🧠 NEXT AM I THE GENIUS STORY - kzfaq.info/sun/PL5FcevqxOz5tuU1qghkOUcBqGKHKXHO0f

My dad was a cop(he’s retired now) and one day he came home looking a little startled, my mother asked what was wrong and said “I had a rough day, this one criminal impressed me because we could never catch him until now. Today we asked him how he hid and he said ‘simple, disguises.

once got arrested for weed and graffiti. I was still a little high at the time but in a mostly clear state of mind. still once in the car I quickly asked if the officer would allow me to show him a trick. of course, he hesitated but unfortunately for him, im a great manipulator. so I talked him into letting me show him the trick and assured him that I wouldn't hurt him of myself he allowed me to get out of the car and stood in a defensive position, I asked if I would get more jail time for this, he said it depends on what the trick was. I wiggled around so the cuffs were infront of me instead of behind and then snapped. the cuffs were broken in half and now I just had bracelets. he said in his twenty or so years of law enforcement he's never had anyone do that and therefore let me off the hook. great guy, horrible officer.

To me...the prisoners who managed to escape from Alcatraz in 1962 were pretty damn clever. Whether they survived or not, its impressive how they pulled that off. 🤔

90 days to 45 years HOLY F***!!!!!!!!!!!!, I bet that sentencing hit harder than any drug he smuggled in jail lol XD

RE: First story... He'll get caught with tax evasion.. even criminal gains are taxed

No one talks about the best criminals they never get caught

2:56 *laps desk hard* "i want more pictures of spider man!"

#17 I 100% doubt it was one person but maybe hundreds. One student started it and other students after hearing about it kept it going as a collage prank. I would not be surprised if it kept going for many decades long after the first student that started it was long dead. I would not be surprised if the first students who started it ever knew that it kept going long after they graduated. If anyone is ever caught doing it they will find the person they caught was not born yet when it all started.

The bank robbers from Argentina actually didn't scape trough the river, they built a little dam on the sewer to raise the water level and went to the opposite side, then got the money and themselves out of a manhole into a van with a hole in the floor. This took almost a year of planning and was designed to exploit that there were protocols against armed robberies and breaching through the wall robberies, but not both at the same time.

45 years for cocaine, acid, and Molly smuggling? Some murderers get less time than that.

Story 13 is actually genius you could probably get away with it easily

that lauging cop story reminds me of an story as well quite simulair. an cop sees someone speeding by going over 30 km/h too fast so he tries pulling them over the guy tries to escape while the cop cheases him. verry soon he realizes what he is doing regrets it and pulls over. he aplogiizeswhen the cop and ask why he tried to flee. the cops says he has had a shitty day and really doesnt wanna deal with it so he tells the man if he can give him an good excuse of why he did it that he never heard before he gets of with an warning. so the guy tells the cop wel last week my wife left me for an cop and i was affraid you wanted to bring her back. the cop lets him go after laughing.

“ i am shatman “ missed opportunity lol

7:40 I remember hearing about this move. It's called "the Savannah" and it's a "past posting " scam that was started in the late 80s if memory serves. It was a twist on the previous strategy of past posting by swapping out the losses instead of the wins.

dude, i never saw a thief as smart as the thieves in the 3rd story. Some people may be like the 1st one, smart in law loopholes, but these guys got smarts in human habits

Exo one gameplay isn't something that you see that often, nice.

Story 15 is practically straight out of trailer park boys

12:51 - Don't you mean "I am the Terror that CRAPS in the night!"

Story 15. Sounds like a trailer park boys episode. Hell they even drive a 75 New Yorker.

Completely unrelated with the actual things being talked about... I'm curious though, what the hell is playing in the background? It looks freaking epic! :3

Story #1 “He is a man of focus, commitment and sheer will.” John Wick

I'm not a cop but cops never cease to amaze me with their criminal skills.

Story 3 is just emotional warfare man. Edit: typo

The 75 Yorker story is literally from Trailer Park Boys the movie. Lol I’m surprised it didn’t mention Alex Lifeson as being one of the arresting officers!

