By grace thru faith we are saved… check out onorato diamante he helped me with the Performance salvation part ❤ I’m still a little too performative but not because of salvation fears…

I struggle with similar things. My counselor has told me that I don't need to pay attention to those thoughts and that it's a process, not overnight. Christ has justified us by His blood. That's fixed. God has given us his unequivocal "YES!" Nothing can take that away, not even our sin, because Jesus paid for it. Something that's been helpful for me is praying, "God, your word is true, and what you say about me is true." If you're looking for a good song, check out "How You Love Me" by Patrick Mayberry.

By process I mean that these thoughts aren't going to go away overnight. Just wanted to clarify.

I'm so grateful to read that your therapist led you in the proper direction as to your need to experience the Love of the Father versus your frantic attempts to perform to try & earn his love. ✨

I also lived much of my Christian existence in fear of God. This has stemmed from an extremely harsh upbringing, so I would always perceive God as being like my earthly father was. I too couldn’t read books of the bible such as the prophets, the sermon on the mount, parts of letters to the churches etc. I would become so stressed and self condemned that I literally would become sick to my stomach and would have to close the bible and walk away from it as it was too painful. I constantly doubted my salvation. But thanks to God, some years ago I began to take in some teaching that spoke much about the love of God and all that was accomplished for us when Jesus died on the cross, and how God was a relational God. I began to believe in the gentleness and tender mercies of God, and that He defines Himself by the fruit of the Spirit as written in Gal 5 and by the love as it is written in 1 Cor 13. Pastor Mark de Jesus’s teaching is right in line with this and it is a great help in reinforcing these things in my walk with God. I also have come to understand God in the Old Testament more, and can now read any book of the bible without fear. I am in the place where whenever I read what to me is a difficult passage, I acknowledge to God that I am not seeing correctly and trust Him to reveal how He intends for me to receive it. Now that I am able to receive God’s love more I agree that it is truly transformative!

❣

its because of evil pastors teaching a false God

I know and feel your pain (Psalm 31 v7)🙏🙏🙏

Oh my word!!! My experience is the same!!! I lived in fear for 32 years in the Independent Fundamental Baptist church. Every time the altar call/invitation was given, I would almost freak completely out. I would have panic attacks and have to get up and go to the bathroom. I had gone down to the altar, afraid I wasn't saved thousands of times. But I finally learned that I didn't have to do all that because Christ had completely paid my sin debt and accomplished my salvation on the cross and by his resurrection. I believe it. I can now rest in that truth, but I still get triggered sometimes; like PTSD!!! We are not saved because we have some fearful experience where we are white, knuckling the back of a pew, then walk an aisle. We are saved by hearing the truth of the gospel message and believing it (resting in it)! Praise God! It is finished!

@leighastjohn8612 YES! The altar calls are tough every single time. I'm just now to where I'm alot better cause I know it's my ocd tendencies just seeing that so many others are dealing with this is good to know we aren't alone. God never speaks with uncomfortable anxiety that's our own minds and the enemy. Unbelievers don't constantly doubt their salvation. God bless and much love ❤️

Religious abuse is difficult to work through and heal from. It may not happen all at once. But it is possible, and God wills that kind of healing for us. So don't lose hope. Keep trying, keep learning, and keep praying. Not because we're trying to get Him to notice us, but because he has already noticed us, called us to be His beloved children, and put His Spirit in us, so that wherever we would be, He would be with us in the realest sense of the phrase. May you have a great rest of your day. The grace of God and of the Lord Jesus be with you. 💙💚💛

Jeremiah 29:11 (the portion that says, “not for our harm but for our good”). A good one to meditate on. Hebrews 11:6, another good one.

I’m having a hard time to receive God our Fathers love and grace. My husband and I just came out of a church where it was law based teaching all the time. We were always doing something wrong in the pastors eyes and he called us a lot to “ tell us all the wrong things we did or say “. We were so exhausted and spent all our time looking inward if we did something wrong all the time. I got so depressed and we both nearly left God after this experience 😢 The pastor cursed us with these three words when we left “ You guys are the must lying, deceived, and false people we have met in our life’s “ He even preached about us in his sermon and put it out on KZfaq. We were so broken 😢

​@tinakarinaful OH my word how horrible. I am so so sorry you went through that!!! That is damage to the sheep of God and completely unbiblical! Jesus came into the world, not to condemn it but to save the world! He loves you so much and completely and utterly for all eternity already accomplished your salvation and you are NOT condemned! All he wants us to do is believe that! My heart aches for your abuse!

@@tinakarinaful This might be helpful, it's called "Healing Spiritual Abuse Livestream Q&A" by Kyle Spears of TruthTraumaTheology kzfaq.info/get/bejne/gqt8a6qbv9S8oYk.html

I think that’s a bit silly if someone brings up God also loving Judas so to be careful because the issue is how are we receiving and leaning into God’s love. God loves everyone but is there evidence of Judas resting in and taking in the love of Christ?

