This video was full of things I needed to hear and I'm on the verge of tears

I feel like I'm female but non binary. Sometimes I feel female, sometimes I feel like I have no gender.

**googles in a crisis** *oh thank you*

I'm female but I feel like a guy. I don't like how I have boobs and I love it when people call me a "he". But but I'm scared because I have a transphobic mom and a trans boy brother, and I'd rather have people call me "Evan" or "Adam" than "Ava". Also my friends and and teachers. The school of music... eh...Its scary.

I feel like I’m a gay man in a woman’s body

This has nothing to do with anything, but I feel it must be said... You're sense of fashion is on facking point.

since 2014 I started questioning about my gender and sexuality, because I didn't feel like everyone else. at this time all my friends started getting "relationships" and talking about "cute girls" and "cute guys" of the opposite gender of themselves. at this time I also started noticing that I didn't like guys as much as I liked girls, and I started feeling more like a guy than a girl, that freaked me out because my parents have always told me "gay is bad" and "you're a girl" and I tried hiding it wearing dresses and tons of mascara, even though it didn't feel right. as time passed I started feeling more uncomfortable with it, and in 2014, as the weird kid I was I took random quizzes about gender and sexuality. in 2015 I got in a relationship for the first time and with a girl, I loved her more than anything but at the same time I was scared to tell anyone about it. in the summer of 2015 I decided to cut my hair short like a boy, and wear baggy clothes because I felt like sh*t about the way I looked. a couple months ago, some weeks after my girlfriend and I broke up I felt like I've made the decision of who I was, and I was happy of who I was I decided to tell my parents. I told them I was gay and Genderfluid(more to the boyish side) and how I figured it out. instead of sitting down and talk to me or telling me it was OK, they straight up to my face said "no your not" and came up with the conclusion that I "sit too much on my room speaking to internet people" and turned of my internet for half a week. that gave me some doubts about what I 'really' am, but I still feel the same as when I did before I told them. so.. whoopsie. never gonna tell anything about myself to my parents ever again

I need advice. I am agender, and I want to get top surgery. I was told by my ftm friend that if I get chest surgery I might as well just say that I'm ftm. That if I'm agender I should just get a chest reduction and not completely get rid of it. He said that agender people make it harder for ftm people. He also says that nonbinary people shouldn't call themselves trans. I live with him. He's like a brother to me. I don't know how to get him to understand. I sometimes even show him proof that he's wrong or mislead about certain things he thinks about nonbinary people and he gets mad at me. I just want him to understand. He says he understands genderfluid people and keeps trying to get me to say that I'm that instead. I know I'm agender though. I have dysphoria too. I want to be myself, but he makes it so hard. He believes non binary people exist, but he constantly tells me he doesn't understand how someone can have no gender. He also constantly says there's no way I can understand any of his struggles...

All I have to say is thank you. For a few months now I’ve been questioning my gender. Then I found the term demigirl. I still feel like a cis girl looking for attention and this video helped me a lot. So thank you

Fun fact: I typed in "HELP GENDER NO" and this was the first thing that came up

How do you tell the difference between discomfort & fear of rejection? It's hard to tell the difference sometimes

I feel like a woman inside of a men’s body. I freaking want to be every girl part in every movie and musical😭😭😭😭

GOD with each word you spoke I kept thinking more and more... “This is a mood, bruh” Like... big mood.

how do you deal with ppl calling nb ppl special snowflakes? it depresses the sh** out of me

Would you consider making a video on dealing with dysphoria and gender expression/exploration when you're in the closet and have to stay in it? Thanks for making these videos.

Haha, think I'm just gonna stay in the closet for a few more years good luck y'all

THANK YOU. These past few weeks has been tough for me just thinking about this subject, I am so grateful for you posting such helpful videos showing us we aren't alone with questioning identity. Much love to you Ash ~ 💜 💙 💖

I really needed to hear this today, especially that last part about it being okay to be where I am right now. Thank you so much for these videos

I've been doubting my gender for a really long time now, and this video almost made me cry. I've tried to explain the way I feel to my parents but because am not exactly sure they didn't understand... And this video says something I really needed to hear!!

