As a father of two young boys, I am sorry to hear it. Unfortunately, the family court system is far from perfect. There are many holes in the system. At times, these holes can be exploited -- especially regarding fathers with young children. With that said, I hope that you and your family are healthy and well. Best wishes!

Same happen to me. I had a biz that let me stay at home, raised them for 4 years. Sexist system. 3 year on legal battle my children keep saying they want to spend time with me

Preach! One of my friends has a PhD in child development and is the head of the department. I had him review ABQ family court's suggested visitation guidelines. My friend and his colleagues were BLOWN AWAY when they saw the suggested guidelines. His comments were in line with yours above. Part of the problem is that family court judges are all powerful. They decide what best serves a child. In almost 15 years of practicing family law I've never seen or heard of an attorney successfully overturning a judge's best interest of the child, visitation decision through appeal. The court of appeals hates dealing with family law issues and basically defers to to the judge. Judges know this. Judges also know that almost no parent has the money to go through the expensive court process and then an appeal process. It's simply too expensive. Appealing a family court judge's best interest decision is like banging your head against a nail studded wall. On top of that, even if you win the appeal guess who the case gets sent back to -- the same judge that decided the issue! So judges basically have all power. You know what they say about absolute power. Anyways, happy Father's Day and best wishes to you and your children!

@@505sanchez Thanks for your insight into the appeals process in New Mexico. My experience in my state was totally different. During my custody trial, I read hundreds of child custody and child support decisions by the Appellate Courts. My general conclusion was: A) The lower courts exist to rubberstamp the mother, regardless of the best interest factors...and B) when a custody decision is appealed, the appellate courts exist to apply intelligent thought, and review the best interests of the child and they often overturn the judge. That conclusion was not true 100% of the time, but very, very often. One day I will pull all of these decisions, and methodically show how the lower courts actively ignore the guidance of the Appellate Courts. Also based on my Appellate case reviews, I weaponized everything I learned from the Court of Appeals, and used it all to shut down my judge and her biased opinions. That was a central part of the reason why I was awarded custody. Basically, I stood in the shoes of the Appellate Court while providing my testimony and evidence. I spoke the way a Court of Appeals judge would speak. With that mindset, I steamrolled my judge and all of the lawyers in the room. And I am sharing this because it's important for society-at-large to understand that judges are not all-powerful and there are ways to cut them off at the knees. Happy Father's Day to you as well!!

That's awesome to hear! We may be comparing apples to oranges, based on the courthouse, county, and judge. I'd be very interested to know your courthouse, county, and judge. The court process can vary wildly within the same courthouse, universes apart from one county to the next -- and completely different law from one state to the next. With that said, it's awesome to hear that you were successful appealing your judge. That truly is exceptional and rare in New Mexico! Cheers!

​@@505sanchezyour a lawyer? Let's educate people. Judges aren't all powerful.. but they take that stance. WE THE PEOPLE.. and everyone is equal under the law. Name the creative ways based in law to prevent these nothing strangers from destroying lives and possibly endangering in certain situations..like mine. Creative ways to call out jurisdiction. The fact our rights are god given and we have rights to self determination. Also, the courts have no idea what's best interest..no stranger does..that's idealism at best. Bring a suit against that judge and have them removed. The thing about all caps name I believe is true, as a means for jurisdiction and authority. Let's stop giving up, and use any and all codes, statutes, to go e the parent all the rights. We know child support is unlawful and corrupt..but no one tells the client or helps. The system is incestuous and corrupt. Lawyers don't fight back..stand up. Call out non sense. Afraid of sanctions, disbarment..be a McKenzie friend and actually help. Corpus juris secundum states the client is last on the list of who the hired lawyer looks out for. Stop screwing with men and families..and fight these judges. If nothing else, call out conflict of interest due to financial interest. The bonds..the account they access..the c.r.i.s fund? It's improper and conflict. Let's do better.. kids lives are ruined. And mother's aren't best..look at society and all the studies. But it's a money business. Clearfield doctrine states courts are reduced to corporations operating in commerce..they have no actual authority. Be a godly human..we operate under gods laws, not these codes derived from roman law. We are free creations. Our rights are god given. But cowards won't stand up against it. It's paydays..large retainers.. and crap humans operating in a job capacity while having relations with all the players in court. It's disqusting.

But frequent switching is also bad for the child. It’s a lose lose situation. We had 50/50 and the frequent switching ended up causing serious anxiety issues that our son struggles with 10 years later.

