5 Reasons You Should STOP Being Nervous Around Women | Courtney Ryan

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Courtney Ryan

Courtney Ryan

3 жыл бұрын

In this video, I go over 5 reasons you shouldn't be nervous around women. Getting nervous makes us human and chances are...she's nervous too. Thank you all so much for watching and let me know what you think in the comments below!
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Пікірлер: 1 100
@chinmaybhabadYT
@chinmaybhabadYT 3 жыл бұрын
"We suffer in our imagination more than in real life"
@antonboludo8886
@antonboludo8886 3 жыл бұрын
Exactly.
@trevorfrayne6418
@trevorfrayne6418 3 жыл бұрын
So true.
@cbrown6848
@cbrown6848 3 жыл бұрын
Get married and you won't have to just imagine suffering 😅🤣😅🤣
@antonboludo8886
@antonboludo8886 3 жыл бұрын
@@cbrown6848 A man once asked a woman to marry him. She said "No". And he lived happily ever after... 😊
@simoneracioppa5733
@simoneracioppa5733 2 жыл бұрын
I don't think so. We suffer in both ways equal.
@jasonnguyen685
@jasonnguyen685 3 жыл бұрын
Actually asked out a girl yesterday because we could have a decent conversation. Was rejected which stung but at least I won't have the regret of 'what if'.
@CroneRaven1810
@CroneRaven1810 3 жыл бұрын
Great job mate! This might not mean much but I'm proud of you. You will find your girl :)
@matsuwd-emethdaath4002
@matsuwd-emethdaath4002 3 жыл бұрын
Keep it going sure...just makes It easier to approach next time...each rejection is a door closer to acceptance😋
@jeffjohnson5544
@jeffjohnson5544 3 жыл бұрын
Great that you asked! Keep going...
@beautifulspirit7420
@beautifulspirit7420 3 жыл бұрын
Go for it Ryan. So few guys approach women. I know some gorgeous women who never get approached even though they are very friendly. I know it must be intimidating but "Faint heart never won fair maiden".
@oceanhedonist265
@oceanhedonist265 3 жыл бұрын
@@beautifulspirit7420 Yeah, and I know some gorgeous women who feel insulted that the average to above average guy would think he stood any chance of going out with them due their princess entitlement mentality.
@Noob-ee2cy
@Noob-ee2cy 3 жыл бұрын
I think it’s more about how to express yourself authentically rather than focusing on trying to impress
@antonboludo8886
@antonboludo8886 3 жыл бұрын
That is correct.
@trevorfrayne6418
@trevorfrayne6418 3 жыл бұрын
I like your summary of what Courtney said.
@christianserna9528
@christianserna9528 3 жыл бұрын
No way, you where rejected. That foo was whack!!! Lol
@adaptivegamer9905
@adaptivegamer9905 3 жыл бұрын
Exactly. I act like myself everytime and if she's not into it, idc🤷🏽 never conform for someone to 'like you".
@slickcatricky7694
@slickcatricky7694 3 жыл бұрын
whats your take on the idea that when you validate push pull even if you get the girl she will never be submissive to you and you will never be her"Alpha Male"?
@lfr2112
@lfr2112 3 жыл бұрын
Guys that get nervous do so for mainly two reasons: A) we're interested and are constantly telling ourselves, mentally, "do not f-ck this up"; you might not like to read this, but many guys are aware that many girls will get easily turned off by trivial things, and that can put a guy on edge, and, B) as some people have pointed out in other comments, there's the worry of harassment accusations. Also, a nervous woman is viewed as "cute" and "endearing", but a nervous man is viewed as pathetic. I sincerely wish this wasn't so, but it is.
@binarioochentaycinco4791
@binarioochentaycinco4791 2 жыл бұрын
You are right. That level of entitled behavior from them like "at the first strike you are out" the dating dynamics more shitty than already is. I wish they understand men are humans, that will help to make women to make themselves a little bit more approachable.
@7860092
@7860092 2 жыл бұрын
True
@mikeg3439
@mikeg3439 2 жыл бұрын
It's basic biology. Girls are genetically a female, designed to carry, deliver and raise a child. Men are genetically male, designed to fight, defend, extert force, protect. A nervous man, it's in the female DNA to be concerned that this is not an effective male.
@7860092
@7860092 2 жыл бұрын
@@mikeg3439 omg thats why i get no girls :( how to up ur confidence then?
@mikeg3439
@mikeg3439 2 жыл бұрын
@@7860092 Fake it until you make it. This works. It just takes a lot of work, some learn it sooner than others.
@o0QuAdSh0t0o
@o0QuAdSh0t0o 3 жыл бұрын
1. Girls get nervous too 2. Do you even like her? 3. Do not overthink it 4. Stop trying to impress her 5. Rejection is normal
@codychen9036
@codychen9036 3 жыл бұрын
I’d like to add, we’re all human and we should think of each other as equals
@drip369
@drip369 3 жыл бұрын
@@codychen9036 equally human, for sure. There are still good and bad people so it is still good to be on guard when dealing with someone, man or woman, that you don't know
@NikiDimitrov
@NikiDimitrov 3 жыл бұрын
The majority of the time you get rejected.
@tonygicz8
@tonygicz8 3 жыл бұрын
Don't put her on a pedestal.
@rockoutconsiderably
@rockoutconsiderably 3 жыл бұрын
Don't just look at this list, make sure to watch the whole video
@federalnutify
@federalnutify 3 жыл бұрын
The ending makes a lot of sense, talk to everyone to practice being in social environments 👏
@Servant1666
@Servant1666 3 жыл бұрын
At work is perfect practice for purely social interaction
@brendenmoldy
@brendenmoldy 3 жыл бұрын
yup, most can't even have a natural convo with random dudes, so of course chatting with hot babes is a challenge!
