"Favored enemy: Old people"

"Let me see who is on duty right now..." Matt has a guard schedule for Greyskull Keep. God-tier DM.

Laura as a ranger: "I cast Cure Wounds!" Laura as a cleric: "What? You want me to heal you?!"

RIP to the guy who bought Orion a $400 cloak to wear in future episodes.

I cant believe they went from "SILAS!!!!!" and "YOUR SOUL IS FORFEIT!" To "Its Cow-mouflage." And "For once it's not weird. I shit on the floor."

The cat goes, "meow." The dog goes, "Bark." The cow goes, "Hello, my name is Tiberius Stormwind from Draconia."

"There are no males... in this pen... cause they're cows" I am *cackling* Matt has the patience of a saint

Today on critical role, Matt Mercer shows DMs everywhere how to guilt a party into not being murder hobos.

I just want to appreciate that one person in Twitch chat that said "The steaks are high tonight"

Liam wearing a "Bite me" shirt after Vax got bitten by a vampire. Subtle.

Laura "Can we all try to stealth in?" Sam "I'm a pterodactyl so..." If Talisin were here I'd expect him to say, "Well at least your P is silent"

"I've got an itch, and it can only be scratched by cow bell." "Your kid's weird." Dying.

I love how the solution to Taliesin not being able to make the game was pretty much "Percy has emotional issues and doesn't come out if his room." It makes sense given what Percy's going through right now, but still

Cow Grog: I'd like.. to GRAZE

I love how Liam can go from a very dramatic and serious acting, begging Uriel to trust them, to a very silly man asking casually for his snake belt.

When the close captioning person does ‘siggle’ instead of sigil… honestly, a true hero.

Matt set up the Briarwoods as more than evil enemies. He set them up as manipulative, emotionally abusive, corrupting, sociopathic, megalomaniacal tyrants... all through a throwaway NPC's anecdotal evidence. The man is truly gifted.

4:00 liam: "they hit their kickstarter goal about 3 days in". Critters "aww that's cute"

Ahh, back when Sam's mug was still a drinking vessel and not a bio-hazard.

"Boy, if Uriel could see us now" - Vax "We are cow-ncil ready" - Travis

Laura likes healing more as a ranger than she does when she's a cleric

Mercer copied Percy's speech pattern perfectly in the first tiny bit of this episode.

"Let me tell you the heroic tale of: Ox Machina..."

Matt: This is a conversetional skill challenge. Every success or fail influences how it will end... Sam: that's a 32 Matt, inside: why do I even bother?

Orion: "I try to speak." Matt: "Try to speak...?" Orion: "To the cow." Matt: "Okay, what do you say?" Orion: "Hello, I'm Tiberius Stormwind from Draconia."

I introduce you to... ox machina!

Tal: my character's family was killed by evil people. Matt: the DeRollo family was infiltrated, set up, and murdered by a pair of vampires, who installed their thugs to run the realm while they are excavating and doing 'something' under the castle. (With far more revealed later.) Liam (later): "You hand Matt a scrap of paper with a sentence. He takes it, wraps it in barbed wire, & smacks you across the face with it years later!" (and then there's Rumblecusp...)

"You also caught us on a day where we are trying to be nicer to people" Scanlan speaking everyone's mind here 😂

I love how Matt has made this story so that they do not progress with the story of the Briarwoods yet without Percy since that is really one of the biggest moments to happen to him and he wont miss any of it

Liam every time magic is mentioned in this episode: "I don't know anything about magic." Liam in Campaign 2: "Widowgast's All-Encompassing Arcane Expertise."

I'm kind of upset that Grog missed the golden chance to say "I would like to, GRAZE"

