It means the world to me: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/abN0eNufr7e7nac.html

How relatable are my experiences? Have any of you experienced something similar?

I got divorced two years ago and this is my take on this topic for men. The court system is anti-male and it awards women that file for divorce by giving them incentives to do so. The system is heavily influenced by law firms that profit off of divorce so they will fight to death to keep it that way. He mentioned that you need to accept responsibility because both sides share equal blame for what happened. Well my response to that is that women aren’t held responsible for the mistakes that they made during that divorce. You could come home and find your wife riding your best friend like a horse in your bed and she will suffer no consequences for her actions. If anything she will get full custody of the kids and be awarded child support and alimony. In some cases she might even get half your pension and the faulty home. Something else to think about, if you’re one of the "lucky ones"... and your marriage works out, you're probably going to have to work harder because many times wives quit their jobs to take care of kids. That means that men have to work longer hours and that adds unneeded stress to your life that wouldn't be there if you just stayed single. Let’s say that you stay in it for 20 years and do all of that hard work. Well the longer you stay in a marriage, the worse the punishment will be if she decides to file for divorce. The amount of money that courts award women is determined by how long she stayed in it. The more the marriage lasted the more money she gets. FYI - Women file for divorce 75% of the time. You don't have to get married to be in a relationship. There are a lot of people today that are just cohabitating with partners so you can do that if you want to take it that far, but I don't recommend it. Cohabitation makes it harder for men to move when a relationships goes bad. Males that are married or men that have daughters are SIMPs so don't talk to them about your problems because they will side with women 99% of the time. Don't talk to women because they will side with your wife. Women are taught to blame men for everything in life and not take personal responsibility. Remember look at feminist and how they behave, women will always seem themselves and other women as victims.

I needed this comfort. Thank you. Wife left me yesterday. EDIT: thank you all for the amazing support. Brought tears to my eyes. Stay strong everyone....and thank you again.

Dude that was 16 minutes of the best condensed counseling I have heard. Separated and she is just starting with a new man. I have a five year old boy who couldn’t be a better boy or son. I haven’t seen them “together” but I have seen her car parked next his. And she has admitted it. I am going to write down this stuff and try it. I have had 3 plus hours with two counselors in the last 2 days who listened but didn’t give me what this Marine did. Maybe my dad who was a Marine and died 13 months ago helped me find this video. I was suicidal this past weekend but am on new medicine and counselor therapy. Off work with short term disability to straighten my life out enough to get back at it. I wish I could shake this Marines hand or get a hug because this has helped a lot. At least tonight I can go to sleep and think about something positive. Good night all Thanks Man.

The couch is the universal recovery spot. I probably should get a new one because of the sleepless nights and night sweat.

My wife and I have been married for two years. We hit it off on the first date and have known each other since elementary school. We grew up a lot as a team when we first got together, even moved into our first house together for the first time on our own. We have had minor up and down issues here and there but nothing truly dreadful or bad fights. She had been asking me for many things. More time in bed together, more time in general together doing things, to lose weight, and to stop weed and alcohol. I was also being very controlling and manipulative trying to map out the relationship to what I had wanted and had never stopped to asked what she wanted to do in our life next. One thing she had wanted was to go to the military. At first I was very open to the idea, but as the time ticked closer to when she was going to sign up and get deployed I was scared. I don't know if it was me being controlling or myself just being scared of change. Either way I was not supportive as I should have been and this caused some major tension because of how dedicated she is to bettering herself and wanting to do this goal of hers. I dismissed many of her concerns and had not thought much of it even though she had mentioned it countless times and on many occasions I had said I would change things. I never did and always found excuses for it. Hindsight is always 20/20 and looking back on it I have never felt more dumb in my entire life. She recently asked me to spend the night at her parents and have a break. Naturally I wanted to talk with her and balled my eyes out trying to express how deeply sorry I was and blowing up her phone with please come back messages. At the time I wasn't truly sorry. How could I be? I barely was beginning to grasp the issues that I have if at all. She had told me she was really unhappy with our relationship and where everything was going and that she did not want to be stuck anymore. The next day we talked again and she came to grab some of her things along with both our pets. I once again talked with her about our relationship and where it was going to go. This was not very fruitful either as it only left me with more questions. She was not sure if she wanted a divorce or what to do with the baggage that I brought with me. She wanted a week long break to think over things which led to me asking for her back again. The following day I told her I was going to give her as much space as she wanted and if she needed anything that I would be here. She texted me back telling me that this wasn't going to work out and she did not want to string me along. It hurt a lot to realize just how much pain I had caused her, to push her to this point. I had found myself asking why I did all these terrible things to her and why I wasn't a good enough husband to see all the issues. I've thought about that a lot recently, and I have realized as a whole I have very many flaws that need to change. Not just minor personality issues but addictions of laziness and stillness that I just couldn't shake. I will not blame her if she does not come back to me. I have been a terrible partner and person in general and truly I am not sure of whether I should even be forgiven. I was given a chance with the most amazing and perfect woman I had ever met and I blew it. All I can hope is that she finds her happiness. After thinking about many of these root issues and realizing how toxic I am I have decided to work on myself. My change has not been drastic so far and won't be for a long period of time, but I truly am dedicated to making myself better. Whether we end up together again or not, I need to be better for me. I just can't believe I had become so toxic and was completely unaware of any of these issues I was causing. This was the biggest wake up call I have ever had and that's for my life as a whole. I'm just grateful to have realized all the mistakes I have made and have been working out on a daily basis. I've also been more expressive with other people about the mistakes I myself made and no one else and have been working on communicating better as a whole. I know that if I tackle these issues one at a time that I will change. This will be a long road, but I know I can do this.