@vanner66
@vanner66 3 жыл бұрын
ITS REVEN. Gg
@federalnutify
@federalnutify 3 жыл бұрын
@@vanner66 always love too see a fellow Star Wars fan 👏🔥
@EtherTheReal
@EtherTheReal 3 жыл бұрын
Lmao love the sarcasm😂🤣
@aidan7646
@aidan7646 3 жыл бұрын
I feel the underlying reason for this is that a lot of men are making women the focus way too much and this subconsciously makes them pedestalize them. Attraction is a natural process so making it a focus gives more resistance. When you have something that you care about more it feels more natural and becomes way easier
@cbrown6848
@cbrown6848 3 жыл бұрын
@Simon Edwards nah... for every woman like courtney there are simps galore to cater to her 😅🤣😅
@Nah-ah
@Nah-ah 2 жыл бұрын
Correct!
@Nah-ah
@Nah-ah 2 жыл бұрын
@@cbrown6848 whether you know it or like it or not, you are ‘’simping’’ to Courtney’s channel, giving her channel a further reach in audience adding more to her channel in popularity 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼😂
@MarvellousMorbing
@MarvellousMorbing 2 жыл бұрын
This Aidan
@onyekaabasiri5100
@onyekaabasiri5100 3 жыл бұрын
I think not overthinking is huge. I’ve noticed when I don’t overthink the interaction and just be in the present moment it works out a lot better. I tend to be way more relaxed and it seems the girl is relaxed as well. Great video!
@HorrorWorldx
@HorrorWorldx 3 жыл бұрын
I’ve always been scared because in my past a girl made fun of me and ever since then i couldn’t go up to one. It sucks, It was just a little thing that happened in my childhood and now i feel like they will always have some shit to say about me. But i shouldn’t let that negativity affect me anymore because it’s destroying me in the inside. It wasn’t just her that made me feel insecure about myself, I’ve been in many other situations where i was put down a long time ago.
@JohnDoe-pf6qp
@JohnDoe-pf6qp 3 жыл бұрын
This is one of the upsides to being ugly. Guys are nervous around women because they hope there might be interest. When you know there is none it makes it very easy.
@JoseyWales1865
@JoseyWales1865 3 жыл бұрын
Confidence goes farther than looks do
@ericv5435
@ericv5435 3 жыл бұрын
@@JoseyWales1865 but women notice looks way before anything else.
@ricardogalindo8794
@ricardogalindo8794 3 жыл бұрын
@@JoseyWales1865 confidence goes farther. Yes! But! The initial attraction is very important, which is based on "looks" first. This is what people, like yourself, who believe in "confidence goes a long way" phrase seem not to comprehend? That the initial attraction matters 30%, the rest is all of the non-surface traits. "Looks" is what differentiates if a woman sees you as a date potential or just a friend, confidence and character traits have no connection in their decisions ( date potential vs friendzoned). A friendzoned guy, is usually kept around due to their positive qualities as a person, but aren't "date worthy" due to the superficial, not her "type." That's cold hard reality.
@jeffjohnson5544
@jeffjohnson5544 3 жыл бұрын
@@ericv5435 Looks are overrated. Think about all the average looking guys you see with a cute woman.
@ericv5435
@ericv5435 3 жыл бұрын
@@jeffjohnson5544 it's because the guys are rich
@yutongjoshzhao4766
@yutongjoshzhao4766 3 жыл бұрын
“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom” I’ve been doing some reading in this topic and it is actually much more crucial to living a happy life than many have realized. As human, we have anxiety because we see possibilities of situations and are conscious of our own potentials. But unfortunately we are wired to that ‘fight or flight’ mechanism that makes us see social situations that pose no actual danger as dangerous. So anxiety is actually more than a symptom of something but a part of human experience. Those who can harness it will tap into a source of power that can make you almost unstoppable. One just need to trust one’s emotional resilience and realize that, no matter it’s up or down, as long as you love yourself, you are going to be alright.
@joshmccauley5074
@joshmccauley5074 3 жыл бұрын
Powerful words of wisdom my brother! 💯
@ashvideoer
@ashvideoer 3 жыл бұрын
Wow, that's an amazing perspective man 👌👌
@johnd.2803
@johnd.2803 3 жыл бұрын
A lot of our anxieties are from previous things that have happened, hoping they do not repeat themselves
@herculeeza
@herculeeza 2 жыл бұрын
I don't have any tattoos, but if I did I'd tattoo that last sentence on my chest
@wvb7812
@wvb7812 3 жыл бұрын
When you’re nervous around someone, it makes them nervous too. Women expect a man to lead, and nervous people don’t make good leaders. Now if only I could stop being nervous around women.
@robertdevoy3119
@robertdevoy3119 3 жыл бұрын
Pretend you're talking to a family member. Also, have no expectations that you will get a phone number. This will help you relax and appear confident.
@05liuric
@05liuric 3 жыл бұрын
Hahaha, assertiveness trait you mean.
@homiesenatep
@homiesenatep 3 жыл бұрын
You don't need to act like a leader, just be confident as you are
@Eserr7856
@Eserr7856 3 жыл бұрын
Dont try to control your nerves because that makes you anxious. nerves is just energy inside you, just let it pass.
@Moonkay-mx2nf
@Moonkay-mx2nf 3 жыл бұрын
Try being autistic with dating etc, it's a disaster waiting to happen. This is from an autistic person. I'd be interested in other people's perspective on neurological differences (autism) and dating.
@truealpha7258
@truealpha7258 3 жыл бұрын
I actually talked to this girl in my apartment, and she is from wales. When I approached in the lift, she actually seemed very friendly and talkative. Honestly, i felt like it was clicking for the first time which I am really proud of!
@beautifulspirit7420
@beautifulspirit7420 3 жыл бұрын
Welsh people are generally very friendly. Keep chatting when you see her, at the least its good practice.
@Edwin6264.
