Women will never let down and be soft if a man isn't safe

It's not masculine vs feminine "energy", it's behaviours. Guarded behaviour vs comfortable behaviour. Guys mellow down when they are comfortable too.

I have to disagree with this take. I’m a woman who would be classified as in her ”masculine” energy all the time. And it’s because I was loved, encouraged and accepted growing up. I grew up with no real influence of gender roles and was never discouraged from feeling or doing something because I was a girl. I’m independent because being dependent on someone isn’t logical. I’m stoic because I know you can’t control what other people do, only your own reaction. And I am solution driven because the faster I can solve problems the sooner I can get back to having fun. Your advice to the question should have been do nothing. If she’s happy and healthy being in her “masculine” energy, leave her alone and find someone else who fits what you want in a woman.

A CRUCIAL part of making it safe for women to be in their “feminine energy” is also to promptly keep one’s promises (ie. do chores without needing to be reminded) and make sure she isn’t responsible for all the planning/organization! Women can’t relax if they are carrying the majority of the mental load!!!

To me it sounds like the man is insecure in his masculinity and in himself. Like he has to "compete" against her and he feels like he is about to loose.

Either accept her as she is, or go find someone who “fits” with your idea of “feminine”. 🙄

How’s about don’t try to make her something she isn’t? My husband and I butted heads in the infancy of our marriage because he was constantly expecting me to be “other”. Instead of liking me flaws and all, he saw me as a block of marble that he needed to cut chunks off of to suit his vision, rather than just appreciating that I could be used as is, and had value as is. Finally, one day when he complained I was “too independent”, I snapped back and said that these were all the things you claimed to love about me and now you want it to change. Then I asked him during which period was he lying. Don’t make her feel like she needs to learn to be comfortable without you.

This “masculine/feminine” energy seems like a covert/indirect way of saying “behaving according to gender norms I was acculturated to expect the opposite sex should stick to”.

Being confident, a leader, rational and strong … those are attributes in a woman that will usually make men feel insecure. Being aloof, independent, self sufficient, and emotionally closed off … also attributes making men feel insecure. But not all of these attributes are symptoms of negative aspects of a person’s relational being. Some men feel like they also need to personify these attributes in order to be men. What’s the deal? Can’t we just be strong and confident without being “masculine”? Any of us?

Independence is not pathology in either gender.

Why is he in relationship with someone with characteristics he dislikes? Hope she figured out his true intention to wanting to change her nature and dumped him.

your girlfriend has too much masculine energy? i’ll date her. 😏

I've never heard of this term 'feminine/masculine energy,' but it sounds like bunk. I am a woman. My energy is what it is.

Let's aspire to all be a safe place where our partner can feel accepted, loved, and inspired to be whoever their authentic self is. =)

I am always going to be sn independent lil cuss. If you prove to me you're worth it, I will be your partner, but i will never be your subordinate. If you don't like my "masculine energy" the door's over there, if you just leave or let me go I'll wish you well. And yes, I'm coming up on 30 years of marriage to a man who values me as an equal.

I foresee that masculine/feminine “energy” as a concept will be out the door in a few decades. It’s so diminutive to categorize socially-constructed personality traits into the gender binary. It also doesn’t have to take trauma to have a biological female develop a sense of independence, assertion, or stoicism - these can all develop through parenting styles or cultural norms. On the flip side, men *could* be taught to be more emotionally open very easily.

It sounds like you are describing me! I am a lot more apt to be guarded because of how I was treated in my family of origin. I was the scapegoat; nothing I did was right or good enough. Thankfully, I have been working on myself the past few years. At 60, I finally came to love myself. I will be 62 next month and am awaiting my perfect mate. I'm happy that I have not settled for less than I deserve! ❤

Thank you for not believing in these feminine or masculine type of things!! I was ready to square up 😭

This is the healthiest response I’ve ever heard

Nope. She is being bad ass… he doesn’t want that. She has a brain in her head and he doesn’t want her to use it. He wants her to be subservient.

