You ARE responsible for other people's emotions because other people LET YOU make them feel stuff because they are emotionally open, the only way to not be responsible for other people's emotions is to interact with emotionless beings ,which people are NOT. HOWEVER , you are not 100% responsible for other people's emotions , what they feel is your business but it is their business too and it is way more their business than yours although it also is yours. (Hey , these are an INTJ's words here , I do not have that much of an extroverted feeling but I know how the whole emotional responsibility works , and by definition emotions ARE dependent ON everything : on self and on others ).

I am not responsible for your emotions , stop depending on me is a NARCISSISTIC statement and it is not true. Next time someone makes you fully responsible for their emotions you can tell the you are partially responsible for their emotions but they have way more responsibility for their emotions. This statement is not narcissistic AND it is TRUE.

*There is/are ‘resistance(s)’ that always tries to STOP & if failed tries to CEASE the process in the middle.... The process to make people aware of something.... To tell them how silly their jobs were since Looong....!!! ESPECIALLY WHEN I PERSONALLY AM INVOLVED WITH THEM (like co - workers)....!!! Doesn't matter what, how & why they do..... I just cannot do that thing the same way.... It's just too NOT OK....!*

@@user-ey9fm5my3s I would have to disagree, from my understanding of this comment. No one is responsible for anyone's feelings other than their own. Which is not an excuse to be an arrogant prick and go around intentionally hurting people's feelings just because we think we are better, or smarter, or whatever. A person IS responsible for that because it is careless behavior towards others. A truly intelligent individual understands though, that even being on the receiving end of such behavior, as I have been many times, they are not CAUSING the hurt or anger in me. They are pouring salt in an open wound, because there is a past hurt that is still in the subconscious mind, and WILL over react to certain things. Look at the race wars going on. The whole BLM movement is people FORCING their feelings on others, and blaming them for how THEY are chosing to feel or react to what is happening. When in fact I have not heard one single person actually SAY black lives DON'T matter. But someone threw a perspective out there that for certain reasons and in different ways it IS being said, so now all black people should be hurt by something that has never even really "cut" them personally. It is utter foolishness. Because responsible adults understand... Yeah you can call me ugly or stupid because that is what YOU choose to believe about me WITHOUT knowing me personally. (Not you specifically, just an example here) But "I" don't have to let what you choose to believe about me or anything else hurt, direct, or drive my emotions. Which are what actually causes the physical reaction. Emotions and feelings are two separate things. Feelings are dictated directly by our thoughts and perceptions of things around us. Emotions CAN be, but do not HAVE to be dictated by feelings. When they are though, we tend to OVER react emotionally. For example... If I were black and someone called me the "N" word... I would be faced with two choices in that moment... To let the hurt from such a derogatory comment take over my emotions and beat the crap out of them. Or to acknowledge the hurt, forgive the hurt, move past the hurt, and leave that person who doesn't know me standing there with their own ignorant feelings in their hands. Because I know who I am as an individual. Which is the REAL key here. Understanding that even many we would assume could, would, or should "know" us, say and do things that do hurt us, and that alone MAKES it feel intentional. Because THEY should "know" better. But responsibility for how those things make ME personally feel, think, act, react, or respond is on ME... As an adult who has the ability to separate my feelings from my emotions through maturity that has come from life experience.

And this is actually where being an INFJ comes in handy. BECAUSE of our strong connection to our imagination we have the ability to disassociate ourselves from our own and others feelings much easier once we understand that we can and should if we ever want to get off the endless cycle of hurting, being hurt, and hurting others in return through overreacting emotionally.

Same

Most people don't get it anyway cause they are too busy thinking about themselves to care! Be a bright spot in your world anyway and leave them in the dust. ;o]

I feel the same

Same!!!

Same. I'm who I am inside my head.

YES

Its because its where we find the one thing we need the most- connection.

This is what I can think ...

Omg I found my tribe lol ;)

Have a good time, bein a monk lol No it makes sense to practise what ur bad at, so u get better at it, its the only way

👍

Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and just actively ignore this reality

​@@groundedlifestyle88don't blame u

It was so simple after all.

100%

This.

Unless it hits “the wall” and get to that ever elusive ‘eff that guy’ territory

actually!

