As a 4, I wanted to add to what you guys were talking about. I believe that what energizes a 4 is being seen and accepted for who they are. 4's like to be recognized for their uniqueness or for whatever they bring to the table. This is part of the authenticity piece. In terms of what this looks like, I'd say, being inquisitive and curious when speaking to a 4, allowing them to share with you; being sensitive about the fact that the 4 is mutable, meaning, their emotions dictate who they are in each moment, finding the charm in this; also, opening up to the 4 is highly energizing. So, not just allowing them to open up to you, but sharing yourself and expressing what makes YOU different, what you're afraid of, what moves you, etc. I think it's a misconception that 4's think they're unique and no one else is, even though there's truth in that, I think 4's are STARVED for intimacy and the knowledge of how others are weird and unique too. They want connection, to feel that they're not outsiders. So, welcoming the 4, sharing your flaws and short-comings, demonstrating your uniqueness, all of that is so appreciated by the 4. Lastly, I think 4's are energized by self-expression, being given the chance to express their point of view, or way of doing something, etc.

1 - 0:19 2 - 4:15 3 - 7:30 4 - 10:53 5 - 15:15 6 - 18:28 7 - 20:58 8 - 24:58 9 - 32:50

9s squad! Comfort, peace, and naps! Perfect environment = sudden burst of energy and motivation 😂

5w6, perhaps I can explain. Yes. Sensory experiences.. incense, perfumes, coffee with the perfect notes, teas, the right fabrics for clothes, the proper temperature, the perfect bass and treble coming a sound system, immersive music, perfect HD clarity with visuals on film, physical touch, massages, etc. I'd say these are particularly energizing for the 5 because they can actually get the 5 out of their heads and ground them in reality. These can make the real world worth being present in.

Insight from a 5: Sensory input is desired from environment like foods, visuals, smell, and touch of materials, and not sensory input from people (a "personal" touch has energy not sensory input, we don't want people/touch stimulus but we want the other external environmental sensory input to be "right"). I thought I had a Sensory disorder, turns out I'm just a TRIED AND TRUE 5. Sensory items are huge for me. The cold room and extra blankets explanation: it's because of the GREAT Sensory experience of the weight of the blankets (it's comforting) and the cold room is so that being under the blankets doesn't get uncomfortable. Also, the "distance" of being hidden under the blanket pile is secure feeling. Sensory pleasure is huge because we, in that moment, don't "need" anything else other than that for satisfaction.

"I didn't even know it was a confrontation until you started crying" 🤣🤣🤣

Type 5 Sensory Pleasures: As a type 5, I'm happiest when I light a scented candle and let it burn for a couple of hours. Also, I have a certain type of scented soap I like to bathe with because of it's scent. I like the feel of a cool room and snuggling under warm blankets with a fan blowing on me. I love eating spicy food. I prefer my bananas to have a certain ripeness to them and my apples to have a certain crispiness to them. I enjoy my cup of coffee at a certain temperature. I love being outside in Fall when the leaves turn colors of red, orange and yellow and how they appear against the blue sky. I love having a fire in the fireplace and the popping sounds the wood makes as it burns, also the feel of the heat and the smell that it gives off.

I'm a 5. I think "sensory pleasures" makes sense because we are so sensitive to sensory stimuli. Something that was 'sensory pleasurable' sure would be nice since I find most 'sensory' stuff (sounds, smells, lights, etc) generally overwhelming and irritating. So pleasurable sensory stimuli would please me very much, yes. This would be like gentle things, natural smells, low lighting, peace and quiet, simple things, etc. Nothing overwhelming! And yes I can NEVER have too much alone time.

4w5 here. Here's the thing about clothing - it is definitely an expression of our internal state. The word "arsenal" comes to my mind. I wear black on days I want to be left alone or feel super serious. And colorful, playful, accessorized outfits on days I feel that way. And we most definitely just want to be accepted for who we are. It pains me to write this. This rejection sensitivity is so real & at the same time with our need to be authentically ourselves, this clash is so painful. We are non-judgmental & are there for people in their darkest moments, we are comfortable to bear those heavy emotions, yet when we bare our souls we are instantly rejected. It's tough being a 4.

Just reflecting on what energizes the 9. Definitely the comfort especially for a self preservation type 9. However not the sleep. As a 9 I can see how the sleep could be used for escapism or zoning out, preferring not to deal with something while making it look like a legitimate need or procrastinating from doing something else. I have possibly used reading books in this way. Above all, I think kindness energizes a 9.

