As a straight woman who's really enjoyed having sex with with my straight husband for over twenty years, my mind automatically goes to the wives of the married gay men. It would be very hard for me to be in a long term relationship with someone who doesn't adore me physically. Setting everything else aside, *I* would really struggle in a mixed orientation marriage where I was the one my spouse didn't long for (while I was still attracted to him). Sometimes it feels like straight women are sacrificed on the altar of getting gay men to heaven.

Watching Tember speak on the Jubilee episode was like watching an abused child defend the actions of their abuser. Everything he was saying sounded as if it was a narrative he had scripted in his mind so often to hide and suppress his true feelings. I honestly feel as though the more he hears himself say he is happy, his hopes are, it will make him feel better. It’s sad to watch a Stockholm syndrome victim, and not be able to convince them they are being abused.

In my singles ward I met a foreigner attending BYU, we dated and eventually got married. I realized later he was more interested in getting citizenship than marrying me, and also that his orientation was definitely not towards my gender. He's gay. I encouraged him to live to be happy, but he's still in the closet. We separated for a year and a half, and I pushed for divorce while he wanted to stay married (even though we were living separately and barely spoke to one another). I realize now I was being used to prop up his image, I was the beard as they say. My experience was that it was an extremely lonely marriage, where I felt unattractive and unlovable. After divorce I dated a guy who was attracted to me and.. fireworks!! I felt alive. Forcing a marriage without mutual attraction is a very lonely, empty, rejection inducing, awful experience.. and we have kids who had no idea why things were so bad. Please don't marry someone you're not attracted to; it hurts more people than you know.

Tember: another victim of spiritual abuse. Along with his whole family. Bloody sad.

My heart breaks for Tember. Sidenote when seeing Aaron for the first time: MEOW! Said respectfully

It breaks my heart that so many leaders are ok with doing that this to the wives involved. I think it goes to show how the sexual life of women is totally erased by the mormon church. If you have to explain to straight men what a woman would lose by being married to a gay man then what is that straight man's wife's experience like? Having sexual needs in women completely erased from life while demanding they produce as many children as possible is depraved. Giving her none of the pleasure and all of the pain. So sick.

At 71, I have watched the increasing of the anti movement. Their desperation has created a horror story of using anything to allay their fear of lack of control. Well done, you two.

Thank you, Carah and Aaron!! As the exmo middle aged child of a father who spent most of his life in the closet, it just makes me physically ill when I hear the messages that TCCC perpetuates of "denying yourself" and that "truly happy" families are the ones that follow ONE path...just so, so much pain and harm. Love you, your content, and your guest room. 😂

what kills me is y'know... what kind of life is tember's wife living in this situation? or their children? the suffering in that household must be beyond belief.

Tember was my district leader on the mission. He was vey nice, but I could not be friends with him on fb because the cognitive dissonance was wild. I wish him well and hope he figures it out someday

I used to be in Tember's position. Well to some extent. I was born a member of the church. I thought I was a monster for having attractions to men. I tried to date women and find my "eternal companion". I was so exhausted from trying to get the two opposing forces to work in my head. Finally I left the church because I didn't feel supported at all. Even after leaving, my brain still feels so mixed up that I haven't been able to form a stable romantic relationship with anyone. Now the phrase "Same sex attraction" triggers those memories of being stuck between the church's teachings and my own feelings. I do hope Tember can find peace and happiness of some sort. I sure as gravity couldn't. Also I think I would trade some of my gayness for a particular person's hate to not be able to spread their hate for 20 years.

Touching moment when Aaron mentions how his life is richer having a diverse group of friends. I've had the same experience. I was raised in a super judgemental high control religion and I always felt so uncomfortable hearing the church members make racist or homophobic remarks. I still feel guilty for not speaking up 😢 I'm so thankful I was able to leave that environment!!

I love that Cordin's response to failing.miserably has been to victimize himself and highlight Tember. Great plan, bro😂😂

Carah, Aaron is a top-notch guy. You really won the lottery with him, as he did with you as well.

I am not LDS but so glad you guys are exposing WardRadio. They make me feel so mad!

If the church reverses their stance on LGBTQ & allows all blessings - how many closeted men will then be leaving their families?

What about Tember's poor wife

Please defend John, and please if Tember ever reads this…God never makes mistakes. You are exactly who you are supposed to be, you are meant to love who you love and never try to fit the mold of the mean boys. They don’t care about you.

