00:43 1. Don't make CPTSD your identity. It's an injury. You are not your trauma. Disidentify. (Daily practice.) 06:29 2. Don't give away your power to heal.You are the captain of your own healing, you hire help, but you're in charge. (Sheet 12 Things) 13:25 3. Don't keep talking about the past. You need to tell your story, but don't go on and on and on talking about it. Can be triggering. Instead write about it or mix of practices. (Daily practice) 20:31 4. Don't use isolation to control your triggers. You need other people to heal. Learn to control your triggers. 22:25 5. Don't try to make other people control your triggers. Learn to control them yourself, then you have the freedom to hang out with anyone.

Even though isolation and dissociating isn't the ideal way to go through life, it kept me sane and alive for all these years. I've been burned by so many people in my past, that I stopped relying on people to bring me happiness.

"When I'm dysregulated, I can't remember anything..." Ma'am, you've just summarised the last 16/17 years of my life.

Once cried so hard in the shower that when I got out I turned and saw my soul still there looking back at me. Years later went back and got her back.😁

The worst is when you turn your energy inwards when you’re dis-regulated, and people take offense to that. It’s like, I’m trying to protect them by going inwards rather than lashing out - but they don’t understand.

I feel like my whole life is one big never ending trigger.

FINALLY!!!!!! 30 years of being misdiagnosed with depression and anxiety. Overmedicated. Now I understand why talk therapy never helped. I've had CPTSD all this time! Thank you

1. Don't make your CPTSD your identity. You are a complex person. 2. Don't give away your power to heal. Don't be mad at the world for not understanding and healing you. Do what works, captain your own ship. 3. Don't keep endlessly talking about the past. 4. Stay connected to people, even if just in little bits. Don't isolate to control your triggers - learn to control your triggers even around people. 5. Don't try to make others control your triggers for you. When you control them, you have the freedom to hang around anyone you like. Don't outsource that responsibility.

"When you isolate yourself for too long, you get a little bit weird"... Oh man, it's already starting.

This changed for me after doing some EMDR. I wasn't just "a survivor" anymore--it stopped being my identity.

Going to therapy just reinforced the fact that something was wrong with me. I was there to talk about what was wrong not what was going right in my life. The focus was negative. Didn’t really resolve anything for me.

This was a fabulous video. Trauma victims are so hungry for truth and to be understood. Thank you for putting yourself out there.

Two therapists are riding bikes in the park. One of them falls, scrapes all the open skin on the pavement. His friend rides up, looks at his buddy cradling a massive gash on his shin. Leans in and says in a soft understanding voice: "I can see you are hurting. You want to talk about it?"

I have been looking to psychology for my mental health for decades. This is the first time I've heard someone actually say that talking about it ad nauseam isn't healthy. She's spot-on. when I couldn't afford a therapist I always wrote my about my tribulations & never re-read them. None of my therapists have really done more good than all the self help, reading and writing I've done. It's like the Hawaiian healer I see now who has an ability to physically pull out negative energy from my body. I'm lighter and could care less about my past trauma. Talking & rumination stores negative energy! Releasing it is the best solution. Bravo Anna! Only someone who's lived it gets it.

Mb it's offtopic, but yesterday I managed to refuse buying some expensive item, and didn't feel guilty to upset the shop assistant! Yay!))) Congratulate me, ppl!)

Omg that reframe about being the captain of your own healing is gold!

This is excellent. I am an Air Force brat who grew up being torn away from my home from age 6 weeks to age 18-19. I'm now 74. Finally, someone can speak sense to the real dysregulation from trauma. This has been left out reasons why chronic health problems like Fibromyalgia develop. I wish highschool knew how to teach these topics so when it happens to you, you have a foundation to understand. Wonderful talk. It speaks to my whole life. Thank you

Thank you for referring to “tickling” as torture. My dad molested my older sister, who was much prettier than I, but with me, he used to hold me between his legs and tickle me until I was sobbing and close to passing out. Only then would he stop. I always felt like a lunatic for getting so upset about it, but I think it’s actually a form of abuse. He was also a raging alcoholic, so I’m deeply relating to all of your videos.