My adult child came out as gender fluid. They are still the same person as before, except they are able to be more authentic. This momma is happy that my child is happier. Parents who may be reading this: accepting and loving your child is life-saving. Thank you for making this video.

i’m a girl, but i’ve been having doubts since October. So i experimented, cut my hair, wore clothes that are a bit on the “non-feminine” side (sorry, i don’t know how to phrase this without sounding offensive ;-;) and I was happy. I don’t mind being a girl, but for some reason my heart leaps at the idea of me being a boy, as if I wanted to be both (sorry if i’m using incorrect terms, i’m quite new to this ;-;) so I had a crisis about this and seeing this video helped me calm down so much XD I don’t mind being referred to as “she”, but for some reason i also want to get referred to as “he” ;-; i feel uncomfortable but yet thankful (its confusing) having this body (since it looks feminine and masculine at the same time) i’m really confused and also a tad bit scared on why i’m feeling things like this, can i have some advice? ;-;

When I finally transferred to college and took my first LGBTQ+ class, I remember the terms non-binary, genderqueer, and agender felt significant to me. It was like learning a word that I felt when I was 3 years old but never had the vocabulary for it. It made sense to me. But I also felt doubt in exploring it because of talking to one of my best friends about it and when she said she didn't like nonbinary or think unisex names were valid then it scared me from exploring my gender. A part of me knew it was because I didn't want to be rejected, but another part of me still wanted to be accepted. That was a couple years ago. Now I accept my nonbinary gender, keeping myself in the closet with family and certain friends, because a part of me still wants acceptance and still need help from them. It's weird. But I'm glad to know doubting your gender isn't uncommon. But wish I knew this a couple years ago. Thanks again for making this video.

I’m 12 years old and I’m sure I’m the only one in my grade experiencing these feelings.. I’m so confused... I came out as Bisexual 2018 and my parents and friends were very accepting! Recently I’ve been questioning my gender.. I’m so confused, some days I feel so feminine but other days I want to be a boy.... I don’t hate my body or anything and I feel that if I was a boy I’d still have the same opinion.... I’m scared to talk to my best friend about it because she doesn’t know much about the lgbtq community and she doesn’t really deal with the same problems.. I’m not sure what to do. I cry every night.. it’s just so confusing figuring all of this out😭

I'm questioning my gender identity rn, it feels both confusing and exciting. I'm ready to be my authentic self but I feel so lost in the labels. This helps a lot and calms down my conscience❤️

Help! I don't know if I'm non binary or trans. Ive always knew I was different somehow. I'm pretty sure I feel like a male (I was born a female) but I have also not really felt like any gender till I did start puberty. When I did start puberty I remember feeling like a man. Is this normal I'm confused? Edit: well I feel like no gender but I also feel like a male than anything.

You speak the truth when you talk about discomfort versus fear of rejection. has a gender fluid person who just recently figured this out about myself and even more recently came out about it, that was always where I would go back and forth for so many years. I felt like if I didn't act or dress all the time as a girl that it would be a problem for everyone around me. I basically wasn't ever really a lady. But at the same time I didn't feel like I identified as a guy all the time either. It was constantly yo-yoing back and forth and I just assumed for a long time that I was a tomboy or something like that. Gender fluid wasn't really a word growing up. It's only recently that that term has gone mainstream and has become something people talk about. I didn't even automatically think that that's what I was and I was confused because I understood transgender but I was like "well, you mean there's something else out there too?" It took me a good couple of years for me to figure out this is exactly what I am. I'm definitely a lot more comfortable in my own skin nowadays.

I really really felt like i was trans, like i'd known for years. And then yesterday I came out to my mum and then suddenly i dont feel trans anymore??? Wtf

This is incredibly comforting to hear. The idea that I can just hold off on my gender and not have to stress over it right now is so pleasing. I have so much I’ve been stressed about recently, it’s been a lot. It’s very nice to hear that my stress levels can be reduced.