Hell true and I hate that thing about me

Would you believe if I say I even empathize with Hitler after knowing about his childhood. I feel it's more of his parents fault to give him a very pathetic and traumatic childhood that made him what he is. And funfact I even empathize with myself for empathizing a man as cruel as him😂. Like just why my brain is a mess.

Oh my god i feel the sameeeee

That “place” is always within us; we maneuver through this physical world solely as means to better reach the eternal. But, no matter what, it is always here, where you are. Selah.

Thats my plan :)

Iv been in the Rocky Mountain National Forest for 3 years now. Off grid in an rv!

I did 9 seasons on fire towers. Wrote and read constantly. Discovered I'm a whisperer. Then I couldn't stand the politics - even in the middle of the forest it was impossible to obviate. I learned a lifetime's worth of lessons, so it was a fair trade. I moved on.

Tell me about it 😣 I worked out yesterday, huge epiphany, I self sabotage. *hangs head in shame*

So fcking true,

I’m not an INFJ myself, but I’ve lurked around /r/INTP a lot on Reddit and similar advice is often given for introverts on general. ENTPs use Ne first then Ti, while INTPs use Ti first then Ne, so usually ENTPs say the first thing in their head while talking, while with INTPs, you usually should just allow them to pause and to slowly think through their ideas. But the advice given to INTPs is just to not overthink it and say the first thing in your head. That, or at least the second or third thing. If they didn’t like it, you guys definitely have more Fe than INTPs to see the emotional feedback and adjust as much as you can. Though I admit INTPs do have an advantage of Ne of being able to think of something unique to say in the first place. The truth is as I’ve opened up over time is that I realized how much I took knowledge I grew up with for granted. So many miscommunications have developed because I didn’t realize people well. . . people didn’t even know this stuff. The thing is, people come from all kinds of backgrounds, and even if most people with the ones you often hang around know something, people beyond your comfort zone in a social circle often don’t know it. There will always be something someone knows that you don’t, and there will always be something you know that they don’t. I find watching Filipino TV shows where I am incredibly cliche and repetitive, but the tropes and stories are so new to people from other countries like Americans. Huh. If anything, I find volunteering has really helped develop my Ne and Fe over time. I don’t have to think of something specific to say because there’s already an assigned task for me to do, and people are inherently grateful for you being here to help due to the nature of the task. Rather than them often assuming you’re something else due to false first impressions. I find with lower Fe, I don’t notice body language as much and just focus on what someone is saying, so I don’t really notice all the false impressions other people seem to get about people. I judge people by what they say, not due to how confident, insecure, charismatic, serious, silly, loud, quiet, or however they say it, and this seems to strangely enough benefit me in types of volunteering where I have to talk to people. I guess that’s why people say INTPs tend to be incredibly easygoing and “no drama” if you ask me. ENTPs included. The lesson is to just get out there. Don’t immediately judge a person with Fe that their body language or tone immediately means they dislike you, hate you, or look down on you. Get to judge people somewhat more objectively, after all, this is why, no offense, INFJs seem to attract a lot of abusive people. Charm doesn’t mean they’re trustworthy, and being reserved doesn’t mean they’re arrogant or they hate you. Even if false first impressions are made, there’s still room to change. I suggest checking out howtosuceedsocially online, and other similar social skills websites, because trust me, it’ll help. Try exposure therapy for social anxiety, as well as CBT for social anxiety. Look it up. Start small. Think of a list of social things you can do. Don’t erase any. If you don’t want to do some, then you can choose to do so in the decision stage. Look up automatic writing so you don’t immediately delete any ideas you make, or creative techniques. Then organize them based on how scary it is to least scary. Start with the easiest, take breaks in between and continue from there. Personally I started opening up from speaking anonymously on forums before doing it in real life, but for some people, it’ll be the other way around. Online forums mean more people are watching after all. It’s personal to you. See you. Take what advice works for you and what doesn’t. Take care.