I still don’t understand why people getting married when it’s a well known fact that in this day of age your marriage won’t last. I’ve met people and they’ve confessed that they are not in happy marriages, none of them has said anything positive about marriages none of them said “you should get married, I highly recommended it”. Yet people still get married. I’ve also met unhappy married women, they were very inviting, they never said “sorry, I’m married”, I can see what these married women can do, they all could have cheated on their husbands with me. I’m 29 and I’m seeing my high school friends got married; in the back of my mind I thought I’ve met all divorced people, people in unhappy marriages, do they really think their marriages will last forever??? Why the parents allowing their kids to get married? Didn’t the parents warned them? Have they ask advice from established married people or divorced people for marriage advice and what to expect in marriage. It boggles me. If marriages last forever why do divorce lawyer and marriage therapists exists? Why do people write books about marriage an divorce? Why do they publish about research and statistics about divorce? Why can’t people see the logic and still get married? Usually, it’s the men who confessed to me about their fail marriages. But, there were also women who warned me about marriage. I find this quite ironic, because it’s usually women who wants me the marriage, but there are women who warned me not to get married. A women told me to stay single and not to get married, as marriages has too much responsibility. Another women, my colleague warned his son not to get married as she said I don’t care what your religion you are, what your culture is, you don’t need to get married.

Thank you for sharing this and the financial information videos even if it’s one person watching. I’m doing my best to move forward from my marriage of 27+years. Smh.... This experience and all what lead up to it has rocked our families life to the core!!! Smh...It’s been like witnessing a death, tearing my spirit in half. I agree the American dream is not perfect, and is different for everyone. My heart goes out to others wanting to come here for a opportunity for a better life for them and their children. This really hits very close to home for me. Smh... Most people want the basics and to live in peace, however, it seams like that is increasingly more difficult to sustain every day. I like how you mentioned about being “consistent” with positive actions. This has been a major reoccurring issue in my life for decades. I’d like to think my life would be entirely different if I had begun and remained being consistent in several areas of my life. It continues to be the long pole in the tent. Thank you for shay and being transparent. Much respect for all you do, and thank you for your continued service. Antonio

I appreciate what you are saying and think your insights are true. However, I’m not going to enter another relationship. This was and is too brutal. I was married for close to 17 years and knew her for a few years before hand. So closer to 20 years. Thought my marriage was forever. God bless you for this video. I do appreciate it. It is very hard to find information that comes from the heart. Obviously this is coming from your heart.

I'm a women who lost my marriage after23yrs 4 kids. I feel all you feeling. Your emotion is so visually versatile. You can clearly you feel have real emotional response to your loss . My Ex says he did does but I can literally see nothing in him. No emotional side no accepting his part. I said my faults flaws what I did. Not just sorry but what I did. No but to follow up sorry cause your not sorry if you excuse it. I wish I had the switch to turn it off like him. It's been a long 9yrs it's like he died. He is the only person I had ever and still outside my kids 4 family members I don't get cl8se often. Let alone find myself wanting someone around that I feel like I can love him. He about killed me more times then I can count. I still tried to just do better do more. I know now I can't do it all alone. I feel like my time is past. This is it for me. I'm 44 and I'm sick and every day is a battle for my life. Nobody wants the sick girl who is gonna loose their life to health issue at a young age. I just wanted you to know it's not often I see this really remarkable vulnerability in men it's good it shows it does actually exist. So ty for sharing your a very gifted speaker. The way you do it so true authentic and vulnerable and with empathy and humility. Just wonderfully refreshing. I'm watching your other stuff also same thing there feeling wise. I really enjoy your side the male side of it. I agree theres three side yours hers and in the middle the fundamental truth of it all. Thank you God bless.

Link updated! Finally made a new video. A lot has changed in the last 2.5 years. I’m amazingly nervous to share more of my life with you, but if it connects with people the way this video has, then it’s all worth it. Here goes nothing 😬 kzfaq.info/get/bejne/qLOSpNWbp9Oac4U.html

Being Divorced 3 times it does not get any easier. I have lost everything through Divorce? Married now again 4th time and feel more content with life. You talk about the American Dream stop looking for it be happy with your dream be happy with yourself. I chased wealth big house new cars. Now I live a simple life and feel much happier. You Sir being a Marine I take my hat of to you sir. Being in the Military is hard and the % of divorce is high. Your talking in 100% true. Yes talk to people, I tried to run away from my problem loosing my wife loosing my kids going through bankruptcy in other words a perfect storm. My boss at work called me into the office who had gone through Divorce and we sat for 2 hrs he showed me the way to move forward. To your viewers listen to Divorced people who have been there and talk from experience. Good luck with your channel. You do learn from relationships.

