Sam is very articulate and eloquent in expressing one of the most complex human feelings. I think he's on his path to finding true happiness with your help. My prayers go out to him.

I’ve lived my entire adolescence and adulthood in fantasyland due to prolonged trauma in childhood and beyond. I’m just now starting to come out of it. It’s almost like emerging from a coma and finding so much time has been lost. Not easy.

You are spot on with the comment about women being "the keeper of everything you want" - I have felt men do that with me and it's very off-putting. It feels impersonal - they just want the 'woman' stuff, not me as an individual. This was a great letter and a great response.

Totally agree with Anna’s comment that it is a turn off and kind of scary/creepy when a man believes that you - a random woman they just met, who may not have any sexual attraction to them (and if you don’t that’s NORMAL, most people aren’t attracted to 99% of those they meet) - are the ‘keeper’ of all the care and intimacy they should be getting from a variety of people (including themselves, friends, family), and then get weird and resentful and dramatic when you won’t give that to them, like you owe it just by coming in their orbit. When the ‘canning’ lady is described…it sounded like she had totally normal reactions…so she didn’t contact him for a few days…but they weren’t in a relationship…he hadn’t made it clear he thought of it as a date…most people don’t contact even their close friends daily…she probably has other things going on in her life that have nothing to do with him. His interpretation that this meant she found him disgusting and unlovable was dramatic and implied she owed him intimacy right away. That kind of reaction to normal interactions will freak people out and push them away before attraction or true friendship has a chance to develop. And I get he knows this on some level, I’m not trying to be mean, but the other option is not being a hermit! It’s finding ways to self-soothe so you can go with the flow and interact with new people in a less needy way.

I think Sam is one of the most self aware men I've heard in a long time. Sam, keep the faith, and the faith will keep you whole.

Another reason why I like this channel because it's a safe space for both men and woman.

God, she's good! The energy of a man who sees a woman as "the keeper of the thing he needs". THIS

Expecting ANY partner, new old or in between, to “meet your needs” will push them away. This IMO is the root of the “we got married, and suddenly she/he changed” problem. As well as a huge component in marriages that crumble later on. I’ve seen and found that people want to be there for each other, they want to give! But if you’re too busy extracting affection, you exhaust the well. You need to make the space for your partner to *give* that affection.

Your explanation is spot on… Also, single women in their 50s & 60s have likely experienced death of a spouse, bad relationships, etc. So, we are very cautious about who we bring into our lives at this stage. We are not looking for the same things as we did when we were younger. We look at family dynamic, is the person looking for a nurse & housekeeper. This is not the age & stage to bring someone in your life that may cost you your peace.

This letter was so moving. I normally listen quite detached and even critical, but this letter... I could feel the writer's feelings. As someone who borrowed money from a long-time friend and had to cut them off once they started calling me everyday twice a day at the same times expecting me to pick up, and sending me a text at 4.40am in the morning (when I wouldn't pick up) when they could have sent it at any other time of the day..., I will say, women will run from you if they sense you are a threat in any way.. I'm sorry if this sounds unkind. Women face all kinds of threats out in the world, and if you come off as expecting something in return for something else, you are a threat..

Being someone who has CPTSD who has been through one divorce (which I have discovered was narcissistic) and is currently in a 19 year relationship with a covert narcissist, I hear the phrase "Not wanting to be the mother of a little boy" and can feel the toxic shame in me wanting to kick myself for having spent far too many years in the freeze/fawn response type, acting as a little boy, just to survive. I am grateful that the cloud has slowly been lifting for me with the discovery of having CPTSD instead of bipolar disorder. Through coming across a therapist to help me, access to self help resources and experts like yourself who have shed so much light onto the thoughts and experiences I have been having for years, I finally am beginning to have much better outlook on what my future can be by putting in the work needed to heal and become the best version of me that I can. Once again, thank you so much for all you do for us!

We are the common thread in all our relationships. When you were reading Sam’s letter I felt like he kept picking the same type of woman but was surprised that he continued to get the same results.