These are pretty fun stories 🙂

The phantom pooper 🤣🤣🤣

"no one ever seized his funds" yeah mate, joker doesn't mess with the IRS for a reason, it'll get found eventually

8:19 why is a random image of some people

Story 3s just funny af😂😂😂😂😂 I'd laugh If I was the one who got robbed that way

Haha the Walmart story is something I've been doing for awhile now just not with TV's and with a bigger number of Walmarts

Story #2 - Where the heck is J. Jonah Jameson when Spider-Man is ACTUALLY being a menace?

The isometric theif is the coolest. Isometric strength is way more useful than you think.

Not sure exactly what it was called but there was a TV show I saw where thieves broke into a money printing facility and held everyone hostage while they used the machinery to print actual real paper money.

the spider man guy really impressed me, if only it were not snowing lmao

The president, the IRS, most media outlets, Congress.

People say "Crime doesn't pay" But the reality is that it really fucking does and it pays BIG, that's why people commit crime in the first place, we wouldn't have so many criminals if it didn't pay.

Thanks for the vids

Hey! I live. In Bogotá. They live in massive apartments. Great video!

The perfect criminal just files SLAPP lawsuits and settles.

9:51 straight out of ocean's 8 lol

13:00 This reminds me of one of my favourite South Park episodes, Mystery of the Urinal Duece where Stan leaves a Fudge Dragon in the urinal.

Story 15 is from the trailer park boys 😂😂

Almost to the end, and I'm pretty sure that I haven't heard a single story of a smart female.

Not sure who that was, but someone replaced a whole display box (36 boosters) of Pokemon cards in a supermarket by my way to work. Packs looked legit, but the bottom edge was unsealed and these cards which slipped from the packaging were all low tier cards from older sets with no market value. Someone carefully replaced these boosters with "duds", presumably one by one since that box, though unsecured, was in the middle of the store. They used to keep these in a sealed boxes with key access, but I gues that some lessons are bound to be forgotten after years. Sadly, no gift for my kid.

Lmao the ATM story was the Trailer Park Boys movie.

The US justice system is weird : that guy got 45 years for drug trafic. You have to care for him half of life. Are'nt there for each infraction a set amount of years?

10:38 New thread for my Reddit account to join. Thank you.

That last story kind of makes me hope nobody on the outside accidently discovers his stash. Would really suck to have done all that time and have absolutely nothing to show for it.

“MF SPIDER-MAN”🤣

For that night pooper bit you get a sub

Anyone else notice that Story #15 was literally just a synopsis of the intro to "Trailer Park Boys The Movie"? 😂

Someone trolling with #15. That's just the beginning of one of the Trailer Park Boy movies.

The trailer park boys story 😂😂

Story #22 so the GTA V jewelry store heist well at least I now know where they got their inspiration or where he got his

18:43 that dudes smart as fuck just taking the 16 years to be set for life

The guy behind Story 9 is named Richard Marcus

#15 is from trailer park boys 😂

Hey I am interested in your specific perspective. People who don't fit the category: try to answer. me: stfu

Story 15 sounds alot like The trailer park Boys movie

Am I Genius?? Dude I’m going to guess that you are, I’ve listen to hundred of hours of ask Reddit / Reddit stories & I’ve always enjoyed the stories , but that robot voice will wear you down Your voice is killer!!! Plz many many more

I LOVE THIS VOICE ACTOR PLZ KEEP HIM FOR GUIENS

To me, Edmund Kemper, the 3rd. He got his criminal background wiped clean, and he was able to learn the answers to the physiatrist so he was let go. He is in prison now, but he used mind alterting training on another prisoner who was annoying people with singing.

The Punisher of course

Nahh bro didn't reach the pink level, he's illegally skilled

(Not exactly a smart criminal, but) Near my dad's hometown was a minimum-security prison. One guy successfully broke out to get Taco Bell. The caught him as he was sneaking back in.