My gender experience is something I find very hard to define. I already started as identifying as agenderflux; but maybe it was a bit too soon for me to do that. It's just that; the significant moment I can't get out of my head is when one night I felt this tightness in my chest that I had recently learned might be connected to anxiety at the time and imagining myself as a girl helped me calm down and it even gave me some intense happiness to see myself as that; only for that to be talked from me the next morning (and it's hard to describe how I felt that morning). I don't normally have extreme thoughts about my gender; in fact I have only had experiences similar to that 2 other times. And most of the time I feel like I actually don't have any pronoun preference as well but in a weird way, I kind of do? IDK; it's hard. That's all I can really say. This video did help me though; because I still can't help but doubt myself. Like in my head I'm like "Maybe that feeling in my chest was actually caused by something else." even though in my mind; I can't take away how happy I felt looking at myself like that and recognizing myself as a girl in my head. It's just the fact that it goes away is the part I find hard to reconcile with. PS: I can also shift into a guy as well; although it really only strikes as a slight pronoun preference when that happens; and I feel like "they" is still an okay pronoun to be used at that time. Although I'm not fully out yet; and nobody IRL really uses "they" pronouns with me so IDRK.

I know I'm a girl, yet not satisfied in me. I just wanna hear I'm genderless, to lead a life of a true human than bind to binary stereotypes. Perplexed with my bodyand mind. With my bra and butt. Still realizing who am I.....

Thank you, Ashley. I needed this video today. It helped me find comfort not just about my gender doubts, but about other doubts in my life as well. Thank you so much for sharing, and for your compassion. Have a great one.

Thank you so much for this! "It is 100% okay for you to be exactly where you are right now." I've needed to hear so much of this.

This video is awesome, thank you c: I've been questioning my gender for over a year and I've finally realized I do in fact have chest dysphoria, I've always felt uncomfortable about my breasts, but I never really thought about it until now, I thought it was normal, but then I read something online about how dysphoria can manifest as awkwardness about a certain body part or can be mildly uncomfortable. I've been dysphoric about my breasts since I've had them and never really knew. But besides that, I'm not totally sure I'm dysphoric about anything else. I like having a feminine body, sometimes I kind of wish I had male genitals along with female but I'm not sure if that's really dysphoria or if it's just want. I don't know what I feel most of the time and it bothers me to no end. When I was little I hated girls only groups and situations, I always felt awkward and out of place surrounded by only girls, but how do I know I'm not just a tomboy? I also used to want a masculine voice for a long time but now I don't as much, but was it even dysphoria? My voice naturally isn't very masculine, but I can lower my voice to sound more like a boy when I want. I've heard of cis girls being dysphoric about their breasts too, though maybe they're not really dysphoric but just dislike them because they're inconvenient, or maybe some of them are non binary and don't know it? I used to be sort of proud of my breasts because they're kind of big and I thought boys would find them attractive, but I've always been more uncomfortable about my breasts than any part of my body. If someone can see my breasts, I feel extremely uncomfortable and insecure, I guess. I also don't like being seen as a girl all the time. I often wish no one knew my sex/gender, or saw me as male, though I wouldn't be comfortable being 100% male. I guess there are too many coincidences for me to just be a cis girl, right? At least I hope not. I don't want to be a girl. But tbh I am really really afraid of what other people would think about me being nb if I told them.. I am 20 but I'm still afraid of being called a special snowflake or a fake or something because when I started questioning my gender, everyone told me I was just a cis tomboy. It's so much easier to just live as a female for the rest of my life, I can deal with dysphoria. Idk. I want to be myself but I'm more afraid of other people :/

I’ve recently started questioning my gender. I’ve always been fine with being a girl as gender was never that important to me. However more recently I’ve been feeling like I don’t have a gender (only sometimes though). Sometimes I feel like a girl, sometimes I feel genderless, sometimes I just don’t really care what pronouns people use. (They/them or she/her, I’ve never felt male.) I feel like could be any gender except male. It just really confuses me.

Questioning your gender is such a stupid concept. And no, it's NOT normal.

When I discovered that I was agender, I began to value myself more. That's where I am now. ❤

I don’t feel happy being female or male so I think I am NB but I am scared to tell my mum how can I come out without confrontation? I have told one of my friends and I don’t know if i should have because i am still unsure about my gender. I would like to get a sports bra so that I can ‘bind’ without it being noticed but I am still nervous about how they will react. One of my fears is for people to think bad of me so I try not to provoke it. What should I do?

