They bailed out of the blue. Here’s why

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Susan Winter

Susan Winter

Күн бұрын

Why would someone urge you forward into caring for them, give you green lights, and connect so readily… then suddenly bail? Lines like ‘I’m not ready,’ or ‘I don’t want a relationship right now’ seem so incongruous with their former actions. Here’s why they bailed and what you can do about it.
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The Dating Games Guide: You know you're being played, but what's the game?
And what's your countermove?
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Пікірлер: 1 500
@pg9266
@pg9266 5 жыл бұрын
Funny how someone can make you feel secured and in a snap throw you out like there was no connection.
@DANFLIX98
@DANFLIX98 4 жыл бұрын
hurts hey... :(
@mdmmalou
@mdmmalou 4 жыл бұрын
@@DANFLIX98 yeh it really hurts, been thrown away like a banana peel. 🙈
@detectivehawk4976
@detectivehawk4976 4 жыл бұрын
mdmmalou Banana peels are compost able . So when you’re thrown out like a peel, make sure you grow into the earth and rebuild it.
@serenaroseauthentics1391
@serenaroseauthentics1391 4 жыл бұрын
If someone does this, you must never question or blame yourself. It was them, not you. Emotionally secure people don’t suddenly disconnect from their romantic interest as if they were a piece of rubbish.
@mdmmalou
@mdmmalou 4 жыл бұрын
​@@detectivehawk4976 Thankyou. Love your possitive response!
@bernieeod57
@bernieeod57 5 жыл бұрын
You cannot negotiate feelings. Once they decide to leave, accept their resignation
@ri5876
@ri5876 4 жыл бұрын
:( :(
@pkereszt
@pkereszt 4 жыл бұрын
So true, and good riddance if they feel that way. Don't whine and move on!!
@karenlynch8348
@karenlynch8348 4 жыл бұрын
Bernie EOD cant accept a disappearing! Like a kidnapping. It’s mentally ill
@lindazhang8004
@lindazhang8004 4 жыл бұрын
good one
@serenaroseauthentics1391
@serenaroseauthentics1391 4 жыл бұрын
Why would you want to renegotiate with someone who behaves like that any way?! Now your worth ladies. You were out of his league & it made him feel insecure. He needs to be with someone who won’t outshine him so he can feel superior & his self esteem doesn’t take a dent. Moral of the story ladies: don’t date down.
@alicecowser7758
@alicecowser7758 5 жыл бұрын
When that person stops the relationship suddenly...the best thing to do is workout and get healthy and focus on yourself...the best medicine...
@DavidWaldrip
@DavidWaldrip 4 жыл бұрын
Alice Cowser You are 100 percent right! Good luck and go become a better version of yourself! They will regret terribly what they did eventually...
@MrItsmellt
@MrItsmellt 3 жыл бұрын
Most definitely 👍
@zaink7037
@zaink7037 2 жыл бұрын
This is so true. When I got heartbroken last year I started working out more, looking at my physical appearance more than I ever had and had braces put on (before this happened) which really helped build my self respect
@ReginaldJamesLorico
@ReginaldJamesLorico 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly what I did upon learning the news. It helps that it happened when I was already equipped with Susan’s wisdom that somehow, it cushioned the blow.
@joshuahiha88
@joshuahiha88 2 жыл бұрын
Finally a comment that isn't a 'an ex is an ex for a reason'
@chriseleuterius
@chriseleuterius 5 жыл бұрын
"Not everyone has the skillset to be in a relationship"...awesome wisdom...thank you Susan.
@bagley232
@bagley232 4 жыл бұрын
I can relate to this, I feel I am not meant to be in anything long term. I recently experienced this and I admit I handled things wrong by pushing away a woman I fell in love with. I felt I was ready to be in a relationship with her, but she kept harping on the negative things she sensed. We had a disagreement one day and I told her it wasn't a big deal and not to worry about it and she told me I was being dismissive and passive aggressive and I really wasn't I just was trying to defuse a situation. As the day went on, she could not let it go. some of the negative things she saw in me I acknowledged them and really worked hard to change those things. The sticking point for me was in the disagreement she did not take a moment to acknowledge that "maybe" I was not being dismissive of her. I ended things with her later that night and although I really miss this woman maybe it was best to end it.
@dickbanger8924
@dickbanger8924 4 жыл бұрын
I think most men haven't got the skillset to be In a relationship with the majority of women considering how unbearable a girlfriend they are.
@karenlynch8348
@karenlynch8348 4 жыл бұрын
Chris v2.0 agreed but, they had the “skillset” to open their pie hole & talk! To ask you to date, to unzip their dick! Now? Really cant even text you
@joevignolor4u949
@joevignolor4u949 4 жыл бұрын
Early childhood trauma, known as childhood or complex PTSD, can be the cause of much of this behavior. Traumatic childhood experiences can lead to relationship aversion and intimacy induced anxiety later in life. Things start off okay because everything begins casually and people still feel detached. But as attachment and intimacy approaches it can cause a panic response that causes a person to flee from the relationship. I know. I've experienced it. I have cPTDS and I have had associated relationship and intimacy aversion for years. When I would find someone I liked and found myself getting attached to them I would suddenly panic and run away. It's a bad place to be because you want intimacy so badly but you can't let yourself have it. In order to alleviate the symptoms you have to fix the underlying problems, which relate back to your early trauma. Its the only way out.
@Thundarr995
@Thundarr995 4 жыл бұрын
@@dickbanger8924 True Dat
@myrahouse2368
@myrahouse2368 5 жыл бұрын
When they show you who they really are believe them.
@jimsmith6547
@jimsmith6547 4 жыл бұрын
That's so true
@janz5186
@janz5186 3 жыл бұрын
This is so true, and when this sinks in, it is a game changer.
@chadburkle1461
@chadburkle1461 3 жыл бұрын
How do we know it’s the real them?
@chrisnamaste3572
@chrisnamaste3572 3 жыл бұрын
I do that with women all of the time.
@talithanagoor3707
@talithanagoor3707 4 ай бұрын
Met a guy who I thought was all that but he hurt me
@RG-hf4et
@RG-hf4et 5 жыл бұрын
Too many people these days are bailing like this. This has happened to me more than once. It is very hurtful behavior.
@evka24
@evka24 5 жыл бұрын
delay sex get to know them first
@kristenmoonrise
@kristenmoonrise 5 жыл бұрын
@@evka24 as if people can't play a game or hide their true selves until they finally do get sex.
@RG-hf4et
@RG-hf4et 5 жыл бұрын
@@evka24 This isn't about always including sex. Sometimes you make a connection and they persued you several times, you respond nicely and they disappear.
