I remember about a decade ago I was at a show and overheard some people talking about FFDP. One of the women there explicitly said she would sell her soul to/for Ivan Moody… my heart goes out to her and hope she’s turned her life around lol

It's unfathomable to me how successful these guys are while I watch talented bands struggle.

Heavy music for people that watch the Grammys

Thank you for your sacrifice to bring us this review. Much love to you guys! Stay safe seek therapy if needed, mental health is important. Looking forward to the next one 💜🤘🏽

As a young teen, I can say I liked 5FDP, which i quickly grew out of once I discovered bands like Cannibal Corpse and Immolation. Their music is not just trash, but the entire landfill of garbage.

I know you guys suffered a lot by getting through this whole record, but these negative reviews are so much fun to watch xD What band discography are you guys ranking next? \m/

"This is their 9th album/hate crime" as a person who enjoys some five finger death punch that shit made me giggle like a little school girl 🤣🤣🤣

I was in my local record shop today and somebody's poor mother was in there picking this album up for their son.

Hey guys! Actual FFDP fan here and I can fully agree with this review. It is sad to see how hard this band has fallen off even if they never were really that great of a band to begin with. I am on the subreddit and the album leaked back in June and all the fans were in pure shock at just how bad the album was and most saying they liked 4 songs at best. It’s blatantly obvious this band is horribly toxic and can’t stand being in the same room as each other and they are just trying to cash in till Ivan pulls some other shit because Sobriety clearly has not calmed him down.

Well. Out of morbid curiosity, we KZfaqd the album after watching your review. Around track 5, my wife went to another room to watch cartoons with my little boy. I survived to track 7 before I broke. I salute you guys for suffering through the entire thing. I just can't do it.

I'll always have an interesting relationship with FFDP. In 2007 when I was 13, their debut album really opened my eyes to harsh vocals and heavier metal in general. Such potential. It really is a shame that they've become a parody of themselves. I do believe they're all pretty damn solid on their instruments! I've never even had a problem with Ivan Moody's voice. He's got a great, husky baritone and can be pretty versatile. It's his lyricism that has destroyed all of this band's integrity over the past 10 years... I can do without his big dumb mouthy meathead attitude and antics too. Dude's a serious clown. Though I still do find at least a handful of decent songs on each new record they drop if I feel like shutting my brain off and feeling like an angsty shithead for a few minutes... 🤷

Came here after your references in the Sleep Token review to relive this fun 😂

Have y’all noticed the skulls on your table look like the skull on the afterlife cover?

I forgot to say in my first comment that you guys earned a sub, you got a great sense of humor and good chemistry. Keep doing what you're doing brothers! And nice maiden flag, up the irons 🤘

How do we get in touch to have you guys review our music? We just finish collaboration with Tim Ripper Owens!

Hey guys, thanks for this video. I’m in the hospital for vitamins and to rehydrate so the content really helps and keep me laughing. All is well though! On the mend. Just thank you guys from the bottom of my heart, without being able to mix music or watch reviews I would lose my goddamn mind in here. Peace! 🖤

Oh man, I haven’t laughed so much in a while. I really was in tears during this review. Thank you for making my day. I have not heard a single note from this band. They just look like something I would never be into. After listening to you guys, I have a morbid curiosity to check them out 😬

I salute you for having the courage to actually listen to that whole album

I know they're a joke now, but there was a time when 5FDP made at least respectable music. War is the Answer is actually still one of my favorite albums, and I'll defend it and The Way of the Fist. Like, you can't say that the lyrics to Far From Home aren't pretty great, (and leagues better than anything they write now). But yeah, 5FDP are taking cringe to whole new levels nowadays. I just try to remember what was and ignore what now is.

I’m so sorry guys. I’ll send flowers to each of your families.

Any thoughts on the brilliant new Five Finger Death Punch album?

