No contact does work. The way I found it easier was to accept what had happened and let go. Start working on your self, Love your self and they will feel your energy is no longer calling them. That’s where they will start feeling it. But if you’re always thinking about them, they could feel it. That’s where working on your self will help and give your brain a rest. My ex from being apart for 4 months, reached out yesterday and wants to work things out. I wasn’t expecting this, I thought it was done between us. We spoke and we are going to take it slow and see if we could work things out. I am not thinking negative nor trying to imagine that everything is going to be ok. We are taking it day by day and see if it works out but if it doesn’t, then it was not for me. These videos do work with motivation for your self and help you not to contact them.

An ex finally realizes they love you when you leave them.

I just wanna say to any of you struggling to let go of someone…it will get better. It gets easier with time and you will most likely not even want the person back if you take time to yourself to work through your own issues. I felt like I was going to die. I went from 130lbs to 100 and gained it all back now, I am functioning normally again and I’m sickened that I ever felt so low over someone who didn’t value me. Please take time to think of yourself and you will get through it. I never thought I’d get here and I’m so proud of myself cause I know I will find someone better who will actually be good to me and not use me.

Its not the rebound that scares me, its the fear of her using multiple casual partners to numb her pain/feelings.

You don't know what you have until it's gone ❤❤❤

Margaret is so compassionate and genuine

Spot on! The two of you preach the truth. I followed your reasoning and teachings and my wife of 42 years who moved out of the marital home and filed for divorce eagerly came home after 10 months and dissolved the divorce. Our marriage is now better than ever. Thank you for such great advice. I encourage everyone who stops in to pay attention and follow Craig’s advice. Craig, you are a life and relationship savior!

Margarite is soooo cute and I love her! I’m sorry that she’s gone! But I know she’s watching over all our broken hearts and helping us through our journeys 🙏♥️ thank you Margarite ✨

I miss her every single day. I know I went wrong on my side of things, took her for granted, had communicational issues , and didn’t work on myself. she blocked me and it feels even more hopeless at times. But I know that if something is meant for you in your life it’ll return stronger. I’ve been working on myself a lot , non stop. i wonder how she’s doing all the time. I just wish I could peer into the future

This video came at the perfect time. It's week 4 and I've felt so horrible today after feeling like I made so much progress on myself. These videos really calm my anxiety. Thank you for all you do

It’s like the people in the comments aren’t even listening to the video or the purpose of it. You will NEVER get over someone constantly obsessing over someone that does not want you! Work on yourself and what YOU need to be happy. It’s not THAT person because that person is bringing you pain because of the breakup. The last thing that should be on your mind is how to get back with that person even if you want too. The mindset you need to be in is SELFISH and start thinking about things you didn’t like about the relationship it will help you move on and miss them less. But if your reminiscing constantly about how perfect they are and how you HAVE to have them in your lives you won’t ever be healthy on your own and constantly be miserable. Thats what self love is. Not caring about who is or isn’t in your life because if they wanted to in your life they would! It might sound bad but if you put yourself in the mindset that you were too good for them anyway and move on and try upgrading and your not going to care if they come back and when they do you’ll most likely not want them because you found happiness elsewhere and have now engraved in your brain that YOU can find better just like how they THOUGHT when they broke up with you. Know this or your going to be hopeless and desperate with every break up. You don’t want that because you’ll just attract people who will use you

If the avoidant leaves, I don’t care if they return. I’m done. They’re toxic. They recognize their response, but are too lazy, avoidant and complacent to do anything about it. Next. Keeping myself open to someone who is “fuck yes” about showing up. I don’t have time for childish, pull away, manipulative schemes.

