Susan you are the best love coach because you focus on healing oneself, instead of getting someone.

I don't get angry about my last failed relationship, I get sad, great sorrow...I was always taught if I work hard, if I do my best, if I do the right thing...I will win. I have never done so much and gotten so little back!!!

Anger is stored in the liver. If I am feeling a lot of anger, I drink some dandelion tea to optimize my liver, and the anger gets cleared out. I hope this helps anyone who reads it

This is such a huge issue that is NEVER talked about. It is indeed a multilevel experience. It took me ten years to overcome the hurt and anger that I was left with after a terrible end to a Soul mate connection... I have since learned that there IS NOT only ONE soul mate connection in romance, no, there can be MANY in fact! And some are meant to be fleeting and few have the potential to be forever lasting.... It is liberating and amazing to have allowed myself to find this out, after Letting Go of what once was (and the fantasy of what COULD have been)...

I’m literally close to tears, this was published on my birthday and I truly needed to hear these words, as Ive been in a very bad place emotionally, Thank you so much for being a light to others and sharing your wisdom. You truly are a gift to earth. 🙏🏽🙏🏽✨✨

i accepted that he didnt love me what i cant accept is that he didnt have a once of resepct for me in the end on how he left me..

"Time heals all wounds".... It's just one of those things... Sometimes you'll never have the right answer. All you can do is find something else to fill the gaps... find time to make changes and work on yourself. As always Susan, your advice transcends and is absolutely spot-on. Thank you!

The one constant: Nice guys do finish last....I'm living proof of that.

At the outset of this video I planned to talk about my solution for such a problem which might help people in this situation too. I’m notorious for analyzing for YEARS what happened, why it happened etc! After the absolute final blow from an ex who returned and couldn’t give me what I needed and still kept our relationship secret to the “general friends public” I was very much done. I knew it in my heart I was truly done. Not that same “I’m done” you say but you’re really not done. LOL. But done in that I no longer care what he’s doing or where he is or who he’s with. He still pops in my head frequently and as soon as he does I mentally respond to the thought with “I’m done” and then I move on. It’s an easy advancement too compared to me obsessing years prior. I found my strength again with those words and I’ve not been this happy in years. I’m single and the search to be coupled does NOT haunt me and I’m not even looking. I am so happy, and if I don’t find someone I’m now accepting that sometimes long term reciprocative love doesn’t happen for some people.

My anger regarding my recent, painful breakup of a beautiful, six-year relationship, is over how he handled it, not as much as that he did it. In fact, I can understand if he broke up for the reason I believe he did (wanting to date others besides me having been married for so long before he met me) but it was HOW he made the break that was unacceptable (just flat disappeared)!

Anger is a way to hold on to a person (who wronged you !!! ). That's why I'm working on forgetting him. He was superfluous.

I think self-awareness, combined with the philosophy that every action incites a reaction are the keys to acceptance, healing and moving forward in a healthy way. One thing I have learned, we are never as self aware as we think we are. As far as ego goes, I find it is better to allow yourself a short period of time to grieve, followed by a gentle acceptance of what is so, relinquishing ego. Ego will cause one to suffer infinitely, if one allows it. Acceptance translates into a myriad of beliefs, pushing the ego aside. Believe, that they are a good couple, at least for the present moment. In your soul, wish them true happiness and believe true happiness is around the corner for you. When one door closes, do not waste your time on impossible relationships, life is too short! The reality is, you likely dodged a bullet filled with a future of unhappiness because something will always be missing in that relationship. Learn from it, move onward and upward! Namaste

I think you have a real gift for helping people! I did hear something once that made me think. People around you mirror where you’re at in life so all you have to do is take a look around to evaluate what’s going on subconsciously. For instance, if you attract (or are attracted to) people who can’t commit, then where are you not committing to yourself. By loving ourselves more and fulfilling the needs we have, then others will soon begin to reflect that as well (as a result of being attracted to better people). A change of deep belief needs to occur. It can be lonely during a real growth spurt because you shed the old of what no longer works and yet you don’t have the new people around you yet. It takes time. I love the movie Under The Tuscan Sun where she goes through a divorce after being cheated on and then rebuilds her life in Tuscany not knowing anyone - completely from scratch, one day at a time until people slowly grew into friendships around her and suddenly she was surrounded by love again in unexpected and tender ways.