@evka24
@evka24 5 жыл бұрын
it was not true connection from the heart it was connection for the ego. ego loves quality and souls loves quality. some people have not reach on that step yet @@RG-hf4et
@RG-hf4et
@RG-hf4et 5 жыл бұрын
@@evka24 Of course I know it wasn't a true connection and it was only an ego thing for the guy. It is still very hurtful behavior no matter what.
@ViNtAgELovv11
@ViNtAgELovv11 5 жыл бұрын
Yeah, they are addicted to the fantasy. There's always something better out there according to them. Once shit gets real, they realize you aren't the fantasy they hoped for. It takes work, it takes authenticity...and they realize oh, thats not what I actually wanted. They wanted a fantasy.
@beefield1765
@beefield1765 5 жыл бұрын
ViNtAgELovv11 well said 👍
@1StepForwardToday
@1StepForwardToday 5 жыл бұрын
They want everything to revolve perfectly around them. But, since they aren't perfect, and they choose not to work on fixing themselves, all of their relationships fall apart. No matter how perfect a partner they find, they will always become unhappy, bcuz the problem lies within themselves. Nobody can fix that part of them, except themselves. But, nonetheless, as a partner we can choose to always be reaching towards reaching our fullest potential as a partner. If we have room to improve, then focus upon that, and work on fixing it. In this way, we better ourselves, and we give any partner of ours a better chance at reaching them with our love and guidance of dignity. If someone becomes a Christian, and truly follows the instructions that Christ says, then they will learn these things. Christianity teaches specifically in the ways of unconditional love and dignity. These are the guiding principles and remedies to all problems in life.
@buffhotchkiss7400
@buffhotchkiss7400 5 жыл бұрын
Completely infantile and unrealistic.
@Classroom.Celeste
@Classroom.Celeste 5 жыл бұрын
ViNtAgELovv11 it also takes honesty - clearly the other was pretentious all along
@honey-feeney9800
@honey-feeney9800 4 жыл бұрын
Kibbie Lou good response and insight
@margarita0422
@margarita0422 5 жыл бұрын
omg this happened to me. Im still in shock it went from 100 to zero 😳
@athraa4936
@athraa4936 4 жыл бұрын
Me to not just you and these men will call it casual.
@motlagomangmakoe4456
@motlagomangmakoe4456 4 жыл бұрын
I didn't even see it coming😕
@maldmc2873
@maldmc2873 4 жыл бұрын
its ok you have a prince charming coming your way .
@basicinfo2022
@basicinfo2022 4 жыл бұрын
Most narcissists are men. Watch sheraseven1 channel too to weed them out.
@denisealvarez8292
@denisealvarez8292 4 жыл бұрын
@@motlagomangmakoe4456 me either, crazy how that happens :(
@IzzoWingChun
@IzzoWingChun 4 жыл бұрын
This woman is the absolute most knowledge person on KZfaq addressing these issues. She is hands down the most accurate and practical in her teachings. Outstanding.
@marinz4life
@marinz4life 3 жыл бұрын
I was coming to write the same thing but you beat me to it. She's an absolute genius with this stuff!
@AleksandraSavic21
@AleksandraSavic21 3 жыл бұрын
yass! Amen to Susan and this sentence
@chrisnamaste3572
@chrisnamaste3572 3 жыл бұрын
She makes a lot of assumptions which are not necessarily true.
@lizaagonzi5946
@lizaagonzi5946 3 жыл бұрын
@@chrisnamaste3572 no she doesn't!! She is Excellent!!
@EmilyGloeggler7984
@EmilyGloeggler7984 3 жыл бұрын
She is not the most accurate. She is making broadstroke assumptions that do not fit for every individual relationship.
@tbo2120
@tbo2120 5 жыл бұрын
Yes. They look at our imperfections, and become so disappointed when they realise we are flawed and loving us will mean hard work and effort. This becomes their excuse. It will take more of their time to adjust, learn and grow together but these aren’t things they want to get involved with. Their perfect life mustn’t be invaded or changed. Avoid these people. We co-relate by compromise, vulnerability and emotional maturity. If they aren’t prepared to meet you in these basic places ..... see ya.
@karenlynch8348
@karenlynch8348 4 жыл бұрын
T Bo as tho they have no flaws! As women we have to get Tough & grill them before they can get away with this
@avril.227
@avril.227 4 жыл бұрын
I love this statement. “ We co-relate by compromise, vulnerability and emotional maturity “. So insightful!
@karenlynch8348
@karenlynch8348 4 жыл бұрын
Funny isn’t it they are NO PRIZE yet we accept the adult idea of imperfections. These types are now rampant thanks to online dating offering an endless buffet of women they “think” are theirs - it also has led men to become Adults without Social Skills. They are basically social retards.
@bambinoesu
@bambinoesu 4 жыл бұрын
beautiful put, spot on
@TiagoMontoia
@TiagoMontoia 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for taking the time to write this comment...I truly needed this today! Keep strong
@Sarafara7
@Sarafara7 3 жыл бұрын
When you said “you weren’t delusional, they were there,” made me tear up. My friend kept on telling me that this “relationship” I had was all in my head - that was really damaging to me. Because I know he wanted me, but couldn’t go all the way to commitment. But there was definitely something there that we had.
@vidzorko4492
@vidzorko4492 2 жыл бұрын
XDD LMAO
@littlemissy8356
@littlemissy8356 2 жыл бұрын
That doesn't mean he's everything you thought he was. And probably you gave him a lot more credit than he deserved.
@Sarafara7
@Sarafara7 2 жыл бұрын
@@littlemissy8356 I did give him a lot more credit. I was keen on seeing the good in him. Lesson learned :)
@iskandaraziz7904
@iskandaraziz7904 2 жыл бұрын
Hey how are you now?
@danilaroche1156
@danilaroche1156 2 жыл бұрын
Your 'friend' lacks empathy. I encourage you to allow God to help you in the romance department. Let the Lord heal your pain and make you whole. He's the best matchmaker...
@theroomnumber5210
@theroomnumber5210 3 жыл бұрын
My ex broke up with me out of nowhere and I was thinking we felt so much for each other. And when we broke up, I cried and my exact words were "what did I do wrong?". It really messed me up. 9 months later... I had to find my worth all over again and stronger for it. It taught me some amazing lessons.
@micahrutland9021
@micahrutland9021 24 күн бұрын
I went thru this exact thing, with no one to talk to.
@NotoriousRKB
@NotoriousRKB 5 жыл бұрын
Happened to me twice with the same woman. Quit on me. I beat myself up for months. It is better now when I finally realized there was nothing I could have done
@the_peach75
@the_peach75 5 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I had that for 3 and a half years .. my feelings are currently flat lining till it all comes back ..