Even though I am a way younger woman, I relate so much with Sam's situation. Thank you, Anna, for your wisdom, you really changed my life

From my experience, people with cptsd have weakly developed authentic selves because of the need to exhibit adaptive behavior as a coping skill. The real self is not able to be found or to grow.

Great advice Anna. Also for Sam, 60s is not too late to find love. I know a man who is 85 who is celebrating his 19 year anniversary with his wife who is 80. They are vibrant members of the ecatatic dance community and have so many friends. I had limerence once and it was due to being lonely during COVID.

Oh my heart just goes out to Sam. Hope he can focus on surrounding himself with good friends he trusts. I've been in limerence many times. Now that I know what it is, leaning on trusted friends really helps it not feel so lonely when going through it.

Im in a limerance free zone at the moment, when I stopped caring so much about finding love. When I actually started to work on myself, and still doing so, is when my crushes stopped. I think Sam should find activities and interests he genuinely loves. Places he loved to travel to. Maybe learn to play an instrument or learn a new language or join a group of people that share the same interests like hiking, biking, being outdoors, or volunteer work. I think this is what is meant to “fill up your own cup”.

Make friends Sam, get social, join groups, do stuff in your community...just get out there and do things get interested in other people and start giving instead of wanting to get.

I could feel Sam's frustration through that letter. It is such a shame that he put in all this effort and he tried so many things just to find himself facing the same issues. I completely understand as I was "relapsing" and my "old" self used to creep back into my life many times. However, I encourage Sam to keep going and keep trying different types of therapy and make small changes everyday. People will always gravitate towards a kind and caring person - by this I mean a genuine person, not just a people-pleaser or a "nice-guy". All the best to you Sam and I am sure you can do it!

While you were reading the letter I thought “she have to recommend the R. Glover’s “No More mr. Nice Guy” book”. And here you’re recommending it 👏🏻

I have a lot of empathy for this man but a pet peeve of mine is when people say “intimacy” when they really mean “sex.” There can’t be any real intimacy when the entire relationship is built on someone hoping to get something from the other party. As a woman it feels really dehumanizing to be on the other end of interactions where you can tell the man’s goal is sex and maybe being taken care of, cooked for, etc. There is nothing wrong with desiring a relationship that has those things but the relationship has to be built first through trust and connection.

Thanks for this Anna i really needed to hear this too, its not easy to admit to oneself when they are in this sort of a cycle. props to the letter writer, you got this man! i also wanna second the recommendation of NMMG, it is a fantastic book and there are so many small communities on the internet that work through the book as a group. HIGHLY recommended!

It really resonates when you talk about how retraumatising, unhelpful and damaging talk therapy has been for you. I feel the same way but I'm told repeatedly that I'm not trying hard enough because I now refuse to go to a psych (except for one I can't afford). In 16 years of therapy I've only had one psychologist who genuinely helped me in any substantial and meaningful way. And he had experienced childhood trauma for himself. I went to one psychologist and when I left I felt so destroyed and helpless that I had suicidal thoughts. I've had many others where I felt like I understood trauma and psychology more than the therapist and I was resentful and felt hopeless. If these are the "professionals" what hope do I have? I actually didn't realise you're not a licensed therapist. One of your videos somehow popped up in my feed a few days ago and since then I've watched hours of your videos and recommended it to struggling friends. You know your shit. And thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom. It is so very appreciated.

I used to be super needy in a Relationship and then as I’ve grown older that behavior has somewhat naturally dissipated. Now I feel like I don’t need anyone to give me attention, and I don’t need a partner. I’ve only recently came upon this channel and realized how bad my CPTSD is however in many other ways.

