I love you Gary!! I was living a little bit in my safe zone back in Devon and was too scared to get out there and make something more with my life but i am so fucking happy i just bit the bullet and moved here!!

I totally got this video. I have my safe place both my bedroom and my mind. I'm surrounded by my things, my collections and memories. And like you I have friends 10+ years younger. But I don't mind, I enjoy their company, and they enjoy mine. I also very consciously keep away from everyone else's drama, I don't need that in my life. My life can be lonely and simple, but it's mine and I'm living it. 😃

You made some really good points. I completely relate to the feeling of living in the past, because even if it was bad then - it feels better than now.

Oh Gary, I do love you. I feel like you. I spend most of my time in my room (due to anxiety and being introverted) surrounded by things that are my escapisms - like my books, my tsum tsums (I don't have as many as you mind), my notebooks etc. It's great to watch someone who really gets what its like. You are a gem x

I can really relate to what your saying here. I live my life through my future dreams and past instead of living in the present moment. I recently re-watched The hunchback of Notre Dame and this line really hit me: Laverne: "Life's not a spectators sport. If watching's all your gunna do, then your gunna watch your life go by without ya!"Beautiful line.

I feel exactly the same but I help more people than I help myself and it does set me back. I get too lost in other peoples problems that I forget to sort out my own. Your words are very inspirational. I am friends with people older than me because I feel like they understand me better as they have gone through all the stuff I'm going through right now. From. I could say I'll help myself out instead of others when in reality all I care about is other people and I would never put myself first.

This video had such a strong message! Loved it!

I relate to this so much Gary. I've spent so much of my life dreaming I was someone else, or if I've gone through a hard time I'd be so nostalgic. Even now for example I'll watch Winnie the Pooh and old Disney films like I used to when I was a child, because it takes me back to those days when I didn't have any worries and when I was happier, anything to escape the reality of right now. My advice to anyone who feels like that is to realise how beautiful your life really is. We constantly compare our lives to other people's lives but in reality we don't know what they are going through, and that person who you think has the perfect life might think the same thing about you. Life really can be beautiful when you embrace the positives and focus on what makes you happy xx

Literally in tears once again... So inspiring

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately! So good to see someone else talking about it. Here's a quote I found a while ago that I try to remind myself of sometimes, and I think you'd benefit from it too: "You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection." (Buddha)

I was completely composed untill you said 'Choose you', because I've never thought of it like that. I've spent my whole life escaping (to the point I stuggle with dissociation and a serious lack of identity) and I don't think I've ever realised that my escapes that I cling to, no matter how wonderful and essential they feel, are probably pulling me further away from my recovery than progressing me further. Thank you Gary, honestly. ♥

I am so into the idea of escapism. SO much. I am OBSESSED with Alice in Wonderland, and everything Tim Burton for this precise idea. It's nice to get away from the struggles and stress of reality. Whatever your form of escapism, you do you.

Unbelievably positive vibes and love from this human to you, Gary. I'm so happy to see you 'keep going' :) You're amazing. Do you, boo.

I relate to this video so much! Literally everything - feeling like you've missed out on certain milestones growing up, holding on to the past way too much, getting lost in the lives of celebrities and other people so you don't have to think about your own - it's all exactly how I am. I managed to pull myself out of my sanctuary to go to university when I was 22 and things got slightly better, but I graduate this year and I'm moving back home because I don't want to be alone in London, and I'm so scared that I'm going to fall back into that spiral. Love you Gary, thanks for making me feel a tiny bit less alone. Keep going :)

I really appreciate how genuine your videos are. that said, I totally relate to the escapism part. I've been shoving my face down books and onto screens for a while now that I dread not reading for a while. I've been working on it recently and the timing of this video was perfect. thank you for the good advice :)

This is me all of the time, I cling to the past more than most people I know. It's good to look back on things every now and again, but also it does keep you from growing up as well. Nostalgia is something that is tricky as it's both good and bad, but I rather live in the past any day then deal with whats going on in the here and now. I miss the simple days of being small and having no concept of how time worked.

