Agents of the Narcissist The Flying Monkey

Рет қаралды 19,790

2 жыл бұрын

In this video Darren Magee discusses agents of the narcissist aka Flying Monkeys. These are people narcissists recruit to carry out and continue their smear campaign, the controlling behaviour on their behalf.
So why do narcissists recruit others to do their work for them?
- A way of perpetuating the mistreatment, spread rumours, destroy victims reputations.
Different styles - individual, gossip, mobbing, triangulation, stalking, feed information between
Different types of Flying Monkey
1. Naive / fawning - believe whatever their told, try to help
2. Toxic - rumour spreading, victim shaming and blaming, focuses on the victims reactions
3. Invalidator - ignores the victim, blames them for being a victim
4. Cowardly - obeys out of fear of wrath turned towards themselves
5. Trauma bonded / Co-dependant - supports and apologises, worships
Dealing with Agents of the Narcissist • Agents of the Narcissi...
If you find this video interesting please consider supporting me on Patreon or Substack
/ dfmagee
darrenfmagee.substack.com/
#flyingmonkeys #narcissisticabuse #narcissism

Пікірлер: 84

@DarrenFMagee 2 жыл бұрын

This is a re upload of an older video I made. Had a go at trying to fix the sound so hopefully it'll be little louder, a little clearer.

@susandean8584 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for all of your very informative videos. I’m wondering if you could do a video on what it would take for a narcissist to recover. There are many videos on what narcissists do that is problematic but I can’t find much on how they can recover. This leaves me feeling very hopeless. I would so love to see the narcissist in my life become mentally healthy.

@DarrenFMagee 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your suggestion and kind feedback

@ALFAS_club 2 жыл бұрын

I just noticed, that you know about the quality of the sound and that you were trying to fix it. It is helpful, that you have a little bit of description under the video. It is a GREAT video, maybe you can make more on this subject and HOW TO FIND OUT WHO IS A FLYING MONKEY < IF YOU KNOW ONLY SOME OF THEM AND HOW TO UNDERSTAND IF THE PERSON FAKE OT NOT? Thank you

@chrismarley3536 Жыл бұрын

Merry Christmas, @DarrenFMagee & thank you. Today, the time to spend with loved ones here in the US is such an opportunity for the narcissist to have weapons, ammunition @ the ready for use by their weapon-ized flying 🐒. You described some here in this vid perfectly (as well as some narc behaviors I've endured). So, on to my point: what to do other than attempt avoidance. When is it prudent to bravely face them but behave as though nothing is wrong or how to determine when it's better to walk away? One of the identified narcissists complete with flanking flying Monkeys has been avoided by me for 3-4 yrs. Whereas another engaged in the narcissistic behavior towards me hides behind many fronts but still attacks so I've not been able to avoid them altogether. Appreciate your channel here.

@pattyflanders8021 2 жыл бұрын

Condemnation without investigation is the height of ignorance. Albert Einstein.

@radfan7020 Жыл бұрын

mhmm. investigate the holocaust.

@AZDC99 Жыл бұрын

SO-CALLED people who buy into the SMEAR CAMPAIGN are so desperate to sink the so-called "deserving of scorn" victim that don't do anything.They have such a need to 'WIN' that they will fabricate or give untruths about people

@graveyardghost2603 2 жыл бұрын

My family is made up of narcissists. Unfortunately for me, I take medication for a mental illness, which delights them because now they can say, "see, she is the crazy one". It is a bad situation, and I have had to go No Contact to survive with my dignity intact.

@priyadarshan4577 2 жыл бұрын

Stay strong Lorelei. Im sorry to hear that. You are not alone. I have narcissistic parents. But I never let myself give my control to them regardless they go any extent.

@graveyardghost2603 2 жыл бұрын

@@priyadarshan4577 thank you! 😍

@nabeelahs9588 2 жыл бұрын

The sooner the better. Staying will remove any dignity you had left

@giftedhands4207 2 жыл бұрын

Yes and I hate to say it but the health issues...mental health issues are ALL CAUSED BY BEING RAISED WITH THESE NARCS...I went homeless just to get a piece of mind...I even looked better the minute I left...sorry to say but I will never return to these wicked people....deep down they enjoyed all the abused...the only thing that will make them feel bad about about mistreating us IS GODS WRATH...some of them won't even survive the abuse they put us through without going over the edge in everyway in life...we survived them and that's not something they thought we would do ...they underestimate us ALL THE TIME BUT GOD ALWAYS SHOWS THEM SOMETHING DIFFERENTLY IN THE END....BE BLESSED and SAFE.....MOVE ON IN LIFE AND ASK GOD TO BLESS YOU WITH A NEW FAMILY/ FRIENDS WHO LOVE AND RESPECT YOU AS A HUMAN BEING #NOCONTACT # NEVERLOOKBACK

@kristinmeyer489 2 жыл бұрын

Sounds sadly familiar. I didn't take meds, but I know EXACTLY what you mean. It's way beyond hurtful.

