Helpful while making notes off this video 😁😅

thank you :)

Thank you

Great.

ANGEL

Totally xD

NLP - Diese drei Buchstaben haben mein Leben ruiniert........ ungefähr genauso wie als ich im Jahre 2010 in ein Diakonia LAden reingerannt bin und von einem Verkäufer Scientology belabert wurde Since I was debile!!!!

Oh, yes! Or... Me: - Oh, I know how to solve this problem! Brain: - I'd be a shame if you got a tension headache, that'd trigger a migraine 😈

PuuuuLl tHe lEvEr cROnk

@@miriam3848 SAME

I love how Kati smiled childishly there.

plus using drugs

Zinnia27 yeah. Kind of comfort (good) vs numbing (getting in the way of life)

Absolutely! Something I've struggled with my whole life & am only now becoming aware of it

How much of compensating for lack is based simply on a misleading view of reality as we actually experience it? What I mean is what is observable when you don't project some idea or ideal on it and expect whatever it is to match your expectation, which of course, leads to an inevitable disappointment. It is like expecting things to last when change and impermanence is what the Universe does. This can be a common and learned behavior in a culture that places primary value on acquisition of things and competition with others and considers behaviors and beliefs like that to be the most meaningful. That's something to explore for yourself with an open honest investigation, since there are many influences that can lead you to false assumptions about life and hence, there is suffering involved and the need to compensate for the perception of lack in place of the recognition and appreciation of what actually is right now and only now. When you notice that the drives or ideas that revolve around the expectation of some ultimate and lasting satisfaction, (in whatever shape or form you define it) are not at all realistic or true, then you see that satisfaction and other states are temporary; they come and they go like everything does. Coming to terms with that can actually be more satisfying, (well, addiction is an issue here) because what you experience is actually internal reactions and then, satisfaction is also something you generate as a reaction or response to what you imagine or think will be satisfying. So, it is in your hands and maybe even a choice then to cultivate a sense of contentment and satisfaction naturally rather than artificially by way of people and objects. Obviously, nothing and nobody is going to actually do that for long and you are bound to be dissatisfied, otherwise. Consider a sneeze. You can feel the sense of strong irritation as the sensation builds. Then, suddenly, you sneeze and there is a very pleasant sense of relief that then fades away. That's a simile for everything we experience when you pay attention. Why fool one's self by imagining a time or a place where, someday, when everything is right, it will all be okay, (as I imagine it) forever? That prevalent means of avoiding the flow in the present could really drive a person to compensate, overcompensate and even numb themselves as a futile attempt to avoid simply how experience functions. It might take some practice or tenacity to really see how unsatisfactory life typically is, but doing so aligns you with the way of life and that can, conversely allow your mind and emotions to function more naturally and authentically. You have to find out for yourself because it is a matter of experience, not just knowing and ideas. Often, the acceptance, by way of inquiry, into the way things are actually functioning is very connecting and brings about a sense of well being naturally.

Simply put, because the decades of emptiness and loneliness are unbearable...and yet inescapable unless we wish to take on even more abuse from others because we only ever attract abusive parties...and so we seek to distract ourselves from that pain. Consider my reality, I’m 48 and I have been an adult for 30-1/2 years now and, of those years, 30 have been spent living entirely alone devoid of relationships and most of those years largely, if not entirely, devoid of any friends either because my childhood was defined by many others abusing myself and then I made the awful mistake of attempting to date in early adulthood only to be faced with even more violence and abuse and once you realize that even those who would see you as worthy of love (something I can not see even in myself) seek to abuse you there really isn’t anywhere else to go but to isolate yourself from all the people you fear will just continue the abuse because so many in your life have been abusive towards you. So we desperately desire love and companionship but we have learned from repeated experience that such can only come at the expense of more abuse. I don’t know that I would survive much more abuse as it already destroyed my mental and physical health by the time I was 18 and left me permanently disabled, living with severe chronic pain and with Complex PTSD that I had to struggle with on my own for 30 years before I could find a therapist that I could trust enough not to abuse me in the same way those that came before her had. So we have a simple choice, numb ourselves by some means or commit suicide and those are the options many of us face (I left out the abuse that came 30 years ago when I made the terrible mistake of seeking therapy and that very nearly cost me my life years ago, so even therapy was no option). So, in short, we numb to stay alive even if we feel mostly dead. I’m not sure most viewers realize how incredibly recent even the concept of treating trauma is, and childhood trauma in particular (for a long time children were viewed as infinitely resilient and thus childhood trauma was of zero treatment concern - we were literally told that “you are an adult now, so you should just get over it”), so many of us had no treatment options and were left to cope as best we could for decades. But the concept of treating trauma was barely in its infancy in the 1990s and really didn’t become at all common or widespread until sometime well after the 2000s as it takes time for the newest batch of ,metal health professionals who were the first to be taught about developmental trauma to earn their degrees and get into actual practice...and even that only happens after educators finally get on board with teaching their students about childhood trauma and that took time too.