@PipeOPhile
@PipeOPhile 5 жыл бұрын
Enjoy the calm before another storm hah But it's good to know you tried your best. Some people just can't do commitment and while it hurts to find out our loved one is one of those, it's better not to prolong the agony. Nice bike videos btw
@hansmdinkermaniiv1665
@hansmdinkermaniiv1665 5 жыл бұрын
Ryan Boyer what makes moving on is difficult is when you blame yourself for the situation, once you take that blame out of the scenario you are able to move on. This is because it’s hurts to accept that we are flawed and someone might not want to be with us when in reality it’s the other partners fault and it’s not personal
@empoyvega6795
@empoyvega6795 5 жыл бұрын
Same here man. Happened to me twice with the same woman. I gave so much but I thought it was not enough but in the end, realized that she is the one who lack feelings and fell of the horse. I just learned that in between our 1st break up...she got a rebound BF for 3 months. She went back and apparently circled back on quitting on me. I am trying now to accept the truth that THEY CANT DO IT!
@Andrea-sl8wd
@Andrea-sl8wd 5 жыл бұрын
Ryan Boyer Her loss.
@brendonwalker806
@brendonwalker806 Жыл бұрын
Until reaching the grand age of 51, I'd never had anyone appear so invested in me, only to suddenly switch and bail. The resulting trauma this has unleashed, frankly, has been horrendous. Susan's videos have played a pivotal part in my recovery, and two months on, although I'm not yet there and still stumble, I'm celebrating the small steps back to the mentally healthy person I once was ❤
@JeffreyGillespie
@JeffreyGillespie 4 жыл бұрын
I really like that you're not a 23 year old girl or a douchey player guy in a trucker hat. You're a real person and your presentations are so much more authentic.
@lm5608
@lm5608 2 жыл бұрын
Spot on
@johndonaldson3619
@johndonaldson3619 4 жыл бұрын
HE BAILED: Heres' why: He either got what he wanted or didn't get what he wanted..THE END!
@michellemichelle5202
@michellemichelle5202 4 жыл бұрын
True. Sometimes women bail too, for the same reasons. It’s why I bailed
@jeanniefelix6534
@jeanniefelix6534 3 жыл бұрын
That person is just not for you, accept it, that's why having sex w people isn't good, the let down hurts, that's why I'm celibate, lots of b's out there
@emanaturalsaus
@emanaturalsaus 3 жыл бұрын
Or He used u
@coreyanderson1457
@coreyanderson1457 3 жыл бұрын
I agree.
@karenlynch8348
@karenlynch8348 3 жыл бұрын
Lol 😂 so true but then where’s the middle ground of dating? As for men getting what they want, I usually tell them don’t be cheap, got get a hooker
@awestphal40
@awestphal40 5 жыл бұрын
This is great! And true! My favorite saying that has gotten me past this bizarre breakup is: when they show you who they are, believe them.
@makeitcount2985
@makeitcount2985 5 жыл бұрын
Very true
@MrUprise02
@MrUprise02 5 жыл бұрын
Agreed! Her last words were: “You don’t know who are you talking to! You have no idea how I really am!” Broke up and she shut me down ever since. Complete 180. No recourse. No offer of sympathy of any kind. All gestures are discarded. My mind keep going back to the great moments. She became a different person. But I am finally accepting it. Thanks partly to this video. Need to accept who she “really” is.
@MrTheomighty1
@MrTheomighty1 5 жыл бұрын
Kay Cee This is exactly just how my ex gf was with me, but the ex had to deal with her needy mum, I've mentioned this in other comments and I tried to get the ex to break free of her mum, and to show her that there is a life pasted her mum, but given the mum is how she is the ex is trapped and I'm the one thats had to go,,the ex is 50 and her mum is 78, many a time I've said to the ex I'm going to buy your mum a kangaroo costume, she said why ?? , I replied and said so your mum can have you in the front pouch, I was called a child, stop over reacting, look why you doing this again and I'm a communicator and she isn't, she'd leave it a few hours so she didn't have to deal with it then talk about other stuff as if what I asked never existed but if the ex wanted me and I didn't reply I'd get it in the neck , she's like Jekyll and Hyde ....but now I can't seem to let her go even tho I know it's the right thing to do,once her mum is out of the equation then she will be a completely different woman, I'm certain of it
@truthisburningthelies3053
@truthisburningthelies3053 5 жыл бұрын
@@MrTheomighty1 is there another angle you could look at your situation. . I mean no offence but are there health issues with the mother? Is your ex an only child? Does the ex have close friends or just her mother? It seems from your statement that you pushed to hard to get your own needs met.. that is her mother the longest relationship we ever have are with our parents strong family bonds. Just seems to me you should look to why it bothers you so much that you dont have all her time and control..wish you well..
@MrTheomighty1
@MrTheomighty1 5 жыл бұрын
Lenore me.. as I’m aware the mother didn’t have health issues until she was diagnosed with leukaemia which now is why me and the ex are no longer together as the ex has moved in with her mum, which this I understand has to happen but before the mother had this leukaemia my ex gf didn’t have close friends for the same reason as I went through and yes my ex is the only child so she’s taking on the roll of her dad that passed away some 13 years ago, the mother said to me that my gf at the time was always a daddies girl ...I know children have bonds with parents but my ex was worried that if we went out anywhere that her mum would call, so the ex said it’s easier if we didn’t do things, my time with the ex was after 10.30 at night until early hours after she’d been with her mum since getting in from work, I’d never been to the ex’s mums to sit with my ex gf as the mum wanted her daughter to herself, her mum called us one Sunday morning 13 times just to ask when my ex her daughter was going around the expression in my ex’s face said it all, the only time my ex gets a break is at her place of work and her mum calls her up there too
@stephenn77
@stephenn77 10 ай бұрын
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them!” Don’t ignore the red flags.
@lindaread9838
@lindaread9838 Ай бұрын
Maya Angelo ❤
@tina-lw9rr
@tina-lw9rr 4 жыл бұрын
It’s almost like in their heads that they feel too much of a good thing is a bad thing because they’re insecure/intimidated once someone they really like comes into the picture
@taylorellis4336
@taylorellis4336 4 жыл бұрын
My thing is they don’t have the decency to even break up with me they just act like there not even in a relationship
@BigeuleLP
@BigeuleLP 3 жыл бұрын
Those people are cowards
@sadboi7537
@sadboi7537 3 жыл бұрын
@@BigeuleLP 100%. Dishonesty is an immediate deal breaker. My ex and I never officially “called it quits”, yet she hopped on Hinge and found someone within a few weeks of us slowing down on texting/talking. I didn’t find out until three months later. Unbelievable. Serious scumbag move right there.