@language-n-learning 2 жыл бұрын

Over the last 8 years or so, I've followed tons of channels that educate people about narcissism and watched/listened to hundreds or probably thousands of videos on narcissism, and this is, hands down, the best video on flying monkeys that I've ever come across. Well done and thank you!

@izawaniek2568 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Darren. I have been surrounded by all kinds of flying monkeys . The pain and devastation they have brought into my life are impossible to describe. Your description of those types of narcisistic flying monkeys is impressively accurate. Thank you.

@donnas.1576 Жыл бұрын

At the end of our 35 year marriage, I think I have experienced all of the types of the flying monkeys you describe. The Other Woman who I never met and who didn't know me at all, became the meddler in our lives. She believed his false story about me, supported and encouraged him. She posted that she doesn't save people, she loves them which tells me that the ex has played the victim through all of this. The ex-sister-in-laws told me that there are two sides to every story but refused to hear my side or hear anything negative about their brother. When I did offer how I was treated/abused, one of them told me I was all about blame and blocked me from her life. Another great video! Thanks!

@qq84 2 жыл бұрын

No, the flying monkeys know exactly what they're doing. The narc is generous to them. The flying monkeys do contract dirty work for the narc.

@oOIIIMIIIOo 2 жыл бұрын

Yes, they benefit from being flying monkeys in the one or the other way. The only part I feel pity for are the ones who have their lives threatened physically.

@shelleybayless8968 2 жыл бұрын

Good Lord! You’re talking about my niece (and her Narc mother, my sister). I encouraged them to move down here from up North when they needed help. They lived with me for 1-1/2 month and made my life a living Hades. I would love to have a relationship with them, but I would go absolutely nuts!

@eileenansaldi3128 2 жыл бұрын

Darren explains everything succinctly & with such an easy demeanour it’s relaxing to listen to while absorbing the topic of narcissism. 👏🏼👏🏼🙌🏼👍I had to recently break off a friendship I had developed w/ a woman as a client in the healing profession. I was her massage therapist. I thought I was helping her deal w/ various personal problems until she turned on me and didn’t know why until I stood up to her! I was so drained by her moods & demanding nature outside of the massage room; that I realised she was just using me. One of her recent dramas was a man she met thru a dating app who she found it hard to let go of ( because he was a narcissist) when I asked her why she said because I’m a “bit of a narcissist” as well….. This is when mycuriosity peaked & needed to know what she meant. So I went to KZfaq & tho I’ve heard others explain, I’m delighted to find Darren’s because his voice is so pleasant & he doesn’t puff up his own credentials before he explains his topic covered. Eileen

@pattimessenger6214 2 жыл бұрын

Today is the first time I have heard the phrase Flying Monkey to refer to someone who does the dirty work for the narcissist. It is so very fitting! Actually, the flying monkey in my life once loved me. Which makes it so hurtful that she is so vicious in word and deed. I fully expect the narcissist to turn on her, and blame her for his actions, in the fullness of time. I really hope she realizes she is being used, and he is setting her up to take the fall and pay the price for both of their actions. And I really hope she wises up before then.

@mariannekoroleva6495 2 жыл бұрын

I was always wondering why the most of the flying monkeys of my narc "mother" did not stay with her after abusing me, despite all of the deep "trust" between them. The flying monkeys play with dirt which cannot be ever washed away... Thank You!!

@hujuibertyu31 11 ай бұрын

Yeah. It's not genuine trust at all. Its a theatre play bonded by trauma. Disgusting.

@Juiceboxdan72 2 жыл бұрын

My mom tried to make a monkey out of me at one point. Ironically, the values I learned from her prevented me from doing it (at least so far as I can remember).