I fucking love you! The videos you make are so important for all of us who feel marginalized and disrespected for our gender identity. With all the TERFs and bigots out there what you are doing is so, so important. Been having a tough time arguing with TERFs and a comment triggered my dysphoria that my face doesn't look feminine enough. It was a joy to see one of your videos and remind me that I do have friends and allies out there. You're so confident too. It's a pleasure watching your videos

I needed this video so much, I needed someone to say that to question and doubt and not be 100% sure about such things is okay. thank you!

This video was really helpful, thank you. I'm struggling to understand who I am right now and knowing that it's fine to be where I am, figuring things out, was something I didn't realize I needed to hear... but I really needed to hear it. So thank you.

i'm so confusing about my gender now, like if someone call me she i'm comfy, if someone call me he i'm comfy too>> but if someone say that i'm a girl i'm like "mmm i don't think so" same for the "guy" but i don't feel like non-binary gender too so i think that i'm bigender but it's so underrated argoment so i can't find out if i'm or not~~ i'm so sorry for my english but it's not my first language ahahah 🥺

Wow thank you for this video :)

I'm currently going through so much doubt & am so anxious about it, this helped so much! thank you

I know it's an old video, but you're saving my life right now and I just had to let you know about it, thank you

W o w. In the past months, I have discovered a lot about myself, and many of the things you mentioned are conclusion I have arrived to in the process. A thousand times thank you! I really hope this helps many, many folks!

I'm totally straight. Even now. But after hearing a horrible story, I was stressed alot and confused with my "non-objectifying sexuality" with feminity. Now I'm very guilty for doubting myself...😓

You're channel is helping me so much. I'm so far from friends and family and I'm super prone to be hard on myself. This video has really helped alot. Thank you.

THANK YOU! I have no words to describe how good and at ease this video has made me feel! thank you!

Honestly I've been questioning myself so much since high school. I felt like maybe I was trans, even felt some dysphoria. However now I'm questioning if maybe I'm genderfluid, because I like my body(kinda). Yet at the same time even though I love dressing girly when I feel down, from time to time I still feel like I'm almost lying to myself. I feel the most comfortable in boys clothes. I like how I look in then they make me feel awesome. But... idk I'm just very confused about all of it and which I knew someone I could talk to.

I came to this video because I've been doubting my gender. I already know I'm pan but doubting my gender is totally new to me. Somedays I'll want to just wear jeans and a shirt I got from the men's section. Other days I'll want to wear leggings and show off my curves, be a girly girl. But I also don't want to rush to a conclusion or mis-identify. I also sometimes can see myself as a boy. Just like how I found out I was pan; I could see myself with somebody who's nonbinary or a girl or a guy. But yeah. Sometimes, I just wanna be one of the guys, wrestling and joking around about sports and stuff or stereotypical guy junk like that. Other days I want to gossip and go the mall and just be a stereotypical girl. But, like I said, I don't want to mis-identify and confuse people. And I would talk to my friends but they never take me seriously about anything. And I should feel comfortable talking to my sister about it but she doesn't think there's more than one gender. Anyways, this was just kind of a rant. Sorry.

You always give great advice, and speak very respectfully and clearly.

That's was soooooo helpful and needed.... you have no idea!!! Thank you for putting this out there!!!

this is really great and validating to see. nice nice nice

Yo, so like I think I'm like trans ( or more accurately transmasculine nonbinary), but like I get serious doubts cause when I was little I was like a girly girl and I still worry about fashion and stuff but Ive always been uncomfortable with the "she" pronoun. Thinking back on it, Iv'e always felt different but I didnt know why. I thought that when I came out as Queer, I would be happy and i did for a short time... but I realized me focusing on my sexuality in realization, buried my feelings about my gender ( i would go up to the mirror and push down my chest so it looked flat for months without thinking anything of it). But now that its like front and center its hard to ignore. I have really bad anxiety and I use to wear a lot of make up bc I was afraid I would be seen as ugly to ppl and I use to wear a lot of like girly things which is why Im doubting so much. I hate my chest, and I hate my hips and I hate my voice when i sound girly and its eatin me up but still Idk if this is gender dysphoria or some type of body dysmorphia. Maybe im just thinking to much about it. I just dont want to mess up and tell ppl then realize "oh nope it was just a phase hahaha". Sincerely, Nik

i know this was from 4 years ago but i’m really happy i found it, tysm

Sometimes I feel like a boy Sometimes I feel like a girl Sometimes I feel like I’m genderless