Got my ex back. Was the dumper. Had 4 months of no contact. Sent out a text to him I hope you are happy. He said no. I said ok. Then he asked me why I asked him. I texted after all this time I still miss you He rang me and we visited each other the next day. We got back together after 7 months of being broken up. I worked on myself and identified where I went wrong in the relation. We are getting on well and taking things slow We are dating and taking one step at a time ❤

What makes an ex realize they love you? When you're gone. Perfectly said👌🏾

I want yall to know that your channel and videos have been so helpful. More help than I've received from any other source. My ex and I broke up April 30th 2022, and I was devastated. I mean absolutely broken. Before seeing your videos I tried getting them back but they pulled away more. AFTER seeing your videos I backed off, and stopped contacting them. He eventually came back to me and said all that time apart made his feelings grow stronger and asked me to take him back. I actually just broke up with him because I felt he was taking me for granted, but I want to say your videos have given me the strength to know my worth, and I know what I do and don't deserve. 2 months ago I was broken to lose him. Now I have the power and strength to walk away from a relationship that no longer serves my highest good. Thank you for that! All 3 of you- THANK YOU

My partner suffers from BPD, she left me when I tried to assert boundaries to her aggressive outbursts. This video really helped. Thank you

Margaret is so kind. I just love her vibe. Craig you’re also a complete gem. Thank you both

if they never loved you they never will

This was really helpful for me to hear. Especially towards the end about the mental health of our ex's. The things you talked about were exact word for word things my ex had told me.. Thank you Craig and Margret. I feel like I'm able to beat myself up at least a little bit less now compared to before. Overall it's just very tough to understand, that it's not always your fault when it comes to breakups with depressed ex's who have backgrounds of trauma.. At this point I think I'm done with her. But I do know that part of me still hopes to see her healthier again and not so selfish. I hope she can still heal just as much as I know that I eventually will.

My ldr bf just went silence for a week now as I didn’t see him online. I tried reaching out his mobile phone because we’re perfectly fine before he disappeared and texts him nicely all at once to check him and asking but still unresponsive. I still didn’t heard anything. I may now move on and entertain my suitors. It’s not that a big deal. It’s a blessing in disguise that he finally revealed his true intentions 😢

I'm devasted. 7 years of deep connection lost. This is the third time he breaks up with me, he is a huge avoidant. I did everything I could, I've been working so hard on my insecurities and it wasn't enough. He won't come back this time. I feel like such a failure. I love him deeply and I wish we could've worked things out. He wasn't ready to work on himself, he's just been spiraling down in a hole of destruction lately and I'm so worried about him. I was convinced that we would marry and have children one day, we really have something special together. He said it too. I'm so heartbroken.

A few months ago my ex came back with an indirect direct approach after I found your podcast/videos. We started to talk again and slowly came back together. We’ve been working on it and had even started saving up for a house together. Over the last week, though, I made the mistake to reach out to one of his high school friends (who is a female that he used to have a crush on that he still stays in contact with over different social media). I had anxiety over this because I have never met her or talked to her so I just wanted to clear things up for myself so that I wasn’t bringing any drama and they could maintain their friendship without me ruining it. She was very nice and we are understanding of each other and I made absolute sure that me reaching out to her would not change how she is towards him. After this, he pulled away. Everything was going fantastic, now he’s not talking to me. I did it for him and us. I don’t ever want to ruin any friendships and just want as many people to be around him that love him as possible. He is an avoidant and I’m close to being secure now than before, but still have anxious attachment issues that I’m working through and have continuously been working through (never stopped even when we got back together). Is there a way you can make a video on this? He seems to go through this every 3 months where everything will be great and then all of a sudden something small happens and he pulls away.

Okay so me and my ex broke up in March. I followed the no contact and yeah she reached out. We started to hang out, she started to message me more, started to call me occasionally, she started to question who I’d been with, if I’ve been on dates or slept with anyone. She told me she loved me, all to tell me she’s dating other people and just sees us as great friends. I decided to cut all ties as I took the wrong end of the stick. Yeah I could’ve followed the “I don’t care” route and stuck around as she might if soon realised that other guys are not me but all it was doing was hurting me.

