Doubting as a Mormon Missionary and in Early Marriage: Dallin Seely of @TheDashleys

Doubting as a Mormon Missionary and in Early Marriage: Dallin Seely of @TheDashleys | Ep. 1729

Рет қаралды 119,360

Күн бұрын

Dallin Seely from KZfaq channel @TheDashleys grew up as a multigenerational Mormon. His father's early passing from stomach cancer when Dallin is only seven leads Dallin to experience intense scrupulosity growing up over the fear he will never be "worthy" to see his father again in heaven.
After serving a mission, he falls in love with Ashley. The couple deals with the church’s inherent sexism, including in the temple and the teaching of “the patriarchal order” in the Mormon church. Continuous marriage struggles lead them to seek therapy amidst running their channel ‪@TheDashleys‬ This leads to the healthiest time in their marriage, as they were able to have emotional intimacy and talk about their feelings, including Ashley's feelings about sexism in the Church. Dallin and Ashley tell how they learned to embrace their true selves and how they are raising their children in a way that eliminates guilt and fear.
00:00:00 Intro
00:01:30 Dallin’s KZfaq channel, day to day family lifestyle
00:04:35 Intentions
00:06:11 Multigenerational mormon
00:10:22 Early death of his father due to stomach cancer on Dallin’s birthday.
00:15:30 Father’s funeral and his baptism were on the same day
00:21:40 Dallin’s wards helped the family a lot
00:25:45 Dallin feels much of the harm of Mormonism happens in the mind in quiet times. Living lives of quiet desperation.
00:26:45 Bishop Roulette and masturbation guilt
00:38:55 Dallin realizes his worthiness has just been up to people’s opinions
00:40:18 Mission prep & getting endowed at 18 before HS graduation
00:45:40 Mission experiences, “death by a thousand cuts”
01:07:30 Elder Bednar visits his mission, causing Dallin to question eternal families
01:24:44 Coming home from his mission, urged to marry
01:31:40 Institute classes introduce more unanswered questions.
01:35:50 Dallin meets Ashley at EFY, follows his heart and marries her despite thinking God wanted him to marry someone else
01:45:09 Ashley troubled by Temple sexism
01:49:00 Mormon patriarchy & sexism
01:57:55 First child born, Ashley is struggling and Dallin confused why ideal Mormon Marriage isn’t working out
02:06:40 Starting their youtube channel in 2015
02:19:15 The Dashleys’ marriage starts to improve with marital counseling
02:31:00 Dallin reads the CES Letter. Ashley gives him space to talk about his feelings and she shares hers too. Dallin finally sees the sexism Ashley has been experiencing in the Church
02:37:30 They don’t want their daughter to experience the same sexism. They want her to be treated as an equal.
02:50:37 Dallin has a lot of work to do to figure out who he is. Guilt & fear start to subside.
03:07:56 Learning more on how the brain works
03:11:20 Navigating faith crisis on social media.
03:13:00 “Literally it’s only been good” since they left the Church
03:14:50 Unabashedly Dallin
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Пікірлер: 374

@EdgeH20Mark Жыл бұрын

As a non-Mormon, what’s so weird to me is that you can share your issues with one Bishop and think you’re going to hell and then you meet with another Bishop and it’s like “no big deal.” Who would trust this process?

@JulieSnowstudiojuliesnow3698 Жыл бұрын

You are absolutely right. Any outsider looking in should definitely see this as nonsensical. And it is!!! The problem is, if you are born into this way of thinking, it becomes very normalized, because you are taught from the beginning that leaders of God have the magical "power of discernment" over their particular stewardship, and they are entitled to revelation from God about you and your worthiness. So even though the truth of it is that it is leadership roulette, which totally goes against something else they teach which is that God's laws are unchanging, you are completely comfortable with trusting in what your specific leader has to say specifically about you. You feel like that's the word of God coming through them. It's messed up!

@Mizzlenum Жыл бұрын

Right but unfortunately too many of us have lived many years of our lives like that.

@cristinarudnik2386 Жыл бұрын

Right????? Blows my mind🤯

@Zelph_undying Жыл бұрын

Oh! It's crazy, when I was a teenager we had 2-3 solid bishops in a row and the youth program was growing and vibrant, but then a new bishop completely killed off an entire generation of youth participation in the congregation with his die-hard rhetoric and unforgiving stances. I honestly don't know if they ever recovered from it.

@amygreen758 Жыл бұрын

We actually have a name for this-- it's called "bishop roulette".

@drewj829 Жыл бұрын

I served with Dallin in the great Ohio, 2009 to 2011. Had a similar experience. Great interview !

@marcellacruser951 Жыл бұрын

I just completely lost my sht when Dallin said they baptized him on the day of his dad's funeral. I do not understand how a group of people could be THAT insensitive, but it makes me want to scream. WTAF is wrong with these people? He's watching them bury his dad and they're telling him he's now responsible for his own sin? It's the ultimate in manipulation.

@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Жыл бұрын

You can't understand it because you live with fear, you reek of it. His father died, they celebrated his life and they celebrated the new life of his son. "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." John 3:3 - Marcella Cruser you cannot "see" this.

@TheDashleys Жыл бұрын

It was definitely a lot for me haha but I think we just wanted to do it when everybody was in town so they could all see my baptism too. But looking back now I would have waited and just had my baptism later.

