The problem is, people want to seem like they’re not interested, and men are no exception. We are all acting like showing feelings is bad, but this is so messed up. Love shouldn’t be a game where we are always hiding all of our cards and playing them when we want. Love is saying “I’m not going to play this game because you and I aren’t pawns in a game”

I've realised long ago that you can't force someone to like you. You only have control over your own actions. If someone is interested they'll show it consistently with actions. Not just with words!!!

My ex came back pretending he's changed but his behaviour was: ignoring my messages and hanging up on me all the time finding excuses. I told him straightforward that I didn't understand why he was acting this way, that it wsnt normal and that I will not tolerate this attitude. My friends and family don't do that to me, why would you? He said sorry and that he would put some effort. Next thing you know, he does it again. For me: Game over 🎮 I literally dumped him. He keeps calling and sending messages 📞 Funny how suddenly he has time to chat and can give me attention. Unfortunately for him, I will never accept his BS anymore. He did not change, I did. NEXT ➡️

I never want love to feel like I have to be strategic.

You are right. I changed the “game” too. I mean, if someone is consistently taking hours or days to respond then I will not be available when he’s convenient. And really, when someone is interested, man or woman, they’ll be consistently trying. I draw the line at CONSISTENCY. If you are not consistent, boy I am out. This takes practice tho, because it’s easier said than done but mindfulness helps.

This hits hard with the “friendships” in my life. It sucks but if people don’t value me I’d rather be alone than taken advantage of. Same with family.

YES yes and yes- this is so important in order to not waste precious time and warmth... Go for the right people

Totally the wake up call I need with a guy whose generally nice and communicative with messages and chats, but takes too long to reply sometimes, and although he usually apologizes for it, something feels off and some of his answers are coming across immature and low value with low effort, and he’s not progressing anything forward, so I’m not interested in him anymore. I wish him well but moving on. Thank you 🙏 😊

My guy ALWAYS replies. And fairly quickly. What’s funny though is waiting 10 minutes for him can seem like an eternity. Yet waiting for hours for a friend or family member to reply seems like nothing. Lol. Very thankful for someone who’s actually reliable. Always early. Never cancels. And always calls right on time. I recognize I have a good one.😊

This doesn't just apply to romantic relationships. It applies to every relationship. Best to go with the flow so that your life is easy and calm!

I wish, whether men or women, no one should entertain the person playing mind games with them. And may everyone be enough for themselves, seeking no validation, and loving the ones who love them.

When someone ignores me I always seem to lose interest. Probably because I realised at some point that if someone isn't interested in me, it's a waste of my time to chase them. You can't make people like you and if they don't, that's OK too 🙂 Years ago I thought I should take more initiative to ask a man on a date but I realised that if a man is interested he will usually ask. And if you ask him, he might say yes out of politeness or to see what he can get from you, even though he isn't interested in a relationship 🤣

I love it when you empower us to value ourselves more when we are struggling with dating unavailable men.

If he says he’ll call and he doesn’t. .. I’m gone 😜

💙 Yes! I completely agree with everything you said. It’s my biggest pet peeve in any relationship. I understand that life gets busy but it comes to a certain point where it’s not worth my time to invest in a person who I feel is not matching my efforts…whether it’s a romantic relationship, friendship, or even a family dynamic

Oh, I needed to hear this! It's been 2 years of being strung along!! It's hard to even be his "friend" with his inconsistent hot and cold behavior! This has helped me so much. If my needs aren't being met...then I know he won't ever be able to meet them! I deserve the best 👌 not the leftovers

This is Great & confirmation! I VERY recently had a guy (that I've known 5yrs) tell me he "wants to have a deeper relationship." He went on to tell me this elaborate "plan" HE had in HIS mind for the future.(sounded like I was just a "Good idea" to add to his "plan") After only 3x seeing each other, he EXPECTED more. When I didn't give in to what HE had wanted/ "planned" .. .. now I haven't heard from him in a week & 1/2. NO BIGGIE here! I thank God that He removed the wrong man for me out of my life!

