Guys Have a Hard Time Not THINKING ABOUT YOU When You Tell Him This

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2 жыл бұрын

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Get Him To Commit Before Sleeping Together (The Dating Vow)
Have you ever heard the saying: Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and men are the gatekeepers of commitment?
The "Dating VOW" Before Sleeping Together
I ___________________ agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious in the next 3 to 6 months.
I ___________________ agree to be monogamous sexual while we have regular sex together
I ___________________ agree to not actively seek to meet/date others while we are in this dating process (include taking down dating profile)
I ___________________ agree to speak up if this isn't working for me vs. pulling back, ghosting or disappearing
I __________________ agree to invest regular time in this process of getting to know you which looks like this ______________
90% of men will bail on this because thousands of women will have sex without any commitment/agreement whatsoever. If all women are banned together (going forward), this will change how men treat/view sex, but in the meantime, if he does agree, you have a better chance of commitment than without it.

Пікірлер: 1 500

@JonathonAslay 2 жыл бұрын

FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching

@skg9644 2 жыл бұрын

Can you please clarify if anyone has been eligible for a free call that didn’t tick the boxes to say they have $450 for a one off session or were able to gather $3000 toward therapy? As after filling in the questionnaire it was deemed by one of your team a call wouldn’t benefit me at this time. I totally get that. In the name of radical honesty I think the tag is a little misleading.

@alicejones2972 2 жыл бұрын

I am an older woman. Look younger then my age .and am very well....I have made friends,with a msn on line ,and it has beveloled into our feelings afevery strong with tach other. My problem is,:I was married for 62 yrs to one mad ,he passed. And now I livexwith my Daughter and husband . They say that,ever nsn in line is,a zcsmmer. .tbis man us mot . He us a General in ,the, army. And will retire soon. And they have en Ven put parental control on my phone ,so I can not talk to him. And I am very unhappy now.

@charwest9449 2 жыл бұрын

@@alicejones2972 Hmmm, he may very well be a scammer. They're always good looking and in uniform or oil men or spies or something heroic, large, and in charge. However, your kids shouldn't be treating you like a child. You can talk to him. Tell them that you will not send him any money. Just don't send him any money, for ANY reason. NOT ONE DOLLAR. NO MATTER WHAT EXCUSE HE COMES UP WITH. If he asks for money from you, even one dollar, dump him.

@kimgordon3695 2 жыл бұрын

I'm happy for you 2. We are all just children walking each other home. Kindness is radical 💞 #Jonathon

@kimgordon3695 2 жыл бұрын

@@alicejones2972 call the Carrier. you are not the child. that is unlawful.

@deanmeyer68 10 ай бұрын

Save yourself 20 minutes. The answer to the title is in minute 14. The sentence is “I like you.”

@mekylieme 3 ай бұрын

Thanks, but some of us want the 20 minutes of the "why" this sentence is :)

@Steve-qx7hw 2 ай бұрын

Thank you legend 😂

@dianawalko4142 2 ай бұрын

Thought about your comment summary and that made me laugh and ... I liked you lol Happy day !

@sgayle6689 Ай бұрын

Thank you Dean 🪴

@tvz2255 25 күн бұрын

Ya i kept fast forwarding honestly waitimg for the references to the answer of the title

@candysmith8724 2 жыл бұрын

My boyfriend revealed to me recently that he fell in love with me on our first date. This was 5 years ago. I don't think he fell in love with me, he was fascinated and attracted sure, but love...that takes much longer in my opinion even though we talked in depth for weeks prior to meeting in person. On a side note: My first husband was very successful and a high earner, I left him due to infidelity. I married exactly what my parent's raised me to marry, it did not work out regardless of how much money he made. A man with wealth is not all what it's cracked up to be. I'd much rather have a man who has depth and a true connection like I have now.

@sfoster4874 2 жыл бұрын

I totally agree with your assessment all the way around. Very successful high earners often believe money is the great equalizer -- but it's not. So glad to hear you have found the happiness you and your special someone deserve, and congratulations for not settling. Infidelity is the MAXIMUM DEAL BREAKER! You are blessed with common sense and a great chance at happiness : )

@blueseptember2174 2 жыл бұрын

I married a poor man who was all about me. 15 years later he cheated. So it's all chance. They have to keep choosing you everyday and we don't get to control that.

@roxiew9865 2 жыл бұрын

@@blueseptember2174 truth!

@lisacranmer8005 2 жыл бұрын

@@blueseptember2174 Sorry....your Right...you never know what the TRUE person is, till after the wedding, what happens in the dark will come out to the light no one can mock Jeh God, if they loved God and follow his direccion, we would have peace..

@kimgordon3695 2 жыл бұрын

limmerence is first.

@YukonFox1972 2 жыл бұрын

This is a HUGE issue in relationships now. Too many men admit to not actually liking women-instead, they think of women as providers of sex and as servants (cooking, cleaning). It’s no wonder that less people are dating anymore, never mind getting married. The best romantic relationships are between couples who are best friends AND lovers.

@blueseptember2174 2 жыл бұрын

This 100 percent

@lisacranmer8005 2 жыл бұрын

Yes, I will never be USED again .

@deborahdominguez5221 2 жыл бұрын

So agree!! Men have taught me that I don't really "need" them...I can and have been making it on my own even when I was in a relationship...my ex narcissist only wanted me around for cleaning, cooking, taking care of his yard and his house...he had rages, lied, silent treatment, gaslighting, a master manipulator...so, men have taught me, I don't need ya!!! I would rather be by myself...