@yamlwoz 2 жыл бұрын

This is the best description of the various types of flying monkeys that I've ever heard. Thank you so much! My husband is a naive flying monkey for my covert narc mother. Hubby truly believes that everyone is good and means well. Though he's certainly hurt me a lot over the years by defending my mother, and my cerebral narc cousin against me, and telling me I'm 'aggressive' when I talk through how I could have spoken up for myself. How he can use the word aggressive in the same sentence as my name would be incredulous to everyone else that knows me. I've remained silent my whole life, as countless people have walked all over me in hobnailed boots. Yet other than this he is a wonderful and loving husband. I think he just wants to lead his pollyanna life without me making him aware of anything to the contrary. He treats my mother like a princess and he's her devoted slave though, and that's really annoying.

@camellia8625 2 жыл бұрын

I am sorry you are going through this. I would find it very hard to stay married to such an invalidating individual.

@oOIIIMIIIOo 2 жыл бұрын

@@camellia8625 Yes, I would ask him with whom he is married. 😄

@TheTeganOsmondChannel Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for addressing mobbing, Darren. You're great

@DarrenFMagee Жыл бұрын

Thank you Tegan glad you found it helpful. Keep getting those great guests on your channel you're putting out some great and informative chats 👍

@lacecurtainirish 2 жыл бұрын

I would like to make a suggestion for a future video topic: relationship dynamics between two narcissists. In my personal experience, my father was a covert narcissist and my oldest sister was a malignant narcissist. Both incredibly hateful and manipulative in their own ways but they seemed to have an unspoken regard for each other. They knew the awful things each other did and seemed to respect them. I’ve seen this dynamic amongst narcissists in the workplace as well. I would so appreciate your insight.

@DarrenFMagee 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your suggestion

@-.-E-.- Жыл бұрын

I second this suggestion!

@arnettetopian7743 12 күн бұрын

8Thank you!! Just came through a situation with a narcissist. I identified her quickly but it was her flying monkey who escaped my radar. This video gave me insight so I now feel better able to handle the flying monkey. Amazingly, she has tried to re-enter my life but you gave me understanding of this attempt to draw me back into the web.

@nabeelahs9588 2 жыл бұрын

I really appreciate your way of explaining things. And not over dramatizing an already painful issue like every other youtuber. Thank you

@nicoledburns82 2 жыл бұрын

In my case my narc is my sister and my parents are complete enablers. My sister has threatened suicide if she doesn't get her way even as a young kid and she found that she will get what she wants if she threatens it. So my parents have grown accustomed to being at her every call and doing what she wants because they are afraid if they dont then she will kill herself. Its disgusting really the way my sister blames her behavior on whatever made up mental illness she wants (she is self diagnosed Anxiety , Borderline Personality Disorder, Deoression, Manic Deoression, Bipolar Disorder and PTSD). In a way I feel bad for my parents but still get ticked when they excuse her behavior.

@ThereseDavidson 2 жыл бұрын

I’ve been through this 3 times, 3 flying monkey groups against me. Uff it’s tough. I’ve left 3 times, this last time I just became very burnt out. But I will never accept it again, never.

@camellia8625 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for such an illuminating insight into this very frustrating to deal with topic.

@oOIIIMIIIOo 2 жыл бұрын

I hate it when someone tries to pull me into triangulation. I only help when I think it is necessary, without anyone telling me what I should do. 😄

@ardatay4847 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for these great videos. 🙏Your simple and clear way of revealing one of the most prevalent mental disorders of the present era helped me a lot to finally see the whole picture of what I was going through for years.

@ginaeboldt5107 11 ай бұрын

Omg…this is spot on. I was giving a name to each flying monkey description in my life. Just subscribed 👍🏻❤️

@louiesworkshop2023 2 жыл бұрын

My wife and I listened to your brillant and quite frighteningly accurate video which to a T describes my father in law and sadly our daughters, as you explained my wife was able to put a name to each and every flying monkey unfortunately this has included her own father, we just want to thankyou for taking the time to share your knowledge and help us see the bigger picture and how it all works.

@ApacheMagic 2 жыл бұрын

Every description of the narcissist brings up an image of Amber Heard

@YourSecretIsSafeWithMe 3 ай бұрын

Everything finally came crashing down yesterday. Why did it take so freaking long for the authorities to do something? He should have been arrested the day that I called foul play! The IRS is now handling things. It appears that the agency is a powerful figure. Now my local police department is going to arrest this plague on society. I’m happy that it’s finally over. The truth has prevailed. I have finally prevailed. 🥰

@randy_cbc8811 8 күн бұрын

Good for you, congrats, and be encouraged in the Lord.