I completely disagree! If my boyfriend even dares to try to change who I am based on bullshit concepts as 'masculine' and 'feminine': Here is the door, go! I am who I am, deal with it, embrace it, or piss off. I bow to no social concept, no clichee, NO MAN! I leave room for improvement, room for growth, room for adaptation. I will however never change for someone. It's not necessary, for I am and that must be enough. Leave, my advice is leave to the boyfriend..

Thank you for this! I think people would consider me to act in my “masculinity” but you summed it up perfectly. It’s all as a result of the things I’ve been through, not feeling accepted, loved, respected or protected. However, when I let my guard down with people that I can be myself with and show me kindness. Sorry to say, but if a guy is asking this question then the girl is not in the right relationship. Sometimes us independent girls just need extra love and kindness to drop our guard. Sometimes we are who we are out of circumstance and not by choice. Thank you😢🙂

Oof, the question is _so_ creepy.

Stereotypically masculine women are probably my favourite kind of gal. Great fun to be with.

I cannot express how grateful I am to have found your channel. I may never in my life find a man this emotionally intelligent. But, this still gives me hope in miracles.

Well said stoic is the way I describe me. Masculine has been miss used like so many other things.

My entire marriage I was the one who had to worry about the chores, the yardwork, landscaping, dog grooming/care, cleaning the garage, making sure that the tortoise habitat would be suitable, painting the house, keeping the autos clean, and more. I was in constant "preserving my life" mode. My husband grocery shopped, cooked (not clean up afterwards), and took the autos in for oil changes. He thought that was fine because he did not mind a slovenly house and yard. My opinion was that if he was going to deprive me of a husband then I was going to deprive him of a wife. Prior to that decision I had many, many conversations about the imbalance and he said that he doesn't care. I made sure to have opposite work hours/days off from him, I moved into the guest room, and prepared financially for leaving him. I finally did after 11 years.

Big tip… when she asks for something please try to remember and get it done if you cannot or prefer not to it’s cool but say you can’t or won’t. We stay closed off because when we have tried to rely on others we are reminded why we can’t, it’s not your fault we were raised that way…

This was such a beautiful moving answer, Jimmy. I am truly in awe of your empathy and awareness. Truly, deeply, THANK YOU.

#1) Say what you mean. Quit using cutsie sayings, and come out with it. What EXACTLY do you mean when you say 'male energy'? #2) She is who she is. If you don't like her 'male energy' (whatever that's supposed to mean), break it off now and find someone more suited to you.

We should never expect our partners to change. However, needs and feelings on both ends are completely valid. The most we can do is to communicate about it openly and honestly.

Thank you for doing this amazing work. Women are so criticized for not being enough. I used to feel so self-conscious because of the constant criticism, so I could never really be myself. A lot of the time, we feel like our only choice is to let men mold us in order to gain acceptance. Thank you for helping men understand there is a better way for everyone.😊

Masculine energy for a woman is when she is in survival mode, she has to be tough. If you’re the reason she’s in survival mode, bc she can’t depend on you and doesn’t feel loved or heard or seen by you, you’ve given her no choice but to have masculine energy bc you aren’t embodying masculine energy yourself. When you protect and provide and give her what she needs to thrive then she will be in her feminine receiving energy, she will know that you’ve got the masculine covered. These are subconscious things, and masculine and feminine will naturally balance when they are functioning in their roles as they were meant to. Women will bloom and thrive when they are safe and loved and treated well, and they feel safe to be feminine, and she gives back ten fold what she is given to her. That’s why men who treat their mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters well are rich men in some way or another, bc they bless themselves by blessing the women in their life. It’s in women’s nature to care for those they love, reciprocity is on a heart level in this regard. For an example, my partner treats me like an indentured servant bc he knows I have no other options as a stay at home mom, and that keeping my family together is of the utmost importance to me. He treats me very badly and wonders why I’m not fun to be around. I’m plenty fun. Not going to be fun for a tyrant. Not going to go out of my way for an overlord. Not going to ask him how his day was just so he’ll have an excuse to hear himself talk…when he makes sure I can’t leave the house. If a man is asking this question, I wonder his motives. I wonder if he loves her at all. Femininity isn’t just being something shiny to look at.

