sometimes i wish i had a normal childhood.

this reminds me of the night i sat in my father's office room late at night. i'd sit in there every night with him before my bedtime, and then he'd take me upstairs and tuck me in. but, January 5th, 2017 was the day my dad died. he'd been battling Leukemia for almost 5 years. i remember a few days after he passed i snuck downstairs to sit in his office late at night. i sat in his chair and just, sank. this song reminds me of the feeling in my chest that i had that night. i can't explain it, but this song fits it. I'm gonna be 19 this year, i hope he's watching. it's super hard to deal with, especially with a horrible mother reminding me constantly how much i miss the serenity and kindness of my father. ig ill be cliché and live for him, idk.. what else is there to do?

Im so sick of waiting for things to get better💯💯💯

Im so gratefull to have a dad he isnt perfect but perfection its not something to expect someone to be I love you dad

Why can’t i be happy fr

Still feeling the same way I was 7 months ago

The static speaks my name

Jan 8, 2023 11:15 am. The day my father died after years of health problems, going in and out the hospital, and suffering from so much pain. Many surgeries and amputations in an effort to "help him." When I was born he already was ill and me and my mother took care of him despite him being a burden because we love him no matter what. We alone took care of him while others congratulate us on how brave and caring we are while they do nothing. He was put into hospice and forgot where he was and who anybody was but still said I love you too when I tell him I love him. Then on that day he couldn't breath and died while I was there alone with my cousin. On the same week of my birthday. I knew it was going to happen, yet it still left me shocked. Didn't had time to process it as the funeral had to be arranged and when we buried him I had to drive back to my uni far away from my hometown. Now I'm here listening to this tune as it perfectly describes how I feel. At least he is no longer suffering. Sleep well pa.

These days everything feels so distant. It feels like I’m coming to the end of something. Its like i’ve been on this ocean current drifting away from everybody for years now. But i’ve gone too far and now all i see is an empty horizon. I think I’ve always known that there was nothing for me here. Maybe on another planet or in another galaxy I would have been happy. But not here, not ever here. Im too strange for this place.

This reminds me of the day i first saw my dad again, i hugged him for 1hour and cried my heart out. Even if i acted like i hated him i still lover him and missed him like the small kid i was. Sometimes i wish he was still here and could hold me in his arms like he used to. I don’t think i had a bad childhood i mean, maybe but i had everything clothes food and shi but i still needed love from my parents and affection. I hate the fact that i cry at night because i miss him. I hate the feeling in get when i see a little girl with a dad being happy. I hate the feels i get when someone talks about him. I just want to go home but not home with my small house and noisy family no. I want to go home. Where i can feel better stronger and where j can see my dad and my mom each of them happy and living their lives like they wanted to. I don’t want to feel like i ruined it for them anymore i want to see him again one more time even if it is the last time i need him i want to hug him so long and cry in his arms i want to feel the smell of his perfume again.

I miss my dad . 💔

I want to go home. I want to leave. I want to go to bed. Please. I’m tired, I’m cold. I want to go home. I want to sleep. Please take me home.

this expalins so much that no words could ever

i cried so hard to this last night…

when😂does😂it😂get😂better😂😂😂😂😂😂

Why can’t I be normal Why can’t I be normal Why can’t I be normal Why can’t I be normal Why can’t I be normal

I wish my dad never rode a motorbike. I wish my dad showed his affection to me instead of being always cold and distant. I wish I talked to my dad more often. I wish my dad could be around now. I wish my dad could of been the father I needed.

whats the point of going further in life if you already know there's nothing for you in the future

Everyone will be forgotten eventually.. nothing matters at the end of the day but hey, we only live once as far as we know so.. hard times or not just keep fightin and turn the sufferin into something better, or die in the way. Up to you, at the end of the day once you grow up and turn into an adult, your the only one in control of your own existence, are you gonna throw it off and end it up quick? or you gonna fight till the last breath? you decide.

reminds me of the good days. when i didn’t mess up everything with my dad. he’s so disappointed in me and mad at me and it’s all my fault. 4 years of hell i put him through and i just can’t stop. idk how to stop. i know i can still fix it but i really don’t know how at this point. he doesn’t even believe the fact that i love him. i’m so sorry dad. i’m sorry for everything. i love you dad, i love you as much as when i was little. when i didn’t see the world the way i see it today. just seeing this song title makes me bawl. i miss when i was little. i miss when i still had my innocence and my innocent sight of the world. sorry everyone jus had to vent. and with that, goodnight dad, i love you, so so much.

Used to cry to this thinking about my dad and how I didn’t know if I’d wake up in the morning and how I’d leave him with that pain….things are not better but I am so thankful they are no longer there.