When I was younger I used to think like you. I felt inferior in many, not to say most situations. BUT when I finally started to share my observations and analyses of them, I very often found that few people could grasp what I was talking about. I havent given up still after 60 years. I know people consider me a goof but I cannot let that stop me. This talent/gift/curse is to powerful to goto waste. I think you should give it a try and IF some people already have thought the same as you..you can discuss it together and develope it from there. All ideas dont have to be unique Good luck

I feel you bro. I don't discuss my problems because i know that there's someone who's suffering from a problem worse than mine.

Are you sure you are an infj? Every persona have their circumstances to not want to talk at any time

@@ry.0 every test said I was an infj , but even man made tests can be wrong. I'm open to the possibility of being a hybrid.

I am very new to learning about all this, but have been classified as an INFJ-T and your comment completely resonated with me. Just adding to the conversation.

Your comment is another reason why some INFJs and INTJs can have really great interactions.

This is so true. I have a hard time truly connecting with ppl bc all they want to discuss is a tv show or sports or makeup. Philosophical concepts have never even occurred to them

It's okay:)

I hope you're doing well, my guy :) life gets tough, especially when you're compassionate, but you can always keep going. Stay strong

Beautiful to know we're not alone❤

You doing great man, better days coming

You’ve been through a lot of trauma and it’s hard because you care so much. First, let me thank you for your service and for the compassion you have for others who are in desperate need of rescue. I’m sending you a hug. Take care.

Ps. this actually was super helpful. thanks i'm (literally) cured after watching FJ's video, examining myself, and changing accordingly.

Same .. it's like are you watching me FJ? Where's your camera?

🤣

It hurts I know lol

Noice

Hahaha! Gentle roasting from someone who understands lol

@@Lolo-vd8ns do it to myself all the time...this guy is much more gentle I like him👍🧁🌺🐛

he’s a gem

Truth

Fucking RIGHT???

Wow. 84. Please give me your most important wisdom(s) you've learnt!

❤❤❤

@@dark_energy68 Learn proper grammar would be my advice. : )

​@@Ofthegirl09 All your problems will be desapear....😂😂😂😂, Nice advice!!❤❤

yeah I agree. When you read people easily, you see their flaws so clearly and you will not risk being a victim of those flaws because you chose to open up. Also, opening up allows you to be somewhat vulnerable, as you don’t want people to read you so easily like you read them because it just makes you uncomfortable.

@@natashakozlowski8062 on point

I have to agree to this, often I find that I just can't seem to get over disappointments, and eventually I just try avoid what will disappoint me

Agreed

There's also a more practical reason, INFJs tend to future project whole relationships before they even begin. Mostly, when it looks like a future drama, mess or waste of time then it's cut before it has a chance to start.

literally!!!!!! omg

bb hdd same

Omg so INFJ to said 😂

LMFAO LITERALLY

Same

Wish someone had told me this when I was 19 years old 😪 😔.

@@Rishonable Same. I lived in hell for most of my life, till I started healing.

@Black Coffee - I love that. Some Doctor needs to write a book about it, I'd be the first to buy it, and recommend it to ALL the young people to read before they waste their life away like I did.

Grew up with 2 narcissistic parents and not feeling responsible for others circumstances and feelings is SO DIFFICULT.

it's only in the last 10 years or so that I've realized that my father is a complete narcissist. I formed friendships over and over again with narcissists probably because it was 'normal' to me. And of course, I ended up being taken advantage of and ended up with low self esteem. Now, I know to avoid these people and my life is much much better!

Do you also relate to videos made by Mom on the Spectrum?

Beautiful comment Cindy thankyou :) I can't imagine finding out at 66, hopefully you feel less guilty and or weird. You seem such a cool person.

This was so therapeutic I wish you happy life

Sorry to hear that Cindy. Smth similar happened to me. I did not marry someone I really liked, but he didn't treat me right because he didn't understand my INFJ personality. He never married anyone though many years have passed after we met. Few years later he died of his illness, he had epilepsy.

Omg yes this is true and they use us.

@@ozgurdeniz_657 They use everyone, they just enjoy using us more than the average.

Actually i felt that he was narcicist but i feel like i should help him

@@ozgurdeniz_657 Then don't complain in 6 months after he drains the life from you and leaves you for dead. They do not call them energetic vampires for nothing. Enjoy learning the hard way.