I also feel like people often get the whole dynamic of masculine versus feminine completely twisted, Like they're not even seeing it from the right angle. It's usually a difference of naivety versus maturity. Usually the traits that people see as being feminine are just more common in people that are younger and don't know better. As we get older we learn more we know more, and we do more. There's also a certain level of strength that comes with that, So it's silly to be afraid of it. It's something we all develop for the sake of surviving. But also there can be times of, mother versus lover. If I feel like everything I'm doing is an expectation, like I have to perform at a certain level to meet someone's needs, Then I basically feel like I'm having to mother them. Because of the constant pressure of those demands, it pulls me completely out of the mood of being vulnerable and free with that person. And for those of us who end up on the receiving end of these situations, we can always tell when we're being judged for it, even when it's not being explicitly said. we can tell when someone's being condescending and we really don't appreciate it, But then if we start to shut off because we're tired of dealing with it, we often get vilified for those feelings. And because we're just being constantly pushed away instead of being truly understood and accepted, It's only natural for us to grow resentful.

This is so 1000% accurate that it brought me to tears!😢

More men like this, please.

Women can sometimes start off in their feminine energy, later in the relationship turn into their masculine. That happened to me in my past relationship as a way to protect myself.

Up to her to receive yes AND simultaneously, of equal weight, is how safe the MAN is in his delivery, being-ness & inner strength, solidity of identity. THEN she can & will drop her guard. Many of us do not feel safe being vulnerable because it literally was not safe growing up! So be gentle, kind, compassionate with us, and don’t defend yourself aka fight if we have issues to take up. Listen & hold space. That requires a whole nother conversation tho, cuz a man’s got to be grounded in himself and who is he first of all in order to do that. Great content Jimmy. Thanks for helping so many of us feel seen & for helping us understand each other 🫶🏽🙏🏽❤️‍🔥🙌🏽

you can't get anyone to be anyway other than how they want to be. you can explain how you're feeling and what it is you're missing, what you need, but at the end of the day, how she is, is ultimately up to her. people change, relationships change, you've probably changed too. maybe what you need is to sit down and talk about where you both are now, in yourselves and with each other? Do you still have compatible wants and needs? make sure you listen at least as much as you talk. your needs are important, and so are hers. And remember to do so with empathy and understanding, for her and for yourself. Couples counselling is also an option.

It’s not masculine energy it’s just he’s being overshadowed and can’t handle it. Believe it or not some women are just happy the way they are and don’t need men it has nothing to do with childhood, they just want a man, but don’t need them.

I agree , its hard to answer the question without understanding what is masculine to him.

RUN, GF!!

A woman blossoms in her femininity when she feels emotionally safe and honored.

Isn't is funny that these kind of questions are just another form of control, which keeps you from having the Safety you are both seeking. Love this answer.

I appreciate so much you highlighting the complexity in the situations when answering these questions. Always taking both perspectives in consideration. Thank you!!

In her masculine energy? Maybe that is just her character? Let her be the way she is ? Or do you want to date a cute performer. It’s so weird when women are treated like they have no inherent character to themselves.

Your videos could be exactly what's need to bridge the chasm between men and women that has kept them from truly understanding, appreciating and respecting each other since, well, the beginning of patriarchal culture. Women NEVER feel safe around men initially. Men don't realize that and if they do, they exploit it to their advantage. Men, no matter how nice they behave, are seen by women as a threat and it's only the drive to procreate that forces women to let down their guard enough to get involved with men. If women didn't have the need to bear children, I think we'd do just fine simply being acquaintances with men in a professional way. Women's physical and emotional vulnerability puts us at extreme risk from predators and men are completely oblivious to that daily reality for women.

