The need to be alone … constantly being accused of ghosting.

I get hooked on the same band and listen to their songs over and over. For years

I get misperceived a lot. When I was a kid I got blamed or punished, and wouldn't know what I had done wrong.

My husband just turned 70 and I'll be 70 in a few months. We have been watching your videos and we both meet 98% of the profile points for having high-masking autism. My husband is a diagnosed dyslexic with ADHD and I've been diagnosed with CPTSD and clinical depression. Neither of us are medicated for these conditions and we live a peaceful and quiet life together; we do not allow other people's drama to come into our lives nor do we have it in our marriage. Your videos have helped us both understand ourselves so much and why we've always felt like aliens in this world or that we missed getting the "operator's manual" everyone else seemed to have. My husband is far more social than I am and doesn't seem to have the anxiety I have always had to deal with as an introvert who needs a lot of alone and down time. At our age, there's really no need to get an "official" diagnosis of high-masking autism, but we are certainly helped immensely by your videos. Thank you and God Bless you.

I get misperceived so much. I’m a fawner, and a people-pleaser, and extremely hyper vigilant. I try so hard to help, that sometimes I miss that people don’t want help, they want to vent. And I try to relate, but people think I’m making it about myself. And I try to be participatory at work, to overcompensate for wanting to be alone. It comes across as too much. I know that because I constantly scrutinize and try to adjust but I can’t find the perfect balance. It’s so hard because I know most people don’t think about ANY of this-they simply are.

I was diagnosed ASD at 50 after being diagnosed with CPTSD in my 40s, which had been previously diagnosed as Bipolar, post-natal depression, generalised anxiety disorder, and adjustment disorder. The psychiatrist who assessed me and diagnosed me autistic said she was shocked that, given my almost constant therapy over my lifetime, nobody had suggested autism as a possibility because she said I was so obviously autistic. Now I’ve found out what that means and watched so many videos about it and especially late diagnosed women’s stories, it’s such a relief to know others share the experience of the debilitating struggles I’ve had all my life. It feels good to know all my quirks that I’ve been teased for all my life are common amongst other autistics! I truly thought it was just my unique weirdness 😂

When you listed skin picking as hidden stimming, I had a very strong reaction. I do that and I've been exploring whether I'm autistic lately.

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

"i kind of didn't really care what other people thought sometimes-on the outside-but of course i did on the inside." this sentence describes me perfectly.

The difficulty paying bills and scheduling doctor’s appointments!!! 😮 I’ve been castigating myself for these things for decades! Everything else in the video I relate to as well, but these two are so validating. The rage response to noises, like babies crying and alarms, trucks reversing beeping, tags and certain thread types in clothing…. On and on. I’m so grateful to you for this 🖤.

Understanding has most definitely "changed the way I look at my life," Dr. Sage. At sixty-eight, it is the finest experience and is freeing me from a lifetime of misunderstanding my own mind.

Holy hell the overthinking over feeling and over analyzing... Story of My Life. I'm 57 and fighting to overcome this

Thank you for shining a light on these issues. I have spent my whole life being told I have depression and anxiety. I have done courses, taken medication, had clinical hypnotherapy, all to try and help myself but it never has been enough, it still always felt like I was different, broken, unable to deal with so much but I just masked it my whole life. Finally over the last year or so I realised I have CPTSD and that I also have high masking autism, I believe all my mental health problems stem from trying to live in a world, for 51 years, that was not accommodating to my neurodiverse brain, hence anxiety, depression, CPTSD. All the traits are so identifiable to me and it's so emotional and a relief to finally know why life has been so hard and traumatising. Thank you for helping me find my way at last. I finally feel a sense of peace with myself, I am not fighting myself continuously or beating myself up anymore as I now understand why I struggle with some things. 🙏

I recently learned about the "T-rex" autism arm position. A memory that suddenly came back to me that I used to do that in elementary school and got made fun of, so I forced myself to stop. And suddenly, everything makes sense. Extreme people pleasing, even to the point of putting myself in danger without immediately realizing it. The strong sense of justice. Sounds, lights, and senses bothering me. I can't stand unnatural air hitting me, plus the sound. Clutter building, but also bothering me. As a young child, I was really quiet, cuz I didn't understand other people, like how and what to communicate. Uncontrollable pore picking. Ability to see fine details others do not and repeating until perfection leading to the ability for art. Having one parking spot or seat I always go for, etc. I had no idea this whole time.