Taken from littlecajunlady's tumblr (aware this is a repost. I have a message at the bottom of this comment) 7:56 - End of credits, recap starts (added by me, MrsMster) 11:25 - Game starts 11:45 - Percy and Lillith are missing and Scanlan thinks they hooked up 14:25 - Vex goes to check on Lillith and finds her letter 16:20 - Grog and Scanlan go looking for Percy (played by Matt this episode) 17:50 - Scanlan asks Percy to make a ladder for the door 20:15 - Keyleth is worried about Percy and opposed to how they’ve all been acting lately 35:45 - Vax brings up the dead child to Keyleth 41:25 - They talk to Uriel 46:30 - They start defending themselves 54:20 - Scanlan inspires Keyleth, she clears Asum of spell 57:00 - Vox Machina revoked from council 59:50 - Scanlan “I look forward to the second parade you throw for us after our names are cleared” 1:04:45 - Allura asks Tibs if he killed that old woman (An old couple is waiting outside the keep and asks them to help find the thing killing everyone’s livestock) 1:24:35 - Scanlan “Remember when I told you not to let anyone linger outside the keep?” 1:29:00 - Break starts 1:45:05 - Break ends, Keyleth tries to talk to Percy 1:50:40 - Desmond starts giving info on the Briarwoods 2:02:10 - Desmond might be safer in the cell, (:45) They’re trying to be nicer 2:04:55 - Percy heard everything 2:09:10 - Scanlan asks Jarrett to look after Desmond 2:15:15 - Vax offers Tiberius a drink, drunk Tibs ensues 2:21:50 - Keyleth “I hate you so much Vax,” Vax - :( 2:27:30 - Trinket is sent to the cells, little Vex and Percy moment 2:34:00 - Scanlan asks for a cow bell, comes up with the cow plan 2:38:10 - Cow-moo-flage 2:39:40 - Alpha cow, Keyleth talks to the cows at 2:41:10 2:44:35 - Bird shows up, Vax cow stealth, Keyleth makes herself available 2:47:00 - Bird grabs Keyleth 2:54:28 - Scanlan dimension doors on bird’s back, 2:55:38 - inspires Keyleth ♪ 2:59:20 - Never worry about Scanlan, Keyleth polymorphs bird into a cow 3:02:35 - Sam’s nat 20 to turn into a pterodactyl 3:03:26 - Vax and Vex are still twins as cows, this is “udderly” ridiculous (They find the bird’s nest and the gnome druid taking care of it, Keyleth and Tiberius unsuccessfully negotiate with him for a while) 3:26:45 - Keyleth feeds the bird some berries and nearly loses her hand 3:38:10 - Scanlan finally gets the guy to agree to go to Vasselheim 3:47:20 - Game ends I'm aware this is a repost in this comment section, but this is *_mainly for me_* to be able to see whereabouts I'm at cause it's at the top for me, but if I can help others by reposting this then great!!! Edit: Added recap timestamp

Part 1: everyone hates us and thinks we're killers Part 2: EVERYBODY'S A COW NOW

"Oh look, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions"

So after 25 Episodes I decided to finally look up what "a Minxie" is. Stumbled upon many pictures of half-naked women and some tiny kittens before finding a fan article telling me that Minxie is the name of Keyleths wildshaped form, not the name of the actual animal. In case somebody else comes around wondering: it's a saber-toothed tiger

What's funny to me about them discussing "Maybe we shouldn't be brutally butchering the bad guys" is how a few in-wold weeks earlier, the group went out of their way to *not* just drop a random wyvern rider to her death and helped get her a job.

My favorite chat message has gotta be at 2:44:34: "STAY STRONG, MY COW BRETHREN! THE DARK TIMES ARE UPON US. SOON THE BIG WINGED BIRD THING WILL SWOOP DOWN FROM THE SKY AND TAKE US TO THE PROMISED LAND"

"Guys? Are we the bad guys?" Proceeds to realize they forgot the prisoner that they tortured and blew half the hand off of, go to find him in their personal dungeons hung from his arms in shackles. "Oh, we are those kinds of people"

I think travis's main contributions to the group are bringing so much more energy, and kicking down the door when the rest of the group think too long

Is nobody going to talk about how PERFECTLY Matt played Lilith with her accent and then Percy with the tone of voice and the pauses?

First half of the episode: Super dark and intense, Vox Machina learns that their actions have consequences Second half of the episode: Flying cow squadron illuminated by moonlight

"Any other announcements?" Travis: "I like cheese" The next day 50 crates of cheese were delivered to Critical Role, Probably.

I'm years behind, only starting at the swtich into 5e, but so far Sam is my favorite player because despite his character's comical nature, he is deliberate and committed to his actions. When he does something silly, it is funny but he is careful that it doesn't drastically effect the party. And when he takes charge of the situation, things get done quickly and efficiently. He rarely takes things personally, accepts the outcome as is, and adapts quickly to the scenarios.