Perfect answer, Jimmy! You could be talking about me! I was fortunate to meet a man who must watch your videos and we are building an amazing relationship. Communication and mutual respect are definitely keys to this. It has not been easy for me, but the results are worth the work. Thank you, Jimmy 🥰

If I was granted a few of my wishes to be fulfilled, it's very likely that one would be me wising that all men could hear Jimmy talk for an hour every day. In a world of messed-up guys believing that the patriarchy oppressing the vast majority of humans knows how to fulfill their needs, while devaluing the feminine half of humanity as well as their own human emotions, I'm so grateful every time I hear a dissenting voice seeming to understand that the inequality of partnerships is the real culprit behind the distress we're all feeling. Bless you, Jimmy. May all the days of your life from now onward be happy ones.

Thank you. Important to understand.

When will people accept that gender is learnt through culture and there is no mystic inherent energy or essence?

As a masculine woman I hate it when people try to feminise me, like no- there isn’t anything wrong with a woman being masculine at all. This video was never about feeling masculine or feminine it was about being guarded vs feeling comfortable. I also feel threatened someone “making” me feel feminine, I cry, I talk about my feelings etc but I’m still masculine. And being independent has nothing to do with being masculine or feminine, it’s a disrespect to feminine women that they aren’t independent.

Accept her as she is. When you say she's too much in her masculine, that tells me, you aren't in yours enough. What you see in others, you see in you. You are struggling with being masculine and you are taking it out on her. Food for thought.

only problem with this argument i have is the validation of said persons "need" (you mean want, almost assuredly) of a feminine counterpart. how sad

I want safe for both ❤ Thanks for the emotional coaching brother, God bless you

Very well explained! 👏🏻♥️ What's wrong if she is guarded and independent? If she is smart, kind, reasonable and compassionate then I think she is far better than most of them out there. Either accept her as she is or go and find someone who satisfies your idea of "feminine".

You nailed it 😢😢. I'm one of those "masculine" women.

as a young woman who believes she is too masculine in a relationship, this is quite insightful :0 and yea, that described my thoughts quite well

when you said I don't believe in masculine and feminine crap, you bought a loyal subscriber, god forbid I hate those theories of masculine and femininity, I even had this as a red flag in a person or in a dating advice, if someone mentions this crap I am out! and You caught my attention ! Instantly...Love from India.

She is likely reacting to his behavior. He shouldn't be trying to change her. He needs to gain insight and change himself.

I dont really agree because I'm pretty masc and it's not to protect myself, it's just because that is who I am. I've been this way since I was a kid, I was always running around and wrestling with boys, super athletic, don't like to wear super feminine clothing, etc. I don't think it's right to jump to conclusions abt masc behavior but I definitely see this being a potential reason for masc behavior.

What an amazing response Jimmy.

Oh, Jimmy. Your understanding of women is incredible. Thank you. Again. For doing such great work on this chanel. You are such a precious gift to the world.

Jimmy you explain things so well every time, I sit here listening and think 'yeah' he's hit the nail on the head yet again. Thank you I am so pleased I found you and your channel. Cheers Obelia From Australia 🦘

This information was both powerful & truly insightful! Thank you!!! ❤

Thank you, Jimmy. I couldn't agree more. I'm single today for those very reasons.. why do some men want to change some women. Why can't they just accept us as we are????

I've been told I have more masculine energy my entire life. I don't know how to be any different. I also feel like I'm still very feminine so these concepts are always too abstract and weird for me.

Wise words. Thanks. Believing in my agency and responsibility are key.

thank you for responding like you did

my theory is guy who sent the message wants his female partner to be relient on him. for him to be the "alpha" the one who takes care of everything. which is a terrible mindset . sometimes thing can be that they are guarded, but other times it can be confidence. they are capable of taking care of themselves . why do certain things/actions have to be masculine or feminine ? makes no sense to me.