As long as you're happy, just be who you are. Who cares if your friend's are younger, or you have less mature interests? I think you're a very interesting guy, and your videos are often very thought-provoking. The things you discussed are just part of your charm. I might just be a comment on KZfaq, but I wouldn't change you :) x

I hold onto Star Wars and Indiana Jones as I grew up watching them and my childhood was a very happy time for me. I remember feeling lost as a teenager and that was a bad time for me.It's good to have friends of different ages the can give you another view and sometimes put things into perspective. Take comfort in the things around you like your Tsum Tsums there's nothing wrong with it. As they say at Disney it's for the young and young at heart. Life can be crap at times just ride the wave having experiences good or bad make you who you are and we love you Gary. Your kindness shines through :) xx

This was very thought provoking and profound, Gary. I've quite recently become obsessed with some TV shows and celebrities - and I don't think it's a bad thing to be passionate about TV shows, for some people it can be part of who they are, but sometimes I feel I need to get out of the bubble of wanting to know everything to do with the show and the actors and live life for myself, instead of being stimulated by their lives so much. Honestly, I cry more at events in TV shows than I do at my own life, equally, find happiness in TV shows more than I do from my own life. But I think seeing as we're a generation of internet crazy fan girls, this is probably quite common. So thank you for this video Gary, koz it serves as a reminder that we need to live for ourselves sometimes too :)

Awesome video! I think my escapism is my videos/sketches... I spend most of my life fantasising about stories and scripts etc, and sometimes forget to live in the moment and take in my surroundings!! Maybe all creative people are a bit crazy though ;) You always open up a lot of conversation about important topics Gary, keep going! x

I need to get out of my sanctuary! I cannot wait to look forward to everyday knowing i do something I love surrounded by people I love! Also some adrenaline junkie experiences would be fun too :L

This video really helped. I recently started 6th form and I hate it. I've been avoiding from friends and family by hiding in my room and watching TV shows to try and escape from the real world. It only temporarily works and it makes me miss out on opportunities. This has inspired me to get out and live my life a bit more. Thanks Gary x

I cried so much at this video (I have no idea why) and you're just such a thoughtful person and you're so sweet and lovely and KZfaq is definitely one of my escapes and your corner is nearly always one of the first places I go to

I've been feeling I'm not trying new things... I used to just do things... Build a bench in school.... Try a high jump. Now I feel I just stick to what I know I'm good at. Every day I watch neighbour's! I even watch it online because I can watch it on the Australian schedule which is a month ahead of England. It's my escapism and constant. I've watched it for 21 years I worked out this year!!!!!

I excape in books, especially at night when my mind is on a never ending treadmill. I appreciate you. Thank you for being you!

Literally talking about my life in this video Gary! I am the exact same. Have been living vicariously through others, always nostalgically remembering the past even if good or bad at the time but remembering it was better than 'now'. Too long have I been retreating to my sanctuary. It's time to refocus my life, and it's time to actually live again. It's time to go out of that comfort zone I've been clinging on to for far too long.

I needed this today! Thank you

Oh my God, I cannot put into words how much this video has touched me. This is something I have been struggling with a lot recently. I am definitely guilty of using stories or other people's problems as a way of distracting from my own. But I am trying to be better at listening to and taking care of myself. Thank you so much for posting this, it really helped me think about how i can help myself make the most of my life. Hope all is well with you, you are wonderful. I'd also like to thank you for Summer in the City this year. I was having a really crappy time and talking to you really cheered me up so thank you! xxx

Another brilliant video Gary. All of your videos are so honest and from the heart. It really helps me, seeing the similarities of things that I do, it makes me realise that I do need to think more about myself rather than escaping through always helping others or spending hours on KZfaq watching videos of my latest addiction. It's difficult to stop though as actually doing something positive is the hard thing to do. At least that's what I find.Thanks Gary x

I used to use escapism so much to help me but now I'm just finding happiness in the little things that I'm doing. I'm making more time to do the things that matter. A couple of days I went out to the theatre by myself and saw three shows and that was fabulous and I wouldn't have done that a few months ago BC I was too busy trying to hold onto stuff that has happened before.