You were right to give a trigger warning to anyone thinking about watching Ward Radio’s video. I made the mistake of watching the whole thing and being triggered and gaslit the entire episode. 😅

Same energy as if you are married to an abuser, your reward is greater to stay the course

Can you do more of this setup? I love the realness from you both and appreciate Aaron’s perspective and words 👍🏻

“Marriage exists to make you holy, not to make you happy.” Gay BYU associate professor Ty Mansfield, FAIR Conference, 2022

Well done Carah and Aaron. I watched the original video and it really disturbed me. People need to be who they are.

Group hug for all, 5 AM and I am catching this, I feel very protective of my gay friends also, good stuff from Carah and hubby tonight ♥️

Tember runs a support group for gay Mormons. Called Beacon for SSA Latter Day Saints. Just fun info people miss out on his background. It's like a "-lite" version of doing unlicensed conversion therapy to others. Listening now to the stream!

Just donated $20 to your nonprofit for the response videos. No one should be exposed to that crap and I absolutely support you for keeping our mental health in mind and your own.

Sending love from Australia where it’s already your birthday! You both have so much more integrity and respect than Cardon ever will.

Carah & Aaron, Thank You so much for doing this!!! As a never-mo, I can objectively see the power and capacity the LDS church has to do good & great things but yet they ALWAYS choose to hate instead! Hope you have a Happy Birthday, Carah!!!

Agree what you said about Carden and Tember... didn't see Ward Radio but saw part of Middle Ground. The archaic views were so hard to hear as a queer-vangelical 🎉 mostly out and finally feel like me. ❤🏳️‍🌈 It's the systems I still struggle with. ❤❤

Just started this video and thank you so much for protecting your viewers from hate speech.

I never thought of Mean Girls plastics as a mini-cult but it totally is!!

Cara and husband, thank you for being fabulous allies! And thank you to everyone in the comments, too.

Appreciate not wanting to be 'boxed in' or categorised... guessing you've had a lifetime of that already. ❤❤

This is so important to expose. As a gay exmo, the damage and harm that will come from Tember's rising stardom as the latest exgay Ty Mansfield/Josh Weed like hero for conservative mormon orthodoxy is serious. Thank you Carah and Aaron!

Support comment from a never religoius and very grateful for that queer woman.

You two are spot on in real time. That Jubilee ExMormon video sure has legs. Thanks for your reactions!

I always hear TBMs (I used to do it too) say "statistics show..." or "there have been studies that show..." without actually providing a source. It's not that they don't remember the source. Usually the source doesn't exist. They just heard someone else say that, and it gets passed along. If there was a way to track the comment it back to where it originated, it was probably made up, or misinterpreted. After all, 90% of all statistics are made up.

I had to go watch (thanks to this video Carah) the reaction video they published with Tember. It was an excellent microcosm of Ward Radio and this strain of Mormonism. I also think it, generally, highlights how flawed the epistemology at work in these guys really is and I cannot believe anyone can listen to them and take a word they say seriously. 1. ⁠They talk about a bunch of statistics that indicate the Tember, who is in a mixed-orientation marriage, is "in the majority." These statistics are never provided in any way that one can understand them. At one point, Brad asks "where are these statistics" and I kid you not the answer was "Deseret News." So, their takeaway is that John Dehlin's peer-reviewed research data is "flawed" (for reasons they don't really articulate that well) but the ones in Dez News and that come from working with Ty Mansfield are totally okay. These Ward Radio clowns need to just stop pretending like they care about truth--they're just looking for data that says what they want it to say. 2. ⁠Tember says multiple times that the ExMo side of the discussion wouldn't accept the reality of his experience. His life and choices are his life and choices and I saw nothing in the Jubilee video to indicate the ExMo side didn't accept that. But it is a little hard to believe Tember's actually happy in his marriage when his prime reason he's happy with his decisions has nothing to do with his partner. It's always about having accepted the Gospel and his relationship with Christ. The way he speaks about his spouse--listening to his own statements--is as a means to an end. I sincerely hope that's just poor phrasing or because he's focusing on the religious elements of the discussion. By the way, for someone who claims that "the other side" didn't show him any respect--he keeps calling Jillian "the short-haired lesbian." 3. ⁠Their discussion of the AI memes and art is patently ridiculous. They think that AI generates truth (and what do you know, it completely lines up with what they already believed, too!)? AI does what it's told to do--and it's very telling these guys don't understand that. They were also incredibly awful about other people's appearances during this entire portion--like this is what you think Jesus wants you to do? Disgusting behavior and I'm not even a Christian. 4. ⁠At one point, Cardon says that John Dehlin is like Donald Trump. Cardon can't even resist constantly talking over people on his own show and did the same thing on the Jubilee segment. Also, so far as I'm aware, John Dehlin has zero indictments while Cardon cannot say the same. 5. ⁠Also, this crew claims that the ExMo crowd wasn’t willing to listen and just wanted to make the Church look bad. But didn’t 2-3 of the ExMo crew, John Dehlin included, state that the Church had a net positive effect in their lives? It seems to me like this crew will hold their opinions, regardless of any evidence to the contrary, which again demonstrates their incredibly flawed epistemology.