Physical exercise, but only done exactly right, is like a reset switch to me for at least 24 hours. Nothing else works even remotely as good.

I've always known I'm weird, and my kids even accused me of being autistic, but I felt offended by the idea of "labeling" myself, so I just ignored the idea. Until this past year. I become more and more convinced, the more research I do, that my kids were right and I am neurodivergent.

the colors on your set are so calming

I know this video is mostly geared towards autistic females, assumed from the titles of your other videos, but I do feel I very strongly match with all 10 points you have given. I have looked up a lot of information about autism, and found high masking male autism can often look like female autism. Often some of the point are made with only the context of lesser masked autism so I often do not fully relate to the examples. This video really is an exception and showed me how I can interpret some of the major factors in autism signs. Outside of the points the avoidance of conflict and self silence is something I do a LOT. Mostly because my brain gets too stressed from speaking in conflict situations and I don`t want to shut down, or appear ‘aggressive’ when in a discussion/conflict. So it feel avoiding it altogether is the best option. 1. There is no doubt I`m socially anxious, or that I have self affirming anxiety. Don`t have have to give examples. One of the points I have always recognized when looking at autism signs. 2. Being socially different is also something that has always, even before I knew about autism, been clear to me. I never really was a regular teen or young adult in the things I wanted to do. And that drifted me away from the friends I did have at the time. This is mostly related to social situations young people take part in like parties. And it goes beyond just being introverted. 3. Sensory issues is one that I feel less connected with however the way you presented it does give me a couple of examples. Like smells that can really bother me. Or that I smell something while others do not. I also get very overstimulated when my children have other kids playing over that make playful sounds that I`m not used to. I don`t know if it is the sound itself, or that it is because the sound is normally not there. People that touch me has always been a problem. 4. The executive function struggles have also been hard for me to see in myself. But just the explanation of being able to do the things seemingly like other people would but it just costing you so much more energy, and being frustrated because you do not understand why it is costing you so much more energy than other people, sounds really like me. I never really had employment problems. 5. My stims are not very obvious and I also hide certain behaviors when other people are around. But I almost always have a pen in my mouth, as a child I always had my shirts or strings on the shirts in my mouth. I have a keycard for work and I very often click it lose and put it back in in a very repetitive style. At social gathering I always make sure to have a bottle or glass so I can touch the edges or peel off the stickers. 6. Overthinking, overanalysing, inner monologue and insomnia are just straight up yesses. With capital letters and no examples needed. 7. I shutdown a lot, but have learned to push them forward so I don`t really have them at work. Meltdowns in the traditional sense. I can only think of 2 or 3 times in the past 3-5 years. 8. I am also very hyper vigilant. Every sound or event can have multiple bad consequences in my mind as soon as I hear them. Both in social situations as in walking down the stairs and seeing myself (or others) falling for example. All little movies that play in my mind as the day happens. 9. Routines and repetition is less obvious but I do have some examples. Since I was a child I had a green toothbrush but when my son was around 3 he wanted a green toothbrush and my wife got me a blue toothbrush (we all always have different colors so we know who’s it is). It bothered me so so so much to not have my color. Because I always had green. I understood logically that it should not bother me so much. He was 3. But it did. It bothered me every single day until we switched back. For me it is mostly when other people make it so that something I always do a certain way is changed, but I can quite easily change an existing way of doing things when it is my own idea. 10. Intimacy and touch can be a problem. Before my wife I had tried to start a relationship with girls but it never worked out. I always stopped the relationship when things started to get physical. With my wife it never felt difficult. But when she for example comes up behind me and hugs me my initial reaction is to pull away but luckily my brain figures out quickly enough it is her so I almost never actually do it. After I told her about this she always tells me she is going to hug me when she wants to. I hate being touched by other people. But I almost never tell anyone this because I know it will be viewed as weird. So I just ‘struggle’ through it. I really like being alone, a great exception to this is my wife. She can (almost) always be with me without it bothering me. This is less so with my kids. I like being around them. But can be really bothered by them when I am doing something. I feel really really bad about feeling this. And I always try to not let them notice it. Because I really love them and I don`t want them to think otherwise. I also recognize being misperceived or misunderstood. I often have opinions I can back up with facts. But often people think of me as a bad person for doing this. As they view the subjects from a point of compassion or feelings. They tell me I`m a bad person for thinking about this purely from facts, but I know I`m not a bad person. Sorry for the big long text. I will be surprised if anyone actually reaches the end after reading the whole thing.

