are you a traditional woman who deserves commitment ?

Hi sister, I want to start by saying..."May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." And that I would like to encourage you to first and foremost submit yourself to God and that you pray to the father in the name of the only begotten son of God and that you talk to wise and perhaps older sisters in the body of Christ for help, advice, etc. Here are some scriptures... 1 John 5:14-15 English Standard Version 14 And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him. 1 Timothy 5:1-2 English Standard Version Instructions for the Church 5 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity. Hebrews 13:4 English Standard Version 4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. 1 Corinthians 7:1-11 English Standard Version Principles for Marriage 7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.[a] 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:29-35 English Standard Version 29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. 32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. 2 Corinthians 13:14 English Standard Version 14 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

Don’t blame you. God bless you

Christians shouldn't be dating to begin with, so it's good that you are discouraged about it.

Me i last date back in 2019 staying with her in relationship for 2yrs after breaking up from each other I felt like maybe I did date for fun and at wrong time whereby I wasn't ready for marriage so right now i just wait for marriage no need to date for fun...

God bless you, that’s a blessing

I really hope you stand by that when you meet her.

@@MiaCarter7I do, if I'm dating a woman my intention is marriage

Same

Very unfortunate typo there. But yes, I know what you mean.

I’m 26 male felt the same way myself. Just met the godliest woman I’ve ever met and she is 29! Be patient and stay true to God!

​@@conhod10Aww that's sweet! God bless you both 🥰

Every woman who is ready for marriage loves this! That's one of the greenest flags my boyfriend has. He knows what kind of woman God wants for him and he knew right away that he wanted to do life with me and didn't beat around the bush about it. Very direct, intentional, and sweet. He never rushed me to give him an answer, he was my friend and made his intention to be my husband clear. It sounds scary to some women, but being sure and intentional in pursuit is one thing a man ready to get married should be.

You ma'am are a catch. Your husband will find you one day!

Amen, the bible explains that the world will dislike us or even hate us if we are not of it’s own, so if we are following Christ, a lot of people aren’t going to see eye to eye. But that’s fine, trust in God, that he will bring the right person into your life, and ask him to help you discern between those that will lead you astray, and those that will strengthen your faith.

And it's a shame that when you are intentional, people start playing games. The hard to get stuff 🙄

Hold on sis. He's coming.

My word, that is enough to make me doubt their claim to Christianity. If they were real Christians, they would appreciate that you are saving yourself for the right one.

God bless you

@@tammi67able God bless, you!

Mean what you say

That's how it started with my wife and I'm thankful for that. There was zero pressure from the start and we just gradually and naturally grew together. Weve been together almost 13 years now. Luckily for me she was raised old school like myself and was all for courting.

We live in an advanced world where technology, and influence is around. It's almost like you have to go through certain processes to see if this is the person God has for you. Unless the holy spirit directly tells you "He or She is the one" and usually that can take time

This is kind of the problem. You just mixed up dating and courting in your comment and then wonder why other people get confused. Dating and courting are 2 different things. Dating was always dating. It was always meant to just be friends hanging out until they decided if they liked each other in order to pursue a relationship. Courting was always meant for people who were serious about seeking marriage. It was always about being marriage minded first. It was never meant to be "casual" like dating. You didn't court someone you didn't have a lot of interest in. That's the whole point. Courting meant you really were interested and was hoping it would soon turn into an official relationship. That's not the same as dating. ANYONE can "date"..go on a bunch of dates forever and ever....not everyone "courts".

@@lisacox3750 Semantics. The point is being able to go on a lunch with someone with a pure mind. Not "Netflix and chill" mind.

@@KiCkiN828 That's good. I wonder if there will ever be push back against this current perverted culture of dating. How many hearts have to break before people get right with God? I suppose it's an age old tale.

Of you're a great woman who is truly seeking a husband to find. The things you mentioned shouldn't be and issue. There are many men of God looking to marry they just want godly women. Men for the streets act that of what you wrote. Those tend to be the men that don't want to wait for women who've given there value any to other men for free yet want them to pay.

Amén and God bless you. Pray and ask God to send you someone that He would himself choose for you.

​@@Wise-o.g. I have Christian girl friends who were introduced to other "Christian" brothers by aunties at church... They told me stories of those brothers running when my friends said at the beginning, I don't believe in sex before marriage. The church is a hospital.

@@daisiesandpandas1218 ok.

Those are simply not the men for you. ❤ A man who loves God and respects you as a beloved daughter of the King wouldn't merely crave your flesh. ✝️

The problem is alot of women fall for the trap of looking for the best man instead of a good man. They want it all. They'll meet a good man but he falls short of checking off a few of their boxes and passes him up because she's waiting for the "better option". He has to have all the same interest she has, he has to like everything she likes, he has to make $200k+ a year, he has to be highly active in the church, etc, etc the list never ends. If they date a guy who doesn't check off all the boxes they call it" settling".

