The CC Fairy’s ability to grasp such complex issues as childhood trauma and really GET what’s going on is astounding. You have verbalized so much of what my brain has been adding up without connecting the dots. I really appreciate all that your doing! 🧚‍♂️✨

I felt this so much. A colleague even pointed out that I was meant for more..seems like others can see the light peeking through our cracks. 😳

This message is like it was written for me directly. I’m 51. Been working on myself since I was 28. I made so much progress. Dealt with much trauma. Became a coach. Changed the narrative. Yet, I’ve never committed to a job, a career, a healthy relationship, a home/place. I thought I was being free and flexible and adventurous. Yet really what I just realise after the COVID trauma and returning back to my place of birth…. Half a world away. It’s like my whole world came crashing down and all the original wounds opened up. I’m waking up to the reality that I’ve kept all the main things that are healthy in life at arms length and this humongous capacity I have has been under expressed. It’s like this last couple of years and all the crap had brought me to my knees for a reason. To show me this. Your videos are liquid gold. Thank you so much.

Anyone have family with very negative world view and all day long they send you articles about all the awful things happening in the world?

That's such a great message for someone in our condition. I hate to use pop culture cliches, I've been in the process of 'stepping into my power' for the past several years, and as painful as that's been, it was the only alternative to being pathetic. And I'm not pathetic, I'm just jumpy and scared of other people. But with enough of a push, I've been able to override this kind of programming. I'm a strong and likable person, there's no reason for me to feel this way about myself. And I'm actually not that bad at interacting with other people, I've just been afraid of being mistreated.

Hi Anna, how wonderful to receive this talk posted just 1 hour ago. I'm 63 now and still trying to figure it out. I had to move a long way from my family to feel free to pursue higher education at the ripe age of 27. Unfortunately, I've suffered so much shame from the distance that made it so difficult to connect with family when they could have used my help. It was like there was this anxiety that if I went back to stay with family, I'd somehow get trapped and never escape again! I so much admire your passion, understanding and fearlessness about speaking out on the topic. So I'm here to sincerely say, "Thank you!"

I live in my van, in NZ rents and board cost over my income. The odds are stacked against me but i do have that light within me and for now consolidating my clean fitter stronger self with income to SAVE...because I live as I do, with increased comfort..(portable fire, awning, good food)...100% less stress and pain than 6 months ago, having mended inportant relationships, given up all vices...something good is going to come but im not throwing myself into society as it'd have me. I'm weaving for a stall and applying for work which will allow me to retain my strengths and power. Lol, I dpnt mind not being wanted just yet...I'm learning who I am and consolidating. Think I'm still in training for next move. You are my hero Anna!❤

I have no knowledge of goodness - there is nothing inside. I am 65 and just beginning to open some of the old things that I kept buried for most of my life. I am completely overwhelmed, have trouble thinking or taking any action at all. I have never had any family support and I've let friendships die for want of attention. I'm just too tired.

Everything I’ve ever done that I regret I did out of loneliness. Boy, that’s an eye-opener.

The light is SO very faint. I self-isolate as much as possible.

Wow, this was an amazing breakdown. My childhood trauma was more based around neglect. I have have the degree and all of but I found myself in a career path I didn't actually want. When I peeled back the layers I realized I allowed my family members to control me and 'guide' me but it was all control. When the jobs would end I was ridiculed and judged even though I did excellent work and the environments were incredibly toxic. The sense of 'I'm better than this' fell over me and I blocked out any and every negative person (only family members fell into this category) and reconnected with myself. I am still on the journey but I FEEL so much better than even a year ago. The fact that other kids are going through this right now and don't know makes me sad, it's taken real self work + spiritual work to dig myself out of that rut. I will never again allow myself to be manipulated in such a away again. Thank you for this video Anna.

All five of the ways people with dysfunctional childhoods have been disempowered apply to me. Just like so many here, my family has imprinted on me the message that I am “not enough”. Their methods were through put-downs, insults, and constant comparisons with other people who are supposedly doing better than I am and asking why I am not at their level. It definitely has not been easy, but I’m doing my best to unlearn that. I am also learning to understand where they came from (from what I can tell, my parents themselves came from dysfunctional families) so that I do not stay in the feeling of resentment from the fact that my family basically set me up for failure. At least I know that mental space is not going to help me grow into the person I am realizing I can be.