I'm also an empath, and I believe it's rooted in trauma.

I have Autism, ptsd and adhd and boy as it been difficult over the last 40years in every way. But i am still here. There have been times when i have questioned my existence

I found out Tuesday I'm autistic. I'm 64, trying to reach out to others, and now that I know, I find myself still sitting by the phone. My world has been shattered. I don't know who I am, or was, and this path of discovery is unwelcome.

I was generally happier and more easy going before puberty.

I'm gonna try and list the points: First of all, in all aspects: assume camouflaging (5:22) • 6:53 HSP/empath kinda person with possibly a list of mental health issues, but it always feels like *something is still missing* • 8:58 Chronic Social Issues (not quite fitting in, low social battery, etc.) • 10:31 (unrecognized) strong sensory issues • 12:06 (hidden/compensated) executive functioning difficulties • 13:40 stimming behaviours • 14:26 overthink/overfeel/overanalyze all.the.time. • 15:29 meltdowns/shutdowns/burnout due to dysregulation • 16:14 chronic hypervigilance (scanning your surroundings always) • 17:32 routines & repetition as a sense of security • 17:32 managing human physical interactions (intimacy / self-isolating)

Found out in the last 6-8 months that I'm autistic and I'm honestly in denial even though it makes 100% sense. People have tried to diagnose me with depression, bipolar, ocd, sensory issues etc etc. But I learned to read before I was 3, I have hyperlexia. I "neglect" a lot of things in my life. I have tons of special interests and forget to tend to my relationships sometimes. I had to learn to advocate for myself throughout my life. Sensory issues my entire life. Lights, fans, sounds, textures. Sometimes I will have to repeat things 10-100x before I'm sick of it. I have specific routines I need to keep myself in check and if I don't take care of myself I will snap. The rage with certain noises - but then before autism awareness I just kept telling myself I needed to practice "tolerance" and stop controlling others (which are still great skills) I mask so much and always have my entire life. Your videos help a lot. I'm still embracing/grieving this diagnosis because I think I judge the community. And that's something for me to reflect on.

Late diagnosed at 52 .. Autistically researched for last 2 years. Thank you Kim. Can say this is the most comprehensive and accurate description of my experience I have come across. Would recommend this video to anyone investigating whether they may be autistic or researching post late diagnosis. 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Love your extended deep dive into this topic lately. Your curiosity, openness, & the possible connections you are seeing are of very great value to many of us. Thank you ❤🙏

Dr. Kim! I so appreciate your videos, this one especially so. Can relate to all of it! Thank you for your research, insight, framing, even your open questions regarding these related issues during the past many months. I am 60(!) and have found your content to be such a healing salve to my overworked, overmasked soul. And your vulnerability/transparency informs and enriches all of it. Blessings to you❤

Diagnosed at 44, shortly after my son was. Thank you for this video, I so get all of this, and it's so nice to know it's not just another one of my failings :)