@bubblywaters3116 Жыл бұрын

I need you as my therapist! Edit: Can one person be all types of narc? Because I swear you are describing them to a tee with all your descriptions.

@hujuibertyu31 11 ай бұрын

My personal observation answers yes.

@hujuibertyu31 11 ай бұрын

Most insidious flying monkey is the one that pretends like he is the mediator between victim and abuser. They always use u for giving information about u and also sell their priveleged position to abuser. In this way, they also feel themselves more virtuous than both victim and abuser. Games, games and games my friends...

@laskartrece 2 жыл бұрын

Excellent, this view from the side...!

@shespeaks2441 Ай бұрын

The narcissist is now deceased yet the damage to my reputation he inflicted remains. The flying monkeys in professional positions he influenced seem to be determined to carry out his evil agenda even if I means hurting other innocent people to do it.

@ArthurGraham-vy1ze Жыл бұрын

I got control of my drinking more than a decade ago. Now i drink almost never. I drink but very rarely. But there's still people who touch my life that like to say I'm still drinking. I know what will happen to them because of them saying things like that, so I'm not worried. It's extremely annoying though.

@amyj.4992 6 ай бұрын

Narcissist are either the hero or the victim, never the villain. I'm a survivor in my life 💕 and a villain in someone's story lol 🤣

@joshuas1834 2 жыл бұрын

Great content but the audio is way too quiet. I have to turn the volume up about 30% higher than I do on other videos.

@paulh2468 2 жыл бұрын

Very helpful. Thank you. The more I look into this, the more I see evolution at play. In violent ancestral environments, 40,000 years ago, the behaviour of narcissists and psychopaths would have been adaptive, and selected for. Many 'leaders' have one or both pathologies. Trying to establish dominance, and being socially predatory on other humans, would have led to survival and increased mating opportunity for the narcissist. In the modern world, their behaviour may have become less fit and adaptive. Or not. Cubicle farms can be very dangerous places. Genetic therapy, to remove the problematic chromosomes, might be humanity's only salvation. From my personal unpleasant experiences with narcissists, psychopaths and other undesirables, I'd suggest eugenics, via immediate euthanasia, to remove the ALL the problematic individuals from the global gene pool. This would also help with the global over-population problem, and create a lot of fertilizer, or soylent green. It's probably a good thing I'm not the decider.

@PBVader 2 жыл бұрын

You start screwing with nature like that, you are looking at both becoming the narcissist yourself, and the eventual realization of societal collapse.

@katiepayne2479 2 жыл бұрын

I think my dad is a victim, handmaid, and flying monkey all in one.

@mm669 Жыл бұрын

How come the scapegoat can't get flying monkeys? Why is it only the narcissists that have all this support?

@DaughterofZyion 2 жыл бұрын

My life rn

@ALFAS_club 2 жыл бұрын

Sorry for capital letters ) copied and pasted). HOW TO FIND OUT WHO IS A FLYING MONKEY ? IF YOU KNOW ONLY SOME OF THEM AND HOW TO UNDERSTAND IF THE PERSON FAKE OT NOT? Thank you

@matthewwozniak9138 8 ай бұрын

Personality types 🎃Know it all, 🤖Heartless,🦁Beast, 😇Fairy Godmother and 👽Jealous Witch. 🐒Flying monkeys are yes men/women.

@ALFAS_club 2 жыл бұрын

Low sound volume .Can you , please, turn up the volume up ( sound track), before posting the video? It is easy, I do not know with what app up are making a video, but normally you either double click on the sound track or the right click to see a pop-up with the options to make volume up . Your videos are very useful, but too low volume for me even in a headphones. Please, try to make the sound volume up after recording. Thank you very much.

@martinadennis8858 4 ай бұрын

Does a pathalogicial narcissist ever get mentally exhausted from all the mental gymnastics?

@nicholecornes1915 4 ай бұрын

We have mental heath issues because of them!

@Real2k25 2 жыл бұрын

My cousins stabbed me in the back for racks aints no they heart had a price

@johnshafer7214 2 жыл бұрын

I think of the flying monkeys of Sam Harris. He's a narcissist who accuses others of being a narcissist. He'll complain he's being taken out of context or being strawman with his fans (flying monkeys) defending him constantly.

@nicholecornes1915 4 ай бұрын

Dont bother telling anyone anything