@flamingpieherman9822 Жыл бұрын

It's hard for me to be both a friend and a lover. If I have friendship with a man I usually never will have feelings for him other than friendship

@jackiewilliams-sp1lb Жыл бұрын

Hi we need too stop the blame game it starts with your environment father and mother were their love at home communication teaching so if no you had too fine love in all the wrong people maybe their were hunt in those individual you really can not determine any individual only God knows our pain and circumstances in life just be integrity about any situation respect yourself stop finding a solution in SEX Jackson Mississippi Love ✌

@user-kw5dq6pq3g 11 ай бұрын

I lost myself recently trying to make a relationship work. It made all my stuff scream! I finally pulled out as I was tired of crying and being sad ALL THE TIME! My heart is now free to get on with my life!

@user-gr4rc6iv9k 4 күн бұрын

@@user-kw5dq6pq3g i did the very same in alone now working on my self my home just take my self time

@TheAttractionTriggers 10 ай бұрын

*It's incredible how a few well-chosen words can linger in someone's mind. Let's remember the impact our words can have and use them to strengthen connections.*

@tamitatangoto5134 10 ай бұрын

IT TAKES A WOMAN FOR A MAN TO CONNECT TO HIS HEART ❤

@chopsieflores4844 Жыл бұрын

I stopped dating seven years ago. Never happier in my life. You are correct: Most of us are dysfunctional.

@tereseday4060 Жыл бұрын

9 here, still happy!

@kllyc6327 Жыл бұрын

14 years. Lol!!!

@milkyyp0p 10 ай бұрын

its been a little over a year for me. i've never felt this free before!

@tobeapearl 10 ай бұрын

I vowed to stop dating last February and it was the best decision I have made for myself in a long time. I hope I’m saying that I’m happy like you after 7! 🙌🏼

@deniseelsworth7816 10 ай бұрын

Ten. 😊

@AmandaBabyyyyy 2 жыл бұрын

It took me years of trying to be the “perfect woman” and STILL getting my heart broken before I realized that our quirks, neuroses, imperfections, etc are the things that make us endearing to the right person. You can’t fall in love with a perfect human bc 1) they don’t exist, and 2) perfection isn’t relatable. Our insecurities, our frailty, our neediness will be the thing that the right someone finds precious about us. It’s also important to remember that “no matter how attractive or wealthy a person is, someone, somewhere, is sick of their shit” 😂

@SaystheTruth3 2 жыл бұрын

Yess the last part ! 👍🤣🤣

@karenwilliams2068 2 жыл бұрын

I did too I tell people I'm not perfect and to look at seeing that...get used to it!

@karenwilliams2068 2 жыл бұрын

Yes exactly..all ..of us want the like validation..

@karenwilliams2068 2 жыл бұрын

Love it great summary ho connect!

@lindseyfisher1400 2 жыл бұрын

You know...someone I dated, in the past, and I had a conversation recently and he told me the same thing. I didn't let my whole personality out and had my walls up. It made it hard for people to get to know me and for me to be open. The same thing just ended my most recent relationship.

@lisawheelberg6306 11 ай бұрын

This is resonating with me! I met my former boyfriend in a book store looking for a new copy of Seat of the Soul. My copy was destroyed in a my home when my ex husband burned our house down. I dated that man for 3 years, he helped me heal from the pain of divorce. We broke up amicably. And I met my true soul mate after The break up and I couldn't have loved my Soul mate unless my prior boyfriend taught me to love myself again ❤

@caribbeanparadise1315 3 күн бұрын

@@lisawheelberg6306 maybe he was the blessing sent into your life for that purpose

@debraannedimezza8075 10 ай бұрын

My adult problem is especially after 45. I need to find someone who loves me as much as I love myself.

@angelajohnson3990 4 ай бұрын

I felt this in my soul. I’ve done the work, healed my traumas and I genuinely love myself. I didn’t do all that work to allow someone into my life who doesn’t love me the way I love me ❤

@triciarubingh3154 2 жыл бұрын

So glad I listened to this! I was married for 22 1/2 years and my husband and I were on the same page the moment we met (in person-we were pen pals 😊) He died unexpectedly 16 months ago. I ventured out in the dating world and wow, things are different. I have now met a guy that I really like and has brought the smile back to my face (my daughter has noticed it and so have friends). He even asked me “Have you ever felt such a strong connection?” I asked him if he wanted the truth (he said yes) and I responded “Yes I have, once. And I married him.” Well he didn’t run away. I want to feed the relationship but not throw the buffet at it 🤣🤣 So I appreciate your openness and great words of advice.

@sarahhunter8997 Жыл бұрын

Proceed with caution because narcissistic people use that line a lot. Go slowly.

@bananabanana9210 11 ай бұрын

Sounds like u r giving breadcrumbs to make him hungry for you. Red flag!

@millyv8787 10 ай бұрын

@@sarahhunter8997 yeah, they usually love bomb hard in the beginning.

@judithgange7750 8 ай бұрын

Go slow Enjoy build trust communicate enjoy build a spiritual bond May Gid bless you. 🙏🏼❤️

@ailinchang6654 2 жыл бұрын

This was eerily calculated… it was exactly what I needed to hear today. This video came exactly the moment after I received a final farewell from a guy I’ve invested for 9 month. I was sincerely being vulnerable and expressing how I felt because I really cared but knowing the connection was not mutual I decided to say my last words and wish him well. Expressing it was for my own benefit to get closure.

@myrnasharif499 2 жыл бұрын

thanks, i enjoy joining , but i' m done. i had enough!!