You’re describing me to a tea. 100%. So I know I have adhd but am I autistic also❓❓. My executive function is non existent. I took a premature retirement which has increased my awareness of everything about me which has been so revealing and I’m learning even more about me. The only thing I don’t have is Stimming. I research EVERYTHING to see what I don’t know to learn to be more functional. For example I’ve had digestive problems forever. I’ve had very bad esophageal reflux. It got worse where I was vomiting bile at least once or twice a month. I went to my gastroenterologist & he put me on a PPI. I’ve read alot on PPIs and decided I’m going to find a natural alternative. I read and watched here on YT many functional drs about herbs and supplements. I’ve taken digestive enzymes as needed & they worked for some time. I take magnesium citrate every morning also which also helps. Long story short Researching autism I know they always have digestive issues which I also found out that if we are possibly insulin resistant (not diabetic) but all of this involves gut health which is associated also with depression. After reading and listening to many sources I found out about BERBERINE. I started on one per day 300mg & I’ve been on this for only a week and it has been a Godsend. Not only has my reflux stopped but it has lifted my depression and stopped my fatigue which I was experiencing also. It has helped my motility in my intestines also. This supplement is recommended for glucose regulation. I’m hoping after taking this supplement for much longer time down the road my depression will be cured. If I can rid myself of my depression maybe then I will be motivated to work on my executive function. My place is so disorganized. Papers and books everywhere. I can’t keep up with bills or cleaning or anything. So overwhelmed. I couldn’t have anyone come into my apartment whatsoever. It would be so Embarrassing. Ty KIM so much . I’ve learned so much from you & evertime I listen to you you’re describing every detail of what describes me. PLS give me ur thoughts on what I’ve shared here. I need feedback. I’M SO SORRY I WENT ON THIS LONG BUT I THOUGHT U WOULD BE THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD GET WHAT IVE SHARED. Ty u again .

Wow yet again you have nailed what I went through as a child and how it has shaped who I am now! While I have known it for a long time, to hear someone else explain it and have experienced it too is so helpful!

Congratulations on completing your course: it sounds epically packed with lots of value as your content always is 🙏To have those chronically misunderstood experiences leading to punishment is one of the most surreal experiences especially pre-discovery(of Autism)...the intense emotions that follow are always triggered with the next experience and never understanding what are the causes or if indeed; it was deserved somehow ☀

I keep finding these awesome channels. You understand me and that is just amazing. I never knew all of you were out there, just like me. It's not just an umbrella understanding and suspicion that I've been living for decades undiagnosed. It's all the little things I hear you and other creators on the spectrum that make my jaw hit the floor at knowing I'm not alone anymore! When you talked about walking up to use the restroom, when I do the same I try to keep my eyes closed so as not to minimize the tsunami waves of thoughts that invade my head, stress me out and grow like dirty snowballs. Thank you for putting yourself out there and helping other adults like me that until now, just thought I was a misfit. ASD never dawned on me until the last few weeks. Mind blown!

Dr. Kim, thank you for explaining all those details with personal experience and how everything connects together.

Yes, I relate so much. I’m 44 and going through so much. Thank you so much for all you do!

Thanks Dr Kim! Yes the puzzle pieces are finally fitting together for me!

Wow! At 61, I am so glad/happy to track this journey with you. Super freeing. So very grateful for this lens/understanding.

You are such a brave and generous person. I relate such a lot to the things you share. I feel less alone because of this. Thank you .

Thank you so much for sharing. This is eye opening and is especially important to our healing journey, especially during the second half of life. I can relate to almost all of what you explained. I also need to give myself more grace. I am new to your channel and I am so glad that I found you! Thank you for all you do!

Dr. Kim - Your video about C-PTSD leading to autism has literally changed my life. I brought it up to my therapist 6 months ago and she got a big smile on her face. Reason being that she suspected that I was autistic but still was not sure if that would trigger me to learn. I am still not formally diagnosed mostly out of fear of being told I’m NOT autistic. Because as you said it validates so much for me. Since then Autism and neurodivergence have totally become a special interest. In the past 4 months I’ve gone from being on a Neurodiversity committee at work to being on the verge on starting a company wide neurodiversity program. I guess that’s what happens when you align a persons job duties with their special interests!!! Thank you so much Kim.

Dr. Sage, I wish there was a way to communicate with you one on one. You are describing and my experiences in this video. Things from my past are making so much sense. I’ve always chalked it up to depression but it’s so much more.

Wow, this video really hit home. As a late diagnosed adult with autism, everything you said is spot on. Just wow!

Finding Dr. Sage's work is life changing, especially the personal authenticity. Looking at a lifetime of ADHD but not knowing about high masking autism traits, it's been like half way knowing how to thrive. I am so looking forward to her books.