Would love to know what that song was in the beginning of the video

I've missed your trolling. Obviously I love your normal content, hence why I keep coming back, but seeing you guys talk shit about bad albums is genuinely fucking brilliant. After watching you guys rip the fucking shit out of this album for 20 minutes I can honestly say this is my new favourite video on your channel. I didn't think you could shit on anything in a review as much as you did for Six Feet Under, but I was sorely mistaken! Fucking bravo guys, fair play for getting through the whole thing. I look forward to the next actual review where hopefully you can put this absolute travesty out of your heads 🤣

Ok, hear me out; Would you rather listen to AfterLife, OR listen to a Graveyard Classics record where SFU just covers songs from St. Anger, Illud Divinum Insanus, AND a FFDP song or 2 as a bonus?

I hope this album is as great as Six Feet Under - Nightmares of the Decomposed. That album was a MASTERPIECE 👀🙃

I knew there was a reason I love this channel. Great accurate review.

Love the shirt, Jon! RIP Riley Gale.

I was at Walmart the other day and saw an exclusive Walmart blue pressing of this album. It was the most FFDP thing I’ve ever seen

You need to review something good now, so may I suggest Grenadier - Trumpets Blare in Blazing Glory, and the new album from Protector - Excessive Outburst of Depravity? They are both frontrunners for my Album of the Year. Amazing shit.

My sister has been trying to get me into FFDP for years, and I have disowned her every time they release a new album. Looks like she is gonna have a lonely Christmas this year.

I was in high school when these guys were coming up,. There was one point in my life that I actually thought that FFDP was a halfway decent band. Now that I look back on it, I do not know what I was thinking. This is like music that is like "I am so tough. This is what metal is and should be." I am sad to admit that I found these guys before Pantera, Lamb of God, Machine Head, Down, Cannibal Corpse, Decapitated, Possessed, etc. Around 2013, something happened where I started to discover all of these amazing metal bands and I realized that FFDP puts on this facade that they are a metal band for real metalheads...and they're not. I don't know what I was ever thinking. I put on this new record and I turned it off. It's an awful, overproduced, crappy lyrical mess that I will never listen to again. If you are a fan of this band, cool. For me, I am glad I discovered all the other bands above and I left behind this joke of a band. P.S. I still watch Thralls of Metal every week. Work has made it to where I cannot view the live premiers. However, you guys still rock. Keep rockin' and giving me awesome metal videos, but please not with this band ever again hahaha \m/ \m/

Is it weird that I now want you to rank their full discography ? Great video, guys !

I was waiting for the 5 stars. You got TWO of the red handprint skull things from the cover on your table

I 100% have no idea why some bands like this get so many fans when there are so many more better metal bands, who can play better, do better vocals and write intelligent smarter songs that get close to no attention, it literally blows my mind. I once had an argument with a 5fdp fan where I was told if I like pantera I should like 5fdp because they sound pretty much the same, I don't know how many drugs and monsters he had consumed that day, 😂

There were so many quotable one liners in this review that I legitimately fell over from laughter. FFDP are an enigma to me and I'm puzzled how anyone likes them. To each their own I guess. Thanks for this review - it was pure comedy gold. 😂

I'm glad I finally watched this video. I, of course, have complete disdain for this band, but you guys saved it. Very funny stuff! I spent a decade as a strip club DJ in Flint Michigan and had to play plenty of this awfulness. Every time I dropped the proverbial needle, I exited stage left and burned a left-handed cigarette. They owe me pot, too!

What kind of genre would FFDP be? The meehhh kind? I'm sad to post I own.... War is the Answer,Way of the Fist,And Justice for None. I'm sowwy.

This review is a work of art. It's your Mona Lisa. Well done.

Listened to this, lyrics are shit indeed. Had to listen to the sick the dying and the dead to get some form of appreciation of life again

This reminds me of how I felt about Korn in the late 90s ... not the music, i mean your review. I haven't listened tot he music. i think i heard one of their songs once, but this is so far out of my proverbial wheelhouse, and, I suspect, that of most metalheads as well. Do you guys legimiately have fun doing these kinds of reviews? if so, cool. I sort of question why metal fans even bother talking about music like this. i was struck though by something you guys said -- is this really what the average person thinks metal is now? I always thought of metal as being very literate, mostly made by people into interesting cult genre stuff, ancient history, and the like. Not ... whatever this is. Also, I enjoy you guys a lot, but I'm afraid to hit the like button on this video because I know I'll start seeing this band showing up everywhere afterwards thanks to the algorithm.