Need a hug fr

Rant: Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so deeply alone, I wish this pestering feeling of loneliness would go away. It feels like there is a void somewhere in my chest and the only way of getting rid of it is by sleeping because it's all just nothingness when I sleep. although in the end I become guilty and the people around me tell me that I am sick but if I am sick why don't you comfort me? Why do you yell at me? Why do you continue to alienate me?

i dont know what it is about this song but it makes me cry every time i hear it

I just want someone to love me the way i love them

🔥💯mane can i end my life already💯🔥

I wish I didn’t have to sleep alone every night , I wish at least one person would be ok with that, but no one ever will with how ugly I am , no matter how I try to change myself it’s not enough, maybe I should jus give it up

maximum depression

this is so hurtful💔

Hello everyone, I just came to say that my life was beautiful but I can't take the suffering I have every day if I change something, the suffering I have will not change. I always try to improve and I can't, I know I'm to blame for everything but they still tell me. Everything bores me now, I just came to say that this will be my farewell, don't do what I'm going to do, go on with your life, don't care about the criticism they tell you, keep going like this, if you're wrong, change before something like this happens to you me. Bye

so tired.

This audio feels just like home

"Drug abuse took him away from you." Why can't I ever have a normal life.. I wanted to know my father. He just faded into a bad person.. Died alone at a bus stop and I never got to say I love you.

It's cold.

i’m listening this to relax, and maybe cry because i just realized that he might actually like me and not just care about my body or if i send to him or not or if i talk sxually with him or shit like that. i’m happy.

I ain’t gon cap I just don’t wanna be here sometimes

Dad, forgive me for not being able to say 'I love you', forgive me for not showing you how much I admire you, you are always there for me when I need you, however I cannot show you how grateful I am to have you as a father... dad, I love you, but it's hard for me to show it to you, I hope one day I can tell you how much I love you, dad.

i😂feel😂so😂numb😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I have a good family and Friends but idk why i fell so empty. I dont have a purpose in Life, idk maybe i Just Need a gf...life Is very strange....

i love you papa

I wish my dad was like the other dads

My dad died today, my home is gone.

My brain thinks I can’t cry anymore that is just how good good of an actor i am😂😂

this song made me relapse sadly. my relationship with my father isnt that good at all, as of now he left me to go to brazil and today is fathers day, i really wished i had a present father who i could wish him a happy day, but he left, like he did years ago, and i dont even know when it will get better, im just fighting to survive all the physicall, emotional and mental abuse he did to me, and thanks to that abuse i got r4p3d. and after all of this is till love him, i tell him "its not your fault" "ill protect you" "i love you" and blame it all on me, being too scared to say no to him from his anger issues, hitting me if i behaved badly. honestly i wish i had a normal childhood, and i wish my dad was better, i dont know if im being needy but thats all i wish for, for him to not have left me, for him to not have abused me, for him to try and leave his frugs and alchohol, for im to do the bare minimum of affectio towards me... whoever is reading this i hope youre fighting and i beleive in you, we can do this together.

I thought I was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower

why did u have to go through all those years of pain and torture mom you were the kindest soul ive ever known, you always made sure how much you loved me and that im a living miracle, what did you do to have to spend over half my life in such a state of disrepair.. lymphedema took you from me and it took you from yourself. I wish I could tell you how much I love and miss you and how deeply sorry I am for the way I acted when you were still around, we barely have any photos together... didn't even get to see me turn 16 which was your very last wish.. If there's a god I just want to ask him why my mom had to suffer the way she did, what was the lesson? the reason? answers ill never stop asking myself and never get the answer too. Goodnight mom i love you so much.

I had a dream last night where I started tearing up because somebody gave a shit about me and the stuff I’ve been talking to myself about for the past few years. I don’t remember her face, but when I woke up and realized, I had this song stuck in my head

I just want to feel loved

I never got to say goodbye to you. You wanted to get home earlier, and you managed to get here only in coffin 2 weeks later. I will never forget those who took your life. Thank you for who i am and goodnight. 22.09.2018

I remember a fortune teller telling my dad and stepmom that they would meet a bad summer. On the 21st of June my dad died, ever since then I have been drifting of going with the flow of things. Nothing mattered to me anymore, nobody to prove myself to and everyone just sticking around because the pitied me. Its a weird feeling after years its like he didn't leave but then the realisation comes, a sudden wave of sadness comes over you and you stand there wandering why he got taken.

This is to Suleman and Shahzada Dawood who tragically are, as of writing this, thought to be lost at sea in Ocean Gate’s Titan. The son and father set out to go on an expedition and ended up in a nightmarish story. May they find peace in each others embrace and a merciful, quick death. I wish they could be found alive, however, currently they would only have 11 hours of oxygen left and the submersible has yet to be discovered. The best we can hope is that the machine left their bodies somewhat in tact for the families to mourn properly. Goodnight dad, I love you.