@@ozgurdeniz_657 BTW if you feel he is...then he is...that first instinct that gut feeling is ALWAYS right.

Naixzy oF :( I’m sorry. I feel you man. The addiction isn’t even what we TRULY want or like but we’ve realized we are more tolerant to the bullshit people throw at us and then somehow people see us as “ normal” when we’re medicated. Crazy shit. I know when I’m “ sober” for a long enough time for my chemistry to rebalance and everything and people think I’m high, crazy, mean, bitchy and all kind of shit. What we need is some people in our lives that are willing to understand and help us grow spiritually without making us feel like the weakest and worse person in the world. I always USE to be strong as shit mentally. I had drive and I was still kind, to kind but I kept myself distracted by ALWAYS being gone doing things, whatever I could find to do., and then somewhere along the way I got trapped where I can’t do anything but face my shit and everyone’s shit. Now I’m on the verge of giving up, which isn’t me, I never gave up., why now? I know I won’t give up though, so you don’t give up, k!!? Maybe we can buy a island lol full of our EFFED up types. It’s possible :) I won’t be walking naked with a smile though. No true hippie shit going on in this island. 🤓😆❤️❤️❤️

Its sucks

Or in a narcissistic relationship 🤔

I'm right here.. i dont have to imagine

Overcame that.You can too.💗

This is so accurate

i m in the same boat with my music videos....stupid perfectionism

@@laurentverpeaux2281 you CAN get beyond it. Hang in there and don't quit.

Spot on

yesss so true

Yeah I was trapped in a guilt for 15 y, coz I decided to marry someone my family cpuld not accept/tolerate. We have been happily married for 12 years and only recently I started realising how much it hurt me,could not live my life as I felt all the time I was a disappointment for my parents. The situation did not change, but after realising it'/ not my fault and I do not have to tolerate it, I wish I had understood it earlier,I am sad that for so many years I tried to make up my parents for my choices..

Me too. I feel like my childhood and teenage years were hell. My dad is a narzisst and my mom is a ESFJ who tries to please others all the time but cant let go of him, bcs he is so toxic and makes everyone believe they are mad, at fault, etc. I went to therapy for a year. I just stopped going there and it really really helped alot. I hope to move out in a year. I hope everyone who gets taken advantage of realizes what is happening and get out of it.

Sometimes I think I want to dissapeare so I don't hurt others.

I feel bad for my sister (INFJ) after looking into typology because it makes sense now why she's always miserable around people (why she's started self-isolating at adulthood) and, in particular, has the most problems dealing with our family (INTP so/sp 6w5/683 me, ISTP sp/so 9w1/963 dad, and ESTJ sp/so 8w7/386 mother, respectively) than the rest of us do with each other combined. Her childhood was smooth compared to mine (NP children with SJ parents are a particularly nightmarish combination) since she was nicer and fit in socially, but her teenage and college years were extremely horrible and filled with constant drama and gaslighting, especially with our mother (the very reason why she up and moved on a whim, with no job or money saved up at the time; she just couldn't take it). Even though our dad is generally easier to talk to, he has a very low tolerance for emotional things so brushes off my sister's feelings as "nonsense," while he's also our mother's enabler because he thinks divorce is "evil" so ignores problems and throws all others under the us for "peace at any price" (worse still, enneagram 9's tend to merge with those closest to them, so when our mother's in her "moods," he becomes every bit as intolerable as her as her enabler). It's horrible enough to deal with even with very low emotional needs myself, I can't imagine how much worse it's always been for my sister, who really needs to work on her own life but still feels like it's all her responsibility to "save" our dysfunctional family, even when we call her out on this thinking.

​@@phatcat3705as a 15 yo INFJ, I feel like your sister and parents problem is exactly the same as me. My father is really toxic and make me feel guilty for everything I'm doing "wrong" and my mother is unfortunately becoming like him over the years but she is still a good person. The best way to help your sister is to talk about it because INFJ unfortunately doesn't often receives mental help and compliments and, if you have enough courage, even talk to her about the MBTI which truly could make her feel a LOT better about herself (which happened to me).

Jojo Amber lol

It's cute! And true. ♡

@@TaunellE you're too sweet ❤️

Word

That was in the comment section where the dog got eaten by the alligator.

