Still working on finishing the merch website, but the link will be posted everywhere on all socials (and the new video coming out the 20th if I can finish it) - Hope you guys are excited for the merch, and thank you for allowing me to be able to release something like this! Truly an honor and a blessing folks

the nut zone is my favorite place in the world

This would be THE WORST way of finding out you have a nut allergy.

“time moves differently in the nut zone” is a horrific sentence and i never want to hear it again thank you

I'm a big fan of this "creating the ultimate" series

Can this be counted as a biological weapon against kids allergic to nuts

Fake: didn’t nut in the butter Expecting the apology video immediately I’m afraid you have been cancelled Ted Nvidia

Just imagine walking down the isle of a grocery store and seeing a man, Taller than a _freaking_ *T-Rex* there, With a shopping cart... filled to the _brim_ with _nuts_

I feel like the way ted determines the rating system in these videos is by randomizing an article on wikipedia

My favorite episode of good mythical morning so far

imagine you're just trying to get groceries and this big man with a terrifying aura just has a shopping cart filled to the brim with nuts

He missed the opportunity of saying, "I'll cashew guys around in the next video"

I think the fact that they never explain WHY just eating a macadamia nut "raises more questions than it answers" is why I love this content so much.

This could just be me, but think you might need just ONE more stick of butter.

As a person deathly allergic to all nuts, this terrifies me

i love how you can see it get darker and darker outside in the window

Ted: *mentions how almonds taste sweet* Me: so that’s the cyanide.

How did Harrison go from “Scruffy college student” to “Balding dad in his mid 30s” over the span of 6 months?

hazelnuts: “i was actually supposed to be in the video”

‘my eyes feel like they’re falling out of my head’ we did it guys. we found the secret ingredient.

"bro why you so tired? Everything ok at home?" "Oh I'm good I just stayed up all night making homemade butter out of different kinds of nuts with my friend and then we tried to make the ultimate butter by combining all of them"

The milk man is back

Alternate title: Ted and his friend go through every single stage of greif while eating nuts

I don’t know how he possibly perfectly described how the macadamia tasted by saying that it’s the worst part of the salad. A man of high lexical talent.

I like to think that it isn't a sound effect and whenever Ted eats something someone's bones shatter.

Now mix every type of jelly, and make an ultimate nut butter and jelly sandwich

i was hoping they would taste it and ted would just go “eh” then that’s it end of video

13:40 *Rhett and Link frantically trying to think of other things to butter*

the small 'huh?' after you rise from being water boarded gets me every time

“The Nuts are in the Oven” sounds like the absolute worst euphemism I’ve ever heard, thank you Ted

Can you imagine being the cashier seeing this taller than life man buying every type of milk or every type of nut and wondering wth is he gonna do with them

10:16 ohohoho a chance to talk about my culture? Yes please. (I'm aboriginal if anyone's curious :] ) Wendigos (win-dee-go) are people who have become overpowered by greed or resorting to cannibalism to survive. They become mutated. And turn into an evil spirit who wanders around in search of people to kill and eat. They know how to mimic human voices and lead their prey into their trap. Saying their name summons one. Being around one or being in contact with one for a prolonged amount of time will turn you into one. They are described to be tall, have pointed or animal-like ears with horns sprouting out of their head. Their eyes are described to be sunken and glowing like hot coal, they have super sharp teeth, horrible smelling breath and bad body odor. You're able to tell when one's coming when you feel fevered, extremely hungry, paranoid and easily ticked off and feelings of extreme coldness. They live in Canada and in some parts of the US. Also talking about my ethnicity, I should bring awareness about Residential Schools. (HUGE TW) Residential schools were implemented in Canada from 1871-1921 to take away indigenous children to strip them of their culture. Children were abused, raped and killed. In August they found over 1,300 bodies of children in only 5 of 139 schools. And it's so fucking sad that we may never know the exact number of how many children died because of some bodies being burned. And if any rape victims got pregnant and gave birth they'd get their babies thrown into the fireplace. I was first taught about these horrible places in school when I was 8, and every year we have a lesson taught about them. Every year on September 30 we wear orange shirts to remember the poor children who were killed, And to show that every child matters. This is a fucking cultural genocide and it should've been addressed years ago.

The fact that Harrison stayed for this entire video just shows he is a good friend.

“It’s not a sponsorship, it’s something pretty cool baby”: advertisement for guardian tales

The merch isn't embarrassing. that's a good thing

I love walnuts and I loved Harrison’s “idk it just made me happy”

Hope whoever moved in after them didn't have a nut allergy.

Harrison just seems so broken. Ted managed to completely mentally and physically break a man. Can we pray for Harrison please?

I think one of Ted's most incredible humouristic resources are his facial expressions. I have never seen one twice.

