Cynical Reviews 🆑🆎🆎🅾️

The fifty dollar million mistake. nice title

Not gonna lie, you kinda made me wanna watch this movie. Great video man, you had some hilarious commentary.

You sounded so tired and pissed off throughout the review that I was worried you’d end it all on camera.

" AnD wE WoUlD'vE gOtTeN aWaY wItH mAkInG mOrE mOnEy If It WeReN't FoR tHaT mEdDlInG tHiEf"

What?? I thought it was released in 90's or something

@@h10hunter Toy Story 1 had more quality in its animation.

Imao, this looks like a cheap film that came out in 2003.

It looks like naff late 90s music videos, if you look up "sweet like chocolate", that's the quality it reminds me of. That was about 1999

Even in 2002, the year it was supposed to be released, that still would have been considered bad!

Which actually kind of makes sense when you consider that the movie thinks it's WWII with food instead of the giant crappy commercial it ultimately is.

I feel like it was supposed to be a reference to another film, just like the majority of the content in the film. Probably some film around the 1930s-1940s about Nazis occupying France set inside a bar/cafe/resort where they house some sort of rebellion leader or something.

@@DustyOrange Ah, Das Boot.

@@DustyOrange Actually I think it was in Morocco, I think the title of the movie was perhaps a city in that country, but I am not sure.

Dylan Higbie Casablanca

The footage from this review alone gave me a stress induced heart attack

This

I was not prepared to take him so literally when he said that. It was only too accurate!

Every Frame A Sleep Paralysis Dæmon

The video equivalent of your brain losing oxygen before death.

Not quite. The slur is "kike", which still close enough for this to be highly questionable.

Ike, short for icon, is a three letter word. You know what else is a three letter word? Jew, short for Jewish person, is a three letter word too.

Ike isn't a slur. Kike is the slur but the implication is blatant

@@madamefeast4824 the worst part is I honestly can't tell if it was intentional or not

Yeah this movie has weird stuff the fact that Its for kids Is like what ?

"No, not Foodfight! I'm sorry, I'll-I'll clean my room, wash the dishes, anything! Not Foodfight! Please!"

>Creates Hell This is the worst thing ever >Food fight is created Bruh...

That's borderline child abuse.

I would call the social services if that happened

I do this with my brother and Last Airbender movie because I'm a horrible person

Lol maybe this film caused the end of the world.

That's not right. We're all still here.

Whoa this is long, ill see the movie..

JIgsaw But than it came back to life with Avengers

@@redactedredacted1860 whooosshhh

Then they used five bucks and an energy bar to do the actual animation

Nope this movie was made to use as an Advanced interrogation method

@@SimpSoul I know that’s what actually happened but my theory still sounds more plausible

I like to imagine that zero dollars were spent on this movie and the rest were on drugs and advertising this crap

I thought this said LDS made sense

Toxic relationship

Even worse! She shouldn’t be eating her own raisins either cause they’ll kill her too!

I had some help. From my good friend alcohol.

Cynical Reviews If there's one animated film worse than Food Fight it would definitely be that one Animat had to do a vlog style review on it titled "THE WORST ANIMATED FILM EVER." The one made by the freak Jimmy Screamerclauz.

Along with Jontron

Wet sock? Don't be kind, no words can describe how shite it is

@@CynicalReviews if you're an alcoholic after that let me join you, cause I am from this mere video

So you never finished the movie? No sympathy for quitters :p go breakdancing on the floor or go home. I'm just joking.

VelociQueen ..can you sue? Please sue this, we don’t want it

If this is true I hope you’re okay now.

I know I'm late, but I'm really sorry :(

Bruh.

I just discovered that I did watch this movie when I was a kid because of the washing machine scene, since it was the only scene that was vividly remembered, so yeah the thing was so bad that my brain blocked out everything else from my mind to not deal with the trauma

@@rockhistoria2537 I envy you

You just reminded me of the south park supernanny episode... *It's from hell*

This movie was filmed on VR chat and is that obviously bad that is funny to me (sometimes because wtf was going on? XDD) You cannot make a movie this bad if you not make a huge efort and that's admirable somehow(?

He’d give you a swift end.

It'd be like Harrison Ford whenever he's asked about the Star Wars Holiday Special.

I doubt he'd remember. Years of cocaine and crack abuse has melted his brain.