​@@deadcell1 it's not "settling" if he does something to my heart. For me, he better be a Christian and have a gentle spirit. I don't care how much money he makes if he cares enough to step in my world and enjoy some things that I like to do, and I would do the same for him. I almost married a trekkie, and let's just say that wasn't the reason I broke up with him.

That’s right!

@@saywhatondat God bless you sister :) 💯🙏🏽

I'm so grateful that God did a works in you. Praise the Lord and I'm sure your wife is grateful too. I pray that all Christian men looking for a wife are also moved by the Holy Spirit to follow Allen and be intentional and honest. Praise the Lord again and I pray many blessings for you, your wife and your family.

Amen

Amen!! As do I.

Make certain that you don’t put him in the Friendzone.

@@harbar3000 😅, no I won't for sure.

Same

What you want and what you need are two different things. The real question is can you be with a woman who only gives you what you need?

Any sex before marriage is sin.Thats none negotiable.

I've also never been in a relationship, but here's a few tips I learned that I think are good for anyone to start at: - Solidify your relationship/identity in Christ before dating. If you don't have your identity in Christ developed/haven't met Jesus truly, then how can you/anyone expect to be in a relationship with another? - Determine the ultimate goal of dating: marriage (as defined Biblically, not worldly). If you just want to date/be in a relationship without looking for marriage (i.e casual dating), you're setting yourself up for failure and just wasting the other person's time. A general rule of thumb: If you realize you're at a point right now where you can't marry or don't want to, then don't enter in a dating relationship. - Continue to improve yourself daily and work towards marriage (if you desire marriage). Learn about God's original designs for male and female (Genesis/Scripture) and live that out. Continue to read His word, and surround yourself with GODLY (this is required) mentors who are in a GODLY relationship with their spouse. Seek examples in Scripture of godly men and women, and ask your mentors questions that they'd be comfortable talking about. God bless and hope this helps!

God bless you, pray and Ask God to send you someone that He would want for you

What has helped me is to pray, and ask God to give you clear vision of the wife and mother of your children He wants for you. What does her heart look like? Does she worship Jesus? What personal values does she have? Ask yourself what does this woman do when you aren't around? Does she have a lot of friends? Is she a leader of a club? Does she feel most comfortable at home rather than going out? Is she goofy or loud or reserved? Get a clear idea of the traits you're looking for - 5 to 10. Then get an idea of your deal breakers. If ANY of these come up, it's a hard pass. She may be *someone's* match, but not yours. I wrote it down after working it out with some guidance from an elder I trust, and I take my little note with me on dates. I look at it before and after each date. Before, to remind myself of what I'm looking for. After, to reflect on what happened while the facts are still fresh - what did or did not happen compared to what I *wanted* to happen. I hope this is helpful to anyone that needs it. ❤✝️ And above all, trust that if you feel the call for a spouse and marriage, that God wants that for you too and is preparing you both for each other.

The serious relationship should not happen until after you both know that's what you want. There's nothing wrong with dating if you honor each other and honor God by not crossing lines that should not be crossed.

Yep I agree. Courting should be pure and innocent. As friends. No sexual mentality. Then when you decide you like their personality and want to marry, save the sexual mentality for the wedding day. Our media has everyone thinking we are a bunch of animals unable to control our mentality but we can and it's beautiful. I think that's how old school courting was operated. Wish it was still like that.

Same, I feel like all men value outer beauty more than anything, even Christian men. But I shouldn't complain because even as a woman I cannot totally disregard appearance either. So what do you do when you're appearance isn't enough? People just tell me I'm kind, sweet, smart all that but that's just it. It seems so unfair that God's allowed me to be born ugly and unattractive if I still desire to be married. I just want Him to take this desire away so I wouldn't desire anything at all anymore.

@@Nothingbutdust_someone once told me calling myself ugly is the same as calling God ugly because we were made in his image. The Bible says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Jesus tells us that every hair on our head is numbered. God does not make any mistakes. You are not alone my brother/sister. You have earthly desires but God has greater plans for you right now. Seek him first and he will take care of all the rest in his perfect timing. And if it is of any comfort to you, I am 25 and have never been in a relationship before either. I’m still waiting on him. Focus on building your relationship with him because that’s more important than any temporary thing we can gain in this world

@@sydum Thank you, some days it's easier but the pain is always there regardless. I'm 32 this year and still waiting. I've also never been in a relationship before so I don't know, I can't find anyone in my age group whom I can relate to. People and friends and even relatives are starting to distance themselves from me because our lives are nothing alike anymore. It's becoming increasingly difficult to have to see and hear them talk about their everyday lives which all revolves around their families, children and partners all the time. I've also been told by a doctor some time ago already that I might not have much time left to have children because of previous health conditions. I'm honestly getting a little frustrated with God's timing but I still trust Him that He will see me through until the end. I'm not expecting anything and I've stopped praying about it because it's not something He promised us either nor an easy life. Sometimes we just have to accept His will whatever that may be. That's what I believe.