@tarawalsh7045 Жыл бұрын

Good for you. I know how hard that was but you know your own value. You did right. Bless you.

@hipnhappenin 6 ай бұрын

It's very freeing, isn't it? That moment you decide you're done giving to someone without getting anything in return?

@mosaicsanctuary3 4 ай бұрын

Wow, that takes courage. I wish I had done the same. So much I should have said but was afraid to. Well done ❤

@annealcantara6952 3 ай бұрын

Do you mind if I ask you the turning point into knowing when it was the perfect time to let him go?

@cindyparish9657 Жыл бұрын

Yes! Fear of Abandonment has affected all of my relationships since I was 8 yrs old (54 yrs)

@jenm8550 9 ай бұрын

Me too.

@burlsink31 5 ай бұрын

I am in agreement totally! Don't want to be, but I live in fear of abandment with any relationship!

@jen7834 4 ай бұрын

Me too!

@michellemitchell5005 4 ай бұрын

Me also 😊

@zinajohnson3565 4 ай бұрын

Me too. You're not along. Thanks for sharing. ❤

@lsp1950 Жыл бұрын

Absolutely, you have told the truth about relationships and childhood trauma. I spent 24 years in therapy (off and on) and at 72, this is the first time in my life where I feel I can be just the person I like and feel free to be “me”!

@mikibeardslee829 11 ай бұрын

Congrats! Better late than never. Why to go! Just be you. You are enough & worthy of what's best and whatever works for you. And the cool part is that it's also ok to just do it all your own ways. With an open mind, heart & spirit, I send you positive, healthy, happy vibes! Celibrating your authenticity with you🎉

@carolrpg 11 ай бұрын

Hi @lsp1950 I am older than you and just lately realized a childhood trauma that kept creeping into my head and I kept pushing away - I realized it had to do with my feelings towards my father (who sadly is gone so I hope he understands now) and that it was about his not protecting me - and possibly blaming him blaming me (partly), for something that happened to me, when I was preschool - which I can see now that it was because of his father's treatment probably towards his family...generational sins is what I am calling it - time to change that!! My friend, I shared this with recently, because I felt that he restored my trust in the opposite sex, by being kind and sticking up for me - (and he kissed my in the cloak room in Gr. 4) and led me to have a liking for boys - he is a kind and a loyal life time friend - yes, that I like very much! (too complicated to explain here)Thanks for your sharing...

@melcarter6422 11 ай бұрын

“When Harry Met Sally” is my favorite movie. I once fell in love with a “high maintenance” man. To me, it’s not really high maintenance. It’s the things that make him feel good and secure. Lots of interaction (quality time/quantity time) and yes, that unpacking. It’s his empathy, deep thinking, wicked wit, corny dry humor, creativity, and natural curiosity make him not only him, It makes him incredibly attractive, even when he exasperatingly argues a point (and he is wrong), even when he’s being Eyeore-ish. He’s a beautiful person. He’s a big TeddyBear. Hoping he feels love and peace in his current LD relationship. Those things meant for you, find you. It all works out.

@LisaGemini 10 ай бұрын

What a good relationship needs: 1. A strong connection early on...an affinity for each other, like you've known this person a long time. 2. Intentionality from both people. Use radical honesty when you explain what you want, your past experiences and deficiencies. Be authentic, vulnerable and transparent. 3. Be introspective, do personal development work. Know yourself. 4. Genuinely like someone as a person and TELL them "I like you." Don't be afraid to communicate with each other. As usual, Jonathon, this is all amazing advice! God bless you. Hugs to all who are looking for a life partner, I pray you find what you need.

@JonathonAslay 10 ай бұрын

Thanks...

@suzanaandrade2125 2 жыл бұрын

Funny I said this to my bf last night. We were talking about some dislikes in relationship and I said "even if this relationship sometimes make me feel not so happy, I really like you. A lot! And you know its more than the word "like". I think its important to let the other person to know that even if things are not always good in relationship, that doesn't change how you feel about them. Its important to speak about things but never make the other person feels like they suck. Thank you Jonathon 🙏

@janetroy4469 Жыл бұрын

The book "Attached" was the catalyst to understanding myself and set me off on a journey to self-discovery. Many reads followed , unveiling layers of trauma, and how to heal from them. Definitly recommend this book to begin understanding your roots.

@louiseclark7967 Жыл бұрын

Hi Jonathon...I've got one for you. My guy is Autistic, and went through a very difficult childhood. He thanked me once for seeing him in a way he can't see himself, because all I see is his genius and creativity, his sense of humor, spirituality, and responsibility. He is amazing. Love your videos!

@deniseelsworth7816 10 ай бұрын

I hope my nephew finds someone like you. He has asbergers I would love him to find someone genuine.

@louiseclark7967 10 ай бұрын

@@deniseelsworth7816 I have a nephew with Asbergers too...he is such a sweet man and so intelligent and funny... I wish the same for him ❤

@JustCammie 9 ай бұрын

I was seeing a guy with autism for a while and I definitely appreciated his uniqueness and the way he viewed the world. I miss him but he has other issues he needs to address.

@carolcarolyn8928 4 ай бұрын

Beautiful heart you have.

@eilamariesartre8823 Жыл бұрын

When you "raise yourself" or experience inconsistent love/affection/acceptance you end up in the anxious v avoidant, fearful avoidant or become jaded dismissing and pushing people away or sabotage connections. We have to relate to ourselves, accept ourselves and grow into the relationship we've dreamed of... with ourselves! It's the best and most fulfilling relationship you will have and LASTs a True Lifetime!