He would absolutely not remember

he'd give them hiv

I'm an adult and I still find the animation disturbing.

it also says in the profanity that one of the characters says the n word... yikes

😂😂😂😂😂

That’s because it’s true, the animation is horrifying

@@iyonaportobanco same with Norm of the North(but they fixed it)

Dryer, but yeah it's not lost on me either.

​@@TheBonkleFox Yes. We also ignor the fact that he got an orgasm from peeing himself....yes that was also in the movie XD

That would actually be a funny joke in a better movie

@Boa-Noah But a shit-ton of them fled to Argentina. Would have made more sense to use that country as a reference.

FOVoid Well Lady X did say “Don’t cry for me Charlie Tuna,” based on “Don’t cry for me Argentina.

We're living in the worst timeline

DAMN YOU TIME TRAVELERS

😭

I find that way easier to believe than the idea that sane and sober individuals allowed this monstrosity

Threshold rose to power instead of Pixar,and someone who was sick of all the threshold-produced movies and was a fan of Pixar’s older stuff got their revenge by going back in time and sabotaging the production of foodfight. This in turn changed our timeline,creating a divergence where Pixar rose to popularity and threshold remained a small indie studio.

*Cool aid man jumps þrough þe monitor*

Not to mention it's a food commercial and the mascots in question skew older. I thought for sure this was straight-up made as an adult comedy cartoon never intended to be touched, or even looked at, by a child.

@@autobotstarscream765 it reminds me of Sausage Party but 1000x less taste

Well, just to make it more simple and less shocking, just imagine South Park, but instead of the four boys, it was Mrs. Butterworth, Toucan Sam, Charlie the Tuna, and Tony the Tiger. Also, instead of using construction paper and computer animation, it was instead animated by using cheap, low budget, half assed CGI that looks like it belongs in the early 2000’s, and somebody just vomit all over it just for the icing on the cake.

@@btaylerpackard2475 after seeing this review, im more willing to.believe the industrial sabotage. Sausage Larty came out later, and was WAY better on a technical.level, though infinitely worse on a trash level.

@Alina Del Rey However It's important to realize that While Shrek and most animated movies that came after it did have more jokes aimed directly at adults; there is effort put expressly into making sure kids don't get them. When Shrek sees Farquaad's palace and comments that he's "compensating for something" Kids will assume he's talking about how short he is; there's an alibi. Meanwhile in Foodfight the characters have actual sexual tension between them; even if kids don't get exactly what sex is they can still tell there's something weird going on based on how they're interacting, and that's really not acceptable for children's media.

Well, no, it was made 7 years later and then languished in post for ten years.

Jasper Janssen You remember 2002 when Ice Age 1 was released?

@@JasperJanssen Man, they really took those 10 years and used them well.

Jasper Janssen and they decided to show this movie to the world in the same year as Brave?

It's really easy to create bad CGI even today.

Oh no

💀

Who the hell are you talking about?

You're not referencing that one MLP jar right??

@@Necromancer0225 😏😏😏

Joshua and the Promise land may have had ugly characters and horrible animation, but at least it didn't make you feel like you were in purgatory

I think this may be the ugliest movie ever made.

@@Serithe lol if you think this is bad then search up "Joshua of the promiseland" Much worse.

My thoughts exactly!!!

You're just not smart enough to understand it

@@tomaszlosinski875 or maybe hes just smart enough to understand its shit.

Lmao 😂 😂

@@tomaszlosinski875 Excuse me but did you just try to defend this turd

Or have Mr. Clean be a serial blackmailer with the line "He can collect dirt on anyone" being the in-universe reasoning. Main character was a PI, so Clean could've been his go-to informant (for a price).

@@jsb6975.ah.crapbaskets But then the film would be good and we can't have that

Great idea though

Sounds cringey

Okay, this got a laugh out of me.

Best comment

Hahaha

You get the comment award for this movie. Here you go : 🏆🥇

Based on what you said, perhaps the best way to watch this movie is to bowl while you do it

OMG I"M DYING LMAOOOOOOO

And that's including getting 1995 Tom Hanks to voice Woody.

Dang

And that movie was a masterpiece!

Adjusting for inflation - the original Star Wars cost less to make! Let THAT sink in for a moment...

Kelcore Hi

Its the Truth. Its why the film got Shelved for 5 years.

Well Rose Tico is a thing so...

but even those are higher Quality productions

"Titan Maximum" (2009) was far superior. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/otR7nttp3NPDn58.html

At least 50% of the film could be stitched into Xavier: Renegade Angel with no changes and make MORE sense in that context.