5:22 Homeboy really just said "peek annes :D," instead of puh cons

11:28 when he spills the cashews it sounded like cartoon running

This isnt how nut butter is made. Everyone knows nut butter is made from nut milk from a nut cow

"1 to 5 stegosauruses" Americans will measure in anything but the metric system

Can I just say, that Ted has had by far the coolest add for his merch on his channel that I have ever seen, the musics bopping, it’s got the backstory clips behind the designs, keeps you interested as well, plus you can wear all of this without feeling like your gonna get judged for wearing someone’s merch because of how casual they look and how unique they are. You done good Ted ✋

I love how he has a picture of whatever the videos topic is on his monitor

i wonder if ted knows they sell pistachios “unwrapped”

You can tell it’s actually been four hours when he says “what you think, will go, what, walnut, will it butter?”

"He clearly likes it!"

i love this video especially just because ted and harrison both become just so so miserable over time

"Time moves differently in the nut zone" Harrison - 2020

Harrison: *uses the spoon normally* Ted: *_"how did you do that?"_*

i watched this to brain cleanse after watching Hereditary and 11:47 was just what i needed thank you

At 8:59 there was an ad between Ted saying "nut" and "butter". ultimate nut

"It's very alright" Yo pro cooking advice: add salt. Salt is the only salvation from this hell known only as "nutbutter".

I’m really glad Ted told us that he wouldn’t be in the same house in the next video. I got to say a proper goodbye without being surprised, which I really appreciate. Thank you Ted.

11:18 when ted takes nuts and puts them in the oven

4:56 What my parents said when I was born

Harrison doesn't need to imagine having a mythical being as a friend, Ted already is one

The pure agony in Ted's voice when he said "It's 2am" is just pure beauty

The editing of this video is really hellish is this what a stroke feels like

11:45 Ted's look of blank DREAD when the thing moves towards him killed me😂

Warning: Do not try this at home if allergic to nuts

This made me smile. Thank you for working so hard for our entertainment.

I keep coming back to this video and the cereal one. I always loved Harrison as a guest. Hope he’s doing well

I like that only Harrison's left hand has its fingernails painted

Alternate Title: “Two men slowly descend into madness while making that good nut... Stegosaurus?”

Ted nivision: we will be making a nut butter of every nut Hazelnut: oh so does that includ... Ted nivision: NO

i aspire to be as good as ted’s editor. who actually edits these?

I'm going to be completely honest, the crunching sound effects just make this video for me.

i love how ted always just brings in one of his different irl friends every food video and never properly introduces them

Tbh your mercy is one of the best KZfaqr merch I’ve seen! It’s super cute, an inside joke and doesn’t even look like merch!!! 5/5 stegosaurus

“Go big or go to a baseball game” Took me waaay too long to get that joke

They could've theoretically just put all the different types of nuts in at one time and saved themselves

“Nut Butter. It’s an enigma.” God I knew I was in for a treat when he started with this

5:23 PEE CANS

We need an ultimate jam to combine with our ultimate nut butter to create the ultimate pb&j

i love that ted goes straight from nut butter to aliens and pyramids

alternate title: two grown ass men spend an entire night staring at a food processor

ted low key sponsored my Wegmans 😂

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO THIS GLORIOUS VIDEO AND HAPPY (almost) ONE YEAR TO YOUR FIRST MERCH DROP

Peanuts are actually legumes so technically your eating bean butter.

“We need to be out of here in *checks watch* FOUR DAYS”

Please make more of these videos. They are very good 3 am videos!

I appreciate the effort that went into this video. You have done necessary and important work here.

Ted: “It’s something frickin cool, baby.” Me: *gets Chromebook ad*

"You should have some basis for that bias" "No.." Anti-vaxxers be like

Never would've thought making nut butter would be such a test of endurance.

Honestly the amount of editing this must have required. I have infinite respect for Ted

"Because Harrison and I have to be out of here in 4 days" *makes the nut butters* "...in 3 days."

how ironic that Kellogg invented nut butter when he hated nutting

That fucking crunch noise is back. Nothing makes me recoil all the way down to my toes like that noise

"He Clearly Likes It!"

The hard cut to “its 2 Am” resonated with quarentine self

There were so many "nut" related jokes that weren't said, but should have been

i love the way ted says cookie at 4:22

HOW DOES THIS NOT HVA EMORE VIEWS AND LIKES!?!?! They way they just devolve into pure hatred for nuts is the highlight of my day

Milk video: “Almonds are the worst nut.” This video: “4/5 stegs”

Oh god what if they made sticks of nut butter into rectangular prisms like normal butter *And why do I fear it so much*

Ted, I just wanna say I really love these videos making the ultimate "-"! Also the cereal testing. These are the vids I come back to. And the stupid panda knockoff ofcourse

The amount of spite and exhaustion as Ted asked us to tell him our favorite nut at the end made me fucking piss myself