I'm INFJ , Female and I turn 19 next month. I feel for you and I love you❤

I am an INFJ, female and 19 years too. I feel you, I always felt like a old soul, I thought something was wrong with me. And now that I read you I feel i am not alone. And I am thankful with this guy for making me seen what I have to fix of myself

Yes! It is so difficult being an infj sometimes.

INFJ, female, 19 and old soul here as well. I've also felt like I don't belong and that there's something wrong with me for a quite long time (I hated being inside my head all time even though I am connected to the outer world, don't really know how to put this into words but yea), but learning about my personality type has helped me accept and love who I am and try to become a healthier me. yall amazing and I love you 🌈✨🌸🌿

@@Aya-cl3ux you don't even need to explain, I just know exactly what you mean ❤️ it's sooo hard being the way we are but at the same time we are bloody amazing and one of a kind. You just gotta find the people that love us for us and and keep them close

That fantasy world is the ideal and perfect version of what COULD be.

We can bring things to fruition a little at a time. Breaking down our goals in writing...talking is good but we have to be comfortable with both

I have pretended to be someone / something else all my life. My fantasy world is much more peaceful. I can breathe ! In my space

I like being on my fantasy world but, I automatically feels sad when I realized that, my fantasy world would never come into reality. It always hurts me so bad when I came into my conscious self after I imagined things that is imposible to happen in this real world

Word

Jessica Azcue omg i can relate so much...

I constantly scrutinize my comments. I'll write a 6 paragraph response, go back and pick it down to nothing, out of fear of sharing to much. I simultaneously feel relief from writing it all out of my head,and frustration from the compulsory need to self censorship. I never want to upset anyone else. I've been in an unhealthy place for too long.

@@schrodingerscat1763 word!

Or type words correctly.. or type in a way that we're 100% sure it's understandable... so we always end up typing the correct exact spelling.. 😂😂

Omg I have a list in my phone notes of words I mispronounce😅

Chrisistillloveyou

Chrisishouldhavemarriedyouistillrememberriverlanedriveininmychevyvannotalkingworked

Agreed

Same here...being adopted was always my 'excuse'.

Yep, same problem here. Even when i was 46, had another job to do (like making money to pay my rent). I had to help my family, or else i was a selfish bitch, who did not care about her family. Decided: to go no contact. I rather be a "selfish bitch" then a wreck of a human giving more energy to people who don't really love or respect. me.

Omg meeee

Got any luck?

😅😅😅

That is sooo truee!!!

Same 😀💀💅

Primitive sensing is the second point. I missed out that while noting it down too 😂

@@andreealamzhanjia7814 Amazing! Thanks, girl !

Thanks

@@razondattebayo You're welcome! :)

Andreea Lam Zhan Jia Embodying humanities problems

Same 💗

Yes

sadly so true

yes

However we are all thinking that. 🤭

Lol

OMG TELL ME ABOUT IT 😭

WAIT I THOUGHT I HAD SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME MENTALLY, IS IPTHIS JUST BECAUSE IM INFJ!? I'm so glad I found this comment

Description of my life. :x

Bingo. Me too.

I also do this often. I do it especially after a conversation didn't go very well with someone, i rehearse for similar conversations or plan for how my next conversation with them should go. For me, I end up pairing that perfectionist behavior with the keeping people at arms length and don't talk as much as I would like. I wish I could just give my self a chill pill and say relax its just talking its not a that big of a deal.

Same, I wouldn't even want to know how many hours of meaningless conversations I've had with my ex girlfriend in the past six weeks (all in my head of course)

Always

I do have the same experience. But most of the time it is about perfecting an old conversation. I do a lot of walking to and fro along with it. Can anyone relate?

@@suryaraj242 yes I do exactly that. The walking drives my mother crazy... but I can't help it, that's what happens when I'm immersed in my thoughts. I also find myself walking faster and faster the more invested I am in whatever I'm thinking of. When I feel very stupid about something I said or didn't say in a past conversation I'll sometimes find myself racing around the lounge table like some child who's had too much energy drinks😂

I do the same thing! Identity crisis everyday 🥲

Me too. I keep making a breakthrough and then I go a step back. Can't win, then I do, then I don't. Then I do again. What a roller-coaster of a journey. Been healing for 5.5 years, such a traumatic experience. Wishing us all the best of luck. And lots of hard work. :)

Wow, love this!!

thats exactly the problem, Although I do feel that way sometimes.