52 years old and still on my healing journey...

You are helping me more than the six years of therapy I’ve taken. I am saving to take the course. I can’t wait.

I attended 4 different colleges and universities. Only graduated from one. Should have earned a PHD, but, as you know, the higher you go, academically, the closer you need to interact with students and teachers. Overwhelming for me. My problem is that I got a lot of female attention in those days. Other young men, and even some teachers, didn't like it. They would say and do things to get me frazzled and try to hurt my confidence. It worked many times. Jealously is a big sin amongst human beings. Church leaders do the same thing. A few times I led a Sunday service. The pastor said, and I quote, "You did great, but your face was meant for radio." In other words, I'm the leader here, not you! Looking back, he was insecure and coveted the attention. Instead of training me for ministry, which I desired, he kept my "gifts" bottled up. A few years later, he resigned in disgrace, never to minister again. Don't listen to those whose motives are selfish, even abusive. We with C-PTSD are usually so sensitive and easily bullied by those jaded and hardened. Don't cower anymore. You all were meant for greatness in one form or another.

Utterly gutted... You understand- truly, completely, genuinely understand. Every word in this video tells my story. Thank you so much for the hope!

No platitudes, no thankyou 😂. It's all about processes and you explain it so well. And with your special warmth. 🌞🌿😊

Just wanted to celebrate that I've tried to quit coffee a billion times, and between the daily practice and finally getting enough financial stability that I can stop suppressing my need to rest, I finally quit!

I was feeling very disempowered today and ruminating my regrets. It feels horrid. Then I shared some of it and then someone told me stop ruminating and I was hurt. The call ended badly. Thank you for this video. I forget that I am still empowered.

Your precious heart has helped me so much 💓 appreciate your guidance

At 68, I am improving with your insights. Burning with intense anger for not learning these insights in my 20s - 50s when I was seeking help from therapists, coaches, teachers, clergy and 'Christians'. I wanted my life to work and I wanted to succeed as my friends were doing - all I got from the world was criticism and indifference. I find at 68 with ASD tbat I no longer care about society or its traditional institutions that let me down. I am glad to be starting over with u Anna.

Sheesh! That outside force was a doozy this year. And there's a spiritual component to that . Almost took me out this year, I'm not gonna lie. I'm still recovering. Your videos have been a source of fuel for my professional goals. I'm so glad you found your calling because it's a huge benefit to a lot of people who are making changes. I can't wait to buy your book when it comes out. 📕

Thank you for sharing all of this with such honesty and vulnerability. Every aspect of disempowerment you described hit right home and you have no idea how reassuring it felt for me to hear all of this. Like "okay, so I'm NOT imagining things. This really is what's going on in my life". Thank you so much for sharing all of this content. I used to think I was doomed to feel the way I feel and live this sort of half-life that's nowhere close to satisfying or fulfilling. And now I've started watching your videos and doing the daily practice, I feel there's hope. So thank you.

Absolutely brilliantly expressed - I have to weave in God's will for me in everything you say but I get that everyone is not a believer on your channel. Now, I realise that I had exactly the right parents for me and now after a lifetime of hatred anger and resentment for my upbringing I have a sense of great love and peace for my parents and I pray for them. If I do not love my parents (even if I am not in contact with them) there can be no peace. Once I used to hope I would get to heaven and they would be on the other side. Not anymore. I know one poet has already said that I was he got all his parents faults plus some extra for himself. Guilty as charged. 12 Steps - just cannot get to a meeting here in rural France and on line anything is not an option. But if you sit in a Church pew it has the same effecgt - immediately you can see people who are in more difficult straits - the very elderly, the disabled and suddenly my difficulties are put into perspective. I had an ahh haa moment this week - I was beating myself up about something I said and then thought 'hey that could be part of a character' as I write. This is a form of detachment and made me laugh at myself as I write humour. I jumped on a sick priest the other day in a disregulated state and we sorted it out pretty well together. However, I trusted my feelings enough to know that I was triggered by bad behaviour so although I now have peace with the said priest, I did not sit next to him as he denied my feelings and his sense of humour was teasing - which is a form of bullying, but I didn't tell him that of course (my French is not good enough). Good thing about approaching 70 is that health and getting through the day by eating well is a priority. Life is simpler and better. Thank you for a great video.