@ragenbostrom8075 Жыл бұрын

I've noticed that baptism after an 8th birthday cannot possibly be scheduled 2 weeks after that birthday. It has to be hurried. Why on earth didn't an adult step in and say NO - the baptism should NOT be the same day they bury his father.

@hayalistanbul5418 Жыл бұрын

@@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt You are funny 😂

@bananadogs5 Жыл бұрын

I’m Jewish, a SECULAR Jew. I think what Mormons do to their children is child abuse…ie the baptism at his dads funeral⁉️ omg.

@PhoenixGoddess4444 Жыл бұрын

I follow the Dashley’s and have for quite a while. I was low key hoping they’d discover the truth about Mormonism and when they got brave enough to share little nuggets that backed up my hopes for them. I was ecstatic when they confirmed and am very excited to listen to them on Mormon Stories!! 💜💜💜 Welcome to the bright side! 💜💜

@PhoenixGoddess4444 Жыл бұрын

I’ll be in Disneyland while you’re podcasting but I will be listening soon!

@kerstinklenovsky239 Жыл бұрын

You nailed it. This podcast is there to help people realize that they are not alone and not crazy. ❤️

@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Жыл бұрын

All this podcast did was teach people to blame others for their problems.

@sarahsteely1938 Жыл бұрын

@@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt get outta here 😂

@CarolynMatyjanka Жыл бұрын

@LUCA CAMPBELL praying you will one day open yourself to the Truth that sets you free! 🫶

@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Жыл бұрын

@@CarolynMatyjanka Why? Am I in a cage? Who put me in there, did you? Let me guess you have key right? or know the guy who does, am I warm? Oldest sales trick on the planet, create a need and then offer the solution. You are not free, you are just blind and in a different cage. Let me help you see a little. Ever watched a Hillsong/Michael W Smith - song? All those young people with their hands up in the air like aerials looking for a signal, using words like "desperate" "draw me close" etc. etc. I say for starters that most really don't believe they "have Jesus" and they are still looking for him. Then there is the sad song where they call the sinners up to the mercy seat and who follows the sinners (i.e. those who don't know Jesus)? All the backslid Christians who need Jesus again, and again and again. Like I said before, you are not free, just blind. I will leave you here. "Let them alone; they are blind guides. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit" NIV Matt 15:14. Do not partronise me with your lies.

@Uso.MERK1 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Dallin for sharing your story. I think everyone leaving the church are trying to find their own “true north” for themselves and for their family’s. This is encouraging.

@sophieparmley1294 Жыл бұрын

Dallin was one of my EFY company counselors and I remember Ashley was another counselor at our session, almost ten years ago!! It's fascinating how our relationships with the church are so different now (I left as well a couple years ago). Looking forward to this series!

@winterjacobsen1745 Жыл бұрын

Ashley was my counselor!! Small world

@allikirby4503 Жыл бұрын

The honesty in his healing journey at becoming a parent is breath taking... Mormons and people in general r told u should love and enjoy every minute of parenting but reality is its the hardest most important role you will ever fill.

@lollymac2259 Жыл бұрын

Truly enjoyed this. I hope Ashley might come and share her story at some point. They’re both such interesting and thoughtful people so I’d love to see them interviewed together.

@Mizzlenum Жыл бұрын

This was probably one of the most interesting episodes of mormon stories. I loved it.

@bradleysouthard7131 4 ай бұрын

Fun fact, I was in the MTC at the same time as Dallin! In fact, I was there for that talk from Jeffrey R Holland! It was my last week in the MTC. I’m going through some similar struggles that Dallin went through, and I’m in a spot where I’ve got one foot in the church and one foot out and I’m not sure which direction I’m headed. This interview has been both comforting and revealing and I’ve been a long time fan of the Dashleys, so I’m glad to be able to hear what their journey has been like (oddly enough, all around the same time frame, too…)

@nicolewade160 3 ай бұрын

Good luck on your truth journey!! Pray you find peace

@lizzieb19450 3 ай бұрын

My birthday is June 20th I couldn’t imagine losing my dad on my 8th birthday. U are just a strong courageous man! Thank u for sharing ur story!! ❤

@lindsaymessegee5099 Жыл бұрын

The worthiness issue has been massive for me. After leaving an abusive marriage I had a lot of issues and had to do many bishop counsels and was put on probation and disfellowshipped eventually. I also was given the miracle of forgiveness book to read, bleh. Fast forward to today with a foot out the door I won't be letting anyone other than me determine my worth. I'm a woman but related so much to Dallin. Thank you ❤️

@Vetionarian Жыл бұрын

You were disfellowshipped just for leaving your marriage? that's messed up and I had no idea that kind of thing still happened in the church.

@elizabethkoobs1060 Жыл бұрын

Lindsay, I hope you are doing ok. I was also in an abusive marriage.🙏❤️

@nicolewade160 3 ай бұрын

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽yes to U!!!! Good job not letting anyone make u feel any less

@ascender14 Жыл бұрын

I come from a fundamentalist evangelical background. I have slowly progressed, over decades, to be much less uptight about my faith and to be very comfortable with nuance and uncertainty. I have learned so much from these interviews, and they are changing my life for the better. I have to laugh now, because in my earlier days, my biggest beef with the Mormon church was the lack of belief in my trinitarian God. The funny part is that Mormonism and fundamentalist evangelicalism are quite similar in many ways. Of all of these interviews that I have watched, this is the one I most identify with. Keep up the great work.