How do you mean? Like, if someone only wants to date and marry?

Or women need to choose the men who they can get not the men they hope to get

You “drop” guys? Red flag

​@@mikemcnut3204 it's a red flag that a woman stands on her boundaries and doesn't take garbage?

Praying and trusting God for a God fearing wife pays.Trusting God for a man after God's own heart

No it’s not cheating unless the two of you have communicated you’re seeing other people, and that you’re not exclusively dating.

It's only cheating if you have both agreed to go exclusive. If I'm dating someone and I'm not emotionally invested with that person yet, I'm not going to have a problem if he's dating others as well.

Haha I'm in the same boat. I got divorced because long story short, abuse. I think people forgot what love is. People say I love you but what they mean is "You make me feel good". There's no such thing as "I love you but..." Pure love is different. I don't judge anyone who don't know pure love because it's taken me this long to understand it. But pure love gives and doesn't expect anything in return. I forgot what bible verse but it explains love. Love is kind, isn't boastful, is slow to anger etc. I think there should be an entire bible study on love. And how to love.

Ruslan

A lot might be like that. But you only need one to be the right one for you. So he is worth the wait.

It disappoints me how many women allow singleness to make their own heart’s bitter towards men. Most women don’t know how to even invite most men into their lives. They get too caught up in “it’s okay, God will send my husband to me.” But yet they do nothing to show or to let a man even pursue them. And I think that mentality doesn’t make sense. A hunter can’t hunt a deer that doesn’t leave tracks. Read that sentence again if you have to

If u see the guys u like in relationships they had to start somewhere, so can you 🙏🏽

I've seen it already, Amen ))

Hi, your job is to make your intentions known. How she responds is not in your control and it is not your responsibility. Just do your part. When a woman responds poorly to you move on because she isn’t the one. It doesn’t make her bad and it doesn’t make you bad. It just means that God has better for you. As you are seeking a wife make sure that you are also seeking God and asking for his confirmation and approval of a woman. Also don’t be hard on yourself for what doesn’t work out. Just stay consistent and keep being honest and intentional and you’ll reap the reward. Sometimes we give the right thing to the wrong people. There is someone else out there for you just stay open, and don’t become bitter no matter how disappointing it gets.

@@mawilove7086 appreciate your message. I have moved on since posting this and I’ve kept myself busy with work, working out, and volunteering at my church. It’s been great and loving it.

I'm sorry she treated you that way, she should have been honest if she didn't feel the same way.

@@Lavenderrose73 since my original post over four months ago, I recently found out she was pregnant and had a baby just last month. She was already pregnant while we were on our date.

you made my day lol (they really lookalike each other)

Yes. 100% agree. Please get to know people before you marry. I got into a marriage and ended up abused. :/ Hence why I think courting is a good idea. Know people as friends first. Their true colors will eventually show. Even friends. I've had friends turn their back on me because they became huffy and judgemental over what I did with my life. Their true colors shown. :( I really can't trust no one but God now. Satan really tempts and works over the church. Spirit of pride taking over the church right now. Everyone forgetting they are as sinful as the people they judge:/ True colors are shown through the fruit of their works. That's how you can tell if the spirit of Christ is with them. So courting is a time to observe. I think really the best way is to probably to focus on Christ. I think God is all about good timing. So if you devote your life to Christ, the more you can get on His good timing and the right person will be on that same timing :) Well, I think that's how it works anyways lol

This ideology comes from a fear of vulnerability and being hurt. When you are secure you can fully commit to dating one person at a time because you’re not afraid of something not working out and you ending up being alone because you are ok by yourself. When you focus on one person at a time you are giving your full self and you actually end up spotting deal breakers quicker than when you are wasting your time dating multiple people trying to find the one who makes you feel the best. Good women will see you as a red flag if you are not capable of just dating her. Meaning, you’ll miss out on quality chasing quantity. How will you be with one woman in marriage if you cannot date one woman for a few weeks.

I feel exactly the same way brother. Man this guy's advice was pretty bad

A woman's character is best displayed by the type of relationship she has with her family.

@@deadcell1 I see what you're saying, but for someone who doesn't see how the woman is with their family, it then makes it hard to know. And it's a bit hard to just kind of enter into their family situation to see what it's like. My point is basically that it's a good point, but seems not all too easy to put into application practically

I think it's for both

@@staffordcreeden-dl5rldid you clearly not hear where he said he was talking to the “men.”

The problem I see with many Christians are many of them do not live by the Word and the teachings of Jesus Christ. I am speaking about both men and women in the church. In my last relationship I made a terrible decision of trusting a woman like this who left me broken for a long time. A good portion of my trust was instill to her by who she claimed to be in Christ. Its been 5 years since we broke up and I still have a distastefulness towards Christian women because of her. God has helped me come a long way and brought alot of healing to me but if I do meet another woman who comes in the name of the Lord she will need to be not just a hearer of the Word but also a doer to win my trust.