@@juno1752 HAHAHA YEAH

Now that you mention it, Grum wouldn't be out-of-place here

omg!! :O

I suppose I might as well clarify. Cartoon is named "Kids against wizards" (2016), its making was sponsored by Russian orthodox church and Ministry of culture. It was shot based on a book by some con artist Nikos Zervas (he pretends to be a Greek, and his real name is unknown) and the book itself is about Spirited Russian Cadets who Fight International Cabal of Wizards led by Harry Potter himself, who generally spread Russia-phobia and indoctrinate Russian orphans to subdue Russian Spiritual Strength. Also, Evil Wizards are so Evil they teach kids how tear entrails out of small animals. With the help of Brave Russian Spetsnaz and Great Russian God Cadets and Orphans win, gunning down Evil with Russian Kalashnikovs. Film is somehow different though, but I can't say I'm masochistic enough to read and watch these things just to spot the differences. The film is 1,5 hour long, its animation is on par with airplane safety videos, it had been made for 5 years (2012-2016), and I have no idea how many moneys were stolen in the process. But you can watch it online for free, if you know Russian, that is. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/g5Z4eNp2zdbFioU.html Or might as well watch critique (of course in Russian too, no one in their right mind would translate this abomination of a cartoon): kzfaq.info/get/bejne/g86hlrGJutm9ZKM.html

@@jehovasabettor9080 boy you weren't kissing about the quality

@@jehovasabettor9080 Oy, I actually found an english subbed version: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/pdKFeqqZqqysk5c.html For whoever might want to get shitfaced drunk or smoke a few blunts and watch this abomination. I know I might end up doing that with some mates and some weed hah

Children vs. wizards! Bad comedian reviewed it and it was absolutely hilarious

💀

And he is not even the grossest one of the X guys

Stop using that old ass unfunny comment format with the whole "Blank: says this. Other blank: says something else". Try thinking for yourself and not being a tool. That shit was old 10 years ago and wasn't even clever when it started.

Archeologists and Detectives are two different things.

@@augustwest5356 you're really butthurt over a comment that has no bearing on you

I... you do realize dogs are stereotyped to like bones, right?

Apollo Dawnstar Cleary stolen from NC, but ok.

This was his first animated movie. He had no past experience with animation but was optimistic about this movie. I think it'd bomb either way because the animation looked cheap in 2002 but not as bad as what was to come

@@TobyNo1Awesomeness it should really be embarrassing this movie barely looks better than video games from the same time. Oof

I feel like he didn't seem to realize the difference between reality and Foodfight, which I assume is a level of Silent Hill

@@TobyNo1Awesomeness the fuck did you expect? It's the same director as Mortal Kombat and Mortal Kombat Annihilation. Sidenote; he's also executive producer on the 2021 MK movie for some reason.

That's why he made all that Shit up about the Drives being stolen.

I love dark kids movies but like this movie is just not good

@@jadenbryant9283 Same here.

One thing I've noticed is that there are a lot of "references" to the classic film Casablanca in Food Fight. (I've noticed this in retrospect after watching Casablanca). One example is the "sing-fight" between basically the nazis and the french, which was completely butchered in Food Fight. References to the lines, and the hardened person becoming a tough bar owner, a sly character who kinda works for both sides until they help the allies at the end. Quite honestly it's a lot more references to make it just a reference, but given the quality of them, it seems almost like terrible plagiarism.

@Seacatlol reminds me of the 3D nutcracker movie where the rats are Nazis burning toys in their “smoke factory”

@@jamesgreen1166 Nutcracker in 3D. There's a way to incorporate themes of Fascism into a kid's movie. Nutcracker did it very poorly.

Nicholas Spruitenburg mm mm mm regretting giving my dog those raisins all those times

No thats chokeleet

Jesus....

Grapes and raisins are poisonous to most species of cats as well. Sunshine's own product is toxic to her.

I never realised that. I'm pretty sure squirrels can't eat chocolate and the squirrel is a chocolate mascot, so that's also a bad message to kids.

@G.A.P. Music Your best excuse not to watch it is "it's fucking shit, and I'm not going to waste my time."

G.A.P. Music If you end up watching it, just be ready for the ending... I fell asleep about 3/4 of the way through and woke up at the end. I wasn’t ready

Maybe Seth Rogen stole a script of an upcoming South Park episode, got his buddies to have a bad movie night started with this film, Jonah Hill listening to the best hits of Meatloaf and Alan Mencken, Edward Norton brought bagels and juice, James Franco accidentally got everyone high from bath salts, and after waking up from a bad trip, everyone decided to make a movie about what they saw.

