Editing YOUR College Essays | This Essay Will CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Рет қаралды 11,688

Күн бұрын

Today, I'll be explaining how the same essay at draft 3 went from being good (7/10) to EXCEPTIONAL in draft 8 (9/10). Be sure to watch all the way through because the second essay will for real change your life.
Thanks so much for trusting me with your work! If you're curious to know when we'll be doing something like this again, be sure to SUBSCRIBE and keep an eye out on our community posts where we announce (which is where we announce when we'll be doing free edits again!)
Time Stamps
0:00 Are you ready
1:28 Draft 3
11:13 Draft 8
#collegeadmissions #ivyleague #yale #yaleuniversity #commonapplication
#howtogetintotheivyleague #elevatedschool #kevinzhen #kevinzhensei #jeffreyyu #collegeessay #collegeessaytips #collegeessayhack #commonapp #applyingtocollege #collegeapps #collegeapplications
ABOUT US
Hi! We're Kevin and Jeffrey, two Yalies who want to help you get into your dream school!
About Kevin Zhen: Exeter '16, Yale '20 (East Asian Studies)
Since 2016, Kevin has personally helped more than 50+ students gain acceptances into every Ivy League University, as well as top tech schools such as Stanford and Georgia Tech. He also loves teaching creative nonfiction, flash fiction and poetry. In total, his students have won more than 120+ Scholastic Writing awards.
About Jeffrey Yu: Yale '23 (Computer Science and East Asian Studies)
Jeff is a senior at Yale double majoring in Computer Science and East Asian Studies with a concentration on China. His college admissions essay was featured in the New York Times, and he specializes in essay writing, college admissions strategy, and life coaching. He has served as a Student Ambassador to the Yale Admissions Office, written extensively about college admissions on Quora and has taught courses on motivation, passion, and leadership while sponsored by the US Embassy in Tokyo.
LINKS
Website ► www.elevated.school
MORE CONTENT
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MUSIC CREDITS
♪ Affogato (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - affogato (r...
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♪ Bake a Pie (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - bake a pie ...
♪ Branch (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • (no copyright music) c...
♪ Butter (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - butter (roy...
♪ Chocolate (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • (no copyright music) l...
♪ Highball (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - highball (r...
♪ Home (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - home (royal...
♪ Imagine (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • (no copyright music) c...
♪ River (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • (no copyright music) c...
♪ Rose (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - rose (royal...
♪ Travel (Prod. by Lukrembo) ► Link : • lukrembo - rose (royal...

Пікірлер: 81

@elevatedschool 7 ай бұрын

For the next two weeks (until 11/1/23), we’ll be giving 2 of the commenters on THIS video FREE access to our 7.5 hour Essay Writing Masterclass! To qualify, all you have to do is like and reply to this comment with something you learned from this video :) FYI normally, the course is $200-- if you guys think this content is good, that course will blow your mind!

@AnhTran-cq6kp 7 ай бұрын

Something I learned from this video is that for a problem-solution essay, to make sure the solution is portrayed more than the problem! Thank you for making these videos, I really enjoy them and learn a lot for my own essays.

@ovidiugangalic7163 7 ай бұрын

It was a really nice video, I didn't expect that starting with a quote was not recommended and I didn't expect the first draft to be a 3, I now understand I need to work a lot on my essay

@Zvpyu 7 ай бұрын

avoid quotes as ur starting sentence, and problem-solution ratio should be more solution based

@krithinb4788 7 ай бұрын

Great video! I learned a lot about structure for problem-solution and specific verbs to make an essay truly exemplary.

@Taran_K 7 ай бұрын

I was honestly impressed how such a compelling story was fit into 650 words. I learned more about the problem solution ratio and how paragraphs should be split up.

@zionw1837 7 ай бұрын

Howwww do ppl write like this I feel like my essay is trash

@ayomide7931 4 ай бұрын

fr tho

@hunterdhruv2992 7 ай бұрын

Thanks for the info mate! I really hope i can crush this essay.

@arnavsinha5190 7 ай бұрын

Thank you so much! Having written tons of drafts without making much progress myself, I found that very helpful!

@shoutotodoroki4047 7 ай бұрын

I really love your videos! Thank you very much for such videos. Just recently my mentor told me that my essay was really bad, so now I have to rewrite it. Your videos are really being helpful;

@ovidiugangalic7163 7 ай бұрын

Can't wait for a new break dance, very interesting insights on the essay and how it went to extending outside helping his mom

@bunnygirlsenpai4703 5 ай бұрын

I can't even express how much I appreciate you T.T tysm

@robzzz8046 7 ай бұрын

Definitely the structural elements in terms of parallel structure and the concision that was implemented to elevate the essay

@mihikas5960 7 ай бұрын

Thank you this was incredible!

@KalebAklilu 7 ай бұрын

Top quality video, you earned my sub.

@Sailor-boat 6 ай бұрын

Flow of the essay through use of literary elements has really elevated! Wow! Unsure if I will receive your help, but, as this video by it self, this video helps enough :)

@tanmayee3066 6 ай бұрын

Realizing that using varying syntax (such as parenthesis) throughout an essay can help vary your sentences and make it more interesting to the reader while allowing you to add more snippets of your character. This video was rlly informative and has definitely been helping me with my college admissions process :)

@aileenhdez3433 7 ай бұрын

Hi Kevin! Another helpful & insightful review of a Common App essay:) If possible, would you be able to read/rate a narrative-like essay rather than a problem-solution essay? Although every essay you've reviewed so far has helped me with my own essay, mine is less problem-focused and more a "story-telling" of what I think best describes me.

@MechidPodcast 7 ай бұрын

Both the essay and the dance were top!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@aadikhops_11 6 ай бұрын

This is such an underrated KZfaq channel. I hope y'all reach more people because I'm sure it will benefit them immensely.

@elevatedschool 6 ай бұрын

Thank you! This made my day! :)

@Isaac_duek 6 ай бұрын

Thank you, your videos help a ton!

@elevatedschool 6 ай бұрын

Glad you like them Isaac!

@nyingngum7943 7 ай бұрын

Oh my! I love your reviews, Kevin. Thank you so much for your work. Whenever I type the link for the website you said we could use to submit our essays for review, it always shows error in my browser. I wish to ask if its possible for international students like me to submit our essays for review

@elevatedschool 7 ай бұрын

It should work if you go to www.elevated.school/editmyessay