@annepooler366
@annepooler366 5 жыл бұрын
Commitmentphobia is a real thing. Read "Men Who Cant Love" and "He' Scared, She's Scared. " It will change your life. If they are commitment phobic there is nothing you can do. They run because of feelings in them that make them feel claustrophobic and trapped. It overtakes them. They cant fight it. No amount of perfection, love and understanding by you will fix it, it will drive them further away.
@--emt
@--emt 5 жыл бұрын
It's called engulfment fears and bpd and bi polar also narcissist share the same feeling can't live without.. can't live with
@cabragoon4746
@cabragoon4746 5 жыл бұрын
Gold tell more. I have a few questions about the personalities you’ve mentioned. Just for comparison. And if they had one of those. Which I’m thinking.
@--emt
@--emt 5 жыл бұрын
Cabra Goon bpd is deathly afraid of abandonment and needs to be told I love you and needs reassurance all the time they also are afraid of getting to close so its pull you in push you out and repeat Bi polar is when people love what your giving them attentions whatever it is then you dont give them whatever they want in their mood fluctuates going up and down if you don't meet their expectations so they get pissed about everything then love you and it's hot and cold Narc is when they can not get close cuz they know they are a fake and behind there mask they are a insecure coward they also cant live with you and when you leave they freak out and fear abandonment big time but they dont love like bpd they dont have empathy and what you see them display it's fake
@makeitcount2985
@makeitcount2985 5 жыл бұрын
That's not true Anne, some people do work on themselves. A relationship takes two parties so when commitment phobic people get involved they stay and give many chances to the other party until they realize that they aren't getting what they need... Affection etc and leave
@RG-hf4et
@RG-hf4et 5 жыл бұрын
@@makeitcount2985 How is it, as you say, that a person who stays and gives many chances until they realize they aren't getting what they need, commitment phobic? That doesn't make sense to me. If a person is giving many chances to try to make a relationship work, I would call it pathologically committed - not leaving when the relationship isn't working and you have tried everything to make it work.
@marktryer315
@marktryer315 5 жыл бұрын
Thanks Susan you pulled my ass out of the crazy Zone
@mariabrennan72
@mariabrennan72 2 жыл бұрын
Mine too it’s crazy
@er8552
@er8552 5 жыл бұрын
Well he destroyed me. I️ don’t even know how I️ will get thru this, I️ can’t wrap my head around it. I️ have no idea how to move forward .. so sad
@donnaleblanc3726
@donnaleblanc3726 5 жыл бұрын
E R It is hard to believe people can be this way. Be good to yourself. I have been through it too. It took awhile to feel like myself again. When it first happened it was all I could think about for months.
@DANFLIX98
@DANFLIX98 4 жыл бұрын
@@donnaleblanc3726 I'm going thru it now :( its been 2 months and its all i can think about...
@dominiccobb6470
@dominiccobb6470 4 жыл бұрын
same.. did you get through it?
@helenasoldevilla8208
@helenasoldevilla8208 3 жыл бұрын
How is it going? It's been over a year
@coreyanderson1457
@coreyanderson1457 3 жыл бұрын
That person isn't the one, perhaps. And there is another door for you. What is in motion stays in motion.
@kristinemedina2839
@kristinemedina2839 2 жыл бұрын
I had to watch this and listen over and over again. The guy i previously just blew me off and ...for me everything is going well perfectly between us but he had to make the decision to leave because he needs to fix his inner issues and he needed to be alone to do that. I respected it but also need to come to terms of how im gonna get myself back to that space before i met him after filling an imagined future with him that apparently he has no plan to be a part of. Such a pain to go through because in dating a lot of people or having relationships with exes..ive never been so sure about someone in my life. I now i dont even know ill feel this way about anyone ever again. I'm 30 and I know that seems still young but its a one of a kind certainty that i felt and now...i.fear i will never feel that again :( Thank you Susan for this ..i needed to hear it several times to really get myself to move forward with hope and optimism
@petersjj
@petersjj Жыл бұрын
WOW WOW WOW. Just got dumped out of the blue in a relationship I thought was working well. I guess I was living in another reality. This video helped me so so so so much to get my bearings and gave me peace. Thank you so much for these words of wisdom. I will come back to it on my low days of grief over my loss.
@davidsisson2026
@davidsisson2026 Жыл бұрын
Same here. Can't say she bailed out of the blue. Worse she bailed right in front of me.
@Lmaooheyyy
@Lmaooheyyy 11 ай бұрын
hey, how do u feel about the break up now??
@davidsisson2026
@davidsisson2026 11 ай бұрын
@@Lmaooheyyy . Its hell
@All12rounds
@All12rounds 8 ай бұрын
Same 🩵
@saifolazman
@saifolazman 5 жыл бұрын
I cried watching this video. I'm losing sleep but i can't control the overthinking. I feel so powerless.
@vicky2glam366
@vicky2glam366 5 жыл бұрын
I know certainly God is giving me the answer by listening this deep advices from susan to give me the oportunity to be aware and consious im ok, and the really issue is matter le him. And being able to feel safe and getting peace by the time. You will be OK, I promiss it is working something in your inner person to build and reinforce your heart and value.
@rimoumamari7346
@rimoumamari7346 4 жыл бұрын
Are you over it now?
@catlady8052
@catlady8052 4 жыл бұрын
Same
@vanessakleinart
@vanessakleinart 6 ай бұрын
“it’s not gonna make sense because it’s nonsensical” :”) thank you for your words, honestly helping me through this time a lot
@jimstevens1726
@jimstevens1726 5 жыл бұрын
After watching this one, I am finally able to close the book on this woman I cared about and worried about. Thanks.
@samanthajane11.11
@samanthajane11.11 5 жыл бұрын
Loving the narcissist was hard. Him disappearing was upsetting but not having to be on that rollercoaster is definitely easier! Thanks Susan!
@CancerLove555
@CancerLove555 Жыл бұрын
I love your perspective. "They scared themselves" and "they may not have a skillset for a commited relationship". I am learning so much from you Susan! ❤ Thank you!!!
@joybartlett379
@joybartlett379 4 жыл бұрын
That was great Susan. I'm gonna watch it again. When you say "relationships are about consistency", So true, so true. When I met him and invited him to play I said "I like you a lot. Let's see how it goes." He cried "but You don't know me".... then he jumped in with both feet. We were an item. Then 3 months later, he dumped me. I see what he meant now. He meant "you don't know what a messed up individual I am, and I love chasing illusions. When I find out you're a real live human being, I'm gone."
@solidcatink
@solidcatink 4 жыл бұрын
thank you, susan... his running away broke me. i finally slammed the door on this tragedy, and am trying to recover.