Omg! "Don't talk about it" . Everytime I talked about it I felt sick, depressed, off centered and upset. I realized I need to stop, I felt too vulnerable and open to being hurt. Thank you for clarifying that 🙏🙏🙏

I did something that really helped me with narc mom. I wrote myself a letter to me from her apologizing for all she did in my childhood. It really expedited healing

Thank you so much for bringing up the tickling aspect because I was tickled as part of my sexual abuse as a little child and now as an adult it brings up so many negative reactions that I cannot help but kick and punch to get that person away from me. I actually had someone I used to date who was resentful because he wanted to tickle me and would get mad at me because it was a trigger of mine and thankfully I am healing enough to not allow people who have that type of perspective into my life anymore. I have now taken back that power and I’m so grateful for your videos

Wow this video made me realize how much my life is being affected and controlled by my CPTSD... I'm just kind of sitting here in awe of how much my life was described back to me in this video

Anna, I signed up for the free course. I've done the practice for 3 days...and not even as you prescribe...I keep forgetting to do it later in the day...but I hope to work up to it...the last 3 days I've done it in the morning, first morning I did writing and 20 min meditation, second and 3rd day writing, but only 10 min meditation...and already I feel better. I like dumping out the fear and resentments and humbly asking God for HIs will...and knowing I can do it anytime...and even though I only intentionally sat down to put it on paper once a day, what happened, was throughout the day when something would pop in my head I would realize "oh, I dumped that this morning"...wow...it was so much easier to get on with the day after that. I'm excited. I will get better at it but I'm really happy with the start I've made. ~Dawne

My family thinks I'm crazy that I know I have cptsd/ptsd it hurts so much. I tried to reach out to my siblings in hopes to talk about growing up. My dad was an alcoholic My mom continues to enable. All my siblings and myself are unable to find healthy relationships/love. It was a dead end and only reminded me that my family doesn't care about my feelings. Your videos are beyond helpful to me. I'm back to reality again. I'm 47 years old. I'm starting to realize I don't have parents or family anymore. I'm alone.

"When I'm dysregulated I can't even form memories" wow this explains so much about all the holes in my memory especially around high school and the therapy I supposedly went to but don't remember

I isolate but practice using my new filters and boundaries on folk that I now meet. I have learnt so much. I asked a close friend to refrain from gossip and overly deep talks as we have therapists for that and I realized I was constantly being triggered by a lot of our conversation content. I just am prioritizing time to actually enjoy how far I've come and don't want to be constantly discussing our 'war stories' time to break that bad habit🌼

Thank you so much for this. I am not my trauma. Yes healing is possible. I believe this. I’m improving. 💞🌞🌷😘😊☀️

Forensic Therapists/Addiction Specialists understand emotional regulation, I forward your videos to clients all the time

I adore you Anna💕💕💯💯In a world where I don’t trust anyone, I trust you 100%. You are the only one who makes sense for me. Counseling doesn’t help, I have to agree. Thank you for caring about us out here💕

I must say too, that CPTSD can occur any time later in life. Not only in childhood. Accidents, terrorist attacks, horrible hardships and heartbreaks, etc... Triggers can also be due to being part of the highly senitive personality types. These people are just much more sensitive than the normal range of people. And are often misunderstood. Alas.

Anna my mother is an alcoholic too and my childhood was destroyed because she chose a partner who was a psychopath. He made our lives hell. I have made tremendous progress and a part of that is due to writing my story. I just want to thank you for sharing your story. I found also that is OK to have days and cry. Tears are apart of the healing.

A 26 minute video from CCF? My Sunday just got better 😁

I really like how you highlighted your sovereignty, our sovereignty in healing. What a different perspective ❤

I find most of your descriptions of PTSD very clear and thoughtful. However as someone who was raised in an emotionally abusive home, I feel that the deep emotional pain is a part of me and the most useful ways to deal with it, is to know that it is part of my identity now. As much as someone who has had trauma losing their sight or a limb is their reality. You learn to accept but you need to work with it while you live your present life.

Right there on how important it is to own your healing process. Realize that not every practioner will "get it", just learn to figure out what they can offer and take responsibility for the overall results. Once I decided that I would make my mental health a non negotiable thing that I insisted on having in my life, I begin to get really creative about noticing ways I could help myself to deal with triggers and keep myself "reasonably functional" when triggered. The biggest tool has been learning to accept and be curious about my negative emotions, rather than automatically believing the narrative they suggest are true about a situation or acting on them immediately.