Thanks for the comment and thought! I whole heartedly agree that judges SHOULD presume that 50-50 timesharing is in a child's best interests. I have ZERO interest to ever be a judge -- or family court judge -- but if I did, my platform would be to bring fairness to the system by promoting 50-50 visitation. Alas, this is not how most cases play out in Albuquerque, New Mexico. It's also important to note that the end result GREATLY depends on the courthouse, jurisdiction, and judge that one's case is in. Results can vary greatly with two judges in the same courthouse -- much less two judges in different jurisdictions and counties -- much less courts in different states. I've heard that some states do presume that 50-50 visitation is in a child's best interests. Cheers to those states. With that said, in Albuquerque, the judges tend to rely on the "Suggested Guidelines," created by the court. These Guidelines do not believe that 50-50 best serves young children (children under 5). Consequently, the court almost never will grant 50-50 timesharing when the decision is put into their hands. This has been my personal observation for over 14 years of practice. I am not agreeing with this fact, or tendency. I am merely relaying the fact. New Mexico law does presume that a child is best served by joint legal custody. With that said, joint legal custody relates to decision making ability, whereas physical custody relates to visitation and timesharing. Physical custody is always based on a child's best interests. In other words, there is no presumption that children -- or young children for that matter -- are best served by 50-50. Ultimately, the judge determines the child's best interests -- and appealing that decision is VERY difficult. In any event, I hope that you and your family are healthy and well!

There's an increasing number of people dissatisfied with family court judges. Remember --> judges are elected officials. Rock the vote and make a change. Best wishes!

That is the number one key it's about the money

Absolutely. I especially agree with the point about the unemployed parent. In a bit of a twist, in one case the other side was an unemployed father with a laundry list of issues (you name it -- he had that issue). Nevertheless, because he was the "primary caregiver" the case was a complete curveball. I certainly don't agree with this tendency -- I'm calling the tendency as I see it.

Sadly, some parents don't see things the same, reasonable way as you. I'm sure you're a great mother. Best wishes!

Because the women want to hold on the child it comes with financial benefits.

My ex doesn’t want to give me 50/50. I know her friends tell her not too and are coaching her through this. And she also wants my sons to bond with her sister more than they bond with me.

@davidjuarez7822 she is trying to isolate you from them. If she hasn't already, when you want to get your kid, she will send him to her sister house or somewhere else. Document everything.

Preach! The family court system is far from perfect and has holes that can be exploited. I like your idea of shifting the burden to avoid power imbalances. I'm just describing the policy and system as I see it -- I'm not agreeing with it. I have a PhD friend that is the head of the Psychology's child development department. He was blown away when he saw/heard how judges decide timesharing for children under 5 --> with many thoughts and points similar to yours. With all this said, judge are elected officials. Rock the vote! I hear growing rumbles about the family court system. Despite those rumbles, the same judges are elected over and over and over again. How can you change policies and procedures with the same people running the show?

@@505sanchez your content is well received and very well appreciated, and I do understand our family law system is the way it is, imperfect but still a good system that can be improved. I also understand as a licensed attorney you are an official with ethical requirements to respect and uphold the integrity our judicial system, as must I and the other dads going through the process so no problem there. Thank you for providing your valuable content, how to navigate the system, including this thoughtful reply, as it gives me hope and reminds me to VOTE! I totally forgot that we vote some of the judge officials, in the first place. That might be a good video segment, on when the judges get voted in and at what point can we ask them these difficult questions about their philosophy of parenting. Wish me luck on my CA evidentiary hearing in two weeks and thank you Attorney Matthew Sanchez!

Preach! Your words echo the growing sentiment of men that post comments. To date, I've never had a Father/Man praise the family court system. The system certainly has holes and issues. With that said --> judges are elected officials. Therefore, rock the vote!

the 1st things that parents must to look are the wellness of the children... but father and mother are fighting for money for that and other reasons are in court... irrational parents generally is the problem...

Interesting perspective.

@@505sanchez Its not a concept, it states it in the statutes. They get all kind of grants and incentives. The only perspective is, your lies have become truth to the mothers and its deemed unconstitutional and fraud. We will fight til DOR goes away, promise you that.

Title IV-D! Under Title IV-D, the federal government reimburses states $2 for every $3 the state spends on eligible program costs for providing child. support services

Thanks for your thoughts. Best wishes to you and your family!

1. The constitution says you have an unalienable right to raise your offspring without interference from the government. 2. There is a presumption of 50/50 custody is in the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD unless one parent is PROVED as unfit (abuse, neglect, abandonment, or domestic violence) 3. All states Best interest of the child FACTORS point to 50/50. Look it up. 4. I don't "visit" my child, I PARENT my child. Change the court's verbiage from "visitation" to PARENTING TIME. Change the court's verbiage from "respondent" to FATHER. So on, and so forth... It doesn't matter what the court thinks. Argue what the law says. Then make the judge state on the record the findings of facts based on the totality of the circumstances and the court's conclusion of LAW.

