Grieving My Old Life
Рет қаралды 94,687
Жыл бұрынP.O. Box
Jenny Appleford
7211 Haven Ave, Unit E-407
Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91701
INSTAGRAM: jenny_appleford
FACEBOOK: Our Brave Jenny
For business inquiries: veganapplefords@gmail.com
DIAGNOSIS:
March 19th, 2021 Stage IIIA Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (Non-Smoking)
February 2022 Stage IV Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (spreading to Brain, and other parts of lung and lymph nodes)
Gene Mutation EGFR with Exon 20 Insertion
TREATMENTS: Received or currently Receiving
2021: 8 Rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin and Paclitaxel) with 30 concurrent radiation treatments to chest and lung
Failed Immunotherapy directly after Chemo and Radiation (Durvalumab, 1 round)
2022: Chemotherapy
10 rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin, Alimta, and Avastin)
6 with Carboplatin, 4 without
Targeted Brain Radiation (Completed)
CURRENT TREATMENT:
I am on a clinical trial for my specific gene mutation
Our GoFundMe Link:
gofund.me/5edf81e5
The purpose of my channel is to document my cancer journey to look back on, and/or help anyone else going through anything similar. It is also to potentially help loved ones supporting those who are in this fight as well. This is also an easy way to update a lot of people at once. My main goal is to have footage of this journey for my husband and children to look back on. I originally created this channel as a sort of video diary for my
family.
Thank you so much for following along on this journey. Your love and support help me so much.
@deefitzgerald2906 8 ай бұрын
Hard to believe she is gone in 9 months from making this video….Rest in Peace Beautiful Lady…..
@Dawn2727 8 ай бұрын
Just thinking the same thing
@machellelokersonvlog1273 8 ай бұрын
I’ve been thinking the same thing for the last two days. I feel I should live life to the fullest but my body won’t let me! I have to keep trying though! She’s an amazing inspiration to us! 😢🙏
@marinadurrant6322 8 ай бұрын
Life is just so unfair
@Jenna-Roo 7 ай бұрын
ABSOLUTELY HEARTBREAKING! 😢❤🙏🏻🦋💎🐞🕯️🎚️🌈💕🌠💐
@LeAnneM85 6 ай бұрын
I keep watching old videos Jenny just to hear her voice and receive inspiration and strength from her. Her voice soothes me, and her calm demeanor always calms me. I miss you so much Jenny.
@AussieCat111 Ай бұрын
So true! I was just sitting here wondering what makes me keep coming back to these videos, when it makes me so sad that she's gone, and you summed it up well.
@melissapoole8580 7 ай бұрын
So heartbreaking. She was such a wonderful mother. Life on this earth is so unfair.
@BelieverInChristJesus4ever 5 ай бұрын
it's unbelievable how fast things went from okay to that live on October 29th. I've been watching her videos over and over. I miss her so much.
@jojoFranklin Жыл бұрын
I don’t think you realise how great a mother you are. Winnie & Ellis won’t remember the things you didn’t do. They’ll treasure the things you did and the enormous love you show them. I do wish that you’d consider a Go Fund Me. Having some part-time help could make such a difference & so many of us would gladly contribute. You’re family to us.
@jojoFranklin Жыл бұрын
@@SuperChristine000 Thank you! I hadn’t spotted that link. On my way there now.
@ntandosekay Жыл бұрын
Such a powerful comment 👏 ❤🌹🌻
@shellybuttrum8869 Жыл бұрын
@@jojoFranklin his fellow teachers donated their sick pay to them. They have went to Hawaii Las Vegas and other places, gifts from other people. The amount of help this wonderful family has gave them a sense of normalcy thru this horrible time. You can still donate or send gifts or letters to them Jenny's got quite a group of fans on here. I hope this answered your question about donations. 💜
@asesukatinas 8 ай бұрын
I miss this beautiful lady. She gave me so much hope. RIP Jenny.