That's fun, because most of the time it seems to me that I see the WHOLE world as it is, that I perfectly know it and that I know where we're going. And other times I feel like I'm spending my whole time in my mind and not truly observing the world... It confuses me, and so I'm actually trying to observe it and finally going back to my mind... that's exhausting, really xD Am I the only one like that ? -_-'

yea so make a better world

@@josephputra2987 Yes, "be the change you want to see in the world."

U r an unhealthy Just like me -INFJ But even though I feel self-aware I don't want to get in reality, it's so dark

You know we're all paradoxical..

I completely agree. Thank you FJ!

Well said.. dang

It definitely helped me be more receptive.

Excellent observation, you saved me a long trip of reflection. :)

THIS 👏👏👏👏 THIS

What if the flaw cannot be changed? Would you still resist recognizing yourself?

​@@PhStateOfMind with me having a flaw that i can't change myself. i would say yes I do have a hard time recognizing that

Shyguy5104 so what do you do? Go on w/ your life not accepting it? Or are you gonna take the pill that is hard to swallow and see changes?

@@PhStateOfMind Yes. Accept that "perfect" is not a valid construct. Instead, direct your attention to the present status. Accept situations as they are, what is currently in place. Just because you CAN improve something, doesn't mean that you MUST. Choose carefully where you invest your energy. You will improve and find success in whatever you choose. You are fortunate to have this ability, so don't waste it.

I sensed that too❤

It is just the phase, it will settle down in some time.

My bf does the same but in sort of way he sacrifice himself just when there's a good reason to do it. But idk why he always says that he won't sacrifice himself anymore

That's nice... Instead... I have come to accept that my life exists to sacrifice for others... Oh well, what's worse than dying?

Woah 😦

It's so hard to set boundaries when you are used to sacrificing everything for others. 🥵

Same

It’s crippling sometimes

Let other people be angry or sad? Whaaaaaaa? I can just let them be there and dont try to fix it? I suppose when i think about it my desire to fix is somwhow selfish because i dont want to feel their bad emotions. Sometimes if you cant help yourself just walk away.

Just now at 42 years old I am finally finding how bad this is and how it has made me an enabler to others and I didn't even realize it. I'm finally creating boundaries with my close family and friends to stop the enabling behavior. It is very difficult as I can still feel their emotions and it's hard to say no sometimes when you are feeling someone elses pain/anxiety/anger etc. in your own heart. But I am learning!

15:15 motivational

I second that!!!!

Same here.

Bruhh saaame, I enlarge every small thing and overthink everything!

Same:(

Can relate sis. Life cant be more fun as infj and having anxiety 😊😊

Underrated comment

LOL 😁 😁... yeah 💯🤷

Right? Was totally aware. :P

nalvar82 good stuff!

Hell yes. Other people's feelings are not our responsibility.

Too good👍🏻

;-; i dont agree with that, but okay. maybe im just to youngh XD

"don't mistake my kindness for weakness" A LITTLE LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK

...and then the helicopter interrupted it all. Lol😂

​@@shannonlogue5585 You don't know it but FJ just added that as a sound effect so his viewers can appreciate the sounds of a green wood all the more. It was all a long con

Green screen and sound effects maybe

And a fan to gently blow his hair around?? 🤣 Now that would be funny!!

Wait wutt lol

Same👌🏻 us 1% gotta stick together😭 Ive only known one other INFJ in my life and she was the professor that had me take the test and helped me so much

dude, my mind got obliterated when I heard that sentence. Most intense relatability. I’m simultaneously taking it seriously and chaotically & deprecatingly laughing to myself in realisation.

@@leaffairy4283 Same! Absolutely the same lol

Jane Doe what do you listen to?