❤Happy birthday from South Africa! 🇿🇦🇿🇦💜💝

Even in a Rose garden, you want to see diversity of the roses. The church needs to see the diversity of its members. Happy Birthday Carah!! 🍪🍨🍬🍭🎂🎈🍾🎉

thank you so much for your honesty, compassion and realness (is that even a word?). I watched the jubilee episode, but when I watched Mormon Stories' reaction to it and your reaction I literally had to skip over the parts where Cardon spoke. It was too much to handle. That's why I didn't watch the ward radio reaction, because I can only imagine how bad it must be, after his demeanor on jubilee, where he probably tried to contain himself better than on his own show. In the Mormon Stories' reaction John said he is thinking about flying out to L.A. and doing a show with Cardon. And it made me shutter. I love controversial discussions if they are between two decent people who just happen to have very different viewpoints. But I don't feel that Cardon is a decent person, I don't think he is able to have an openminded discussion and would happily throw John under the bus (who seems to be sooo smart but also to believe in the goodness and decency of all people, when in fact some people just aren't, unfortunately.) Anyway, I don't know if you talked to him about it, but it seems like a horrible idea. What makes me so angry about religious people talking about homose..uality (does youtube allow to write these words?), that it always, always seems to be about s..x. When in reality it is about love first and foremost, right? I was in 5th grade when I had my first little crush on a friend of mine and it stayed that way throughout middle school. He felt the same way. Nothing ever happened, not even hand holding or whatever. We just really really liked each other, spend a lot of time together and were sad when the other person wasn't in school, because school was just so boring when he wasn't there. Since then I had crushes on several people and obviously have fallen in love with some of them - all of them were male. It's nothing I ever ever chose. Right? It just happens. Somewhere in your teen years, sometimes even earlier, you have crushes and fall in love. When I see someone I'm attracted to I think: "oh, he's cute" or "oh, he's interesting". Not: "oh, I want to f...k him". But somehow in the discussions about homose..uality, love isn't mentioned. It's never about who they are falling in love with. It's always about who they want to sleep with. And while s..x is an important part in most relationsships, it also is just one part. So denying your se..uality is SOOOO much for than just not sleeping with the s..x you are attracted to. So sorry for rambling. This whole situation is just so sad

I didn't even want to watch the original video beyond the 10 seconds that I saw. I'd rather just watch you and admire Aaron's cute little socks. 😊

Happy birthday Carah!

“Deny the self” to me that means deny your ego. Or at least, be able to observe your ego from a higher perspective. Remove your attachment to ego. Realize that ego is tied strictly to environment and we are currently being raised in a BUNK ASS society. Step back, observe what has been conditioned, consider those teachings. Deny what has been taught because it comes with the price of our humanity.

Really appreciate you! Very nice to have your husband on as well. I am gay, and you're right, he's adorable. I love gay friendly straight guys. They are an inspiration.

Thank you Carah, and happy birthday!!

Watching Tember during the Middle Ground episode is like seeing cognitive dissonance live. He obviously tried to "pray the queer away" as hard as he can. His body language tells me that he is not confident.

Like to hear you- I’ve converted to …. No religion at age 13. Greatest spiritual experience and left the pain and shame behind. And yet I live a life of love and service.

Thank you. Watching from Alaska. I couldn't continue watching it either.

The camera set up here looks amazing!!!🎉

Carah fawning over how cute Aaron is and the poor guy can't get a word in edgewise 😂 W2G Aaron on being patient, model husband 👍

And how does anyone really know Tember is thriving?

Happy Birthday 🎂 Dear Carah!!!!

As a practicing Reformed Catholic I so enjoy your loving informative program Light the way with truth. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Happy Birthday Carah 🎉🎉 Keep up the heart centered truth telling. And cute honest Aaron ...you two are adorable ❤❤

I'm so sorry I missed this live. I love you Carah for your protective love of queer people. I feel your outrage towards the troglodyte crew as well

Happy birthday, Cara!

Great convo. Ty

Happy Birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉

Happy birthday Carah 😘 have a great day! Go girl !

I could not watch the debate to the end either. It was heartbreaking. The guy with cancer used his illness to compare orientation. Ridiculous! I had to quite, Timber's reality is not everyone experience. I'm dune. Thanks for talking about this. I'm so sorry for the exmo experience in this event.

that really was a jubilee of mind-numbing embarrassment. someone needs to lock the "bros" in a small room with recordings of themselves until they accept they are incapable of stringing sensible statements together.

