When I was a child, I called the operator and asked for Roland Rat's telephone number, she told me he died in the Kings Cross station fire. True story

“I have wiped a Sontaran’s nose” NHS Track & Trace: 🚨 *Please Isolate Immediately* 🚨

As soon as Ashens had said 'we must sing the song!' I got a youtube advert with music and was extremely confused. Wonderful timing.

I worked at HMV. They have had to start selling more toys, tshirts, mugs ect because there's less and less need for shops selling dvds and cds.

Damn it Stuart get the goose out of storage so we can see it fight the dragon.

As much as I despise Gogglebox, I’m watching a man unbox a mug. It’s a slippery slope.

That dinosaur thing, wins by default. Noise. Shits eggs. Most definitely could take on the goose.

"Alex murphy was blown away" just makes it sound like he was really impressed by something

Those dragon eggs looked like the infinity stones that Capcom did.

That tiny little hand caught me off guard.

I like how the "extra light" is barely even noticeable

Stuart Ashen singing the Robocop song made me smile the most I have all year 😂

This is just like Christmas for people with no family

That dragon is the greatest toy in existence and has single-handedly (single-footedly?) ruined my childhood. If I had one as a kid, I would have made my Amazonian Pirate Queen Jem doll ride it over all my Barbies and cause massive havoc in general. That would have been truly, truly outrageous.

"Has all the beats of a comedy without any jokes." most accurate Big Bang review I have ever heard.

Ashens: "that was the wrong kind of drumroll its ruined everything" Me: good old ashens thats why we still watch him after all these years.

That Ian Beale shirt is the best thing my eyes have ever seen.

with the movement in the frame, I misread the label of that Big Bang Theory pass holder as "pot holder", and was like "great! I can press Sheldon Cooper's face up against a hot surface!"

I'm surprised that mystery boxes are still a 'thing'

The catalog is a fat nostalgia hit though! I remember as a kid (at least growing up lower middle class,) getting these massive toy catalogs around Christmas was the highlight of the year! My brother and I would circle things and cut some of the pictures out and stick them on our bedroom wall. We both kinda knew we were never gonna get any of the things in the catalog, but it was like going to the toy store whenever we wanted! (Especially since actual toy store trips were rare.)

The fly mutant from TMNT was Baxter Stockman.

"That's like something Batman wished he had." Like parents!

"Everyone loves a bad boy" "Yeah not a terrorist though!"

I had that safe in the eighties and as a massive Doctor Who fan in the States, painted it blue, and used it as a TARDIS for my GI Joes lol...

JCPenney was once a large chain of brick-and-mortar department stores, similar to its main competitor, Sears Roebuck & Co., but both companies have seen heavy downturns in the age of Amazon and other online ordering. Both JCPenney and Sears have long had a substantial mail-order business, though that's likely also gone downhill thanks to Amazon. I used to love flipping through the Christmas/year-end Sears general catalogue every year, when it showed up in July or August or so, with its 600+ pages of all sorts of stuff a 12-year-old almost definitely could not afford.

"good god there's a Sontaran"

That Iain Beale T-shirt is the greatest superhero tee I’ve ever clapped eyes on. Much wanted.

Really sweet to see Stuart's joy at being able to take the Robocop out of it's packaging!

"Oh no. I've been got by a bastard." MUERTE

Dragons are different in different cultures. In some places dragons are seen as animals, in others as demi-gods. In some cases dragons are a brontosaurus with tiny vestigial wings that lay easter eggs

"and there's the 2-XL robot that look as if it's having a right strop" Gold, Stuart. Gold.

I had a Roland Rat pencil case back in the 80’s...followed by a Family Ness one. All kids of the 80’s were raised on a diet of commercialism and it was a beautiful thing!

More things should come with free Sontarans.

26:33 “Japanese speakers do say in the comments what that says” I think that’s Chinese, Stuart

Bloody hell, finding a blind bag in a blind box. Quintessential Ashens content, right there.

32:45 "I should totally back and play the fourth at some point, apparently it's really good" It's quite a good game, It's the first out of the main series that breaks off from the traditional formula. It's also one of the games which port to the Wii version was really nice (they even added some extra stuff like extra game modes).

