dealing with other people's opinions and judgement, sharing what I learned // my burnout diaries

Рет қаралды 2,007

3 ай бұрын

One of the reasons why I was burnt-out and had to quit my corporate job was because of the amounts of different (often conflicting) opinions. As a senior software engineer, I had to "influence" other teams, and people within my team, which is something I didn't enjoy doing. The feeling that I "must have an opinion", and trying to create a harmonious environment pleasing others caused me to lose a sense of self. In this video, I want to share with you what I've realized and learned since I've left corporate.
Be you, do you. ❤️
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#simpleliving #burnout #stressrelief
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Пікірлер: 28

@ErikaJadeLives 3 ай бұрын

I burned out from big tech software development living in the Bay Area last year after only a few years (of reaching my dream) and realized I had childhood trauma issues. I’d never made so much money yet was painfully unhappy. I watched your video about burnout and teared up. I get you. Currently down in Mexico and focusing on self care, but now wanting to now figure out what to do next. At 40, I’m just now really learning who I am. I thought I was fundamentally less than other people and “crazy” because that’s what I was told all my life by family who didn’t want me to be a full human being with my own thoughts. Now I tell myself and show myself that I love me everyday. Reparenting myself on the most simple things. Thank you for sharing your journey. Finally I have the courage to share mine. 🤗

@andrewxu 3 ай бұрын

Erika, this comment hits home for me 🤗. I get you 100%. Growing up with childhood trauma manifest itself in so many ways I wasn't able to be aware of until recently. When I realized it, I felt a sense of freedom to finally be able to live MY life for ME. I'm also learning to love myself, and reparenting myself in a way my parents weren't able to be growing up. I get it, and I'm so happy you are able to start living the way you are meant to live! Best of luck of your journey, and continue to be kind to yourself! ❤️

@TenseiCho 2 ай бұрын

My online friend group would constantly give me advice because I talked about my own struggles in life because I trusted them with that information. I agree with you about listening to it but it eventually got to a point where no one respected me in the slightest. Talking behind my back, laughing at my jokes at me rather then with me etc. I realize that my life circumstances are super unique and it's probably for the best that the information I share is much less. After leaving them to my own circumstances, I realize like you that I need to be my own best friend instead of letting other peoples opinions take hold of me. Love the video and I'm glad I'm not the only one mentally striving to be his best self.

@andrewxu Ай бұрын

hey there, glad you're learning to filter out other people's opinions. It's a peace we must protect ☺️. Be you, do you! Take care!

@mydogisbailey 3 ай бұрын

Agreed! I am a Canadian but I worked in SF in tech, where I was making US$200k per year. After five years, I decided to leave everything and move to France. I’ve been living in Paris now for one year. I make €1980 a month, and am the happiest I’ve ever been 😊 I have been asked by friends and family how my career is going to look like in the future (with the implied question of am I really going to stay poor the rest of my life) and I don’t know right now. And that’s ok. I have belief in myself and the world that I will be fine, one way or another

@andrewxu 3 ай бұрын

hey Jack, so happy for you pursuing the lifestyle that works for you! I think others who don't understand that work and opportunities will always exist, but when time and health (of the youth) has passed, that is gone forever and we will NEVER get it back. So happy for you, take care!

@judyvsworld 3 ай бұрын

this is the content i go on yt to watch ahhhh. keep making videos!

@andrewxu 3 ай бұрын

hey Judy, thank you 😊

@ironuckles 12 сағат бұрын

Your tech burnout story is very relatable. May I suggest you read the book "Burnout Society"? You would find it interesting. Would love to hear your ideas.

@Dizzymack1 3 ай бұрын

Excellent video! Regarding the emphasis on opinionatedness in software development, it's a trend I've observed frequently throughout my career. While I acknowledge the advantages of having strong opinions, I also believe it's a characteristic that engineers definitely lean on for some reason.

@andrewxu 3 ай бұрын

hey Donovan, glad I'm not the only one that observed that! I actually have a video planned sometime in the future to expand on this about "correctness". I think I know why we (as software developers) do this, stay tuned 🤣

@battlevain 2 ай бұрын

We have to learn to block out and filter the opinions of others. Many people project their own toxicity on others and few people are even aware of what they are doing. It isn't about being ignorant or blinkered, but rather just being rooted in your own truth. Dont take it on board, see the toxicity in such encounters and listen to your intuition. You have to remember that you are fine, its the draining negative energy of others that has to be avoided or rejected.

@andrewxu 2 ай бұрын

very well said! Everyone is projecting their pain and suffering, and there are so much of that these days. Have to protect that inner peace. Hope you're doing well!

@battlevain 2 ай бұрын

@@andrewxuThanks for the reply. You are so right, our modern day culture sees many people collecting and then dumping their own unhappiness on to others and this has sadly become normalized. We have to protect our inner energy at all costs and know when to walk away. Keep up the great posts my friend, very inspiring indeed.

@LouiseHansen_ 3 ай бұрын

Ugh still the one thing holding me back. I have the funds to go barista fire, or just take a few years off, but I'm terrified of my workplace's reaction since we're all really close and hang out all the time Keep telling myself that I'll quit within the next 6 months

@andrewxu 3 ай бұрын

hey Louise, congrats on reaching barista FIRE! I understand what you mean, it's hard for many to comprehend the idea of "FIRE" especially at a young age. Most people primarily remember/associate us by what we "do" for work, and not who we "are" as a person. One thing that I found helpful is to tell them that you're taking a break, and/or tell them about passion projects you're working on, etc. Hope that helps, and try to remember there will always be people who won't understand, and that's ok, because you are living your life, not them. Now go and enjoy your achievement, and be you, do you ☺️. Take care!

@user-fr8zj3fi5g 3 ай бұрын

Love the message ❤

@universal1772 3 ай бұрын

👍

@stoicismcore 3 ай бұрын

Thanks. A lot.

@LeoPitt-fi8lt 3 ай бұрын

You so cute smart insightful and empowering

@andrewxu 3 ай бұрын

haha thank you for your kind words. Hope you're doing well.

@sakurakissss 3 ай бұрын

❤

@TheWellnessCues 3 ай бұрын

Great video ! 💖

@andrewxu 3 ай бұрын

Thank you, hope you're doing well!

@user-fr8zj3fi5g 3 ай бұрын

How long were you stressed out may I ask? Was it the last few years or whole tech career?

@andrewxu 3 ай бұрын

hey there, I think the stress was like a "boiling frog" situation, it increased overtime. At the start of my tech career as a junior developer, things were better because the politics and expectations were very minimal. I just had to show up to work, code, and learn. But the further up I got in the corporate ladder, that's when it became chronic stress. Hope that helps!

@user-fr8zj3fi5g 3 ай бұрын

Love the message ❤

@user-fr8zj3fi5g 3 ай бұрын

Love the message ❤