@massagewerks1734 3 ай бұрын

I’ve watched thousands of hours of msp and find this episode is the most dynamic of the many many excellent episodes I’ve watched. How do they keep getting better. Dallins transformation is absolutely incredible. Never mo here. Former evangelical. The two faith communities are extremely similar in how they control the minds of members. Both have toxic literal beliefs that destroy their agency. Extremely loyal. And conforming.

@gingercollier7949 2 ай бұрын

I thought it was not very good. John does a lot of leading and answering and explaining that this young man doesn’t seem to be able to articulate. Had to stop watching an 1 1/2 into it I was so bored.

@kaitlyn7695 Жыл бұрын

I have followed the Dashleys since their first year on KZfaq. They were my first experience with Mormons. I knew nothing about the religion but found them fascinating. Ashley and I are very similar and I could tell we were both new moms on our own islands. You both have grown so much. Thank you for helping me not be so lonely in our beginning parent years.

@hopegervais1407 Ай бұрын

I appreciate the podcast interviewer saying "work ... outside the home". Work happens, inside and outside the home, paid and unpaid. 😊

@jackieaudus9829 Жыл бұрын

Gotta be my number one Mormon Stories!!! Been following The Dashleys since Just after James arrived and initially stayed when I found out you guys were LDS even though I’m ex-mo, and started noticing little signs here and there, and was So excited you left!! John and Margi have kept me on the straight and narrow after leaving Mormonism, it seems to keep drawing me back… so glad I found support on the outside.

@nadineevans5195 7 ай бұрын

I used to follow the dashlys but became disillusioned with how terribly materialistic and wasteful they seem to have become. Maybe it's just American culture in general, idk.

@christschild7288 Жыл бұрын

You started thinking for yourself and stop letting the Church think for you!

@weeza8739 Жыл бұрын

I had the same experience Ashley did when going through the temple! I felt like a part of myself died - my independence as a woman and my direct relationship with God.

@Misdamas 7 ай бұрын

It’s amazing that women surrounded themselves around Jesus and His love for all equally. He was constantly accusing the righteous of their hypocrisy and self righteousness.

@mikelangley3919 Жыл бұрын

Great show John and Dallin. Dallin thanks for your honesty. I could totally relate to almost everything you said. It boggles your mind to think that there are probably hundreds or thousands of us who have traveled the same journey you went on when growing up in the church. Thanks for taking the time to come on Mormon Stories to share your life. I will be following you and your family on your KZfaq channel.

@judym.2124 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Dallin for being so open and honest about your faith journey so far. May God bless you and your whole family as you continue toward him. I have followed your beautiful family on You Tube and love you all. You have helped me see the need for humility and loss of control as a Catechist in Catechesis of the Good Shepherd (a Catholic program for children). I love all the Mormon families I know in person and on You Tube. Every Mormon I know is such a good person. And yet I see clearly now that the techniques they use are cruel and not correct. I believe in God and I believe we humans have the capacity to mess up passing on our faith. I pray that you find a channel to God through another faith. Your love for God is clear and I am sorry things were so horribly muddled for you through Mormon teachings. Trust that God has a plan for you. I will keep you and your whole family in my prayers.🙏💕🙏💕🙏

@Ilikepopcorn. Жыл бұрын

Whew.... this one was a doozie for me. My dad was a JS fanatic and church artifact collector. He was like Indiana Jones to me. He used his collection at firesides and Sunday school. He was not the average read-from-the-manual teacher and was never boring. My admission to no longer believing was gut punching for the both of us. He passed away a year and a half ago from stage IV cancer. Losing a parent is so hard, especially when you are young.

@danlauravitkavage1782 Жыл бұрын

Dallin, I haven’t finished listening yet, but your courage and transparency is to be commended. I’ve followed the Dashley’s since the beginning and always wondered about your family’s faith experiences. You and Ashley are probably the first vloggers I started listening to regularly. I’m so glad you made the decision to share your story here. Thank you.

@TheDashleys Жыл бұрын

This means so much thank you!

@kremmiz1 Жыл бұрын

I’ve been watching the Dashley’s since before Bebe George. I don’t know how I found them, but I’ve just always found them endearing and lovable. I knew that you all were in a faith transition for a while, so I was super intrigued to watch this. My husband and I did not grow up LDS but another religion, and have heaps of religious trauma that we’ve spent many years working through. So while the religion may be different, the revelations and experiences are so bizarrely similar. Dallin, my husbands dad left the family when he was about your age so although again, totally different situation/details, they way in which you dealt with things as a teen-young adult is so very familiar. Thank you for being so open. I know this isn’t easy or comfortable. You and Ashley are absolutely NOT people to make waves, but this is such an important conversation. Thank you for telling your story. ❤️❤️ I’d love to hear from Skylar, but I have a feeling things might be a bit raw (says the rando on the interwebs- but seriously).

@margenn3889 Жыл бұрын

I love their channel. I've think they show a very realistic side of life.