I wish I had a dad

I never had my mom to grow up with she left so i had to depend so much on my dad and knowing hes getting old made me realize how much im nothing with out him i need him in my life or im empty i love him so much i dont want him to die yet im still his daughter ans i still need him here i wish hed quit that stupid job so hes atleast safe

Thank you for this!

find peace within the lonesome 🙂

Love this. Keep it up❤️ ( I hate everything about myself, and i should end my shi fr )

Today I cried a lot. I was holding my tears so long and tonight I just cant hold it anymore. I feel useless at this moment and I feel noone is real to. I think they just fake their 'friendship' with me. I dont know that to do and I'm lost ...

I miss

I love you dad.

I Want to be happy again lol

Today would've been my dad's birthday

i just want to feel again

jus chillin in my room knowing idc bout nun 😢😊

I honestly don't know how to feel, I haven't seen my father in years he's done many wrong things he's abused me mentally and physically but before all that he was the best ever and I have no idea if I should love him or despise him, I somewhat feel neutral but I know he's out there somewhere he hasn't died yet and I wonder if he changed. Goodnight dad, I love you.

Listening to this my first day of senior year. I'm not ready to be done with school yet.

I have a dad but he always mad and angry he don't show love or kind side it's like one time or tow time he did it so year after year i start to be like him no feelings to him or anyone

Ik this song is about dads.. but I lost my friend October 18th 2022. I known her since I was 3. One day my dad was scrolling on social media. He saw that she was in the hospital. She was walking down the street with her two brothers and friends.. they walked across but they didn’t see a truck coming for them. They had no time to move. Her brother got hurt in the process too. She died at 11:00pm…. There was nothing we could do or they could do. My dad got a call from her mom explaining it. My dad called me into the room to tell me.. I kid you not I was crying for a whole 2 weeks.. she was my longest friend I’ve had. And within a few hours she passed. We were supposed to call the next day but we never could…. She died at 14 years old. She was so young…. I just want my friend back yk ☹️

how do I keep pretending I'm not suffering?

THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE!!😂 I couldn't even load 2 shells!!😂 Painted my ceiling IMMEDIATELY😂😂 Clean up asile MY WALLS‼😂😂😂

man idk what can i say i had no mom no dad i had only grandfather who been killed front of my eyes i can give u yall advice just love yourself everything around you just save moments and scenes in ur mind im sayin this here cuz there is no one for me but shit man im fkdup

Happy Father’s Day…

love it

my dad is in prison right now. i am 18. he was barely in my life, and when he was, he is an alcoholic and abusive to my mom. i have tried to keep in touch with him, but its so hard. like insanely hard. one second everything is fine then it all crumbles down. he finally started to take care of himself this year and then he got arrested. i saw him for the first time in my life realize he messed up and wanted to actually fix it. but his actions caught up to him in consequences. i love him, and i hope in prison he can fully self reflect and turn his life around. i want him in my life but it is also so so painful to watch him. but he is my dad after all so i yearn for a relationship with him. but just not one that leaves my feeling like i have been punched in the chest when i watch him fail again and think of all he has done to ruin my life. i just wanted him to be healthy and happy, not sad and sorry.

Real

"it will get better" dude its been 1 year

It’s going to be ok I promise..

this how my mind be sounding

i’m not goin got make it i have nothing no one n ohope left everything is going wrong for me i’m trying to be strong but i’m not string

I haven't done sh in almost a week.. I can't even explain how depressed this song makes me, I feel like I will cut my arms tonight.. All of my scratches are basically faded, I need to make more bracelets.. Very soon..

❤

a minha vontade é de morrer para acordar em algum mundo onde eu tenho uma vida boa

i'm never gonna feel love. but at least coming to terms with it is good. i guess?

why moms make u see your dads as mosters and talk shit about them. my mom hates my dad but i love him. i love to watch all that old videos in that old camera whit me and my dad playing and being happy, i havent see him in almost a year now

I'm scared man😕

Im the only one who's not sad here (i actually am) (i am)

tonights the night

Why doesn't it get better 😂

I'm not ok.

Idk anymore 😂

when will it get better LOL

андрюша я все еще люблю тебя, я скучаю за твоим милым и высоким голосом, я знаю что мы больше никогда не увидимся но я знаю лишь одно, я никогда тебя не забуду ты был лучшим для меня человеком, извини меня за все мо милый, я очень люблю тебя как никто прежде.. ты будшь счастлив с другой, но я не буду счастлива с другим. мне очень тяжело тебя отпускать потому что ты был единственным лучиком света в моей жизни. я никогда не забуду твой смех, твои рассказы. для них у меня отдельных угол с воспоминаниями, извини меня за мои глупости и так далее, хех.. я надеюсь ты будешь счастлив.) ты частичка меня андрюша, и всегда ей будешь. *твоя варечка.*

gn dad ily vs dust collector intro

Real.

Que inferno mano, olha esses comentário. Viver é bizarro demais.

She called me annoying disgusting, etc (i js want to be my self around her be a kid again.

real

Im so tired

I cant make it

Reminds me of my dog I’m crying again😂😂😂its already been a year and I’m still crying from his death🤣🤣

my dad died a little over a month ago