Wow, apparently I made a video using your body. It is eerily spot on, I actually got shivers at the "need to be needed" part. I struggle with the escape aspect but I call it my nest. It wasn't easy to listen to but I really needed to hear it right now, thank you! (hugs)

This was just wonderful and absolutely what I needed! You have no idea just HOW much i need this today! x

It's really strange watching this video. I've been subscribed to/followed on Twitter you for a few years and despite your trials and setbacks, I've still been envious of your life and your relationship with all your friends at times . . . and then you post this video and it could be something I'd said, almost verbatim. Only a couple of days ago I was looking around my sanctuary (I also call it this) and its various media stuff and feeling like it was both shelter and a symbol of being held back. Thank you for making this. I'm always impressed with how you talk about this kind of thing and open up about it so bravely - and it really makes a difference knowing that I'm not the only one who's struggling with it. I really hope things will improve for you. x

I love it when you do videos like this, that look a bit deeper into anxiety and mental health. I feel like we have much in common. Love you Gary, keep it up!xx

The message behind this is really lovely, and its something I needed to hear, so thank you. 💜💛

This i such an important subject and I'm so happy someone finally brought i up! You just put words on how I been feeling for the last year. Your videos are always so down to earth and honest and i love that, thanks for making them. :)

I agree with you, I think my anxiety is holding me back in the fact that I often miss out on stuff with my friends so I stay in my safe place (my bedroom)! I also have a similar thing with the dates, one of them that I won't forget which is 20th November 2010; this was the day I found your videos and you've really helped me through my difficult times and I hope one day I can repay you x

Strong message, I feel I have a safe place with watching KZfaq videos but I also need to thank KZfaq I have done so much because of the inspiring messages like this one to get out there and be me. Xx

Oh Gary

Well, your videos help me to escape in some way. I was feeling really bad because of the words of someone I know (we could say she's a "toxic" friend but she isn't even a friend..) and your video put a smile on my face. Thank you, you're amazing, Gary ! xx ps : i'm in love with your collection of tsum tsum !

There is a big world out there Gary and the world will love you if you let it! Stay Awesome!

Such a great video with an amazing message. I get caught up in my mind too much. But small steps in the right direction are better than standing still.

Ouch this one hits home. I do this thing called maladaptive daydreaming where I basically spend the majority of my time in my head. I've done it ever since I can remember and I'm so attached to that world I couldn't even think about stopping. It actually feels real to me. Occasionally I stop and really think about how those people and situations aren't real, and they never will be and I'm the only one who knows them. And it makes my heart drop. I don't know why I started doing it but I wouldn't even want to stop it would be like losing my closest friend. As sad as that sounds, I would choose it over my life here any day.

You inspire me so much! You're lovely!

This was such a good video, you explain your point so well and you are an inspiration! I love you Gary xxx

Gary, do help others as whether or not that you know it, helping others is helping yourself. Eventually someone is going to come back and help you and you won't even realize they have helped you beyond your needs. It may take a while but persevere, and it will happen. If this makes you feel any better, I'm 75 years old and came out just 8 years ago. Talk about uncertainty!

"Growing old is mandatory - growing up is optional" - just stay the way you are!

Love you Gary! Keep inspiring us x

Love simple but inspirational videos like these so much. 😊

Thank you for this video, you sent a lot of positive vibrations to us. I can see that you are a really good person, and I hope you will manage to establish harmony in your life in the way you want it. xxx

Escaping is an art! Another great video :)

I totally relate with this video so much! I turned 18 four months ago. And I feel like I should of been having fun back then but I was just someone who sat inside (mostly in my bedroom) and had a few friends. But now that's changed, 3 weeks ago I met some new people - by going out of my comfort zone and just walking up to a group of 4 guys and starting to chat, and we clicked straight away and now we do lots together so I've been going outside and being more confident and just enjoying life so much so sometimes I forget the internet even exists. It's a drastic change, but I love every minute of it! I chose me and it's the best decision I've ever made.