J.C. Penney is an American brick and mortar store, though they are on the verge of going out of business.

That toy catalog was a blast to the past. I remember playing with that Jurassic Park set with the fences and shit like crazy when I was a boy.

"The head's not moving much but it lights up" - That's because you broke it's neck a few seconds ago.

That JC Penny Christmas toy catalog was a blast to see. We used to get the Christmas catalog every year. There was always so much stuff from it I wanted and I almost never got anything from the catalog itself that I asked for, haha. I did have the Jurassic Park compound (still have some of it in storage) but sadly I lost a lot of the smaller pieces and my dog chewed up one of the pieces that came with it. I used to take the roof off of it, stick it on my head and pretend I was Raiden from Mortal Kombat.

Oh my that dragon is the same thing as THE GOOSE from the Easter special years ago

Ah, I'm so glad to hear Ashen's so excited to open a 1990's toy. Truely heart warming such a trying time with the old pando going on!

Goddamn Ashens has to be the greatest youtuber still on this platform in terms of quality and consistency. I started watching him when I was 12 cuz I remember talking about Chef Excellence in like 7th grade but now I turn 21 in 2 days and here I am still laughing at a (new) Ashens video. Life changes a lot and, not always for the best, but some things never leave you. One of those things is Ashens!!!

So long the days of J.C. Penny's, Sears and Toys r'us catalogs 😭

For those wondering, the socks, mug & travel pass I can't find on amazon so £0 amazon value. The Santaron seems to be £12, the blind bag is £14, so technically, it's not wrong about the '£25' amazon value but its how much worth the items in the box have to the owner really.

Please let us see Dragon vs The Goose, we need it

Awww come on, that Ian Beale t-shirt is pure ａｅｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ!

"He puts on his tape of extreme bollocking" Extreme Bollocking were a proto-newstyle, extreme Jazz/Crunk fusion trio from Glasgow. I had that Robocop with the leg holster thing, it was massive.

When Ashens did his "dinosaur" voice he sounded like Techmoan....

I can see the mug being sold at 0.50 in Poundland.

"In the history of beards, or 'beardstory' as we call it in the trade." For the last time Stuart, no we don't. I feel like you're not taking your Beardy Bastards Bureau membership seriously.

Loved hearing the old Robocop theme after all these years.

This makes me wish for the days before Christmas flipping through the Sears Wishbook.

I can't believe THE GOOSE had a sequel after so long.

"That's the least convincing beard in beard history" Someone needs to send Ashens a copy of Twisted Pair.

Those Transformers were from the ‘90s Generation 2 line, which is why Prime’s trailer was like that, and why Megatron was a tank

Don't you ever caress socks with that little hand again!

Point of interest/fact/contention, Stuart: There were actually two Sontarans played by "Mike the cool person" from The Young Ones, namely Commander Stark from The Pandorica Opens, and General Staal from The Sontaran Stratagem (as well as one of the Mentors from Mindwarp in the Trial of a Time Lord arc, back in Six's era, but he's not a Sontaran, so we'll forget him). But, since the box says "Sontaran General", we can assume that the figurine represents General Staal.

I adored the way he looked into that toys magazine, all full of childlike wonder.

45 minutes of Ashens. Just after midnight in Europe. Thanks for corrupting my sleep cycle, again!!

ashens is basically the only thing keeping me alive at this rate

i liked the part where the dinosaur dragon moonwalked and then shat himself.

41:00 Oddly, the SNES controllers briefly visible are the Europe/Japanese multi colour button versions, rather than the US "Palma violets" style

JCPenny was one of the largest department stores on the continent. It's in liquidation at the moment because of poor business decisions and Amazon, but in the 90s, basically if your local mall didn't have one (or a Macy's or similar), that's how you knew it was one of the crappier malls. I had that Jurassic Park T-Rex AND the Super Scope 6 on the cover.

Actually that wasn't an impersonation of Roland Rat, that was Blakey from On the Buses "I'll get you Butler"

"All the beats of a comedy but no fucking jokes" Savage and accurate.

that tiny hand scared the shit out of me

Having been 7 years old in 1994, I vividly remember flipping through that catalog and dogearing the pages that had stuff I wanted on them.