@Edwin6264. 3 жыл бұрын
True Alpha
@ashla8012
@ashla8012 3 жыл бұрын
Haha that’s because she is from Wales, here girls are not only not friendly also their faces are always angry for no reason 😂
@garmisra7841
@garmisra7841 3 жыл бұрын
@@ashla8012 Note the attitude of the world's most famous Welsman-by-adoption, Lemmy: "You Know I'm born to Lose and gambling's for fools...but that's the way I like it baby - I don't want to live forever!" Shoot your shot!
@MrTchupam
@MrTchupam 2 жыл бұрын
So did it click?
@luketimewalker
@luketimewalker Жыл бұрын
Also on rejection. Your inbox is full of WOWs, every day. Heads turning in the street as well, daily. Your "I've been there too!" is equivalent to saying "I've skipped dinner once I know the feeling", to someone starving, increasingly malnourished, and not knowing whether he'll ever food find again. Yet having to act casual in front of a feast? You've not "totally been there" - you've *partially* been there. Some of the anxiety we share, you indeed have experienced. The rest of it, you will never - unless you get very old and try to chase younger men to no avail. ...and that, is a comfort zone you in your vision of things, that you are blissfully unaware of. Otherwise, great vid as usual. Yeah, small talk helps towards bigger talk.
@Chopperboy561
@Chopperboy561 3 жыл бұрын
The biggest fear any person can have is their imagination. The idea of making up any situation, putting words into your brain, making things appear bigger/smaller than they actually are. Your imagination can destroy you and this goes for everything.
@CourtneyRyan
@CourtneyRyan 3 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@SteinerSE
@SteinerSE 3 жыл бұрын
You and your mind is always your own worst critic and enemy. You need to overcome your insecurities and fears and be on top of them, but it's all too easy to be consumed by them instead.
@rjhuncho1673
@rjhuncho1673 3 жыл бұрын
Might just be my opinion, but I feel like an over active imagination to the point of personal detriment in men, comes from a lack of understanding of female nature and the repression of masculinity by society. Most men, especially if you're not tall enough, broke, ugly... will feel as if they do not have a voice. Focus on ur selves and not female acknowledgement. Build and they will come bruddas 💯
@jamesinman7364
@jamesinman7364 3 жыл бұрын
Big facts Chopperboy561
@darioschaeffer5513
@darioschaeffer5513 2 жыл бұрын
And the greatest nation EVER: Imagination
@thebook2335
@thebook2335 3 жыл бұрын
Something that helped me with being more comfortable is just knowing that things will work out and everything is not the end all be all. situations that you know will work out will cause less anxiety
@icm65
@icm65 3 жыл бұрын
Sometimes a woman’s personality is her best form of birth control.
@espenfn3195
@espenfn3195 3 жыл бұрын
Damn bro
@blakemogus6145
@blakemogus6145 3 жыл бұрын
Your put it in the back door 🚪
@darioschaeffer5513
@darioschaeffer5513 2 жыл бұрын
And sometimes a guys personality is a great form of Darwinism
@darioschaeffer5513
@darioschaeffer5513 2 жыл бұрын
@@blakemogus6145 gangman style 😎
@antoinecharlesdegaulle580
@antoinecharlesdegaulle580 2 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂Good one
@dusanslavnic4727
@dusanslavnic4727 2 жыл бұрын
As someone who doesn't enjoy social events nearly as much as most people my age seem to, approaching a woman is generally near the bottom of my list of fun things when compared to all the other things I could be doing unless it is woman I already know and I have a specific topic to talk about
@vazquezosmy
@vazquezosmy Жыл бұрын
Tism boyyss
@KirksDrumRoom
@KirksDrumRoom 3 жыл бұрын
Saying hello to people REALLY helped me out of my comfort zone with women! Great point!
@niceguyinmypreviouslifebad9264
@niceguyinmypreviouslifebad9264 3 жыл бұрын
When Men get nervous or scared they should think: *"What would Batman do?."*
@niceguyinmypreviouslifebad9264
@niceguyinmypreviouslifebad9264 3 жыл бұрын
Batman ain't scared of anything or anyone and he does what he does without allowing fear to affect him.
@sebswede9005
@sebswede9005 3 жыл бұрын
More like: *what would Bruce Wayne do?*
@timothyrobinson2387
@timothyrobinson2387 3 жыл бұрын
@@sebswede9005 Only problem with that is Bruce Wayne is a "Chad". Most of us, not so much. Lol!!
@sebswede9005
@sebswede9005 3 жыл бұрын
@@timothyrobinson2387 just because you're not a Chad, doesn't mean you can have a Chad mentality.
@niceguyinmypreviouslifebad9264
@niceguyinmypreviouslifebad9264 3 жыл бұрын
@@sebswede9005 who the f*ck asked you to correct me?.
@jasoncampbell7337
@jasoncampbell7337 2 жыл бұрын
Courtney, thank you for all the insight. I just got over a 30 year relationship and I'm very nervous about going out and dating. I've never been confident around women, but this helps take some of the edge off of my new journey.
@brenthewitt758
@brenthewitt758 3 жыл бұрын
That's absolutely so head on when you said there alot at stake mentality and I really think that's can really do a mind trip on your action in a date or anything of importance.
@kittykitty643
@kittykitty643 3 жыл бұрын
I just started doing what it is you are referring too, you are absolutely correct! I just got out of a 13 year divorce battle and then Covid hit. I started speaking to everyone and have become more comfortable speaking to ladies.
@petaakolarov135
@petaakolarov135 3 жыл бұрын
Great video Courtney! Ive been in a serious relationship for awhile now, but I watch your videos to support your channel and learn something new here and there!! Guys, just by eliminating the scarcity mindset and keeping your options open, will make a tremendous difference in your dating life and overall confidence
@fatipj86
@fatipj86 3 жыл бұрын
At the end of the day just build great confidence with yourself first in things that matter to you and your confidence will come naturally but first you gotta love being by yourself and work on those weaknesses you have. Great vid Courtney 💯
@festepuck3969
@festepuck3969 3 жыл бұрын
As for doing something out my comfort zone: I was able talk to a gorgeous girl at the gym today. Thanks to your story about that time when you were on the treadmill + your tips on how to tell interest, the whole experience was so much fun because I also did not focus on any outcome.