​@siraajmadyun6681 Excatly, we are not stupid. You don't visit with your own kids. This is a trip to the beach. We have a legal right to custody of our kids. Some men are starting to realize the court is filling a contract with child support enforcement. Right in the federal contract, it says all government agencies involved share the money also includes custody and visitation.

@Mrjones-ed7hi It's so corrupt that it's almost unbelievable. The Constitution which is the LAW OF THE LAND and nothing trumps the Constitution says any dispute over $20 you have a right to trial by your peers/jury. Wonder why family court isn't consistent with the Constitution.... Also, there are laws against locking people up for non payment of child support. Look up the Dear Colleague Letter from the Department of Justice. You are also supposed to get free representation by an attorney if they are threatening to put you in jail for non payment. Then even before that, they are supposed to have a hearing and gather evidence of your ability to pay and see if the person is "willfully not paying". Lastly, the contract is between the mother and the state, not the Father. This is illegal to make a Father pay a debt he didn't sign up for. Its indentured servitude. Slavery. Then the interest on Child Support, how the state can make you pay interest on your offspring is crazy.... The mother gets state assistance and child support which keeps the debt going. It's corrupt beyond measure.

In New Mexico, the law is that at age 14 the courts must consider the child's desires. Nevertheless, the court must only consider the child's desires -- and the child's desires are one factor among many. By policy, from my experience, Albuquerque courts usually allow a child that is 16 to "decide with their feet" with whom they want to live. Best wishes!

Preach! Ironically, I just got back from the Kentucky Derby last night. Needless to say, there are HUGE differences between Kentucky and Albuquerque in virtually every way. Anyways, best wishes to you and your family!

Awesome! I'd lean towards 50-50 if I was a judge. Also, from my experience, judges in small towns tend to be open to 50-50 at a young age. With that said, each case and county varies. The video is geared towards parents in Albuquerque/Bernalillo County/2nd Judicial District Court. Also, the court will almost always approve 50-50 by stipulation. Cheers and best wishes to you and your family!

Consider filing a Motion to Modify. Sadly, not many praises about family court with my comments. However, I hope that you and your family are healthy and well!

Sorry to hear it. I hope that you and your family are healthy and well!

Cheers to CA! That certainly is not the case in NM. Best wishes to you and your family!

visitations can be different for every case... 14% visitation for parent without custody and joined legal custody... physical custody for one parent... factor: place where the parents live, Scholes age, works from the parents, etc, who is better for provide stability for the child, etc)

1. The constitution says you have an unalienable right to raise your offspring without interference from the government. 2. There is a presumption of 50/50 custody is in the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD unless one parent is PROVED as unfit (abuse, neglect, abandonment, or domestic violence) 3. All states Best interest of the child FACTORS point to 50/50. Look it up. 4. I don't "visit" my child, I PARENT my child. Change the court's verbiage from "visitation" to PARENTING TIME. Change the court's verbiage from "respondent" to FATHER. So on, and so forth... It doesn't matter what the court thinks. Argue what the law says. Then make the judge state on the record the findings of facts based on the totality of the circumstances and the court's conclusion of LAW.

You’re high as a kite! 10000 cases to every 1 50/50 custody time in CA. You obviously havnt been through the system, that or the mother was smoking crack and in and out of jail.

@@roberts735 I got divorced in CA. Default is 50/50 unless one parent can prove the other should have less time.

Parental alienation is a legal conclusion. Accordingly, the court usually only finds that parental alienation is present if an appointed expert, or attorney that represents the child (Guardian ad Litem), conducts an investigation and makes a finding of alienation.

my case.... the alienation is coming from the father.... you can record the child when is showing the alienation... the lawyers only make bigger the problem between the parents.. only they want money... not the child!

​@ladyro4525 the longer the case goes on the more money the attorney can make. All of this has nothing to do with the child.

I'm sure there are BIG differences between New Mexico and Florida child custody laws and policies. There certainly are HUGE differences in almost every other respect (politics, geography, weather, culture, population, etc.). Florida undoubtedly will also play a much bigger role in the upcoming presidential election than New Mexico. With that said, best wishes to you and your family in Florida!

Good for Kentucky. Huge difference between Kentucky and New Mexico. Best wishes to you and your family!

There are many different factors at play. The big factors are the state, county, courthouse, judge, and case facts. In Albuquerque, NM that ruling would be highly unusual and would suggest very unique case facts.

In Albuquerque, NM it is highly unusual for a judge to award 50-50 timesharing with a child under five. This is especially true if one parent has not established a bonding attachment with the other parent. With that said, this can change if there are highly unusual facts that impact the child's best interests.