LodanSD but even sausage party albeit a mediocre movie is still a better movie then food fight

@@prettyraddad Holy shit the same thing happened to me.

Are we all _sure_ this wasn't an adult comedy cartoon movie?

right, there are soooooooo many casablanca references in this movie

@@ellagreene1742 Probably because the filmmakers don't know any other noir films, and this was meant to be a noir parody. The thing is, it's a bit difficult to parody something most of your target demographic doesn't even know what is being parodied

I recall when I was a young kid I did often get that those lines in movies were in reference to famous movies, even if I hadn't seen the movie or heard the line before. They always just fell utterly flat on me regardless.

It's called money laundering

Wasting edible resources: aka, a Foodfight.

@@Insulted25 worst way to do that

He kept demanding they do "multiple takes" and be "spontaneous". He genuinely didn't grasp the concept that animation doesn't happen in real time and that the digital characters can't improvise.

All he did was being creepy around Dan

It be fair, the movie was cobbled together from a half-finished product and thrown together as quickly as possible.

I do that for a bunch of movies. It really is mind-boggling how easily they blow millions.

And at some point they had to tell somebody "the movie's done".

I would guess that for legal reasons (like having spent the product placement money already) they were legally obliged to release it. Given that they made 70 grand, they probably did not make back the money even on those phone-quality voice reshoots etc, let alone manufacturing the 35mm prints if any. Wikipedia says this came out of someone buying the assets out of a bankruptcy of the production company. The other option is that there were contracts for the product placement that said it was payable upon release in theaters...

I make Gacha Life videos, and I have more creativity; FAR more creativity; than the dang writers. This is sad 😭😂

Ever seen trollland?

@@izscott264 Ever heard of Where The Dead Go To Die? I'm not sure if that even counts as a movie..

@@livirus3826 I don't think I want to know

@@izscott264 you don't. You would rather buy an average EA game, trust me

livirus I only like EA for their games, like The Sims and Plants vs Zombies, other than that, they’re pretty damn bad.

actually. I do know! the director lied to the news outlet to hide the fact that the animated cgi was scrapped for motion cap

Oh wow. At least I could take breaks when I was watching it. That sounds awful.

ARE YOU SERIOUS!? This ended up in a theater??? I'd be shocked if you didn't walk out... or run out screaming. One look at these visuals and I trust your PTSD is real.

I am SO SORRY. How the heck could this thing ever be in theaters?!!!?

They released this crap in cinemas?!?! WTF? I hope you got your money back. You should have been given compensation for wasting a couple hours of your life, lol.

And I thought my life was bad..

I didn’t know that was even possible.

Our ancestors fought dragons. We watch these.

@Diputs ruoy not with that attitude.

And dogs.

Wow, what the fuck, movie?

Keznen really? Thanks for the advice

@@mikek4610 No problem. :)

@@streeterville773 reminds me of the idea that cats love milk when it'll just make them shit all over your house. I understand something like the original Tom and Jerry shorts doing it because animal science barely existed back then but this continues to this day.

Just tell yourself it was ironic laughter. It won't stop the pain, but it helps with the coping.

I'm curious, which one?

Frankly my dear, I dont give a spam.

How could you

Monster!

This was made by the cast of Hellsing Ultimate: Abridged. That's my new headcannon as to how this was made.

What’s even more pathetic is that those are from WWI

Lol. Same

i thought they were mole rats

I think they are a teenage mutant Ninja turtles reference

Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.

To be fair, that was probably the idea, which means this movie actually did something right.

E Harland lloyd makes me uncomfortable in every way

He's that one teacher no one wants to have. The one that BARELY won a lawsuit in the 90's that everyone speculates about.

@@gorgeousgambler What're you talking about?

I've seen sfm animation that were way better than this movie and most of it was rule 34 once

the heavy is ded

Same tho

Even a 5 year old writing a story can make a better plot than this

Vanity project that might also be a scam...

@Alina Del Rey Okay, maybe I exaggerated just a little bit.

@Alina Del Rey Not the script. I'm guessing you mean the core plot, yes? The plot in itself is okayish. It definitely had some potential, seeing how Sausage Party made use of a similar premise. But the script is definitely bad. The dialogues, the storyboarding, everything is amateurish. And yes the animation is atrocious.