"One may smile and smile and still be a villain." - Liam What an absolutely great line, and unscripted.

I love watching realistic consequences be brought for the team's actions from last episode. That is what makes Mercer a great DM.

The most patient DM ever.

It’d actually be pretty cool if Percy ended up making some kind of prosthetic half-hand for the young man he maimed.

Watching Matt have to carefully check everything Orion wants to do at the castle and when they return because he plays selfishly is both impressive to watch, but infuriating that it has to be done at all. The disbelief on everyone's face and Sam calling his list "The Adventure of Tiberius' Errands," was hilarious, though.

Grog: "I would like to graze!"

12 New NPCs 11 Prestidigitations 10 Flaming arrows 9 Lady favors 8 Minxie maulings 7 Sarenrae heals 6 Barrels blasting 5 Gilmore scenes 4 Beard check rolls dagger dagger dagger 2 Briarwoods And a Trinket oh so pretty

Orion is really playing his own game lol. Like, he's off to do his own errands while the rest of them focus on the main story. It's so clear how split the group is. I fucking love the cow bit though. That just made me laugh so hard, thinking of them all as cows with Grog just chewing on grass and Scanlan shitting on the ground (without judgment this time lmao).

Sam Riegel is a master of comic relief. Also, so glad Marisha/Keyleth brought up the whole murdering feeling, unconscious old ladies at the start, because I was feeling a bit iffy about that too.

Me: Why would Seeker Asuum want them kicked off the council if he isn't under the vampire's control? Me a little later: OH THAT IS BRILLIANT! When they are council members they represent the king and wouldn't be able to attack Lord and Lady Briarwood, but now that they ARE NOT AND THUS FREE AGENTS, VAMPIRE IS ON THE MENU!

"Your kids weird" at Scalan was hilarious. I laughed for a good 5 minutes.

Me watching the episode: "I'm so happy!" Me glancing at the chat: "I'm so sad"

Pov: You're a huge mama bird. To feed your young you've sought out a stable food source, a human village has a large supply of cows. They are easy to catch and not dangerous, or so you thought. One night you're going in for another steal. The cows have become accustomed to your hunting and hide under a feable wooden shelter. It can't stop you, but a cow out in the open would be a quicker snatch. The quicker you do this the less likely the humans can react. There is one cow particularly far from the rest of the herd. It's smaller than most of them but you decide you can live with the smaller meal tonight for the sake of the easy catch. You dive. The wind howls across your beak as you descend on the seemingly helpless creature with unimaginable speed. Everything goes as planned, you reach out with your talons, grab the quarry and immediately make for the mountains. But the second you grab the cow, something isn't right. The cow was small but it feels even smaller in your grasp. You don't have time to dwell on it though as you sense a reaction from the other cows. To your surprise, two arrows seem to shoot from a cow itself, piercing your feathers with a fiery arcane burn. As the burn subsides you sense something beneath you, a cow is there, somehow keeping pace with your flight speed. Before you can react a dagger appears, barely missing you. As you attempt to react yet another cow has somehow produced a warhammer and thrown it at you! It too misses but you're shaken. These were supposed to be helpless prey but it seems you have underestimated them. Why would such powerful creatures allow themselves to be penned up by humans? As you consider this and leave them behind one suddenly appears on your back. You have no idea how it possibly got there. It's extremely small for a cow but appears to be the most powerful of them all. You quicken your pace and manage to force the cow to hold on for life against the wind but can't quite shake it off. That's fine, maybe it will be desert. You underestimated these creatures but have evaded their surprise attack and left them behind. That's what you think until you glance behind and see the cows which attacked you taking to the sky in the moonlight. Panic strikes through you. They can fly too. You've made a grave mistake preying on these creatures and make for the mountains as quickly as possible. If you break line of sight you can lose them. As the mountains appear before you a strange sensation rocks through, the source seeming to be the cow in your grasp and you hear....singing?....coming from the cow on your back. Then suddenly you're not flying anymore. You barely become aware that you have no been turned into a cow, 500 feet in the air. These cows....they have no fear...they are willing to fall to their deaths to protect their brethren. You respect them for that, after all, family is why you attacked them in the first place. You can do nothing but moo and watch helplessly as the ground races towards you and you realize the other cows can fly as well. If you're a cow, why can't you fly? It doesn't matter, the ground meets you in a painful crash and a plume of dirt arises. You quickly realize you are not dead and your form as been returned to you. This...magic...confuses you. You've lost your meal and as you look up can see five cows flying towards you. You screech in frustration and take to the skies once again, wounded and hungry. They can't keep up with your flight speed and eventually you disappear. You're safe, off all their abilities there is no way the cows could possibly find you now. Tomorrow night you will seek out safer prey. Perhaps a dragon but never a cow again.