Ooooooooh! So good 😊. Just subscribed! Thank you Jimmy 🙏. My husband and I have fully embraced the masc/fem thing and it’s saved our marriage. My understanding is that because I was born a female and have fem hormones then I will need to operate in “mostly” feminine energy ❤

That's why so many woman in masculine energy

Strong secure men allow women to be in their feminine energy. This guy probably wants her to be the breadwinner and wonders why she acts masculine.

Very well said Jimmy, I appreciate your balanced, fair, harmonious, articulate and eloquent expressions. Granted, regarding masculine and feminine energies, I invite you to further explore, IF the idea 💡 FEELS light 🪶to you. Various fields of science has been merging with spirituality, and though there are different labels, ultimately, they’re all saying that everything’s made of the same, interconnected Cosmic Energy. And since we exist within a physical world-that contains the package deal of OPPOSITES/CONTRASTS/DUALITY/POLARITY-all the energies are basically divided into two (like 1 as in Unity Consciousness splitting into 2, separation consciousness, in order to MIRROR each other as a RELATIONSHIP). Otherwise, THE ONE 1 would never KNOW-via experiential knowledge/Living Wisdom-what it’s like to Be Self and Other, though conceptually understood. So therefore there are feminine and masculine energies that help us to better understand our WHOLE essence. Though I don’t resonate with everything that Teal Swan shares, she did do a great job of teaching how women will become more feminine (their nature) when they feel SAFE (like Jimmy shared). I know, because I was in the Army, and was more masculine energetically than feminine; plus, there’s the male-dominated military-within an already patriarchal world-that also heavily conditions everyone to be more left brain 🧠 centered, rather than a balance of both. In addition, throughout most of my life, I’ve been more masculine in my energies-even a tomboy who was the only girl on my baseball team (though before 5 yo, I was more feminine, like wanting to wear pink but not dark blue). I’m also more masculine around passive men, as if to imply, “Step aside, I’ll take it from here”😄 (or even around women, children, elderly, animals, insects, bugs, trees, plants, etc. who seem like they could use assertive and protective energies). I intend to increasingly Be a harmonious 🎶, ebb and flow 🪩 Cosmic Dance 💃🏻🕺 of BOTH, as I further master energies within. I trust that as we further open our minds (with discernment, to avoid being gullible)-and further open our hearts (with healthy boundaries, to avoid being a doormat)-the more we will be able to utilize many energetic tools available to us, to include a deeper understanding of our energetic, core essence.

BEAUTIFULLY SAID.

Thank you so much for this... I really love what you bring to the table, but I was afraid to watch this video. I was worried you were going to start saying things that went against what I expect from you. Thanks for staying on track. The world needs to hear what you put out...🥳😊💖💞

I'm crying watching this video, this is true. We act like all those things because we are trigerred. Thank you for your video, it helped me so much who i am and it's ok.

What's the emoji of a very big heavy thick slap on his face? 😂 Well done Jimmy 🎉

I have never felt more understood within a few seconds on this topic. However, I also am naturally this way, I’ve always been, despite my past experiences. The issue with some men is that it’s also based on sexism and some men feeling like their masculinity is somehow threatened, in my experience. If I had a dime for the number of times men sent me messages or said they didn’t want to date me because I had my life together due to a business and career I created that I love, I would be rich. In some cases, people need to put their egos to the side. (Again I am saying this is just some men, not everyone! Don’t come at me!) 😅

“Masculine” to me would mean handlebar mustaches, grizzly bear chest hair, peeing standing up and being able to aim it in any direction you want, and having an Adam’s apple🤔🤷🏽‍♀️or something pretty similar. If she doesn’t have all those things, in my opinion, she’s not masculine. If she’s got her own bank account and job and she likes it that way, I’d say she’s just independent and self-reliant. If having those qualities isn’t directly causing someone else to be starving, bleeding, suffocating, having broken bones, or dying, I’d say they’re good qualities.