@ambervputten3322 Жыл бұрын
As a fellow cancer fighter and a mom I get you completely, just wanted to give you a virtual hug ❤ thank you for your honesty and openness, thank you for your effort every minute of the day, youre doing a great job 💪
@calliecooper99 Жыл бұрын
Praying for you ❤️🙏🏻
@sheilahill6415 Жыл бұрын
❤❤❤
@pandawizzz4977 Жыл бұрын
Huge hug to you too girl! Such beautiful loving women, who are fighting to be mommas while we can! Proud of you too Amber
@patriciajames9446 Жыл бұрын
You are such an inspiration, I starting following you a while ago, and you are a beautiful woman 👩 ❤️. Your kids and husband are so supportive... I want to give or shall I say send you a virtual HUG 🫂 🤗.. Stay strong, easier said than done I know.. I look forward to your next video to see how you are doing. Hugs from my hubby and myself. Love ❤️ front Calgary Alberta Canada 🇨🇦 ❤️ ♥️ 😍 💙 💕 🇨🇦 ❤️ ♥️ 😍 💙 💕 🇨🇦 ❤️ ♥️ 😍 💙 💕 🇨🇦 ❤️ ♥️ 😍 💙 💕
@JenDoe1 Жыл бұрын
I’m about halfway through and just wanted to say Jenny, please be kind to yourself ❤ We are so good at beating ourselves up over every little choice we make. Would we do the same to others though? Of course not. So please, please be kind and loving to yourself my dear. We are here for you! Lots of love to you always! ❤❤❤❤
@DavidHernandez-oc1oz 8 ай бұрын
She's now looking at her earthly life in a whole new light
@Iwoasasaned Жыл бұрын
Jenny, even if you didn’t do a quarter of what you are doing for your children right now, it would still be “good enough”. Right now you aren’t just a stay at home mom but you are fighting for your life - and that is a way bigger job than going to work or a side hustle or whatever would be! This fight is your full time job 24 hours a day, every day in the week, no time off. Of course you need help to manage those 2 tasks, everybody would need help in this situation. There is only so much energy in you and you have to use that carefully. Btw. you know, who is the biggest thief of energy ? Pain ! So please, take your pain medicine BEFORE the pain starts robbing the energy, either just on a schedule or right at the start when you notice the first hint, that the pain might start. It’s not the time to fight that fight of “I am strong, I can handle that pain” right now. You want to spend the time with your family pain free and you deserve so. I had to learn that lesson, too (still am 🥴). Bless you and don’t forget, you are the best mom your kids could ask for 💕
@dalhousiekid Жыл бұрын
It seems that you’ve become a deeper person - with more layers, and have gained more empathy. You are simply the best kind of person that there is.❤
@robbielumpkin7935 8 ай бұрын
Jenny I’m sad that I found your videos at the end of your life. But in honor of you I am watching videos of you and your beautiful family. ❤
@tjastrow1976 8 ай бұрын
I sure miss you already!!!❤❤❤
@rhonah2255 4 ай бұрын
4 months already since Jenny became a heavenly angel. Grieving what you hoped life would be seems totally normal.
@aliceschmid9697 Жыл бұрын
OMG, Jenny. Food prep, walking to school and dance, art, playing, baby-sitting, in pain, and making videos for KZfaq. Dealing withsink problems, emotional problems, pain I shudder to think about your IDEAL energy levels! THIS much wouldcompletely exhaust me!!!
@pgraces 8 ай бұрын
I really thought she would beat this cancer. Such a touching story. I bawled my eyes out when they told her she only had so much time left. 😢
@arlenesymes3452 Жыл бұрын
Dont be afraid to ask for extra help as its an important part of your wellbeing and mental health. Your an amazing mum and a excellent role model for your kids, they will love you unconditionally ❤.
@tinah6423 8 ай бұрын
Sure do miss this beautiful, sweet, brave woman❤
@angelak5160 Жыл бұрын
Maybe check and see if home health can stop by a couple days a week and give a hand with laundry, meal planning etc. just for a while until your strength gets better. Thank you for your videos such a wonderful family
@mariannazaitseva8381 Жыл бұрын
Hi Jenny, I have my family/friends taking turns to be with me during the week, even just for few hours. When I am alone both physical and emotional burden is unbearable. Consider having your mom, dad, sister coming taking turns. Don't stay alone in the house. Many hugs.
@kimmclean9933 8 ай бұрын
RIP Jenny ❤🦋🐞
@ruthfoss8463 Жыл бұрын
I’m proud of you too! Cancer is not easy! It effects everyone differently. I grieve for my old self, my BC self! I also tired all the time. I get up eat and I’m ready to go back to bed. But I don’t. An idea- what if Winni went to spend the day with your dad so you could relax and sleep? Maybe you could do this once/week. Hang in there! Your kids are beautiful!
@ctgctg1 Жыл бұрын
It’s okay if your daughter isn’t entertained all the time when you stay at home. Children can learn self reliance and you are doing the best that you can. One thing that might help is a playbook that she could listen to stories from if you need to rest. Buy some that teach her to read and print letters. I learned to read at 2-3 years old based on some of these types of ‘paper resources’. I remember doing this when my mom underwent some major surgery when I was young and my daughter learned using playbooks in the same way. Learning to read at a young age is so much fun for a child. The other suggestion that might help a little is to have Kyle pre-prepare the lunches and breakfast with help,from your son in the evenings. I leaned how to make my own lunch at 4 with some help. It’s great that you had Winnie help make lunch. The more she does the better and she will really feel like she helped you. Hang in there.