Susan, this is valuable insight. I find myself holding onto anger from previous failed relationships, and you’re right. It’s detrimental to ourselves more than anyone else. Once I realize that, I feel ashamed and guilty for having felt so petty and angry. However, I’m learning to be less hard on myself. So this video is a great reminder; you win some, you lose some! Thank you!

Hey Susan, what I realized with my recent break up (6 months to the day of heart ache) was even though I was crying everyday, my anger was stopping me from accessing the really deep grief that I believe is needed to totally clear any and all attachments etc so our hearts can heal and we can live again as a free human being ... I see/know so many people who carry low level grief with them all their lives because they haven't grieved properly

Susan thank you for making us realize that the events of our life should serve us. I initially stated to change to get my ex back but I've realised that these changes have improved me as an individual too. it pinches because your ex didn't wait n moved on, but I've realised through your videos is that my next relationship will be much better cause I'm much better than what I was. Thank you for helping.

You are amazing and such a comfort to me. Thank you, Susan!

You saved me. Thanks Susan. Please never stop doing this. Please. You go girl.

Susan a woman's mind is the most attractive things she has you not only give hope but real life advice that really helps more then you know . Thank you so much.

My first love left me for another guy, hoovered me, discarded me then vanished without a trace. she didn't respect me then she never will. You wanna talk about anger? Its all about you, not them. At the point of anger you have given over too much power to the other person. Ask yourself are they manipulative, cunning, attention seeking, users, insecure? And what are your wounds? Seek more understanding to lessen the anger.

I've been dealing with anger whilst in a relationship. It's so destructive and harmful to both parties. I felt I wasn't getting what I wanted plus felt I was losing the person too after putting in much patience, work and time but more than this, I realised I felt a helpless victim. I started to change my thinking and started taking responsibility for my feelings instead of blaming him and it was that simple. Anger has melted and things are better despite the circumstances remaining much the same. The arguments have stopped and we can enjoy what we have without my expectations of what he can't give me right now spoiling the joy.

become better to be good to yourself, to be a good dater, optimistic. thank you, susan.

this woman is a genius

The universe let you know how I was feeling today Susan, I cannot thank you enough for sharing your incredible perspective and insight on a topic that everyone will go through at some point. You have made me feel so much better.

Lately I have said to myself " He is to Young for me" not the other way around. I have to say after serial dating to meet my next partner for 8 years where so many I have dated that go no further than 3 dates; I will not have" intercourse" right away. Many may disagree with me however I know me and I get Weird if I have had Home Base Relationships to soon. I am able to be more discerning especially in the beginning of a promising relationship or Not, I try to be the best woman for every date , dating has become a Skill set. Good luck to everyone of us that still believe in Love!

This popped up at a wonderful time. To give your everything to a man to later have him say he is over the relationship. It messes you up mentally giving your all to not receive any of it back even trying after the breakup.

Susan, you are indeed an angel.. Always letting me feel relax watching your videos,. your advices are very realistic and direct to the point. Thank u so much for always sharing your thoughts,. you mean so much to us.. 😘😘😘

Thank you to the person who shared with you. Thank you Susan for being of service to others.

Susan, I absolutely appreciate you and enjoy your videos. You have so much wisdom and knowledge. You truly are a therapist.

relates to life this so much. I had such a bad week helped so much back on track.

Susan-- DO a cruise for all of use!

I love the detailing you do for all your topics. Its amazing. It helps one heal at every layer. You're so cool.

Your videos keep me alive I cannt describe how much I appreciate your wisdom ❤️ Im broken to pieces dying inside I cannot possibly explain how Im feeling..

Ms. Winter I'm not sure that you'll read this but I'm hoping this reaches you some how. I want to just say very shortly how valuable you are to those of us struggling through the process of relationships. I have severe depression and my recent break up almost sent me over the edge finally..Let's just say you saved a life. Depression is not a subject to be taken lightly and I understand this but I needed to convey how strongly your impression has been on my life. Thank you are the words that beckon from this tired soul...Thank you for your wisdom Ms. Winter and I send my greatest thoughts to you.

Susan, I think you’re great and you’ve helped me a lot but I take some issue with your response on this one. I’m all for being zen and letting anger go, but in some cases when we’ve trusted and loved someone, treated them always with honesty and respect, and they do something like lie and cheat the anger is justified and it’s not easy to brush it off. Also, cheating men are so often completely lacking in empathy, especially if they’ve decided they want to end the relationship, and they can act like such jerks. It’s just not nice. And this is from someone who means something to us! The upset isn’t because we didn’t win but because we were treated in such a callous and brutally disrespectful way. It’s like if someone is angry with you and as he’s leaving your house he kicks your dog...you’d feel furious outrage, and you’d be justified. Like, how dare he?! It would be great to be Buddha under the lotus tree but I am not there yet. I will say though, I’ve acted with nothing but love and compassion toward my ex, but it has been an ongoing conscious decision, and I see the anger is in there and I feel it when I least expect it. I’m trying to process it. I hear you, though...it’s part of life. But I would never treat someone the way I’ve been treated and I’m pissed!