_"Get me pictures of The Spider-Man!"_

inmate x, man, could have been me. I was getting weed/tobacco brought into jail. Won't say how. But I'd pick it up or have someone else on days my wife visited (didn't pass it in VI). So I'm home in a week, she comes and says she left it.I hadn't told her to. I didn't want it. I tried send someone else to retrieve, but CO called me and my celly. Not abnormal, we were all Italians and he fukked with us to degree. Knew we weren't going to waste time or try picking up cigarette butts when we walked outside. He drank on job and wanted all smooth .So, I pick it up, and the 1/2 drunk C.O. escorting us, pulls us into search room. 1st time he ever did it. We go into stalls, I'm shook, nowhere to ditch it. Other guy starts undressing, CO says to him "I don't want see that shit, just wait there a minute so bubble thinks I searched you"....I cou;dn't believe it. I think the CO would have looked other way, especially for some $. But for minute things got tight

10:48 that one trailer park boys scene?

Not a cop but a smart criminal. So, there was a drug dealer that used to supply my (deceased) friend. The man was smart. No one knew his actual name, he went by Weezy. He had 7 cars for every day of the week, all registered to different names. That way he was never seen driving the same car twice since he made daily deliveries across at least 5-6 towns. He would never do business with anyone unless a client not only vouched for this new person and had known them for at least five years. He was very professional. He had hours of operations, constant fresh supply of whatever drug you needed (he must have been connected). He even had vacation weeks, typically for two weeks. He would reach out to his clients to let them know that he would be unavailable and if they wanted to place orders then they had a week to do so. Weezy had been doing this for 20+ years without ever being arrested. I refer to people as clients because it was how he treated dealing; like a well functioned business. Very smart man, I never met him but I hope he’s still safe and doing what he does.

The iceman.

Never smile in a mugshot, opposing lawyer will use it to claim you have no remorse or morals

When are you going to post on Spotify again

#15 is from Trailer Park Boys

0:30 - maybe that guy was the ATF agent in charge of distributing guns to the Michoacán-Guanajuato region? :v

Okay but what is the game the person is playing in the background. I need it!!

Story 13 tho 😳😂😂

#15 is Trailer park boys.

I’m so confused about what even is the gameplay in the background

8:19 WTF was that shot of the astronauts??

THATS ME IN GTA V 17:22

The story with the cop who was locked out his car I heard before on another thread but it was from the guy who did it lol...either it was the same story or cops need to keep better track of their keys

I really like the game in the background, what game is it?

Number 15 is just a reference to trailer park boys.

12:57 I AM DARKWING DUCK!

This isnt that related but here: So in the early 90s in Iran my dad was a member of the Iranian milatry police and his rank was a ranger and over there that's pretty much like commander so at the time they had like a on base prison becuase they were in a conflict with the mafia so this dosent sound belivble at all but HEAR ME OUT a guard at night had the key to the armory so the prisoner pickpockted him and jumped him uno reversed him and let out the other prisoners and they got guns from the armory now at this point the alarm was going off and my dad and his men were in a gunfight and somehow no one got hurt but 14 people escaped but 13 got recaptured and sent back

wtf is there a space team around 8:16

What game is being played in the video

I've Seen Money heist or Casa De Papel very great show

Uh why did a photo of astronauts blink in for 2 frames after story 9

I think I know who the guy is that is referred to in the first story lol.

Robbed a Walmart for 2 Xbox 1s was around the time they just launched my friend worked at the Walmart that was badly understaffed told me on this day the secret shopper called in sick so told him leave the display case unlocked walked in picked up up 2 Xbox’s some games and simply walked out got away with it easily

12:30 put smth in the food

Bit off topic, what game is that in the background?

Second story is real life Assassin’s Creed or Sly Cooper stuff

That jewelry thief he wasnt michael de santa was he

Pretty sure story 15 was the trailer park boys movie

I swear the one about the atm and the cartons of cigarettes is from the trailer park boys

What’s the game in the background?

Bruh why didn't you turn into glide mode in the clouds?