Thank you so much for this video. The part about experiences not matching up with the feedback really got to me.

This video. I subscribed & I am saving this video to show my behavioral health physician. I am disgnosed with inattentive ADHD, but I feel like there's more to it. You've mentioneed every single thing I've struggled with all my life and I feel like this just reassures me that I am not crazy. Thank you so much for this video.

THANK YOU!!!! I am finally understanding myself and this post is the best explanation I have heard thus far!!!!

Thank you for your continued education on this subject. Having recently assumed a new living situation, and sharing common spaces with folks whose lifestyle is wholly different, my routine has been heavily displaced, causing shockwaves of frustration in my being. For instance, not being able to create meals and lazily eat them in silence. And feeling as if my habits are being inventoried by those same others.

Thank you for all of your hard work and sharing so much information.

Thank you for this. Theres been times that people have thought i wasn't being nice way back in my past & i didn't understand why. From your last part in this video, it really resonates in the reason why they might have thought that. Thank you ❤

You’re a very good person , and your videos have been so helpful , and thank you for sharing that little personal story, I can relate to it and I’m sure many others can also, this is a journey of healing and growth , take care

I'm realising how misperceived I have been throughout my life - I've only just done my ASD assessment at 51 but this video explains me perfectly

51 years old-I can relate to every single thing you said. Thank you for your work, bringing this to light, when it seems few doctors even know these things.

Thank you so much for talking about this. I am a late autistic with ADHD. My life experience flowed into CPTSD, PMDD to moving through my life changes into my mid fifties. All this complexity and therapy brought me to my testing and diagnosis. I connect so much with what you are describing. ❤

I'm 56 years old as well ...and everything you described in this video hit the nail on the head; was On Point for me. It ALL makes sense as to my issues, being misunderstood etc.

This is incredible, I really relate to alot of this! Thank you so much for making this video ❤

Wow. I've only begun to consider ASD for myself and a few of these were so absolutely real to me - particularly the "shy". You just quoted the conversation I was having to myself after repeating the word "discrete" over and over in various parts of my mouth. I had to get it "just right" and it felt so good when I finally placed the "d" exactly on the part of the palate where I wanted it, with the spacing between the syllables just right, the "c" "r" "t" just where they needed to be, etc. Very satisfying. And I've always been that way with names. Couldn't tell a story (I was the family story-teller on long car rides} until I'd spent about 20 minutes on the characters' names, which needed to sound and feel exactly right for them. Drove my younger siblings crazy because they couldn't care less what the characters were called. Several others of these, but you just stole every word out of my mouth today as you described this!!!

I’ve only listened to the very beginning and right off the bat you answer or talk about the question that I have been asking everyone!!!

Late diagnosed at 38 yrs old. Also realized my masking for high performance was my overcompensation.. straight As and leader in every circle / sport / job… later became an entrepreneur small business owner so I could excel but have a start/stop flexibility that I REQUIRE for work load.

I feel like u hit the nail on the head with describing the experiences 😢

So good! Very helpful. Appreciate this, you. 🙏🏼💕☺️

Thank you so much for this. You explain it all so well. Yes, there was the trauma(s) but there is something else .. I'll be thinking about this.

NEVER have I heard anyone describe me as you did in this video. At age 40, I was clinically diagnosed with ADHD, which came as a shock and relief. That was never on my radar. NOW, I am hearing you speak on Autism, and you described me 100% so now I am nervous (but fascinated and interested). At the end you said the light bulb went off, but for me it just came ON. 😳 Thank you so much for your video!

It’s so refreshing to hear ME and all my “ticks” ….. I’ve had HAVE it all, been told it all and taken all the meds at one point or another! Now I self soothe whatever way I feel like!! You have a new subscriber!! ❤

This sounds exactly like my experience 💯✨❤️ thank you so much for making this! It’s just so wild how much this all maps up to my life perfectly… my family does not think I could be autistic and think I’m being ignorant or attention seeking for even considering it. They kinda shut me down so I’m not supposed to talk about it I guess.