I am a 4 and as I read through the comments, I do think it’s funny that all us 4s feel as if we weren’t represented well in this video. As we all know this is a 4s greatest frustration. I agree, I felt like you two came from such a great place but I found myself becoming frustrating by describing our self expression as unauthentic or us just being victims that complain about our illnesses in social media. I am also an extremely consistent person. I could eat the same thing every day, I wear the same colors, pink and green have been my favorite since I was young. I have had the same hobbies and interest. 4s usually become obsessed with one thing and stick to it. So when you said we would wear one color and then the next day wear rainbow and we would be upset that you don’t know that this was always our favorite color. That’s not quite right. It’s more like my room is all pink and green, my childhood bike was pink and green. My hair is pink and my glasses are green. Then other numbers come along and say “you like pink?” And we’re like 😳 you don’t notice me do you? For me I work so hard at what I do and to be seen is the greatest gift I could ever get. I am a screenwriter and if someone read my script and told me it’s great, that’s nice but if someone said “I really enjoyed the punchline in this moment because blank” that would make my life. We are also more than that too. 4s are caretakers, because we are extreme in emotion we want to be there for the people we love and see other people for what they are because that’s what we want. If you break your leg I would drive you to the ER, run home and walk your dog and feed them. I would set up your bed so you could keep your leg up and I would take care of you for anything you needed, even if you needed space.

8 here. What energizes me as well is seeing the people closest to me become better and stronger. I feel a deep sense of joy for them. Btw, I don’t like being the boss. It puts me in a position of needing to amplify my strength which is intense already. Very counter-productive relationally. I become worried coming off as an asshole to everyone (because I can come off that way), but I easily get this boss role always and get glorified.

I am only 9 mins in and have to say, as a 9w8, that your description of how a 3 wanst to share and energise others with what they've done or are doing to share it with enthusuasm, is exactly what I do! That shows me that I am using my 3 in healthy ways! I've lived a lot of life, being female in my 6th decade, and no matter how much stress and difficulty I go through I bounce right back, and the fabulous things I'm doing, or have done, I love to share the good stuff. I'm a creative, btw: artist, writer, inspired designer, hard worker who knows how to veg out, lol! I have been into the enneagram maybe a month and continually watch your videos, Tom, and Kaylees too, and am learning heaps. Thank you! Have read four enneagram books so far and am sharing those, too!

So often we 5's are described as living only in our heads. They explain away tendencies like having only a few clothes, eating the sames foods over and over or liking to hear the same music as us not connecting to the world. I think you explain it better. These things are sensory pleasures - our food, our clothes, our music. It's not that we are neglecting the world - we just know what we like.

The enneagram shows us we can be our own worse enemy. As a type 5, I use gathering knowledge to cope and deal with my anxieties of inadequacy/potential incompetence. However, that makes me feel worse, and even though I know the literal best thing I can do for myself is go outside and interact with the world, the mental hurdle is so huge. I can see why alcohol may be a problem for 5s, as when I drink a little, I feel like my overactive mind is removed from the equation, and I become an upbeat, loving person with a childlike wonder at the world. This is also why mindfulness mediation is so beneficial for type 5s as well.

I am a 6 , usually I worry al the time about everything. If things work out ,I am very happy and surprised. .😂😂

Watching this in July 2020. I'm a Six, and the whole world has become jello -- no stability at all. Coronavirus, racism issues boiling over, lost my brother to cancer a month ago, have had health issues, and my adult son decided to move out of our house and in with friends. Thank God my husband's job is secure (as far as I know, for now at least). But all of it has rocked me off my pins (even WITH Jesus as my foundation), and I am feeling completely drained. Affirmation for me is listening to me and not invalidating my feelings. Letting me know I'm okay, my world is going to be okay, you'll be here for me no matter what. Telling me I'm not crazy because I NEED TO BE PREPARED. My aforementioned son is a Five. When you mentioned "sensory pleasures", he totally relates to that. His big thing is TEA, and good food. And, unfortunately, he developed stomach issues when in Papua New Guinea working for Wycliffe (had to come home after a dangerous bout of dysentery that messed things up), and he can't enjoy the foods he used to, nor drink the kinds of tea he loves (which are all caffeinated, which irritates the digestive tract). So, yeah, that drains his energy, too. (I have to mention, when my son was able to drink tea, he didn't just drink tea -- it was the whole "tea tasting" idea, very much influenced by the Japanese and Chinese methods of tea drinking, that you do it intentionally, you savor it, very much like wine tasting, and you allow it to be an experience, not just "enjoying some good tea." He did quite a bit of research on how to "do tea right." These felt right on as far as what does energize Fives and Sixes!

Honestly, (and I really do love y’all’s work) you didn’t really get the 4 lol. And I know that’s a 4 cliché. But an 8 especially trying to tell a 4 what energizes and motivates them is always going to come off scornful, like I can hear the disdain in the “hopeless romantic” comment. 4’s I think are most energized when someone sees them for who they really are. Someone who can look past the everyday struggles that don’t indicate anything real and see the person of value underneath it all. 4’s are Simba needing Mufasa to show up in the clouds and see us for who we really are. We need Nala to believe in us even when we don’t because they see us for who we really are. You want to motivate a 4? Be the person who sees value in their being and not in their utility. (8’s and 1’s especially go tilt at that statement.) Utility and usefulness are cheap values. Even lustfully cheap. Being is the most precious of values. It’s like other types take it as a given that we all (all people) just are, and the value is in their doing. But it’s not just a given that people “are” because it’s obvious to us 4’s that so many people “are not” because all they are focused on is doing and not being. Those people aren’t. And I mean that, it’s those people who are robotic, there’s nothing inside but preprogrammed nonsense. You want to energize a 4? Stop valuing them for what they can do for you and start valuing them for who they are.

