Narcs kill the innocence of an empath. Once you date a narcissist, you learn that not everyone has pure intentions like you do🤦🤦

I find it incredible how you can speak seventeen minutes straight about a very complex topic coherently and without losing your train of thought. Everything makes sense and is easy to follow, but also not over-explained so that it gets boring. And on top of being an incredible speaker you are also possibly the best recourse regarding narcissism.

They hate to be contradicted and always have to have the last word. It’s best to tune them out! Don’t share any personal information with them because they always have to up one over you in order to feel superior. So insecure

If anyone wants to know what a healthy person looks like who is also charming, charismatic, attractive, and intellectually brilliant, I've actually met such a person. They really do exist. This guy is genuinely interested in other people. He not only listens well, but spontaneously talks about other people's perspectives. He has a way of slipping compliments into the conversation without embarrassing the person being complimented. He complains about people he doesn't like, but he also says kind things about people behind their backs. He does compassionate things that no one is likely to find out about. For example, I found out he routinely gives money to street people because I was walking downtown with him and all the street people greet him as a friend. He knows their names and asks specific questions about their lives. He's not perfect and can admit to his own faults, even joke about stupid things he's done. But the most telling difference between him and a grandiose narcissist is that he not only makes people feel good about themselves, he inspires us all to be kinder people.

Seriously, you need to join Khan academy or something. Many of us have been struggling for months or even years trying to figure out what was happening to us. Our bodies knew it wasn't healthy but our brain and emotions kept struggling to find an explanation to it all, and thus we stayed. It's like you're successfully teaching calculus to us in terms a 5 year old would understand. HERO!

It's funny how I pay so much attention to people now.

Warning: the quiet humble one can be a covert narcassist - I learnt this the hard way.

Dr Ramani, thank you so much for helping me wrap my head around this whole thing.

My innate ability to see right through people since I was a child got me in so much trouble with narcissist family members, I now am starting to understand that I might have been a threat without knowing. ironically, I would have never, ever, used it to hurt anyone,

The advice to not go for the shiniest person in the room can really be helpful for me. I've always yearned for someone honest and authentic but continually got attracted to dishonest and narcissistic people. now I know why!

Quiet and humble doesn’t mean authentic, not necessarily. I had to learn that the hard way. More about that, on the “covert” video.

It's exhausting. I know that I am just a part of their fan club. I also have to listen to the storytelling that goes on and on and on.

We need to talk about ENABLERS / Accessories to the fact --- people who enable these monsters ! ! ! flying monkeys ! ! ! who let them get away with this .

Dr. Ramani!! you went off today girl! :-) I'm sitting in my small NYC apartment and had to stand up and give you a round of applause a few times. This video really resonated with me and I thank you.

My wake up call came when I realised I was nothing but a temporary status update for my Narc husband. I chose to believe and cling on to the fairy tale and ended up paying a hefty price for it.

Companies seek out the "charismatic" leader - and they are just disasters. Maybe someday companies will truly hire for excellence. I worked for a grandiose boss who stole my ideas and always undermined anything I said. I left.

WOWOWOWOW...I’ve always called myself ‘dad’s jewelry’ - when he needs to show off or fill whatever need I provided, I was noticed. Otherwise, I was dismissed and expected to quietly wait in the back until he needs me again. Geez...I’m glad I’m in therapy finally. This is messed up.

After watching your videos for over a week, I was brave enough to leave my abusive relationship. Upon my departure, I discovered through his phone that he was cheating. I am so hurt but trying my best to be optimistic of the future. Spent a lot of time and energy that I cannot get back.

basically Grandiose are salespeople

I've also noticed when being introduced to a narcissist they shake your hand really tight & stare at you with authority. I immediately feel fear & discomfort

Yes you're a hero, Captain America has met his female match!

This is my dad. He's such a liar! When he had a "good day" it was amazing and fun, he's funny, and engaging. However his low days he'd hit my mom, he'd yell and scream, i was terrified. I got really good at reading his moods and was always hyper aware of his mood swings. You either existed or disappeared depending on his mood. So glad mom left him!

I had to learn a long time ago the Cinderella story is a fable.

I wish I had your videos when I was married to my ex. It was exhausting trying to get back to those ‘golden days’ when things were the best I’ve ever had in a relationship. I used to tell people, “The good is SO good, but the bad is HORRIBLE!” I now understand the trauma bond I was caught up in. Thank you so much Dr. Ramani for educating people on this toxic cycle so they can see the red flags early!!

Dr. Ramani have you considered doing this series for teenagers? I feel this information is necessary for our children and their relationships with their friends.