I can watch this review forever. Never laughed so hard in my life. Well done, b'ys...

Y’all crack me up lol I was laughing my ass off driving home listening to this review 😂

Thanks for this review guys, you have saved me a few quid/ dollars, I liked the first 2 albums, what the heck has happened to this band? And thanks for putting it out there that us metalheads are a good bunch of people, I have never met an angry metalhead.

BWAAHAHAAAHAHAAA!!!!! That is the best score I've ever seen for an album. 👏 👏 👏 A 2 liter of dip spit, and Jon, "I was molested. In the ears. By this band." Haha!!!! I'm dying you guys. 🤣 I give your review of this album a Spine Tapping 11/10. 🤘

Lol....another great review to brighten my day! Thank you!

I'm really surprised you took this on. Having said that, your review was exactly what I expected...lol!

Would you believe this is the review that helped me find this channel. I'll just say this, in terms of five finger death punch, I like their first 2 albums, but going into the 2010s they fell off hard. This video is still hilarious months later. Also poor Andy James

I remember hearing my first 5 finger song and it was happily my last, not sure which song it was. It was on some video and I voiced my dismay only to be confronted with die hard fans stating that they liked heavy music and I somehow was not part of the club. Amen

Military wife rock

Is it weird that the skulls on your table look like the skull on the album cover

I still enjoy the first 2 albums from this band, what a shame they never returned to that sound

Awesome review, luckily I don't own any 5fdp physically, but did have tge first few digitally, and saw them live with Avenged 7X ( maybe 10 years ago?) But I've not felt tge need to listen to then since then. Really enjoyed your "review" guys, most entertaining. Cheers 🤘 🍻

Just watching your reactions to this was priceless. Could never get into this band , it all just seemed to be a gimmick to me. Great review as always. Love your honesty. 🤘😁🤘

I always wonder how really good musicians feel when they join a bad band. Like John 5 with motley crue

Bollocks. FFDP are quite good. I thought you'd both be wearing your FFDP t-shirts for this video?

I was listening to a song on KZfaq, it was so terrible KZfaq recommended Nickelback and (I can't believe I'm saying this) I enjoyed the new Nickelback song way more that one. My point, I admire your strength having to suffer and deal with this stink hole of an album just to bring us this review.

My buddy asked about seeing Megadeth, but I didn't want to spend $100 if Five Finger Death Punch was headlining (I just don't know anything about them). Sounds like a dodged a bullet. Weird thing is I CONSTANTLY get articles and interviews about them showing up on social media for whatever reason.

Also Nick's Ivan Moody impression was spot on 😂

Only have been a fan of a few select songs (popular ones, Wash it All Away, Bad Company, Jekyll and Hyde, Wrong Side of Heaven) but even with no thoughts before hand and open mindedness I've still come to only enjoy 2 songs, Welcome to the Circus and Roll Dem Bones. Not even lyrically, just instrumentally. Normally when I listen in to an album, worst case scenario I enjoy half the album, but this is just so much worse and liking the popular songs so much I expected better.

The last three FFDP albums were an absolute *DUMPSTER FIRE!* Also, I saw FFDP twice, first time was at the 2013 Mayhem Festival with Amon Amarth, Mastodon and Rob Zombie [who headlined] and second time was in Abbotsford in 2016 with Papa Roach [who were ABSOLUTE SHIT!] Toward the end of Papa Roach's set, a dude to the right of me in my section was both hammered AND high! During the intermission between Papa Roach and Five Finger Death Punch, the dude *PUKED HIS GUTS UP* on the floor in my section and the dude's sister came around, helped him out of his seat and took him home. By the way, this sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before!

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, then have we found the perfect location for a Five Finger Death Punch concert?

Yes I did enjoy this! Whenever I need a decent laugh, I'll put this video on because it's hilarious. Listening to you guys trash this awful record makes my day! 😆😆😆

I remember discovering ffdp back in 2007,their first album was good I used to listen to it non stop...The second album was good too but from there it went downhill..

My condolences to you guys for listening to this album. I wouldn’t be able to make it through it. I’d rather spend over 40 minutes enjoying myself watching this review back to back, rather than waste over 40 minutes listening to this album. I haven’t had any interest in this band since I was back in high school, and it’s going to stay that way.

