How Not To Marry Mr Wickham | Scoundrels & Constructing Reality in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice

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Күн бұрын

How can you tell if someone is secretly a scoundrel? Well in this video, we analyze Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice to learn three helpful tips in identifying the Wickhams of the world. We also look at Austen’s other books like Emma, Northanger Abbey, Persuasion, Lady Susan, and Love and Friendship to discover how her characters create reality and the troubles they face in distinguishing appearances from the truth.
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Bonaparte, F. (2005). Conjecturing Possibilities: Reading and Misreading Texts in Jane Austen's" Pride and Prejudice". Studies in the Novel, 37(2), 141-161.
Flynn, K. A., & Katz, J. (2017, July 6). The word choices that explain why Jane Austen endures. The New York Times. Retrieved February 3, 2022, from www.nytimes.com/2017/07/06/up...
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🕰 Watching Guide
00:00 How To Not Marry Mr. Wickham [Intro]
00:40 Constructing Reality With Jane Austen
05:21 The Three Tips For Not Marry Wickham
05:59 Step 1 Examine Ourselves
15:38 Step 2 Examine Who We Trust
20:50 Step 3 Give Ourselves Time
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#janeausten #prideandprejudice #northangerabbey #emma #classicbooks #mrwickham

Пікірлер: 458

@PokhrajRoy. 2 жыл бұрын

Moral of the Story: Jane Austen gave us manuals on how to avoid toxic relationships which people think is adventurous but leaves you traumatised actually.

@joygilman1110 2 жыл бұрын

This. Exactly this!

@thedarkdane7 2 жыл бұрын

Yes! Rakes seems like fun; but they just leave boring, big messes in their wake.

@jessbeingme8155 2 жыл бұрын

Then Hollywood romanticized toxic relationships

@angelicasmodel 2 жыл бұрын

The interesting thing about this suggestion is that I find my own instincts are generally more trustworthy than those of people around me, which is the opposite to what Ellie is suggesting Jane Austen is saying.

@lovetolovefairytales 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah, and it's evident in all her books, except in the case of Mansfield Park half the messed up girls who read it go, "like, ohmagawd Crawford wasn't that bad, Fanny could have fixed him; how dare she marry a stable clergyman she's loved since childhood instead of the guy who slept with her married cousin!" 😆 Also some sense and sensibility fans think Marianne should have married Willoughby. Facepalm. I hate this planet.

@Sillyalways 2 жыл бұрын

Jane Austen is such a great observer of human nature, that's what makes her novels so excellent.

@EllieDashwood 2 жыл бұрын

So true! It’s amazing the depth and complexity at which she examines human character!

@staffanlindstrom576 2 жыл бұрын

That, and her sure grasp of human values.

@azure113 2 жыл бұрын

and timeless

@saraa3418 2 жыл бұрын

People seem to think that these novels are quiet and proper, but they are *juicy* under all the etiquette.

@cheesycheddar555 2 жыл бұрын

Hell yeah, Jane had it going ✨

@PaleMagnolia 2 жыл бұрын

Ellie Dashwood, smiling: "Keep having an awesome day, because you're awesome!" Me, eyes narrowing: this lady is too generally agreeable. Not sure I should trust her

@EllieDashwood 2 жыл бұрын

😏 Muahahahahaha 😂😂😂

@mariar3767 2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣

@raraavis7782 2 жыл бұрын

Touché 😅

@panchitaobrian1660 2 жыл бұрын

we should just give us some time if we wished to marry her! right?

@ElizabethJones-pv3sj 2 жыл бұрын

Well, you haven't even spent a fortnight in the same house, you could hardly claim to be sufficiently aquainted.

@EH23831 2 жыл бұрын

I wonder if that’s why Austen resonates with young women at that point of life where they are finding out about themselves and others (and their motives). It’s all a part of growing up: who do we trust? How well do we know ourselves? It’s so interesting comparing reading Austen as a 20 year old and reading Austen now at 50…

@angelicasmodel 2 жыл бұрын

Interesting thought. I certainly began to prefer Persuasion as I got older, and appreciated how Anne had her stuff together.

@adryanadiniz8453 2 жыл бұрын

This is great content!!!!!! I almost married a Wickham 2y ago. It took me 6months to see what grave mistake I was heading for and end the engagement. He played my weakness (loneliness, bad mental health and pride) and I was only looking at the things I wanted to see in him. Time was crucial! He showed his true colors and I finally confronted my own blindness. Now I'm in a journey to forgive myself for my stupidity! (And I'm in better place regarding my mental health)

@annhans3535 2 жыл бұрын

Thank God you saw where things were headed and had the courage to end it.

@han984 2 жыл бұрын

yyyep me too. These are all such good lessons for life! If only I had been paying attention when I read Jane Austin as a teen, but at the time I thought her characters were kind of exaggerated.