I am a 9, but I hate naps! Everytime I accidentally take a nap (I don't take them on purpose because they suck) I wake up so exhausted and with a feeling that I have missed a part of a day and it is bringing me down a lot..

My dad's an Eight and I smiled Big as I listened to her intro. She's just ON IT. I needed to see this today. The interaction between you two is so much more than sweet. This brought the joy on. My sincere thanks to the both of you. ❤️

As an 8 I was expecting someone to have time stamped each number. Let’s go folks!

This is my fave video on your channel out of all the videos I've seen so far on your channel. I think there's two reasons why. One, I think having both you and your daughter made the video more interesting. It was fun hearing both of your perspectives and seeing you bounce ideas off of each other. Two, Because type 8 is one of the types that I understand the least, seeing your daughter and hearing her explain type 8 as she experiences it really gave me much more insight into type 8 and I feel like I understand type 8s a lot better now!

As a type 9, it shocked me to hear her say that many people are energized by discomfort instead of comfort 🤯

The 5's sensory pleasure - absolutely! It can even excite me or just comfort me so much. It's very specific stuff, for examle: the sound of oboe, bass guitar solos, specific songs, touch of moss, specific tastes or smells usually asociated with something - like smell of river when I go kayaking. Or I love to wrap myself in a conforter the way it contours my entire body.

I'm a 5w4. Definitely Sensory Pleasure is important. I have a view of ocean from my living room where I work. I have beautiful (in my view) paintings on all walls, e.g. Klimt, Van Gogh, Monet, etc. I listen to only classical and jazz stations on radio all day long. I have incense, essential oils, sage, etc. burning once a day. My laundry has a boost of fragrance, and I Fabreeze my bed everyday. These "sensory pleasures" enrich my environment and certainly bring me peace, and are there in place of "people pleasure" because I don't have many people in my circle.

I'm an INFJ in the MBTI and an Enneagram 5w6. Se (extroverted sensing) is our inferior cognitive function so if we're energized by sensory pleasure it ain't gonna be a good one. We basically feel like walking consciousness who don't have bodies. But true to form, I gather all the knowledge I can on personality typing, 😁

To me, I might be a 9 or 4 (not entirely sure), but what energizes me is not really naps. To be honest, I don't really like how 9's are always associated with naps and comfort items. Yes, I do like these things, but I don't think that they necessarily energize me. What energizes me is when people value what I am doing and that I am seen and appreciated. (But I did love hearing both of ya'lls thoughts)

Type 4 fan here! I am loving your videos and amazed at how often you hit the nail on the head! Grace is fabulous and I hope you get together a lot more often. When you mentioned fun and paused over how challenging it is to define, it made me want to suggest that you do one of your “for each type” talks on what is fun. How does each type perceive it and what role it plays in their existence. Tia. Barbara

I'm a bit late to the party here, but I have some insight on the 4 and specifically how we relate to "the truth" in relation to the 8. As a 4w5, I've found that I perceive and pursue truth in abstract ideology. I think the 8 is often more grounded and seeks truth and authenticity in what is immediately present (as you expressed), but the 4, being more attached to feeling, looks for truth "beyond the physical". A good example is in occupations. Even if you imagine both as scientists, 8s would make excellent chemists, where 4s would make better astrophysicists as they're as content with theory as they are with hard truth.

This was great!!! I'd love to see a video on the relationship between 9's and 3's. You touched on it a second there with 3 being very goal oriented (my husband) and 9's wanting comfort and peace. I think it drives my husband crazy that I don't have specific goals...but we are both more withdrawn about conflict and avoid it. Anyway, love your videos SO much!!!!

8 here, agree that we get pushed into leadership instead of seeking it! I have a degree in cinematography but ended up a director 😅 I think it's because we tend to be perceived as "the responsible adult in the room" cause we see the big goal and want efficiency and actually do something about it. Like you mention with "firing Marty", I think everyone else knows he's not doing his job but they're too nice or too lazy to do anything about it, then an 8 comes up and solves the problem and the rest of the group will be like phew, finally, yeah let's just listen to this person. I think 8s tend to become the informal leader often, like if there's a formal leader who may or may not do the job well, if there's an 8 in the group they will end up having more influence/authority than the official leader. Unless they're super unhealthy maybe? I dunno, I'm 8w9 and there's always a strong "don't be a jerk" voice in my head. Takes a lot of work to listen to it, though.