The grandiose narcissist in my family is my brother in-law. I haven't had a whole complete day that hasn't ended with arguing, drama and anxiety.

Ugh...just let them go...run...leave...no contact.🏃‍♀️

I knew about the grandiose narcissism that's rampant in my family, but never realized until watching this video how previous supervisors and some former friends fit this definition. It's challenging to get away from this when it's ingrained from childhood to be an enabler to the narcissist's schemes.

Is money mismanagement /irresponsibility a frequent theme in narcissistic personalities?

You are defining my mother in law completely. The sad part is my husband doesn’t recognize any of these traits. I have stopped talking to her completely and my husband thinks I am rude.

My mother was a narrcisst. I had 3 siblings. The oldest was the golden child, I was the invisible one, my brother was the scapegoat. Our mother was neglecting to care for our father after a severe stroke. We stepped in and had to go to court to make sure he received the care he needed. Did I mention she was a millionaire and care should not have been an issue. Upon her death she bequeathed her 4 children 50 cents. Her 9 grandchildren (all late teens to early 20's) inherited money that almost destroyed most of them. She new this would happen and this was HER revenge.

The sad thing about validating them I have experienced makes them more cocky and grandiose and they try and attack others

Joel osteen. Jd Farage, Paula white, Jesse duplantise , Chelsea the cheerleader. Plus many more. God is showing me more about my prayer. Change is coming!

Wow, this explains the narc in my life! This is why they were able to thrive and be enabled for so long. They are the Golden goose! I understand flying monkeys and manipulation, but the narc in my life seems exceptionally good at gathering those types of people around her and enlisting others to help gaslight. And this is why, the whole Golden goose thing! Thank you so much.

@ 3:05 "Alternate between some really good days and some really bad days"...I remember being asked by a narcissist after a couple of years post vacationing era in the relationship, which vacations I enjoyed the most...I listed off two that I particularly enjoyed. Then I was asked which vacations I found to be difficult. It was really interesting to find out that the ones I found to be the worst (because of the narcissistic behavior) were her best vacations and the ones that I found to be the best were her worst. Does this have something to do with narcissistic supply? When I felt absolutely demolished she felt absolutely wonderful and conversely, when I felt really good she hated it? The insanity of it all...

Excellent. Can’t wait for the covert narcissist series. Also, would love to hear from you on intergenerational trauma and how pathological narcissism gets carried down from generation to generation.

you just perfectly described my phd supervisor... He was nice when everything was going well. then he didn't get the grant, pandemic started, and become so abusive towards me! He was also inhibiting my progress! not allowing me to take courses, conferences, not even take any control over my own experiments! and when they were not going well because of his bad advises, I was blamed! But yeah, he is resonably famous in my field so many people look up to him, THOUGH a few realised what kind of person he really is...

What's the Narcissistic Glossary term for the need to always find something wrong with their surroundings in order to maintain the upper hand? Something like the cousin to invalidation. No matter what you present, they have to find something wrong with it or distract from the positive in order to reinforce the negative. Constantly bringing others down to appear above or distract from their own vulnerabilities. Even if its the smallest thing. Many narcissists who thrive on victimization also have this tactic engrained in their moment to moment interactions as a source of steady supply.

Excellent beginning for this new series. You described my father perfectly. I was able to cut him out of my life completely after I moved to another state and got married. But thinking back on it it was so hard even after deciding to keep my distance with him for 2 years after he cheated on and left my mother for a girl who was only 3 years older than me. I was very firm about not wanting him in my life but he kept trying to guilt and hoover me back... Though he was persistent I can also be very stubborn and when I choose something I stick to it no matter what. I never forgave him for what he did to my mother and the things he was doing in secret for 20 years. It's been at least a year since the last time he tried to contact me and I had stopped engaging with him. Feels like it was so long ago now. I still have memories from my childhood and all the good times we had. I will miss him sometimes, but I miss what I thought I had. I know it wasn't healthy. My whole life has been crumbled completely twice. Once when I learned who he truly was as a narcissist and the second time when I realized I was raised in a religious cult too. Another reason I follow your channel so much because being in a cult is like being in a narcissistic relationship.

My older brother is a psychopathic, machiavellian, pedophilic grandiose narcissist. But I took him down, and now he'll never hurt another child or woman, and never cheat another man. I took him down early in his psychopathic crime spree, and he's going to be locked up until he's old and lame. That's how I handled my grandiose narcissist.