Oh my god you're doing it!! You made it through the album!! Oh my god it's so bad! This is gonna be a good one 🤣🤣 I honestly find 5FDP the most frustrating out of all the butt rock bands. I used to be a fan of them, way back in my last few years of senior school, and War is the Answer and American Capitalist still get the odd play from me just for pure nostalgia, despite knowing full well that Ivan Moody is one of the worst lyricists out there and cringing at some of his lines from those songs. But everything from 2015 onwards has been pure, steaming hot garbage. It's frustrating because they're actually better musicians than most of the other bands of their ilk, especially now with Andy James on guitar who is a fucking incredible player, and I know they have it in them to do so much more, just based on that and also what I heard way back in their early years. The talent exists, the ability to write good music exists. But they are actively choosing not to do that and instead shit out the same phoned in crap every 2 years. But because of my relationship with them in the past, I'll always give them a chance. Even though I know I'm always gonna end up hating it. I bought all of them up to F8, which luckily I didn't bother getting cause I don't need the wasted shelf space. This one I'm just not even gonna go near 🤣 This one is the worst they've ever done for me. At least Got Your Six and And Justice for None had Boots and Blood and Sham Pain respectively, songs which were so bad they were hilarious, but this album doesn't even have those sorts of songs going for it. It's just 40 odd minutes of tired, uninspired, downright cringeworthy material, with lyrics that even a 12 year old writing their first metal song would think are bad. Please 5FDP, if you're not gonna bother attempting to do something passable, just give up. For the sake of the whole world, give up!!

This has nothing to do with the album but I thought you might like to know (Ted Kirkpatrick from tourniquet passed away yesterday)

Can't wait for the 5 Finger, Stained and Nikelback tour.

First, hats off to a great review, you guys crack me up. That being said, I listened to half this album just to hear for myself. I actually had never listened to FFDP before, and I got some thoughts. And you guys aren’t wrong at how cringy it’s is, but I would watch the shit out of a trashy Some Kind of Monster making of DVD of a FFDP album just for laughs. That shit would be trash tv gold. I also noticed he had some overt references to fat chicks in a couple songs. Welcome to the circus I find catchy like an *NSYNC song. So yeah, it’s a very polished turd that I wouldn’t mind watching being created.

Speaking of Bloodbath, I hope you guys review the new one!

Bro metal

Is it worst that saint anger?

Absolutely loved this video. Also, now I know what Kodiak Wintergreen is, and... yeah, no... not having any of that, either.

Bwhahahahaha!!! I've been waiting for reviews like this. Absolutely hilarious. My favorite zinger is "This album is like a herpes flare up, once it starts, you can't wait until it's over." -Tom Bolt 1 ball scratch out of 5. Andy James playing with FFDP?!?!?! You guys broke my heart. Wtf. I hope he's OK. Good pop country is brad paisley. That dude can play.

Is it possible that Five Finger Dick Punch In the Fart Box actually is a laxative orchestra? Like, that’s their whole purpose? If so, you have to review their "music" from another perspective.

I think you should try do a ffdp Vs six feet under video. Somehow..

If this "band" is the best that Vegas can do, then Las Vegas needs to stick with gambling and casino buffets

I come back to this video every couple of weeks and recommend it to every metal fan I know. It is the GOAT of trolling reviews 🤘

Welcome to the Circus contains the lyric "Hang your hat and hate at the door"

I listened to a couple songs and legit, their are some decent riffs in there but my god are the guitars buried so deep in the mix and are so freaking processed that they sound like a synthesizer

Why do you own two Five Finger Death Punch skulls?

I love how honest you were here. Thanks for this!

Ill be honest i dont think I’ve listen to any of their albums before. Really don’t know much about them. But they do have a shit ton of hit singles that are like top whatever on the music charts or whatever ya call it over the years.