On point - what energizes a 4, speaking for myself, it the THRILL and joy of deep rich level emotional, connection, and understanding, authentically expressed - masterfully well - and shared in a way that is appreciated and enriching to all. Experienced intimately in a relationship and performed. OH MAN - that's jack pot. I can see how that ticks all the 4 boxes, plus the wings and 1 and 2 points in a healthy, integrated, nurturing way. Metaphor - "scuba diving with a best friend and presenting the fascinating finds creatively for others to relish, and be loved /appreciated in the process. I remembering visiting the MIM museum in Arizona, and watching/seeing a sacred native American dance from a tribe that portrayed a sacred whale song... The communion of sacred, and natural, in a was that perceived, then glorified through art - authentic and unique - then shared... yeah - ticked all the right boxes. It was inspiring.

I love your videos with your daughter! You together are awesome!

Omg yes all the way with the 9's comfort, peace, & naps! I can't be energized to complete a task if I'm physically uncomfortable, it's a real struggle to get through the work day if I'm stuck working with certain coworkers that have a tendency toward drama, & if I'm truly dragging there's nothing like a 10 minute power nap to get me back up & running again!

Great video! I'm a 9 and naps are energizing but really I've found that just closing my eyes and relaxing my body and mind for 10 minutes is enough. I don't need to fall asleep.

As a 3, the analogy you made about coming home for the 9 comfort, after chasing goals all day, omg. It hit deeply. :)) It explains why I find it so hard to risk conflict on the home premises. I don't mind it, conflict is necessary at times - it is after all part of the communication process when two or more people try to find common grounds. However, creating tension at home is an idea that fiercely determines me to overthink a strategical approach in communication, which may even end up with me shutting my mouth and take it with a grain of salt. For the better good. For temporary peace. It doesn't happen often to get there at all, but just the fact that it does... Hah. Yeah. Home. Thank you, you lovelies!

TO SUMMARIZE my long comment, ADD THESE TO THE LIST of what energizes a Type 4: Recognition, Self-expression, Deep Conversations, Emotional Intimacy, and being understood or seen for who they are. ...As a 4 myself, I have to 100% agree with @Robyn's comment that "what energizes a 4 is being seen and accepted for who they are. 4's like to be recognized." I agree with the video, too, that "creativity, emotions, and authenticity" energize a type 4; I'm not disagreeing with the video, but I think almost just as important, if not more important, is being seen and understood for exactly who we are, and especially getting recognition!! Having recognition is really important to me, but maybe that might be more of a 4w3 thing and less of 4w5 thing, I'm not sure. Secondly, I also have to wholeheartedly agree with Robyn on this part of what she says, too: "I think it's a misconception that 4's think they're unique and no one else is, even though there's truth in that, I think 4's are STARVED for intimacy and the knowledge of how others are weird and unique too. They want connection, to feel that they're not outsiders." I agree. Basically, I, myself, want to know that others are weird and different too in their own way because it makes me feel better about myself like I'm not as flawed and not as defective, and it's a relief, and also because it helps me feel like I'm not alone and like I'm not the only one. Also, "STARVED for intimacy" yes I agree. For this reason, I love deep conversations (I would even say "deep conversations" are another way of energizing the type 4!) and I always want to have deeper friendships than most people do, which can be tough and sometimes make me feel slightly alienated from others because often times I feel like others dont want a deeper friendship, they're just content with their somewhat surface-level friendships or what they probably consider normal friendships. Sometimes I feel like hardly anybody really truly wants to connect, whether it means hanging out more frequently and/or creating a deeper bond in the friendship, and/or truly trying to truly understand each other. Lastly, as far as what things energize a type 4, I would even dare to say replace the word "creativity" with "self-expression." I think the word or phrase 'self-expression' hits the nail on the nose and is even more accurate than the word 'creativity' because the whole point of being "creative" (for a type 4, at least in my opinion) is to be able to express oneself or have an outlet for self-expression. "Creativity" is more just the outcome/end-result, but the "self-expression" is the cause/reason behind it. :) .....EDIT/ADD-ON: I sometimes feel weird speaking for "type 4s" in general because I know I'm not the typical type 4 as I am more extroverted, whereas most 4s are introverts. I'm a Social subtype (SO) and I believe my "Tritype" (if anyone here believes in tritype theory) is probably 461 or 416. So maybe it's the "6" part of my tritype that makes me want to feel connected with people more than the typical 4 in combination with being a "SO" subtype. I'm a So/Sx/Sp to be exact. And I'm probably 4w3 but honestly I don't relate much to either of my wings. In other words I don't relate to 5 nor 3 very much.