Wow, being a woman (aged 71), loooong time alone ("with cats and dogs"), I relate sooo well to what Sam has to say, and how he feels. The pain and wanting is profound. Soooo deep and sore. He writes beautifully, expresses himself amazingly well and I really hope he (and I) find our peace and happiness (with some laughs and love thrown in, for good measure). Because we Deserve it, damn it!!! Take care. I try to do that too. ♡♡

At 63, I relate, With CPTSD, and others the last 33 years alone( with 2 months with a former neighbor, Had me put in prison for 6 yrs.)

Too true, I was in a horrible place in my life one time and this innate and horrible ability left me wide open to be used as a toy in ALL the senses of the word by a malignant narcissist. Ugh.

Love your advice for him. His main issue is not learning how to show up like a man. Many men struggle with this, so its time to start practicing. From a male perspective, I would tell him to accept when a woman has no interest, be direct and decisive about what you want, ask the woman you like out on a date, DON'T be friends first, hang out and have fun and make your intentions obvious. And go for the kiss at the end of the date. Stop taking it "slow". Facilitate romance if that is what you want. Take the lead, Sam. Stop putting the woman in the lead for these things. That's a big part of your problem. Also, be ok with rejection. Don't take it personal because it doesn't mean anything about you. Attractive men are ok with rejection. Unnattractive men freak out. You're acting like a woman by being so passive about what you want and are turning women off. Completely screwing up the sexual polarity. Therapists don't and probably never will understand this. Anna seems to get it, though, which is refreshing. Being direct and decisive is masculine. THIS would be being authentic instead of hiding your attraction through "friendship". Saying what is on your mind romantically, instead of taking it "slow" would be your authentic self. This way, you don't spend years hanging out, and you can get to the rejection or acceptance faster without getting so attached. You've been laying low with what you really want to say by taking it "slow". That is not authentic. If you want to be authentic, you'll have to start practicing actually being authentic. This means being vulnerable enough to not hold back what you really want, like asking a woman out on an actual date, but also giving others the freedom to accept or reject you. Also, don't buy presents for a woman you like unless she is your girlfriend, Sam. That comes off so desperate and unnattractive. That's putting the cart before the horse. Presents and thoughtful gifts are for girlfriends only.

Limerence is so tricky. I just happen to finally get limerent for someone who was a good match. However, my husband who also "suffers" from limerence, continues to fall for women who are exactly the opposite of the type of woman who would be healthy for him (way too young, not available, high-maintenance). It's fascinating to witness now I understand the phenomenon!!! (He doesn't cheat, he just continues to try to fill the void with fantasy)

Always nice to get more insight from you

Thank you Anna!

~This was a really good one!!!~You pointed out some really vital points i hadnt thought of, that made a lot of sense!~

Best advice I could possibly give is, continue the work, continue the therapy, find your place, don’t withdraw (unless you are being hurt but, or on the receiving end). Do thing that you love, start with what you used to love. Don’t ignore the inner child but love them the way they should have been loved. Find your (sorry) authentic self. The closer you get, the better the people you meet on the way. You find the narcissist abusers before they find you. You make the way clear for healthy people.

Thank you Anna. Your videos are really helping me. I wish you had a Spanish version so I could show you to the rest of my family. It's hard for me to explain to them all the great things that you say. I know you're super busy but I hope one day you will read my letter (I sent you one through your webpage) and illuminate me on the way forward. You seem to have so much clarity and common sense. Thank you for your free therapy. You are a blessing. Love from Spain.

"Sam" is very much focued on the outside, on workling on himself and so on. The one and only solution: Go inside and practice selflove.

I just discovered this channel. It is sheer genius! I wish I had found it many years ago. I had two narcissist parents, a violent, narcissist father and a borderline mother and married a covert narcissist. It has taken me to the age of 50 to start to heal. Learning about narcissism was the key to unlocking my confusion and bringing clarity to every area of my life. I sent the link to my sister who is borderline and an alcoholic and hasn't dealt with her childhood and sees my parents as wonderful! But I think she is a lost cause. So sad. If you are here you are on your way to a new life!