ALL of this is 100% FACTS!! I have been dealing with this since September.. and doing everything you said the person being ignored would do. He's been doing everything to a "T" with what you said the person doing the ignoring does. For months I've been going out of my mind trying to figure out WTH is going on with him. His lackadaisical replies if I get one. And the messed up part is that NO RELATIONSHIP was ever intended!! Just a "friendship". I'd get all the reassuring responses when I'd ask him why he takes forever to reply.. "I'm just really busy...don't take it personal...I reply when I get a chance...You're not bothering me.." blah blah blah.. it's all been a game to him and I repeatedly fell for it! I tried many times to just end it too by telling him I'm done with being ignored. He'd come out of the shadows and pull me back in. You'd think I'd be smarter than this seeing that I'm almost 50yrs old... nope, he got me, he played me and is still playing me. So many times I tried to make it work and explain myself and why I got so upset and he'd respond with "all good". Damn I've been such a fool!!!! Seeking his validation because I doubt myself so much and he knows it. The power I gave to him willingly blows my mind. I allowed him to make me feel like I'm worthless, nothing and like I didn't matter at all. I'm so mad at myself for this. But THIS was the video I NEEDED to watch! THANK YOU!!!!!

When I got into smth like that, I straight up asked if they were still interested in contact. And they said yes but kept the low energy reply, I would tell them that I don’t feel the connection and have a nice day. Move on 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

I was definitely meant to see this! The boy I was interested in has been doing this for weeks where he’ll ignore me or “forget” to text me. Every-time it’s some excuse as to why he didn’t text. I’m ready to move on and stop putting effort in.

It's so nice to hear some basic common sense! Sometimes we lose this in the craziness of love and emotions.

wow..I soon needed to hear this! I've been tortured by a guy who wants me but doesn't want me...I'm taking back control at last! Thank YOU

Woman:Let a man chase you.Dont beg for love.Dont make it easy for them.Let him fight for you.You dont give your body away so easily,do you?YOU are valuable,so invest in yourself.Love yourself first.

This is a good example of the need to match his effort. Dont continue to send frequent or lond msgs if he's not. This is a 'tell'. When he remains brief or inconsistent he is showing you, he's establishing, who he is... *Believe him!!*

He was a narcissist. Glad I saw it through after a few months. He's a grown man with a kindergarten mind. Were still in the talking-getting-to-know stage and I'm so glad I'm out of it all. I don't need a Man Child in my life. I always watch your videos till the end, Brian. Your videos helped me in my dating life rn. Thank you ❤

So great Brian ! You just confirmed what i did recently. I blocked and deleted 3 inconcistend Guys. It feels si good not to be in this Drama anymore 😅 Thank you Brian 🤩🤩🤩

Its intresting because I just experienced this recently. I used to overthink and maybe sometimes send another text when they didnt respond. Thankfully I’ve stopped doing that now. No more giving the benefit of the doubt to guys that give me the bare minimum. I just move on. And if he wants my attention again, he better make it worth my time.

Thank you!!! This was what I needed to hear. Pffft such a relief, now I really can let it go. Thank you so much!!! ( I already concluded that he probably" wasn't that into me" but was busy thinking for him, making excuses etc. ) You my dear sir, just set me free🙏👌👊✌️

So helpful . My time and effort is valuable. To all partners of dismissive Avoidant attachment style, please leave them asap. They don't deserve us. They might be nice ppl and they probably don't intend to give us silent treatment, but the thing is, they will never prioritise you. You will keep waiting for their text and they will takes days to reply, or worse, not even reply. LEAVE Edited : DAs never change. I gave one more chance after 100 chances seeing change in him since he loves so much, but he ghosted & no reply. He is absolutely wonderful and a kind man, but ghosting & silent treatment & not priortizing me is not ok

I agree with this soooo much…. If I’m feeling this stressed out now couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with such a man… sounds narcissistic to me.

I loved this video! We should never fight for his attention and value ourselves!