I am a 9....and your channel has been one of the only times I've felt understood 👌 🙌 I try to explain why I am the way I am to others, but they just don't get it. I feel bulldozed when trying to talk and I get mad, but I rarely speak up to compete in a conversation. I just shut down if I'm interrupted or talked over more than a couple times. I instantly know I'm not valued or cared about by this person. I feel everyone needs to be fair. I talk, then you talk, back and forth like kind people who value each other's opinions and thoughts. You also have said that #9 can lose their identity by going along with other people's plans. I honestly don't care what we do. I'm just happy to go along. I can be happy anywhere. If I'm letting others plan things, then I don't have to take responsibility for the outcome if others aren't happy with the plans. I can finally understand why I didn't even realize that is what happened to me. I didn't know what I liked anymore. I didn't know what i wanted to do as a profession. I didn't know who I was anymore because I always let others make the choices and plans. I had no preference. All I want to do is have everyone get along and be happy and have fun, or at least peaceful....please no drama or conflict! I love that I can be happy and have fun anywhere I go and I rarely ever insist on my way. I was married to a highly abusive man for 12 years. He was a narcissist, borderline sociopath. He definitely has no conscious at all. But being a 9, I can see how this 9 personality played right into his hands. I let him control and abuse me. In the beginning of our dating,, I didn't mind just going along with whatever he wanted. I just wanted to avoid conflict. I forgave easily too. I did all the things that 9's do. I didn't know that being this way was setting up my life for a person to take control of me. Had I known about the enneagram and I was a 9 back then, I could have learned about myself and what a healthy 9 was. I would have known how to help myself as a 9. I believe this would have possibly prevented me from being abused. Maybe in the future, you could look into the abuse of others on the enneagram numbers. If that could help one person prevent themselves from getting into a abusive relationship, it would be worth it. Abuse changes a person for life. Finally, I feel validated for why I am the way I am. It feels great knowing I have other #9 tribe members out there. I know that we'd get along . 😆 lol Thank you so much for helping us. It is making a huge difference in my life :)

as a 2 I'd say the thing that energizes me most is being able to help people who are seriously distressed. its that need to be needed

You are dead on about the 8, 9, and 1. They are considered the anger triad. I am a 9. I learn a lot from your videos and love integrating it with my understanding of things.

I’m a 9 and even though I love all that, those things only make me fall asleep and I LOVE to sleep... But what truly energizes me is laugh. I get energized when I am surrounded by good humor.

Been watching this whole video (As a type 9) waiting for you to get to type 9 so tired looking to hear what energizes me and you say comfort, peace, and naps I LITERALLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD! I'm at work though so I can't nap😭

Sometimes we 9s need to power down. Feeling everything is exhausting sometimes.

I relate most with the 5. I hate people invading my space with the exception of those few people I have vetted and found worthy of said space. I require lots of uninterrupted alone time and find pleasure in the sensory like a campfire in a quiet place or quality food or music or movies but what gets my heart pumping is research. I find researching my favorite topics fun....Thanks for your videos they are both informative and calming!!!

I think 4’s have to be true to themselves in all aspects of their lives in order to preserve their sense of identity. This seems inherently hard to do so though because they are always changing, reaching and always trying to define themselves. So with the clothes example it might seem superficial or fake to those who don’t know them well but the 4’s wouldn’t have anything to gain by doing so. They are just being themselves by expressing what they feel in any given moment.

Tom, your daughters Kaylee and Grace are so in character as 9 and 8, it's great to witness, and helps me with the enneagram so much! I'm 9w8 and have strong characteristics with both girls. Grace is hillarious! Now I know where my wicked sense of humour comes from...my 8-ness! Also my husband is an 8 so am really understanding him much better than I have in 22 years. Thank you! Re-9's and naps: Yeah, I need to slow down and ruminate on all that's been happening, or just don't want to know full stop, but all of my creative ideas come in my alone time on my bed with no one bothering me. Then when something is fully formed (I can do 3D imaging in my head) I jump up energised and go get that thing done and I do it well.

I love your videos! Just to clarify something: you said that 9s don't notice or care what 2s do. That is absolutely untrue, at least for me. I notice and appreciate it very much. When everyone is doing their part, life is a beautiful dance and I'm so at peace. I just may not always voice my appreciation because I'm an introvert. I'm working on that.

Thanks for these great videos. They’re so helpful

I'm a 9 and I agree with some other comments on here about naps. I don't ever nap but the "zone out" or daydream is a huge part of who I am and how I recharge.

Just discovered your channel (and enneagrams!), and it's been so eye opening.

Sensory pleasures to me, as a five, fits within some of the examples you listed. I also like my room cold and will do things just to feel them. Usually they are just much more specific than most of my friends or family will appreciate. For example, this one time I was driving through Nebraska and pulled off the road to stretch my legs. The gravel road I was walking on had the most satisfying *crunch* sound beneath my feet; like it sounded exactly like what you hear in a western movie. It was so satisfying that I just walked on the gravel road for a little while for no other reason than to listen to the sound of walking on that gravel road. And I was in bliss for those couple minutes. So I interpret sensory pleasures as really specific stimulation for my senses that nobody else will really appreciate; and something about that makes it that much more satisfying.

5 here - I lol'ed at the description of your son's sensory preferences because I'm right there with him. I keep my place at 65 year-round and sleep with a blanket in summer. Kinda wishing I had one of those mats your wife has. My big sensory pleasure is being outdoors - I love hiking in the mountains solo or taking long walks on sunny but crisp days while listening to audiobooks. Thanks for these videos!