@armysapper12b 7 ай бұрын

Using his deceased father is such a horrific psychological and emotional manipulation tactic. I had that happen to me a few years ago when my stepfather passed away. I’ve not participated in the Mormon faith in many years and my stepfather was a very active member. I had the bishop (I went to high school with him) approach me a few days before the funeral and said that my dad came to him and wanted me to be active again. I asked was this before he passed or after, he said it was either that night before or sometime around then. I lost it and not in a kind way, because he had said some disconcerting things to my mother the day before, pretty much he was disappointed that she hadn’t attended church in the last year. Almost as if it was so much of a spiritual burden on my dad that he made it sound like it was one the main reasons for his death. I told him not only was he not to speak at my dad’s funeral, but I didn’t want him around at any point of the ceremony or graveside.

@amandahendrix8533 Жыл бұрын

Felt a panic attack coming on when you were talking about your weeks long experience as a kid being made to feel unworthy, shamed, embarrassed, with no known end to it 😢 I will think about that for a long time

@sunnya8 Жыл бұрын

I love Dallin & Ashley’s channel. It was nice to hear more about their journey here. And Dallin’s range of emotions was so welcomed (I knew he was funny from the vlogs but it’s nice to see the other sides).

@paulie1532 Жыл бұрын

I had no idea the church had stopped selling miracle of forgiveness. Kimball was sick.

@Zhaliberty Жыл бұрын

They're all sick. They were taught and trained that way. They almost can't help it.

@nicolewade160 3 ай бұрын

He’s probably a HUGE pervert too!! 🥴🤢🤮

@monkut 6 ай бұрын

"You have one opportunity to fall in love with existence, so sit back and enjoy." Wow, what a great quote.

@RampidWarthogStudios Жыл бұрын

I really appreciated this. My wife has struggled with the church all her life. I felt like I was letting everyone down the more I dated her and multiple family members had “come to Jesus talks” with me and I know they talked behind my back (long story) which was soooo painful to hear. Since then things are better and they all love her. But those scars are still there. My family is amazing but yeah… that really me just question the church… the culture at least.

@hannahplimpton5469 7 ай бұрын

1:45:00 when Dallin starts talking about ashley, his whole disposition changes. His love for her is clear is refreshing.

@jeniclaeys370 4 ай бұрын

I loved the Dashleys from the first video I saw, but I loved them despite their belief in mormonism lol this has been my fave episode to date

@lacywarren9140 Жыл бұрын

Oh Dallin!!! My heart just absolutely breaks for you while you talk about your Dad. I'm so sorry.

@sharonyoung8251 Жыл бұрын

I’m glad to hear that Mormans are realizing it’s not he truth. As a Christian, Jesus follower, I’ve always wondered why Mormans need another set of rules when the Bible has the answers.

@DarthCaedus7 Жыл бұрын

Right? Although the Bible’s answers are sometimes conflicting. If I want to abort some kids, should I drown them, dash their heads on rocks, or feed them to bears? The Bible says all three are good, which is the best?

@amcgill3378 Жыл бұрын

I am so glad I found this. I have been a huge fan of The Dashleys since almost the beginning. I am so proud of you Dallin. (And also Ashley) for being brave enough to speak your truth. You never know who will watch this and find hope from it.

@wendyweatherbee9796 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Dallin for sharing. I have watched The Dashleys for years and love your family. You are so brave for sharing your story and it's so important!

@julearobbins1849 Жыл бұрын

My husband and I started watching the Dashleys in their early days and we left the church around the same time in 2020. Its so good to hear Dallin's story and see just how far they have come. Im glad they are living more authentically, even through the small lens of social media they both seem so much happier now.

@kollettebowman5247 Жыл бұрын

I've watched the dashleys since before James was born and honestly kind of thought you guys might have been changing your thoughts on the Mormons and watching this made me so happy

@jobie105able Жыл бұрын

I love how he talks about the fatalism and destiny mindset that makes you second guess your choices constantly. It is so unhealthy. I also love how he held all the older prophets accountable. Like, no, that was taught and it was the gospel. I love these stories of everyday people. Especially ones that address some of the ridiculousness of missions.

@33snowgal Жыл бұрын

I’m a never mo but have seen a lot of Mormon family vlogs- including the Dashleys, it’s interesting to learn his story on a deeper level

@susannekloster4883 Жыл бұрын

Oh I know this way of thinking. Never clean enough, anxiety of if I forgot to confess something and it went on and on and on.. I was never good enough! Now I let go of all this crazy thinking and now I finally feel close to God and Christ again and feel loved and feel joy. I left the Church after a lot of praying and seeing how they brainwashed my beloved daugther, who went on a mission.. Never have I cried so many tears, than wenn I saw my daugther changing and getting the same sick thaugths as I used to have.

@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Жыл бұрын

That is an interesting story Susanne, how did you feel when they played a sad song and you walked to the mourner's bench, mercy seat, anxious bench whatever you want to call it and chose Jesus? Did you raise you hands as a sinner? Do you know that you are walking up to the front and confessing you are a sinner, in front of everyone (not just a guy in a bad suit)? How many times have you done this? Have you ever backslid a time or two and felt you need to re-accept Jesus, re-confess, re-dedicate whatever you want to call it and there you go up to the front again, and again, and again. That is an interesting exchange you have made.