Speak with an experienced CA family law attorney. Best wishes to you and your family!

Calling it as I've seen it. Cheers to Florida!

As a father of two, I am sorry to hear that. Best wishes and I hope that you are healthy and well!

Preach. Back in the day there was a legal principle called the Tender Years Doctrine. This basically said that children young children (under 5/6) are best served by being primarily raised by the mother, unless she is unfit to care for the children. The last time that this doctrine was cited in case law, in New Mexico, was 1962. Nevertheless, the ghost of this doctrine still hovers around NM family courts. Consequently, the reality is that most of the times, mother get primary custody with children under 5/6. I feel your frustration. I have two children under 5. If my wife divorced me, realistically, the only way that I'm getting 50-50 is if she agrees. If not, no chance in ABQ.

@@505sanchez Certain states have already i believe adapter 50/50. To give the child more time with one parent than the other is absurd. Times have certainly evolved and so should the system. Women use to get these in the 80s and prior because at that time women were stay at home moms and also only the men worked. That’s how the 20% of your paycheck came to be. But alot of women make there own money and more now and the system should reflect that. I guarantee you alot of women would turn over the child to there dads if the system was built to give the child without any compensation if child support. What’s more interesting is the name child support is the support of the child, but no custodial parents are ordered by the courts to report if in fact the support was used for the child. Again, alot of issues in this system.

Mother by mutual agreement, or judge by "best interests of the child."

I feel you. The decision is largely based on which parent was the child's primary caregiver before and after the separation. With that said, many men are far from happy with timesharing for children under 5. Best wishes!

@@505sanchez I was the primary care giver but I dont have a vagina.

That's a bad order. "Reasonable and frequent" depends on a wide variety of factors, but ultimately "the best interests of the child." Nevertheless, the order should have set clear parameters, such as: Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 3:30 PM to 7:30 PM, etc. An order that only states "reasonable and frequent" is too ambiguous and lacks teeth for enforcement. Sorry to hear about your experience. That vague order set you up for issues and failure. Otherwise, I hope that your family are healthy and well!

@@505sanchez Says who???? Who's choice is it to take them to daycare, to take them to the doctor? Its not the judge, its not the attorney. Its the "parents" and unless your DNA is part of my daughter, no one and I mean no one will tell me what time sharing to have or what I need to do, or what day is best. its 50/50 and state needs to stay out of our lives

You paying child support? If you are it's not going to change. But keep putting paperwork to back in court or try to get that judge removed.

As a father of two young boys, I definitely feel your frustration!

@@505sanchez Then be the attorney that exposes the fraud in child support.

That's highly unusual. I would be shocked if that ruling came from an Albuquerque family court judge. Results can vary from courthouse to courthouse -- and county to county. I'd be interested to know the city and state that the ruling came from.

Not really sure what you mean. However, I often write and talk about how you guys (i.e. the general public) re-elect the same judges over and over again. Remember: judges are elected officials. Therefore, rock the vote and make a change.

​@@505sanchezif your a lawyer how are you going to act like you don't know what the social security act says?

I'm not endorsing the court's preference -- just calling it how I've seen it over 14 years of trial practice. As a father of two young boys, I personally believe that the court should presume that 50-50 visitation best serves children. Best wishes to you and your family!

They want a primary parent that creates child support payments. Has nothing to do with the child. How do you stick one parent with all the custody and tell the other parent normally the father you get a visit on Friday - Sunday. That's makes you not a parent by definition. Then once the child gets older or faces alienation pushed by mom then the judges don't want to change the order. To keep the contract fulfilled.

Cheers to WV! Best wishes from NM.

Judges are elected officials. Put down the key board and pick up an election ballot. Rock the vote and make a change.

@@505sanchez they all corrupt no need to vot

I feel your frustration. - dad

Consider this: Judges are elected officials. Rock the vote and be the change!

There certainly are strong opinions on both sides of the argument. Cheers!

Best wishes to you and your family!

1. The constitution says you have an unalienable right to raise your offspring without interference from the government. 2. There is a presumption of 50/50 custody is in the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD unless one parent is PROVED as unfit (abuse, neglect, abandonment, or domestic violence) 3. All states Best interest of the child FACTORS point to 50/50. Look it up. 4. I don't "visit" my child, I PARENT my child. Change the court's verbiage from "visitation" to PARENTING TIME. Change the court's verbiage from "respondent" to FATHER. So on, and so forth... It doesn't matter what the court thinks. Argue what the law says. Then make the judge state on the record the findings of facts based on the totality of the circumstances and the court's conclusion of LAW.