@chrialivest
@chrialivest 3 жыл бұрын
I know the scarcity mindset was what held me back for a long time. Plus, I lacked confidence. I still get a little nervous, but now I approach a woman as possibly making a friend rather than looking for a girlfriend. Or, I’m hoping to have a good conversation with a woman and then I’ll see where it goes. But, the change in my mental approach has changed everything for me. I’m less nervous and the fear of rejection is much, much less. Great video and I couldn’t agree more with the points that were brought up. Keep up the good work!
@kolbydjones5871
@kolbydjones5871 2 жыл бұрын
Wow. Thank you Courtney, so so needed. This has been my BIGGEST hurdle!! Solid advice 👌 💯
@kenrickbautista6141
@kenrickbautista6141 3 жыл бұрын
I'm glad this video was made. From my personal experience, I get real nervous about asking someone because I fear of being viewed as a creep or a bad guy. So I know what it's like.
@rino7789
@rino7789 3 жыл бұрын
And on the topic of rejection, I have heard numerous girls tell me that girls aren't supposed to be rejected, only guys.
@garydj8528
@garydj8528 9 ай бұрын
After watching some over your videos. Im realizing i really do need to focus on my own confidence in myself and stop putting myself down when things don't go the way i want. Thank you
@cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy5
@cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy5 2 жыл бұрын
Hey Courtney, thanks to your videos I gained courage and overcame my fear today. I walked over to two girls in town and talked to them for a while. You were right. They were also stressed out like me. I will continue to try to overcome my anxiety and fear. Thanks again ❤😊
@supratrd900
@supratrd900 3 жыл бұрын
I think for guys the nervousness comes from the current #metoomovement. So some guys are afraid to go for what they want. 2nd rejection just sucks overall so guys are afraid and get nervous in hopes of not messing things up between them. 3rd his friends will make fun of him or worst he has to see this woman on a consistent basis (assuming they work together).
@jadonsjourney
@jadonsjourney 3 жыл бұрын
say hi to everyone i saw is exactly how i started to get over my social anxiety!
@seckoya
@seckoya 3 жыл бұрын
That's a good start. And how are is your day going along so far?
@jmforeveryoung
@jmforeveryoung 3 жыл бұрын
Those are good tips. I’m doing them and it really helps. Practice over and over again. Do what you are scared of doing
@wadefox4172
@wadefox4172 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for being so kind, your help is appreciate more than word can describe.
@Bjorn_R
@Bjorn_R 3 жыл бұрын
There are stages to social interaction. When I first started, I had trouble even looking strangers in the eye, when I passed by them on the street. I figured "How can I hope to talk to a person i like and look them in the eye, if I cant even look a stranger I have no relation to, in the eye?" Sounds silly, but It helped my confidence a lot.
@beautifulspirit7420
@beautifulspirit7420 3 жыл бұрын
My daughter who is 18 said she has been doing this. She is feeling very shy since COVID and the lack of socializing. So she said she is really making an effort to be friendly and make eye contact. Practice makes perfect!
@mannyt409
@mannyt409 Жыл бұрын
I struggle with eye contact as well. But, I'm currently working on it.
@adambusenlehner3689
@adambusenlehner3689 3 жыл бұрын
I agree with the comment about "not needing". That's why I'm never nervous about meeting women. If she doesn't like me--fine. I'll just go back to being alone for a while. I'm happy either way.
@nigelkirk9294
@nigelkirk9294 3 жыл бұрын
Hi Courtney! You are always the voice of reason with sound practical and constructive advice. Thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart for your wonderful words of wisdom. Truly appreciated by me! I am working through your other videos on KZfaq since i discovered you 2 weeks ago, when time permits. They are extremely helpful and you are always engaging. Giving a thumbsup like barely does justice to how superb they are. I look forward to the next topic with great anticipation. x
@richardvega4903
@richardvega4903 2 жыл бұрын
Your affirmations are spot on, much appreciated insight !
@stevew4079
@stevew4079 3 жыл бұрын
Nervous? Nothing worse than stage fright at the wrong moment 😂 Maybe it’s me getting a little older (and hopefully wiser!) but I just meet women as people. I’m pretty casual/ easy going anyway...and notice that I have women comfortably talking to me. My missing piece is...where to from there. I think I might be slipping more into the, ‘hey, he’s a nice guy’ friend thing.
@DiggitySchwag
@DiggitySchwag 3 жыл бұрын
Once you’re in the door, that’s when you just say what you want how you want it. If they’re not interested, you’re not either. Walk away and move on to the next.
@travis6694
@travis6694 3 жыл бұрын
@@DiggitySchwag sounds about right
@MrKrusten
@MrKrusten 3 жыл бұрын
Im like this too but as you pointed out already, theres the risk of getting into the friendzone. When you behave like a friend, then theres a chance she'll see you as a friend. Personally i find it quite easy to show intention and interest once i've built some connection though. I just have to remind myself to actually start doing it at some point
@BlueGamerCast
@BlueGamerCast 3 жыл бұрын
@@DiggitySchwag bruh this is so cold but the absolute truth
@oceanhedonist265
@oceanhedonist265 3 жыл бұрын
@@BlueGamerCast My rule is if they try and friend zone me I'm going to return the favor and treat them as a casual acquaintance. The only women I really keep as friends are family members, friend's wives and girlfriends, and women that I'm not physically attracted to.
@thegray5730
@thegray5730 3 жыл бұрын
If you pretend to be rich, educated, etc. she'll see right through it. If you say, "I will become rich, educated, etc." there's points to be gained from the confidence/drive.
@funkfarmer7125
@funkfarmer7125 3 жыл бұрын
Or I could just be rich and educated, and not care what they see or think.