@BelleOfAmherst Жыл бұрын
Hi Jenny, Been thinking of you all week. It’s early Sat. a.m., and you got through the first week of Kyle being back at work. I can sense it’s been trying, tiring and sad. (It’s not easy being unwell. Your world gets smaller, you feel you’re letting everyone down, and that’s particularly heartbreaking when it’s Ellis or Winnie.) We’re always here if you want to vent, cry, whatever you need. Much love to you and all! ♥️✨🌅
@KayRunsUltras 8 ай бұрын
I have been following your videos for a while and I want you to know that we all just really love and miss you so much I’ve never met you but I’m crying right now….❤
@julieberns1474 Жыл бұрын
JENNY- Be gentle with yourself; You are amazing. Grief is exhausting so I hope you can rest your body. ❤
@melcerra2375 Жыл бұрын
When I was pregnant with my twins, I had 2 small children home with me. I was so sick. No energy, sick all of the time and a husband that was working long hours. I cried a lot and I am not one who cries often. I would literally lay on our living room floor while they played around me. They are teens now and I just asked them what they remember of that time. They remember my presence. I was there with them and we cuddled a lot. They remember being able to help me. Littles love to help. They helped 'fold' clothes and definitely got more screen time than usual, but they don't look back on that time as a burden on them. I know it isn't the same as having cancer, but I promise, your kids will look back on this time and remember how hard to worked to make this time special while fighting cancer. They will see you as strong and amazing mother. Also, take the help. There is no shame in that. I wish I had asked for more help. It may help to have some kind of schedule so you don't wait until you are beyond exhausted to ask for help.
@robyn220 10 ай бұрын
I was a single mom for my daughters entire life! And your so right! They do not remember any of the stuff that we as moms feel so much guilt about. I was working and going to college full time when she was a baby and I had major health issues after her birth and a spinal injury. Anyway, I would be so exhausted but too stubborn to ask for help, (also my family was not safe to ask as they were abusive to me and I’d never allow my daughter around that) anyway, i remember laying on the floor crying or dosing off so many times when she was small. I bought a huge play pin inclosure so she couldn’t get away from me if I fell asleep but I’d be inside it w/ her as I wanted to be there for her every need but I was so over worked and physically exhausted. She’s now an adult and has zero memory of any of that. She only remembers my presence and unconditional love. It blows my mind at times when she thanks me for things I forgot I even did at times. Kids are so resilient. Your so right!!!! ❤❤❤
@joannehardin4868 8 ай бұрын
After years of suffering my mother died of cancer when I was 11, you are leaving your 2 children wonderful memories of mommy. I wish I had the power to fix things like this….but all I have is prayers and good vibes sent your way. Kyle is a blessing but you already know that, your children are precious and you are a wonderful mom. God Bless. ❤️ 🙏
@annkarpinskireddog Жыл бұрын
I don't know how much easier this is gonna get personally I think Kyle might have to become your full time carer for a longer time just take care it's definetly putting a big strain on you hope something works out ♥️♥️♥️♥️🐾🐾🌟🌟🌟
@badge2045 8 ай бұрын
Aww. Look how good she looked. So nice to hear her voice. You are so missed Jenny. No more suffering
@michaelaschlacher6271 Жыл бұрын
Dear Jenny, you are doing great. Don't be too hard on yourself, the children love you and know that not everything can happen quickly. Take your time and don't put any pressure on yourself. I send you a big hug
@Jinger17 8 ай бұрын
The video of her with her daughter is just heart-breaking. I have four kids, and cannot imagine being in this scenario.
@AndreaS-gm5ov Жыл бұрын
I’m grieving with you. I have an illness. I’m scared my kids won’t know how much I love them 😢
@sterlingmatsui154 Жыл бұрын
They know Their Mama's LOVE Andrea♡♡~Sending Big Hugs Tonight From Holly in Surprise, Arizona☆☆...
@ChicagoIL50 8 ай бұрын
❤ wow looking back on these... RIP JENNY🙏🏻🕊️
@maryannebarry9123 Жыл бұрын
Jenny please don’t be so hard on yourself. You have every right to grieve. If pain medicine helps you through your day, please take it. I am a 2 time cancer survivor and my kids were teens. It must be so hard when they are little. Chemo is exhausting. You are doing great. God Bless.
@BeBlessedToday Жыл бұрын
Don't be too hard on yourself. Things are different and you move a bit slower but you are still being an amazing molto your kids. Cancer is heartbreaking and grieving is part of living and loving. God has given us these deep loving feelings and He will give you strength even when you feel so weak. Day by day Jenny that is all a person can do. Well Done!
