Emotional Neglect Recovery: 9 Things The Emotionally Attuned Parent Says to Their Child

Emotional Neglect Recovery: 9 Things The Emotionally Attuned Parent Says to Their Child | Dr. Webb

Рет қаралды 10,187

Күн бұрын

Learn about Childhood Emotional Neglect, how it happens, and how to heal it in my FREE CEN Breakthrough Series: bit.ly/cenbreakthrough15
To find out if you grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect, take the free Emotional Neglect Test: bit.ly/entest
To learn much more about how to gain the skills you missed, check out my bestselling book, Running on Empty, for just $10: bit.ly/runningonemptybook
Find out more about Emotional Neglect at: www.emotionalneglect.com.
In this video, you’ll learn some potentially emotionally neglectful things that most parents say to their children, and then I’ll give you 9 ways they could say those things in a more emotionally attuned and healthy way that actually teaches your child how emotions work.
CEN Breakthrough Video Series:
1. Emotional Neglect: How to Recognize it, Why it’s Invisible, And How it Affects You | Dr. Jonice Webb:
• Emotional Neglect: How...
2. Emotional Neglect: 4 Subtle but Painful Things You May Have Missed Growing Up | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: 4 S...
3. Emotional Neglect: How it Can Make it Hard to Recognize Your Emotions | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: How...
4. Emotional Neglect: 5 Ways it can Affect Your Emotional Intelligence | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: 5 W...
5. Emotional Neglect: How to Connect with Yourself and Find Your Voice | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: How...
6. Emotional Neglect: What Most Therapists Don’t Know and How to Find One Who Does | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: Wha...
7. Emotional Neglect: Use These 10 Affirmations to Reparent Yourself | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: Use...
8. Emotional Neglect: Lack of Self-Discipline? It might be Self Neglect Instead | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: Lac...
9. Emotional Neglect: How it Impacts Your Love Relationships | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: How...
10. Emotional Neglect: Jumpstart Your Healing by Doing These 3 Things | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: Jum...
00:00 Introduction
02:00 Focus on Emotions
03:30 3 Goals in Parenting
05:15 Ideal Parent Statements
13:00 Conclusion

Пікірлер: 53

@tlweniger 10 ай бұрын

My parents never asked questions, which conveyed we don't care, we're not interested, you're not important, you don't matter, and we don't care how you feel. I once told my mother that I was lonely, and she said quite vehemently, "You are not lonely!' I'm glad that you are talking about CEN because it has been the missing link in all the therapy I've received. There was nothing concrete I could put my finger on to explain the melancholy, low self-esteem, self-hate, and depression that was always there. This is the root cause. Thank you!

@jenhari3432 6 ай бұрын

I can relate. What were you supposed to say then? "Oh, ok mom, I'm not lonely, you don't care about my well being, but I'm not lonely, ok"

@radu2418 10 ай бұрын

As someone who grew up emotionally neglected and parentified, these specific phrases in specific situations are of great help. Thank you so much for this! I'm trying to be a better parent for my child, and to teach him it's ok to FEEL and to manage what he feels. Sometimes I'm stumped, because all I know is "block it away, repress, ignore, shift attention to something else". Actually, more often it's "shift attention to everyone else and solve their problems". So having the right words available in my head helps so much when the situation gets hard or tense or heavy. Thank you again, Dr. Webb!

@DiamondMind630 2 ай бұрын

You should be very proud of yourself you are taking great steps to help and prepare him for adult life I wish my parents had done more.

@user-qq6gb9er7u 9 ай бұрын

I'll try and remember to have this approach to my inner child , as i attempt to reparent myself ...

@buddyneher9359 10 ай бұрын

Wow, this is revolutionary! If this became widely adopted in our culture.... things would be very different. Thank you for putting this out there.

@universealchemy 9 ай бұрын

1. Why are you crying? Instead of “Stop crying” 2. That’s okay, get it all out, and then we’ll talk. Instead of “Let me know when you’re done with your tantrum” 3. Let’s take a break so we can both calm down, instead of “Alright, enough! I’m done with this.” 4. You sound angry/hurt/upset. Are you? Instead of “Fix the attitude!” 5. How did this go wrong? Let’s think it through. Instead of “You need to think before you act.” 6. I see you’re angry, is it because … instead of “Go to your room until you can behave/act better.” 7. “Look at me, take a deep breath, let’s count to five together.” Instead of Okay, okay, stop crying so that we can go into the store. 8. Everyone gets nervous, it’s okay, let’s talk about it. Instead of “There’s nothing to be nervous about.” 9. We all have intense emotions, but it’s important that you say it to me in a way that I can hear it instead of “Don’t talk to me with that tone”.

@Crystalquartz964 9 ай бұрын

It's so difficult when you're in a big store and your child has a raging tantrum! Not easy to say, "Get it all out and then we'll talk". My son ran his hand along all the drinks bottles, knocking them all over in the store!

@nellautumngirl 9 ай бұрын

Wow wow I have watched so many sources, but somehow seeing how a parent should behave hammers home the truth: my parents were never able to give these to me and for 30 years I thought there was something wrong with me for feeling so lonely, sad and ashamed

@richardherron6768 10 ай бұрын

I never heard a single one of the 'better' ways to parent from my own parents. Although I've known for about 6 years that I've CEN, and have no kids of my own, I have bought and read both of your books. I just bought your reduced price program to continue my 'emotional intelligence'. Thanks for all you've done. And thanks for an inexpensive way to get more EQ training. This last video of yours was very helpful.

