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Have you ever felt confused by a partner’s lack of sexual interest?
Maybe you’ve experienced a fiery erotic attraction to them, and they appear to be attracted to you too, but once you get between the sheets, the fire sizzles out.
As a result, you might find yourself wondering if you are doing something wrong: how can the chemistry appear to be so promising, only to blow up in your face?
And really wanting to know what the underlying problem is, so you can fix it.
Welp. You are not alone in this.
In my online Facebook group of over 10k members, individuals often share posts and comments expressing those very same thoughts, feelings and experiences.
For example, recently a member posted the question…
Does a lack of sexual interest relate to avoidant attachment?
If you can relate to this, this 15 minute video is for you.
In it, I explain 6 crucially important factors that may be affecting a partner’s lack of sexual interest--when everything else seems to be such a good fit.
So let’s dive in...
One of the pitfalls of learning a framework for understanding human behavior is a tendency to pathologize that which we don’t understand and find a way to make it fit the framework. Before I would assume attachment styles are at play, I would have to consider at least six important factors:
1. Assess the subjective, qualitative experience.
2. Rule out dispositional identity issues.
3. Rule out biological or physical issues, including hormonal issues, mental health issues and medication side effects.
4. Rule out porn addiction.
5. Rule out erotic blueprints.
6. Consider if there is a trauma history and its influence on attachment styles.
Of course, any number of these factors could overlap with one another; we witness and experience these intersecting factors as a gestalt experience: the whole being greater than the sum of its parts.
But it is worth while teasing out each component so that you are more aware of what the most influential underlying issue might be, so that you can best go about addressing it.
For more information on the resources I’ve mentioned, check out the links below:
The Great Porn Experiment
• The great porn experim...
Relationship Rescue
members.brianamacwilliam.com/...
⭐WHAT ATTACHMENT STYLE ARE YOU?⭐
Take the quiz: bit.ly/4LuvStylesYT
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OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT…
Instagram: @BrianaMacWilliam
Facebook group: / attachmentinadultrelat...
Website: www.brianamacwilliam.com/