Great video Kim. ❤

Thank you so much for this video. Any time ive worked up the courage to try to talk about the possibility of Autistic diagnosis, they tell me that its just adhd and complex trauma. I've never heard anyone talk about trauma and Autism. You gave me so many words that i couldn't find...thank you

THIS VIDEO!!!! I can’t tell you how much I can relate to this!!! My mind is blown!!!! Please know you are NOT alone.

Well done Dr Kim, very well done

Another excellent video, Kim. The more I watch the more I learn and the better I understand (and love) the women in my life with autism. I’ve also learned that the Enneagram four type tends to exacerbate many of the issues you cover in late diagnosed autism.

Thank you for highlighting practical solutions first, I’m self diagnosed and have had an improvement to my own quality of life in subsequent years. The internal experience can only be reported not directly transferred. We rarely question people who self diagnose depression or anxiety, yet when it comes to high functioning autism there’s stigma around self diagnosis. I don’t need validation to know my lived in experience is extreme for me. Dust from a box sending me into a conniption, closing my ears to avoid shopping cart sounds or vacuums, sensitivity to smells no matter how subtle. On and on. I can type for days. This isn’t to denigrate trained professionals, but instead to highlight the validity of people’s experiences, independent of the conformity to the (often flawed) zeitgeist.

Subscibed! Really enjoyed your video. I am not professionally diagnosed with ASD...but I diagnosdd myself at 58. I relate to you so much!

This is the third video of yours I've watched today. You touch on so many things I've recently been able to acknowledge as I'm not crazy I'm sensitive or possibly autistic. I just want to say this, I want to send out love and hugs to everyone and anyone who experiences these sensitivities and has been shamed, mistreated, disrspected, and otherwise dismissed. I'm curious, Dr Kim, if you can talk about parallel play. The way the children interact in early development before they have the communication skills, they play side by side. I used to teach early childhood children, one of the children I thought was later diagnosed with autism. This was over 10 years ago so there wasn't a lot of awareness in the small child care center I worked in. It was even a college However, what I find to be fascinating is with KZfaq's development, it helps me find resources like your channel to invoke deeper thought. But the way that you explain it is a way that I understand it. I wonder what the correlation is between parallel play with the developmental years and autism. I think it would be interesting if you did a video on that. Or touched on it in your videos. I wonder because I find myself sometimes in situations where I can sit in the same room quietly not talking, with my autistic teenage son. We both enjoy quiet. We both enjoy delving deep into our passions. And we both provide a safe space for us to do that so long as we respect each other's space. As a mom, I'm definitely grateful I can give that to him. As a curious brain I'd like to hear your opinion as an expert.

Gosh, I've always been the person you're describing, Dr. Kim. I do have CPTSD (abusive childhood) and PTSD (I survived brutal gang rape as a teenager) but I've always felt weird and forced to engage all of my energy to just fit in. At 48 I avoid people as much as physically possible. I have anxiety 24/7, terrible allergies to synthetic scents and many many food allergies. I have social phobia, can't put on masks any more so I avoid people, I hate certain sounds, bright light, I suffer from severe migraines,IBS, perfectionism, and I still live with my narcissistic mother (I tried to run away many a time but she cut my limbs off emotionally decades ago so I always came back) who is the main source of my CPTSD. I hope to have the courage, money and physical health to leave this God forsaken house of horrors and the country that I hate next year when my son graduates high school. I barely function at this point, my profession is basically dying (machines are taking over translating jobs) so I feel like a failure and completely unemployable at my age, but since hope dies last, I still hope I can change my life and start from scratch.

Blessings to you Dr. Kim. I’m a clinical psychologist working in a neuropsychological “medical” practice/clinic. My sons are 19 (in Ivy League college) and 21 ( entering last year in neuroscience studying clinical application of mindfulness). After 22 years of marriage I divorced their dad 5 years ago. In the past 5 years my boys and I have identified as neurodivergent and have bonded deeply with autism spectrum vocabulary. They just got home for the summer from college and I look forward to watching this video with them. Thank you for giving voice to my plight in life that resonates with yours. High “Masking” “eggshell parents” “hyper vigilance “ “empath” high functioning persona “mismatched” with true self. I hear you and love your leadership. Great Job Dr. Kim! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 … now the follow through… taking your plethora of courses. Fingers crossed I will. Wondering if you offer CEUs for any of your classes?