I totally understand where you are coming from. I like having a space just to me. I gave that space up for my brother and his fiance to move in to save for a house, and I find that I really miss it, as my new room just dose not feel like mine. It is missing all the little nick knacks that I can escape into the memory of. One of my other escapes is photography, it allows me to forget everything else that is going on in my life and to just focus on one moment in time, and then I can go back to that moment in time when I edit the photos. The thing that makes me sad is that I don't have any room now to get any of them developed and display them. (The only spot I have to share them is on KZfaq, and I do have a few videos of my photography, which is pretty much trapped on my old desktop since I had nowhere to put it in the move and had to transition to a lap top, but those files where not transferred) My other big escape is trashy gay romance novels, it allows me to escape into a world that I really am not a part of. I have never really had a long term relationship, and have not been in one at all for 5-6 years, and it is also an escape from the stress and disappointment of daily life.

life is hard. it can be easy to distract yourself and ignore the rest of your life.

This is a really great video :) thanks Gary! I love how thought provoking your videos are, I always feel so inspired by them and this was especially meaningful to me :)

You're only as old as you feel, and if Disney makes you happy, keep it in your life, its the things that makes us happy that we need when we feel down, it doesn't matter if i may seem childish to others (coming from a huge fellow disney fan). I'm completely out of my safety zone at the moment, and its not the nicest thing in the world but there's nothing I can do about it, I'm just hoping that it will get better and I think as long as I stay positive it will :)

I can't even begin to go into all of the ways that I identify with what you've said here. I am extremely nostalgic and cling on to things as well. I also tend to be friends with people younger than me, but I feel comfortable around them and connect with them. Now I want to do a video and talk about what I do. It's nice to have a fellow (even though I'm new) KZfaqr my age that is so much like me. Great topic.

This was so real and candid. Thanks for sharing!! :)

I relate so much to this video and needed to hear it right now + this video had such a strong message. Thank you!

This video is amazing! I also call my room a sanctuary and I think that you need to have a room that you look forward to going into!😂☺ Gary. You are freaking amazing. Like how? HOW? You may doubt it sometimes, like we all do, but you are living an amazing life and helping loads of people with problems, coming out, living their life and of course, finding their inner diseny!😉😂💖 Love you lots xxx

Amazing video Garry couldn't have said it better myself 💖

To being l want to say how much l love and adore your videos. You are a very kind and loving person and l don't think you give yourself enough credit for what a wonderful person you are. With this video l wanted to comment because l hear this a lot, at the beginning of your video you say that your stuff is stopping you from growing up and it's a crutch in a way. When l say l hear this a lot it's from people saying this to me over the years. My husband and l are both in animation and for people outside of this field they can't understand why our house is full of disney, warner brothers and other franchises both animated and live action. For our friends though who are in the industry all our houses look the same. A while back a friend of mine who loves the disney villains was showing me her collection which she had packing into one room, other then one cupboard full of disney mugs in her kitchen you wouldn't know how much she loved disney. I asked her why she had everything in just the one room and she said because people cast negative judgement on her when she had her stuff spread out throughout her house and it bothered her so to make them happy she kept her stuff hidden away. I find this so sad. When people say something to me about growing up or isn't it time you put away your toys, l respond with either "having fun with them - Oh that's terrible what an awful thing to be all grown up, oh dear l do hope that never happens to me, lol or if they're really nasty to me - it makes me happy, and your not living here so why do you care?" My therapist actually told me to put pictures or things up around my house when l was first dealing with stuff that makes me feel happy, so when l'm faced with a negative person l could look at that item and it would relieve some of the stress and it worked. I'm very lucky that my husband is in this industry and loves this stuff as much as l do, and it helps him to because when his friends who aren't in the industry or aren't into disney and that as much as we are say, how can you stand having all this stuff in your house everywhere, he can say it makes me happy and a happy wife is a happy life lol, but secretly he loves it too. Sorry that l rambled but my point was your not alone and don't feel bad about your stuff that others might think your too old for, there are a bunch of us from Neverland all around the world right there with you.

I love this message. It was just what I needed to hear today x

I relate so much to this video.

First video of yours I've seen and it was exactly the video I needed to see today. Thank you :)

I also feel like I've missed out on so much. My whole life actually. I kind of hate that I act so young right now, but that's because I think I try to relive my childhood as the boy I haven't been then yet. Escapism is such great thing eventhough I'm sometimes afraid it's more MDD (maladaptive daydreaming disorder) when I get lost in my mind. Thank you so much for this video! ♥

all the love in the world from me to you...