This was such a great letter and so many great insights from Anna. I really appreciate Sam's honesty. I am often the person on the opposite side not just with possible dates but with friends and some family members as well. When I say opposite side I'm the person it gets too intense for and they dash off. I agree with Anna that people feel this desire to get something from them even if you don't say what it is you're trying to get. For me, it's more concerning when people aren't just honest about their intentions because it winds up feeling like they just want me to meet their needs instead of us having a relationship where we treat each other well. Some things people have done that made me feel that way. They want to do an activity. I have never expressed any interest in this activity. Instead of saying, I would like to hang out with you there's this thing I love to do. Do you like it? Would you like to join me? They'll say, "there's this event, we should go." Or send me something about the activity and say they can't wait until we go. Sometimes they already got "us" tickets to the thing. The problem is, they never asked me/they never invited me. Sometimes they keep sending me things about it or keep talking about it, so every time I talk to them or every text they're talking about it. It's like an expectation and also like they're trying to block me into this specific thing. It feels controlling and like they're only thinking of themselves. If/when I say I can't make it/I have plans, etc. they start saying things like, oh we need to go/it will be so much fun/we have to do it. So again, it's not considering me. There are other people in my life that are more direct about their intentions, they ask me would I like to do a particular thing on a particular day but they are flexible so we can do something else on a different day. They're clear with me that they would like to spend time with me and we can do something we both enjoy. It never feels controlling or like they want to be around me but don't have consideration for me. This is a very small example but it's an everyday one and I feel like people don't realize how off-putting and concerning it is. I think there are other everyday things that create this same feeling of discomfort and people try to get away so they don't have to be on the receiving end of it.

🤜💥❤🤛 Miss Anna! This is so sad but soooo true!!

I feel Sam needs to make friends with his inner child, and re-parent that child himself. He needs to attend ACA meetings even if your parents weren't alcoholics. I learn so much there. Practice giving himself the love he didn't get. If he is a Christian, trying a Life Recovery group for men at a church would be very beneficial. I wish him all the best.

how do we switch from child like into an adult? i am a woman and i feel very immature at the age of 31 my mom even got me a plaque for my house that says "i'm an adult but not like a 'real' adult or anything" as ive healed tremendously since the gift i remembering reading it recently and being like yea its offensive now but its pretty true and i ended up throwing it away not because i was mad or anything but as a sign that i want to be a real adult i always talk to women and im like man now thats a woman right there i feel like a little girl at times

Its interesting that hes kind of like 'because no one will have sex with me i give up on all people completely' what about friendships, family, community? (Eg if you like a sport) I think this is where women actually have it easier, because they understand the importance of other kinds of connection 😕

Robert Glover is a great dude. Found his book in 2015 and know someone who did an interview with him. Very helpful resource and would love to see a collaboration.

I stopped having sex 12 years ago. I'm not even sure I'm able to do that anymore and I'm also not sure there are many women who would put that under the "desirable" category so anytime a female shows interest in me I immediately shut it down or flat out sabotage it. I know exactly how this guy feels

12:27 i love u Anna. Succinctly said.

In addition to Robert Glover’s No more Mr. Nice Guy one of his students wrote a book that Glover also highly recommends called “The Masculine in Relationship“ by GS Youngblood

I swear there are not enough men who write to you, Anna!

I've met quite a few guys with this "needy child" energy whilst dating. They are suuuuper nice when your giving them attention but then if you say your not feeling it they get so offended! It's like a kid when you refuse them ice cream. You really gotta be in a place of contentment in your life, before you try and date. We can feel that needy, frantic energy and it can really be a turn off, even turn into an icky creepy feeling. This isn't me trying to be mean but just explaining how this feels from a woman's perspective. You can't get everything you need from life from a woman (or a man!) Having a good, happy life and just enjoying the company of people is so important. If you are interested in pursuing a person, let them know upfront, being a friend with hidden intentions isn't honest and we can usually tell something is off. I wish the writer all the best and hope he can find happiness, on his own first and then with a future partner ❤