Needed this today. Did coaching with you last year. He did come back but still wasn't ready to move forward after 4 years. Now its been 5 years and he still isn't ready. So I walked away last week. We've always been faithful to each other but he doesn't say he loves me because he's not showing it. Which is true. Hoping my absence will make him realize he does love me and it's the push to help him individuate from his family

This explanation of no contact is so much better than some of the others I have listened to. The others have really sounded like game playing to me. I am willing to give him the distance he has ask for. Even though it is painful. Maybe being a fearful avoidant may benifit me some. If I can just control the fearful.

This video REALLY hit home. My ex's mother is very impulsive and always had my ex in the middle of her plans. They decided she would move out to save her dog after it attacked my son. I think our breakup was purely from her guilt and her mom no longer liking me because I called my girlfriend out on her mom interfering in our relationship. Plus my ex has high level anxiety so there's that. Your other video about an ex missing someone also helped. Thank you both for your amazing insight because it brought me back to life.

Almost 10 months post-breakup, over 4 months NC and I miss him still. I made all the mistakes and worry that he'll never reach out despite my progress. I'm dating again and really taking my time to find someone special to build a life with. It's very reassuring that he actually did love me through our relationship and that NC is time to reflect. I do hope he realises my worth and what he's lost now I'm gone - I was his emotional support and I worry about him but his avoidance made him run away because I 'trapped' him. I deserved so much more.

Holy shit that part about her mother being her best friend though.........my exes mom called me a psycho because I shared a sad quote and began saying that I punished her daughter and I have nothing to offer her. I played that voicenote 100 times on my way to becoming an honors student.

First of all, thanks for these videos. It helps so much! Can you please make a video about dealing or getting back an Ex who came out being GAY. But the last part of the video definitely spoke to my situation. My ex girlfriend and I dated for 1 year and 7 months. Everything was PERFECT. Never fought or argued with each other. But we broke up cuz... 1. She thought she was "GAY/LESBIAN" of which she have felt like that since she was young but never tried it because she had conservative tight knit family. 2. She felt pressured after we discussed about our future plans (i.e getting married, buying a house, having kids, etc) 3. Mental health. She would constantly have anxiety attacks and depression due to stress from school, her thinking she is gay, but still really loves me, and guilt of not wanting to end our relationship because we had something good. I was needy and begged in the beginning and her response was, "I just need time and space to process everything. But i want to still have you in my life because you're very important to me." So then, I found out about the NO CONTACT RULE on KZfaq and that's where I'm currently at as i haven't contacted her for 1 week. I have a feeling that we will be together at the end cuz we literally had NO ISSUES when we were dating. We were PERFECT except for the issues we had that i had mentioned. I believe that once she recovers herself from mental health, anxiety and depression and she figure out her situation with sexuality, I am hopeful that we will be back together. But until then, I am doing ME.

Phenomenal video, when you spoke about it not necessarily being about you is huge to consider. And also taking into account their mental health and level of individuation from their family of origin is so crucial to remember and think about.

Margaret is my new fave.. .love her x These 2 are great

You two make a great team. Love these videos with both of you.

These two mellow me right out.

Ex came back after six months, pretended to be a wrong number.

You're a very cool man Craig, and come across like somebody who would be a great friend.

I was on the verge of having a conversation about the woman i was seeing and her avoidant attachment style Everything was fine, we spent the whole day together, but JUST BEFORE we had chance to sit down and talk / come up with an "emergency plan" so she didnt flip out and kneejerk me out of her life for a second time, she absolutely lost her cool, demanded I left and threatened to call the police to get me to leave (i was literally packing as fast as i could with her screaming in my ear) Ironic isnt it You get to the point of change, and she ended up sabotaging it, almost like she did it on purpose I still to this day have absolutely no idea what i did wrong and there was no other indication she was upset before this! She then fully blocked me everywhere and refused to talk about it I asked why she hates me so much just before she blocked me, she said "i dont hate you, i do care, but youre too good for me and you deserve someone better" Totally messed up. She was more than i could have ever asked for I suspect she was cheating..