Perfect message, perfect timing...third time in less than a month with such a synchronicity. You speak both to my mind - in a very articulated and well thought way - and to my heart. Thank you Anna!!

I think its so painful when you realize that you spent your whole life trying to find people to connect with that have had similar experiences thinking it would help Only to realize that it has the opposite effect and that you cant be with the same people anymore because you want to break the cycle but they cant And would rather suck you back in then let you leave or join you . I feel lucky in that I figured it out sooner rather than later I wish those friends could have done the work too so we could do it together but no

They not only have to face their own failure but also the fact that they are wrong about you & that in itself exposes them.

Aloha Fairy! I am so glad I chanced upon your videos 2 weeks ago, while staying in the hospital. There, I was so depressed I told myself to re educate myself while inside. I searched KZfaq and found you. I have listened to you every day since. Your videos are like medication and are very spot on for what I experienced as a kid, to an adult. I am so glad you shared your experiences and insights despite the challenges you yourself face. Thank you so so so much. Xx, Tenzo (Singapore)

One of your best videos - please share more like this. Very succinct, reflective, and practical. TY for sharing!

Best Trauma Healing Videos on the internet are right here! Thank you Anna!!🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Everything described my situation prefectly...

I set a goal of being ready for the next day and decided to check emails. I did both but I was so unbelieving I would meet those goals I did not set any others, but there are more things I would be able to do.

“A blank imagination!! I’m such a creative person and do so many kinds of art and simply cannot envision my own future. An incredible observation and dead on. I sob for my inability to (currently) manifest the person I know I am. Really, really appreciate your vids -from a therapy veteran.

Anna, been watching you for the last couple years and your messages are so powerful. This timing is spot on. My heart is so heavy as I'm trying to reach out to my Nana and she's very angry with me. She sent me a very very long email yesterday. I haven't talked to her since Sept. 2021, but I've reached out multiple times leaving voicemails apologizing for my anger due to my chronic pain. She made it quite clear that she doesn't give a damn about why I would act negatively and basically need to keep my crap together. After a couple of years coming back from brain surgeries and incurable health issues and it started at 26. Also tomorrow it's eight months off of heavy medication which is obviously been life-changing. I know I'm worth it. But it just sucks being continuously reminded from everyone that I'm not worth their time.

It is like you are in my head 🧚🏻‍♀️

Anna I feel like I need you beside me every step of the way. I stopped watching your videos for 1 week and now i am currently in the throws of an emotional flashback because of my own behavior this past week. Your comment about the “quick fixes” really got to me. That’s exactly what I did this past weekend. Now I’m trying to recover emotionally.

So many things I am learning and understanding about myself since watching your videos. I feel like I am getting farther watching your videos than I ever did in counseling. Thank you so much for what you're doing here.

Thank you! This video is THE BEST TOOL! I’ve been listening for over a month, as I’ve been working on myself months before. I am stronger… My mind is learning to take care of my heart! This is building my confidence…. it feels wonderful. I’ve never cared what people think but I would hideaway …. I’m almost half a century! I’m not hiding away anymore. I always approach with kindness and understanding…this will not change. I’m protecting myself… This changed everything!! God bless you❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

You're a treasure found!! I thank God for you. Thank you for being here for us. ❤

damn, that hit closer to home than I would have liked it to...

My parents discouraged me from doing anything I wanted unless it was to be a wife and mother in the same town they live in. Every potential plan I told them would be met with them asking "but what if...". Like I needed to have a backup plan for every single bad possibility no matter how remote. So they never officially told me no but they taught me that before I made any life choices I had every potential consequence of my choice. It was all just a way to keep me spinning my wheels so I would stay small and they could keep feeling superior. Jokes on them. I'm outta here now. I'm done feeling bad so other people can feel good without working for it.