"Maybe his soul _is_ forfeit?" "To what?" "...Death?" Grog was one step away from being a philosopher and that step was asking: "And aren't we all?"

Everything was OK until it showed up. it was a big bird. I took my crossbow, I fired, and I missed. Then I fired again and I missed, then I missed again. Then I fired again and I missed. And then I fired, and then I missed. I missed both times. Then I fired again, and I missed. This went on for several hours.

Grog's "brown chicken brown cow" version of bowchickawowow at 1:03:50 was absolutely genius

Marisha's laughing facepalm when Scanlan says "We are friends if the elderly, obviously" was a joy to witness.

Keyleth: I hate you so much, Vax! Vex "oww" and look at Vax Vex: She said she hated you, how did that feel? Vax: Fine. That was fine. That was the heat of the moment. She was angry. We're a team. That's a man with a broken heart, ladies and gentleman

Rare is the man who can convince me to listen to him pretend to be a peasant boy accented wagon driver kid for 15 minutes straight. Guy can sure spin a tale out of his ass with the best of them

I love how the first half of this episode is perhaps the darkest so far and really explores the morality of the characters actions, and then the second half is this hilarious absurd cow adventure.

You can hear the disappointment in Mercers voice when he says, "make a persuasion roll" at 3:38:37. It's like, " you guys *really* didn't learn shit this episode, huh?"

A stone faced and visibly shaken farmer walks into a tavern and stammers, "I...I...I need a drink. I swear I just saw a herd of flying cows."The tavern keeper stops in mid pour as he eyes the farmer suspiciously and says, "Sorry friend, sounds like you've had too much already."A long-haired nobleman downs his ale and stands up to approach the bar. "Give him whatever he wants, on me. Your eyes did not deceive you. my friend, that was truly a herd of flying cows."The tavern keeper eyes the stranger questioningly and asks, "What's your name friend." At the same time the still shocked farmer quietly asks, "so you believe me?"The stranger looks at the tavern keeper and answers "The name is Matt Mercer," he turns to look at the farmer and gives a nod as he chuckles. "Believe you? Yes, yes, I witnessed it myself. Do I believe the hours I spent planning this expedition would result in flying cows? No, no...", Matt shakes his head and chuckles yet again as he turns to leave.Stopping at the door he starts to laugh even harder as he says, "It was cowmouflage."

'Here's the plan, we're all cows' I have no beef with this plan.

Travis says "we are cow-nsel worthy" at 2:40:25 and NO ONE NOTICES

Matt is not getting nearly enough credit for Desmond, that entire speech was incredible!

*YOUR SOUL IS NOW FORFIT!* ... Top 10 Anime finishers

Sam: "It's *Cowmouflage* ." Matt: *Look of utter disgust*

Man, I glanced at the chat around 3:34:40 and it was a huge mistake. Personally, I think Keyleth was 100% in the right. Sending the roc to harass an already victimized people is a terrible non-solution. But whether or not you agree, yelling at her to "shut the **** up* and asking "who let her talk" is just such a shitty, mean-spirited, and needlessly personal attack. I know this is old water under an ancient bridge, but damn...

Tiberius going on a rant about his personal quest when the group was trying to talk to him about the morality of their recent decisions was peak "main character syndrome" to be honest. Also love the Freudian slip of "That is the next step in our- in my* quest." Insufferable.

My favorite thing is how Matt just slips into random accents when he’s mumbling to himself

It is both hilarious, and cool story-wise that there are consequences for chainsawing sleeping old women

Thank you, subtitler, for showing me that whenever I hear Matt say "dirty-ass," he's actually saying "nerdy-ass."