Best video you have ever done!! Thanks 🙏 Susan!!

This is an amazing question! I love the person who wrote it because I am right there’

While I completely own the failure of my relationship, and want to get back with him, I don't know if it will happen. So I am dating optimistically, while ready to welcome him back. The way I deal with him maybe never coming back is to remind myself that maybe i I would have seen something eventually that I would not be happy with.. That tempers my tendency to think it would have all been fantastic had we stayed together. Plus I remind myself what an excellent catch I truly am and keep plugging away.

As Lucifer say's ... The last feeling you will deny is anger . I hold on to my anger to survive. I gave too much of my self , in fact it all....and got, at the end of the day, nothing really usefull back. No more Mister Nice Guy. You only have yourself.

This MESSAGE turned on a light in my head..wooow love yourself

There is so much information in this short video. I had to watch a few times to really get the essence of it. I can so resonate with this topic. Thank you Susan for being so amazing as always.

Susan winters is a very good speaker or influence and very to the point I love your honesty to all those

Not gonna lie ur clearly the best coach the intuitive spin is what I needed

I love the titles Of Your Videos Need this so Much

This is a great video and very right helpful thoughts, thank you Susan!

Ms. Winter, what are your thoughts on women ( and men) who’ve come to accept that love may honestly not happen for them? I don’t mean in a way that makes them sound bitter or like they are just pitying themselves. I mean that they honestly accept that not everyone finds love... I’ve been feeling this way recently. I refuse to give myself any more false hope. Is something wrong with me?

This is such a powerful video packed full of wisdom and great insights. Awesome job Susan! ❤

I like this video! I realize that my anger should be directed at myself for allowing my ex to threaten ending our 7 1/2 year relationship if I didnt spend every weekend with her and her daughter in Wisconsin. That anger should be directed at myself and self healing.

Always love your advice. Thank you Susan!

I really needed to hear this, thank you😊👍

Such a great video!! Thank u for sharing this!! I found it very helpful as I'm going thru trying to release the anger myself of a relationship that didn't work out bc he didn't try. Have life serve us~ love it!! All the Best Susan!!! I think you are so Wonderful!!! 💐

I am going through a very similar situation and this has been very helpful! Thank you!

This is way easier said than done but I keep trying...

Susan you are so helpful and I love you. Thank you for all of your advice ma'am.

I love you! Thanks

Awesome video. Helped me a lot to overcome the anger caused by getting rejected.

There are.some aspects of my.marriage and divorce. The anger involved I won't ever be healed from..and being in another relationship won't help me either. Im through with dating.

Susan this is really helpful but right now I'm dealing with a situation that I'm extremely angry at my ex wife over issues around our child. She's only 7 and still depends on her parents working together for her best needs. I feel extremely disrespected and unappreciated. I'm very involved in my child's life and it's a constant up hill battle for equality. It's extremely hard to keep that resentment out of my life. If it wasn't for sharing a child together we would just go our separate ways. Love and light.

Hi Susan . Have you got any pearls of wisdom for us older daters. I’ve just had my heart broken but at 67 I’m not hopeful of finding love again . Is there any hope do you think. Shirley in Dorset U.K.

Your videos are amazing

I really struggled with anger after my breakup. I'm realizing that some of that is coming from me doing too many things to please him and for not standing up as strong in my own beliefs and needs when he was critical of the way I express love, just because it was different from the way he preferred to express That anger seems to bubble up when I realize I gave away too much personal power. I'm wishing now I could stand up to him and state my needs in a confident way without trying to convince him and not be so concerned about what he thinks. It makes me angry I let him get away with being less than kind at times and compensated for it with my own kindness. That it is too late to change that is what I think gets me going all over again

I loose sleep at night with hatred for my ex. 2 years together all a lie. I wish he would stop living.

I love this video, but this is so much harder when it comes to narcissism

That thought killing me and keeping me stock from moving on ! How could he left me for another one ! Is she better than me to doing that to me ? He left me without any explanation by ignoring me! He is enjoying his life while I m suffering!