@debmary2999 Жыл бұрын
Wasaaayy too stubborn my gorgeous girl. Just say yes to the pain relief and housework help - that gives you time with the kids. Quilting is super special. Always here for you Jen, x Deb
@ourcorrectopinions6824 Жыл бұрын
I'm really proud of you for taking your pain medication too! I know it's not easy for you. 💌
@gailbarejka77 Жыл бұрын
Yes ! Please take your pain medication… pain in and of itself is exhausting… if you can lighten your pain level, you might feel less exhausted and able to do a little more, which will help you feel more positive about everything… blessings to you…🙏🏻❤️
@oceanluvngal Жыл бұрын
I am so glad you have decided to accept more help Jenny. I really believe when you find the right balance for you between alone time with the kids and time with help, the time you spend together will feel even more rewarding and less exhausting. To be a stay-at-home mom, doesn't mean you need to stay at home alone.
@annaclaire9927 8 ай бұрын
The sweetest lovely lady. Bless you Jenny ❤
@PaulaRenea Жыл бұрын
You're a fantastic mom!!!
@valerijohnson2839 Жыл бұрын
Have you considered that you may be pushing yourself too much to be the “perfect” mom. Have you considered a play group for Winnie during the day or a Mothers Day Out program near by so you can rest for a couple of hours everyday? I think both of you would benefit. Definitely enriching for Winnie. ❤❤❤❤
@michelle3830 Жыл бұрын
When I developed developed severe lung disease suddenly appearing at your age, I had to re-imagine everything I could do. I had to give up my nursing job that I loved and I did grieve for years. My husband couldn’t quit work ( I was in a wheelchair) my son was 4. So my mom helped a lot but why not pick your boy up Thursday & Thursday? Makes sandwiches instead of pasta for lunch. Just being there makes you super Mom the rest is just not important. My O.T, helped quite a bit. You go girl, you can do this be an at home Mom doesn’t have to mean you can’t do things differently.
@OscarsMama Жыл бұрын
Do you qualify for free home care? You should call social services and get the ball rolling on that. My neighbor had a volunteer come to her house to help with her 3 year old when she was battling stage 4 stomache cancer. By the way she survived! And you will to! Please look into this.
@portiabrown2913 Жыл бұрын
We're with you beautiful Jenny, feel our love, stay strong. XXX
@wendymichiko Жыл бұрын
Jenny, I sooo get it! We want our old functioning bodies back. I’m so proud of what you accomplished. Look at it as a trial run and you tweaking it along the way. My love, prayers and gentle hugs being sent your way. 💖🙏🏼
@paulafick4958 Жыл бұрын
💜 don't overdo it..your doing beautiful...if you fatigue too much you won't be able to do anything.🦋 Huggies.
@ornakenan5261 Жыл бұрын
Hi Jenni, Can you perhaps send the little one to nursery school for a few hours a day? At her age she would probably love the interaction with other kids. It will give you a few hours of rest which it seems like you still absolutely need! Hugs from LA
@annmarie8574 Жыл бұрын
I actually understand why Jenni wants to spend as much time with her daughter as she can. It would be more difficult to find energy to dress, drive and pick up her daughter plus going to dance. Jenny....one day at a time. You are doing a great job!
@weirdokelly2.048 Жыл бұрын
I feel everything you are saying and feeling ❤️ hugs 🤗
@loriann2514 Жыл бұрын
My dearest sweetest Jenny. Where does one begin to say how amazing, inspirational, encouraging and full of hope you are. I love you and your whole precious family. What a blessing all of you are. I think of you and your family everyday. Continuing to pray for complete recovery🙏🦋
@darleneermis4903 Жыл бұрын
Your doing a great job! Ask for help….I’m sure it makes your family happy to help and be with you ❤. One day at a time…..you got this!
@LindaK301 11 ай бұрын
@@darleneermis4903 1
@debradavis3935 Жыл бұрын
As someone with disabilities I can tell you that once your body loses its core strength and stamina it’s very difficult to rebuild it. I respect you so much for the commitment that you have to being a stay home mother in every way for your children. I do think you need to be more gentle with yourself, accept that you can’t do it alone, forgive yourself for not being able to meet your own expectations, and rely on every form of support you have including medication. I understand being stubborn, but do you have children that you want to care for and that means that you can’t be in pain constantly. If the pain medication works well for you, then you need to use it. I wouldn’t worry about becoming addicted, you seem like the kind of person that would be able to stop if she had to or wanted to. Lots of love to you Jenny… You and your family are always in my prayers. 💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻
@scota73 Жыл бұрын
Plus there is help if you do get addicted
@donnabaardsen5372 Жыл бұрын
It's not addiction that's the issue. Rather, if taken too often, they lose their strength over time. The body becomes immune. Any anesthesiologist, doctor and pharmacist will tell you that. That's why pain specialists are so important, their guidance. And using them cautiously for maximum benefits from them.