@biondna7984 2 жыл бұрын

This is resonating, yes. The remorse goes on and on. My mother was alcoholic; I became alcoholic. I loved and stonewalled my two sons as she did me. I quit drinking 19.5 years ago. We've talked about it; I've acknowledged and asked forgiveness for the hurt I caused them. They both seem to forgive me, even while I know they still struggle to believe women will love them and stay with them. It breaks my heart. They are so worthy and sweet.

@box2bliss927 Жыл бұрын

Takes a big person to admit that. I hope your sons understand that doing exactly what you did you are breaking the cycle. Good for you. All the best to you.

@joiluckadoo-villa9601 2 жыл бұрын

Definitely resonates with me! 30 year marriage just ended after he had multiple affairs, making me feel undesirable, unworthy, and unloved. My new relationship has already had these issues show. I was fast to react to any tiny change, getting attached way too fast and hard, and being very insecure. Luckily, he is great at de-escalating me when I get crazy.

@deec411 5 ай бұрын

When you love yourself, you radiate love and it makes you very attractive. I did Aaron Doughty's "Most Powerful Meditation" to clear out past emotional traumas and feel such immense joy. I would think of one painful memory work on that and then the next day work on another one and now I feel so free. Wishing you all health and healing ❤❤❤❤

@janetswain2354 11 ай бұрын

This is genuinely resonating with me. Was in an almost 4 year relationship where mental abuse was the norm and that will take away all you sense of worthiness and self love. But now am in extremely early stage of getting to know someone else and am having to relearn the art of self love. Certainly not very easy to do but certainly know I must do it

@katelanxner278 2 жыл бұрын

This episode, at least the first 15 minutes should be shown to high school classes and in wellness college classes! This stuff needs to be taught since most are not getting this training at home! It sets your teaching apart from the other coaches and vlogs. I like you, Jonathan! And if you read the other comments you can see a lot of other people do too.

@artandculture5262 Жыл бұрын

If you believe schools are to help successful lives you are in a dream land.

@gracevicki3983 Жыл бұрын

Agreed! It's real talk ...

@Yarnover_PullThrough 11 ай бұрын

Attached is a great book. I listen to the audio book when I feel anxious. It helps me to calm down and remember what I am feeling the way I am.

@JonathonAslay 11 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing!!

@shanncarr9276 2 жыл бұрын

Good morning Jonathon.. Thank You for being so open and honest. You really put your real life to show others the process of the actual feeling we all are feeling , but are too afraid to open up and verbalizing it. Thank you for being so transparent and allowing people that there are second chances in life. Sometimes we have to kiss a few frogs to get our prince.

@myschoolvillage7373 Жыл бұрын

Everything you say resonates with me. Everything I once stood for was demolished by people who told me I was insecure or needy, so I adjusted. Big mistake. After watching a few of your posts. I now realize that I can be the loveable caring me. And its okay to have anxieties. Thank you kind Sir! Hugs!

@JonathonAslay Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing!!

@MommaARA 11 ай бұрын

I do understand myself and that is why I stayed alone for 7 years after having an unhealthy relationship with a childhood friend. Not marrying after the kids dad died was for them not for me. This person I let be an exception because of our history, I allowed it to blind me. After, I realized that having standards just pushes people away from me and I needed to accept it and get on with myself even if it meant alone. Being alone is just as hard for me since I've been alone most of my life and not by choice. Now this wonderful person happens to me and both our fears have bubbled up when we have become vulnerable. For the most part we have helped each other gracefully. Other times we have stumbled or been impatient or just not knowledgeable. We are learning.

@squeaky1374 Жыл бұрын

I now know why my marriage fell apart. Not only did I fall out of love, I fell out of like. Thank you for these words, they were VERY valuable….

@JK-em4ok 11 ай бұрын

Yeah I love all humans. But I don’t like them all.

@dmxm6763 Жыл бұрын

If only I could find someone who is as aware as what you are describing. I couldn’t have described it all any better. I am in search of someone who is continually seeking to raise their consciousness. High vibration through intention and what I call “living life on purpose”. This is where the intention comes in. A solid relationship embodies all of this and so much more. Finding someone who thinks on such a deep level is not an easy feat. Sending light and love to all 💫

@michifornow 10 ай бұрын

This was a lovely video and resonated deeply. I was a fearful avoidant for most of my adult life until I turned inward for three years and did the deep inner work to heal. I watch a LOT of videos on these topics - personal development, relationships, attachment, etc. Yours stands out for your positive, warm energy and uplifting vibe. It’s very soothing to the viewer, who is probably coming across your video in moments of fear or uncertainty. Keep doing what you’re doing. I’m hitting the subscribe button 😊

@lourdessebastian9356 10 ай бұрын

That's really true, loving ourselves is the most important thing to do and in turn, people around us will love us in return even your man.

@tinathorntonrealtor5489 8 ай бұрын

This is right on the money! If we don’t love ourselves; don’t know who we are as a person, we find ourselves desperate to be loved. When a woman knows what she’s about, she’s confident and is attractive to males and females. No more neediness!

@ellavan6317 Жыл бұрын

I'm sorry that happened to you as a child Jonathan. My parents divorced when I was 11. I lived with my mom and she might lock herself in her room all weekend. I would try to bring her something to eat and ask if she was okay and what I did wrong, but she would be cocoons into her blankets and not respond. I always felt like it was my fault up until recently.