My ex fiancé split recently. I loved him deeply. And I still do honestly. He was abusive and Thing became really between us. I broke it off in April. It still hurts. I was with him since I was 18 and I’m 22 now. I miss him a lot. But I know I can’t be with him. I’ve been dealing with depressing since I left him. We weren’t married but it feels like I went through a divorce. I know it’s for the best because he said and did some pretty hurtful things that made it hard for us to move forward. I’m praying God will provide me with a husband and we stay together until death. I just want a faithful,honest,responsible,respectful man who loves God and values marriage. I don’t believe in divorce. God hates them. I will never divorce unless he becomes abusive. My mom and dad are going through a divorce. Even though I’m older it still hurts to see my parents split. I never want to have to divorce and pray that God blesses me with a man who also doesn’t believe in divorces and commits to God.

My husband who is in the army, took on recruiting duty and became miserable, we are so close to retirment, and had our future planned and our kids are teens, and he just blames me for all his failures in life, and childhood as he cant confront his dead mom, or ill dad now. He feels like he needs to fill voids to make himself look good, he feels like his kids would love to see him work xyz job, because hes doing something to change the world. Not him being with his wife, and trying to save our marriage, 15 years 6 duty stations and 3 deployments we were very young when we married (18) and we fought a lot, but no one ever tried together. I beg him to try, and he just resents me so much and regrets and says such hurtful things, such as he would sit at JAG to divorce me, he even made comments of never wanting me to there at his return of deployments. The hurt of his words is awful.

Very realistic video and listening to this video helps more than listening to a professional motivational speaker’s talk, because this video has got genuine emotions in it. May Allah bless all and I wish no one’s marriage ever breaks especially when kids are involved. IT’S VERY PAINFUL TO FACE DIVORCING FROM KIDS AND WIFE especially when you love 💕 them both. My advice to all of you is; if you love someone, tell them and show them how much you love them and never hold your emotions, be around them and share their life’s problems and concerns with happy heart especially when they expect you to do so, make them feel and believe by your actions that they are not alone and that you’ll always be with them in their hard times. Most important things, don’t expect that your partner will understand your point of view by themselves without you explaining it to them. This will cause misunderstandings and grief which will eventually kill beautiful relationships. I wish again no one has to go through the pain of Divorce.

Thanks for sharing. I've been separated a year. Divorcing soon. Some days I'm fine, some days I'm not. It's sad to know that the feeling of lose will always be there but I guess it'll just be something I live with.

Fabio, you're a great man and your message is so true. Very same emotions and the same experiences....sitting at home alone on the couch and falling apart, missing your children all the time, being broken and having so many regrets on what I could have done better. I always wanted to be a family man, a provider and to live that same American Dream. It's hard to look inside yourself to see what you did to contribute to the marriage failing. It takes lots of introspection and hard work to become that man that you want to be. Divorce is so awful on every level.....emotionally, financially, losing time with your children and regretting not putting your spouse first and taking her for granted when you were married. I have found that what comes from the pain is learning and being able to change. It takes time to go through the pain and you never feel completely whole, but you can use it to be a better father and man. You always have to keep moving forward.

Thanks so much for this post. After hearing you and reading all the comments I can see so many of us are hurting. For me it was a 3 year relationship where we part time cohabitated at each other's homes. We had become like one. It's been 7 months now since I was blindsided by him breaking it off. I think if it had been rough the last months I could find at least a little relief in it. But it wasn't. I'm 51 years old and thought this would be the person I would grow old with. I'm still dealing with the grief which has been hard. However, what's worse during this time my job became permanent remote since the pandemic started. It was always a dream of mine to have a remote job. I was loving it until October when the break up happened. I communicate and see friends on some weekends but I still feel isolated and lonely. During lock down I never felt alone even when we were not together because I felt like I'll be seeing him soon. I was so independent before this relationship and enjoyed my own company. This was not the world I was living in before I met him. So really in some ways was blind to the reality of how the world changed because I felt secure. It feels like everything in my life has changed and trying to find solid ground again.

Hi sir I just wanted to say thank you for your video and your words of wisdom and I do understand that divorce is definitely hard and they’re different for each person. In my position I had a stroke a year and a half ago which wiped out my entire short-term memory so every day that I wake up and my wife is not laying in the bed beside me I have to ask my daughter where is your mom and every day she has to re-explain it to me that my wife is gone and I start the hurting all over again. I don’t know if you can help me but if you have any advice for me sir my ears are wide open.

after a 12-year marriage to my wife. our daughter graduated and she wanted to get a divorce. I have never experienced so much emotion in my life, but what you said has me thinking. I know what I could have done differently. I know what I did wrong. 6 months of being separated and yes I still get depressed and cry and all that. in your video you said to find something that makes you happy and do it. I'm trying to figure this out. all my years of life I have done for everyone else and not myself. I am a people pleaser and never really thought of myself and what i would like to do. that's the battle I have now. Trying to Think of me first. Thank you for this video!!!

Thank you sir for your service and for your honesty about real life. I'm going through divorce after 31 years of marriage. Inconceivable. Pain is unreal. I am leaning on the Lord and his word. Psalms in particular. Davis was a great warrior and yet wrote about pain and fear in his life.