HOW? did you not hear how the og production time was about a decade and the cost of the film, original and the released version?

or huge anxiety

Are you sure? I thought the cross-promotion of those products was the whole point of the film.

Xryeau _ Close but not quite. Originally, Food Fight had a completely different story all together. Many of the companies’ icons were important characters to the plot, but this all changed when the espionage occurred. Prior to that, the companies had fully agreed to have their icons appear in the movie and to promote the movie by making special promotional versions of their products to promote it (think a box of Captain Crunch cereal with Dex Dogtective on it or maybe with a toy of him inside). After the espionage, many companies became scared and had their icons removed, prompting them to rewrite the script several times around having those icons and completely reanimate entire portions. You can see some of what the original movie would have been like in its first trailer that had a different story, plot, animation, and even character designs. All of the rewrites and reanimations puts a lot of the movie into perspective

Cynical Reviews You are correct, but follow the espionage, companies became scared and wanted out. However, by this time in production, the plot was dependent on a number of the icons as characters, so the crew had to rewrite and reanimate entire portions every time that one of the companies backed out. You can see some of what was before this all happened in one of its earlier trailers: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/bpelfMumndfWoqc.html

Wow, I forgot I even made this comment. I'm happy it (sorta) flourished. This is a bit of a testament to either how bad youtube is or how bad my memory can be.

@@aaronlandry3934 The Espionage is a bunch of absolute Bullshit. Kasanoff pulled it out of his Ass because those Grocery Brands Said NO to using the Likeness because they hated the Script.

Absolutely this film was an embezzling scam. You're telling me not a single artist saved any of their work anywhere else but this one harddrive? Total BS. I KNOW studio artists. They save MULTIPLE copies of EVERYTHING, simply because they know it's insane to think nothing can happen to one copy, especially when you're dealing with computer data.

Alondro77 especially the source files, which are tiny. It might be harder to have triple copies of the fully rendered scenes.

@@Alondro77 Correct. Kasanoff has them. He made up that "Drives were Stolen" Bullshit.

I just consider him the best character because Christopher Lloyd is the only voice that seems to be giving a genuine effort with his performance. That man has never half-assed a role, and I can respect that way more than the other cast members phoning it in like they're not getting paid.

@@DistractedGlobeGuy Christopher Lloyd: a good part in good movies. A great part in bad movies. He will be missed.

@@heathercalun4919 you motherfucker, you made me look it up. Don't fucking do that again.

Check out a channel called Saberspark he found way worsts movies that make the animation in the this move look decent

Which it kind of is when you consider that the entire movie is a bad Nazi allegory.

Oh it is, I read a comment explaining it is an anti-Semitic slur. Because this movie isn't offensive enough

@@icecold1805 this one : "The Nazis are murdering all the Ike’s” and then I read Ike’s is also an anti Semitic slur... I really think this is the absolute worst movie ever created"

@@reginaphalange9417 There it is. Lovely.

@@icecold18053 years late but the slur is k!ke not ike…. Still though

@@CynicalReviews Well, you gotta pay the bills somehow. ^^ ...that said, I definitely liked him better in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit".

Well, people need money to live..

@@redactedredacted1860 You could say that it's survival of tHE FITTEST, LEONAAAAAARRRRDD

Imagine if they'd focused on that and dropped the Nazi plot.

@prickly pear holy crap you’re right!

You forgot to switch accounts

Nah they would of made this shit look like the Nutshack if it was animated in 2D

Not if they kept the same script. Maybe it would be less of an eye sore but I'm pretty sure the exobytes flying out of Lady X's crotch was in the original, too...

Kasanoff is a Liar.

Lol no. The message is still "hey kids! Generic products are evil, toxic Nazis! Consoom brand name only!"

That is an insult to the gamecube. Even the N64 and ps1 had better looking cutscenes

This is at best PS2 shovel Ware tier, it legitimately makes mort the chicken look decent by comparison.

I don't recall the GameCube having games bad enough to start with Foodfight! as the intro cinematic. 😹

And the other 10 to pay for his coke.

Your right cause if you didn’t know he is winning

Crack.. lots of crack

Well, usually, craft services don't supply the drugs, but with Sheen in the picture, they not only had to do that, but buy more sturdy tables to hold all of it.

@@KaeYoss that and Charlie Sheen slamming his face into a line of cocaine usually breaks most tables

idk the 6th circle maybe

This is it. The end of all things. The lowest you can go.

It's shit, Jack Skelington.

Insanity Incarnate.

I can't answer your question, but I do approve of your name.