Every time you talk, I get a new nugget of data that 'triggers' another "aha!" moment - in a good, informative way. Bless you for the work you're doing! Keep at it. People need this ❤

I've come a long way over the years and appreciate the topics you discuss. I have an example of idealized version versus disempowered version from yesterday, 17 years after my daddy passed away. As a truck driver, he didn't get to spend a lot of time with us but I appreciate the time with him more than with the rest of the family, as he seemed to understand I had a need to be me, not a version that others expected me to be. When I turned 17, Daddy came home for a year so that he could spend time with me before I left the house. I have dissociative issues, so I still can't recall most of my life, but the thing that sticks out to me is the time he walked up to me and apologized for believing the scapegoated lies about me and told me he was proud of how loving and helpful I am. I turned yesterday from a death day into a rebirth day, spending time alone and with my husband who has a similar energy that warms my heart and helps me connect with myself. I also journaled and connected with the spiritual side of me. When my husband got a sudden request from a friend, I encouraged him to hang out since they hadn't seen one another in years if not decades. A few hours later, my husband asked if his friend could come over, so I said, "yes," instead of giving in to fears, as I had been trafficked in my last marriage. To handle the fears, I cleaned and sang and put on makeup to hide the bags, as I had horrible sleep the night before. His friend was nice and fun to talk to, though more extroverted with an intense look in his eyes that triggered me. I stayed present instead of blacking out like I used to and, though I had the usual fears that I might be trafficked again, I recognized the present's difference from the past. Talking to men induces anxiety in me, but my purpose includes healing from sexual and other traumas and encouraging others to take back their sexual power. Even when his friend pointed out that I come off as cold, I didn't completely gaslight myself, though the thoughts that I'm an evil and unempathetic person came up, thoughts that came from my mom and not from me. I went to bed before he left, but woke less drained than I used to after socializing. I also love the introverted time that I have today to do a video about the day, which I plan to share on my channel and maybe as a podcast, once I learn more about the audio editing. I still have a long way to go, but life is getting better. The hope finally feels less delusional, as well. Thanks again for your inspiring videos. You are a fairy! :D

It’s crazy that you just said that you need to listen because shortly beforehand I was thinking that I should attend your live call today just to listen. I’ve been having SO MANY moments of synchronicity lately and I’m trying to lean into the signs as they come. I’ve been binge watching your videos and it’s mind blowing how much all your videos seem to be telling my story someway somehow. Limerance led me here but I quickly became hooked and felt more understood and seen than ever before 😻.

Another great talk 🙏👍🙂 Anna is sharing her gift with us..

Wow❗️ Yes, I know what you're talking about Anna. I have been feeling that way. For me to see it now, is hope; I'll hold onto it until I get there and become who I am. I needed to pause the video, what you were saying was so aligned with what I'm going through; perfectly illustrating it. I got overwhelmed. I doubted I'd ever find someone, anyone, who'd understand. I'm glad I was wrong. Thank you, Anna ❤

Always love your videos. They're packed with info and I re-listen many, many times. Often I find that I am surprised that you have experienced what we have because you seem so youthful and light in spirit. Your stories about mean neighbors (I will never forget those cul-de-sac wine-o-clockers! ouch!), bad (bad for us) exes, instability, etc., etc., etc.you really do understand. You have lived it and have an amazing insight. Thank you for your help and wisdom! Thank you for knowing that you had more to offer because so many of us can see that and through you are learning to help ourselves.

Amazing insight you have. Every time I watch you I feel I've learned something, thank you xxx

Can’t wait to join a call of yours You have made my thoughts seem relatable for once and the daily practice has brought me some real emotional peace.

😢 You Truly Understand. I feel little better knowing this. Thank You.❤️

Oh Anna! I will listen to this video twice more tonight! It is SO VERY encouraging ! Thank you for this Hope !