@YanitsaStoilova-cy1vg 10 ай бұрын

Oh my god! You have just cited all the typical statements, reactions, the so called under -statements and messages that my CEN parents inundated me with throughout my childhood... Thank you so much for having finally provided some healthy alternatives!

@詠萱-5oi 10 ай бұрын

Dr. Webb, I recently discovered your channel and felt healed by your work. But I do find some parent ask why kids are feeling what they’re feeling too much because they want to be like a ideal parent who is rational about feelings.

@patriciamininni3589 10 ай бұрын

What I really appreciate is that you addressed the perhaps guilt/shame feelings that parents who have been raised in such an environment and unknowingly transfer the same onto their children, have.

@user-ep6xo5fd9w 10 ай бұрын

Dr. Webb, I love your work and if I may, I disagree with your first point. When a child is crying, they often can't articulate "why" as their cognitive brain is off line. I have found from personal experience that what works better in the moment is repeated naming of what the child may be feeling as in: "you are so sad right now", "you're upset, that's so hard". The child then can correct if I'm wrong and they may say: "no, I'm angry" or if they indeed are sad, they will feel seen. The "what was going on?" question can come later, once the child is calm and connecting with you.

@pinkdipi 10 ай бұрын

I'd say you're both right. I think it all depends on the age: where an older child can express at least the basics, a younger child might need help and time? Have a nice day! :)

@thelovelylife7451 4 ай бұрын

Wow!!! Going to use this one! Thank you!

@snehaeranna5796 9 ай бұрын

Please tell about emotionally unavailable siblings and their effect on a kid

@jasoncook7227 5 ай бұрын

Great idea.

@marysaraha1580 10 ай бұрын

I'm very grateful to find you. As an actor, parent ( and part-time clinician), I have dedicated much of my work to honoring, validating and diving into the world of emotions. This work is so necessary!

@debgilbert3206 10 ай бұрын

I wish you were around 40 years ago when I was raising my child. What valuable information.

@chinnierichardson3699 6 ай бұрын

It is sooo comforting to know this is a fixable condition. I am married to a CEN husband. It has been an extremely lonely marriage. Thank you for your KZfaq videos. C. Richardson

@davida4769 10 ай бұрын

Do you have these parental responses to children’s emotions in writing? That would be most helpful. Thank you so much for this video.

@clairewilson3577 9 ай бұрын

I was raised with all those subtle messages.

@gracemeyer4870 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for this. I’m working to ‘re-parent’ myself (since my parents only used the first statements you mention.) This is so clear. I had already written a list of ‘things my parents should’ve said to me…’ this will make that list so much richer.

@valerysoriadehernandez4132 6 ай бұрын

The past couple days I’ve learn so much and little by little getting the strength to fight this and break the cycle of CEN . God bless you Dr. Webb.

@diannebosch5866 10 ай бұрын

thank you, Dr. Jonice! our kids are grown, but we are so happy to start doing this with them...and ourselves!!! you are so helpful!!!!! thanks tons.

@diannebosch5866 10 ай бұрын

so grateful for you sharing! who knew?!!!

@jisha160 10 ай бұрын

Information abt CEN has saved my life, thank you

@xhaxha1028 10 ай бұрын

This is so helpful and I'm not even a parent! Thank you!!!

@adaelmo8915 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for this! ❤

@TMscorpion1000 10 ай бұрын

Thank you!

@bellaluce7088 10 ай бұрын

Specifics like this are very helpful. Thank you!

@jenniferkuperman2589 10 ай бұрын

Thank you

@petrahusser6475 10 ай бұрын

Another input of you I love!! Helps me so much to heal a little bit each time and to not pass the pain on to the next generation ❤ Thank you!

@user-mv5zp1ow4f Ай бұрын

Well said

@bettyplummer9692 10 ай бұрын

This rundown is very good! The ideal responses are useful and comforting to me in reparenting myself!

@marie-noellebaechler1433 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for your videos, They are well made and you are doing an important work. It may however be possible that, before some parents are able to welcome the emotions of their children, they'll have to start by learning to welcome their own ones. It may even be possible that they'll have to work on their own traumas.

@johncurrie61 3 ай бұрын

Great words🎉

@centpushups 10 ай бұрын

Got to be gentle and compassionate. Excellent examples.

@giakhalsa7971 10 ай бұрын

Thank you so much. This is so excellent. I wish I had it 40 years ago when my daughter was young. But I think they are good guidelines for any human interaction. I think I might try to memorize them.😂❤

@cristiana023 Ай бұрын

Thanks! it was helpful indeed 🌱

@megans.6159 8 ай бұрын

New subscriber. This is the 1st video I've seen of yours. Thank you. I learned a lot 😊

@bettinaschafer320 4 ай бұрын

It's so wonderful that you worked out this issue. ❤ It will help us and so many more people. ❤❤ Thank you

@ljkoh20052000able 10 ай бұрын

Its kind of difficult for a parent to remember what the ideal response should be specially when it does not come out naturally. I think what to keep in mind which should be easier to do is to prioritize emotions before behavior

@SweetUniverse 10 ай бұрын

I never had children. Both of my parents were alcoholics. I didn't want to screw up my children the way my parents screwed me up. I've been seeing one therapist or another for almost 40 yrs.

@clairewilson3577 9 ай бұрын

O how I wish I could have given this to my kids….