I"m a 5 and its funny what you said about 5's for I'm sitting here trying to get time alone curled up in a blanket watching you both to learn more about 5's while playing a game, solitaire because its a stimulating game you play by yourself. I noticed you both had a hard time understanding 5's. One thing I say about myself is that I tend to scare people. I don't mean to, I really do won't to connect but to connect I want to get to deeper discussions and most people just talk superficially, that's a waste of time.

You are so right about the 5! I lived with a 5 who, at age 16, bought a 10 lb block of chocolate and some bunny rabbit furs. She would lock herself in her room for hours after school every day to read books in bed while wearing only the bunny fur (with fur against skin) and nibbling on chocolate bar which lasted 9 months.

Thanks for this fun, enlightening and inspiring lesson. Really helpful.

Hi! 4 here. You are pretty correct about how you describe the difference between 4 and 8. 4 truth is often based upon how I am feeling right now. This is why our lens about the truth shifts. It always feels true to us at the moment we are saying it but tomorrow we might have additional feelings surrounding the issue at hand and our truth will be different. It is not intentional at all but I can understand now after watching your videos why it would be frustrating to others.

I'm a 5. You'd mentioned about the 60° room. I do the same and I'm fairly certain that for me it's about security. It's about being shielded from the cold world on the other side of that blanket.

From all my research and instrospection I've concluded that I am 2w3 and often like the good sides of a 4 strive to be accepted for what makes me different and have way more depth then people give me credit for or that I would tend to show unless I sense it's the right time.

24:00 min, I totally agree. I have “started” lawn care, and a wood working biz. On top of havei g a full time job and school full time. Commitment and follow through are not easy.

I think your nuance about the 4 was a really good one-- I've been lied to the most by 4s and 3s, I think because they want to present an image and things that lie outside of that image, there is sometimes an inclination to lie about them.

Thank you for the observations and concrete examples!

Wow, I just now realised why I find it hard to answer what my hobby is. As a 7, how I love to start something and get excited about it. But, it only lasts a couple of months at most. For so long I've wanted to have at least one long term hobby...😑

I hate naps as a 9. I'm energized when my environment is pretty and everyone around me is happy, or when I accomplish something big. If I have to deal with a bunch of people, I need to veg out and be alone for at least 3 days to get back to normal. I don't feel like that energizes me though, it just helps me to function again lol.

I'm 5w4 Sx/Sp. I'm energised by being alone (obviously!), listening to music and being absorbed into it emotionally and imaginatively. I like to watch youtube videos and trawl the internet learning whatever it is I'm interested in at the time, always learning and getting excited my excavations (I then take these excavations into the world to dump on unsuspecting people). I like sensation provoking things like long warm showers or hour long hot baths, or snuggling in clean bedsheets. I'm very aesthetic and like to have my senses stimulated. New and great food energises me too, gets me excited and passsionate.

8s and 4s and authenticity, theyre super freedom oriented, but i like the word "authenticity" for this. It really connects with the creativity of the 4

I wanted to talk about authenticity as a 4. What it means to be authentic is to be who you are and not say/do something because of it's the social norm. People expect you to talk or act a certain way and a 4 is supposed to mold themselves to be that when they are not. 4's can be different in their behavior and because of it others will see them as being "weird" when that's just who they are. I've hidden myself due to past experiences less I'd be criticized again for being myself and I came to believe there was something wrong with me. So when I see someone being authentic (being themselves and not saying/doing something to fit in) I like seeing that because they are true to who they are and deep down it's something I want for myself. In some of the enneagram literature they say that a 4's basic fear is to have no identity but I think it's more accurate to say they fear being rejected. Since they've been rejected for who they are in the past they will latch onto, as Grace was saying, onto certain qualities that people will accept and approve of. I can see why the enneagram teachers use the term identity with 4's because in a sense they've shut down who they are (authentic) and now they have to find some "quality" that they can build a sense of self around. I believed that those qualities whether it be how someone looks, how smart they are, how successful they are were the corner stones of a person's worth when that's not the case at all. A person's natural energy is what's important and what you could call the True Self. Since we are all born with our own natural energy then any way we can facilitate it's freedom and growth can be one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and others.

As a recently discovered 9, the comfort and peace and naps are spot on. We were missionaries in Brazil and I started taking an afternoon nap. I couldn't believe how restoring the naps were. On the other hand, after stressful times with lots of people, noise, movement, I find it hard to relax and get to sleep. Wonder what that means?

Thank you Dr.Tom ... I am a two you gave me so much to make my life realy worth it.

The other day I listened to Tom’s description of Types made inserted that a song for 4’s would be ‘I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For’. That really made a lot of sense! I would add tat a song for 5’s would be ‘I Am A Rock I Am An Island’ by Simon & Garfunkel! (I am married to a 5. 38 years. )

my 5 sensory pleasures = music, sex, food, aesthetics. I keep my room cold as well ☺️ sometimes TV (documentaries about mysteries or history, music videos, shows I love)

30:55 So true! Some of us really want that reassurance that we did well from an outside voice/authority. Also, on the 9's, totally agree!