@thetravelgoods2760 10 ай бұрын

My mom used to hide away in her room too.. not behind a divorce but just hiding i have no idea why. I felt like I raised myself to an extent and I’ve always been the one to resolve things for myself and my brother! Now that we are adults and I have a better relationship with her she gets upset that I don’t come and talk to her about things! I had to explain to her that she taught me to figure it out because I was too afraid of her to knock on her door and talk to her as a kid so I’m trying to work out those behaviors!

@Mellmouse1 10 ай бұрын

So tough 😔 I wonder how many of the moms people are mentioning in the comments suffered from depression with little to no help at the time.

@pamelalanenaanderson 8 ай бұрын

@@Mellmouse1 yes, post partum and beyond before it was known or talked about...

@Kim-pf7to 2 жыл бұрын

Hi Jonathon, so glad I listened to you today! Your explanation of your mother's stonewalling is what I experienced with my mother. It took a lot of inner work to learn to love myself no matter what anyone else thinks. On another note I have met someone whom I am very attracted to on an emotional and physical level. We are so opposite...like uptown met back woods but, he is such a genuine, caring, thoughtful individual. At this point we are friends and time and communication will tell. You are a gem Jonathon, thank you!

@laurincoburn8044 Жыл бұрын

Your awesome Jonathan, this really resonated with me!! I am trying to build a relationship with a man I have known for 25 years but just a few months ago we reconnected! The problem is this is a long distance relationship which comes with its own set of problems! I really want this to work...but am needing to know he wants us to work as much as I do! I sent him your podcast today! 💜

@wendywoodland8598 2 жыл бұрын

I appreciate you so very much. Your are so open & transparent. I love that you share your personal experiences with us. That is what makes your posts so rare in content. Much needed and embraced by me! TY for being vulnerable with us. This post specifically was needed to be heard by me this AM! Thank you! ❤️

@JonathonAslay 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!

@Reborn_Enthusist 2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay she's right. You rock. Just found your channel this morning.

@lesleymottram3937 2 жыл бұрын

Communication is key..really appreciate your honesty, and openess...now I will talk like that..no bottling up, no games..

@mariasvensson4558 Жыл бұрын

Really liked how you finished with such a clear prayer of need, intention and gratitude. It is easy for people to become bitter or despairing. So helping others to check in with their desires and to express them so well resets their minds perspective in a positive and uplifting way. Their vibe and attitude will change. They become a conduit for God's pure, healing love. 💓

@beautifulinfinity 9 ай бұрын

This made my day. This video also made me worry that perhaps in this time and age, men my age are no longer truly themselves because they don’t have the patience to know who they are, and are not serious enough to want something meaningful and longterm. With the end of each relationship, we lose so much of ourselves, that going forward we have nothing left to give anymore. It feels a bit hopeless to me to hope anymore that I ll find a lifelong companion. Thank you for this video tho, Jon. This was a sliver of hope.

@ericalockwood1607 2 жыл бұрын

This was so sincere, honest and heartfelt. Thank you!

@JonathonAslay 2 жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it!

@vickiklingebiel7349 Жыл бұрын

He was scared he had relationship issues he didn't think he was good enough he was a very kind-hearted man he was just not confident

@sagedakotalmft7763 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your vulnerability, Jonathon. Yes, we continue to be impacted by our early/first (family) relationships, and past heartbreaks. I can relate to what you are saying. And there's nothing neurotic about processing things! I remember telling my last guy I loved him, but I can't remember if I told him I liked him! And I REALLY liked him! He was my best friend. I hope he knows/knew I liked him. Thank you for your prayers!

@JonathonAslay Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome

@AChicagoWoman Жыл бұрын

Johnathan. This is resonating with me. Sometimes I feel you’re telling my inner life story. Straightforward and concise. That’s why I tune in time after time.

@ritafrahm4318 2 жыл бұрын

Your humility in being openly honest is so helpful and relatable

@priscapeyala4166 2 жыл бұрын

This is resonating with what am going through now.Thank you for being honest and sharing with us.I pray it works out .I am still keeping the faith

@JonathonAslay 2 жыл бұрын

Best of luck!

@victorialewandowski Жыл бұрын

To have never felt loved,I just can't keep trying to find love to be disappointed anymore I give up.,😢

@Taurusbabe9999 Жыл бұрын

All good advise…And I really appreciated the last part about as you and your partner were having a conflict conversation, that you stopped and asked to share a couple of gratitudes about one another. Loved this! And the prayer was so fitting! Thank you! 😊

@user-tx4lj2ut4i 8 ай бұрын

Thank you Jonathon. You are adorable and so authentic! After my husband of 30 years died and my significant other of 6 years died, I just thought I would never be with anyone. Love continues, love permeates, and wants to filter into other lives. Now I am dating another man and being just who I am If we could learn to love ourselves, we can love at any age and keep on connecting. Relationships is what it's all about! Thank you for your honestly and loving heart. Diane

@charlieh1419 Жыл бұрын

You definitely speak the truth. You are so real, raw, and sweet. Thank you. I'm grateful for you, and the time you take to help others❤

@solomonswish1 2 жыл бұрын

The truth you share is so appreciated, Jonathan. May your messages and prayers reach His throne. Blessings to you and your beloved. 🙏🏼🤍