@blainey73 Жыл бұрын

I absolutely love this. I've followed The Dashleys for a while now and had wondered what there religious journey looked like. I love that they have found their own path. I love them even more now and appreciate that they have been willing to share parts of their lives with the public. And I don't blame Ashley for not being there. It's still a bit fresh for them leaving the church and still figuring out how to navigate that separation. And the family members that are still active. ❤️

@michellestone2517 Жыл бұрын

I follow the Dashleys, for a long time I didn’t realize they were Morman. Maybe that’s how they ended up on my feed. Like many people obsessed with murder mysteries, I’m obsessed with cults and religion. I watch documentaries and listen to many podcasts Funny thing is I don’t think I ever believed, I was brought up Catholic and that was too big of a stretch for me. So I’m fascinated in what people believe and why. Dalin I just love your family and I hope you guys are really happy. Loved your interview.

@TheDashleys Жыл бұрын

Thanks Michelle!

@LoudLeo3 Жыл бұрын

I have been watching the Dashley’s since George was born. I am so glad your sharing your story, i so hope in a couple years Ashley is in a place to share as I would love to hear her perspective. I’ve seen too many young marriages break over a faith crisis like this and I’m go glad to hear your both strong in your relationship and moving forward. ❤

@jewelbrown7037 Жыл бұрын

Wow...all these stories brought to light. It gives me hope that things will improve. I'm just divorced and in a faith crisis aline in Alaska. Small community and lots of Mormons. Fear loosing my support system. I don't know what to do or who to trust.

@juliebrandt197 Жыл бұрын

I'm sorry, that sounds so hard. Leaving Mormonism is entering a whole new world, though. We don't need to let the still-Mormons hold us back. I lost my whole support network when I left, and then I realized they hadn't offered genuine support anyway.

@kirielbranson4843 Жыл бұрын

Hopefully some can offer you some links to support groups and maybe you can reach out online for some help and people to just talk to. And then maybe you can find people in your area from these groups. Do some google searches on where you are in your beliefs and your area. Like, "no longer believe Mormon, yourcityname state" or "questioning Mormon" or "husband still in Mormon church." I am not Mormon. I grew up Catholic so I don't know of any groups. Good luck.

@paulamacdonald7070 Жыл бұрын

Stay strong, you are worth it.

@crystalchristensen7972 Жыл бұрын

As a single mom, leaving my ex and my faith while being pregnant with baby#5 during COVID... Whew. It's a tough go. I hold space for your valid fears. Find out what resources they have for women and children in your area and make some friends in that direction if you think that would be helpful to get a support system. Hugs.

@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Жыл бұрын

This IS NOT light, this is hate in the guise of light. Don't worry, "For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7. If you want to know truth, you will be lead, be patient.

@maryritter141 Жыл бұрын

I don’t know if they were thinking Cleveland clinic! But Ross heart hospital at Ohio State University in Columbus. Has saved my dad‘s life twice. Amazing place. It has also helped many friends! Just a little update from Ohio. I enjoy your videos Dallin, and Ashley. I am not Mormon. Found this channel from Shay Scott. I’ve been struggling with Catholic Church and your channel, John has helped me clarify lots of things. Thank you.

@Synheath Жыл бұрын

I've been following the Dashleys since 2016 and I have seen Dalin open up so much in recent years! The guilt you held back was intense and Ashley is coming out and you both are blossoming into your trueselves 🥰❣️

@DNaWhoot Жыл бұрын

This guy should be a comedian, his timing is on point 🤣 I've never laughed so much during the podcast.

@charlesmendeley9823 Жыл бұрын

ChatGPT prompt: "Write an essay from the perspective of a person who left the LDS church after reading the CES letter, giving arguments for doing so."

@charlesmendeley9823 Жыл бұрын

Write an essay from the perspective of a person who left the LDS church, giving arguments for doing so, focusing on social issues.

@charlesmendeley9823 Жыл бұрын

Write an essay from the perspective of a person who left the LDS church, giving arguments for doing so, focusing on truth claims.

@mariewhitehead Жыл бұрын

Dallin & Ashley - found you through Five Two Love and love dropping in on your daily life especially during the pandemic shutdown. I have loved your honesty and increasing vulnerability and assumed there was a back story re religion & counseling and feel honored to hear this part of your story. ❤❤❤

@Mittenmarket Жыл бұрын

Oh Dallin......I have so much I want to say!! Some things make so much sense now. I am bummed Ashley didn't join. Margie being there too, might've helped. She asks the questions non Mormons like myself might be thinking and she's so kind. I feel your KZfaq audience would be open to hearing your journey! Great job!

@donnabasile829 Жыл бұрын

Hey Dallin- So glad you are sharing your story! I am honored to listen:). I love your channel:)

@cherylsnead727 Жыл бұрын

Dallin ❤ you and Ashley. I've been watching Dashleys since just before James arrived. Your whole family rocks. John, non Mormon here, thank you for your commentary and explaining the church. I have just recently found your channel and wow! I've already listened to several hours of your show. I am a lesbian that early on had thoughts of suicide. I did go trough many hours of therapy to realize that I not unique in that aspect and that I was not damned for all eternity. Thank you for being an ally ❤you and everyone at Mormon Stories.

@mary-annz.reynolds7778 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much, Dallin, for sharing your story. I love your videos. This episode was so helpful. I'm glad you decided to do this. I would really like to hear Ashley's story and a woman's point of view.