@DONT4GET_SUNSCREEN
@DONT4GET_SUNSCREEN 5 жыл бұрын
The mental peace is every thing. It's like the sky opened up and harp music is playing. This is where I'm at in my life.😇
@theanonymoushelpline7248
@theanonymoushelpline7248 2 жыл бұрын
💖💖💖
@MrFrankcarp
@MrFrankcarp 3 жыл бұрын
She left suddenly and disappeared after 4 years together. I had trouble eating for the first 6 months afterwards. Lost 50 lbs. Thank you for shedding light on this for me.
@Flickit100
@Flickit100 10 күн бұрын
@MrFrankcarp what a tough way to lose weight
@bestgg6116
@bestgg6116 5 жыл бұрын
This is probably the video I can relate the most. I was in 1 year relationship and talked about serious stuff. He was always the one pushing for commitment, i.e. moving in together, marriage, etc... Two days ignoring me and then broke up out of the blue. I realized how immature he was and how we was up for everything while things were easy. Once the relationship required a bigger effort he escaped and even worse, blamed it on me... I can see how a reasonable person would have talked about it instead of just running...
@All12rounds
@All12rounds 8 ай бұрын
Same exact thing happened to me.
@EnzoIsabella
@EnzoIsabella 6 ай бұрын
Exact same thing happened to me
@user-bo3kx3vs5m
@user-bo3kx3vs5m 5 ай бұрын
same i think dismissive avoidant?
@dianacrainiciuc8440
@dianacrainiciuc8440 2 жыл бұрын
"They could do the first phase. They couldn't sustain the whole package" Thank you so much, Susan Winter. It makes sense now. I can and want to move forwards. Time has come.
@inspiredinthedark23
@inspiredinthedark23 5 жыл бұрын
Love this! It's been over a year, and I'm still dealing with the emotional after-math of the man who ghosted on me after 14 months together. The last time I spoke to him was a month into the ghosting, when I calmly messaged him to call him on his bs, officially ended things, and mailed his stuff to him (no note). I am learning to let go- because as you said, it's something I can't fix, and it really his about HIS issues. "He can't do it." Yep. That perfectly captures what happened. So instead, I can only work on myself, and move forward with my life. I've done pretty well in the past year, and I will continue this journey to develop myself, and to become a better partner for the next guy and a better person for MYSELF.
@tnt01
@tnt01 5 жыл бұрын
Good for you, you deserve love and respect :)
@trendafile6356
@trendafile6356 5 жыл бұрын
how r u now ?
@spiltstudios
@spiltstudios 5 жыл бұрын
Shows his immaturity, it’s not hard to meet up/call/message, especially after being together for that amount of time. Your comment also shows your strength and maturity, I’m so glad you are focusing on you, you deserve worlds better than him! I also got dumped exactly 14 months into my relationship with my ex, thank you for reminding me to be strong x
@chongher5347
@chongher5347 4 жыл бұрын
inspiredinthedark sorry girl! What doesn’t break you makes you stronger!
@doquyenle2878
@doquyenle2878 4 жыл бұрын
He also suddenly ghosted me after 6 months of dating. I wanted to talk to know the reason why but he kept silent so I decided to do the closure. He still watches my IG stories very regularly and sometimes likes the photos. After 1 year I felt that I still missed him so I texted and asked how he was after he watched a story of mine, he became very rude and said why I texted him and he had a girlfriend, which was very rude and made me surprised. I felt hurt and I just realized that he was seeing that girl while dating me, and he left and ghosted me for that girl. He’s really an asshole and didn’t deserve my love and respect. So I have no reason to miss him and I have to move on with my good life and find a true man who deserves my love and respect, and also truly respect and love me.
@alexandravtensek1216
@alexandravtensek1216 5 жыл бұрын
Brilliant video Susan. "Not everyone has a skill set for being in a relationship.". I love the way you worded that. It makes so much sense. This is exactly what my expartner of 6 years doesn't have.
@karenlynch8348
@karenlynch8348 4 жыл бұрын
Alexandra V Tensek had they the skillset to date you? I don’t make excuses for these creeps
@alexandravtensek1216
@alexandravtensek1216 4 жыл бұрын
@@karenlynch8348 you think he would have. He was divorced, two children and 45 years old when I met him. Water under the bridge. Not interested anymore. Single for two years and loving it.
@alexandravtensek1216
@alexandravtensek1216 4 жыл бұрын
@William Hutchinson Thank you for the compliment! 😊😊😊
@karenlynch8348
@karenlynch8348 4 жыл бұрын
Alexandra V Tensek i love Susan Winters! I guess i am more literal than you & many men don’t have skill sets. They CAN learn tho. I got rid of one as well. He didn’t go easily, nor nicely but i am SO HAPPY without him too. Its not holding on & forcing make no misunderstanding. Too many men waste women’s lives yet never work to develop skill sets
@opheliasfoxx7429
@opheliasfoxx7429 5 жыл бұрын
Happened to me. Very avoidant attachment. It was good then in 1 day it was over.
@garimaheath
@garimaheath 5 жыл бұрын
Yes .... there’s no logic in lunacy. They will grow up or they never will. They just can’t be the mature, consistent person you expected. I just want to be myself again.
@serenaslattery3631
@serenaslattery3631 5 жыл бұрын
You're a sweetheart Susan. Thank you for all your advice. I am Single 12 years, 44 and the dating world seems more complicated than ever. Bless you.
@PipeOPhile
@PipeOPhile 5 жыл бұрын
Just know what you want, don't compromise and do your part of that vision. Good luck out there.
@pam164
@pam164 5 жыл бұрын
Yep ive been single 3 years had few dud!! Dates, but i can't be arsed anymore with men.
@LilliR4116
@LilliR4116 5 жыл бұрын
The dating world is complicated yes!!! And why is that? To much temptation, to many dating sites, to many resources of how to etc? To much fantasy fluff and dodgy advice. To many mind games. Its sad and unfortunate for single people regardless of age, to enjoy a courtship with anyone, people have no more morals and values in relationships anymore. People assume its cool these days to use other's either for sex or money or whatever other reason, while the other person is investing in being a couple. People think its okay to act however they want in a relationship because its okay to do that, but what they are doing is luring and leading the other person on and this is when it gets psychologically dangerous regarding a persons well being!!!
@serenaslattery3631
@serenaslattery3631 5 жыл бұрын
@@LilliR4116 You are right. I had a couple of dates recently. After lunch one Saturday afternoon, we had some drinks around 4pm at a hotel bar, it was very warm so just juices. He then asks me if I want to get a room? I couldn't believe it. I said I don't live my life like that. A few texts later, never heard from him again.