I’ve started questioning my gender more recently, and I’m not sure what’s real or how to feel anymore :/ I was born a girl, and used to be ok with “she“ pronouns and was more feminine then. I don’t remember having questions or discomfort, just curiosity about being a guy. I never conformed to stereotypes, and lately I’ve been feeling out of place with being a girl, and would rather be a guy at times. It almost feels right or good, and I remember always have an aggressive nature or desire to compete with the guys. Sometimes I get depressed about my appearance, and wish I could look more like a guy. I just like the role better, but I’m not always sure about male pronouns completely. Maybe I feel a mix, idk :/

SOMEONE HELP I feel like I’m both a female male and non binary because I am female but deep down I feel male and sometimes non binary

Thank you soooooo much identified 100% felt like a rug everybody was stepping on and didn’t know what to believe in anymore thank you ❤️❤️

I was questioning my gender and it was coming up to 3-4 years with me thinking about it and not feeling comfortable about being called she/her or a female in gender and I also knew that I wouldn’t like being called he/him either…one of the people in my community had come out as trans lately so I was a little more confused with myself at that time. Soon after my parents randomly shouted at me that they knew all the things I was questioning (this was to do with something not even related) because they looked through all of my private things and just laid it out saying, “I still accept you….but I don’t think you are [insert gender and sexuality] because you’re so young and confused.” My mum has now brought up this topic a couple times and told me it’s completely normal to feel like this but that I’m definitely not non-binary because I’m to young to tell apparently and I shouldn’t put a label. She also said that she thinks that me thinking these things is just a fad that kids do these days and I’m being influenced by the person I said was trans in the beginning.The thing is, I haven’t put a label and I’m still thinking about what I like and don’t like and I’m not being influenced by anyone but my own thoughts and feelings. So I honestly don’t know why my parents are jumping to conclusions and ignoring what I have to say because they said they’d listen to me… sorry about completely spilling half of my thoughts here

I’m a born male yet I feel like I’m a non binary pan sexual tiger on the inside but I’m too scared to come out to my family. At first I tried being a straight guy, then I was confused and thought I was a rabbit but after visiting the zoo and seeing a tiger it all made sense. I guess I’ve always known deep down that I was a Tiger but needed to see one to actually come to terms with it. I know this will break my family if I came out and told them. All I want is for them to accept me and pet me while feeding me antelope meat. Can some one please give me some advice on what to do?

What happened to the phrase “Tom-Boy”? I was a Tom-boy, yet a girl. “They”, make it confusing. It’s not. Once I had my period my gender stabilized. The teen years are the most volatile. Just wait it out! Loves

Oh my goodness you have such a nice kind vibe and your video kind of gave me hope to have fun in the process. Thank you!

I Love how open everyone is, in the comments. I'm always here to talk!

Thank you thank you thank you thank you. I will rewatch this as many times until i feel comfortable with myself. Thank you for this video.

thank you!!! i love this so much and its so well-made

thank you so much! this video was exactly what I needed to hear.

So helpful!!!! Thank you, I needed to hear those advices :)

This is really good life advice in general, thank you!

Thank you, I needed to hear that.

Thank you. I needed this.

What an excellent video, and what excellent advice. Thank you!

I can’t tell the difference between discomfort and fear… help.

This is lovely. Thanks for making this video!!

This helped and I needed it. Thanks Ashley.

Btw if anyone needs this Gender wiki on fandom has some great mods and when you talk about your identity most of the time they will recommend some genders for you!!!

Thank you for this thoughtful video!

Thank you for this. Sometimes I just need someone else to say these things out loud to me

Thank you I’m trying to learn as much as I can so I’m no longer ignorant on the subject.

I want to be a girl but at the same time I still want to be a boy. I feel like I’m both at the same time. I keep questioning if I’m trans, gay, or bigender. I just hate that feeling and I want it to go away.