I really like the part about reaching out and respecting the other persons response time. It isn't so much about creating attraction as it is of showing you RESPECT them. You might be able to recreate the attraction by allowing space, but if you struggle with that, thinking this one time show of your ability to do so means all is good, you're likely going revert once you have their attention. It has to be genuine, meaning you yourself has enough self awareness and self esteem to understand the difference. Truly ask yourself why you want to re-attract them? If it is selfish reasoning or to sooth your mind, thats fleeting and won't last.

Usually when they realize they can't have you anymore.

I kinda figured my ex is avoidant and i am secure. He left when things were going VERY WELL 🥰😍, and tried to gaslight me, blaming me because i supported him in the things he said he wanted. Its been 5 months since he left....i tried to show him care, compassion, and kindness....if he thinks he can do better....fine, go ahead and find better 🤣🤣🤣 . I guess im not the one bc i only agreed with him 85% of the time instead of the 100% he thinks is out there. Cant wait until i become the "phantom ex"

I left because he was not treating me well... It was the right thing for me to do. However, I cared about him a great deal... Today, I'm just wishing things could've been different 😪.

Some people have a strange way of showing there love, there's no one in the world could be that busy

My ex Just came the fourth Cooked his favorite meals it was a way to say I love you without saying it. He loved it hes calling me every day And says I love you I know hes my soulmate 2 years was the best of my life I love you I did no contact for 2 months I will keep fighting for this Love

Thank you Margaret and Craig x,fab content as always 🙏 love you guys !! 🌠💕

You guys are just an absolute tonic.

Thank you Craig and Margaret, I needed this.

I found out the girl I was with for the last 5 years is getting married in a few months to someone else. We had a rough patch a few years ago and then found out she has cancer. So I did what she asked and gave her space, but anytime she needed anything I was always there. A few days ago she told me she doesn’t love me anymore and she will always care about me because I’m always there for her and her kids… needless to say your videos have been a tremendous help to me. As much as I still love her and want to be with her, I have very little doubt that we will ever reconcile. I do believe that some point she will realize what she walked away from and try to reach out.

Guys stay in no Contact it is a win win .

How to re-establish a relationship with an avoidant who is very slowly “thawing out” without triggering their fears?

I Keep Praying and I believe in Miracles No contact worked for me I lost 25 lbs in 2 months Still in the gym

If you're apart and broken up that's it don't get hung up just accept the break up and accept the fact that relationshit with that person is over the past is just that the past time for better people and a better environment for you so you can be truly happy.

You're videos are a huge comfort to me.

Nothing is real until it’s gone!

Wow, this really-really blessed me. Thanks so much you guys!

My ex dumped me four years ago , and started up with a new one. I hoped it was a rebound that would end , but it never ended. They are currently living together. He and I work together, so I see him every day. On occasion we look toward each other, but that's about it. I'm fully aware that he doesn't care, but I'm still practicing no contact lol. I keep hoping that in some small way, he still thinks about me.

Because you feel a bond with them doesn't mean they feel a bond with you. I spent time upset about a girl when I was young. 6 months went by and I saw her at a store. She didn't recognize me or even knew who I was. That's when I realized I had wasted my time on her.

I deactivated my account after 2 months. I couldn’t take looking at my ex’s stories…there was too much feedback. Too painful.

I put him on blast. Felt good at first but then I felt terrible & sent an apology text. lol So I agree… accept & be gone. I’m in day 3 of NC. I’ve set a goal of 365 days. I feel better already. Sure I’m heartbroken & super sad, but there’s nothing more I can do. Once they break up with you it’s best to accept it right away, otherwise u feel worse in the long run… much much worse.

“The fact that I have 12 ducks living in the living room…is that getting on your nerves? You were ok w it 6 months ago.” 😂 RIP Margaret.😘

I love this. Thank you so much. ❤️

I'm more anxious and broke it off with my avoidant. I'm here watching your videos feeling broken. I felt like he wasn't putting in any effort. He even forgot my birthday. I'd love a grand gesture right about now. Two weeks NC.