Thank you for this. My trauma was at birth (adoption trauma). I had all the symptoms of CPTSD but had no idea why until I started talking about my life. Adoptee, because of the societal view of adoption being beautiful, rarely know why they struggle. Adoptees are 4 times likely to attempt suicide and are significantly over represented in behavioral health services because we are often silenced about the impact of adoption. It's the constant denial of experience that leads to CPTSD. So we MUST keep talking about it. First, to identify and understand it and then to raise awareness so future generations don't have the same experience. We are still told, to this day, by society as a whole that we are lying and ungrateful. It's hard to overcome in community when it denies it, so we have to isolate from everyone except other adoptees and those communities are rare. We go behavioral health treatment that also denies our trauma. So the population over represented in behavioral health services is denied by those services.

I am 72, quite frankly l have lived with the destructive voices in my brain all my life. I have lived like this for so long l have given up on any recovery. Good luck to anyone young Enough to recover.

I so appreciate you doing these videos. I started watching 2 of your videos upon suggesting by youtube, and the one on possibly having trauma from siblings caught my attention. I am the youngest of 5 girls, the sisters are all 9-18 years older than myself. Now I feel you have helped me identify my experiences instead of just believing Im weird because I cant handle certain things. So I am going back to the first video i could find from you and trying to heal from here. Only took me this long… (62+ years)

What a loving endeavor for you to share your story and teach others to change the course of their lives. You are pointing the way, like a lighthouse to lost ships. AND you are so easy-going. Thank you!

Just love your frank, genuine and sensitive approach. So glad I found you. My healing starts today. 🌈💕

Tickling is a deal-breaker for me too. And also coming up behind me and scaring me is we're not friends after that. It feels horrible to be scared by loud noises. My body feels attacked and it lasts quite a while afterward and I'm in a terrible mood after that. Who thinks this is funny.?

This is so true. I saw a somatic/spiritual advisor yesterday who helps me with CPTSD and really whole body trauma effects, and the clear mind was the best part. She reminded me how my own actions were impeding me getting what I need, and it felt so clear and wonderful. Granted, this is after years of somatic healing and learning, but it is so worth it. Like the teacher here says, you will find what works, so stay on the path.

I’m 34, it’s been 18 months and it’s the biggest trauma of my life so far. It has knocked me for six. I’m still healing, I’ve accepted it’s going to be a longer process than I thought it would be but I’m over the nasty hump. I’m finally stable enough, I’m not in survival mode anymore, mentally and situationally. Which is good but I’m in the next phase of grief. It’s the kick up the arse I’ve needed. I’m one of those people that is pain motivated. I achieve better and feel a greater sense of purpose from pain or trauma. I have no purpose in easy, stable and comfort - likely due to my upbringing. I can only thank my trauma for reminding me of my purpose and ability. And I also thank my trauma for reminding me that you can’t be in full control of every aspect of your life and it’s ok, it will be ok. It will be amazing!

I realize that it helps me to write about the positive things surrounding whatever traumatic flashback i’m having. Also journaling was worth it at the beginning now im starting to feel like it keeps me just as stuck as talking about it. Because it gives whatever emotional flashback validation that its okay to exist within my body and brain. Im so tired of that. Wanted to share❤

I am really having a hard time with my identity as a "victim" in the eyes of others. Since my scars are quite visible, I am actually regularly asked, "what happened?", by absolute strangers. I've created a 15-second response that no longer triggers me. I only answer because these nosy strangers can really go into a tailspin of blah blah blah or even get angry and frighten me if I do not answer. Why do strangers demand an answer to such an obviously triggering question? Currently I figure they are mean or poorly raised. I don't even tell them the truth because I don't want to comfort a stranger crying about what happened to me. I simply recite a vanilla story that might result in scars like mine.

My biggest mistake was trying to challenge my triggers when I was dis regulated or problem solve my triggers. It was like a endless cycle. Now when I feel them come up I just comfort myself and focus on my nervous system it seems to be helping

Absolutely outstanding, yet again. Thank you so much for these analyses and guidance. I've had a few genuine epiphanies watching your videos recently that make so much sense of my partner. Maintaining attention for more than a minute or so on any given task, talking (often in circles) endlessly about the past, worrying about the future, rarely being in the moment, isolating to protect others from trigger reactions, and delegating responsibility for those triggers to those around and closest... it's all there. I can see great improvements in my partner over the past year or so - she's trying so hard - we have an outstanding therapist (he specialises in childhood trauma) and I feel like I now have your wisdom in my ear each night also. Thank you again, so much.