@louisegogel7973 Жыл бұрын

I see this stuff as patterns showing up for us to clear from within us… the Wickam showing us more clearly what the pattern is and that it exists in us… once we clear it, then we shift our attraction to a whole new and better level. The Ho’oponopono making right tool is very useful in these cases. I think the ideas of Abraham Hicks talks also give good insights towards clearing the scoundrel attractions out of our lives. Best of everything to you!

@polinanikulina 11 ай бұрын

You are not stupid period, especially not for falling for him. I hope you're overcoming your struggles, whatever they are! I know from personal experience that loneliness and mental health concerns can exacerbate my own worst tendecies and blind me to reality in ways I'm not always aware of. I hope you're gentle and kind to yourself - this is a success story after all!

@HrHaakon 6 ай бұрын

There's a reason people say you should live together for at least half a year before marrying, and it's probably things like this... It's great that you avoided the perils of evil shitbags, and I bid you luck in your... future engagements... (Sorry, couldn't help myself.)

@saraabdullah6590 2 жыл бұрын

I got married to a scandalous person who divorced me because I stopped allowing him to misuse my money...I have two kids..and believe me it was a horrible experience..I was deceived by his appearance and I was so open to him that he knew my faults. Also, I didn't give myself enough time to well judge his character....Thanks a lot for this amazing video 🌷

@pinstripesuitandheels 7 ай бұрын

I was a sheltered and traumatized young woman who fell in love with a "Knight in shining armour". Too bad I had to learn the hard way he was hiding some very dull qualities underneath all that shine. I still haven't recovered after five years.

@saraabdullah6590 23 күн бұрын

Very sorry for you 😢@pinstripesuitandheels

@PokhrajRoy. 2 жыл бұрын

When I saw the title, I thought to myself: “Where was this when I was making bad decisions?” 😂

@EllieDashwood 2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@elisabethn2893 2 жыл бұрын

oh mood, 19yo me needed to watch this video xD

@joygilman1110 2 жыл бұрын

I think you just did more in 25 minutes to help me get over my ex boyfriend than years of therapy have. And I think I owe all my friends (the ones I should have been listening to) an apology. 🤣 He is one of Austen's charming scoundrels. How did I never see this in the three years together and the year and a half since we broke up?!? I need to not talk to him. (Duh! 🤦‍♀️)

@dirgniflesuoh7950 2 жыл бұрын

And this is why she is still a relevant author.

@raraavis7782 2 жыл бұрын

Some things never change. I'm dating right now and it's a nightmare. I'd say that by now, I have fairly well working 'bullshit detectors', but they're rather the result of lots of trial and error. To imagine, that one misstep, one case of trusting the wrong guy too early could ruin my whole life, rather then being just a disappointing experience...makes me grateful, I live when and where I live.

@Qrtuop 6 ай бұрын

For sure Thank god for feminism, and for divorce.

@PokhrajRoy. 2 жыл бұрын

Is it safe to say that Jane Austen invented self-help books dealing with cognitive dissonance through interesting narratives? I could be wrong.

@hakirby 2 жыл бұрын

it's a weird kind of Conduct Book.

@EH23831 2 жыл бұрын

She also shows us how to spot a self serving narcissist

@shoepixie 2 жыл бұрын

She did exactly that.

@ameliecarre4783 2 жыл бұрын

You're not wrong except generally self-help books are filled with BS and Jane's really aren't. She invented the good sort of self-help books.

@anna_in_aotearoa3166 2 жыл бұрын

All that AND really valuable warnings about logical fallacies, particularly confirmation bias!

@tessat338 2 жыл бұрын

Jane Austin and Leo Tolstoy both helped me to avoid charming scoundrels and to arrive in a happy, stable marriage. It was interesting watching the scoundrels' characters being illuminated over time and seeing the traces of the bullets that I had dodged from not getting involved with such people, both male romantic partners and potential female false friends. It has been grieving to note the trail of destruction that several of these people left in their wakes, but I'm grateful that I was not caught in the direct path of their negative choices.

@panchitaobrian1660 2 жыл бұрын

funny thing, I wrote about those very same two authors :)

@tessiya6199 4 ай бұрын

Funny you say that because IRL Tolstoy was a terrible husband

@tessat338 4 ай бұрын

@@tessiya6199He certainly knows how to get inside the head of rakes like Vronski and Stiva Oblonsky. He shows us the self-deception of all of his male characters who all certainly put their wives and love interests through hell.

@jauntydamemusic 2 ай бұрын

So profoundly terrible. I will never forgive him, not that he’ll ever know or care.

@MonolithicMonotone 2 жыл бұрын

This video is such a good example of how media analysis and understanding the themes of a piece of fiction can teach you something irl. As someone who always feels kind of naive and over-trusting in new social situations, I actually learned a lot from this video about how to better judge ppl's character. There's something really... freeing, maybe? About the distance that analyzing literature gives you, while also feeling true to life. Like, it feels a little silly saying that I learned a few new things about social interactions from a Jane Austen analysis, but it's also safer than living through making the mistakes myself. Which makes it feel less silly.

@Efqqq32 2 жыл бұрын

I'm exactly the same! I find it hard in social situations and this video definitely taught me a lot about life and how to navigate relationships with othes and social situations.