My avoidant left when things were going well. We were getting closer. He needs some space, so I'm giving it to him. I miss him so much everyday. The space where he occupied in my heart is empty. I just feel empty in general. Now I'm left here hurt feeling like the past 6 months never happened. My support system is tired of hearing me cry about him, it's apparently time too move on. I'm sad and it's okay to feel my emotions. I will get the chance to see him again in a few weeks and I'm not sure what will happen. Maybe he'll pretend this never happened or maybe he'll act like he never met me. I'll do another email coaching soon! I need it.

Personal growth is Key...ty Craig and Margaret 💕

She left me yesterday I loved her with all my heart we been together for 1 year.😔

I love your ideas. Such wise words. God bless you those. Hope others will listen. Carolyn

My ex left 2.5 months ago. Her and I were in a relationship for 10 months and got along very well. My brother passed away in January and I have been grieving pretty bad over it and she thought I was being distant and that I was not in love with her anymore. She got in a relationship 3 weeks after leaving and I was devastated. She has reached out here and there checking on me and to add she is really happy now and the new guy is so nice. I can't believe she would tell me this. Last Monday she called and we spoke for about an hour and she wanted to come see me the next night because she said she misses joking around with me and laughing a lot. She never came and haven't heard from her since. She also said she wanted to meet my daughter next time she was in town which had me really confused. I do miss her a lot but will just continue to work on myself.

Hi Coach I’m listening to this again . And this is huge brilliant and helps me a whole lot 😊SO GOOD TO HEAR MARGARET’s voice again 😢… THANK YOU 🙏

Very honest to admit that u also struggled with this situation as well Craig

I love the two of you together

20:12 explained my ex. We had a fight and after he told me he needs time to think. He’s always dealt with depression. His parents screamed and fought a lot when he was little so he’s triggered. He hasn’t been doing anything but working. I’ve been in contact with him at least once a week but I think I’m going NC now because every time I talk to him I get upset. My anxiety is through the roof and I lost 15 pounds.😢

This was a great video. Thank you. Jana - Texas

I got discarded via a text. I pushed thru that stunning discard and when she broke her no contact I began talking to her and eventually suggested we meet up, she stonewalled me so I'm in no contact currently. My opinion is she is a fearful avoidant, so I got discarded while she was deactivated.

Great video Coaches - thank you

My ex came to me yesterday because she realized I was the only one actually tried to make plans for her birthday. She was a wreck because she felt so let down about her new guy and friends who did nothing for her birthday. We talked a lot and realized we both made mistakes but we both didn't say anything to eachother when we made those mistakes. We were silent about the things we didn't like and I feel thats why we started to fell apart. I'm trying to to hold on to hope for us to get back together but it felt really good to show her I was there for her in a rough time and having that talk and realization

Hi Craig, I feel I have a unique situation and I’d love for you to do a video on it. I told my ex (24f) that I have a child from a previous relationship that I’m not involved with, and the relationship between me and the mother had gotten very toxic and there were physical arguments on both sides, nothing severe. I was with my recent ex for 9 months and hadn’t shared my past but had decided I wanted to tell her as I saw a future with her and had given myself to the relationship. We already had 1 breakup previously where neither of us were putting in the effort, and we continued as fwb. After a few weeks I had a change of heart and I told her how I really felt about her, and we were great ever since until this. I told her when I was drunk and the next day she broke up with me. She said that she couldn’t get past it, and would have been able to deal with it if I’d said from the beginning, and the thought of the arguments would always be in the back of her mind which is think is unfair, that 1st relationship was almost 10 years ago.. I begged the following few days, then she blocked me. I left her alone for about a week and then messaged from my work phone, she was receptive but said her mind had not changed, we ended this conversation in an amicable way. I messaged the next day questioning some of what she had said and she got angry, told me to delete her number, that she did love me but didn’t miss me so maybe her feelings weren’t as strong as she thought. I left her alone after this. I had to message her regarding money for a holiday we had booked this month, I also took this opportunity to say I respect her decision if this is what she wants and wished her well. I haven’t heard since and I’m still blocked everywhere. The break up was may 8th and I’ve been in no contact for just over a month.. Do you have a take on this? I was thinking of getting a Skype session with you

Coach Keneth and Margaret. Thank you for amazing content and your help . Do you believe that zodiac signs matter in NC and chances of getting back together? Some are very stubborn….