@backpackingtony1779
@backpackingtony1779 3 жыл бұрын
Hey Courtney! Just wanted to say, it's kind of a rough period for me (not going bore you with the details), but seeing your new videos always guaranteed to put a smile on my face, and make me forget my trouble even if for just a moment. What I mean is, your stuff means a lot, to a whole lot of people, more than you can imagine. You're like the girl next door/big sister for many of us, and as such, always welcome. Cheers and keep up the good work!
@TimXMan1000
@TimXMan1000 3 жыл бұрын
I love your videos. Not only do your videos help with dating advice but self improvement.
@devnotes00
@devnotes00 3 жыл бұрын
"The only fear we have to fear is fear itself" -Franklin D Roosevelt Edit: dang autocorrect
@trumpetplyr21
@trumpetplyr21 3 жыл бұрын
Will the assignment be graded on a curve? All kidding aside, I needed this reminder today. Thanks Courtney 😊
@SLAF999
@SLAF999 3 жыл бұрын
As usual, great content Courtney! Thanks for the advise....now I feel like in high school, sunday afternoon knowing a have a homework to be done.....hopefully the teacher is nice, but also demands results!
@sabbirhoque6941
@sabbirhoque6941 3 жыл бұрын
Dear Courtney, thanks for boosting my confidence. I really wanted to talk to this lady for a while (like 3 years) and finally had the courage to say hi because of your this video. You wanted to get me out of my comfort zone and I had to try. Before I approached her, I was nervous as hell. She was friendly and understanding about my shyness for which I was really thankful. A huge thank you to you Courtney, I would give you a hug if you were in Perth, Western Australia :)...
@kc270352
@kc270352 3 жыл бұрын
when you learn how to talk to people in general, it will become second nature
@SoulTouchMusic93
@SoulTouchMusic93 3 жыл бұрын
"but i've been rejected by a person who've i really liked before" one, as in singular and stopped asking ever since unless she had only success ever since. she wouldn't even ask anybody after that rejection! XD god damn! now imagine that feeling again and again and again.
@adrianchatman5734
@adrianchatman5734 3 жыл бұрын
Underrated comment!
@oceanhedonist265
@oceanhedonist265 3 жыл бұрын
Facts!
@vitamindealer7915
@vitamindealer7915 2 жыл бұрын
This is one the issues i find with women giving dating advice. Their success happens way, way faster, and then they say ‘oh see its not so hard’ and their positivity, ego, is intact
@trappart9209
@trappart9209 2 жыл бұрын
Your videos totally make sense and I hear from you many things, which I already learned from my own experience and analysis. In order to be confident a person has to achieve some level of maturity. And there is no need to act or force yourself to do things in which you actually don't believe. Growing as a person requires being in uncomfortable situations and making mistakes while doing what you find right
@LiauJustin
@LiauJustin 3 жыл бұрын
This might be your best video yet, thanks and keep up the great work!
@JohnM...
@JohnM... 3 жыл бұрын
You're nervous because your attitude in any social situation should be: I wonder if I will like her/these people. Develop self assuredness by doing things alone that fill you with joy and contentment.
@optimismdaily1023
@optimismdaily1023 3 жыл бұрын
I think it's just people in general, not just women. I feel like it's also how we think they carry themselves. That's just how it is.
@magnusdelange1189
@magnusdelange1189 3 жыл бұрын
I loved the homework part! It gives such a personal touch to the video!
@quattron-1126
@quattron-1126 Жыл бұрын
You are so articulate. Very smart. Thank you for helping men. You do understand what we go through. It’s difficult to talk to a woman who is very attractive.
@steveh88
@steveh88 3 жыл бұрын
"Nervous" doesn't ever begin to do it justice. I used to be an absolute mess. 1) A new girl at work once asked why I didn't say much. I intended to tell her that I'm shy and quiet. Nope. Mr. Smooth here said "Well, I'm quy and shiet". 2) Once night after our company softball game, we all went out for drinks and dinner. The girl I has a crush on was sitting in a booth behind me. She tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I knew what the girl was saying in the song that was playing. It was in French so I told her I had no idea. A minute later... tap tap on the shoulder again. I turned to face her and she asked me again. I joked that I had not learned French since the last time she asked. She said "The girl is singing to a guy and she is saying 'will you go home w/ me tonight?'". Then just stared at me. Right in the eyes. In my mind I was like "if I was watching this from another person's perspective I'd think she was hitting on him", but she was incredibly cute so my mind also told me there's no way that's what this was. So, I said, and I quote "Oh...", then turned back around. So I literally turned my back on her. 3) I was leaving Best Buy one day and another one of my crushes walked in. She came over and gave me a hello hug. I asked what she was up to. She told me she was there to buy a computer, even though she didn't know much about them. At the time I worked for a software company, as an inside sales rep, that sold computers, network equipment, and medical software to doctors offices. I absolutely could have helped. Did I offer? Of course not. I was awkward around her, and, honest to God, before I knew what was happening, and without doing it on purpose, I just kind of started to turn to leave. Just like that. Mid conversation. That's not even the worst of it. I was at work the next day and told someone "Hey, guess who I saw at Best Buy yesterday". It was then, and only then, a full day later, than it occurred to me I could have offered to help. There are quite a few other stories, but I think that pretty much puts the picture in the frame.
@fischersfritz468
@fischersfritz468 3 жыл бұрын
It seems despite being shy you are quite liked by the women.
@oceanhedonist265
@oceanhedonist265 3 жыл бұрын
Don't sweat it man. Women love to put you on the spot, just like taking selfies to give themselves an endorphin rush.
@steveh88
@steveh88 3 жыл бұрын
@@fischersfritz468 I guess. Back when I cared about these things, I had a decent amount of chances. I did an outstanding job of squandering them, but at least the opportunities were there
@fischersfritz468
@fischersfritz468 3 жыл бұрын
@@steveh88 outch. Despite being tall, slender and well educated (master degree) something like this never happened to me. I think it's better like this.