@dasherzchen 2 жыл бұрын

I know it sounds crazy: but i watch trash TV bc they teach me human Interactions (mostly the Bad ones) and what and whom to avoid.

@kittyr6534 2 жыл бұрын

It's not silly at all. This is part of why many authors write the stories they do - to help us understand human nature. I bet JA would've been stoked to know that her novels helped you navigate human relationships! And how great is Ellie Dashwood's analysis? 👏🏆

@MonolithicMonotone 2 жыл бұрын

@@kittyr6534 thank you for the validation 😭 Also excellent point, fiction is never 100% divorced from real life, I need to remember that more lol

@shrimpdance4761 8 ай бұрын

Learning from the mistakes of others is one of the wisest things you can do. The people don't even have to be real!

@georgepalmer5497 Жыл бұрын

A good way to ascertain Wickam's true character is to ask him. As long as you're not a threat to his designs he will freely admit that he has no morals. It depends on the setting how forthright Wickam will be. I've come across sociopaths here and there. Most of them freely admit that they take advantage people. Personally, if someone tells me they have no morals I believe them, and I watch out for them.

@arielklay23 2 жыл бұрын

This is a fascinating video! I've been studying narcissism and narcissistic abuse and I I'm intrigued by the idea of not being able to recognize someone's deceit because of lack of experience. If you're an honest person and you were sheltered from dishonest people, one's own honesty will make it almost impossible to believe someone could be dishonest.

@anna_in_aotearoa3166 2 жыл бұрын

It's a super insidious problem! Tough personal experience suggests that if you're a generous-hearted person with really strong personal ethics, realizing that some people seem to basically base their actions purely on self-interest is really hard to get your head around IRL even if you're theoretically familiar with it in works like Ms Austen's? Being strongly empathetic doesn't seem to help much either - one is still too prone to interpret the person's behaviour in the best light possible! 😔 Encountering real covert narcissists is a very steep learning curve... they seem to pretty good at putting up a shiny front until you've seen them in extended destructive action over time. Super scary stuff!! 😬

@TorchwoodPandP Жыл бұрын

@ArielKlay are you aware of HG Tudor? He has a unique perspective on Narcissism, being one himself.

@liezl2759 Жыл бұрын

A very relatable video showing how Austen draws clever inspiration from real people.

@liezl2759 Жыл бұрын

If you're surrounded with fake, deceitful people, does it make you the same as them? Especially if you have no choice but to interact with them i.e. they're your colleagues, parents? How do you escape such a trifling situation?

@fparkes5781 5 ай бұрын

@@liezl2759 I wouldn't call it 'trifling' . 😂

@SarahElisabethJoyal 2 жыл бұрын

I think one of the reasons that Anne knows the value of investing time is that unlike all of our other point-of-view characters, she's already had a good amount of it. She's had a decade or so (assuming she came out ~16-18 as most girls did) of living in the world as an adult and observing people. Her social circle isn't especially large so she's probably made a lot of observations of the same people over a stretch of multiple years. And as an internally focused character she's probably done a lot of contemplation about how people do and don't change and the nuances of different kinds of characters.

@joannshupe9333 2 жыл бұрын

Regarding Step 3, giving oneself enough time to judge, and analyzing one's own character, I imagine trying to get Lydia to do this. Literally rolling on the floor laughing!

@EH23831 2 жыл бұрын

Yes - because she hasn’t spent even one second on step one! 😁

@vera.nadine 2 жыл бұрын

This is a real public service, Ellie! I wished I'd learned and incorporated these lessons before I married a narcissist. Buyer, beware...what have you sold yourself on?

@izzy1221 2 жыл бұрын

If this video was “How to Marry Mr Wickham”, it would be one second long. It would also just be a black screen with ‘HAVE MONEY’ right in the middle in a huge font.

@EllieDashwood 2 жыл бұрын

He doesn’t ask much does he? 😂😂😂😂

@Amcsae 2 жыл бұрын

@@EllieDashwood You should make that video as a companion piece, just for our entertainment! Shouldn't take long, right? 🤣🤣🤣

@leahnichol6665 28 күн бұрын

😅

@OnBleeckerStreet 6 ай бұрын

Really interesting video! In Northanger Abbey, there is also the ‘irony’ (or just genuine life lesson) of Catherine knowing all about gothic horror evil, whilst being very naive to the evil that hides in polite society (the Thorpes, General Tilney).

@kerrysutherland7698 2 жыл бұрын

unfortunately i married a scoundrel, got rid of him but got a fantastic daughter out of the relationship, so it's win. love your videos!

@panchitaobrian1660 2 жыл бұрын

yes! I wouldn´t get my nephew if everybody tried to avoid scoundrels, too :))

@carola-lifeinparis 2 жыл бұрын

congratulations :)

@jaimicottrill2831 2 жыл бұрын

One of the best pieces of advice in this, that I will definitely echo, is take your time. If they are truly in love with you they will be fine going at a slower pace. Nobody can hide their true character forever so, ladies, take your time! I was with my boyfriend for 6 years before we got married and had kids! It was worth the wait to get a genuine person.