@BelleOfAmherst Жыл бұрын
@@donnabaardsen5372 Yes, it’s TOLERANCE that builds over time. That’s a horse of a different color. It’s unfortunate people suffer when Rxs exist with longer half lives; meaning, you do NOT need to take more & more. It’s not profitable though. SMH 🤦🏻♀️💜
@CathyAFarr Жыл бұрын
So very well said! I hope Jenny reads this.
@joycevillano755 Жыл бұрын
I have been taking heavy duty pain meds daily for 19 years next month, and have had no issues with them not working for dramatically lowering my pain levels. They are prescribed from my pain specialist doctor and take them to control my pain issues.
@ddajani45 8 ай бұрын
Rip angel ull be missed
@bettyheath9450 Жыл бұрын
Do you have any help at home? When my friend was going thru something similar to you....girlfriends (me included) just made up a roster to help with a bit of housework and doing the washing. Each person went for 3-4 hours each week.....with 6 friends it worked out to be once every 6 weeks. With Kyle back at work it would make things more managable for you.
@lynnsmith2648 Жыл бұрын
To do what you want you need pain control. Acceptance will possibly help you Something for depression may also help. You are going through a lot and doing great and being very brave Do whatever it takes to give you peace and the ability to spend quality time with your kids. That quilt is gorgeous Do what helps you spend quality time with your family because that is everything and you are so blessed to have them and I see they are your world. And obviously you are a great and wonderful special blessing to them and everyone lucky enough to know you. I remember raising my two boys they were my world so I understand. You are doing really well but you don’t deserve to feel like you are not doing enough you are doing everything you can possibly do with fatigue and pain and weakness 🙏 Dilaudid is a very strong narcotic perhaps something not as strong might help. I’m an RN so I can’t help but be a nurse. I hate to see people struggle and hurt. The key is to taking you pain medicine every is to take it every 4 to 6 hours that way your pain does not get out of control and you have a level in your bloodstream at all times. This may be how you could take something less potent than dilaudid Take care and I hope you feel better soon
@meshell1399 Жыл бұрын
Hi Jenny Maybe you should just relax more it doesn't make you less of a mother because your sick..we no you love your kids but you need to take care of yourself..just saying beautiful ❤️ You look a little tired and looking depressed.. you're doing fine just take it easy. everyone understands..your a good mother and no one can take that away... Big HUGS 🪴
@sandrabugler9813 Жыл бұрын
My grandaughter and I used to have pajama days. Seeing that it's raining and cold you deserve a pajama day. Take it as easy as you can. Any time spent with your kids they will remember.
@LorJuT Жыл бұрын
I tell my hubby all the times there’s no awards for not taking pain meds when necessary. Same for you. You are battling so much and pain doesn’t need to be one of them. You’re doing a great job and it’s ok to cry. It’s very scary and I feel you are being very brave. ♥️🙏
@thrillcker68 Жыл бұрын
Hugs everyone sick grieves the loss of their former self. I still get this after more than 30 years! One of the hardest things is to ask for help. Take your pain meds as soon as you need them it will prevent a whole lot of misery.
@kristinsiebert4504 Жыл бұрын
Jenny please be gentler on yourself. Going through cancer is hard enough, but adding mommy to that role is hard, really hard. Don’t worry about the house, cleaning, dishes it will all be there when you are able to get to them. I love to stay in my pajamas, it’s ok. You are a great mom, and right now you also have to consider your health. The kids love you so much and at the end of the day, YOU DID IT! As a cancer survivor who had children at home I get it, all of it. It is ok to have these feelings, I honestly think it is normal with cancer patients, we are here to listen. You take care my dear, one step at a time❣️
@lorifenner4467 Жыл бұрын
You are a awesome mom. Don't ever forget that.
@nicolel.1619 Жыл бұрын
Your kiddos will learn to be more independent and self sufficient. That’s not a bad thing! BTW, I love the light board. I’ll have to see if I can find one to buy.