Nicely done. I can feel the love...from you guys. Not some of those others.

Happy Birthday from Germany! 🙂

Happy Birthday 🎂! Amazing 👏

Thanks, both of you, for being allies! ❤

Jesus promised / threatened that only a few would be saved and most he would slaughter. To be fair, that is a seminal piece of Jesus' message, the Gospel. One must pick and choose the words and teachings of Jesus to create a loving, inclusive, and compassionate religion. I am all for cherry-picking scriptures or walking away from Christianity and religion. For myself, I am now far happier as an atheist than I ever was as a Christian. To each their own.

Nice seeing this raw, real, and authentic side of you😍

I like the idea of a ward radio response so that they don't get viewers from hate watchers.

Happy Birthday Cara!

Speaking of Gavin, Tig, and Bill Maher… I saw Tig on Office Hours yesterday and Tim Heidecker does the best parody of Club Random (Bill Maher) and JRE. If you’ve not seen them- highly recommend to counter the negative awfulness of Ward Radio listening. I’ll see if I can find them and link in a reply below if you’re interested (so you don’t have to go searching) but it’s just wild timing given that Tig was a guest on yesterday’s live show. And Gavin relates because he, or rather the proud boys, went after Vic Berger (one of the holy trinity at Office Hours) because I guess they didn’t like the videos he was doing showing how silly they were with the cereal naming initiations and all. That story is wild! They showed up to his house trying to intimidate him. It all happened years ago- 2018? Sometime around then but it was really wild to witness as it was happening. He also shared some texts he exchanged with Greg Gutfield about Steven Crowder that are highly entertaining. Also- Aaron identifying as a “Carahsexual” has to be one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard. I’d melt if my partner used my name in that way- so endearing!😊

Progressive Christian here. Love listening, keep on challenging, keep on advocating for love!

Btw I really like the set up. The back ground colors are very aesthetically pleasing.

Absolutely nothing good will come from Tember’s situation. Misery for everyone involved. It makes me so sad.

😂😂😂😂😂 Carah you r 2 funny. It's not lame and I ❤ your plants!!!!

Thank you Carah. Just stumbled on this.....

Happy birthday!! Mine is Feb 11 ❤🎉

Random... but super obsessed with your chair!!!

My birthday was yesterday! Happy birthday!

GR8 stuff as ALWAYS....

Now I just really want to see a collaboration with you and Mickey Atkins.

Happy birthday!!!!

Carah, bring the T!! 👏😄👏 Ballard, Ellis, and Reyes, oh my! 😜

It was a big yikes. These poor men just can't take the L. This desperate attempt to be right is beyond pathetic.

The algorithm already feeds me a bunch of shit. I'm glad you're here to act as a filter, Carah. Looking forward to your reaction videos.

Thanks for fighting for the underdog. Hope you get another nap today.

Aaron's idea of mental health equating to authenticity is spot on. I bet there's a bit more to it but that is without a doubt at the core of it all. Everything else seems to stem from that

Happy birthday!! Gorgeous couple.

@nuancehoe As an Ex-christian, I came to a realization (when your husband Aaron talked about Tember was in a box) that both Mormonism and Christianity's the same in that they both are Systems that are in a metal box.

Oh my god… I literally didn’t even make it through the intro after they talked about the “left” as unclean and not put together. Even the depiction of John Dehlin- is so grossly done.

Thanks for sharing

Thanks for the warning!

of course your Aquarius ♒️🩷💜 happy birthday 🎁 also your hubby is a babe! you are a hero 💯 have the best year

I felt that Tember was the REAL mormon on that panel. And he HAS to cling to the idea that there are absolutes because otherwise he has gone against who he really is FOR NOTHING. Sunk cost. Kwaku represents a Mormonism that simply doesn't exist.

This video made me cry. Not because of the content per se, but seeing the way that both of you genuinely care for queer people made me emotional. The world feels like a scary place sometimes, especially when you’re queer, but seeing the passion you have as allies and the way that hate really affects you on a very deep level made me feel like maybe it was all ok. So thank you for caring.

Feel really sorry for these religious gay homophobic men.

I like Aaron. He is really thoughtful!!!

As a non religious person , I find it so fascinating that being in a lot of high demand religious is so similar to being in an abusive relationship. I was in an abusive relationship for many years and had to escape and completely rebuild my life and myself. Nothing should be that controlling and hateful. Surly at its core a religion or relationship should be built on love and not hate. Thank you for your videos.

I don't normally do this here, because I don't want to be annoying, but I feel the need to do it now. Quick reminder that you're all awesome, beautiful and valid, just the way you are ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Love you all ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

HI Aaron!