Thank you. None of my therapists understand what I'm going through. Your videos, especially this one, save my sanity. I've recently expressed my disappointment with my current therapist. He just doesn't understand why I can be forgetful (forget to pay his invoice; forget appointments); just does NOT understand dysregulation. Here, Fairy says that we must teach our therpists. Thanks for the information and guidance. So good to know that there is a reason why the "experts" do NOT understand us! Thanks. I am beginning to realize that I really need to try your course. Best wishes.

i love your show. it is deep and a common problem and yet not well known remind me of alice e miller the drama of the gifted child and the untouched key I dont know if you liked those books at all, but i sure do enjoy your show and I have been threw so many similar things , amazing that we can be 50 or even 60 and STILL have unhealed wounds !!

Thank you for validating me and my journey. I feel that disregulation runs my life and I need to try something new.

Writing really is relief. Sometimes you can't wait on ppl or an appointment. I need to get it out now

ANNA! FREEDOM FROM TICKLE TORTURE!!! i was "tickle tortured" too....i learned too late (but share w/you & ANYONE ELSE who has been tortured in this way) YOU CANNOT TICKLE YOURSELF! STOP the sensation IMMEDIATELY by putting your OWN HAND wherever you are being tickled....it STOPS the tickle IMMEDIATELY! love you & thank you for helping ME so much....NEVER be afraid of being TICKLED again!

This sounds almost exactly how I talk to people in my therapy practice. I have been a therapist for 35 years and have been teaching people this especially the part when I tell people, "You are not your trauma. You are a complete and perfect and whole person who experienced trauma. You can heal and grow and learn to put it behind you. You are not a victim, you are a survivor!" And the writing, ALWAYS recommend people keep their Handy, dandy notebook with you all the time. I'm glad to see other people teach these techniques, too! Light the candle!!

Echos of the 12 steps of AA ring throughout your description of the Daily Practice. Write it down, say it out loud, meditate/sit quietly/pray/be still. Simple and wildly complex all at once. Thank you for sharing your experience 😊

Yes, learning to stop talking about it and dealing with the symptoms. Also becareful who you open up to. Not all friends can handle that.

THANK YOU for all your time and effort spent in explaining to us a lifetime of learning! It means SO MUCH! 💕 At 13:25 when you describe mistake #3, you're explaining to me the mystery of why I feel a sense of panicked dread after opening up about my traumas, even to a trusted friend. As if I'd just forever "slimed" them (and myself) in the process. So I isolate for fear of saying too much. Knowing I can actually "write out" my recovery gives me so much hope.🙏🎉

I love this lady. Look how she helping so many people, by pointing the way and helping us to understand our feelings , thoughts and behaviour . I bet when she was a small child, she wouldn’t have believed that she would become a saviour .

Isolation is what I’ve for 15 years, I’m trying to really connect with my soul. The past three years I’ve found a community of an Jungian community. These people have taught me more and helped me in ways I never could imagine.

Finding the right therapist is a blessing. Mine helps tremendously.

Don't let it define u. I am on the road to healing..

Every time I see you be vulnerable for my sake, I want to cry. Thank you. You make me feel understood.

Speaking to boundaries and maintaining my power, I know this sounds a little off, but what I’ve come to do is when I start to feel triggered by someone, I immediately tell myself is “people are just things.” I kind of objectify them. What I mean by this is that just like a an object takes its shape by being fixed that way or molded that way, I just bring people down to that simple level in my mind and realize they are not some gods who control the climate and all humanity. Often the person triggering me becomes larger than life or a sneaky thief I can’t catch or out win. I remind myself to get right back to my own journey inward towards peace and tranquility. But it’s important not to just stop there, at that moment I DO something to Affirm my healing, so as to heal that moment (the writing is an excellent example) and then I act upon a self empowering thought that is the opposite of what I just experienced.