@patriciabonarigo889 Жыл бұрын
You are a total champion. It hurts me to see you so tired, so concerned about doing a good job parenting. Honestly, you're doing a magnificent job with the kids. Just a thought: Have you considered day care for Winnie? She is such a social child that she might love being with other kids. Even if she went only a few times a week, it would give you a break, would help you rest and perhaps get some of your strength back. My 3 sons all went to day care and after school care as my husband and I both worked full time (I was a Chicago school teacher) and they still have fond memories of that time . Thinking of you daily with love and prayers. 💕
@MarilynMayaMendoza Жыл бұрын
Hi Jenny, I wish I could wave a wand and make cancer go away. Pain is so depressing. I have chronic pain from osteoarthritis and when I do too much, just every day stuff, the pain makes me depressed. Thank you for your openness and vulnerability. Take all the help you can get and when you need it take your medication. I’ll pray for you to have a wonderful day tomorrow with your children and free of pain. Much aloha
@joangaither3871 Жыл бұрын
I know you don't want to take narcotics but they're going to give you a better quality of life. Being in chronic pain and severe pain makes you just not want to do anything. You need to take it so that you were able to enjoy your life better.
@Nan-59 Жыл бұрын
I 💯 percent agree! I have chronic pain. I cannot function without it. I’ve been on it since about 2000. I sure hope she takes her medicine. I’m almost at the end of the video where she just said she took her pain meds and it really helped … because it really does help. ❤❤❤
@medickaisu Жыл бұрын
Hello Jen. I am not sure if your reluctance to use pain medications is due to a fear of addiction or not, but that is an issue for many people. There is a difference between addiction and dependence. You would not say a diabetic is addicted to insulin. He/she is dependent on it. Addicts take medications to get high. People who are dependent take medication to treat specific symptoms. An addict will take ever increasing amounts to reach that high. People who are dependent take the medications as prescribed. You are dependent on pain medications, but as the pain changes, so will your use. I understand the grieving for the loss of who you were and who you wanted to be. I was so naïve. I thought that after chemo, it would take me a month or so to get back to where I was. LOL. Cancer truly is a fork in the road. What has saved me is my profound gratitude. I am alive when so many are not. I have learned and grown, perhaps differently than without the cancer, but I am a better person now than before the cancer. This is a profound and multi dimensional journey you are on. I wish you all the best.
@missdaisy5736 Жыл бұрын
The weather is wet and gray which does not pick up spirits! Be proud of yourself because you are an amazing person❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@elizagrogan9454 Жыл бұрын
You've done so well, especially since you're battling a cold. Grieving the loss of your old life can't be easy. It's something we just don't expect to have to deal with. Being stubborn is not a bad thing. It just propelles us to not give up. Don't feel guilty for being physically weak right now. It's a dreary time of year.
@erikaraes8127 Жыл бұрын
Your doing great. Being a mother is exhausting for everyone. Remember your kids don’t always have to be doing something and they can play alone at times. Your amazing and give yourself a break
@Thebeach22 Жыл бұрын
I don’t have cancer sweet Jenny and don’t pretend to know what it’s like. But I understand your grieving. I was always active. Enjoying walking, cycling, swimming, raking leaves, shovelling snow, cutting grass (push lawn mower) and going to the gym in winter. Then I had a TIA and have had Fibromyalgia ever since. Hard pill to swallow. No more muscle strength, widespread pain and fatigue. I so wanted to do the things I used to do. It took a lot of time to accept. I’m older now and ask for help (though it was hard). But I still think of those pre fibro days. Life doesn’t always go the way we expected. But we make the best of it and enjoy it. Hugs from Canada.
@mary-anneroddy2083 Жыл бұрын
You are amazing. Remember, people take great joy in being able to help you. ❤
@traciebryant162 Жыл бұрын
🩵
@lizzijansen6527 Жыл бұрын
Take the pain meds as directed. Unless you start taking more than prescribed without your docs approval, it is extremely unlikely you will get addicted. Pain meds are useful. Please use them, and forget about becoming addicted. Hugs
@aliceschmid9697 Жыл бұрын
Be gentle and kind to yourself dearJenny.
@HumdrumCurio Жыл бұрын
Try not to be too hard on yourself. Adjusting to a new routine is rough, adding the uncertainty of chronic illness and chaos of young children (while lovely) doesn’t make it easier. Grief comes in waves and will hit you when you least expect it. ❤
@lmrharper3586 Жыл бұрын
I don’t understand why parents think they have to amuse their child every minute . If you were healthy enough you would be doing chores through the day . Give yourself a break Winnie needs to learn to play by herself sometimes. You are an amazing mother and I totally understand your need to spend every minute with the kids but take care of yourself too. Kids are super resilient ,they go with the flow, I think the crying is more damaging to Winnie than if you laid down and let Winnie play on the floor. Ask Dad for help , even a break to lay down for an hour would help. I wish I lived closer , I wish I was your relative and could help you every day. Being stubborn is to your detriment . yah your sister and Dad are gonna help ! The kids will be fine ,you are such good parents that you will get them through everything .