@darthvader7010
@darthvader7010 2 жыл бұрын
I kinda used to be the same brotha, what helped me out a lot is kind of just trick yourself and just be their friend in the beginning that way it’s not so awkward and overthinking what to say , afterwards when everything is all Gucci the first encounter then you can decide if you want to blast her cheeks in.
@FreakinfreakInfreaki
@FreakinfreakInfreaki 3 жыл бұрын
Anytime I'm around women my brain just goes "what even is English?". And yeah even if I don't like her. I'm just terrified of people.
@PK-px9hu
@PK-px9hu 3 жыл бұрын
Try meeting hookers regularly, then you don't care about your everday's women.
@FreakinfreakInfreaki
@FreakinfreakInfreaki 3 жыл бұрын
@@PK-px9hu that's a big NO
@PK-px9hu
@PK-px9hu 3 жыл бұрын
@@FreakinfreakInfreaki lol, don't believe the snowflakes and feminists, there are many hookers who enjoy their job- at least more than hard, manual underpaid labor...
@TomFox1
@TomFox1 2 жыл бұрын
I’m glad I found this channel, very straight forward
@tombowler6458
@tombowler6458 9 ай бұрын
Wow Courtney thank you for being so frank about your anxiety issues I find that so endearing I hope you are overcoming those issues to the best of your abilities
@lightningmonky7674
@lightningmonky7674 2 жыл бұрын
My problem is just my horrible experiences in middle and high school when it comes to women, kids can be cruel at that age, especially to late bloomers. Now that I've matured and grown into myself, plenty of nice and beautiful women have been into me, but my past doesn't let me see past it for some reason
@timothywenk6567
@timothywenk6567 3 жыл бұрын
Some guys don't approach women because they KNOW in advance they're gonna get rejected (so why even try?) --- I'm one of those guys. :-(
@ricardogalindo8794
@ricardogalindo8794 3 жыл бұрын
I am too...but I still try. See, I just go there without expectations. I go there thinking that I'll get rejected anyways, but I hide it by just talking and making jokes.
@jeffaber8332
@jeffaber8332 3 жыл бұрын
Juice not worth the squeeze.
@RezeHB
@RezeHB 3 жыл бұрын
C’om bro, the more rejected you get, the more experienced you’ll be. One day you won’t have any problem to give a damn when talking to them and magically they will start showing interest in you.
@oceanhedonist265
@oceanhedonist265 3 жыл бұрын
Don't worry about it dude. At least you want be spending a lot of time and money and energy on someone that is never going to be satisfied. Always put yourself first!
@fixer1140
@fixer1140 3 жыл бұрын
I'm not worried about rejection, I'm worried about HR calling me because I simply said "hello, welcome aboard"
@PraveenSrJ01
@PraveenSrJ01 Жыл бұрын
Awesome 👏 video!!! Thank you so much Courtney!
@Benson32273
@Benson32273 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for the information. Much appreciated!!
@andrewhaynes2448
@andrewhaynes2448 3 жыл бұрын
I've just signed up to a watchmaking class! Comfort zone? What comfort zone? 😉
@LeeEverett1
@LeeEverett1 3 жыл бұрын
Love your content Courtney, but I disagree with your point on girls being just as nervous as we are. Girls are approached every single day and interact with multiple men on a daily basis whether it's from approaches or social media. They are used to talking to the opposite gender and are much more comfortable due to the experience of interactions. Men on the other hand have to go out of their way to talk to girls to get the experience, which is where alot of guys struggle with getting started. That's why some are super nervous because they just aren't used to actually talking to girls other than maybe co workers or family.
@adrianhanekom6977
@adrianhanekom6977 3 жыл бұрын
Thank You Courtney. You are so calm and relax throughout the video which I love,But just thank you for the tips and everything awesome video and channel
@devinspiegelhalter7632
@devinspiegelhalter7632 Жыл бұрын
Video is nearly 2 years old, but it just now popped up. I think this is an incredible video. One of Courtney’s best!
@cbrown6848
@cbrown6848 3 жыл бұрын
Remember she's used to this... by the time she even turns 18 she has been approached 100s of times. She won't fall to her knees nervous over another random guy approaching her 😅🤣😅🤣
@garouuchiha4041
@garouuchiha4041 3 жыл бұрын
Male and female are different, females have more experience due to that in both ways, girls already been tested in both worlds of good and evil and the unknown, us men too but mainly women, we all know that women are used and abused for money, advertisement, etc., Such as sex trafficking, modeling clothes, make up, etc.
@cbrown6848
@cbrown6848 2 жыл бұрын
@@garouuchiha4041 yeah those models sure are abused as they make killer money lol
@cbrown6848
@cbrown6848 2 жыл бұрын
@@garouuchiha4041 women would kill to be make up or runway models or in commercials... are you seriously so dim and deluded of a simp you compare that to human trafficking? Have you ever actually dated a female?
@garouuchiha4041
@garouuchiha4041 2 жыл бұрын
@@cbrown6848 I think you misunderstood me. I was proving a point that women are tested more than us men because they are a female and they have experience of many situations due to that that are being preyed upon.
@cbrown6848
@cbrown6848 2 жыл бұрын
@@garouuchiha4041 men don't test women. You ever tested a female? Only women run tests
@ericv5435
@ericv5435 3 жыл бұрын
I don't give a shit about rejection. I know most attractive women will reject me anyway so with anything involving women, I go into it with very low expectations. I know she won't like me so I just don't care.
@guitarista666
@guitarista666 3 жыл бұрын
Eric, that's a self-fulfilling prophesy, isn't it? Do you mean all attractive women reject you or just some?