Your comment about tickling really hit home. My brothers used tickling as a form of torture, and the adults in my life would just laugh when they tickled me until I was crying or had wet my pants. It took over 40 years till I learned I had a right to tell someone to stop doing something to me that I found hurtful. I'm 69 years old and still can hardly stand to have someone touch me, unless I've known them for a long time and feel I can trust them. Parents, teachers, etc. step in and put a stop to such activities and teach all children that they have a right to say NO when someone is bothering or hurting them.

one thing helps me is to take the people out of it. Lose the emotions involved and know its my story and journey and who did what doesn't matter. What matters is me healing so I no longer hurt myself or others and I can function daily. I struggle with finding a place to get clarity, I try writing and meditation and exercise as best I can but sometimes find even doing what I know I my head is good for me, doesn't feel good. I was raised to not have any self worth but part of me fought it and until I got chronically ill was managing to be happy with some bad days. Getting sick just brought it all out and just added to how useless I am. Now I have to learn to flow with a body that is not well and may not ever get better and how to still deal with my issues and find how to do life again. Would be in such worse shape if not for this wonderful woman sharing her journey. I am so grateful for the Fairy 🧚‍♀️ ❣❣❣

Getting fully re regulated is so hard. My nervous system can be inflamed all day after a certain type of trigger. It feels horrible 😞

.. you are literally a blessing. I’ve been listening to you for a few years ... no one gets it like you do. God Bless 🙏✨

this is changing my life right now hellooo new me. i dont have money for therapy again, and the last time i had it it was exactly as you describe it, just talking and dysregulating with no conclusion or end. and ive despaired to get better for so long, never really clicked how to work together with myself instead of against myself. im favoring this video to come back to when it's difficult. ive never been this certain that i can do it as i am now.

You will be the greatest pioneer of ptsd cptsd in modern history.

This is amazing. I am going to have to listen to this one a few times to take it in and digest it. You are the Aunt I always wanted x

I understand journaling but it only works for me in extreme emo cases; I much prefer to write songs - music and lyrics - and record them. Then I can listen to my own rage and share it with others.

Social and Physical Isolation. At 20:35, Fairy says, "don't use isolation to control your triggers." Unfortunately, I have isolated myself from even female friendships for decades. Especially painful during various COVID lockdowns. I'm single (no boyfriend, partner, husband), no kids, no parents, siblings are damaged. I had what i thought were 2 " best friends" but found out, during 2 years of Pandemic (no sports teams, no group activities; always alone at home; not invited to anyone's home) that they were either cold or too damaged themselves. So, since 6 months, I've isolated myself from these "best friends" to protect myself. Since I was a child, my heart has been broken by my female "best friends". I guess I really need to take your course. In most videos, you talk about sexual relationships. I've been single for decades. If I can't even have a decent friendship, why try a sexual relationship? I do wish more of your videos dealt with "friendships" (for example; two straight women). Thanks

I used to smoke a lot also and now I know why I did so much it was helping my dysregulation that was going on.

I am sooo grateful to have found your channel this morning. I have known I have CPTSD ever since I first learned what it was & have been healing but basically all alone (which I’m glad to see that’s the most effective approach with this rn) and I just feel like I finally am understood and the words “you can heal from this” mean so much I have tears in my eyes. Thank you

I never did therapy because I always felt exhausted and raw. DBT was an improvement. But this video made so much sense!

This makes sense. I went to 3 therapsists, two of them was just listening me complaining, but one was giving tasks for me to write letters to my pearents, and only then I realized how bad I feel in relationship with them. Before that I didn't even know that, I thought that I'm just fckt up. Everything was a mess and I didn't even know where to start. Writing helped me more then talking.

Everyday, all day, I'm monitoring my thoughts, my feelings and attitudes knowing that I have the power to choose the sweet or the bitter. I have the power to choose to be grateful, not hateful...

You are KZfaq GOLD Anna, my therapist doesn't get it at all. You've helped me like you could never comprehend. Thank you. Its like coming home 🙏 (a nice home 😆)

So much is becoming accessible! ❤️. I appreciate these reminders today.