@cindihunter9119 Жыл бұрын

Yes! I remember when I took out my endowments, and "I was told at that time that, I was to covenant to my husband as he obeyed the Lord!" The sad part of this situation was that my husband knew what was going on and held it against me all through the marriage! He would tell me "that he was to rule over me in every way with every decision no matter what!" This caused him to be abusive in nature.. he always thought he knew what was best for me, and had no problem telling me so.. So basically I wasn't allowed to choose anything and if I did, it was basically my fault if it didn't turn out correctly! A horrible experience for sure! Yet the Mormon church does not speak of these things, won't own it, or apologize! This used to anger me quite a lot! It was then many years later that I learned they didn't know what the hell they were talking about! These teachings caused unsurmountable harm to me and my family! And still, The LDS church doesn't give a rat's tail about what happened!

@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Жыл бұрын

Who chose your husband, the church or you?

@cindihunter9119 Жыл бұрын

@@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt IMen did! Correct! Yet, I did not know anything about how the church worked... I'm a convert so, I just didn't know. I now am realizing the mistake I made- Men aren't supposed to rule over women, and make them do everything they want, I'd ask for help from my leaders and they told me to go home, and make a nice dinner...

@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Жыл бұрын

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22 Bible KJV). This isn't a Mormon doctrine. If anything the LDS faith has confirmed this "Christian belief" in the temple ceremony. This channel always trashes Spencer W Kimball (I doubt if they have even read the "Miracle of Forgiveness"). In the book SWK slams men who are like your ex-husband and narcissists in general. I haven't read the book in about 30 years but I do remember a story he tells of a man who was complaining to him about his wife not cleaning the house and doing all the chores. SWK rips the guy apart and tells him and the reader that they should be helping. You are going to find these type of people in all faiths. Men are free to choose how to interpret Ephesians or the LDS temple ceremony and how to treat people in general. This channel has a habit of blaming the LDS faith for inherited beliefs from Christianity. Most ex-Mormons especially the presenters are clueless with what other Christians believe and they have not spent enough time (studied) with other Christians to know if they are hearing Christianity or a unique Mormon belief. In a lot of cases their problem is with Christianity not with Mormonism.

@marcellacruser951 Жыл бұрын

@@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Nice use of a forked tongue... we see you.

@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Жыл бұрын

@@marcellacruser951 There are many more things to say to you, but you just can't bear it right now.

@cheekymonkey8789 Жыл бұрын

Yay!! I have been waiting for this one and knew it was just a matter of time. So happy for the Dashleys!! Thanks for sharing!!

@mintyfreshest Жыл бұрын

I'm never-mormon and have never considered the idea of someone who has already lost a loved one and that makes the drive to be worthy of the eternal family much more tangible than it would be for someone who hasn't lost anyone. Very powerful stuff. And I have seen my fair share of Mormon stories episodes and NEVER heard someone rattle off scripture like Dallin. Amazing insightful interview as always!

@susanmcclain759 Жыл бұрын

Never Mormon here….. I’ve become addicted to Mormon Stories. This one, I soooo enjoyed. Each one has helped me with my recovery from Catholicism. I was so angry when I realized the Church insulted our intelligence with some of its teachings. Listening to these experiences have revealed it’s not just one religion. Forgiveness, acceptance and Love. Thanks 😊

@peters6874 Жыл бұрын

this is crazy for me because i was there in columbus ohio when elder bednar was there. everything he is saying elder bednar said is absolutley true.

@rkn2800 Жыл бұрын

Thanks Dallin. Born and raised in the Church myself, served a mission, was very studious in the scriptures, and have been inactive for a couple decades now with lots of questions and doubts. I appreciate your story and relating your experiences very much. Of course I relate with everything you’ve said and have come to the same conclusions as you. Thanks MSP!

@geniereiman1089 Жыл бұрын

Thak you, Dallin for sharing your Morman story. I started watching your family during the Pandemic and have enjoyed getting to know your family. Although I have never been Morman, I, too, had a faith crisis in my church.

@intuitreptition8998 Жыл бұрын

I only was able to tune in for the last 20 or so minutes, wow. Total 100% agree and it fully encapsulates my thoughts. Make a good reel out of the last 10 minutes!

@kimberleepelletier8729 Жыл бұрын

Loved this episode with Dallin Seely. A very open and honest discussion

@alexcarbajal2940 Жыл бұрын

I want to thank you for all the explanations. I am not a Mormon but I am able to follow along because of the explanations. I find this very interesting. I respect both sides. Thank you.

@lisahwatt Жыл бұрын

Dallin, your story was so authentically told! Your humor is delightful- I am at work listening to this podcast using my earbuds, and several times I’ve laughed out loud (getting odd glances from my co-workers , lol). To John: as a non-Mormon who has done some research into the church through the years (that’s a story), I have so many questions from an ‘outsiders’ perspective. I’ve heard you mention a few times that almost half of your listeners are non-Mormons. I think it would be great to include one of us in a few of your podcasts, to ask questions from that perspective. I volunteer😊!

@user-kr7vf8tc4i 6 ай бұрын

Every now and then I treat myself to listening to one of these podcasts (after all they are long) - never been Mormon but love how people grow when they remove themselves from the strictures of religion. Keep up the good work.

@leahannewoods6170 Жыл бұрын

That’s a good description of how it feels to take mushrooms. I can imagine it’s more extreme for an ex Mormon to go through the separation of self and blending in with oneness aspect!