@MsRandieK Жыл бұрын

So resonates with me …. I don’t have time to change myself for anyone (I’m 71) after illness & a horrific breakup I’ve healed & ventured into dating (15 years) I have a strong connection & I really LIKE this Man … he got me when he cried telling me about the best thing his father ever told him! I’m enjoying our friendship & being vulnerable about my insecurities about my mastectomy & how it has prohibited me from going forward. Not an issue for him 😊…. Although we will be long distance communicating for awhile … I can tell our relationship is growing from our conversations & sharing everything… I’m glad we have this time away to just TALK . Although I miss those blue eyes in the morning :) Thanks Jonathon 🤗

@LibraLove1717-us8qp 2 жыл бұрын

New follower here. I wish I'd met you 30 years ago. I've been through a few failed relationships in my 62 years of life and I could've used this advice. I probably would've made better choices. In 2019, I divorced after nearly 33 years from a very selfish, controlling and manipulative man who I could never please and who was also a "man of the cloth!!!" I didn't like him at all. He was a true narcissist but it took me years to realize what I was dealing with. I did a lot of research about my situation 19 years into the marriage and haven't stopped til this day.

@Redfox-1984 2 жыл бұрын

Great commentary. I think its very challenging to meet others who have done the self love work at our age. With that said, we all have insecurities no matter how much work we've done. Its the ability to trust in ourselves no matter what the result. Thanks for being vulnerable with your audience.

@beverlyford4592 Жыл бұрын

This definitely resonates with me. I can appreciate the transparency. You confirmed that this transition to my wholeness, after leaving a toxic relation. I want to operate by the emotional side, but my thoughts and feelings have not been congruent with my perspective partner. I love me and would like to appreciated by someone, who feels equally about me! Thanks for speaking my mind.

@notestomyyoungerself5843 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for making this point! It's refreshing to not play poker or polarity games, but to build trust and comfort with emotional intimacy, being known, being seen, being understood!

@gabriellazordan 2 жыл бұрын

Good morning and Happy Sunday dear Jonathon . I appreciate this video . Absolutely we need to start with a friendship all the time to build trust . We all got insecurities we don’t know who is the person whom we want to date . You got a gorgeous GF and wish you a Blessed Sunday and have a fabulous Sunday .. From my life experience men are the eternal child . We women are the caring affectionate mothers who will nurture the child inside of him. . I love that movie “ When Harry meets Sally “ when they pulled out the emotions out of them . I like classical men since I am a classical woman . I love the couple Ronald Reagan and Nancy . May God bless you . Hugs from Milan 🙏

@SA733 Жыл бұрын

Jonathon you have described what I've wanted all my life, someone to love me just as I am not what or how they want me to be. This video has really touched me to my core, particularly the prayer. Thank you so much. 😊🇬🇧

@lizzereign 10 ай бұрын

❤

@michelecapriotti4412 2 жыл бұрын

I’m genuinely so happy your channel has grown so much. Yayyy. You give me hope that good people get ahead

@nvrserious80able Жыл бұрын

Wow...I know I'm tired, but I swear you described something I do that was also done to me in a different way and ...picture this... a race car speeding 125mph...comes to a screeching stop, no damage, only your face and your words. Spoke directly to me. Thank you.

@jessicasinclair323 9 ай бұрын

Best relationship guidance channel for people in general of both sexes of any age. But especially for 50 plus. Currently getting to know someone platonically as we have a good spiritual & sincere connection after I accosted them telling them I liked them because they have good countenance. 😂 No phones or tech but face to face. So much better. Yes this definitely resonates with me! Thank you

@sfoster4874 2 жыл бұрын

Yes Jonathon, this resonates with me for sure! Inner child work is SO HELPFUL in ways I cannot even articulate, but once I connect with my inner child and hear her out, it's AMAZING the gravity and relevance of what she communicates. I may not be clear before I check in with my inner child, but when I listen to hear, she clarifies everything instantly. The result is a lot like team-working with yourself. And it's SO truly HEALING : ) and self-solidifying too. It's a wonderful way to become "whole" and complete by yourself. I agree with you that falling in love REALLY exaggerates the sore spots of any unresolved emotions. Three cheers for being authentic! I am seeing a softening developing in you. This relationship seems promising! And I also agree you cannot say or do the wrong thing with the right person. : )

@donnalee7322 2 жыл бұрын

Like it,? I loved it. I listen to you from time to time. I got out of a Narcissistic relationship a year ago. I am so happy and peaceful now and so glad for u-tube cause there are so many therapeutic coaches that have helped me immensely. I respect you so much. I am 57 years old and learning all over again on how to have a healthy relationship. Kudos to you Jonathan. Thanks for your uplifting videos 🥰 so glad I found your platform. So nice to hear you both are happy. She is very fortunate to have you. Amen to your prayers 😇🙏. Blessings

@StephanieBramham Жыл бұрын

I totally appreciate your feelings when you talk about having lived with the inconsistencies of a somewhat nurturing mother's love and then the sudden and unexplained twist in behavior In which the silent treatment prevails. When this shows up it literally renders you(the small child) so emotionally unequipped to handle the overwhelmingly sad feeling of being invisible to your own mother. l have spent my entire adult life attempting to develop the skills to heal hose lasting impressions. It has been a bitter sweet handicap, if you will, in most all of my interpersonal relationships. I must say, however, thatt I recognize and am truly grateful for the opportunity it has presented for me to become a person with great resilience and strength of character. I have been gifted with a compassionate and empathetic human nature. I feel blessed I came across your dialog on YOU Tube and hope we might one day have a conversation. Thank you Stephanie B.