Powerful

Oh this poor man. ❤

Would love to see a Robert Glover/Anna Runkle collab 💪

Sam's letter is well said and scared me. It sounds a lot like how I am. Sam, I can offer my experience and thoughts. I am 54, amicably divorced after 23 years and raising three good boys. Two, 2 year relationships before that, in my 20's. After finally having the time to spend on confronting and understanding myself including self-help and therapy, I have sorted out what happened- my first relationship traumatized me deeply and I never realized it and I have carried this trauma with me the whole time. Now that I see it, I can begin to deal with it. I would like to encourage you. Like you I acknowledge I am a nice guy, a "catch" my friends say. And from practical perspectives we are. What we are not is confident, self-loving individuals. That is why we feel we cannot be authentic- because we do not even know who we are to ourselves. Like you I am exhausted from relentless self-help and therapy and do not want to do any more "research". I want to SOLVE my problem. You and I have done the research. We now need to move forward. In my case, I will be focusing on building myself finally into the complete person I believe I should be. This will let me love myself, continue to grow, be happy and content, and maybe find a "right" someone to share my life with. I cannot do this alone and I will be relying on the perspectives of a couple of close friends (confidants) so that I will know when I reach "good enough". The perfection I have for so long believed to be necessary for me to be loved by another is my enemy here. The Glover book Anna mentions is excellent and provides a ton of helpful insights and tools. We can do it. We are good people. We have to BELIEVE it and then we have to BE it confidently with others- all the time. We can finally be ourselves without fear and instead with strength and this will provide a smoother and far more pleasant road ahead. Good luck, you can do this. It takes time but maybe knowing what you need to do will motivate you to push again.

My 5 cents regarding the acquaintance at work with which one you shared your recipe with. You need to understand that most people want casual and surface relationships to pass time and just enjoy themselves and that not everybody wants to get to know you on a deep and intimate level. I think you probably get triggered when someone does not reciprocate your interest and actively seeks a contact with you. Writing back briefly I will see you around is equivalent to a brush-off and a sign you should stop chasing someone and wait for them to come back to you. I think it is probably the feeling of rejection that is triggering your limerance. I also think you would need more in person contact with other people like therapy groups and 12-step groups to get out of your isolation. Regarding other points I think Anna is more spot-on and can judge your situation more objectively

Are there books that are best to read on Limerence. I have experienced it. There is one thing to do that helps a lot. If you stay away from a certain look a person may have that makes the attraction really really strong. Like I know the look of certain me that can get obsessive with me. For me dark haired men do it every time...but blonde men just dont. My Son stays away from

I'm 52 in October and I feel like Sam. Hermit, isolation, old and don't see the point in 'relationshipping' in general as well as intimately when I have zero trust to give.

How can i know my unmet needs? And fulfill it myself?

Good video👍 Question: when a person moves beyond limerance, do they become the focus of others' limerance? I used to be the needy fantasizing one, then seemed to attract needy men, now I do not date at all!

Hey anna, i enjoy your videos, would love to see you and Heidi priebe collab on content sometimes

I know a man just like Sam....he IS a great catch, fun, smart, etc etc etc.....however he oozes desperation and more than that, agenda. I tried dating him, but ultimately I couldn’t do it, I can’t help it or explain it, it was just such a turn off knowing exactly how bad he wanted a real relationship. I believe part of that is knowing his need is not specific to YOU, they just want a real relationship frankly with anyone who fits their bill. That may be the part that’s a turnoff? I am not here to criticize Sam, I have felt desperate, doomed and lonely myself. I thought a little insight might help, best of luck to you🖤

I feel like parts of the letter made it seem like the man is misogynistic. It seems like he did experience childhood trauma from bad parenting and neglect, and that must be the cause of the problems. But (it seems like to me) something about how boys and men are socialized makes them feel that the female population is responsible for/able to correct these issues. A romantic relationship isn’t a “mom” (or “dad”) though. It isn’t a replacement for family, friends, etc all the other aspects of social life. Once you become an adult it’s up to you to work through your issues because only you can do it. To act on those feelings of helplessness/child energy is to imprison yourself in a life of stagnation - you will not grow and get the life you want. It’s nice that this person is reaching out for help and he sounds like he has thought about this a lot. I hope he does find ways to improve his social life, if that’s what he wants. I recommend Daniel Mackler here on KZfaq.