I’ve been separated 18 months after a 22 year stint, married for ten years, 3 sons. Million dollar estate fleeced, cut down to the ground. The emotions of hate, discord and even vengeance arise daily still. In the last year I have worked very hard to restore my path to return to wealth. It is on track better than it has ever been. The critical advice I can give is that you must rewind your mind to the day and days prior to when you met her. Try to remember the things that made you tick before you knew her. You must have a clear cut plan with everyday of your life, because the moment you give your mind 2 minutes of downtime, you descend deeper. You have to keep yourself busy. The mere distraction is the start to keeping the negatives out of your head. I have a long way to go, but I need to tell you guys my methods as I am getting results. Cheers and God bless..

30 years , I feel like she passed away ...its awful. Worst part , she don't care and she meant it ... I had the American Dream... It's the hardest thing I've ever been through . I am in Therapy once a week ... A couple great friends that are always there , but only by phone , they are far away. There is no "people contact " anymore , kids are gone ... PTSD , SCS in my spinal cord for pain ... Ruminations are hard and I'm stuck. The pain is unbearable.This is my 2nd and final marriage. Both cheated .... I always get ," you have a big heart but..." Both say it? I'm never doing that again. 57 years old and wasted all that time committed to a woman for 30 years the 2nd time ... Nope no more .

Thanks for the video. Married 28 years and we separated in November 2020. Thought time apart would give us time to reflect and maybe start over. But just 2 months after our separation she started dating and sleeping with others. I can never go back. Now I have to figure out a way to leave the past behind and start again. This is the most painful experience I've ever had to face. My thoughts and visions won't stop. I know time heals but feel like time is moving very slowly. This is extremely difficult especially when you still love your former life partner. Trying to survive!

I'm going through the loneliness, depression, and shock of knowing the stages of splitting are happening and the divorce is coming. She is growing apart from me and I her. It's like a train coming and I can't get out of the way. Financially its going to be devastating and emotionally its going to be dark. Excellent video. All happens for a reason...hope its for all the right reasons.

"we have this idea of what the American dream is, for real, life's not like that. real life is messy and it will kick you hard when you least expect it and it will knock you down when you least expect it, but part of living the American dream is being able to get back up to rise up from the ashes when everything's trying to hold you down, that's part of the American dream" Sage advice right there. Putting that in my saved motivational quotes.

Great reading of what happens! Awesome advices! I'm 43 y/o, it's been 5years I'm divorced. I'm currently going through a break up with a long term relationship and that same feeling of failure is coming by. The time passes and the feeling of ending alone just increases. Never give up, persistence! This is what I think everyday. It is tough though. I'm also an immigrant, every move I made I lost my partner. Sometimes, it is not only about us, but also all the network and environment around us. Great video! Hope you have someone good in your life now.

Wow…..what an inspirational video that explains the roller coaster journey of divorce - and recovery. One thing I learned, you get it back plus more….eventually . But, you do! Counseling helped, of course. But joining divorce groups helped the best. There you are with others that are going through what you are going through. Never dwell, and realize that all too often the actual person you though you married is too often not the person who really exists. .

"Don't give up on love". I agree with this advice, but I think it requires a caveat. I think that in the West, most people don't really understand what love is. Love is NOT what they promote in Disney movies. That is marketing. It's NOT what you saw in "Pretty Woman". That is also marketing. It is great at selling films, but it has nothing to do with building a life with someone and raising your children in a safe environment. Love, really, is a mutual respect and understanding that marriage is hard work. It's often not fun, and sometimes it is just plain grueling. But if both people know their role, are committed, and work hard at it consistently, it will work. This understanding of love is basically gone in the west, unfortunately. I think this is one of the reasons that most marriages here are doomed from the start. Your "head over heels" feeling won't last, and it really isn't worth much. It isn't what families are built on...

I live in India. I get what you are saying and I feel there are certain things that are common among all of us no matter where we come from. Emotional breakdown is one aspect. I haven't been married but was left by my gf after 8 years of relationship. People change with time and there can be differences in goals and perspectives which could lead to situations that are simply irreconcilable. Crying does help because sometimes the stress simply becomes too much and it needs to be released. Tears clean the windows of our soul. Based on my observation, I think in the present times it has become much more easier for people to simply kick someone out of their lives. I rarely saw that in my parents generation. Here in our country, we have always been family oriented. So going back to family gives a lot of relief as we feel like a kid in front of them. I personally feel that if one has great parents, they should always try to make good relations with them. It does helps a lot when such kind of situation arises. I wish you for a better life ahead.