Thank you for sharing. Misery loves company. I'm 48 years old and just now getting the big reveal about all of this. It's shocking to watch these videos and read these comments and see myself reflected so thoroughly in it. Surreal even. It's been tough to even try and get a handle on it all. What you said about not sharing your dreams with other people because they can't, don't or won't care for whatever reason. That in particular really resonated with me. I've been told to shut up about my fantasies my entire life. People don't want to hear it. So I gave up trying long ago. My question for you is, how do I bridge that gap? How do I use this wonderful gift? Being perpetually lost in thought doesn't feel useful to me at all.

I daydream all the time. When I eat, watch TV, listen to music. All the time

There is actually a psychiatric condition on addiction to daydreaming. Do any of you think you have it? I’m worried. (www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/maladaptive-daydreaming)

@@ravenn2631 You need to remove the bracket at the end of the link, otherwise it doesn't work. Except of that, thanks for sharing! I guess I really should keep an eye on my thoughts...

Wiktor please start commenting promise me

I get what you mean about "perform". I've been calling it "trying". I don't want to go to social settings with people I'm cool with because I don't feel like "trying" somwtimes and the I get sad that those friends aren't close to me. But it was me who wasn't making the effort!

Saaaammmme

WORD!!

Wiktor Okay legit though with the whole “performing” thing. I do it without realizing. I literally went to a therapist or two who told me they cant read me. I “perform” without even wanting to or trying

Ohhh how I feel this!

And there are billions of people ready to take advantage of it.

@@EminoMeneko yes...

Same here 😂

same but identifying solutions and giving advice comes so easily i almost cant help myself when they do rant to me, and i end up encouraging/reinforcing it

omg yeah that’s what sucks about having high Fe is i literally take on everyone’s energy around me and when i’m stuck with negative people it’s overwhelming :/

In my experience, they always expect me to be the bigger person, they always expect that Ill understand that I will be the one to compromise first and its draining for me like he said. When Im the kid, a developing human being basically being treated as a therapist in a young age (like what my mom did to me, always telling me things I shouldn't know) and my reflection to that led me into voicing out my opinions, not agreeing to everything, call out people on their bs, to prevent their need of emotional support from me and in my experience it helped, it was very hard voicing your opinion when this personality gives you the power to understand other peoples emotion on a deeper level while being responsible for what they feel. To be mature in this part of our personality we have to adhere what Frank said "we should care about our feelings first"

I relate. Hardest thing is I have answers, just not the ones they want. When I do eventually give it to them shit goes South pretty quick. I've learned to set boundaries but no-one likes that either, so I remove myself entirely and the world comes crashing down. Lose/lose situations.

I was like the only good kid in a family of 7 and my parents would constantly complain about "how bad their children are". Using those exact words. Ignoring the fact that I was their child too.

Gabi Ley thank you. You are a blessing ❤️

Thank you!

Thank you

Thanks a lot 💗

Thank you.

Thank you. Are you also INFJ?

I've become all of these over time. I've been going through depression and anxiety from a young age though, discovered I was an INFJ recently which helped put alot of pieces together.

@@Dev.85 Me too :( . Diagnosed depression and anxiety 3 month ago, since I am lonely, after a breakup on Dec 2020 (9 years relationship). Be lonely is the worst thing that happen to me, and in same time the best thing. I know I am INFJ only since March. Thanks to KZfaq who suggested me video of Frank James. After 32 years, I finally know and understand myself. A lot of things that happened in my life are clearer now (Thanks Frank Frank and your great work) Happy to finally know all of this now, but In same time sad, it hurt. Cause no one of the person I know, know MBTI, cognitives functions, and personality. Seems the psychologist/therapist didn't know it neither. Only me can help myself, and it's difficult. Yes, seems I was/am an unhealthy INFJ. Maybe I need to meet other INFJ, who can really understand me and help. I have the impression in France, no many people know about MBTI and functions.

Perfect!

@@Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes am INFJT🤙

It is easy to say that, but it is harder to change.

try to re-program yourself see how that works out. stop being a bitch, we do try to change but like I said it is like re-programming yourself and it's not like people make it easy to trust them. try to understand what your comment would do to others who are struggling so much to change. I have lost so many friends because of it, people I love till today because I couldn't trust them. we fucking try, if I had known I was an INFJ earlier maybe I would have understood why I did what I did and didn't do and started the change early.

sorry about what I said. I think it was very rude of me but I just know how hard making the change is and even after that we still retreat back to how we were when people start being untrustworthy and then we have to start the process all over again. If it was as easy as flicking a switch, do you honestly think we would choose to lose people we have known and cared about. Right now I don't even trust my family and don't know how to click the restart button so I just need you to understand just how hard it is.