@uoabigaillevey
@uoabigaillevey 2 жыл бұрын
I'd say a better mindset is not to expect or anticipate rejection.. but to not worry about if there is rejection or not. Do not invest any emotional attachment to the situation at all. Literally do not worry about it one way or the other. If it goes your way then great.. and if not then shelf it for a later time.. perhaps years down the road if needed and maybe revisit it if you are still a free agent. Her situation may have changed since your last effort and things may be different between you by then. Allow yourself to look elsewhere and remember that it's a big world full of more people than you could possibly hope to meet in your lifetime. I have to remind myself of this every day.. just wish I had seen the world that way when I was in my early 20's.
@MrMalicious5
@MrMalicious5 2 жыл бұрын
@@uoabigaillevey Saying “just don’t worry about rejection” is like telling a depressed person “just be happy”.
@UserName-ts3sp
@UserName-ts3sp Жыл бұрын
why would she like a guy who doesnt even like himself
@ericv5435
@ericv5435 Жыл бұрын
@@UserName-ts3sp exactly. That's why I'm not even bothering
@JohnnyinCLE
@JohnnyinCLE 11 ай бұрын
The first point is certainly good advice, and very good insight, regarding "butterflies". In my case, it's generally because I've thought over if I really want to get to know someone, and it's not only just dating, but wanting someone in my life, in general. As far as being "nervous", in your homework assignment? I've done that recently. Not towards dating, but just meeting a person that I had to figure out what to talk about (she was a very hard read for me ~ which is unusual, since I am partially paid to read people in general). My first time introducing myself to her was a bombed experience. I took a month, and reset, and re-introduced myself to her, as "core" as possible. And you know? I'm thankful for the "mulligan". She's pretty bright, and I've learned a lot from her, in the short time I'm getting to know her. Folks, it's not limited to just dating. It's good to get out of your comfort zone. 🙂
@logannguyen7842
@logannguyen7842 Жыл бұрын
Hey Courtney, just wanna say thank you for your down-to-earth, straightforward advices and pep talk. Subscribed and I'm glad to find out your channel. Cheers :)
@MohiSyed
@MohiSyed 3 жыл бұрын
Courtney fills you with confidence at the end of the weekend after all the failed dates.
@i_am_kofit
@i_am_kofit 3 жыл бұрын
Just got home from a failed date actually... This video is a simple solace for me 😔
@adamhenry1456
@adamhenry1456 3 жыл бұрын
for real 😑
@pablobarrera7613
@pablobarrera7613 2 жыл бұрын
There's something you're missing: Sometimes, it's not even about the girl herself. Some of us get nervous about the situation. It's the situation what puts us under pressure. I can be totally conscious of the reasons for being easy-going, accepting if she doesn't like me and I can act totally confident, but there's still a fireball in my stomach anyway, no matter what I do.
@trevor828nc
@trevor828nc 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing your personal life experience that really helps people relate to the topic.
@xo_ectophylla_alba_xo
@xo_ectophylla_alba_xo 2 жыл бұрын
You’re amazing, Courtney, thank you for the great work!!
@Javi_C
@Javi_C 3 жыл бұрын
Confidence! 👍
@CourtneyRyan
@CourtneyRyan 3 жыл бұрын
❤️
@JPVNG67
@JPVNG67 3 жыл бұрын
now i ll get even more nervous :)
@CourtneyRyan
@CourtneyRyan 3 жыл бұрын
Haha noooo!
@arthurmorgan2906
@arthurmorgan2906 3 жыл бұрын
@@CourtneyRyan you didn't see that coming haha did ya
@abchappell01
@abchappell01 3 жыл бұрын
Hi there Courtney, I really enjoyed your presentation. It actually reinvigorated me. Thank you so much :)
@themightyironoak
@themightyironoak 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for all your great videos, you have really helped me out, I have learned a lot from your channel.
@sumairshirazi
@sumairshirazi 3 жыл бұрын
In todays generation looking for women is pointless due to feminism , and simping
@stepkickking9868
@stepkickking9868 3 жыл бұрын
I bet your favourite movie is Joker...
@MeddlerGhost
@MeddlerGhost 3 жыл бұрын
@@stepkickking9868 The acting in that was great though.
@HorrorWorldx
@HorrorWorldx 3 жыл бұрын
Ok dude
@sumairshirazi
@sumairshirazi 3 жыл бұрын
@@stepkickking9868 not really.
@MeddlerGhost
@MeddlerGhost 3 жыл бұрын
@@HorrorWorldx Thanks for adding nothing!
@samsl3497
@samsl3497 3 жыл бұрын
We need go after girls that are similar to us.If you are Tech guy,go after the hottest tech girl.Don’t approach the IG model that will think you are a geek.
@rasheemthebestfirstone3274
@rasheemthebestfirstone3274 3 жыл бұрын
😂 it’s funny how you said that
@ricardogalindo8794
@ricardogalindo8794 3 жыл бұрын
It's 50/50 even there. Personal example, I approached a woman from my ig, we would contact each other on and off, I began to like her successes and accomplishments (an educator, graduated from the same grad school as me, intelligent, attractive, into fitness, and strong (army veteran)) I never was in the military, but I'm an educator too, pretty smart (graduate from the same school as her) I'm into fitness and progressing in my physicality and body, I'm also practicing in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Well...I asked her out, and got rejected. LoL! I laugh at it now, because it was bad timing and we never formally met in person. I say "formally," because my jiu-jitsu place is near her yoga place, coincidence (I began to practice jiu-jitsu 1 month after she rejected me-she knew of my decision to do so, and even "like" pictures I took of what became my future jiu-jitsu spot), and I ran into her...and she didn't recognized me at all. She just saw me as a regular stranger, no emotions or reaction. It showed me how fake and unrealistic Instagram and online social sites are too. In addition, looking at it now....she was an attention seeker. Some of her mix signals and attention seeking actions were to seek attention from me, she rejected multiple times to meet in person too. She took me off her ig too, once I stopped watching her ig stories and liking any of her pictures (which I rarely even did so). To get back to your point, even if you go for women that is like oneself, the rejection rate is still the same. The rejection odds doesn't change.