@Leeohlin89 2 жыл бұрын

I always appreciate your videos. And I love coming here because of your wonderful book recommendations! So happy I found your channel. 🙏🏼

@pearlluber5849 Жыл бұрын

Thank you. I really appreciated this talk. From my own experience, childhood trauma can even come before one is born. My father was very sick before I was conceived and died when I was a few months old. I finally figured out that I had absorbed a lot of fear and grief. I do believe that this may have contributed to not choosing men wisely in the past. Hopefully, I am now armed with knowledge.

@tamerafrank4645 Жыл бұрын

Def resonates with me. It helps that you share your own feelings about yourself and your relationship

@Redsherry 2 жыл бұрын

Jonathon. Thank you for recommending being yourself rather than tips or tricks. Because that’s where real genuine connection occurs. We all want to be liked and loved for ourselves. Each of us is unique and that’s what makes each person truly interesting.

@brookebrightweather1519 8 ай бұрын

I really like what you're saying, Jonathan. Forget about the gender mindgames, and just express genuinely to each other what we like about the other, about how you feel when you're with them, how much fun you're having... I really sense your earnestness and care! I like your style a lot! Thank you for what you do. (hug - if that's good with you!)

@JonathonAslay 8 ай бұрын

Exactly

@patty8945 Жыл бұрын

This content is eye opening and therapeutic. Thank you, Jonathan. Yes, self-love is very important.

@doreenkawira1707 7 ай бұрын

I really agree with you

@Iammey 2 жыл бұрын

I appreciate your authentic vulnerability ,it's so real, and I can relate to ALL that you are saying

@umsosofati100 10 ай бұрын

I m going through this right now. Feeling all you mention. Liking a person being scared of the feelings and feeling insecure. So many emotions. And makes me into a person i dont want to be, insecure, clingy and scared. Thank u

@robinhamer2137 2 жыл бұрын

What a beautiful podcast! Lots to think about. Lots to implement. Lots of self work ahead. You sure do make a lot of sense. THANK YOU! GOOD WORK!

@WhyNotYouWhyNotNow Жыл бұрын

Love how genuine and open you are, Jonathon! Wish more guys felt brave enough to be like that! What’s a good way to communicate to a guy that you want them to actually plan dates and suggest different activities with each other? My boyfriend (military) drives over an hour to see me which I really appreciate as I have my daughter 95% of the time and his kids aren’t local. However I am always the one making dinner reservations (which is kinda important to make ahead of time on weekends where I live), except that he did make a reservation on my birthday. We’ve been together for almost a year and have known each other for 3.5. He’s not the most Romantic person in the world but I do like him, and we have lots in common, so I’d like to see where we go. Thank you so much in advance, Jonathon!

@jacquelineshepherd6473 Жыл бұрын

This resonates with me so much. For years I didn’t like myself and I feel so bad for those lost years. I truly love and accept myself now and it’s the key to a happy loving life. You can’t find true love until you love and accept yourself. 🙏

@alibrough8780 8 ай бұрын

this is resonating Jonathan. So much. I thought I'd be with my husband until one of us passed away. He said that I changed. I say that a lot changed me. Made me grow. I still wanted him to grow with me. I had to put my family and myself first to be a victor. Instead of staying with regret I put that energy into forgiving and feeling grateful for all that the marriage relationship taught me.

@cindas7944 Жыл бұрын

I loved this video! Especially your prayer at the end! Thank you Jonathan for sharing this wisdom with us! Much, much appreciated! I like that about you. That you share so openly and honestly from your heart!👍🌱🌹

@EMuro-wu7uy Жыл бұрын

The problem I have is every time I think things are going well a guy ghosts me. If I had honestly known certain things about these guys I wouldn't have gone out with either one. My takeaway is taking time for myself and taking time to balance things better. So I can get to know someone better before anything happens

@phoebejernigan9473 2 жыл бұрын

I wish I could like this more than once! I saved it, because I may need to hear it again sometime! I was married to my best friend for 13 years before he died of cancer. (He was my second husband and the first was a disaster.) I’ve often wondered if it’s possible that I could find a relationship that is anything approaching my wonderful best friend again. This gives me hope. At any rate, it helps me see a way forward even if I’m single. Thank you so much Jonathan!

@jstudiokip5503 2 жыл бұрын

I resonate with you totally. Start to love yourself before you could give to others....I love when you ended up with a prayer ,Johnathan . I'm having LDR btw ; 15 hours flight ✈ I told him already. like you said. " unpacked things " 😄 I'm blessed by your skill in relationships.

@renee5138 11 ай бұрын

Jonathan this is you, this is me- psalm 139:14. You ARE enough. You ARE worthy. You can always move on, their is always a way out, it was good for me to know this and it relieved my stress levels immensely🎉❤😊.

@JonathonAslay 11 ай бұрын

Yes! Thank you!

@judithgange7750 8 ай бұрын

Beautiful. bless you. 🙏🏼

@ArtLoverScotland 2 жыл бұрын

The love and understanding, compassion and sheer unabridged honesty you have for humanity, people in general and what and how you compassionately and deliberately share all of this is, for me, testament to the high calibre of human being that YOU truly are. Thank YOU Johnathon (love and respect from Scotland)

@carolrpg 11 ай бұрын

TWO THUMBS UP!👍👍"I like You" Yes need to say that more to the people we genuinely like and care about!

@melissabrzescinski494 2 жыл бұрын

This resonates with me completely. I try not to allow the fear to take over by reminding myself that he is an amazing person who treats me well. Seven months strong so far.

@leannehickey1986 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for addressing this I see many relationship coaches dismissing the idea that people pull away due to fear. Saying oh they just don't like you enough. I have definitely experienced anxiety in dating and my current relationship has been very on off due to him being an avoidant. Very stressful I love him to bits.