@barbkamesko3329 8 ай бұрын
I can’t believe she is gone. I m from another side of the world, never see her in person but i still think about her every day. She will never be forgotten. Rest in peace dear Jenny ❤.
@aSoldiersGirlieGirl 8 ай бұрын
Hey Applefords! I’m just rewatching Jenny’s vlogs. It’s been about a week or so since she passed. She’s always on my mind, but more so now. My heart just breaks for you, Kyle and the kiddos and your family and friends. Jenny is so loved by so many. I am a current stage IV metastatic breast cancer fighter and I’ve had a lot of similar side effects and things happen during my cancer journey so far. I was diagnosed a year and a half ago…just a bit more than that. I am also a wife and a mom to a n almost 13 year old daughter and leaving them prematurely is what scares me the most. I’ve found a lot of comfort in Jenny documenting and sharing her journey. A lot of times she seems to be in my brain because the things she says is exactly what I am feeling or struggling with. I too am a very hands on involved mom and it is so hard to have to allow others to help because sometimes my body just CANT do it despite me trying my hardest. I am just so sad that she’s no longer here. I am thankful that you’ve decided to keep your stories going. I’ve shown your channel to my husband. He’s very quiet and keeps his feelings to himself and I keep telling him to KZfaq husbands and caregivers of cancer patients. It really does help. I’d love for you to share a lot of your story too at some point. ❤❤❤❤
@mommamc5771 Жыл бұрын
You truly are amazing! Always on my heart and in my prayers 🙏🏼
@garybrunet6346 Жыл бұрын
I’m stubborn, as well, so I understand wanting to regain your independence. Use your resources. I had major back surgery. I learned the hard way to ask for help. If you delegate tasks, you’ll most likely, be able to spend more quality time with your loved ones. If you accept the help, it will, probably, help Kyle worry less. Get better and keep making wonderful memories!😊🇨🇦
@joanneantoniak7760 Жыл бұрын
Sending STRENGTH! You are absolutely incredible ❤️.
@Lesleymehnert Жыл бұрын
You’re doing great Jenny, you’re a great mum, you can’t help being sick, don’t feel guilty about things you can’t do, you will find your own routine that you can manage, ask for help. Take the pain killers when you need them. It’s early days of doing things on your own, take one day at a time and think of the good things you managed to do even the smallest ones. Sending you all lots of love and prayers xxx
@jgreer1999 Жыл бұрын
Thinking of you. Sending you healing thoughts. Big hugs.❤️
@brendamichel7486 Жыл бұрын
Jenny, you say the things that I am thinking in my own cancer journey. When I was diagnosed in April 2021, my mom gave me a little sign that says "It's okay to ask for help". I see it every day and it reminds me that is really is OK, because I'm TERRIBLE at asking for help! But we can't do this alone. Blessings to you and your beautiful family ❤
@bioshawna 8 ай бұрын
You sound like you have an amazing mom! That is so thoughtful 🥹
@Moopotsmum Жыл бұрын
Jenny you are doing a great job, you’re adjusting to this new life now Kyle is back at work, you knew you would struggle and it’s probably been a little harder than you expected which has made you feel really down, that’s understandable but like you say you did it 👍👏. Maybe if your dad could help one day and your sister another day then you will only be doing 3 days instead of 5, I have no idea how cancer pain/fatigue works so forgive me if this is no help but if you get complete rest for the 2 days your family help would you have more energy when you have Winnie the days after? It’s just a thought. I really feel for you and sending you love from the uk 🇬🇧
@wilmablacburn8412 Жыл бұрын
I love listening to how your day went...especially with the kids. Keep ahead of your pain with your pain pills if you can and you can still take care of the kids. You are such a lovely person and Prayers for tomorrow that you will feel stronger... I will be sitting here waiting to hear how your day went. Prayers for you sweet person.
@user-mu3xy3uk6f 8 ай бұрын
You our sooooloved and missed, BEAUTIFUL JENNY. ❤❤❤❤❤
@mariebaker8609 Жыл бұрын
When I was pregnant with my second child I had terrible morning sickness and I was pathetic!! I found it really hard coping with my 3 year old. You are coping with so much more and doing it all with such courage and grace. You are a lovely mum. X
@Coco-ny5wh 8 ай бұрын
Im so so sad this beautiful soul is gone. Her little girly winnie reminds me of my little one about to turn 4. They have similar facial expressions. How awful leaving her babies I can't imagine the pain she felt with that knowledge. I think as mum's that's are biggest fear, leaving them. I really hope she's somewhere divine and magical and there's something else for us all after life here ❤ Best best mummy, her kids will cherish these videos one day and they are a gift from they're mum to get the same sense of knowing her like so many people watching is powerful.