Exactly my situation! It's been 2 days since I asked what he felt for me. Thank you so much for sharing this! You are Heaven sent! God bless you always🙏

This is literally my situation right now! It's like you knew I needed these answers 😀

This is exactly what was happening to me! I am so glad it is over now. The trash takes itself out. Thank you for this video!!

Thank you I just keep replaying this to encourage myself to keep moving on and not accept less.

you are absolutely right , dating someone like him is a nightmare !

Why are people so bothered in waiting for reply and texting. It’s simple if he was not calling you, he is not into you! Text is only for setting plans or sharing links and photos, duh!!!

Wow you made this video just in time. Thank you. My value isn’t determined by who replies and doesn’t reply to me. 🥰

Yes! You have to look at the people and the relationship you have with them and see if you receiving the time, energy and respect you are receiving if this is what you are giving...if not remove what doesn't serve you!

I wish I had saw this earlier..right on!… a story like this almost cost me everything…but certainly my health , physically emotionally mentally !

Totally agreed! Recently, one guy doing the same thing to me for couple of months. When I stop contacting him, he starts to initiatively message me; if I respond to him, he continues ignoring my messages or giving me a quiet short answer.

Oh... It really sound easier said than done. When feelings and deep emotions are involved, it'd surely take a whole lot of courage to move on. Anyway, this is helpful so I'm taking notes for future reference.

Rejection is God's protection.

Dmn i needed this!!!It was/is like a God sent message a message like GIRL WAKE UP!Thank you coach!❤️

Experiencing this rn.Thanks for the advice 🙂

Ohhhh my Lord Brian, That was an AWESOME analogy about that song you mentioned. And you made me laugh. You're spot on. This is probably one of your best videos I've seen yet. Clear, concise, to the point and funny!!!!! You make it easy to understand and you get your message accross. Thank you

I regret not seeing this earlier, it would be extremely beneficial 4years ago!!! 💗 Thanks Brian, thank you for your insightful videos and great newsletter where you share your knowledge and help many to create "the sculpture we want" :)

Your time is precious love. Give it to someone who deserve it. I hope you all find happiness I’ve been through this so much.I just reply to fast abs get really anxious.😌I love you and God loves you. Hope you angels all find love♥️♥️

Thank you Brian 😊 for keeping us updated n this video is an reminder for us 💯

Amazing! So helpful! Thank you so much Brian! ❤️

Brian, thnx for great content! I enjoyed watching this video a lot. You really brought to the point that what was happening to me with a guy for 1,5 years, all the things/scenarios you described I‘ve been through and it feels amazing to know that this emotional and never satisfying rollercoaster will not happen again because I finally understood it🙂.

I felt this...thanks for your amazing insight and on point humor. You are so astute and lovable.

Loved this. You tell it in a charming and funny way but your message is serious and clear. Great job.

Congratulations Brian! You are SOOO ON POINT in THIS VIDEO.... actually in all your videos...I love them all!!!

"Let me tell you....lots of fun!" Priceless.

Thank you, this was PERFECT timing & now have 2 to drop that I'm not waiting on anyway!! 🥰

Thank you for posting videos. 📫 I love it when you do that.

Thank you so much for this! It was what I really needed to hear. I know this guy really likes me, so I was being patient. But I realize he's the 2nd kind, the guy who will be an emotional rollercoaster. I really don't want that.

You make me laugh, and I am grateful for your message ! Crazy how I know all these things but your reminders keep me on point ♥️

This is gold 💯 Thanks for the enlightenment ❤️

thank you for this advise ! I really needed it. Guess we can also use it with friends who do not take time to reply. Or reply days later, always having excuses.

I love your videos and the time you take to educate us, thank you so much and May God bless you 💕❤️

Simple but Powerful Points. Thank You 💜 I enjoy the way you explain your reasons. You paint a clear picture. ( jokes are funny too) It's funny how you know these things, but when they occur your confused of what may be the reasons. Yes, I'm wasting my mental time & energy. This was totally meant 4 me to see. I know what has to be done 😁

So true ! Thank you, Brian

You are intelligent and so humble at the same time. 💜

I saw this video at the perfect time! Thank you!