Recently I have wondered if my mother came to be a narc. bc of her roots. Narcs and money, it seems, are always a bad combination. There's either holding it over other's heads, (my mom, an accountant, used to print me spreadsheets of how much money I owed her every Sunday); or not operating in good faith. My mother has told me, at 17, when she started dating my father (6 years older), to "get out of the house." My dad had his Phd, so it was a good marry for her. She had me at 27 years old, but she has always been emotionally stunted because of it. I was nevere a disrespectful kid, I never said cuss words, or yelled, or said that teenage mantra of "I hate you." I would just go up to my room and slam the door. My mother, in her immaturity, would come right outside my bedroom door afterwards, taunting me with things like, : "Aww, you're so tough. You feel better now that you slammed a door?" I wanted to say "fook yes", but I just seethed on the other side of my bedroom door.

Mi sister is a grandiose narc. She is beautiful, achieved her dreams, has an amazing partner and overall a great life. She is full of herself but she has a covert side, which is that she is insecure and always wants more because she thinks she deserves it. A better job, more attention from her boyfriend, the adoration of my parents. She resents me because in her mind she thinks my parents didn't give her as much attention than me but she also did waay better than me in life. My parents raised us both the same, only that I struggled a lot more so they helped me (still) and became enablers at some point but they gave her money to study, pay her vacations and everything. They even gave her money for a boob job 🙄. But nothing is enough to her she is also super greedy, everything is money money money. And critiques f.e how i spent my money when she spent way more money in her appearence and life in general. She uses the victim card and cries a lot (fake crying) when someone critics her even in a constructive way. Her partner is tired but he loves her even if she takes him for granted. I always wondered why men felt attracted to her because in the outside she looks amazing but then she is a pain in the ass, now i get it more. All her ex bf and her actual bf are enablers and never in a better position than her. She loves this idea of "I'm the best of the best" but she also hates herself. And her covert side is awful, she projects a lot in me, she is cruel and manipulative. And her excuse "I'm like this i can't change". It's my only sister but we are every day more and more appart. It hurts because i love her but sadly she is a narc and wont change

This is a correction from my comment on the part 1 video. I married divorced a grandiose narcissist, and then dated another grandiose narcissist. I'm basically scarred for life by these two horrible men.

Dr. Ramani, thank you for your wisdom. Please elaborate some more on the narcissistic nature of the TV series Tiger King because I refuse to watch and promote such behaviour that has no intrinsic value and meaning. We are becoming a culture rooted in various forms of narcissism rather focus on how we can expand meaning in our life and others, we seek the worst of ourselves and then adorn and worship it.

I work for an organization that are fill with these people. They are the bosses and leaders. Its very tiresome dealing with them

Dr. Ramani apologized for covering some of the same material. I appreciate that as it really drives the points home. Thank you Dr. Ramani!

Probably the only TV show about a quiet man full of kindness and wisdom: Painting with Bob Ross

I've witnessed the fall of a grandiose narcissist on youtube when they were very cruel to another woman and half of their subscriber base turned on them once they realized how fake they really were. They were known as a comedian, so at first we all assumed they were kidding around with us, but it soon became apparent that they weren't kidding that time. I enjoy all your videos! It's like my daily therapy session!

My therapist opened my eyes that my sister, the golden child, is a narcissistic and so was my mother. With my sister, not to have an argument, I only talk about a few topics. There is one more child of a narcissistic mother and that is the obedient one. I was both the scapegoat and the obedient one. Many times I wanted to get away then she told me that she would commit suicide if I left. I stayed to take care of my father and mother when she had cancer and was not free until I was 42. I am 73 now and still don't have a life and never will.

Web need to teach this in schools ! We can and must do more than just help those who have already been victimized. Thanks ! Great work. I would like to advocate for prevention.

These videos are really good. I appreciate all your knowledge and wisdom of the human experience. The mirror🤳 in their face is a two sided mirror. If they don't have the ability to self reflect, then they will forever be locked in that false image they created to blend in with the world.

There is this Netflix series called "SUITS" where many of the characters could be labelled as Grandiose Narcissists. Now I understand why my Narcissistic ex wife loved to watch it so much.

Awesome as ALWAYS. (Glossary recommendation: Radical Acceptance)

Yay! Part 2....thanks for such a quick follow up Dr. Ramani!💜

The righteousness, the self loathing really grosses me. It’s tricky, Because kept me on my toes. I tried all my best to win her over, it’s like push mountain uphill. I aways stay in the bottom.

What are ways an adult child can repair from being raised by a grandiose parent and/or covert narcissist parent? I had both and turned out to be the family empath. I wish I had learned from Dr. Ramani prior to my first romantic relationship. It took 20+ years to realize I was choosing narcissistic partners. I and I'm sure many other children of narcissists here would love a series on our recovery.