HMV stands for "Jumble Sale Shite". It's so sad seeing their decline.

8:37 lol, that tiny squishy hand is hilarious

would love a video of ashens showing off his collectables and set up

I was hoping so bad that the dragon would have the same music chip as the Goose

Those were the Generation 2 transformers, basically mostly repaints and slight remolds of the G1 figures they resold to the kids growing up in the early 90's that were too young for the 80's. I vividly remember that catalog as a kid, so much stuff in there I wanted for Christmas.

When he showed us the Toy Catalogue from JC Penneys the dinosaur section unlocked a memory...🗝🧠 I had that big moving dinosaur that blew smoke out of it nostrils...💨 It smelled weird...😬

His Master's Voice Says: _I love it when a MONSTROSITY comes together!_

the 'extra' light made no difference at all

It looks like Errol the hamster and not Kevin the Gerbil, in the sticker pack.

I'm pretty sure that was Errol the Hamster, who would often express his love for leeks.

Ashens , I was driving to work today singing , He is a Robot , he is a Cop , He is a Robo Cop .. 😂 imagine people all over the globe driving singing that ridiculous song .. cause you of you!

I am over the moon to see the return of the RoboCop song

I was 12 years old in 1994. That JCPenney catalog brought back a lot of memories. They were founded in 1902, and until 2011 operated both department stores and a catalog service. They filed for bankruptcy earlier this year, and are now barely surviving.

The knockoff dragon/dinosaur thing that makes compressed godzilla noises is the best thing ive seen in a long time and i want it so bad its like it was made for me

44:01 I had 2-XL as a kid. I really loved that thing back in the day.

RoboCop only has his original face so the mind of Alex Murphy didn't go insane.. they didn't want any human parts because it was a weakness

I find so funny that you have been reviewing stuff on that Safa for years and years and years and years and have little to no thumbnail image ever. Your sence of humour literally makes the channel. Well done there sir.

As a non-American, I only know JCPenney from "Dawn of the Dead" (1978). Back then, they were known as "Penney's". In the movie, it's the primarily featured shop with a big glass front. The protagonists use it as the basis for their zombie attacks, switching floors by use of the shop's escalators and elevator. Yay, movie trivia!

"It could fight The Goose" *attention intensifies*

If it matters, Robocop's pistol was designated the Auto-9. In real life it was a dressed up Beretta Raffica burst fire police and military pistol.

“Av got nuffin left”. I remember watching that and crying with laughter, gotta love squealy bealey😂

I will never tire of the Robocop song

For those from England that don't know what JCPenny is, its an American department store chain. the closest British equivalent I can think of would be Argos. The idea is that you would get these catalogs in the mail or whatever (I don't know how it worked I'm 19, these are before my time and I haven't been able to look into it too much) , look at what you want from it, and buy it from them. And much like the Argos catalog, in the 80s and 90s it was a kid's tradition to look through them to pick out what they wanted for Christmas. Amazingly they're still around despite the fact they keep closing stores and always have stuff on sale, I actually went there a lot when I was younger, my Mom used to take me there to shop for clothes.

I must confess.... I would quite like the Ian Beale T-shirt.

That was not Kevin the Gerbil, it was Errol the Welsh Hamster. EDIT - Anyone else feel nostalgically sentimental when they see puffy stickers?

Me: "The young ones" isn't that deep a reference And then I remember it's a show from the early 80's that's older than 80% of this channel's audience and weep softly for my aging, slowly becoming irrelevant self.

I have more nostalgia for Stuart's RoboCop song than the actual series.

The fly mutant from TMNT was Baxter Stockman, at least in the US version.

The oddly colored Optimus Prime is from Generation 2. Which was largely rehashes of the original figures with new flashy paintjobs, as well as new gimmicks.

The dragon thingy giving birth to coloured eggs on Ashens kitchen floor has to be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

@42:18 Little Smart Driver! What a throwback. I had that and loved it. Unfortunately it didn't take long before I was gifted tools and tore apart everything of the sort.

JC Penney was / is? a retail store, like Sears became. They were often the "anchor" store of a shopping mall. Same kind of general retail junk. The Penney store in the original Dawn of the Dead is one.