OMFG I can't wait!!!! 😆🤣🤣🤣

This is totally hilarious, but also really interesting and mystifying to me. I live in a kind of vacuum, in Japan without any metal head mates. I listen to a fuck ton of metal but I get to avoid Buttrock radio and all the associated shite. I reckon I might never have heard Five Finger… lucky fuckin me I guess. What’s intriguing though is that when I check ‘em out on Wikipedia, the aggregate ratings from the various media are all pretty high, but then you guys, the Metal Meltdown, Questy and so on absolutely trash them. You’ll be glad to know that I trust all you guys a hell of a lot more than I trust Jukebox Metal, Kerrang, Allmusic, Loudwire etc, but it is totally mystifying. I’m absolutely sure it totally sucks - everything you guys said about it is so spot on when it comes to the things I hate about commercial music and commercial “heavy” music in particular. From what you said, I just don’t think you can be wrong. The only thing left for me to do is listen to it myself. Is there anyone out there who can hold my hand while I do listen to it? Perhaps Robert from the Metal Meltdown can lend me Chompy ? (Sorry, I know you’d never lend him out).

Well, not all Kyles. I couldn't name a single 5FDP song. How bad could it be really. Is this album worse then Lulu or Risk or even Twisted into Form.

Me being a FFDP fan I find this hilarious seeing as FFDP brought awareness to veterans, and did alot for them. But it's there opinion not mine. P.S I like ICP Also I do agree, there old stuff was way better. But Wrong Side Of Heaven was amazing. Sadly Afterlife feels like a parody, there new stuff is ass tho

I’m seeing both nights of metallicas 72 season tour First night with mammoth and the pantera celebration was fantastic. All 3 bands killed it. Zakk is a shred God. Dime would be proud and Phil sounded fantastic I enjoy ice nine kills, but since my dad doesn’t care for them, we’re arriving right as their set ends. Unfortunately we’ll have to put up with a whole hour long set of ffdp before Metallica. I’m ready to laugh

Oh man that Jammin Jon shirt... Definitely one of the biggest losses in metal over the last years! :(

Five finger death punch had some decent albums but I only like a few songs from each album , however this new album I only like 2 songs "Welcome to the circus" and IOU , I perfer their old stuff. They have some decent songs with powerful lyrics check out the song "Coming down" a song about Suicide that saved my life , Wrong side of heaven is also a good song , I Only ;like a few songs from each album . here is my top 5 songs 1. Coming Down, "coming down" is a song very personal to me , it saved me from suicide and means a lot to me. 2. Never Enough 3. The Darkness settles in. 4. Wrong side of Heaven and 5: I refuse. if I may I would like to add a bonus song to this list and that would be ,, I was going to go with The Pride but , as much as I like that song , I can't really relate to it , so then , My bonus song would have to be "The Bleeding"

Never heard the band. Really. It appears not many like this band. The band did play a free concert June 2010 at my Army base in Germany. They even let German locals come to the concert. I didn’t go, as I was getting ready to go to Afghanistan. At least they did something nice for the troops.

Now I have to check this out asap. I don't knowingly know any FFDP songs, so this should be fun.

Butt country... Florida Georgia Line. They're basically the 5FDP of country. Either band is most frequently heard blaring from a Carolina Squatted Ram diesel with the tow mirrors permanently flipped up. Also... Five Finger Death Punch sounds like a weird sex thing. "Gave my old lad"y the five finger death punch last night.

I tell ya, they're okay sometimes, but unfortunately, they should not be in the same category as those of Megadeth and System of A Down, but that's me🤷...if y'all are interested, one of the greatest metal songs I've ever heard is "Cities of Smoke" by Soothsayer

Man I needed this video, laughed my ass off. My gf in the background goes “ damn they don’t like these guys eh”

Great video guys, would’ve loved to have watched a livestream of y’all listening to this trash heap for the first time🤘🏻

Five Finger is one of the biggest embarrassments to all of us that live in Las Vegas. one of the lamest bands ever.

Options ..everyone has one.. I respect yours …but that’s yours not mine

Dave Mustaine must have loved it since he is gonna be OPENING for them 😆I had to listen to the whole album out of morbid curiosity, who wrote those lyrics? a 15yo angry teenager ? They are f'ing hilarious though !

Thank you for the video! Regarding the dumb lyrics, maybe they aren't supposed to be smart?

5 finger death punch is a band someone gets into when you don't have an older brother or sister to help guide you. Or no friends. FFDP is what school shooters listen to. I use powerslave to cleanse my speakers.