i feel i've only experienced once.. it was in 5th grade. it was extremely painful and i feel like it set me up for my future patterns of.... feeling abandoned i guess

Ok all these videos on limerence need to be tempered by another perspective: I'm a musician and poet. My best stuff has consistently come from limerent fantasies about women I can't have or that I know wouldn't be good for me. I can also say this about the anxious -preoccupied attachment style. Every great love song you've ever heard was written in a state of emotional misery, and limerence is the culprit here. I'm not saying it's good to be limerent, and I can tell you from firsthand experience that it'll f*ck you up if you allow it, but it's a very necessary driving force behind artistic creativity. Let's go easy on limerence as a construct, because we all get to enjoy the products of it's existence every time we listen to music.

Hello again. What I hear in this reading (and I totally understand) is someone seeking his OWN self. I did that also. And yeah I wanted to live like a hermit too. After my divorce I fell in love with someone that I thought was THE ONE. my wife rejected me when I would lean in to kiss her on the cheek she would lean away I couldn't figure out at the time why. She was having an affair. And I met someone and it really seemed great one time when this person I was with for a little while was talking I went to kiss her on the cheek instead of pulling away but leaned towards me and didn't pay attention to that while she was talking. She made me feel so wonderful about myself. But shortly after that she broke it off and I was extremely hurt. Eventually I met someone else and (now in hindsight) was really good for me. But I was so hurt and afraid I didn't let things progress. I broke up with her. Months later I realized I treated her like I had been treated. I went looking for her and after a while searching I found her. I apologized to her and she forgave me and understood. So I stopped dating anyone for about 11 years. The last 2 years this person called me and we went to eat and we would go to a movie and did other things together. I never at the time saw her romantically for about 2 years. I didn't touch her sexually didn't even hold hands with her or anything else. We just celebrated 15 years of marriage. The hardest thing for me to learn was to except her for who she is and not what I wanted her to be. We had 3 children together and she is truly a better person than I will ever be. When she was in labor with our first child together... she was in a lot of pain and in her suffering she just looked at me and said.. I love you. That floored me. I've witnessed births before I was expecting her to yell at me and blame me for all the pain she was in. That to me is normal to when people are in extreme pain. For her to say that I can't put it in to words. I know when I am in pain loving someone is not what is on my mind. Like I said she is a better person than I will ever be. The thing I learned and continue to learn is not to focus on what I want and what I can get from someone. It really is hard ( this is what I think about what was said about being genuine or authentic) learning to help someone and not expecting anything in return. When I do that I find more joy anyway I hope something I said helps.

How can we be smart to know these people are coming to mess around with people who are serious. Personally i feel really angry with people who come to cheat and play about others feeling and then make people feel like a dumb at the end

I'd like to know more about your method. Why do you use writing and what do you think about method that focus on connecting to your body to feel and regulate your emotions?

If men have that childish entitled energy of feeling like women owe them attention and especially s x, that is a huge turn-off, for sure. Repulsive, even. But actually, I haven't really noticed this in Sam's letter.