@LilliR4116
@LilliR4116 5 жыл бұрын
@@serenaslattery3631 That's exactly what I'm talking about, next time tell him, 'it goes against your values'. That's just no respect, if he wants to get a room tell him to frequent the brothels or hire an escort that's their job. You're looking for a partnership not a sexual encounter transaction! ✋ 😉
@gabrielf.cespedes6451
@gabrielf.cespedes6451 5 жыл бұрын
Love how this just happened to me, exactly the same thing, and now God, life, the universe, is showing me some light, reasuring me that it s all gonna be alright
@IntricatelyRandomAsian
@IntricatelyRandomAsian 5 жыл бұрын
Omg you are not alone! Feels good to know a lot of people have been through this situation, like me
@gabrielf.cespedes6451
@gabrielf.cespedes6451 5 жыл бұрын
@@IntricatelyRandomAsian thanks. Love from Perú sister
@truthisburningthelies3053
@truthisburningthelies3053 5 жыл бұрын
Thrill of the chase is what i believe they are only wanting from the flavor of the moment. NPD. GREAT ADVICE. .
@cinnamorollkitty
@cinnamorollkitty 3 жыл бұрын
I watch this every night before bed when my mind starts racing, this is the best video ever ❤️
@josenavas9968
@josenavas9968 5 жыл бұрын
Ms Winters; It is as you said in a previous video. "No matter how one tried. Smart, sensitive, humorous, great cook"...it will be never enough. Sad but the truth is what? Wish them well and leave quietly.
@karenlynch8348
@karenlynch8348 4 жыл бұрын
Jose Navas i wish them to grow up with a good therapist! Its the ultimate in Selfish
@marniewilliams5435
@marniewilliams5435 5 жыл бұрын
I am going through this now. Ty 4 reassuring me that I haven't done anything to deserve this. It was a great time while it lasted. If he comes back I'll be more guarded and he will be responsible for showing me he has changed.
@chinoman7234
@chinoman7234 4 жыл бұрын
Marnie Williams don’t go back. Trust me. Closure is over rated. He will do the same thing. Or you will be so guarded it will not work. It’s over. Never go back always move forward
@Melody9616
@Melody9616 3 жыл бұрын
Did he ever come back?
@littlemissy8356
@littlemissy8356 2 жыл бұрын
Don't go back to him. You are saying that it might happen, which tells me you are not seeing him clearly. Take another really good look. Do you want to go back to someone who did this to you? Don't.
@aidanjack3094
@aidanjack3094 9 ай бұрын
20 right now and just got dumped by my now ex gf. Her best friend she met 2 months after we started dating was able to somehow convince her I was a manipulative person that thought of women as objects. She convinced her I would just be like her ex and end up becoming abusive. Instead of telling me these concerns she let it all bottle up then exploded it all into one long message to ruin me. When I asked if we could have a conversation she said that it shows how much I think I can control women because I think I have the right to a conversation, I thought we were dating but I guess she didn’t feel the same. Thank you for helping me get past this I wish I knew where all these concerns came from but I guess I’ll never know I’ll push forward and try not to look back.
@neodistinct
@neodistinct 4 ай бұрын
Saying that "you don't have a right for a conversation" is psychological violence
@Fhchvhvbvh
@Fhchvhvbvh 4 жыл бұрын
I really enjoyed watching this video. I recently had someone do this to me, and I was confused on what happened. After going back and analyzing, I realized this is what happened. I love the person still, but I’m ok with letting them go. Not because I don’t care, but if the person is that scared and has issues that are bigger than me, there isn’t really anything to do but let go. It took me a long time to learn how to love myself enough to where I’m ok with my own company. Knowing that the right guy is out there, I won’t be less because someone else can’t be more.
@marshallfox1786
@marshallfox1786 11 ай бұрын
Wow, the I won’t be less because someone else can’t be more statement at the end is beautiful.
@madamhummingbird
@madamhummingbird 4 жыл бұрын
The type of man who expresses interest in finding a real commitment, but in actuality is only capable of sustaining the noncommital types of relationships with ease.
@SusanWinter
@SusanWinter 4 жыл бұрын
Excellent point!
@sharon8464
@sharon8464 3 жыл бұрын
Just extricated myself from someone exactly like this, not before a few rounds of hot and cold. I saw the light in the end with the help of Susan's videos. Stopped wondering if it was me, when I tried every way possible to make things work and realised it really isn't. I'm now in a really positive place and ready for someone who will meet me on equal terms 🙂
@SexyWellness
@SexyWellness 5 жыл бұрын
I love this one too! Many people have had trauma in their past that inhibits their ability to be in a healthy relationship. They might not have had an emotionally healthy childhood (no good role models) but will try to be "normal" and enjoy "normal" things. When their hearts open up to someone, first it's beautiful, then fear (or in the case of my ex - anger) takes over ... You can almost be relieved if they run away, instead of you sliding into an unhealthy relationship... but the pain of loss at first is very great.
@volsdeep9395
@volsdeep9395 Жыл бұрын
This is literally what happened to me a month ago. I was seeing a girl for six months and we both started to fall for each other hard. Right from the beginning though she told me she didn’t want a relationship (there’s some trauma there) and I was totally cool with it. We hung out casually then things gradually started getting more serious. She finally told me she loved me, got attached, and how she wasn’t expecting that at all. Five days after she told me that she said it wasn’t a good idea for us to hangout anymore. And she started talking to someone else almost instantly. I know I can’t fix her, but I still want her. Even if she came back though, I don’t think I’d be able to. This really sucks but your channel is helping me a lot. Thank you.
@susanyaggey1026
@susanyaggey1026 11 ай бұрын
Ditto
@erikamanos60
@erikamanos60 Жыл бұрын
"They were there, and now they aren't "... that is profound! Hit home.
@igorbalanovski182
@igorbalanovski182 4 жыл бұрын
Very wise words. People not having a skill to be in a relationship is a key factor to many of today's situations in a relationship. This is so important to be aware of
@tetehl4731
@tetehl4731 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much. This had been my dating scene for the last three years. My relationships just fizzle out after 3 months. I have doubted myself. Ive stop dating for the last few months. I don't want to play the dating game for now for own sanity. Good advice as always. 😊
@kylefletcher2521
@kylefletcher2521 4 жыл бұрын
Described my situation to an absolute T! Wow im blown away!