I just want to say that after watching this video, I cannot believe that I haven’t been diagnosed with autism much sooner in life. I now understand myself and why I am the way I am in a much better way and I feel a sense of relief in a way that I can work on getting the help I’ve needed my entire life (45 years old)!! I relate to all of these mentioned, but six of them are HUGE factors in my life. I hope and pray that I can find the right therapist and psychiatrist to finally help me with all of these and help me get a better understanding of how to cope with the major ones that drastically affect my life to a point where I’ve shut down to everyone and everything around me, causing life altering hardships. Thank you for your videos and helping so many, including myself, get a better perspective and understanding of why each of us are the way we’ve been our whole lives. And thank you for your dedication to bringing awareness to light for so many that didn’t stand a chance at being made aware due to our lack of knowledge causing the inability to look for the help we truly need. I hope all of that makes sense.

Thank you for your work. Watching this video helped me to have a good conversation about communication with me boss.

My productivity is so strange. Occasionally I get everything working really well. I get into flow and get the things done I set out to do. Then if there is a disruption, like a get a cold or something, it’s sometimes so bad it’s like I have to mentally start from scratch again. I hide my EF issues from everyone. This is my biggest masking area.

Every bit of this video was very helpful & informative. Thank you

Good stuff - Thank you Dr. Sage, sean

So much good stuff to be found in healing through movement I am finding. ❤

Thanks, Kim. Recently divorced in a foreign country, alone, got through my first surgery-ever, lost my mother in the USA, last relative and dealing with hardship at 61, has not been a picnic. All of the aforementioned has broken down my internal regulating system, perspective loss and inner-subjective. I believe that my ex was also on the spectrum, but higher functioning-well, with the help of his family. There were traits of NPD, perhaps in both of us or I am simply questioning myself. Either way, I can see how so many misunderstandings can be made between couples and people in general with AUT-Spec. mislabeling, etc. Early childhood behaviors and AUT tendencies were more pronounced in me. I've worked my way down to chewing all the skin off my thumbs and anxious mooring to very repetitive rituals. Being alone has been a double-edged sword, I'm not a very good mirror for myself, cracked by chronic situational anxiety. I'm searching for help, but I am terrified of prescribers, under-educated psychologists, psychiatrists who are too lazy to do more than write out an Rx.

The more I watch these videos, the more I feel that I fit the bill. Currently healing from working too much which actually physically hurt me. We’ll check out your course and see if it’s something I could work on while healing. Thank you. 🙏

“Literally dreading every social thing I plan” Omg yes this is me. I remember from An early age not really getting much out of social interactions - I needed a board game or activity to keep my mind busy around friends. When I hit my 20s I used alcohol and drugs to give me the social boost I needed to go out either friends on the weekend and they worked. I noticed when I hit the age of 30 though that the entire social experience just felt like 98% work and 2% reward. Alcohol didn’t work anymore so I did force myself out a few times only to want to go back home after an hour. Then I’d have friends begging me to stay out later and guilt tripping me into going out the next night .. uggh this is all just frustrating and exhausting to me so I just isolated more and more into my 30s. I have yet to meet someone that truly understands my social boundaries and needs. Tbh the thought of trying to create a new friendship from scratch is beyond daunting . I don’t think it’s even possible at this point I have never been able to enjoy small talk either. It’s mind numbing and soul sucking

Thank you for sharing never would of thought of this but makes sense..