When I was 21 my friend's dad gave me a phone number to call to help me. It was a number for a doctor that told me I had CPTSD. I am 40 now, so that was a long time ago, he was ahead of his time. I didn't realize how lucky I was because I was a severe case and not triggered into dysregulation ... It was 24-7. I don't remember anything we did and I moved so I never got to finish that treatment until now! Thank you for your videos! ❤️

I accepted a diagnosis of myself in my 20’s ( I’m now 61 ), and it was Borderline Personality Disorder with Histrionics. Through a loved one, I learnt about Cptsd. My then psychiatrist came to know my history. I did not hear words like Abuse nor words I would use now and many would as a normal response. Not the psychiatrist. Over years, I have had 1 positive interaction with a psychiatrist. And I remain dubious about most male psychiatrists. Videos like these are gifted. ✨✨✨✨✨

I just found your channel. Wow! I appreciate knowing I am not alone and there is a way to heal.

I have tried so many times to journal. I can’t make myself write my thoughts down because I’m afraid someone will find them. So that fear makes me fake my journaling somewhat. It frustrates me and I stop after a couple of days of journaling and I destroy the paper

Finding channels like this restores my faith in humanity

I have learned so much from your videos. I have a rare chronic illness called POTS. My automatic system is damaged. My body goes into fight or flight mode on a regular basis. It is very uncomfortable and stressful on my body. Healing from my past and growing as a person is helping me to learn how to stay calmer during an episode. I wish I knew the statistics of people who grew up in abuse and the diagnosis of POTS.

It's so good to hear, I always identified myself with aaaalll my difficulities and about a year ago, as I read more and more I started to see myself detached from this concept and rather having problems and not being the problem.

I am a sovereign of my own healing. Well said 💖

These last few short videos about not giving power away to "experts" & "authorities" especially "therapists" is VERY useful for me & the neighbor I was working with using a not very effective strategy (his therapist, his dance groups, his friends, his "rules," his "standards") all the while trying to sort of con me or manipulate me into being more like HIM while saying, "that's how we do it in Israel." I guess you can assume now we both have CPTSD. We have both had IMHO too much talk therapy. He's a "sabra," a native born Israeli, I lived most of my life in the USA. Other than cultural differences, there is not much difference between us (under the behaviors, ego defenses, drama). There is a language barrier but mostly b/c I do not like a lot of talk, he relies on talk b/c his eyes are bad, I rely on text b/c my hearing is bad. Still, by some miracle we found one another from halfway across the globe and managed to live in the same smallish city for over 2 years together, albeit not seeing each other for most of 2022. Israeli doctors see a lot of PTSD patients. The standard approach is a pill & talky talk therapy. So, go to the government health clinic, tell them you're depressed, they write it down as a diagnosis and prescribe meds and talk. "That's how we do it here." No, that's not how I do it ANYwhere. The difficulty has been to provide short, simple strategies that DO work. To everybody. Medical cannabis by Rx for instance works better than pharma for me. Okay that's one thing. Dance even alone and playing catch with dogs works better for me than a group of strangers with loud music who go around hugging and talky talking after the dance. Walking alone on the beach is better than having to keep up with someone that walks too fast...etc. But what to do about the needed change in behavior/awareness that is still keeping me from forming meaningful deeper relationships of any sort? Well, I've had some meaningful relationships, but not in Israel, not lately. I'm old. Is that any excuse? It's an excuse enough for most people. Do I want to be like them? Or do I want to be a role model, to make "something" not of my little self but to contribute something to humanity? Raise the collective vibration a notch if possible as I climb my own ladder of awareness? The daily exercise works. I write anyway, I do not like talky talk that dwells on past/future, grudges, sulking & these behaviors of judge/blame/silently punish alternating with constant shoot-the-messenger criticisms. That was my parents. Returning to Israel brought back a LOT of unpleasant memories for me, but I can see from watching the last several videos how my resentment at "trusted experts" (along with many others who trusted medical experts to their detriment) keeps me stuck in ego/fear/anger that does ooze out as what Tolle calls (grrrrr), the growly wolf energy that is "extra" baggage. It's not about anybody in particular, it's about feeling unacceptable, unaccepted, constantly misunderstood, shamed, blamed, not fitting in anywhere. I "fit" with myself. I am part of a greater Self. That has been the opening for me, a sort of spiritual sense of "In Lakesh," we're all f*d up. We're all traumatized. We're all hurting & scared. We don't need to judge & blame OURSELVES on top of what was. We need to stop re-creating familiar abuse patterns that keep us stuck in the NOW. I am wondering if you & Eckhart Tolle or you & Oprah Winfrey ever get together? He has similar ideas but fewer techniques other than what I would call grounding or centering one's attention on the present moment. He tells people to focus on the hands, on the breath, on the aliveness of the body. That's a nice but somewhat remote inaccessible state for a person with childhood PTSD. I feel that, my friend does not. He goes into a frozen mode where he becomes a kind of human iceberg for weeks...months...while I do my own retreat into silent contemplation, leading to little connection between us but perhaps some healing going on anyway. Pain & loneliness are good motivation. I did start doing the daily exercises, not in any rigid sort of way. I don't do phone calls. I do continue to watch your videos & you're certainly free to quote me if it would be helpful to others. That's why I write/post here. Aviva in Akko, Israel @avivalevy3