@AbbieGirl
@AbbieGirl 5 жыл бұрын
OMG, I think you really hit the nail on the head. After 6 long months of anxiety, depression, crying and sheer panic, I'm finally on the mend after coming to the realization the partner I was with is exactly like this. I'm likable and getting my confidence back and learning that I am worth it!!!. I am the prize. Thank you so much. I watch all your videos and will continue to do so as I work on myself instead of focusing how to get my ex back just to make the pain go away. With pain there is growth and have I ever grown the last of of 2018 so regardless of the disappointments, I can say that all is well that ends well and I am well. Thank you
@rebeccajones8628
@rebeccajones8628 3 жыл бұрын
I cut off a relationship when the guy would not call when he said he would. There were BIG red flags from the start. He gaslit, ignored me, he was wishy washy, broke plans and I was not getting what was good for me. I said BYE. He was upset at first, but he was relieved I think. He could not communicate and would not......
@PoweredbyJESUS7
@PoweredbyJESUS7 4 жыл бұрын
Susan hit the nail on the head with this one. Once someone leaves you for reasons that make no sense and it’s out of the blue you HAVE TO GO YOUR OWN WAY AND GET YOUR POWER BACK exactly how she said it. And you don’t go your own way just to feed that thought in your mind of doing it to get them back. Focus on yourself and if (naturally) they see you grabbing life by the horns and that you can be happy without them most times that sends a trigger in them to want to win you back. Then they will be the ones putting in the effort instead of how it used to be of you catering to them or the one putting most of the work into the relationship. Doing you is always the best way to go about life and things will gravitate toward you that are meant to be.
@bozzekaka
@bozzekaka 3 жыл бұрын
If I ever take him back he will have to had minimum 6 months of therapy, a ring to offer and an apartment that we shall live in.
@tenaciousd1347
@tenaciousd1347 4 жыл бұрын
You are an incredible ambassador of empowering people when they are feeling fragile and confused. Your videos are honest and comforting. I wish more people watched videos like this - we all need to realise that life is so very short and that it’s okay to be scared but it’s even better to be honest and open to sharing your fear with the people who love you and can help you to grow beyond your fears. Only then can you say you’ve lived a full and true life.
@morpheus3190
@morpheus3190 9 ай бұрын
Thanks Susan, it’s so hard to let go as she just ran away and I have no idea why. You put everything in perspective. She got everything she wanted and just bailed. I know after a year that it is unfixable. I am longer trying to get her back and moving on. Stay strong everyone.
@knightyknight5399
@knightyknight5399 5 жыл бұрын
The famous line they always use. .. Its not you its me!!!.. i never go back once ive moved on I'm done....☺
@amadeo-mysticmusic1542
@amadeo-mysticmusic1542 4 жыл бұрын
yes that is the worst line ever, I always roll my eyes when I hear it
@jasonmims5057
@jasonmims5057 5 жыл бұрын
Heres something ive learned as ive gotten older : from the time your born until your old and on your deathbed you will a multitude of people of all types of personalities and heres the big kicker that people dont understand: Most human life ends by dying in a bed old gray with no teeth. Yeah thats depressing and movies make fun of that but that is the reality of humanity. So by knowing that i never get deeply upset when something bad happens because i know its aittle part of life that i will look back on when im old and dying as nothing and going back to my first point is that when you are refelecting on your life most of the people that hurt you will not be remembered. So dont let the bad behavior of people stop you from living.
@cql8878
@cql8878 2 жыл бұрын
always date someone who you think is not as good as you. so that when they left, you can feel: oh well, he/she's scared of how good I am. And guess what, that's usually the case.
@stormwatcher528
@stormwatcher528 2 жыл бұрын
Thx Susan, this is the exact thing that happened to me with a woman I dated. Its like she just turned off a switch and walked away. Your advice is helping me process what happened. Thank you
@angelinadenisenko7396
@angelinadenisenko7396 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. This happened to me after an amazing 6 months where we connected and he even talked of the future very often. He moved to my city but then told me he didn't want to be in a relationship and he needed to figure out his life. I was devastated and shocked. I think when he moved he realised that it was going to be real now, not just a fantasy. I thought he did have a skillset for a relationship, but then he was also recently divorced- I think it was a mix of him grieving that relationship, comparing me to her (his insecurities), and not openly communicating with me. I think he thought he was ready, but he wasn't. He never treated me badly, he was just slowly shutting down emotionally. It was actually one of my fulfilling relationships where I felt like I could be accepted as myself. I'm really not sure, when divorce is involved does this change anything? Maybe he will be more equipped to try again in a few years? He did tell me he knows he will see me again in the future, plus he was extremely hot and cold with his emotions before he moved back to his city.
@mikeseager3401
@mikeseager3401 4 жыл бұрын
4th Time I've Watched this. Each Time I Learn a Little More. Life SUCKS Because I TRULY Loved That Woman with Everything in Me!! You've Opened My Eyes Beautiful Lady!!
@suhani5156
@suhani5156 3 жыл бұрын
Been in the spiral for 2 months. Not anymore. Acceptance is the hardest part. But once you get it, there’s no going back ♥️
@aimesdaddy
@aimesdaddy 5 жыл бұрын
Susan this nailed it for me. It doesn’t solve it by any means because like you said it’s not logical. This helps me process it. I’ve been in a funk over my break up for 8 months. Only the gym helps. I know there’s nothing I could’ve done.
@maha77
@maha77 2 жыл бұрын
20+ years of deep intimacy, and the week before everything changed we talk about how lucky we are, then suddenly the next week they pull back 90% and I have no idea why. It was so agonizing at first, I looked for all the ways to blame myself, wracked my brains trying to figure out what I did wrong. Eventually started to realize maybe it wasn't something I did. But I mostly feel like it was. I am finding positives in this finally, after months, the positive is I am enjoying my life and questioning why I was so attached. I just have to give them total space, we still communicate, and there may be an opening for a future, but I am tired of hurting so I find I am letting go of wanting it or caring.
@zenmaiden1
@zenmaiden1 5 жыл бұрын
Wow Susan, you said what I have been thinking after reflection, being in a relationship like this is so hard. It happened to me, I’m still feeling it and noticed from his past stories of relationships he pushed people away at a certain point, in all of them. Says he wants to find the one”, but there is no “one”. We talked every day and “there is no reason” I could find. We always got along so well, and every time we have seen each other always fun. It’s very painful, and yes I have beat myself up with the why for months. “There is no why.” You are right dead on.
@naturelife2473
@naturelife2473 5 жыл бұрын
I wish you will have nice person.ibam 34 looking for serious relationship.
@lorettanericcio-bohlman567
@lorettanericcio-bohlman567 4 жыл бұрын
Norman, baby you're on the wrong site...
@kylegary6311
@kylegary6311 3 жыл бұрын
Hey Susan, I just came across your videos and I LOVE them! Especially this one. Out of all the videos I watched, this one made me feel the best. Thank you!
@moonbysa
@moonbysa 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you Susan! As always your perspective is insightful and helpful.
@sasdekock870
@sasdekock870 5 жыл бұрын
This was just what I needed to hear.. Thank you Susan..