@StarOpal 2 жыл бұрын

This is all great advice. 3 reminded me of a job I once had. The time came for my 100 day review and someone told me that when I first started nobody thought I'd last because I didn't talk much (they had $20.00 on two weeks BTW). I told her it was because I was listening, people will show themselves if you just let them talk enough, and that's how I knew who I could trust and who to keep an eye on. She looked at me like wowed.

@martinasimonelli2281 2 жыл бұрын

Jane Austen's advices on how to avoid toxic people😂

@EllieDashwood 2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@KatAlSilva 2 жыл бұрын

Simple yet so deep. I study toxic relationships and really research ways to prevent people from getting in them, but I've never heard such precise tips. Really this is gold right here

@SteveEhrmann 2 жыл бұрын

I have been watching your channel quite awhile. This is my favorite episode. A good argument we’ll-founded with quotes from many Austen works. And it made me take a more critical look at myself, with some discomfort. Bravo!!

@EllieDashwood 2 жыл бұрын

Aw! Thank you so much!!! It made me take a critical look at myself too. And I’m pretty sure I do all the things Jane is saying not to do. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

@zuzkapavlovicova2779 2 жыл бұрын

There was this one guy I liked in my class. We were friendly with each other but weren't in the same friend group, so we never spend that much time together. When I talked to the girls in that friend group about him, they said that he wants to appear as a nice and caring guy, but in many instances he didn't do what he promised to do or he wasn't sincere and kept his life very private, even tho they were friends for 3-4 years. I didn't take these seriously, as I was blinded by my feelings for him, but I should have known better. I should have trusted the people who knew him for a longer time. They were my friends too and I knew them longer than him. They were honest and didn't want to hurt me nor him. One day, I was talking to him about my life and such and I expected him to do the same. I believed that he would be as open as I am. The next day, I discovered that he has a girlfriend, whom he didn't mention at all the day before. I was shocked and angry at him for not telling me such a big change in his life. I thought we were friends, and friends share these things with each other, don't they? Now, that I am older, I got to realise that not all people in my life are the same as me, and that I should be more picky with who I open my heart to.

@daffodilunderhill7066 2 жыл бұрын

Many of us have relationships or marriages with scoundrels in our youth. Hopefully to learn from our mistakes and move on to better choices.

@tamoramuir2089 2 жыл бұрын

Fortunately, mistakes in our modern era are more easily fixed than in the early 19th century, even if they still cause heartbreak. I'm glad you have been able to move on!

@hakirby 2 жыл бұрын

At least these days we don't need to be stuck with our mistakes.

@Imilana_da_Rodin 2 ай бұрын

I am still recovering from one of my bad choices. After three years of relationship he cast me aside as fast and as convenient as possible, because I no longer fit what he was looking for. I had relied on him financially and he cut that of from one day to the other. At the same time wanted me to move out as fast as possible, while he had already moved in with his new girlfriend. And then he held back my 12.000€ in stocks on his depot so he could pressure me into moving out and even moving my furniture into a furniture storehouse because I had no permanent place to stay. What a scoundrel. Cold to the heart, pathetic, pitiful. I hope and pray that he reaps what he sows. Now I don’t trust my judgment anymore and cannot rely on anyone that much anymore. I take care of myself. Maybe over the years someone in my life will become a person, I can be relaxed around, take confidence in and get comfort, and overall support each other and have each other’s. But otherwise I love myself and am fine.

@daffodilunderhill7066 2 ай бұрын

@@Imilana_da_Rodin The girl he cheated on you with will probably cheat on him... Good for you to get independent emotionally and financially. If someone great comes along, Great! But you don't want to date in a state of desperation. You deserve better. And living single is fine, too. Nurture your friend group. Cats and chihuahuas are also fine companions. 😻🐕

@nancytrowbridge3085 2 жыл бұрын

The same could also be said for Mr. Darcy he also lived in his own realty he thought Elizabeth liked him when actually she didn't like him at all.

@SafetySpooon 2 жыл бұрын

Or, at least, he didn't realize just how much she disliked him. He was taken in by both her excellent manners (hiding her true feelings) & his own pride in himself/his position

@StarryEyed0590 2 жыл бұрын

@@SafetySpooon Agreed. I don't think Darcy thought that Elizabeth actually returned his feelings. He just didn't realize she actively disliked him and also assumed he was such a good catch that Elizabeth would obviously say yes. (Paralleling Mr Collins' proposal, which is also focused on HIS feelings, with it being a given that she will accept)

@emilymoran9152 2 жыл бұрын

He could actually have thought that she actively liked him. They have some darn good banter that he could easily have read as deliberate flirting. For instance, in that scene at the piano, even when she is teasing him Elizabeth smiles and Mr. Darcy is described as smiling at least 3 times (which he is rarely described as doing when conversing with other people). I can see him walking away from that going: "That was fun! Maybe I'm getting better at this relating-to-people thing!"