So tough to hear, thanks for sharing. Living this reality now, been together since we were 20, married for last 6 years. 36yrs old now & learning more about how hard this will be is even harder to imagine. Divorce is really like a death with no funeral.

divorce is like mourning the loss of your loved one. Especially if there is no contact at all, it’s as though they died. Thank you for your video. people always tell me my eyes look sad, looking at you, I can see what they mean, because your eyes look sad. I hope we all find happiness :)

I'm 41 going thru a separation at the moment after 19 yrs of marriage, I have 2 boys. I've tried everything in my power last month in a way we both decided to separate (will eventually divorce). we haven't tell anyone for the sake of our boys, we still living under the same roof separate rooms. Every day I ask God to continue giving me strength to make the right moves because my emotions are just going crazy, and I started to have anxiety. I've been doing medication to keep me calm. at least husband and I trying to keep a safe environment with the boys, we have a business together :( I'm a believer that God doesn't give us more that we can handle and also everything happens for a reason. I hope time passes by quick, so I can heal and move on. thank you for sharing your story.

This video has helped me and provided good advice. I am going through a divorce after 17 years. There was no infidelity from either of us, but my husband always had huge influence and control by his family (his brothers mostly), which affected our marriage in one way or another. In the end, he chose to be loyal to his family than his wife, which was the straw that finally broke the camel's back. It is very painful for me to think about and am trying to stay busy and active in a positive way. Can't even think about having another relationship at this point. Need a lot of time to heal.

Thank you so much for sharing Sir. I watched a few other people videos today, but this one reached me right were I needed. Thanks!

Is painful when I realized that l didn't appreciate my wife ( soon ex wife) l had everything with her a beautiful daughter, l didn't listened to her l didn't supported her the way she wanted, now is to late she doesn't love me anymore and l still love her

This is 6 years later and I don't know if anyone's asked, but how are you doing now after looking back on this? I just filed for divorce from my wife for unrelated reasons. But I'm deciding to keep it that way and not remarry her. 8 years. No cheating. No abuse. My first marriage. Her second. It was the result of neglect, estrangement, depression, and work relationship ethics. I feel like someone's spinning me and I don't know when they will stop and let me stumble in a random direction.. at least then I could focus on picking myself up.

My wife walked out after 25 years together....15 year's ago now.... My life has never been the same since....it's a deviating thing to deal with....to this day she can not will talk with me...it's like my life was a lie....she told me she was going through something....it took my a while to realize that she was going through her second husband....she discarded me...I can only assume she is a narcissist....and never loved me....she just loved the idea... untill she didn't.....90% of women initiate divorce...she moved out of our home..only a few miles away...would come back for sex,,or whatever else she could get from me...I had to tell her .if your not coming home...don't come back at all....this was the most difficult thing I have ever dealt with in my life time....it's been 15 year's now,,and it still effects me today... sometimes the sadness is overwhelming....the dreams.. nightmares still haunt me after all this time.....no closer no understanding of why ... It's unhealthy and life destroying.... At times I wish we never met.... It's like I wasted so much of my life being with her...but wouldn't trade it for anything... It's confusing...it's deviating....it's tragic....idk if I can't move on or just don't want to.....lost in my own life.....

I appreciate this. My wife is divorcing me after only 2 years of marriage. It has crushed me in so many ways. Im not used to living alone or having to be independent like this. Its a really tough transition. I feel im doing well, i have a job for the forst time in a long time, im seeing 2 wonderful therapists who have really helped me a ton, and i have a plan for a future career in IT. Just time to start grinding and stay motivated. Im just worried about the times i will get sad or think about good memories with her and how to cope with that and not let it drag me down and lose motivation.

Thank you Marine, I needed this. Your on point brother!

Hi I don’t know if you’re ever gonna read this comment but my mum and dad just recently got divorced after my dad caught my mum cheating and I’m 15 oldest of all my siblings and I am living with my father and I feel so hurt especially for my siblings and my father. He sleeps on the couch most of the time and It hits me every night thinking about it because my mum and dad always slept in their room. But I can relate to this video because I sometimes see my dad cry and it would make me depressed. But I want to help out my dad and be a good role model to my siblings. Thank you for this video

1) SEEK HELP!! Speak to a counselor. Don't be afraid to feel your emotions. Rely on your friends also. You can't do it alone. 2) FIND SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!! A hobby. Anything to fill up your free (alone) time. Work out, etc. Get something in your life that makes you feel positive about yourself & life. 3) ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY. There are usually faults on both sides. Think about what happened and why the relationship ended. What could you do better in future relationships? If YOU don't change, you may repeat the same mistakes in the future. 4) UNDERSTAND THAT THE AMERICAN DREAM IS NOT PERFECT. But don't give up. If you want another relationship, it may take some work to find the right person, especially if you are older. Give it time. Just don't give up!! 🤜🤛 Good luck gentlemen!!

Much appreciated for your honesty. Wish more men were like this. Thank you sir!

I’m sorry for you 😭 glad you got help with your life 😄. Your very brave for posting this as well, very admirable 😇

I don’t know you. Never seen your stuff before. I’m 30 seconds into your video and I detect your sentimentality of those locations. I’m the same way. Love you bro.

I'm existing, but never living. Since my separation when my daughter was 2 we used to bond a lot and do stuff on school holidays and every weekends, but my ex decided to take her overseas and everything after that changed, was able to follow them only after more than a year and since then, I now only see my daughter for a few hours every Saturday to have lunch, that's it and to do that I have to drive 200kms or 3 hours. All those great times I'm supposed to spend with my daughter were taken away from me, now even my daughter behaves differently towards me, there were times I want to end everything, but I'm just worried that if something happens to my ex, I don't want my daughter to be living without a parent in this world, I want to see her raise her own family and know in my heart that she will be taken care of, then I will be ready to go, anytime. She's the only purpose I have in this world now, without her, I could go anytime...