@edm9704
@edm9704 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for talking as if you are sincerely trying to be a helpful friend to us.
@robbyalbright702
@robbyalbright702 3 жыл бұрын
Love the first one💙 real important n so true, and good to remember
@drip369
@drip369 3 жыл бұрын
When you've been cutting your own hair for over 15 years, and have taken care of your own stuff for years as well as helping out others, it is really easy to be confident in your own self-worth as well as managing your own outward image with your ensembles, body and hair
@thomasgomez2100
@thomasgomez2100 2 жыл бұрын
I feel the same way about clipping my finger nails
@SteinerSE
@SteinerSE 3 жыл бұрын
"When you stop looking you will find it"
@CourtneyRyan
@CourtneyRyan 3 жыл бұрын
❤️
@nathanmorgan3647
@nathanmorgan3647 3 жыл бұрын
I stopped looking 10 years ago. Still haven't found it. :P
@cbrown6848
@cbrown6848 3 жыл бұрын
@@nathanmorgan3647 that's a fantasy. It's like saying stop putting resumes in and eventually your perfect career will come along
@cbrown6848
@cbrown6848 3 жыл бұрын
@@nathanmorgan3647 not to dishearten you but the idea of romance you want doesn't exist anymore. Feminism and simps and female privilege killed it
@nathanmorgan3647
@nathanmorgan3647 3 жыл бұрын
@@cbrown6848 oh, I know all that. I am mocking the idea
@acbundy7033
@acbundy7033 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks heaps, I love your videos. they really do help i've grown so much in believing in myself and being more confident because of your videos, I am a 22 year old guy from Australia and a few months ago i was so unconfident and this girl i have know for years we were talking and i basically was just being a simp i was only thinking about how i can make sure she likes me. i was thinking did i say this wrong, did i do this wrong, will she like me etc... now i am so much better so thank you again.
@lifestyletips5175
@lifestyletips5175 3 жыл бұрын
You're spittin' facts my sis! ,Now I'll put action in what you said!
@noticemesenpai5027
@noticemesenpai5027 3 жыл бұрын
Would love a reaction to Casey Zander
@CourtneyRyan
@CourtneyRyan 3 жыл бұрын
I can do that!
@johnnythekid4601
@johnnythekid4601 3 жыл бұрын
Nothing to be nervous about? Only the fact that she at any time can accuse a man of harassment for simply doing nothing... and causing him problems for no reason just because she didnt like the way he looked...
@drjohnsonhungwell5115
@drjohnsonhungwell5115 3 жыл бұрын
AMEN That's why I try to interact as little as possible with them I've had to endure some of their false allegations like stalking and had one accuse me of being some other child's father because I didn't want to date her daughter . I've had enough of their garbage.
@hiteshlakhiani6576
@hiteshlakhiani6576 3 жыл бұрын
The way you explain things is so satisfying 🙌🏻
@SanVic
@SanVic Жыл бұрын
After numerous misses in several videos, Courtney seems back on track, knocking it out of the park. It's so true that we don't act like ourselves and then not get liked by a girl who really doesn't know the real person we are.
@matrix3904
@matrix3904 3 жыл бұрын
Everyone, think about this, Honesty scares your date, ignorance is bliss to your date. Just think about that.
@SteinerSE
@SteinerSE 3 жыл бұрын
I never strive to impress, I always aim at making her laugh (or at least smile). I feel actively trying to impress means bragging, and that's not a nice (and somewhat arrogant) look. If I can make them feel comfortable and trusting around me and consistently can make them laugh and smile I think I am a good bit on my way to impress without trying.
@hanarielgodlike9283
@hanarielgodlike9283 3 жыл бұрын
I can confirm n2 works by personal experience. Yes going with the mindset of: "let me know this girl better and see if i like her" works wonders for me, not only take you off from that state of trying to impress her, but also help you talk about things that actually matters, making the conversation flows natural and engaging.
@gaelpache6776
@gaelpache6776 2 жыл бұрын
Zthank you Courtney t9 be so positive and encouraging people into interacting and meeting. Because iguess , somewhere a big part of our experience as human beings is to meet and connect to other beings. Cheers, luv etcera
@rolsonDotcom
@rolsonDotcom 3 жыл бұрын
Ignore all of this. Let women approach you. You’re the prize. Not her. Welcome to 2021.
@timothyrobinson2387
@timothyrobinson2387 3 жыл бұрын
Well said.👍
@jkshallinheritearth3883
@jkshallinheritearth3883 3 жыл бұрын
Women are the prize bcoz they can get relationship at any moment, would you?
@timothyrobinson2387
@timothyrobinson2387 3 жыл бұрын
@@jkshallinheritearth3883 That's what they like you to think. They're biological clocks ticking down day after day. Men on the other hand get better over time. That's the reality I see. I don't know about you.
@cbrown6848
@cbrown6848 3 жыл бұрын
Like when a girl says she wants a driven ambitious guy... again that's girl code for she wants him to have money
@bigshoots1181
@bigshoots1181 3 жыл бұрын
Ya, I'm an ambitious nose picker and definitely doesn't help the dating game lol.
@tomr5121
@tomr5121 Жыл бұрын
As a younger person I also felt anxious a lot of the time. Once I truly understood that this was an internal struggle and that, in general, people rarely care all that much, life became much simpler. 😁 Glad you are coping better Ms Ryan!
@nickgrayy
@nickgrayy 3 жыл бұрын
I never thought about all of this content you put out. I go to the gym a lot very consistently and know tons of people and a lot of people know me when I don’t know them. Even in front of the hottest girls in the gym I didn’t care that I would fail on a lift because it’s not about them. Most of my jobs have been in the public eye and sales so even talking to women that are wealthy doesn’t even bother me. Not saying my confidence is through the roof but more so I think my tolerance is very high. I work on myself everyday. I love to hear different perspectives so that I can evolve myself and improve.
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