This video was SO helpful! Thank you Susan!

Her words are gold!!!

At last a sensible therapist with this issue...

Susan I’m Still trying to get over a Friendship (10 years)I was Trying to make a Relationship with an older Women (6years older than I am) from October. I’m starting to date someone else at the moment...I’m still thinking of her. Thank you.

Susan your the best .I thank you from my heart .

Thank you

Good video. Needed it. Thank you.

Definitely agree with the self ego bit, it sucks when someone ends it (esp in text, not respectful at all) in only a short few months but have to remind ourselves there is a someone out there just for us. All in the Timing. Being Authentic & Staying True to ourselves 😉 P.s. worth a listen to a great 70's Aussie pop Rock Band song "Ego is not a Dirty Word" 🎤🎸🥁🎶

I agree sometimes things don't go the way you like. Even other things in life. I tried a currier change of job study and every thing I didn't get the job aircraft mechanic.

Helped a lot as the make in this

My ex refuses to talk to me. I left him because our relationships was going done hill after 3.5 years n no commitment. The love is real but I felt like I couldn't stay with a man who wasn't committed. 5 months later he won't answer a call. Only called him 2 times in 5 months tho. He's being spiteful. I wanted him to level up in my absence not go dead silent

You are so great!!! ❤️

Thank you..

LOL...I lost...everytime.

Susan, where can we post suggestions for a new topic?

Learn from the past and keep moving forward.😂

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 super convincing 😀

I don’t really believe it has something to do with ego cuz he made himself out to be something he’s not and lied to me about multiple different girls, lied about his virginity, cheated, and emotionally abused me.

Madam, she says I crossed her boundaries so blocked me... this is so bad...

I'm having a hard time right now with my anger right now.

Susan. What if the long distance relationship start with bedroom first then it get complicated. I wished I have watched all your videos a few yrs ago. Now I learnt and confront with him saying:” I’m tired of the game”. He respond:”xx”. He was planning he could come to see me to discuss it, but since I confront with him that he is playing games with me, I felt hurt and not protected from him. I’m dead inside on the phone before responding him that he was coming to see me. Now he isn’t coming to me. I wonder is he playing his game again? Putting me in the confused zone? Or he is done? I feel so hurt right now

😊

🙄confusing I am angry same time I am relieved it is over I know he have too manny faults I don’t want him he is not my cup of tea but why I am angry must be my ego getting hurt for him dumping me for his wife

Correct

everything in this video in beige lol

Hey Susan.. love from Bangladesh.. i use to watch ur videos regularly. I want to know is there any way to get that feelings back again when we fall in love for the first time? In my married life, that love and emotions are missing which were in our dating times.. can you suggest something on that please?

I needed that my friend blocked me cause she was getting yelled at while I tried to comfort her she blocked me

i have a lot of anger right now ...

Yeah I’m angry, he left by text message after 23yrs and took the money and pension I supported him to earn. He doesn’t want to pay much for our kids but gives them treats to look good.

Heard

Whoever of you guys have been dumped, go watch the interview of Oprah with Witney Houston. The last one. She would’ve been so lucky if Bobby Brown would have dumped her, but she wasn’t. Unfortunately for her.

He is guilty of what he said to this female who is 30 years younger...I am 2 years older..and I heard his "friend" doesn't want him to go with me cause in the "Italian" men should be older than their wives...only thing is...this women has a young child and the guy my ex...wants to be wth her...and doesn't feel any guilt w/all he ha said to me...I hate him and I NEVER HATED HIM...I don't like these readers in a reading saying someone is putting bad luck...she should not say anything...I am always nice...he is so mad at me because I can't or won't give him money...never seen this side of him...my husband was his friend and he said he gets cockie when he is with a women...meaning he shows off...I am so angry and I CAN'T HELP IT...I will NEVER say good things about him...I am going to block my phone...I don't believe he will call back...but I HOPE HE DOES...like Susan said...we caN't help getting angry

Little chilly?

Your e only female coach in listen too ! Lol

Susan, i'm now dating a girl for 5-6 dates and things are ok when we see each other but the social media life is kinda "lonely" it's because she isn't that open/candid on whatsapp, a datingcoach advised me to text like a tennisgame so sent a text and wait until she responds back so that there's balance but this restraint for me is not natural anyway... i'm a open book so writing about stuff is natural to me. Ok this is (if things are going right) the first relationship for me.... 1 should i adept to this one because it pays out in the end 2 i'm i doing it wrong right now?

Get out