Travis screaming "FOOD" and running off at the break killed me

Cow-Grog totally missed the opportunity to say, “I would like to graze.”

Scanlan: "It's cow-moflauge." Matts facial expression and a few moments later. "I'll have to give you experience for that." Haha. The power of the pun compels you, Matt Mercer.

Only in D&D you can go from fighting vampires to flying cows within 3 hours and still make sense

Reposting these timestamps for myself that I originally posted to tumblr years ago 11:25 - Game starts 11:45 - Percy and Lillith are missing and Scanlan thinks they hooked up 14:25 - Vex goes to check on Lillith and finds her letter 16:20 - Grog and Scanlan go looking for Percy (played by Matt this episode) 17:50 - Scanlan asks Percy to make a ladder for the door 20:15 - Keyleth is worried about Percy and opposed to how they’ve all been acting lately 35:45 - Vax brings up the dead child to Keyleth 41:25 - They talk to Uriel 46:30 - They start defending themselves 54:20 - Scanlan inspires Keyleth, she clears Asum of spell 57:00 - Vox Machina revoked from council 59:50 - Scanlan “I look forward to the second parade you throw for us after our names are cleared” 1:04:45 - Allura asks Tibs if he killed that old woman (An old couple is waiting outside the keep and asks them to help find the thing killing everyone’s livestock) 1:24:35 - Scanlan “Remember when I told you not to let anyone linger outside the keep?” 1:29:00 - Break starts 1:45:05 - Break ends, Keyleth tries to talk to Percy 1:50:40 - Desmond starts giving info on the Briarwoods 2:02:10 - Desmond might be safer in the cell, (:45) They’re trying to be nicer 2:04:55 - Percy heard everything 2:09:10 - Scanlan asks Jarrett to look after Desmond 2:15:15 - Vax offers Tiberius a drink, drunk Tibs ensues 2:21:50 - Keyleth “I hate you so much Vax,” Vax - :( 2:27:30 - Trinket is sent to the cells, little Vex and Percy moment 2:34:00 - Scanlan asks for a cow bell, comes up with the cow plan 2:38:10 - Cow-moo-flage 2:39:40 - Alpha cow, Keyleth talks to the cows at 2:41:10 2:44:35 - Bird shows up, Vax cow stealth, Keyleth makes herself available 2:47:00 - Bird grabs Keyleth 2:54:28 - Scanlan dimension doors on bird’s back, 2:55:38 - inspires Keyleth ♪ 2:59:20 - Never worry about Scanlan, Keyleth polymorphs bird into a cow 3:02:35 - Sam’s nat 20 to turn into a pterodactyl 3:03:26 - Vax and Vex are still twins as cows, this is “udderly” ridiculous (They find the bird’s nest and the gnome druid taking care of it, Keyleth and Tiberius unsuccessfully negotiate with him for a while) 3:26:45 - Keyleth feeds the bird some berries and nearly loses her hand 3:38:10 - Scanlan finally gets the guy to agree to go to Vasselheim 3:47:20 - Game ends

the world said "there is no cow level" and Matt Mercer said I AM THE ALPHA I AM THE OMEGA

In cow form, it's not a rage. It's a bad mooood.

While everyone is focused on the flying cows, might I draw your attention to the visual of a Cow'ildan clicking together its hooves and SPRINTING away at the speed of sound in chase of a giant bird that was hunting him. This image keeps me up at night crying with laughter

Props to Matt working around the fact that reading Vax's mind would clear everything up.

Rewatching and Matt's line to Tiberius re his errands "You got what you wanted, but you're out of the picture for a little bit" and damn if that's not fucking meta in the face of Orion leaving

I can just imagine cow Tiberius walking up to another cow and saying, "Hello, I am Tiberius Stormwind. I'm from Draconia."

In this episode of Critical Role, Vox Machina asks themselves: "Are we the baddies?"

As Laura tried to figure out where concentration was marked on a spell and Scanlan says “stick to the bows and arrows” I did realize that, sans Percy, all the people at one table are the magicians and all the ones at the other are the fighters.

The Briarwoods Arc is being animated. This means there is a non-zero chance of the squadron of flying cows being animated. I love Dungeons & Dragons.