I wish people could understand why exactly are INFJs drawn to personality types than anyone else. I could go on about learning about myself forever. I dont think you understand what its like to self-loathe the way you are sometimes only to find out later that 'its not just me. Its okay.' Its a big release for me. Im not excusing my mistakes from my personality but I'm giving myself chances to change everyday telling to myself 'Cmon you are only this way because of how your mind is wired. You can do better cmon'. It keeps me from hating myself for the way i am cuz lets be honest 'deep people' are exhausting for this world. Its all us deep people can do. Just 'accept' ourselves.. even when society doesnt. So when a personality type breaks down things and makes it easy to understand why and who i am.. I will whether others like it or not.. blame my type and move on. Im not gonna waste time dwelling on my mistakes but would be cautious of it next time when such triggering situations arise. Im sorry but its my way to 'live in the present'.

Learn how to Get Err Done! with special guest " Larry the Cable Guy " ESTJ lol

LMAO happened to me too several times throughout the video!!😂

I'm caught red handed! Still 😃😃😃😃.

Me too! How do they say we're good listeners?? I constantly lose focus and retract into my brain

Same, I’ve had to back this up several times,

Wow I did the same thing lots of times I watched the video 4times to actually get everything... I guess he also goes into virtual reality when making his videos 😂😂😂

Why do you push people away though?

@@nadinegomez8858 i think thats has what i been question into myself like all the time. but then it come with so many excuses like other people would perfer to say.. in other word, maybe we just dont know how to go easy with our ownself/thought/feeling about social relationship

@craig mayhan I think is good you found some answers in the videos, keep trying to find the best balance.

I know exactly how this feels. It so hard just being me most days.

I avoided Therapists my whole life, I finally went when suicidal urges kicked back in. I had a lifetime worth of stuff built up, I just started talking. It went from beginning, end to middle sometimes but it felt good. I think that's all that matters, just getting your foot in the door and taking the first step.

Same🤣

Same 😂

Can I be a healthy INFJ? Who decides?

Lol, that's exactly why we need to know!

Same

I thought I was the only one 😫

Ya know how he mentioned a "Lord of the Rings" type theme? That's how nerdy I am. I seriously thought "Fawning" meant Fawning.. getting it on with a "magical water type" Fawn.

@@TaunellE INFJs are pretty magical 💜 (INTJ)

😊 So are INTJs! 💜 🦋

Perhaps that's why I was named Stacy-Fawn...and an infj. damn!

Wow, I feel like my whole life has been nothing but me fawning. Just this last year and I able to start to take control of my life, needs and wants. Let me say tht self annihilate is definitely the appropriate word for that description. Because that's what I feel like I was on the brink of doing

I picture the ideal life where I can be on my own without adjusting myself to make the emotions of my family better. Then I realised I am a mess on my own after years of disregarding my own emotions, I convinced myself that's why I had to be with my family, continue making myself the 'happy' one so my family will be too. Well... I guess that's my fate. I will never be free. Sorry... Wishing all the best to you!

@@yuciehayashi266 I'm doing better this year than last year. I have this theory that the amount of time it took to learn a habit is around the amount of time needed to fully unlearn it. One of the most important decisions I made during this process is allowing myself to be a mess. Acknowledging some months, weeks, days, hours etc are worse than others. Some are better too. Being happy is a bit overrated. Being honest and kind to myself is far more valuable. And there is nothing wrong with being sad as long as you are honest about it and comfort yourself.

@@CrystalWilliamsBrownArt I hope you're doing Okay, you're definetely on the right path, keep going 🙏🏾.

@@yanismartinel4043 Thank you. I'm doing well. I've been taking good care of myself and have recently started helping some of my family members start their own self-care journeys. I've come a long way and I'm proud of myself ^_^

How are you now? I love with a narcissist and I know living with an emotional abuser is the worst.