@@leighastjohn8612 People will say things thinking they're being helpful and in the process, they end up wounding us further. That person's comment borders on spiritual bypassing / mistreatment. I've had similar things coming from people and 'friends', and I've come to know who I can share with and who I cannot. I've stopped 'casting my pearls before swine'. I'm so sorry you had that experience after you had just begun getting free. Don't stop plodding along, He is with you and He is for you.

@@shannonl9633 Thank you so much for your kindness!

Someone in my life constantly comes back to this kind of mentality with me. I was recently told women should not be allowed to Praise the Lord on stage, that they are in 'emotions ' and its 'demonic'. He then said he could Prove it and wanted me to watch videos on 'this type' of women. The person is family member. Frankly I just feel tired of the majority of the Christian population. I don't go to church anymore, and I don't relate to what most of them say.

You’re not expendable to God! God loves everybody. God loves everybody individually! You’re so special to Him and He wants you to know that, no matter what is going on in your life. Remember, the pain that you’ve been feeling can’t compare to the Joy that’s Coming in Heaven!

I kind of am going through a similar thing. I feel like I am living wrong even tho I know the reasons I think that are ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with watching Dancing With the Stars or secular music. It’s all my own conscience but I can’t seem to rest in that and take too much stock in what other people may think or interpret instead of what I think or interpret.

Right there with you.

Exactly!!!

​@@amayabaker5809 hi! I will say to yes allow yourself to relax, but to still use wisdom and discernment when listening to secular music. There are several artists who have demonic agendas. So just be careful and be aware of the words and thr lifestyle of those you are listening to!

Oh my goodness. I could've wrote this myself. I hope you discover what you need.

I believe both. Rest in His finished work. Trust Him in all things (Prov 3:5-6); Abide in Him and His love (John 15). Out warfare is in our minds so we must learn to take our thoughts captive meaning, “Is this thought aligning with Who I am in Christ or a distorted lie from the enemy or from brokenness?” Taking the thought captive is asking God to help you to not dwell on that thought. Not agreeing with it. Example: Thoughts that accuse are from the enemy or self. Holy Spirit has been teaching me to notice when a thought is the voice of accusation. That isn’t the voice of God. As our mind is being renewed and as we learn to receive His love and learn to believe who we are in Him, we can more easily recognize the lies and distortions. It is definitely a journey and a process and I am in this process myself. He is faithful! Amen. ❤

I hope that helps some.

@@oilinmylamp Thank you sister! God bless you.

Way to bring it Mark

Amen

Hang in there! Praying for you!

Hang in there! I've been struggling with similar themes too - you're not alone. Just remember God loves you as His child, and he wants you to get through this. Take a break and let him take care of it all, his burden is light and he has already forgiven you. Matthew 11:28 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 ” Here are some more verses I feel helped me when I was struggling: 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. Psalm 33:20-22 We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone. I pray for you my friend, again hang in there! 🙏I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Good luck!!!

Like you’re afraid being too casual to God? Is that what you mean?

@@AMcDub0708 in part, yes. But perhaps it’s more accurately described as the pernicious doubt that God relates to you as a loving, accepting Father, afraid that the reality is that one is still under God’s wrath for nebulous reasons…. It’s the feeling of, “dear God, yes, I want so badly to just be at rest with you like a child with their Father, but is that your disposition towards me really? What if I only THINK I’m in Christ, elect, etc…”

@@dkert0b05n0 ohhhhhh yes. I struggle with that too 😢 We can pray for each other to find comfort and peace in our relationship with the Lord, rather than constant second guessing.

@@AMcDub0708 thanks, brother… there is grace for the obsessives 🙏

A helpful thing to keep in mind that I heard the other day is that God does not provide unlimited assurances, meaning that God does not salve our distorted feelings and fears ad infinitum. Having the life of faith and being perplexed with darkness, doubts, and fears is not entirely incompatible. I’ve been in the Psalms lately, and I’m so relieved and encouraged that God’s people, writing the divinely inspired Scripture, communicate so often about their feelings of pain, guilt, sadness, darkness, pleading, crying and confusion. It is no wonder then, that we so often are afflicted similarly. God is faithful, He works all these things together for our good as we love Him and are called according to His purposes. 🙏

Practice. . . let yourself learn in the doing. Resting in God's love builds confidence. The Lord, Lord people practiced lawlessness, meaning they did ministry and did whatever they wanted to in life regarding sin.

I want to be rewarded for seeking Him and when I don't feel I connected with Him, I do less of it.

Thank you sister. God bless you. ❤❤@@janetholmes