@madeleinesutherland1623 Жыл бұрын

"Patriarchal order"... "It doesn't make sense to have two CEOs in a company..." My company is run by two founder/CEOs and we're doing fine! The arguments people make to support patriarchal family structure quite often falter in the face of real world experience.

@salindariebow8175 Жыл бұрын

Please do a TikTok or short reel where he was talking about Elder Bednars comment that the GA's have not seen Jesus Christ!!! That is so hugely important. It cannot be overstated.

@roomiedoomie2364 Жыл бұрын

I don’t know if you will read these comments Dallin but I wanted to share my thoughts anyways. I have watched your KZfaq channel for years now. I have gained so much from you and Ashley sharing about your struggles and how you were working through them (especially on your podcast, Little Big Life with the Dashleys - the first podcast I ever listened to). It was happening at a time where although not religious struggles, I was having my own relationship hardships. You guys gave me so much language to look into about validation and things that you learned in therapy that I have applied to my life. It helped me to know what to ask for in my own relationship and the cultivate that with my partner. It helped me to get us into couples therapy ourselves and our relationship is also in so much better of a place now. Your vulnerability online helped me so much through hard times and for that I will always be grateful. I am also so glad to hear you have done shrooms. They truly are a a mind/world altering experience that is unlike anything else. The perspective that they can give you about life and your place in the universe is almost indescribable. I think you did a great job here explaining your experience and I absolutely understand what you are saying, and I’ve been there too. The growth that I have witnessed from a distance, seeing the little glimpses into your life that you share online, have been remarkable. I know that I don’t really know who you are, but even so, I have seen changes that I imagine are only the tip of the iceberg. I hope that you are proud of who you are, and who you continue to become. You seem to have so much more understanding, compassion, and love for yourself and others now than when you were very orthodox. Those traits you have grown in can be felt by your audience, and it’s a truly positive thing to put out into the world. I can only imagine the hardships of faith deconstruction, especially of such a high demand religion. You seem to be coming out of it as a better human being. Understanding the ways that your religion/views expressed by your religion sometimes negatively impacted people you came in contact with, and growing from the understanding you now have looking back on those interactions. (To be clear, everything was understandable given your beliefs at the time and there is no shame here, while also a lot of respect for having gone through such challenging growth). I’m so glad you came onto Mormon Stories as I have been hoping to hear more about your and Ashley’s religious journey (I am sad that she didn’t join, but it’s definitely understandable). That was long winded but I wanted to share my thoughts. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with the world.

@TheDashleys Жыл бұрын

❤❤❤❤

@Mon-Alisa 7 ай бұрын

This was such a great interview. I loved it! ❤

@dianethulin1700 Жыл бұрын

I’m so moved about your father; sorry! My sons father also died and you have the same birthday. I’ll be remembering you and your family. You are not alone! ❤️🙏

@mr.dales3rd-4thmath61 Жыл бұрын

This guy is hilarious! My favorite so far of the guests.

@ladams2134 Жыл бұрын

Great episode!!! Thank you John and Dallin !

@peanut8400 Жыл бұрын

Hi Dallin and Ashley. I have watched your vlogs since pre-George days and perceived some of the anxiety or tensions in your earlier year’s vlogs that you eluded to in this interview. I was not raised in the LDS but rather the IBL doctrines (which I stepped away from as an adult). Both are extremely patriarchal in teaching. I listened to your Q & A podcasts explaining your faith. Slowly I began to see more hesitancy to share your personal faith life. I began to wonder if you were still as stalwart to LDS or if you had begun questioning. I’m glad to see that you are no longer blindly following what “has always been”. Thank you for sharing this chapter of your journey.

@skyjust828 Жыл бұрын

When I was growing up (LDS) I distinctly remember in the song "I Am A Child of God" the last line was "teach me all that I should KNOW" not DO. When my uncle was trying to "un-apostate"(?) me the missionaries (2 young ladies) they sang that song with do out of 6 people I was the only one who sang "know" it FREAKED ME OUT 😯😯😯

@whitajeman Жыл бұрын

The algorithm is working for MS. I have been seeing content pop up from Dallin and his wife so it was cool to see this interview recommended.

@jillmcaboy7000 Жыл бұрын

Love the Dashly's. Great to hear their story.

@pamelawalker3317 Жыл бұрын

Dallin, I'm so sorry to hear the trauma you have gone thru from the Mormon teachings. I pray for your healing.

@lorijohnston7795 Жыл бұрын

This has helped me so much! He is so understated yet charismatic.

@mayakarlinsey6057 Жыл бұрын

I loved this episode. The personal growth is incredible. I love to see it.

@Synheath Жыл бұрын

So happy to hear you on this show Dal ❣️ I've been waiting for this story!

@susanm8214 Жыл бұрын

Great podcast! Love the Dashleys. Great job, Dallin. Love you even more. Keep up the good work.

@queenelizabeth8191 Жыл бұрын

Love dallin and Ashley ❤️ was really looking forward to this one

@lulubelle53 Жыл бұрын

This was so beautiful on so many levels........thank you!

@Greatbiggrandma Жыл бұрын

Family motto at our house-- Don’t Should on Yourself!!