Glad i found this video. Currently dealing with the end of a 10 year relationship with the father of my 2 boys. We were never married but he was my husband. Im just trying to keep doing the things that i love and pick up some things that i felt like i had to give up. He was controling and abusive and it made me controling and abusive. We are complete opposites and, while that may work for some couples, it didnt for us. I loved him more than words could possibly express but it doesnt change the fact that i ended up not really liking him at all. Im in pain but i also feel strangely free.

Thank you so much for sharing your heart on this tough subject. I just went through a divorce and now after 1 year am finally starting to step out of the fog. New subbie. Look forward to more.👍💪❤️

Thanks brother true facts 💯 I feel can relate to your pain in your voice.. I believe why most marriage breaks its because both couples 💑 need to have the glue to stick them together.. and the glue is God Almighty creator..because marriage were designed by God in heaven for God's assignments on earth.. when we love God the most high and his commandments first that is when we will find true intermacy and success..marriage is not a fairy tale its about living a blessed life with God Almighty.. laws.. they should make it compulsory to have a license to Wed 💒 like marriage courses know your self and know your rights and duties in the marriage..let God spiritual love Rule ❤ stay guided and blessed..stay awoke be faithful to God.. .

you're talking on a subject live that can help people. My wife vanished from our home in the last four months of pregnancy. Her daughter who lived with us was then sent back to her dad. It took five months to even find my wife. a stranger told me she was with somebody else and having our baby. Turned out she had been living a second life. And this man naturally assumed it was his boy. When I found her she allowed me see our boy for six weeks and she told me he was definitely my boy. But she didn't want to tell the other man. I got a DNA dont also and this was confirmed. After the six weeks she vanished again, and blocked me out completely. Eventually i went to court and the process went on for two years, the courts gave me all sorts of strong rights but she abducted our boy to the other side of the world. The police informed the other man of the situation. My CEO called me in whilst i was dealing with all this and fired me. I had a complete mental and physical breakdown and never recovered.

Currently been sitting on my couch crying all day myself. Good days and bad days.

I feel for you brother. The American dream I had was my business and my family. My wife had a midlife crisis and walked out. I lost my home, my success, my business and I only get my kids half the time. She still makes a 100k a year and I used to make more. After divorce I had to start a job I hate, not be my own boss ,make half the money and take it in the ass. But I have a plan and the experience to get above were I was before. I won’t let my situation discourage me and I’ll get back on top as a single father. Just makes me wanna work harder. Best of luck to you and thank you for your service sir!

Thanks I needed this..as of 8:15 which is in an hour and 16mins I will be on phone with divorce court with a judge..thanks for all you have said. My marriage has been over for a long time. No kids together but still a bitter sweet situation

I had a brain system reboot lately after my wife wanted to split and I did what most guys wouldn’t. I told her to be happy, I support her decision and feel free to move on and it was ok. I really wanted her to consider alternatives but she’s emotionally detached. Well it had some weird reverse effect on her And now I’m the one who wants to end things. But in the famous words of most wives “I need to take care of me”. I feel ok being alone again and not trying to please her every need. Because that’s a bottomless pit sometimes?

Thank you.. first two weeks seperated. No friends in this state so im alone and pretty Depressed..Hearing your story makes me feel a little better. Thanks again

Thankyou for sharing it’s such a difficult topic. Loved your journey thru the pivotal memories with us

Thank you for your video. It was helpful in helping me process emotions of my own. You come across very genuine and intelligent. Thank you 🙏🏼

Thanks for sharing this and for your service to our country. I'm sorry that you had to go through this pain and that life brings you happiness going forward.

Wow, this was so important what you said at about 9 minutes. I refused to forgive my husband for getting addicted to pornography and refusing to get help, so I left him. I am a born again Christian, so I believe in order for me to be forgiven...I need to forgive no matter what. Well, I was so very very angry and I had no desire to forgive and I had no desire to ask God to even help me forgive him. So one day I prayed and I told God, "I have no desire to forgive that man (and I did relate to him as 'that man'), but I want to be obedient. So, I lay both of those issues at Your feet because I don't know what to do." He answered my prayer very quickly. As the gentleman that God Almighty is, He began showing me that I was not the perfect wife I thought I was. So much so, I emailed my ex-husband asking him to forgive me for not being the wife I should have been. He was taken aback and asked me what caused me to write him this. But truly I say, God set me free because I had the desire to be obedient even though I had absolutely no desire to forgive. I knew I needed to give it to Him. God is so very awesome. Just be 100% honest with Him and He will be there for you. I encourage you to go to Him when all else fails.