@rainbowtrout75 2 жыл бұрын

get out, they rarely change. was like a weight off my shoulders ditching my avoidant, the only good to come out of it was that I learnt to put myself first and love myself

@leannehickey1986 2 жыл бұрын

@@rainbowtrout75 yeah truth is life is more chilled when we are not in contact. I know what you mean I feel lighter right now and I am healing the part of me that accepted his crap.

@vivianiko 2 жыл бұрын

@@leannehickey1986 p

@rosecoon1791 11 ай бұрын

@@rainbowtrout75well that’s not very empathetic. They’re also individuals and each one is different.

@lisalamour4909 6 ай бұрын

YES Jonathon it resonates! My mother was very controlling and difficult. Also you mentioned that when we meet someone it feels like we did this before. I believe THAT'S often a feeling we have due to REINCARNATION.

@JonathonAslay 6 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing!!

@lynettewaks2036 2 жыл бұрын

Jonathan, this is really resonating! So true for so many of us. Thank you for your input.

@jbreezy5959 Жыл бұрын

Yes, resonates! Thanks for being transparent, really great to hear we are all not alone in the journey. A really powerful video! Putting yourself out there and being open is a risk. However as much as their is risk with potential loss, there is reward to meeting the right person after we strongly love ourselves 💞

@JonathonAslay Жыл бұрын

Yes! Thank you!

@catherineedge5446 Жыл бұрын

This resonated with me. I'm so burnt out with dating, I just don't feel I can keep dating in the hope of meeting a suitable partner.

@bethanywurzburg9181 Жыл бұрын

Me either. Just turned 35 and am so hurt and tired of Hinge guys and all the other online and real life jerks. Just use and leave. No caring. No homest communication. No maturity, but they talk a good talk and convince you they are so "good" snd "different."

@teresatilley1324 Жыл бұрын

This was a beautiful and heartfelt prayer and summed it up perfectly! Thank you!

@JonathonAslay Жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it!

@northeastsunshine1050 2 жыл бұрын

The last man I was in a relationship with had a very difficult time understanding why I liked him. I have done a lot of inner work and realized he didn't have the tools and the skills to have a happy healthy relationship! I was determined to help him. We had such passion. After a few years,I knew this relationship was a learning experience for both of us. I knew it would never grow. I was devastated, knowing I had to let go. He had to do his own work and a part of me knew he wasn't ready. I would love to have a happy healthy relationship but I am also happy and healthy alone. OM,Peace,Amen! Thankyou for your videos. They are so informative. Wishing you and your new relationship the very best.✨❤️✨

@gabrielle9953 Жыл бұрын

This totally resonates with me and I'm sure for many many others thank you for your counseling it's good to find someone who truly has been there and understands God bless you

@jenniferholland5410 Жыл бұрын

Jonathan, you explained my mother also. I've never heard anyone else have this type of upbringing like we did, although I'm sure there are many. All of your shows blow my mind but this one particularly did. And the way you explained how "I like you" means more than love...ive thought that for years now but nobody else gets it. 12 years single since my marriage ended, what a shitshow dating has been! It's a trip now, after the plethora of men that dropped into the scene since covid.. oof.. Good thing that I've got experience in dating and have really been focused on inner work, because it is dangerous out there. I'll be calling you for coaching soon, I found your page a few weeks ago and your approach is spot on for me. This video resonated deeper but they're all fantastic 💥⚘

@juliecortes8459 11 ай бұрын

That prayer at the end was truly beautiful ❤❤ Amen

@christiejohnson4294 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much. I'm in it right now. Want to run, avoid because of the insecurities. This hit me to the core. I'm very open and honest on how I feel about him. I love myself now more but still back step in insecurities I feel at home with him and that we blend together good.

@JonathonAslay Жыл бұрын

I'm confused by what you wrote...

@michelledreyer8147 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for the prayer! I’m glad you are promoting that! Nice work. I like you! 😊

@kelligray1848 8 ай бұрын

Thank you for this. My new man and I talk so openly about all of this and are falling in love. It’s so different than anything that came before. He is 42, I am 53. We are all in and leaning towards each other. This is a beautiful chapter of life. I think we both got to the place where we were fine alone and then bam, met each other and there has been no doubt we’re moving in the right direction. It’s so nice to talk about everything so openly and easily. ❤❤❤❤

@hisgirlmary9842 8 ай бұрын

ditto gals...I am a widow of 15 yrs. & elderly...77..hate to admit it but a young guy moved in across from me 58..>LOL & he brought me over a bowl of home made soup & that started a friendship that ended up making me laugh again...my marriage was not happy & apt. living is lonely & so is growing old ...but we developed a friendship of sorts that is fun...I love these conversations of you ladies are sharing. so many good talks on You Tube...thank you for all the encouragement & God who I give credit for putting ppl in our path...& thanks Jonathon for the topic... Love it. A lot of lonely ppl out there.

@weaponizedglitter69 7 ай бұрын

I'm in the exact same boat. It's just marvelous.

@KatieKamala 5 ай бұрын

I’ just started dating someone 11 years younger too. I wish you all the best.

@violettah878 2 жыл бұрын

This is resonating with me. Actually I lost a big love because of this. He told me years later that he was so afraid of loosing me that he stopped believing in the relationship. Thought he would loose me. He thought that such a good thing couldn´t happen to him. At the time I didn´t understand him retreating, years later he explained his fears. So sad.