I totally relate and have had the very similar experience He’s not far off on the dogs and cats tho I would be interested in meeting him I know it’s not appropriate or a dating site Just saying I would like to talk to him I feel the same

People like sam kind of remind me of why in japan Maid Cafes and Gaming cafes exist, moreso in Asia. They pander to lonely men/people's desire to be pampered and have their ego/inner child comforted. While the gaming cafes or a place to kind of escape reality and zone out if you don't have a good computer at home, or your home is crowded with roommates. We don't really have these in the USA because it's often considered shameful to go into a place that makes you feel like a boy at a tea party as a grown man (maid cafes). It's seen as regressive and fetishy. But i think places similar to this could have a big market in the US, for people with damaged attachments but balance them out with resources to therapy and grown-up opportunities for people who got old while working their entire life, and missed out on getting to socialize and become a well rounded human with the opposite sex or same sex. The exchange is, you get doted on for a bit, but you're also expected to branch out and take the resources. Find hobbies, go volunteer, build skills. Bridge for neets and lonely retirement age nerds. I think there's an epidemic in the country of addiction to both nostalgia, childhood energy, and the fantasy of being cared for and given validation no matter what age you are, and it's a deeper craving for feeling confident and grown up in life.

God sounds like he is desperately lonely. Rightfully so.

Introduce me! I have egsactly the same thing

Right there with you man… except after the Narc parent left me homeless and stole my life’s savings with the help of the authorities- i’m left in my 40s feeling old actually being fat and losing my hair there is no way I’m ever gonna have another relationship ever again I have children out there somewhere but her toxic family won’t let me see them and the authorities couldn’t care less because I’m a guy- Life just throws men on the scrapheap and praises women from the skies- I see women who are in worse condition than me with less going for them and they’re able to get everything handed to them on a plate it blows my mind the differences but I’m not surprised by hypocrisy anymore- No point in being an Incel about things I’m sure if I knuckle down and worked hard I could look good again but what’s the point I can’t imagine a relationship working and if I can’t imagine it how the hell could ever happen - I just feel exhausted and broken

Not sure about childlike energy here, I think the women he met could feel his interest from miles away & THAT scared them

Thank you very much for helping the people (TUDaH RBaH GhL SHGhZRT LANSHYM). // SHLM & HaB (peace & love). The Name of the Creator is Hayah asher Hayah, as what He told Moshah (Exodus 3:14), preserved in the Hebrew Scriptures. There is a curse to the G-o-d name (Isaiah 65:11-12), preserved in the Hebrew Scriptures. All followers of the Messiah are to do the 7 appointed times (Leviticus 23), but no more animal sacrifices, following the Crucifixion of the Messiah. We are now of the order of MLK TSDQ (King, righteous), to Whom ABRaHM tithed. Ask the Messiah to be your personal Savior. He said to him, I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me (John 14:6). ...for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of Hayah (Romans 3:23). The wages for sin is death but the gift of ALaHYM is Everlasting Life through Messiah Yahushgh our Master (Romans 6:23). That if you confess with your mouth the Master Yahushgh and believe in your heart that ALaHYM raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved (Romans 10:9). He Himself is an Atoning Offering for our sins, and not for ours only but also for all the world (1 John 2:2). The Messiah died on the cross, & Resurrected three days later (presenting Himself as First Fruits to the Father). Please ask Him to be your Savior. He is the ONLY way to Everlasting Life.

I'm not trying to be funny but I think your dating standards are to high. Date someone with a similar weight and body size and age as yourself. Try realistically dating your equal.

What if a woman takes away sex and all of a sudden wants to wait until marriage. I say no that doesn't work. She says bye either to test or not to test. I don't care for those type of heads games.

Anna, perhaps it’s not readily apparent but men get abused by women too. However, it often is financially rather than physically. Where Sam points out the “Me Too” accusations to stave off repayment and allying with his ex is rather nefarious. Here’s the thing; anyone with CPTSD isn’t as easily able to see the signs that someone will be an abuser. Our love deficit makes us blind to the red flags. The effect of financial abuse on men has no less a lasting emotional toll than physical abuse. Long story short, it seems like you were a bit callous with Sam and putting the blame on him. As the father of a son this a fear I have for him. By the same token I have explained respectful boundaries and expectations to my daughter as well. Please, keep up the great work.

Sam might benefit from 12-Step. Another commenter mentioned ACA. Al-Anon is another option. But in Sam’s case I’d go straight to Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA).

Yey fairy posted ❤️

Hi @lorraineamicothemakeupartist