Just watched your video What you shared was so real Thank you so much great insight in to what time I'm in to I was thinking 5 years but looks like it stays with you for life . I'm only 2 month's in so have a long way to go Thank you again I just subscribed

Thankyou for this video, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in discussing your experience. I'm going through this now, three kids and a 17yr marriage failing due to partner falling in love with an old friend of mine. It's pushed me close to wanting to end it all. I won't, I'm better than that, but it's the hardest thing I've ever experienced, I cry randomly every time I have a memory of the good times we had. I loved her so much and would have fought to save the relationship but her heart wasn't in it. So I hit the gym lost 23kg and focussing on becoming a better version of me. It's been five years seperated but just going through the divorce process now and it's definately made the pain resurface, just like scraping off a scab, raw and painful. Stay strong my brother's. 💪

Ok I'm trying to get through a messy devorce. She has put me down for so long that I can even go anywhere because she talks so much shit about me that I have people I don't know looking at me like I'm a monster. She has said things like your not dead yet . Or why can't you just get hit by a car . And this is been going on for years . Six years . I have amitted to everything that I did wrong and things I didn't just to stop the fight . She knows my past and uses the bad to hurt me and make me do things . And when I'm get enough courage to do something to help my self get out of it . She says and does things to make me think that it was all my fault . Then it starts over again . Now I have lost all my drive to even live . She now is still trying to control me and I don't know what to do . I feel like I'm not worth nothing because she has said I wasn't . And so on . What would you do ?

I knew you were a marine from the start of this video. Much love to you brother and your future. I’m scared to get married in the gun club for this exact reason. I don’t know why god put this video in my recommendation maybe it was just an eye opener for me. I think I can wait few more years. I am also still with my high school sweetheart for 4 years now. Let’s see what happens. Semper fi

Thanks for sharing this... divorce has to be the most painful experience I’ve ever felt... sad times 😢... hoping to feel normal one day again .

the fact that you drove to houses and places you used to live with your family and places where you were happy. it's just so heartbreaking. I hope you find someone who stays with you happily for the rest of your life. and I hope you heal from everything putting you down and hurting you in life. lots of respect

Good video man, thanks for sharing. I highly suggest leaving alcohol, nicotine, and other garbage on the shelf at the store. If you are going through a divorce, do not poison yourself with that junk. Get your testosterone back up the natural way through diet and lots of good exercise. Go out there and get some, dont get picky and start looking for the perfect girl. Only one requirement, when you see her and your get a hard on, then thats good enough. Dont dwell on your wife, she is not coming back. Stay free and dont get tied down again with her unhappiness. Take care of your self and children. I wish all the fellas long life and lots of sunshine ahead. Things do get better if you dont step into the same pile of crap.

I layed my hand on my husband's shoulder and said to him, "Be born again in the name of Jesus." And he's been believing in God ever since. He's been changed for the good ever since.

I’m 24 going thru an a divorce. And times are hard, but this video literally saved me! So much great advice, as well as wisdom. Thank you for this video!!

Wow. You seem lovely. Very reflective and positive. Not bitter. That’s great. You seem like a nice person. It’s refreshing to hear. A lot of divorced men seem to be bitter but you aren’t. Well done.

I am currently going through a divorce, my husband is impotent which he kept from me, we waited till marriage to have sex. He can fix his issue by doing surgery, however, he has refused to get help stubbornly. He has now started dating others and says he will do the surgery next year. We have been together for 5 years and married for 3 years. I am an immigrant to this country and faced emotional and financial abuse, he is also very unkind daily. I can't get an annulment in Ohio as I missed the deadline to file which was 2 years. It's very devastating as I have to start again career rise, right now I'm in an Airbnb and everyone is treating me like a villain for leaving the situation. My in-laws are toxic and my family is overseas, it's very isolating I am 29.

I’m at the very beginning of this awful journey right now. And at this point it all seems pretty f***ing insurmountable, I gotta say. Thank you for posting your experience/insights; I really need to see post-divorce success stories right now because I tell you I’m having a hard time seeing how mine is going to look

I relate, still dealing with my wife walking out leaving me with kids draining our accounts telling me she was coming back just needed time for herself. gaslighting me. reality she moved in with her boyfriend, never had another meal, drink or even sat together to discuss what's happening after 2 1/2 yrs, I'm just able to talk about it without breaking down into a sobbing mess. I'm 57 having to start over emotionally and financially. thank you for sharing very personal part of your life. it's sharing that helps us all to realize that we are not alone. thank you again

Oh and by the way, you may marry the right person, and then they change. My ex-husband got addicted to porn and became a totally different person. That seems to be happening a lot lately here in United States, more so than any other country in the world.

so im going throught divorce.....im so scared lost and ansious but above all sad and comfused,and ultimately i dont know how to grab 24 years of marriage and throw it on the garbage...how do you let go from all the moments all the memories and all the dreams all the content from my story and chop it???...i will be empty i feel like a empty book a empty person,worthless i really dont know what to expect and im so scared and lost..I wish all the very best to all broken hearts out there

What you said was perfect. I have been divorced 8 years and at times it still hurts a little. Was married 28 years. I thought that i could never live without her, but trust me you can and all that horrible pain is gone.. I would have done anything to take her back once but now I love my dog way more. She left me for another guy. It is not her I miss but everything else. I thought I was family after 30 years. She poisoned me to them and I have not talked to them. Now I don't want to. Divorce is a mess I was 56 at the time and thought the pain would kill me. Don't take drugs and sleep all day get out there and work out. Nothing will really help but time. Good luck.