Thanks for this, I'm questioning my gender right now, I think I'm a demi-girl and you last part about doubts really helped me! I have doubts loads right now cause I still don't know how to feel about using they/them pronouns as well as she/her but the more I think about it now I feel more comfortable with it. Thank you!!♡♡♡

Recently questioning if I am agender or not along with some other things. Not sure where I'm at but I know I needed to hear this. Thank you :')

Great little video! Really inspiring!!

I'm impatient and don't like being confused, so I'm gonna try mescaline and see if it gives me clarity.

I keep going back and forth. Like I’ll be sayin “I’m a female” “no wait I’m a male” “no wait I’m bigender “ 😭😭😭😭

Thanks, I needed that right now

Man the patience is the hardest part…..

Thank you so much making this video! I wish I could have you as my internalised voice haha

this is genuinely an amazing video

I needed this! I need ti remember to have patience

OMG you are so intelligent and I really enjoyed watching this. thank you

Thanks for the video it was rly good😊❤ I questioned my gender first at last september & i only found out at march😅 Bc i love my (female) body but sometimes didnt feel like a girl/woman (i loved my body then, too) and smtimes i felt like half girl half not girl and first i thought im demigirl then i thought "well maybe im full girl" but then i felt like im enby... then in march i was thinking that im genderfluid on the woman to nonbinary spectrum. Few weeks later i saw this word "girlflux", searched it & found out WOW THATS EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME & now im so happy that i finally know my gender😌🥰 I didn't came out to anyone yet but i plan to some ppl💁🏽‍♀️

Love your videos. Keep up the good work.

Great video, it helps me so much thank you!

THANK YOUU I NEEDED THIS

Omg im going to cry this is helping me a lot im pan but ive been questioning my gender identity for a little bit im really confused and idk who to talk about this to

Ow thank God I was needing this.

I know this video is mainly regarding gender, and I thought I'd leave my experience even though it also involves sexual orientation. So basically, I think I might a demigirl (non-binary identity). Once I found the meaning of the label I just related to it so much, but there's too major issues. My dysphoria has always been majorly social and feeling out of touch with being a "girl", like calling myself a cis girl always felt wrong, I guess sometimes I just feel like I'm not "non-binary" enough, if that makes sense. The second issue is, while I still thought I was cis, I labeled myself a lesbian. And even after finding out I'm a demigirl, I still relate to the label even though I don't actually feel like a girl 100% of the time, like, should I just call myself sapphic or trixic or something? I mean I sort of think I'm fine with she/they pronouns, even though gender neutral pronouns makes me feel a little bit better, sometimes I'm feminine presenting and other times I'm more androgynous and stuff. I am really at lost here.

I'm so stressed about this subject. I don't know if what I feeling is really dysphoria and I don't have room to explore myself. I never had a sense of gender and now it's basically being all I can think. I'm anxious, stressed and getting headaches because sometimes I'll be sure and the next day I will just be apathetic. I already am apathetic but now it's worse

Gender dysphoria is the feeling of discomfort or distress that might occur in people whose gender identity differs from their sex assigned at birth or sex-related physical characteristics. Transgender and gender-diverse people might experience gender dysphoria at some point in their lives. However, some transgender and gender-diverse people feel at ease with their bodies, with or without medical intervention. A diagnosis for gender dysphoria is included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), a manual published by the American Psychiatric Association. The diagnosis was created to help people with gender dysphoria get access to necessary health care and effective treatment. The term focuses on discomfort as the problem, rather than identity. Gender dysphoria might cause adolescents and adults to experience a marked difference between inner gender identity and assigned gender that lasts for at least six months. The difference is shown by at least two of the following: * A difference between gender identity and genitals or secondary sex characteristics, such as breast size, voice and facial hair. In young adolescents, a difference between gender identity and anticipated secondary sex characteristics. * A strong desire to be rid of these genitals or secondary sex characteristics, or a desire to prevent the development of secondary sex characteristics. * A strong desire to have the genitals and secondary sex characteristics of another gender. * A strong desire to be or to be treated as another gender. * A strong belief of having the typical feelings and reactions of another gender. Gender dysphoria may also cause significant distress that affects how you function in social situations, at work or school, and in other areas of life. Gender dysphoria might start in childhood and continue into adolescence and adulthood. Or you might have periods in which you no longer experience gender dysphoria. You might also experience gender dysphoria around the time of puberty or much later in life.