@edithengel2284 Жыл бұрын

I think under Lizzie's dislike was a good deal of liking which she did not consciously admit to herself. That, Darcy might have unconsciously registered. But on the whole, I agree with StarryEyed0590 that he didn't think she would reject him however she felt about him.

@Tasha9315 6 ай бұрын

That's Mr. Collins who still convinced himself Lizzie was playing hard to get after multiple nos. I don't think Mr. Darcy necessarily thought she "liked" him but more that he thought she would accept him because of his status and wealth and her own limited options and family situation. Even if he partly thought she liked him, it wasn't completely delusional because they had quiet a bit of banter that could be construed as flirty banter.

@PokhrajRoy. 2 жыл бұрын

Usually, we see you in pinks and pastels and I love how you’ve changed up your look to more darker tones. It’s a nice look on you 👏🏽

@frankupton5821 2 жыл бұрын

I'm not sure that Mr Collins really does think that Charlotte is his perfect partner. Mr Collins knows what he ought to feel about Charlotte, Lizzie (when he proposes to her), Lady Catherine, Rosings and its expensive windows, Lydia going of with Wickham, and everybody and everything. He has probably learnt this knowledge out of books. He does not, however, appear to have any genuine feelings at all. Even rendering Charlotte pregnant is, perhaps, only what he considered he ought to do.

@harrietpotter649 Жыл бұрын

This video actually helped me forgive myself for some errors of judgment I've made recently. Lizzie and Emma and Catherine have their weaknesses of character, and I have my own. Nothing to do about it but reflect and move on. Thanks for the insight, Ellie :)

@CookieDoh 2 жыл бұрын

I read Charles Dickens’ David Copperfield for the first time as a teen and was horrified by Uriah Heep, and for many years he epitomized the classic villain in my mind. My mother read David Copperfield on my recommendation when she was in her mid to late forties. She was horrified by Steerforth and ranted about him at length when we discussed it afterwards. I didn’t understand her reaction. I mean, Steerforth made bad choices and hurt people, but surely it was nothing more than youthful indiscretion. I recently reread David Copperfield after not having done so for many years. I would like to say that I get it now that I’m… more mature. Steerforth was all of the things you described in this video, and more. He used people for his own gratification and then flung them aside when he’d gotten all he could out of them. Truly a charming and unprincipled rake. Thank you for the video. I quite enjoyed it.

@crazybiogeek 2 жыл бұрын

I know Mr. Collins is annoying and stuff, but he does get bashed a lot for no reason. Unlike Wickham or other scoundrels, Collins isn't able to lie or hide his feelings. He's overall a shallow kind of person, who respects wealth and "stuff", but that doesn't necessarily make him a BAD person. Since Charlotte was so desperate as to approve of his proposal, I do have a hope in my "this is how things turn out in the future" scenario that she and Mr. Collins learned to be happy together, instead of her trying to avoid him all the time. I know Charlotte is working to "improve" his worse impulses, like declaring every random and potentially unflattering thought in his head out loud. So, it's my hope that she's successful one day and he gets less annoying and she learns to appreciate that he's really not that bad of a person. But still, better her than me. I wouldn't want to marry Mr. Collins. I'd rather be an old maid. haha

@panchitaobrian1660 2 жыл бұрын

can you imagine to raise his kids.... What if they all are that stupid! Poor Charlotte, she´s too clever a person - that´s a problem :(

@crazybiogeek 2 жыл бұрын

@@panchitaobrian1660 With Charlotte as a mom, I'm sure the kids would be quite sensible.

@debbiericker8223 2 жыл бұрын

You might want to read The Clergyman's Wife by Molly Greeley. It's an Austen fan fiction novel about what happened with Charlotte and Mr. C. I really enjoyed it. (Spoiler Alert -- she's reasonably content, which is all Charlotte really wanted.)

@crazybiogeek 2 жыл бұрын

@@debbiericker8223 Thanks for the recommendation! You might enjoy The Other Bennet Sister by Janice Hadlow. It really gives life to Mary's character and for most of the book, makes me want to just give her a hug. She gets happiness by the end.

@debbiericker8223 2 жыл бұрын

@@crazybiogeek I've heard of that and plan to get a copy. There is a scene near the end of the old 1940s film version of P&P where Mary is playing piano with an admiring young man behind her. I can't remember if he's playing a flute or a violin or what, but he's clearly her beau. That scene is just about the only thing I like about that particular film adaptation, lol!

@krw5723 2 жыл бұрын

This was such a perfect video that I needed right now. Didn't expect such deep self reflection from a video called "How to not Marry Wickham." Thanks so much to you and our glorious Ms Austen

@PokhrajRoy. 2 жыл бұрын

5:14 When I saw that moment in ‘Sense and Sensibility’ (1995) where Emma Thompson as Elinor goes “Oh, Good God!” when she learns the truth kind of encapsulates Willoughby’s deeds.