Man...thank you. I really needed to hear what you said. Again!! Thank you for being streight forward

Ajudou bastante, obrigado companheiro.

i am 43; I get laid every time a woman sees my house. HER : "You live here alone?" 'Yeah''. One week later, "We should take our relationship to the next level.......i can move in." My reply : ''What relationship?'' LoL

I went through divorce 9 months ago. I was emotionally abused my entire marriage but prayed the whole time to save our family. He told my children he only married me because I got pregnant 18 years ago. I was crushed to be starved of love this whole time. I know God has a better plan. A family that prays together will stay together. It is hard to hate someone you pray for. I appreciate your heart very much and know your pain. You are a strong man to do this video and I respect you for it.

Hey Devil Dog your helping a newly separated and a soonly divorced marine vet. Im trying to comprehend this new part of my life. And this helped alot. Thank you devil Semper Fi brotha

So for me I found out after a year and half after divorce that my Ex wife is now in a relationship. And I’m here still working on my self and yet I feel like I’m back at square one. I feel that I should be farther ahead than her yet I am not..very discouraging. But your Video did help me. Thanks

Thanks brother for sharing I was with my wife for 30 years and out of the blue she told me she was getting divorced this came just six months after I lost my mother and father to cancer my world just fell apart. I have depression anxiety PTSD life is just so hard

I love your transparency and your compassion. Great points! Anyone can see that you are loving and caring person and Father. May God's healing be upon you and all the fathers who share our experiences.

I love seeing all the comments from others offering words of advice of support. It’s a gentle reminder that the internet doesn’t always have to be a place of hate and discontent.

Thank you!! I feel better after watching this. You’re amazing

I appreciate your transparency and willingness to share your testimony. It is hard . I've been a divorcee for 1 year but he left me 2 years ago and married the women he cheated on me with. 23 years of marriage smh. I wish them well but I'm praying the Lord will heal this wounded heart quickly. I can say God is my refuge and Strength and I couldn't have done it without him . I appreciate people sharing their experiences it helps me get through it .

You’re 100% spot on sir. I just happen to be going through my second divorce seeking some sort of guidance when I came across your video. What you’re saying is completely true. All of it. My first wife had an affair a second wife is leaving me due to a nervous break down. These feelings and these tips are real. Thank you for the advice, talking with someone is my next step. It helps to get thoughts and opinions from a third-party that is unbiased

I didn't cry for maybe 10yrs, now I am daily. Like many of you I am here after 15+yr relationship. I have children whom I used to live with and see daily. I was very involved as I worked part time. Now it will all change. I wasn't perfect, there was an element of taking things for granted after such a long time. I would never have ended it, but my wife did so I have no choice but to try and move on in some form...absolutely devastated 😭

I filed for divorce about seven years ago. I was married 16 years. It still hurts. We had two little boys together. Our boys are now 8 and 11. It still stings, especially during the holidays. I’m scared to remarry as I’m afraid. Any advice? We co-parent together and it’s a challenge at times. He did remarry and I really don’t like or agree with the person he married. They fight all the time and my boys don’t wanna go over to his house but it’s court ordered 50/50 custody.

Reading the comments bellow is heartbreaking. I think as men, when we commit our hearts to being in love with our family and when it falls apart, we carry that weight fully on our shoulders and in our hearts. Like we failed at protecting our love ones. And to some degree this is the truth. But I believe we are also contending with multiple forms of subversive, cultural sabotage of the family as well as male/female dynamics. Men are being more and more feminized and women more masculinized, and in the wrong ways. I know I fell into thinking I was doing all the right things as father and husband, but in hindsight, I wasn't being enough of "the man" in the relationship. I see it happen to many me as well. Stay strong.

Thanks for the post man. Going through the same thing now and also 39. Appreciate hearing how someone else experienced it. Good luck with everything

I'm 39 too. I was in a relationship for 4 years and I thought she was going to be the person who gave me the family I always wanted but she pulled the rug underneath my feet a few months ago. It's been an emotional roller-coaster since then and it's not easy. My mind sometimes tells me I will never find someone again but I know the mind can be one's worst enemy when allowed. I've done the online dating thing and boy is it demoralizing. I'm a high earner mind you and not bad looking at all but women these days ...... You'd be lucky if you get a beluga whale to acknowledge you with their laundry list of unrealistic demand.

I can't sleep right now, this feels like a nightmare I'm gonna wake from.. She finally admitted to me that she cheated although it was just a kiss that happened 18 months ago, I sensed something was going on and I'm pretty sure that she's done more than just that.. We were at the point of life getting good.. She graduates in a couple of months.. Half my life spent with this woman, 2 small children.. I feel alone, my friends are far away. I am broken

Needed to hear this Thank you 🙏🏻

Just a few months into my divorce. I've gotten so low, I've thought about how many ways I can end it. But we have 4 kids together. I can't leave them. She's gone and it feels like I lost my best friend in this world. Every day is a uphill climb but I try to find solace in the little things. I get to see my kids on the weekends, it's my only light it seems. I'm so alone. I feel so very alone. I hope it gets better.