I totally agree with the analogy of 8s being leaders because I am an eight and I don't ever want to be a leader but because I'm always in the front of the crowd I end up leading other people. I end up being a leader because people are following but I do best when I manage product not people.

I love that your 8 daughter is married to a 9. I'm a 9w1, and I was married to an 8w7 for 10 years until my (unhealthy) 9-ness proved to be too much (or maybe not enough) for her. I will say that while naps don't "energize" me, when I get stressed out, it does make me physically exhausted.

i think a problem that 5's have is they do consume knowledge but sometimes the knowledge isn't necessarily ''scholarly'' or useful at all, like a 3 or 1 might also consume knowledge but they're doing it with an end goal whereas I notice 5's just consuming EVERYTHING in general. Information overload. so they have all these random facts and knowledge just simply by absorbing things. It can be cool but I think it's easy to get lost and overwhelmed in that as well. Not to mention the 5, I believe, can hide in their books and studying and just useless information, hide from the outside world. They dislike being intruded upon as you say in the video, they can sort of just become a hermit due to this. Especially if they're in a stressful situation.

Affirmation, progress and stability... Yeah. Especially affirmation in my case. Those three words almost come in cronological order haha, some kind of cycle. Makes me wonder, if I were able to receive this affirmation need from my own, more often, maybe I'd feel safer and "motivated" (or something similar to that). If a six were able to find stability from within... Welp. I was able to affirm something to myself a few days ago and I actually believed it, so, were making some progress. The feeling of motivation is still pretty small compared to when it comes from other people, but at least I was able to not try to debunk it immediatly. I try to debate it whether it comes from myself or from others, but it's still something. Thanks again for the content.🍃

2w1 here, though that's irrelevant. Great video. Thank you. I think, I've never met an 8. Grace is so unusual, energetic, powerful, a little scary and very interesting to get to know. The topic about projects sounded for me like this: 7 - generates an idea(s), 4 - adds uniqueness to it, 6 - finds problems with it, 5 - gathers data to make it possible, 8 - starts (propells) the whole process, 3 - gets the job done in time, 1 - jets the job done good, 2 - does whatever should be done (works on the project, gives hugs and snacks, etc.), 9 - tries to extinguish all the conflicts...

"I didn't even know this was a conflict until you started crying" 😂 my relationship with an 8. Definitely helped me grow though! Much better at conflict now as a 9

I genuinely believe that the fatal flaw for fours is they believe their emotions are ultimate truth over reason, facts, or the words of loved ones. The biggest breakthrough moment is to come to the realization that emotions are to function as dashboard lights indicating something needs to be addressed, rather than being the actual force driving the car. Fours give their emotions too much control over their thoughts and actions and tend to find their identity in powerful emotions. Contentment tends to be ranked as a milder experience, and is therefore lesser in value. Mental habits that produce happiness take the same amount of work as the habits that produce melancholy and sometimes self pity, but to a four who has been practicing self-pity sessions (for example in their journaling and creative introspection time perhaps), it will initially feel like more effort to start the habits of focusing on what will produce happiness and a sense of well being and contentment. So a healthy integrated 4 will probably turn their back on the habits that produce highly emotional experiences and will start to do the mundane and methodical work of being self disciplined to focus and dwell on what is good and noble and praiseworthy. In other words, feelings feel like the truest truth, but they sometimes lie and you can't live by them but you also can't suppress them. The most powerful thing for me as a four was to have someone validate my experiences, help me walk through forgiveness, and interrupt me when I'm about to repeat the same train of thought again. (In counseling specifically).

Most of the ones you listed what motivates someone to perform well, but with 9's you say they are energized by sleeping but not what motivates them. I'm a 9, and while I do love my peace and equilibrium, that isn't what motivates me. Maybe it's some wing or integration toward 3, or maybe my health issues are screwing with my numbers (I used to test as a 5w4, now a 9) but I am equally motivated by my interests, skills, and knowledge being valued and useful AND motivated to create equilibrium in others -- in other words, by a need to keep everyone else from having temper tantrums over their desires not being met, not by sleeping!

As a 5, sensory pleasure to me means music, particularly classical music. Since fives are often emotionally detached, I find it helps me connect to my emotions. Also, I do enjoy playing video games, hints my account name.

As a 6 stability is key, unexpected changes in our workday tend to fluster us, along with any unsettled matter that looms overhead. We need a plan and the ability to follow it. Affirmation is confirmation that we are doing things correctly, meeting expectations etc. Successfully heading off some reprimand or conflict about our performance. Progress is essential, we keep ourselves busy so any time or energy wasted is a cause for frustration. Like I hated it when I'd go to work and they'd say "we might send you home early and we don't have anything productive for you to do right now, but we're not ready to let you leave yet so just find something to keep busy until we decide." Things building up on our to-do list causes anxiety and a feeling of getting behind.

I'm a 5 and was initially surprised to hear "sensory pleasures" cited as a motivator for us. But upon reflection, it makes sense. For example, I'm sensitive to both ASMR and misophonia, and know of other 5s who are as well.