@Kelly-zv6ui 2 жыл бұрын

What do you think about exploring Jane Austen’s views of female friendship and sisterhood? The Bennet, Elliot and Dashwood sisters show a lot of different examples

@douglasfisher5031 10 ай бұрын

I watched this over a year ago and I still think it’s one of the best things (video/audio) posted to any social media ever and deserves some kind of gold statue for it. It clearly explains one Austen’s chief geniuses and why it is as relevant today as it was then. And simply, it provides an invaluable life-lesson to all young (and old) people - that and Austen’s other invaluable life-lesson: invest, invest, invest. It is ALSO one of the best lay introductions to EPISTEMOLOGY that probably exists, period. This video was genuine genius. (I miss this kind of content here.)

@PokhrajRoy. 2 жыл бұрын

I’m just happy to see a new video from this channel. I hope you’re doing better, E. We want to see you healthy, wealthy and wise.

@EllieDashwood 2 жыл бұрын

That’s so sweet! I am feeling a lot better! 😃

@PokhrajRoy. 2 жыл бұрын

@@EllieDashwood Happy to hear that!

@doublequilI 2 жыл бұрын

Don't you just love how relevant this constructed reality thing still is?

@fredm5570 2 жыл бұрын

This is such a wonderful and thoughtful examination of Jane Austin’s writing. It shows how well she understood human nature, and you’ve done an amazing job of studying and explaining the nuances of her writing. Fantastic video! (And also, I love your necklace. :-)

@sophieruby9135 2 жыл бұрын

To be fair to Elizabeth Bennett, both Wickham and Darcy were really good at hiding their true natures.

@panchitaobrian1660 2 жыл бұрын

haha, so true! :)

@anna_in_aotearoa3166 2 жыл бұрын

This is what I find so terrifying about many narcissists... The "loud & proud" egotist is easily detectable and avoidable, but the more covertly self-centered person (borderline sociopaths perhaps?) are often very, very good at putting up a positive front and talking a good game. As point #3 highlights, it seems like really the only way to spot them is to give any new acquaintance or colleague plenty of time, carefully observing their behaviour....? And just hope like heck they don't rip you off, backstab or assault you in the meantime!! 😬 Truly one of the scariest things about human nature to me - even if you have finely tuned BS detectors these people can slip past them for significant periods of time, because they are very practiced manipulators....

@sophieruby9135 2 жыл бұрын

@@anna_in_aotearoa3166 And this is where gossip is helpful, kinda like an early version of a background check.

@anna_in_aotearoa3166 2 жыл бұрын

@@sophieruby9135 Hmm... possibly, although the country gossip Jane Austen rather sarcastically describes in P&P seems to have been a bit of a mixed bag? 😄 Word of Darcy's fortune got around in Netherton super-fast, but Wickham's misbehaviour & debt all round the town didn't seem to get out until after he'd already fled the scene... One suspects perhaps his friends like Cpt. Denny were helping try and keep things on the down-low, up until it finally just got too bad to hush up!

@sophieruby9135 2 жыл бұрын

@@anna_in_aotearoa3166 So true.

@dottiewi661 2 жыл бұрын

So many good ideas in this, not only relating to love but also in every aspect of life, really. It is important, to not loose the connection between one’s view of life and reality of other people around, “bubble” etc.

@EllieDashwood 2 жыл бұрын

That’s such a good point! It’s amazing how the issues Jane Austen examined over two hundred years ago are still the same ones we deal with today. 🧐

@kendracrispin5327 2 жыл бұрын

This got me thinking about Fanny Price, and the Dashwood sisters. What are their distorted views of the world? Marianne's is obviously related to excessive sensibility and an overly romantic view of the world that doesn't account for loving more than one person. Fanny's stems from a lack of self-confidence and that - as JA herself suggested - would've led to eventually marrying HC and being miserable. Elinor... is harder to pinpoint. In some ways she's both too sensible and also not observant enough. Curious to know your opinion, Ellie.

@amybee40 2 жыл бұрын

Elinor's blindness is to seeing when an otherwise sensible person might be carried away by their emotions.

@p_nk7279 2 жыл бұрын

Well, she’s shocked about Edward’s past with Lucy, upon first hearing it from Lucy. She’s in disbelief and can’t reconcile his behavior with her (Elinor) with his behavior with Lucy; she fails to see that she missed signs (from Fanny, from Edward himself) that she might be investing too much in his sincerity or attentions. She’s initially too trusting of Lucy as well, allowing Lucy to get away with the the ‘sweet’ impression she tries to convey. Later she does some self-reflection and figures out who to trust. And when she lets Marianne know how she has kept feelings to herself, we see that she has dwelt on it a bit and begins to ‘reconcile.’ At least those are my thoughts.

@juanitajones6900 2 жыл бұрын

Fanny was never going to marry Henry Crawford. Not by a long shot. Only the 1999 movie had suggested she was willing to marry him for a brief period. I think Fanny's real flaw was her hypocrisy and willingness to judge others without being capable of any real self-reflection.