Thank you Gary!

Totally got what you were saying, I distract myself with tv shows and Disney like yourself (some would see my room and think it was a child's 😂) and it is important to focus on yourself but also don't look those escapisms because they are kind of a part of you too, like Disney is a huge escape for me but it's also a big part of me ?! Hope this makes sense 😁 xx

Sending love your way. I think I could learn a lot from you Gary

This is really quite emotional.

Very much relate to this, though I'm probably the opposite in that I grew up very young very fast and have never really had that youthful take on life I guess. But the one thing I know in my head though haven't quite broken through to reality yet is, and I expect you're the same, the hardest thing is to take your own advice....

First, you have two of my favorite things on your shirt Gary: Doctor Who and Beauty and the Beast :). Second, All of your videos make me smile...especially this one. The advice you gave really made me smile, and made me realize that I can get through my anxiety one step at a time.

Lovely video Gary x

Yet another amazing video! I love you Gary ^-^

I do this too Gary! Escapism was a bad habit I got into a few years ago when I was depressed. I'm trying to break those habits now, but it's slow going because my own life is a wreck and I don't know how to deal with it. :P Good advice! I'm rooting for you (and for me too). :)

U r never to old for Disney Mr Gary C , and Thoe it's hard to let go of the past sometimes u got to the past is in the past look at your present and what is yet to come for you and you will find ur place one day sometimes it takes time xxx

you are such an inspiring person Gary xx

I am wholly in support of you living your life to the absolute fullest and I shall be very glad to help/participate/encourage wheneeeeeever you like :) xx love you very much

I need to save this video and pull it up when I need to remind myself to get out there in the world. I think I'm close to your age and I connect to this so much. I feel like there are a lot of experiences from high school and college and my early 20s I missed out on. I wish I had taken more opportunities and chances. I'm going to be 30 and I know that's not old.... But I still feel like I've missed my chance on so many things.

This is very good advice, I agree with every word. I've come to realize that clinging to the past can be quite harmful.

Thank you for this wonderful video...

Oh Gary. I have my space and need it to get out of what is a scary reality. You are a gentlemen. I hope you're well man!!!

love you Gary... i thinking photograhy ir vlogging in the world outside your home would be so good.. i bet you can make it fun...😉

okay, so I use books as my escapism. always have, always will. And I also just love reading. Anyway, my ex was over at my house for the first time, and he knew I read a lot (we went for three months, and I read about 17 books in that time) but he got into my room and was amazed by how many books I had. There's a couple hundred in my room alone, and made me feel kinda crappy about it, because he didn't understand.

I completely understand everything you are saying, sadly I lose myself in youtube and television cause I have no life. after high school and college there is nothing. I deal with anxiety and agoraphobia daily, and idk what to do anymore. . my tiny house is my prison

Really understand what you are saying here X

I'm going to watch made in chelsea tonight because it's trash and I love it. I now realise it probably is my escapism. this was a really good video :)

I totally know where you are coming from. Great video X

Interesting - think the experience of a lot of gay men - missing out on the teenage loves/experiences - my first "powerful" love was at 18 (and is still fresh in my mind 20 years later and maybe that heart break over impacted on future relationships). Whereas my brother (hetro) went through those experiences / learnt how to deal with heart break between 13-16. I think sadly never quite matched the heart stomping experience since .. there is a song in that "what is love" ....

Maybe you need someone to take care of you instead of you taking care of them for a change. Everyone needs someone to help them get through life. Life can be and is hard. Nothing wrong with needing help. You have many friends. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I'm sure they would be there for you. You've been there for them.

I think being childish is thinking the world revolves around you. Having bright things and young friends doesn't make you childish it makes you interesting. If it makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone then how can it be a bad thing?

oh my goodness everything you said is so relatable although I am straight, I do understand the escapism so much, what is your personality type!!!?

Hugs xxx

I adore you x

jealous of your tsum tsum collection

🙌🏻❤️

"I didn't come out 'til i was 28".. YOU'RE NOT TWENTY EIGHT! You look like a spring chicken, you're the real peter pan