Group loses their cleric. Mercer: Oooo let's throw some undead at them. Their party member that can make wing shots and to also drop actions is out of the picture. Mercer: let me throw a giant bird at them. Mercer has a sick sense of humour.

A lot of people are confusing Marisha's roleplaying of annoyance (because they just murdered a bunch of people, lost their council, and are suspected traitors) for her real reactions, and while i do believe she was fed up getting cut off by Orion's antics, i dont think it was the same annoyance she was acting out. Also the chat in this episode was horrendous, i wonder why they stopped deleting the comments?

1:14:12 Sam not realizing how prophetic he was being for Orion's infamous last episode

"Putting his wall against the back of the cell." -Matt Mercer, 2015

I wish they'd given more consideration to Keyleth's idea of permanently polymorphing the bird.... Not because it's a GOOD idea, but because it would be amazing if, like, a hundred episodes later, Matt said "Your arrow hits the deer and kills it. You're approaching it to drag it back to camp for dinner, when its form starts to dissolve into arcane smoke... Suddenly the clearing is filled with eleven tons of angry bird. Roll initiative."

i really want them to defeat the creature then go back to the cows and say "remember the name, Vox Machina. And remember that we got our equipment and GILMORE'S GLORIOUS GOODS!"

The most magical words your DM can say when you have a crazy idea is "I'll allow it!"

Heh, felt kind of bad hearing someone dropped $400 on that robe for Orion when knowing in retrospect he only has a few episodes left at this point.

Matt DMing his way into getting all the pieces in place while waiting for Percy to return is pretty amazing storytelling.

Dang. It sucks Taliesin got sick. This is definitely a conversation Percy needed to be there for.

7:56 - End of credits, recap starts (added by me, MrsMster) 11:25 - Game starts 11:45 - Percy and Lillith are missing and Scanlan thinks they hooked up 14:25 - Vex goes to check on Lillith and finds her letter 16:20 - Grog and Scanlan go looking for Percy (played by Matt this episode) 17:50 - Scanlan asks Percy to make a ladder for the door 20:15 - Keyleth is worried about Percy and opposed to how they’ve all been acting lately 35:45 - Vax brings up the dead child to Keyleth 41:25 - They talk to Uriel 46:30 - They start defending themselves 54:20 - Scanlan inspires Keyleth, she clears Asum of spell 57:00 - Vox Machina revoked from council 59:50 - Scanlan “I look forward to the second parade you throw for us after our names are cleared” 1:04:45 - Allura asks Tibs if he killed that old woman (An old couple is waiting outside the keep and asks them to help find the thing killing everyone’s livestock) 1:24:35 - Scanlan “Remember when I told you not to let anyone linger outside the keep?” 1:29:00 - Break starts 1:45:05 - Break ends, Keyleth tries to talk to Percy 1:50:40 - Desmond starts giving info on the Briarwoods 2:02:10 - Desmond might be safer in the cell, (:45) They’re trying to be nicer 2:04:55 - Percy heard everything 2:09:10 - Scanlan asks Jarrett to look after Desmond 2:15:15 - Vax offers Tiberius a drink, drunk Tibs ensues 2:21:50 - Keyleth “I hate you so much Vax,” Vax - :( 2:27:30 - Trinket is sent to the cells, little Vex and Percy moment 2:34:00 - Scanlan asks for a cow bell, comes up with the cow plan 2:38:10 - Cow-moo-flage 2:39:40 - Alpha cow, Keyleth talks to the cows at 2:41:10 2:44:35 - Bird shows up, Vax cow stealth, Keyleth makes herself available 2:47:00 - Bird grabs Keyleth 2:54:28 - Scanlan dimension doors on bird’s back, 2:55:38 - inspires Keyleth ♪ 2:59:20 - Never worry about Scanlan, Keyleth polymorphs bird into a cow 3:02:35 - Sam’s nat 20 to turn into a pterodactyl 3:03:26 - Vax and Vex are still twins as cows, this is “udderly” ridiculous (They find the bird’s nest and the gnome druid taking care of it, Keyleth and Tiberius unsuccessfully negotiate with him for a while) 3:26:45 - Keyleth feeds the bird some berries and nearly loses her hand 3:38:10 - Scanlan finally gets the guy to agree to go to Vasselheim 3:47:20 - Game ends