@lovetolovefairytales 2 жыл бұрын

@@juanitajones6900 no, sadly Austen flat out says Fanny would have married Henry eventually if Edmund married Mary. Honestly, if she couldn't have Edmund, I personally think she'd have been happier with Tom Bertram than Henry who would have made her miserable.

@edithengel2284 Жыл бұрын

Fanny sees through Henry and Mary Crawford right away, and maintains her view of them even in the face of Sir Thomas's displeasure and her exile. She sees Edmund's infatuation with Mary as not being true to himself. Her only flaw in perception seems to be the belief that she is not worthy of anyone's favorable attention, which over time might have endangered her, had Edmund actually married Mary, and she had continued in her relationship with Henry. Henry did everyone a favor by running off with Maria. Fanny, Edmund, and Mr. Rushworth were all better off in the end.

@ArtisticGym 2 жыл бұрын

Kept waiting for the sly insertion of the "like this video" plug. 😂 "Anne Elliot did not rush into liking Mr. Elliot, but one thing she did like was this video." Or " So how do you avoid liking a Mr. Wickham? Well one thing you must do to avoid this is to like this video."

@faithful2thecall 2 жыл бұрын

Being a man who is normally too cautious when it comes to heart matters you would think that I might escape similar mistakes, however for a long time I was a bit of a sucker for women who were overly emotionally needy. Since I've become aware of that tendency I've successfully avoided being lured in by any more similar women so far. Great video again, Eliie! You deserve all your success because you're awesome!

@panchitaobrian1660 2 жыл бұрын

what´s wrong with emotionally needy women? :) Do you now prefer emotionally cold and indifferent?

@mtngrl5859 2 жыл бұрын

@@panchitaobrian1660 There is a balance. An emotionally needy woman, is an unsecure woman. Same with men who are emotionally needy.

@Mulcreevy 2 жыл бұрын

Ellie this is an excellent analysis of application from classic literature! This is one reason why people need to read classics like Austin. Imagine if they taught this in schools with this depth? It could save so many from ruining their lives. This made me examine myself and realize some changes I need to make. Thanks!

@luluembelequera5544 2 жыл бұрын

That was an excellent and fascinating analysis of such an important issue: Perception vs reality. Have you considered presenting this as a master’s or Ph.D thesis topic? It is an important academic subject - superb job!!!

@leannerae 2 жыл бұрын

Can you do a few videos on Sense and Sensibility? I feel like everyone is always hype on Pride and Prejudice and the other fun, popular reads, I hardly see any commentary videos on Sense and Sensibility and it's such a good book! I think it's more on human nature with less comedy but it's still great! Please do some videos on it!

@vitcoria07 2 жыл бұрын

Your videos and examinations have helped me realize why I just love Jane Austen's writing. Her characters are so diverse of personality and experiences and so real. She understood how people are and through this wrote how to look and view the world around us. Her main characters aren't one dimensional or "heroines" but they're real, in that they too struggle through things and have to learn...and recognize that as humans we need to continue to do so. Thank you for your videos!! Additionally just adore your necklace and makeup :)

@penultimateh766 2 жыл бұрын

Our wise and beautiful Regency hostess again delivers sage background and content. Also her necklace is great. I hope she eventually talks more about her first nations heritage.

@PokhrajRoy. 2 жыл бұрын

Ngl I am a magnet for toxic men waving red flags and have recently learnt to deal with men who could be green flags. You know you’ve dealt with a lot when you don’t know how to deal with guy who has green flags. The toxicity is both real and unreal.

@rebekahedmunds7542 2 жыл бұрын

This is awesome! I want to use all of these points in my everyday life (not just at the balls), but I especially loved your first point!! But that has got me thinking, it seems like the main characters who go through drastic character growth are the heroines or Mr. Darcy. Could this be one of the reasons we all love him so much... that he mans up to his faults and listens to Lizzy?

@giovana4121 2 жыл бұрын

I think that's exactly why we love Mr Darcy. Many authors and screenwriters try to recreate him but fail because they focus too much on the "rich guy with bad attitude" part and forget about the "who listens, respects boundaries, and strives to become a better person".

@rebekahslyter954 2 жыл бұрын

I guess that explains why Anne Elliott has always been my favorite :)

@JK-wc7cm 2 жыл бұрын

I also think someone who was truthful, not manipulative and a good person would like this video! Cause it’s amazing!

@patrickmuller7334 4 ай бұрын

I know this is besides the point, but I'm totally amazed how the eye shadow matches the petals in the background.

@ginnieliebherr4245 2 жыл бұрын

Glad to see your feeling better. Love your videos

@EllieDashwood 2 жыл бұрын

Aw, thank you so much!!!

@123tova987 2 жыл бұрын

Ellie, I'm always looking out for another engaging & informative video from you! Thank you, I enjoyed this video so much!

@kimberlycasey5957 2 жыл бұрын

I think this is your best video, in terms of analysis. I think the changes to your upload schedule were a good choice--it allowed you more time to go into depth with close reading. Really great job!