I am not my trauma, I've been 😮 healing ✨️ 😊 still is

I am living everything you just said . I am so stuck . I am going to do my best the advice you gave starting with the jurnal it makes so much sense since I have nobody to talk to . I literally vibrate with anxiety. Thank you 🙏

My problem is the looping bad memories in my head

I was diagnosed with EUPD and the medical doctors told me that there was no cure or treatment. Well, I’m 37 and I’ve never been more happy and functional in my entire life. I do wish psychiatrists used words carefully. They should have said at this moment we don’t know what works and that age actually does temper the emotions.

You are absolutely right about therapy. It is not for everybody…It did not work for me! You are the person who I need to thank for such amazing piece of information that will change the life of some many people as well as mine! Thank you!

Writing about my issues is very helpful for me. Interesting this is also helpful to you. I've been to numerous concelors, a total waste of time and money. I read and re-read my thoughts often. For me, talking about the 'issues' only leaves me frustrated, sad and depressed. I get caught up in my daughter's issues when she needs to share because I feel like I'm supporting her but it leaves me upset.

Daily practice has helped me soooo much! For me a non-negotiable is balls played with in the house by children during and after meal times when adults are trying to talk. Balls whizzing past my head will send me into a dysregulated state licketty-split! Love you and all you do for us!

My only triggers come from very close intimate relationships. When one is with the same people day in day out, and have close ties, triggers are terrible. And both sides usually are triggered. Unless one of them is wiser. When I feel triggered, I never lash out nor go into that space immediately. I wait, breathe and write it down, if needed. But, the person who brought that trigger out, often on puroose, just goes on to get me burst to my extent. And yes, these are people who do have kind and loving gestures towards me. But are deregulated themselves, more than I am. And, that's so ever tiring and frustrating to be with such people. Family, friends, collegues, partner... Any close people. It's as if my triggers are food to them, to see how far they can push me off the rocker !! And so, I isolate myself more and more... People in general nowadays just dwell in triggering others. I see it and hear it everywhere. And especially on social media. It's awful. An ill world we live in. ☹ Keeping sane here has become highest priority, where as that should normally not be so.

You have been a life saver to me. Im having a time navigating my relationship with my biological father whom caused this trauma, he’s a narcissistic, functioning alcoholic who was emotionally and sometimes physically abusive to my Mom, emotionally abusive to my brother and I. He only deals with us when he wants to boost his own ego, example- i only see him for my Birthday and Christmas..he calls and asks if I’m going to be at work and then he does a drive-by gift drop off. I’ve asked repeatedly for the last 25 years to spend some time alone with him (without his wife) and he will not. I’ve come a long way in my recovery from cpstd and addiction after 25 years but these “gift drop offs”, two times a year trigger me every time. I want to tell him to just put the check in the mail, I feel it’s a cheap way to have a relationship with me just to make himself feel better.

The most difficult is dysfunctional family even as we age the family is younger than what was originally there. I've learned to deal with people the best way I can. Writing has been my hero for my whole life. Now I write for a little bit of pleasure. Thank you for you giving us more insight.

I have some skepticism about therapy ideas on KZfaq, but I've been listening to yours. Your ideas are not flakey or abstract; they are common sense offered with compassion.

13:26 is sooo understated, I know some people in my life that really need to understand this. Thank-you.

Watching this almost made me cry. That's a big deal for me because I almost never feel any emotion except anger towards myself and towards others. Anger and....nothing. No emotion. So thank you for that.