Hi Anna! Your videos helped me a lot and changed my life. Thank You!

Just experienced a person who was hot n cold, always reached out but closer we got the distant he became. Though he always messages first when I reply he's so cold I'm left puzzled. If we speak I will not hear from him for days. When message so distant and end conversation. I told him I'm losing confidence speaking and not sure why he keeps in touch if he does not like speaking. He answers and calls to speak but if I give input he gets very angry. I'm also a bit avoidant but I make effort and I tried sooo hard here. He's such a sweet good person. It's not relationship a friendship actually I don't know I don't want to be like this anymore. Each time I say something he changes settings. Now I'm on vanish mode. I try not to take it personally or be hurt. I wonder what happened to him to be like this because he's so nice in many ways. I pray he will become aware.

I think i'm in denial i need to come to terms wirh how dysfunctional i am. I can't seem to overcome my coping behaviors like snacking and video games. I lose all my energy to stress at work and then veg all night feeling guilty that i'm doing nothing with my life. I am sure it's not true but can't seem to stop feeling it.

Feel like you and my psychologist are in communication. Haha I legit just talked to her about this exact struggle last week. This isn't the first time this has happened either. 😂 I feel broken and struggle with never feeling good enough. It's a rollercoaster ride. It's a continuous pattern of the slow climb up the hill, feeling good at the top, then it's a steep fall down the bottom. Each and every time I'm like Rocky Balboa celebrating at the top of the stairs. Then the fall happens like the Tower of Terror. Something happens like a friend gets offended by something I said. I'm at a point in my healing I understand and can recognize my disregulation most of the time. I understand the principles of my healing journey. But the application is my struggle and appears to be the catalyst to the tower of terror. Deer in the head lights, deadpan lack of applications. My go-to is to try to fix the mistakes as I try to apply what I've learned. This has caused close friends to put up tall boundaries and distance themselves. Understandable as they have their own lives to live. I'm also highly empathetic, which is a gift but also a punishment. When someone I care about or someone I can relate to is hurting, every ounce of me feels it. So much I see it's off-putting to them. Also my friends have expressed they don't want to cause me to hurt and distance themselves. It's heart breaking to me I'm unable to be that person for them. It's emotionally exhausting for them to be my friend and to give feedback and encouragement. @Thecrappychildhoodfairy From all that you said in this video, how do you apply it? For example a close friend expressed distaste for @Thecrappychikdhoodfairy. (Not true but for the sake of an example) They made a remark, cautioning you not to only seek professional aid that supports and aligns with your belief. But instead seek guidance from professionals who are qualified and experienced. That's fundamental not who you are and your disappointment They have that opinion of you is heartbreaking. I spoke to my psychologist about my real interaction with a friend. But I'm curious how you would respond/react to that example. A side note, I absolutely love your content and the daily practice. Your insight is on point. It's something I use and take with me to my psychologist sessions. Thank you for all that you do ❤ you truly are a Fairy for a crappy childhood 😊

I needed to hear this. I keep thinking about that song by switchfoot that goes “we were meant to live for so much more, have we lost ourselves, somewhere we live inside…” It really embodies the experience we have when we’re disempowered by our upbringing.

This world seems so loveless. Thats a trauma sign I bet. Like, pre-formatting the world as bad. To a nail, everything looks like a hammer.

Wow, this is me exactly! And articulated so clearly. This video is so important and helpful for me. I feel I can start to understand myself.

Lonely in a full room,dad passed mother with alzheimers,not long left to live and I can’t get there it is my mother in law’s funeral in three hours timeline sucks

Thank you for your kindness and such helpful videos 💗

My later issues seem to not have been around low confidence from within but rather survival instinct, deal with what is there in order to survive.

I really needed to hear this one today. Thank you Anna.

Omg! I've only just started watching this and know its exactly what I need to help right now! Thanks again Anna❤

So enlightening, and helpful, Thank you! I've never understood the "what and why's" of this. Why the always and constant knock-downs to a happy spirit. Thank you!