I was diagnosed with ADD in the late 90’s at age 25. But after this video, I think I may have autism because I fit these descriptions 90%. Now my life makes sense. Thank you for your dedication to explaining the symptoms ❤

Thanks very much Dr Kim for sharing this knowledge and insights. I will definetaly watch many more videos from you. You describe my mum… Since just turning 20 and her to early death I have been on an inner journy and long effortful research process of understanding her issues. I have myself been on to this puzzelpiece some while. Feel strongly this video acknowledged this as the sec last puzzlepiece I needed to understand her as good as I always felt a need to do. Feel relieved and kind of touched by your videomessage. I know surely there are trauma/traumas but no clue yet what it was about. I might crack it or I might not. Still this video made a huge thing for me. I will for sure look out many more videos from you ❤

Thank you for validating my experinences. I am late diagnosed hogh masking autistic woman ❤ you described my whole life

Thank you Dr Sage. I love your channel 😊

You articulate what i couldn’t for so so so many years ❤

Thank you Dr Sage😊

Thank you for the video. I struggled to pay attention to this because im just at one of those points were i cant get my brain to stop overthinking everything. Think i better watch it again.

Wow! Why couldn't SOMEONE (especially one of the many mental health professionals) have clued me in to this before my 45th year. This was astoundingly descriptive of my experience. Thanks for making this. I'm going to go ahead and check out the next video as well. Thank you

30 seconds into the video. Your voice is so calming. 🥰

Insightful ❤ Thank you!

So many things fit me. It was eye opening and thought provoking.

Your work is so helpful to me. 54 managing what I feel is autism. Didn't really have a clue till recently. Elderly mother lives on my property. 82 and realising she is adhd. She has been tricky over the years. I've spent my whole life trying to cope. Did okay for what I had on my plate but I'm exhausted now. Lots of childhood trauma and family rejection to this day. Felt like I parented both of my parents. Your work gives me rest to say I'm doing my best. Time for me. Thank you.

So many bells ring! Thank you!! (Hey, I missed seeing the beautiful cat in the background xx)

When you talked about the overwhelm of Disney and not understanding it at the time, it reminded me of my experiences in high school in which I would get uncomfortable, somewhat depressed, but more just unwilling to even talk to my friends. It wasn't until the last couple years I understood the idea of a "social battery" I love being social- until I don't... and it's not really a thing I can explain to neurotypicals. I was diagnosed ADHD as a kid, but didn't really do much about it cause Ritalin just made it worse. But now, I've been more properly diagnosed as both ADHD and ASD... (and depression, and anxiety). As a little kid I had to hide from the vacuum, as a teen I grew comforted by a thankfully less loud one. Just learning about my brain has explained so many things about myself I never fully understood, even about the adhd I already knew about, nobody told me about executive dysfunction, I had to learn that from my own research...

Thank you for this video. I am not diagnosed, neither as autism spectrum nor as ADHD, but I've also never even attempted to discuss either with a doctor (frankly, I've been apprehensive about discussing psychological or cognitive matters with physicians, aside from the chronic insomnia that lead to my original depression diagnosis in my early 20s; they haven't historically inspired a sense of trust and confidence in me WRT to such discussions). I do, however, identify with every point brought up except #9 (I don't depend on routine; looking back, my adult life has frequently not provided much support for depending on routine for self-regulation, so maybe it just hasn't been a realistic option for me). I've wondered for quite a while if I fall on the autism spectrum. And, of course, I've had Imposter Syndrome related apprehensions related to allowing that possibility. But the more I hear from actual diagnosed (or otherwise knowledgeable) folks about the symptoms, the more convinced I become that I am at least some flavor of neurodivergent. Whatever my situation may be in a clinical sense, I have most certainly been heavily masking and otherwise coping my whole life, and I've gotten very, very good at it, so good that others around me (to the extent there still are any; I relate hard to the lost relationships symptom) almost certainly don't notice any struggle, probably wouldn't really understand if I tried to tell them, and would likely be incredulous even if I had a legitimate diagnosis and shared that with them. I also have struggled so, so much with employment, including right now (unemployed for nearly two years; not the first long bout of unemployment for me, either; more like the fourth or something), so I don't have access to medical insurance, and certainly can't afford to seek a diagnosis without it. Anyway, thanks again for the insightful descriptions. I relate strongly to nearly all of them (and at least weakly to the remaining one).

Thank you, this is exactly what i'm going through right now. The last piece of the puzzle....and then i come across your video 😊 Thank you, if i had any doubts, it's over now 😁❤🙏🏻

Thank you so so much ❤this describes all my weirdness & all diseases and friendship & family issues 😮