Everyone has a mix of “feminine” and “masculine” energy. There’s nothing wrong with living in both, however far on the spectrum someone is. Variety is nice, and it’s comforting to know that someone isn’t compact into one. Both people should naturally balance with one another if they’re compatible and love each other.

I'm kinda icked out by this question, which is essentially: how do I get my gf/wife to change to MY idea of how women should act. I think Jimmy is giving this guy way too much credit bc anyone even using the term "masculine energy" is sus. I'm so sick of this pointlessly gendered behavior shaming of "feminine" and "masculine" energy, esp bc it usually comes from people who lean red pill (read: rigid gender roles where the man is "dominant" and "powerful" yet can't have emotions, while the woman is docile, demure, deferential and nurturing). Burn that shit down! ✊️ It suffocates both women and men, but women get the worse end of the stick. And the idea that women who are independent are damaged in some way is insulting, as opposed to recognizing that independent women are just responsible adults. Well, I'm wholly in my femini e energy and this woman is powerful enough to light up a city and independent enough to explore the world. If someone has a problem with that they aren't in my league. Don't step up if you can't keep up. If that threatens you, you need to do some introspection on why an equal partner makes you uncomfortable.

wow, this explains me in a nut shell. I feel so seen!

Facts I get like this sometimes

🤔👏👏👏👏 That was very well done. Thank you Jimmy 😊💜💜💜

Hello. I am pretty much all the time in my masculine,because of work i have to take that stance. And i am.also pretty independent and used to doing everything myself and that scares some men away because they realise i dont need them to carry my bags or change my light bulbs but the fact that i can do all of things does not change the fact that it would be nice if my partner did them for me without me having to ask. Because at the end of the day i want to relax and leave that "do everything alone " energy at the door..

I appreciate this 😢

The pseudoscientific nonsense people are ascribing to because of dating podcasts is genuinely concerning. There’s no such thing as masculine or feminine energy, people need to stop being euphemistic and say exactly what they mean, do not hide any of the specific (and more than likely sexist) gendered expectations you have for your partner behind the more palatable nebulosity of these words.

This is the most beautiful and cathartic thing I have ever heard

Thanks!

I would love to see an inverse of this "Help! My Boyfriend has too much Feminine Energy"

Oops you're talking about me! I get criticised constantly for it which makes it more prominent.

This is so beautiful

I was afraid you will tell something else. Thank you for this video!

It means you count only on yourself with family as backup because of their proven track record so your ars is never out there BUT really get excited when a man wants you so much he offers his all and you see it.

Damn bro love you so much.. the world needs more men to have understanding life yours..

Masculine energy usually means hyperproductive , hyperfocused on money (as there was no one to provide for her ),,closed off emotions & the need to be the BOSS , run the relationship usually attracts passive or covert narcs to NEED someone tell them wht to do as they were NEVER the boss but just a doer /employ all their life , .talking from my own experience

🇺🇲❤️🇺🇦 Look at you Jimmy I have been watching your videos I'm guessing almost two years I'm not in a romantic relationship I got hooked because my live in granddaughter became a teenager and difficult and some of your videos really help I'm very happy you are flourishing I watch everyone I see pop up Your the greatest much love to you and yours ❤

During the isolation period of the pandemic, my partner cut off their hair, kept it, and glues it to their face and stylized it with a moustache and beard, and dresses up as a gay cross dressing pirate. While I hear what you are saying about creating loving and caring safe spaces, yeah, I can't. I just can't. 🤷‍♂️

Let's be real, if he hasn't committed to her, he's forcing her to remain in that "masculine" energy. It's safer Tham trusting a guy that hasn't earned it. 🙃 And probably doesn't deserve it.