@LisaBlevins00 Жыл бұрын
Oh Jenny , Bless you . I wish Kyle could be with everyday . I made a donation to your original Go Fund Me , but would definitely donate to a “KYLE STAY AT HOME “ fund as well 😬 ❤
@pjk1714 Жыл бұрын
Jenny, you will make it happen. It's going to take time to regain strength. It's going to take help at times. You will find the balance. Recharge this weekend. ❤
@troopertaylor498 Жыл бұрын
My grandmother from Alabama made a gazillion quilts in her lifetime. I would watch her as she put up the quilting rack and started stitching. She would sit there all day and stitch quilts. I never picked it up. Too time consuming and frankly, boring. 😂. I’m so glad we have her quilts now. Reminds me everytime I use them! I wish I could send pics through this.
@createwithlinda5181 Жыл бұрын
You are doing great jen. Take it easy on yourself..❤️
@janetl9546 Жыл бұрын
Jenny, as a stage 4 cancer patient myself, I am with you. I totally understand your “stubbornness “when it comes to pain meds and trying to make sure I can still do what I used to be able to do. I have the same struggle too. My kids are older so I don’t need to be physically attentive. But the emotion is the same. You are an inspiration to me. Let us treasure the time we have with our kids.
@sheilahill6415 Жыл бұрын
Lots of love and prayers xxx
@jancallaway8498 Жыл бұрын
Jenny iteally dont kmow how u feel but u habe a wnderrul family i teally envy u that wishe i could have that god bless you
@sandienimocks8158 Жыл бұрын
Keep fighting Jenny! You are a warrior!
@kinser919 Жыл бұрын
You are an amazing mother.
@BelieverInChristJesus4ever Жыл бұрын
Beautiful quilt. 🌹 I hope you feel better soon. You got this & even if you don't, it's okay! It's okay not to be okay all the time 🙂 Remember that and always remember God loves you and he's always watching you.
@calliecooper99 Жыл бұрын
Praying for you Jenny ❤️🙏🏻
@standup2982 Жыл бұрын
Hi Jenny, I always watch your videos. I just wanted to say please never beat yourself up for what you can't do. Look at the things you are doing. You're incredible, you're making memories for your children. I don't have cancer but I became disabled three years ago and a few months ago I started needing carers at age 53. I'm a single Mum to five children. Three are older and have left home and two are minors and are home with me. My carers come in twice a day Mon - Fri and at the weekend my sons help out. They are registered Young Carers. During the week my carers do everything, they are wonderful women and I love and appreciate them so much and thank them everyday. It took some getting used to, in my head, needing carers at my age, but I am so grateful for them and now see them as friends. I too grieve my former life before disability. I miss walking my dogs. I'd take off for hours and walk miles and miles in the open countryside which surrounds me and now I struggle just getting up off the sofa. I understand that loss. You are doing so well, I'm so proud of you, we all are. Please don't hesitate to ask for help, there is no shame in it. Do the school run every other day maybe? And take your pain meds woman! 😉 Seriously though, they're there for a reason so don't feel guilty if you need them sweetheart 💕 Much love to you and your family 💜
@kisslena Жыл бұрын
Glorious Quilts!💛Stay strong definitely recruit family to come through to engage with Winne so you can take a real one hour nap . Also sign Winne up for daycare twice a week. If will give her a structured busy day of activity and give you 2 days out of the week to rest and recharge.
@janicewolk6492 Жыл бұрын
Advise from someone who is not sick is maybe not helpful, but if it were a neighbor or relative in your position you wouldn't question that person's need for help. You deserve as much. God bless
@fevertree1957 Жыл бұрын
You WILL occasionally need help Jenny - your doing great and doing more than most. But the best help you can give YOURSELF....take the pain medication & dont let the pain drain you down. Your a wonderful mamma xx
@pamelabrucker1326 Жыл бұрын
OMG girl! I think we all grieve our former life. We have that in common. It has helped me to meditate with a friend who is Buddhist. Some of the Buddhist philosophy has helped me to breathe and just experience this new reality. Be kind to yourself.
@ellegaitor2887 Жыл бұрын
Sending you all my love. People tend to focus on the physical aspects of illness don’t they like meds side effects and symptoms of the illness and they forget how it affects us mentally with depression anxiety and guilt (even though we shouldn’t we do feel it) and we grieve ourselves and our bodies and lives being different. The mental health side of illness is exhausting in itself without the physical effects too x
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