I am a 9 and I think you forgot to mention some significant motivators: any task that I assume will lead to avoiding conflicts or making other people feel more comfortable carries an extra motivation with it; f.e. being a good host, perparing well for a meeting...

as a 9, i always get the most work done if I have breaks in between. i don't but if I did I think that would definitely help me rebuild energy in between tasks

For 5s I think sensory pleasure can mean working with your hands. New creative projects keep you learning new skills, which satisfies the information part of 5s, and using the sensory skill, becoming better at it, is more healthy for us than eating or drink too much😉

My wife is an 8, and she loves naps (like takes one everyday when she can) I’m a 9, and I never take naps (I’ve always hated naps) All the other ways totally line up, and I had never realized how much I was motivated by comfort. My wife doesn’t always get it :) she just does it cuz it needs being done. Lol

As a 5, I am really into Ted X videos like you said watching KZfaq and learning and with sensory I like songs that have been made 8d on KZfaq and listen with headphones lol

5 Sensory pleasure - patting my cats.... drinking gooooood hot coffee.... or Twinings English Breakfast tea with a touch of milk :)

Neurodivergent 5 here..."sensory pleasures" for me include things like taking a bath with bath bombs, relatively spicy food, crochet (for the visual of the colors and the feel of the yarn) and certain kinds of 8D music

As a four, I’m worried that my slow pace will frustrate everyone. That I don’t have my cart organized, that I’m in the way. That I’m not acting in a way that’s earning respect. Ps Self preservation 4

I’m a nine and I’ve only napped when I have a severe illness. I embrace discomfort consciously to grow. Deep level true trust is peace, not a shallow comfort. It has to reflect integrity and be real. Thus we have the ethics of the instinctual center like the 8s and 1s. I don’t like it when nines are treated as shallow.

I'm totally 5 as you described. But with my puppy. A bit of 4 I think, hopeless romantic, but I need a lot of alone time, read or watch documentaries or films about certain topics. And silence. Need silence a lot. And I get the person you described with the headphones in the cold room. I prefer a bit of cold to keep me comfortable. I would be listening to history podcast in me case :D

Yep, I think you described a 5. Walking on acupressure mats while listening to audio books in 60' temperature. Sounds about right.😁

If there's drama, a nap helps us 9's recharge ... drama and lack of peace drains our energy. Imagine 9's like a phone with a battery that drains fast and a nap is like plugging back into the charger. However, I'm a wing 8 and I very much understand the anger towards injustice. One of the few things that will get me riled up is getting taken advantage of or feeling unfairly judged... or seeing it happen to someone I love.

“I didn’t even know it was a confrontation until you started crying.” 😂 Sounds like my Dad, who’s an 8. I’m a 6.

im pretty sure im a 9... i love naps, but unfortunatly my kid does not😅 once when i was in kindergarden a man called in to tell them, that there was a kid sleeping in the grass, ofcourse it was me 😂😂 i remember playing at a friends house, and then thinking about going home to sleep, in the middle of the day🤷‍♀️🙈 sleeping used to be my hobby... i miss it zzzzzzz

As a 4w5, personally, I don't nor ever have: recognized the NEED to be different or perceived as different, in fact, I've struggled to relate, "fit in" until I just gave up. I DO feel it is beneath my moral integrity to NOT "dance to my own drummer" I feel it is actually painful not to do so, and really offensive when others have the GAUL to tell me A) what my drummer is or B) how I should dance. To not be true to oneself is like murdering one of God's children - unacceptable. The rules of compassionate conduct and harmony - to me - are sacred. It's when the rules are antithetical to Love, Harmony and Beauty - then they are well, evil, and don't have to be followed. I believe in obedience, but not blind obedience. Obedience to the truth, what is holy - including self integrity. Just because there is a rule or everybody else is doing it, or that one has the freedom to do XYZ, doesn't make it right. "Know the reasons behind rules, so you know when to break them." Dali Lama - so as a 4, in the interest of integrity and greater good picture - I follow the rules, but not if it goes against what I perceive as holy. As a 4w5 I am certainly energized by feelings, expression, authenticity, integrity, compassion, sharing, evolution of integrity (heart, mind, body, sacred, social, individual harmony/cooperation/congruent behavior BUT can be upset when the integrity is missing. As a 4w5 I feel compelled and energized to express feeling (mines.others) as it seems to be the color some others tend to be color blind towards - but needed to be brought forth - in situations. That is why it can be depressing and so gutting, when others don't appreciate, value or recognize that.

I have a friend who is an eight! I must agree with the comment @3:05. Thank you!

I was in line yesterday and the cashier was elaborating all the wonderful things about great perks program (that the person is not part of) and went on TOO long as the person wanted to walk away, so I started repacking my cart to go to another line. She eventually said HI and I replied "oh......are you ready?!" she said "yeah I'm ready!" not realizing I was irritated.

Cuddling is a big energizer to me as a 5.