Vitoria Kipnis Kati already has a great video!!! kzfaq.info/get/bejne/bNRji6iT0dW0gn0.html

That would be amazing.

It's so tiring fighting this isn't it. For me, I seem to compartmentalize the act of not doing it, reasons not to, what it will cause in my family, etc. Great suggestion!

Hi ! I had this situation 10 years ago, I can promise you suicide is not the answer ! You might feel bad and bored & stuck but you'll realize you needed time to find who you are and once you know, you will love and protect yourself :) If cheesy movies and youtube videos doesn't do the trick, I suggest you turn on scary movies. They're scientifically known to improve strength against stress & negativity, google it ;) Altho keep yourself busy with creativity, at the end you feel great and more productive. So how about you ask a friend or a relative to watch the Scream trilogy while eating HOMEMADE apple pie ? If you're 100% alone like I was, you'll survive and enjoy anyway !

Vitoria Kipnis ya

My whole country uses that :))

@@kedithmiaff are you brazilian??? Ajdkdgisj

@@alecojaleco nope hahaha

I guess it could be overcompensation or sublimation? I'm also interested in this. Like, when it's all shit, let's joke about it.

It is not healthy

Same for me... I saw that coming though but I feel I might have cried a lot about it way before I know the actual word. =(

I don't get how I can stop doing that

I think the first step is realizing that you’re doing it. Then, once you start noticing yourself doing it, you can try to stop overthinking everything and actually deal with how your feeling. I’m not very good at it yet but practice makes better (because no one is perfect)

When we see a therapist we can be helped to explore the feelings and situations we may have understandably not been able to deal with and face, in a SAFE environment which is really important. I hope you get the chance to do that. All care meant. x

Awe xoxo Of course :)

Ah you helped me realise part of why I project.thanks

Ikr?

She's probably an INFJ. We can do telepathy........

Was just about to write the same thing!

That is the hard part I guess... The alternative is to feel the feelings en work through them... As Kati shortly mentioned, try to talk about how you feel, and make a connection. It is going to take some work for me, and it is going to be hard, but together we can do it! :)

Thanks for sharing :) xoxo

Elzanie Vorster omg I do that 😂😂😂😂

I was hoping she would mention this one too! I definitely use laughter as a defense mechanism.

She has a video talking about that - racking my brain to remember what it's called, it's in her 100's of videos somewhere lol

Ash G i think it’s called inappropriate reaction or inappropriate affect. Something like that lol

Elzanie Vorster this is such a common defensive mechanism there’s a saying for it. “laugh to keep from crying”

Awe thanks!!! And of course! I am so happy to be a helpful resource :) xoxo

I am so glad you liked it and found it helpful!! yay!! xoxo

Whether or not it's normal, at least now you know and you can start working on it!

tsukigalleta aww

Rachel Wyatt I do that too, it’s called Dissociation. There are several different kinds other then DID, like Depersonalization/ Derealization. I describe it as if I was watching a movie but the sound & picture don’t quite match. Check out Kati’s playlist on Disassociation Disorders! kzfaq.info/sun/PL_loxoCVsWqy8NqveX22SsMKlW5601YvQ