Thank you for your time and effort! 💚🤗🌴😎

Omg, your videos are so calming, and revitalizing to watch. I love your energy dude.

You’re so right, thank you for your wisdom. God bless you 🙏🏻

Dear Brian, for me (as with many others) this is your best video yet. So hard when things start off so nicely with common interests, morals, values, etc. and then your "Love" doesn't reply or if he does, it's too late or too short or just a waste of time. I really hate "How are you doing?" and you reply with a little of this and that (not an essay) and he makes NO comment whatsoever. I've been very patient but like you said, imagining a life with this fellow would most definitely be an uphill road. I think it's better to get hurt and sad now rather than later when I imagine it could be even worse. Thank you for your insight and humor. You do a magnificent job! Warmest wishes from California :)

Thanks Brian it really helps me a lot of your advice a month no message from him earlier I was so sad...but I love my self than to be with someone no time for me.

I thank God for all the help you are giving in getting people on the right track with relationships. I thank you from Buffalo New York ☃️❄️☺️

Omg! I didn't know this, now I know. The explanation makes me understand why. Thank you so much for this video

Thank you for this! I’ve come across so many men who do this when online dating and I’ve become jaded. It’s shocking if I talk to someone that is actually genuine!

Thanks coach. Really love it when you post a video :)

Tremendous content! This has been golddust for me today, thank you truly 🙏 💗

This is a good time to recall the serenity prayer, it saved me out of a previous long term relationship like this, glad this relationship hasn't progressed into a one sided miserable mess. Delete a number, before letting someone bring out the worst in you. There's someone for everyone. You have to find being rated as a 10 from one person, and a 3 from another, as more preferable then being rated a 7 or 8 from everyone. We don't need the stress of trying to live like a celebrity, that comes with difficulties in finding someone 💯 true and genuine. Especially if we don't look like a celebrity anymore.

We're an LDR 4 years, the last 2 years pummeled us with travel bans, lockdowns, etc., S. Africa was harsh. He became prickly, would shut down for short periods (better than me listening to him rant). Once he gets boostered this month he'll fly to me in NYC -- unless another variant appears and the surreal barriers keeping us apart continue. He also has power outages, weak wifi, so I can't always blame him. It's just really hard but hey, until we spend more time in person I won't know if it's good or bad. These are not ordinary times and require extraordinary patience. Thank you.

That's GOOD STUFF! Thanks so much for your guidance!!!

Thankyou💕always enlightening ‼️

I enjoyed listening to you, and learnt what you just said.

Thank you Brian, this was very helpful ! Love your videos! 🙏🤗

If I am that easily to forget he’s not the man for me. I completely understand getting busy or own dying but forget OK forget my number

You are an AMAZING BLESSING ❤️❤️❤️ YOUR VIDEOS SAVED ME REPITITIVELY Thank you ❤️

Perfect timing for that one to pop up! Thanks 🙏🏼

This video is sooooooo timely and insightful. Thanks a lot for the video.

I think we rely too much on texting and DMs. Pick up the phone or go see them.

Totally enjoyed listening to you Brian.

Truly enjoyed your advice, thanks 🙏 very much.

THANKS for all of your valuable advise!!

people just like what they can;'t have and they value people who seem disinterested. In the same way, you don't like people who are overly desperate, and needy., which is why it's so hard to find anything mutual! And some people genuinely like the 'chase' aspect.

This also applies to other relationships, even worse, professionally at work! It's funny that in the time we live in, when we have ALL the technology and means to connect to others, we are growing more inefficient in communication. All these ghosting, "seenzoning" and mind games shows we don't even know how to be decent with one another.

Thank you for this ♥️

This man is 🔥🔥❣️ clearly truly stated!

Thanks Brian this video helped me a lot!

I really enjoy your videos Geert! You are so funny and wise! Great energy

You have helped me sooo much!

Wonderfull your speech. Its6all about loving ourselves and being our own priority. We are nobodies rug.

Super👍 well said, Brian.

Very good! Love your examples 😂 with a serious message that consistency is key.