@lisainthelab Жыл бұрын

Aww Dallin. I'm so sad to hear your experiences. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share. I've followed the Dashleys for a long time and it breaks my heart that you all went through these things. I'm very happy for you to be free now, but it's just so unfair that you all spent so much time believing such huge lies and shaming and all of it. These stories break my heart but make me even more grateful than ever that I grew up without any of this pressure, stress, and shame. It's just too much for people to handle, including children. I wish you all could go back and have a more carefree life. I do understand that it wasn't "all" bad, and that some of your growing up was normal, so I'm not trying to erase any of that. I just feel sad that everyone had to wrestle with all of that mental stress for no reason at all. It's just not fair. Love the Dashleys so much & appreciate you being so open & sharing your lives with us! You all are the sweetest & I wish you all the happiest future ever!

@b.thompson6141 3 ай бұрын

It is nice to hear about a human being going from strength to strength.

@AubreyJM Жыл бұрын

I've seen a few episodes of The Dashley's KZfaq channel. Super sweet family.

@TEAM__POSEID0N Жыл бұрын

I love that "The Emperor's New Clothes" moment that Dallin talks about at around the 1:00:00 point. I have this running theme in my mind that much of the faith of devout Mormonism is basically a real-life version of the story of The Emperor's New Clothes. A devout Mormon is taught to see things that aren't there or, the corollary of that, taught to not see what is really there. In both cases, not seeing what is really there is a virtue. Not seeing IS believing. As a result, it seems that most people who eventually lose faith do so as a result of one or more "The Emperor's New Clothes" moments. In the famous story, it's a little kid who blurts out that the Emperor is completely and unflatteringly naked, honestly seeing and observing what is really there, while all the adults are mentally busy pretending (to the full extent of their powers of imagination) that they can see the emperor wearing the most beautiful clothing ever, since the imperial authorities have instructed everyone that the clothing can be seen by virtuous people (and not by bad people). The little kid's honesty breaks the spell. The Book of Mormon is basically the same thing. Mormons are taught that virtuous people, righteous people -- people who are good enough to be inspired by the Holy Ghost -- can appreciate all the profound truths, wisdom and godliness of the Book of Mormon. The corollary is that people whose minds are mired in darkness and ignorance can't see the sacred beauty of the Book of Mormon. Mormons raised that way basically have mental blocks that prevent them from seeing how ridiculous, gory, illogical and gruesome the story of the beheading of Laban is. Instead, they just choose to focus on one passage from that story about how when God gives a commandment he prepares a way for it to be accomplished. In Dallin's case, the single mom was the equivalent of the kid blurting out that the emperor is naked. Up to that point (and with momentum probably for some time thereafter, even though "a seed was planted"), it would seem that Dallin's attitude of thinking that if something appears to be wrong with something in the religion, it's his responsibility to correct his perception in order to see it as being not wrong, instead of recognizing it as being actually wrong kept him under the spell for a while longer. (This is of course the attitude that most faithful, devout members have, which basically makes the church virtually infallible in their eyes...until they give themselves permission to NOT doubt their doubts in cases where doubts are objectively entirely reasonable.) I'm going to add this to my list of "The Emperor's New Clothes Moments in Mormonism". One of the first ones (kind of in reverse) is when Martin Harris had to be coached by Joseph Smith into seeing something that wasn't there (i.e. an angel and the golden plates), operating on the premise that he would only be able to see these things if he had sufficient faith, procured through humbling himself in prayer, and thereby became "worthy" of seeing the things that really weren't there.

@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Жыл бұрын

This is what Martin Harris said: “Do I believe it! Do you see the sun shining! Just as surely as the sun is shining on us and gives us light, and the [moon] and stars give us light by night, just as surely as the breath of life sustains us, so surely do I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God, chosen of God to open the last dispensation of the fulness of times; so surely do I know that the Book of Mormon was divinely translated. I saw the plates; I saw the Angel; I heard the voice of God. I know that the Book of Mormon is true and that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God. I might as well doubt my own existence as to doubt the divine authenticity of the Book of Mormon or the divine calling of Joseph Smith” (in William Harrison Homer, “The Passing of Martin Harris,” Improvement Era, Mar. 1926, 470).

@jackieaudus9829 Жыл бұрын

Lying for the Lord. Second anointing. Masonic rituals.

@lesliecardwell2653 Жыл бұрын

Oh my gosh .l I can’t wait .l I love the Dashlys!

@daylestevens50 7 ай бұрын

I love his delivery of his story and all the naive realizations! Lol. Great episode! And hugs and well wishes to your wife. ❤

@hasaheadachenow Жыл бұрын

Meditating is healing …your giving your mind a space to rest..and relax and your brain gets a little serenity blast.

@briancurry6008 Жыл бұрын

I love watching Dashley's productions and am so proud of Dallin for sharing so vulnerably! He and Ashley are such great parents and it's so good to see this too. ❤❤

@realmms Жыл бұрын

Turning off ones brain to make things make sense only works for so long

@VoteLeslieKnope Ай бұрын

I have so much respect and love for Dallin and Ashley and their family ❤️ thank you for sharing your story.

@alaskanjewel1 5 ай бұрын

This story has a lot of good laughs! Thanks for the authenticity!

@MelCarter000 Жыл бұрын

I’ve been following The Dashleys since shortly after they started their channel and immediately loved them. I didn’t know they were Mormans right away but when I found out I had hoped they would see the truth about Mormonism.