This video started out as one thing and the turned completely into somethings else. I've had this world in my head for a while. A future where humanity colonises the stars. I'm aware this is not a unique notion, but it's one that I have found solace in. I created the "Join the Colonies" video showcasing a billboard, where an animation played of a commercial asking people to sign up to become colonists. For whatever reason, this video has tanked, and yet it is one of my favourites. But it sets the tone for future videos about said colonies. Onto 'Isolation' where a man takes up the call and joins. After I created the video and the soundtrack I hit record and just started talking. I essentially became a kid again and started pretending I was a man stuck in a box in the middle of nowhere on his own. And the longer I did it, the easier it became. I started talking about my mum. My mum passed away a few months ago. At the time it wasn't a shock she died as she was very unwell. But at the same time, it's always a shock when someone dies. As I spoke safe in my own world, I was able to articulate thoughts I had never felt safe to say out loud before. We had a strained relationship at times. Mum had her own demons. And yet as I sit here now, it all seems so utterly trivial. I just remember her, and the more I do the more I feel her absence. There is a lot of me in this video. It's true to say that if we had one more day now we wouldn't have a huge amount of substance to say to each other. But how I would enjoy just her presence. I have been struggling so bad at points in my life where people who know me look at me helpless and say "I don't know what to do". As in, I don't know how to help you. I've always said you don't need to do anything other than be present as I fall apart. So that I'm not falling apart alone. When I said I want to go and watch the sunrise with my mum that was just that. I don't want to talk, or argue, or blame. I just want to sit with you. In a way it's been very cathartic. I'm still finding my way into this new world that she isn't a part of. There are a lot of great wonderful things in my life to focus on. I wonder how that may come out in future videos? In the meantime, I hope you are well. Take care, B

Can you be alone with your thoughts?