Many Thanks Dr Ramani for all you do - and your generosity in your help and wisdom -

Heaven bless you🌸 You get everything & I am soooooo thankful for your videos. Never realized I was literally surrounded by toxic narcissists out only for themselves. Plz keep the amazing videos coming. 🌷🌼🌺 Bless you.

Growing up with a narcissistic mother, I always had my antennas up..you made this clear for me as to why I was always shand by some bosses and co-workers. And yes they always met their demise. And yes I belive that every dog has their day..thanks for opening my eyes.

Thank you!! You really explain this subject well. Much needed information because these people are everywhere.

Yoyo! This sums up my marriage perfectly with the absolute exhaustion and demoralising that comes with it. In family of origin handmaiden and invisibility spot on! It was so much easier not to be myself than risk attack or demands. I am so relieved that I am now free and my own person. Thank you for these videos! ❤️

Wonderful Dr.Ramani.The greatest explanation ever.

Self loathing? It's good to be confident.Dont people just want to be happy . This sounds like too much work .Cant lie .wow .unbelievable. Thank you for your time .Your wisdom .Learning moving forward. Blessing

The workplace situation you described was 1000% my experience at my prior job. It feels good to be understood.

Thank you Dr. Ramini. Your insight and teaching always bring me one more notch up. You made my day. Sands

You have no idea how much I look up to you. Your videos and who you are as a person is really, really inspiring.

SPOT ON! Thank you Dr. Ramani!

Thank you soo much for all your help and training on these videos! U are so amazing!

Thank you for all you do to educate us on these toxic people. It's tough to navigate and your insight really helps with awareness for sure.

Wow! This video explains so much more about my narcissistic pastor. Had to leave her and the whole church behind. Everyone still caught up in her charm and all the “grand” things she does. Hard to leave but I now have my peace and freedom!

So thankful to have a friend share your channel with me. It’s all making sense and I do not feel like i’m going crazy. My husband sounds like the grandiose narcissist, and his family is full of all types of narcissism. His brother is malignant, his brother’s wife is covert, mother is covert passive aggressive, father is overt, sister is covert passive aggressive. Damn. It’s truly devastating.

Ooookkkk. Gotcha! What I use to say that I develop the worst in people, you explain why: when they are identified they isolate others. Loving it. "False scenario & the authentic picture" Thank you, Dr. ♥️

What an incredible talent you have Dr. Ramani 💙 I have two quick questions: 1. Can a Grandiose Narcissistic man be the product of a Covert Narcissistic mother? 2. Can a Grandiose Narcissist have another narcissist as a partner? Millions thanks in advance! 🙏🙏🙏

Thank you Dr. Ramani for sharing all of your knowledge with us. Stay safe. 💕

My father was a sociopath. My mother, brother's & myself all lived in fear on a daily basis. After beating us he would ghost us for months at a time. We would spend everyday fearing his return. When he returned I felt compelled to kiss his behind so he wouldn't beat us or my mother.

Hey Dr Ramani THANK YOU for making this series it is so informative and your whole manner is so comforting, really, really appreciate the work you're doing.

I was married to that boss you described and he couldn’t stand his home life because at home life he didn’t feel revered as he did at work- so I suspect he had many inappropriate relationships and affairs and he finally left after 21 years of marriage. I feel like I gave him the credibility of the great husband and family man while he was using it as a shield that wouldnt blow his cover Can you speak to that. Is this a common phenomenon?

I love your approach! So clear and easy to understand. The people who bought property across from me are very narcissistic. They harass me and try to claim some of my property as their own because they feel entitled to it. They cause me much stress. They want to take me to court but can't afford to so are baiting me into taking them to court ! Help! It's crazy making. They launched a campaign against me three years ago and are relentless. I've lived here 26 years without a problem! Went no contact with them two years ago when I realized they were really disfunctional. Have learned so much about narcissists, it's the thing that helps me stay sane . Thank you.

Dr. Ramani you are the GOAT! Thank you so much for helping me with my journey

Good Afternoon Dr. Ramani, Just to thank you for this channel, It's absolutely awesome!!!!😀😀😀😀 I have learned a lot from you, I was very depressed before, however, now i am beginning to understand why i got hurt this whole time by my narcissistic father, narcissistic mother,and narcissistic sister!!!😐😐 Anyways, i really apreciated you take the time to construct this you tube channel, and you are being so kind to share your wisdom with all of us, thank you!!! 😃😃😃 YOU REALLY ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN THIS WORLD, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! 😃😃😃

Great stuff, Dr. Ramani. 👍💕

Ok Dr Ramani, you are very good you just summed up who my ex wife is to a tee. Thank you, i only wished i knew all of this before she destroyed our marriage, and has caused irreparable damage to two beautiful children ages 10 and 5. Stay bless!