I want to take your course so badly but don't have the funds yet! I hope this will be an ongoing course as i am so ready to get past my dysfunctional ways that have really prevented me from living my best life.

I have been diagnosed with complex ptsd today. I am 45 and have struggled my whole life. Looking to start the healing process now.

Thank you, your writing techniques are so good. Thank you ❤

THANK YOU!!! ALL This is So TRUE!!!! 🙏👍💛💯 God Bless, & Take Care!! 🙏💜💕🌺🌺

If only, right?! Right! If only. It's wonderful to know you offer the free course. I appreciate that, so much! Thank you, CC fairy!

The 46 min ad before this video was kind of awesome. " The boy with the broken brain"

Thanks for this video!!!!!

I keep coming back to this video and listening again and again. The thing about trauma-driven thinking/behavior is you don't even realize you're engaging in it, or you have some vague sense that you're settling for very little in life.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR LIGHT BEARING.

Anna, you are absolutely precious ❤

Thank you so much Fairy. Appreciate it.

Now I see why I couldn't do school during all the pain. Ended up nowhere in life

I wish I could have your input with my family issues, you seem so helpful and my issues are bigger than I could possibly disclose online. I wish you were part of my supports. I've been trying for years with local mental health place. But the problems are centered around my young daughter (11) and her genetics, the "hostile womb" she grew inside of and the intsincts I fight to defend myself, trying to remember she is my child, not the abuser although she hurts me and others so often. because of the trauma I am trying to overcome. From the girls' father. And constantly trying to seize the time I have left to make a difference in her attachment to me. So much agression, so many services- all which are failing us. May god bless you and dear God, I pray may this somehow touch something somewhere, and maybe someday we can have some peace.

Watching this video feels like I am getting down to the root cause of 30 years of struggle! It feels so freeing! I'm going to join the CCF community in 2024 and see if I can take some of the courses. This feels very hopeful. 😊💫 Anna, you are such a gift from God! 🥰

I did actualy pop sone popcorn too and that is something i put off until i finished said goals.

Thank you Anna, this is so incredibly helpful and encouraging

thank you for helping me feel seen and heard.

I love you Crappy childhood fairy ❤

What a fabulous thumbnail. Gorgeous! 😍

Makeup looks great Anna! 😘💄🎨(just started the video but I just wanted to say!…) Xo Krisma

U have helped save my life..God bless you ❤

Yes I totally know the feeling you're talking about so well.

Just the video I needed ...:)

I truly have no idea what i want out of life. I always manage to make sure i have no other options other than struggling to get by. It won't be easy to try and come up with something

I have a sincere question: Is 48/49 too old to change and improve your life, finances, love life? I have this thought that because I've tried to change, be better so many times before and failed that, at this point, I may be unable to change my life for the better. anyone else feeling this way, have this question? 🙏🏽💕

I am SO Tired of Dealing with All of this, now at the age of 43. Seeking help and working on myself since I was 19.

all your vids are spot on for me like wow

My mother gave up & accepted that she would never have more & then pretended that what she had WAS more. At 60 I feel on the verge of giving up too. But your channel gives me hope

Thank you Anna... I think I am finally ready to heal my trauma and want to explore these resources. Can someone please share their experience with Anna's healing techniques and principles?

My child gets really upset when we ask we ask him if he is being nice. I must be doing something wrong. I never learned how to give positive feedback from my parents. My mother said we were never good enough or that we were so great we weren't allowed to enjoy ourselves, my father wanted me to be Einstein. I found myself bonding with people who didn't get along with their parents, had lost parents, or were social outcasts. For a while, I thought this was some kind of autism. And that temporary thing? After COVID to escape my parents (and my past), I rented a place that was very wrong for my family.

I love your hair in that pic.

Great points discussed in this video. Do you have any papers? Do you have suggestions for research papers on these topics?

100 percent !

My mother molested me and there was sexual behavior and lack of boundaries in my house.

I have been attached to a man who mirrors my narcissistic & emotionally abusive mother for almost 40 years

Thanks so much for everything you put out here, really helpful - I really want to use your free writing tools but couldn’t find it on your website if anyone could help please?