@KoalaJoanne
@KoalaJoanne 5 жыл бұрын
Hey Ms. Susan, this is some good stuff! Just found your videos and is helping me immensely from years of hurt feelings of rejection and inadequacy. Thank you so much, please continue helping people like me.
@joevignolor4u949
@joevignolor4u949 4 жыл бұрын
Its worse now with the newer technology. It used to be that you would at least get a "Dear John" or "Dear Jane" letter in the mail. Now they just start ghosting you. Suddenly there are no more texts being sent back to you, no more emails replied to and no more picking up the phone. Its just suddenly - nothing. You might not even get the full meaning of it right away. It might take a week or two to come to the final realization that the other person is gone. And you don't even get an explanation for it either.
@firefoxchibi
@firefoxchibi 5 жыл бұрын
This video is everything, thank you so much Susan. My question is, why do men like this (who are scared, confused by relationships, not fully open to real love, etc.) start off so strong and get themselves in too deep too soon, instead of taking it slow and dipping their toes in the water? Or are they so unaware of their own fear that they don't even realise they *need* to take it slow?
@lorettanericcio-bohlman567
@lorettanericcio-bohlman567 4 жыл бұрын
OR possibly narcissistic and don't care about what they do
@S0L0M1A
@S0L0M1A 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for telling this. I’m in off and on relationship with a guy (currently off), and only after the last break up I started to see the pattern. He’s pulling away every time it was time for the ‘next step’. I was blaming myself for becoming needy closer to the end and thought it was the reason he broke up with me. Only recently I became able to see it’s the other way around: I felt needy because he’d started to pull away. I felt and acted insecure because he’d become unsure first. Thank you again for your video, it was a great comfort to hear this kind of confirmation of my thoughts.
@nohandle587
@nohandle587 5 жыл бұрын
Just stumbled on your videos today, OMG.. How timely. What wealth of wisdom . Thank you Susan
@pattydiaz6210
@pattydiaz6210 5 жыл бұрын
Wow this is exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you so much for your videos.
@sitifarhanafajrinadnan
@sitifarhanafajrinadnan 5 жыл бұрын
Partnership is about consistency...wow...okay..;)
@hopscotch39
@hopscotch39 5 жыл бұрын
This was so helpful and comforting. Thank you
@l.hernandez7858
@l.hernandez7858 4 жыл бұрын
Wow, this really hit home! Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us and helping those of us who feel lost find our way 🙏🏼
@TheRealLucidNightmare
@TheRealLucidNightmare 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for these videos and this one in particular. I can’t tell you how much it has meant to me and how it has changed my perspective on the situation that I find myself then.
@violetlune72
@violetlune72 5 жыл бұрын
❤️ you have no idea how much your your videos have helped me
@MissSarahGM
@MissSarahGM 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Susan, you've helped me greatly with every word you said here. "He couldn't do it. It's within him. I can't fit it." I have been struggling for months to let go of a lover, looking for how I could redeem myself and handle his intimacy and avoidance issues in order to get back the honeymoon phase. He has borderline disorder. He showed me the best he was able of but could not sustain it and be consistent. I have been getting crumbs of interest, it is killing me. I have been staying there in hopes I could do something for him to return to how it was before. But this is not working and painful, I need to remove myself from this one-sided unhealthy connection. As you said in a previous video, it is particularly hard to let go of a new relationship that was so full of promises and intense, but I have missed that he does not have the skill set to sustain a relationship and be vulnerable. As he said, he does self sabotage.
@JorgeCampos12345
@JorgeCampos12345 5 жыл бұрын
I ve been going through this lately, I was the one that did self sabotage when everything was actually going great. What I did realize was that getting into a new relationship was actually triggering some past break up traumas and fear of abandonment, even though, in the present, nothing justified that I felt this way. It's like some form of PTSD, and we have to be very aware of this if we don't to destroy our relationship and hurt our partner. Learn how distinguish between real issues in the relationship and problems that are caused by past traumas.
@lorettanericcio-bohlman567
@lorettanericcio-bohlman567 4 жыл бұрын
Not our job to figure them out
@markandrewhoran
@markandrewhoran 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this! You are so spot on.
@RobStone
@RobStone 5 жыл бұрын
My word that is absolutly spot on from what I've experienced later. Thank You a huge! Amount Susan xx
@sadafjaved1458
@sadafjaved1458 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for such a thorough discussion on the topic. Made me feel much better.
@00starryeyed
@00starryeyed 5 жыл бұрын
Honestly the best advice I’ve seen on this topic. Profound advice, thank you 💞
@astrocatcity
@astrocatcity 5 жыл бұрын
Susan you're wonderful and your advice is spot on. I'm so happy to have found your channel!
@cringelord1809
@cringelord1809 5 жыл бұрын
Yeah this video was perfect for my situation. Thank you, Susan!
@ZERO-rj1xv
@ZERO-rj1xv 5 жыл бұрын
I think I need to watch this everyday to let it sink in.
@andybrown4124
@andybrown4124 4 жыл бұрын
So glad i discovered your channel Susan...I love your videos. As someone who was dumped a year ago and the pain is still so bad, this has calmed my mind a bit. I was dumped out of the blue after two lovely years, never saw it coming so maybe it wasn't my fault after all...I was always so kind and loving and loved her so much and I still do! Love is sometimes not enough though. :-( One thing I will say though...I will never dive in and give my heart to anyone again. Its made me very wary. I dont ever want to go through this pain again. Its a shame as I have so much love to give and am a good person but I would find it hard now to give my heart fully to someone new.
@lolliman21
@lolliman21 4 жыл бұрын
You can be as wary as you like. 11 years I was with my parthner and in the space of the covid she broke up with me. People just change, claim the they understand stuff and are aware yet sit back while you struggle all the while giving times to others.
@savagemistress1552
@savagemistress1552 4 жыл бұрын
This is everything!! We appreciate you so much! Thank you🦋💕
@jermainebradshaw5143
@jermainebradshaw5143 5 жыл бұрын
Amazing! I just went through this last week and every thing you're saying occurred in my situation. This was extremely therapeutic! Thank you.
@OkThen2024
@OkThen2024 5 жыл бұрын
Wow. This was divine timing. Thank you ☺
@Iamtrejack
@Iamtrejack 4 жыл бұрын
This video speaks to me soooooo hardddd!! Thank you Susan, it's amazing how you nailed a situation I've dealt with, I really thought I was sort of alone.
@testimony-
@testimony- 5 жыл бұрын
Hard, solid truth. Thank you!
@leanne5814
@leanne5814 5 жыл бұрын
Wow Susan... this is amazing! I can finally, finally heal my heart and life. Thank you SO much ❤️
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