Thank you, Dr. Ramani, that was super helpful.

Absolute TRUTH! Unbelievable how accurate this is across the board... wondering how they all seem to follow the same patterns?

Ugh what a legend you are. Respect

Thank you so much I appreciate your help and advice.

Thank you. I am so grateful for your explanations on this subject. ❤❤❤

I had a coworker that was exactly this. We were good friends and he was interested and I wasn’t. Wow. I worked with him for 8 years and I have stories you wouldn’t believe. Thank you for spreading your knowledge. I wish I had it then.

My ex told me that I should feel lucky to be his girlfriend because it’s not easy for someone like him to be committed like he is to me.

Thank you for this video. I really enjoyed your content. ☺️

Dr. Ramani, your insight on human behaviour and society is truly so surgical and profound it astonishes me. When you were talking about "why we end up in these relationships" and you said "...why we always look to/for(?) the shiniest object.". That was really something. Of course, their behaviour and way of being is problematic and hurtful and need to be discussed, but we should also stop and take a look at ourselves and how and why this became a problem in our lives in the first place. Why is it that this is happening, and, if it is the case, why does this *keep happening*? It's not about "attaching blame" to ourselves, it's really just to help us not only understand ourselves better - but also build a solid, genuine self-protective characteristic to our persona. Thank you for giving me so much to reflect upon by watching your videos. I, myself, am a Psychology student, and Narcissism has been a very special interest ever since I even got to high school, so I honestly am so very grateful for your videos and such. x

So glad I found your page....thank you!

Thank you again Dr. Ramani.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT NARCISSISTIC CONDITIONING OF VICTIMS ! ! ! THREAT MODE OF TARGETS ! ! !

Wow Dr Ramami 💗 you just described my last supervisor... I had to quit that job, emotionally exhausted and depressed, now I am sending applications for jobs but facing this fear of encounter another toxic environment. Thank you!!!

Your videos have been transformational for me. Thank you so much

Oi oi oi! 🤦🏻‍♀️ I think I've got me one of these. Textbook. It's all so clear to me now. Dr Ramani, I stumbled upon your work a few days ago and am binging on your videos to find answers for why I have such a funny taste in my mouth after having had to move in with my A&E medic boyfriend due to Covid. I was thrilled to bits by the grand sweeping gesture (ie rescue) and dramatic/exciting dash for the border (to a neighbouring country 🇬🇧-->🇧🇪) as Covid hit. But 3 months in.... he looks at his phone every time I open my mouth (after I've sat through hours/days of his stories) and seems to be quite emotionally uncomfortable/distant/unavailable in a way I hadn't quite fully appreciated pre-lockdown-lock-in (ex un-reciprocated hugs). When I bring it up, sentences like "I'm sorry you feel that way" abound. 🤔 Unnerving. Your detailed descriptions are really really helpful and may very well save me years of heartache. Thank you! Now onto Covert Narcissists 🍿

Preach it Dr Ramani!!

Because I was my mother's only child, I got full force-- everything. The grand days invalidating from the inside, while people on the outside were so wowed. On the bad days, because Grandiose is more obvious people would come back to steal, sue in vendetta, then the covert/community Narc came out. "Woe is me, I do all these nice things for these broke ass people around me, and save all these cats." I became a stress ball for the good days (as a personal slave), and the bad where there was a full on shrill scream that still echos in my mind very clearly even though I've been staying away as much as humanly possible for almost 2 years.

I have learned that the only way to meet the challenge when confronted with grandiose narcissists is for me to listen carefully to their words to find that crack in their armor which my feeble efforts to shine a light on is sure to be multiplied by a power much greater than me. And so while it may appear on the outside that I am trying to be grandiose in the moment too when standing up to their grandiose naming schemes sprung at what they believe is an ideal time to strike my equally allegedly grandiose repsonse in the moment in truth is only my own efforts to hone my skills at being assertive with the truth while being free in the truest sense. Thanks to the efforts of yours Dr. Ramani and others to educate me on the truth about narcissism and narcissists in general now being confronted by the narcissist who wants to play his look at me and my bot or whatever game only feels like another chance for me to prepare for any real high risk possible confrontation with a harder to deal with personality disordered person while I am being much wiser in my decision process concerning my own commitments than before.