@Efqqq32 2 жыл бұрын

This video is fantastic, you are amazing at literary analysis! This is the first video I have seen from you and I am subscribing now! The points you make about marriage and life I had never really thought about before and I feel like I understand myself and life more from having watched this. Definitely self reflection, deciding who to trust, and giving yourself time are three important things to consider before making any big decisions. Thanks for educating me! Please keep making videos!

@AnOldFashionedWoman 4 ай бұрын

I've only recently discovered your channel and am really enjoying your videos! Love fashion style as well!

@FrugalOverFifty 2 жыл бұрын

Loved every bit of this. So thoughtful and insightful. And the song at the end - amazing! I can’t imagine how much work you put into each video. It’s like writing and then presenting a thesis. 🙌🙌🤘🤘👍👍

@sarahs9274 2 жыл бұрын

Love love LOVE your videos!! I’m holding out hope for another Emma video :)

@stiofanmacamhalghaidhau765 2 жыл бұрын

Genuinely excellent video. Probably your best. Which really saying something. Exactly this kind of insight is what delighted me about Jane Austen as a teen 40 years ago, and it is great to see you break it down so well.

@pm6730 2 жыл бұрын

Brilliant video and message, Ellie. A good guide for us all indeed.

@manoraveira203 Жыл бұрын

YOU are awesome! Your input on Jane Austen’s work has truly helped me understand it better. Awesome job!!

@everyladi9338 2 жыл бұрын

Brilliant analysis on Elizabeth and Catherine seeing what they want to see / seeing things from their perspective !

@l.cchiang3053 2 жыл бұрын

Love your videos so much, Ellie! Your videos are being so helpful for me in working on my Final Year Project about Jane Austen!

@dearkirtana1303 2 жыл бұрын

Such a thorough and insightful discussion. I loved it! ♥

@carlairving 2 жыл бұрын

I've read Jane Austen first as a teen. Yet it took me 4 years of a toxic relationship followed by as long in therapy to lesrn these important lessons 💁‍♀️

@jamesu1857 2 жыл бұрын

Very deep thoughts that are timeless, I think at some level we all follow our heart for better or worse.

@maepie 2 жыл бұрын

Needed this video 20 years ago! Brilliant young person. Brava!

@idazakin2589 2 жыл бұрын

This is one of your very best video lessons! Many thanks!!

@everausten 2 жыл бұрын

This is an excellent episode. And a great blueprint for writing an Austen style story ✨🌟🌙

@grandmastreasure8160 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you soo much. You video had clarity i needed the most ,and beautiful detailed analysis.

@annemck 2 жыл бұрын

This is an insightful analysis of the texts, and very timely for the 2020s.

@JuniperNickl 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks to your videos, I understand Austen in a way my professors never taught. You’ve made Regency literature enjoyable. Also, your makeup is flawless!

@Ziyoda88 2 жыл бұрын

I love this video so much! Thanks for making this!

@dolorescordell129 Ай бұрын

Wonderful analysis! Thank you so much.

@Nhanla Ай бұрын

A lovely video, thank you 💛 It includes literature, psychology and good deal of common sense.

@debbeborders5762 7 ай бұрын

Excellent analysis. Thank you Ellie.

@happydayzee 7 ай бұрын

I loved this. ❤ thank you for the insights.

@lindareams3208 Жыл бұрын

Wonderful content. I appreciate the time and effort that you invested. Well done!

@dahlia1559 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for my Austen fix. Also your eyeshadow looks really pretty 😊

@SDG51 2 жыл бұрын

Super excited to watch this!!!!

@animatorireenie8319 2 жыл бұрын

Great video and message. Very interesting and thank you for making it!

@carakellmeyer5037 2 жыл бұрын

I thought the answer was going to be ' listen to gossip'. Hahahaha, I am looking at you, Mrs. Nurse Rooke! ( Persuasion)

@staffanlindstrom576 2 жыл бұрын

Very entertaining as always, and educational too.

@roxananegoita8268 2 жыл бұрын

Fantastic analysis! I hope you're feeling better, I remember you mentioning that your health needed some care.

@rockyhrndz 5 ай бұрын

One of your best videos!

@eleanorwilkinson1351 2 жыл бұрын

Elle's videos has made me love early modern history so much more!

@CynthiaPattonArtist 2 жыл бұрын

Super enjoyed this one. Thanks Ellie!

@EllieDashwood 2 жыл бұрын

Yay! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!!!

@vannahhall915 2 жыл бұрын

Awesome method for making decisions related to long term commitment! I wish I'd heard it this way 30 yrs ago.

@sarahanan7015 2 жыл бұрын

This is a great lens to look at Persuasion with. Anne mostly has her head on straight but everyone else...

@erincarter9995 Жыл бұрын

Great video! Well done.

@angelavasiliu3968 Жыл бұрын

Excellent analysis!

@miriamportugal4703 2 жыл бұрын

I really love your videos!! Thank you so much!!

@monsecarpediem 2 жыл бұрын

Your hair + makeup + necklace look really beautiful! :)

@neatodude3339 2 жыл бұрын

Great analysis !