My husband left me for someone else. He seems happy and here i am so devastated. 😢

Insecurity sometimes due to age and stage of life the person is in.

This is a horrible feeling the up and downs everyday like one day I'm going hard doing me the next im in depression and it's only been 2 weeks wen does this stop???

Great content and looking good matching today! 🙂

Is no one going to acknowledge that Margaret just referenced a Cinderella song? 🤘

We all have holes in the cheese 😆 God I miss Margaret 😢. Rip to such a beautiful soul 💜

Attraction is walk away .it works ..dont block them

Excellent video especially the part about their mothers this is absolutely true to which their mother is divorced it's a recipe for disaster cause her mother will perpetuate her bad behavior to their daughters

I love it, the co-ord 💙

why would people want to go back to something that didn't work out the first time around?

I wonder what it will do to my ex who broke up with me to be with someone else lining up, which he is in a relationship with.

When LIMERENCE expires, that is when they realize they love you.

Do we ever reach out? Or do we stay in no contact and eventually we never speak again?

They dont love you. They might be in love with the idea or curious and shocked when they see how much you changed but once they meet u again, even though you changed and got better in everything...they will still find a way to weasel out of your life. I say to hell with them, why waste time

I find it difficult to do no contact or even distance myself while working with them.

Hi coach loved your video ❤

I miss Margaret 😞 Anyway, I just broke up with my bf 24hrs ago... I'm not sure if I did the right thing but I just wanted him to acknowledge the fact that he said something awful and I wasn't being sensitive. I do admit I have a triggering moment bc of how verbally and physically abused I was by my mom. It's my way of reacting to being hurt... I know I have to take accountable of my reactions too, not just fully blame my mom. I wish I could control my emotions more.. I miss my boyfriend right now but I think it's best that I break it off with him.. It will only cause the next fight as long as I don't change my cycle..

My x and I broke up with over a photo that I was tagged in 15 years ago that I didn’t even remember was there he got angry so I asked him to take his things and go. He was reaching for something to breakup with me so he left. He thinks I dumped him because I asked him to leave. But the moment you look for something knowing the response your were going to get he stopped us for moving forward. And the kicker is now I see him every day at work. He has seen my upset as I try to process the breakup because I had a lot of so much. The next day he was laughing for coworkers, while I was upset. he continues to work there. When I know he doesn’t have to he can find another job. I feel like he’s there to keep tabs on me now he’s been giving me the impression he knows what he’s lost by giving me warm stairs and then the next day he will be cold as he’s still staring at me it’s really playing on my heartstrings I have looked back as he was staring. Sometimes I don’t stare. I just walk past him but honestly I really don’t know what to do. I love him so much.

Rip you helped me for months worth of time

No contact does work. My ex just reached out to me after 2 weeks and admitted to being in love with me , more than I ever imagined, or realized. She seemed really upset

He "reached out" but had nothing to say. Just starred at me and looked upset. He would not express his feelings.

No doubt in my mind that she loves me and I love her, but there’s a Trauma Bond with her ex husband who is a horrific narcissist. I never knew I could love like that, and I never knew I could hurt this bad.

I feel as when I respected his need for space made him go with someone else, and he did.

What about when your ex has an 8 year old daughter that I was so close with? Can they come back? I fear he won’t as he doesn’t want to confuse her by me coming in and out of her life ?

My ex left me and 3 weeks later she got pregnant and merry the guy and now they have 3 kids.